OAOMEF Breakout! 10/24/02

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

OAOMEF Breakout! For Thursday October 24th 2002

 

A shot of Mystery Eskimo holding up the OAOMEF world title fades into the Hell In A Cell from last weeks show...

 

Both men are up, and Eskimo hits the IGLOO DDT! 1...2....NO! 2.999999! Eskimo curses, and tries a KILLERWHALEPLEX! 1...2...NO! Eskimo tries for another KWP, but AP reverses the fullnelson and hits one of his own! 1...2...NO! The fans are counting along with the referee, and get louder on each pin attempt. Both men are bleeding and sweating and exhausted. Eskimo has AP up, and goes for the Blizzard Bomb, but AP headbutts ME, grabs the leg, ANGLE-PLEX! 1...2....THREE!

 

BOOM!

 

Fozzy's "The Mob Rules" plays as the OAOMEF arena once again bursts into life for Week SIX of OAOMEF Breakout!

 

JT Wheeler: BAH GAWD, that was a SLOBBERKNOCKER! Last week Angle-plex became the new OAOMEF World Heavyweight Champion, pinning Mystery Eskimo cleanly in the middle of the ring! Welcome fans! I'm JT Wheeler, and welcome to another pulsating edition of Breakout! Tonight we'll see the fall out from that huge title change, plus the first challenger to Angle-plex will be revealed as Brock Lesnar battles JINGUS in a number one contenders match! We're ready to go with our first match, lets head-

 

JT is interupted by "God of Thunder" as Thunderkid walks out to the ring!

 

JT: What? Thunderkid isnt scheduled to wrestle now!

 

Thunderkid climbs into the ring and grabs a mic. He looks pissed, and tells the OAOMEF crowd to shut up before they've even had a chance to say anything.

 

TK: Most of you should know why I'm out here. If not, I'll tell you why. I assume some of you people watch that second rate, OAOMEF wannabe show called IZHD. (crowd boos) If you did see that show, you'll know that my...I guess now FORMER tag team partner Reject, turned his back on me, and cost me a shot at the OAOAST North American title. Now, this is something I can honestly say I never saw coming. I mean, he had shown no signs of being upset with me. I thought he had smartened up...I thought he realized that we have to stick together to have any chance in the wrestling industry. The corrupt leadership of the OAOAST would never give us a chance to shine on our own. On top of that, we've had a lot of broken promises against us right here in the OAOMEF. Sure, I won the OAOMEF USTV title, only to be practically thrown to the wolves two weeks in a row against JINGUS. Sure, me and Reject won the OAOMEF tag belts. And what do they do? They turn right around and try to keep us apart, so we can't show the whole world who the REAL tag team champs are. When me and you attacked the REAL jobber in this organization, Angle-Plex, did we get noticed? NO. Because Angle-Plex ignored us and went on with his World title match, that one of the two of us should have gotten. We just didn't have the ties to the powers-that-be that Agnes has, or one of us would be standing here with the OAOMEF World title right now.

 

You talk about me getting all the title shots? Well, maybe that's because I'M the one who won my match in the mini-tourney. YOU lost to Naz Mistry, and he didn't need for me to stab you in the back for that to happen. What does that say about you? It says that you're jealous. You're JEALOUS of me, because I won my tournament match, I got the shot against Naz Mistry, I got the shot against CWM last week, and I carried our tag team...NOT you. And your jealousy drove you to break up the greatest tag team in OAOAST history, and turn your back on the only person in this business who gives a fuck about you. MME doesn't give a fuck about you. Supershit doesn't give a fuck about you. Popick DEFINITELY doesn't give a fuck about you. I was the only person that MADE anyone give a fuck about you, or me for that matter. But guess what now? You ended that, and in theory ended your own career in the process. And now...I'll take care of ending your career in the physical aspect. And when I get you in the ring, I just hope Agnes is watching my massacre of you. When I get a hold of you, it's gonna make Sandman and Evenflow's matches, look like you and your sister playing with your Barbies by comparison (crowd pops).

 

TK: Now...as for Angle-plex...well, I damn near crippled Angle-plex on IZHD, only to find that he no-sells it for Breakout, a mere three days later! Roll the footage!

 

The EskimoTron and the viewers see footage from IZHD:

 

Angle-Plex arrives in his car, to a loud chorus of boos. As he reaches in the back seat to get his bags, two drop-top Corvettes pull up, one in front of his car and one in back. TK gets out of his blue 'Vette, in back of the car, and tells AP:

 

TK: "Like my new ride? I got it with the great pay I'm receiving from the OAOAMEF. (crowd boos) I could have never had a car like this in OAOAST, making jobber wage. (crowd boos again) But I'm especially enjoying the champion's bonus pay, which I got by beating YOU for the OAOMEF USTV title."

 

AP freezes, and gives TK a dirty look, still reaching for his bag. This is the signal for Reject to hop out of the other Vette and slam the car door on AP's arm! Reject then goes around to the other side and gets in the passenger's seat. He holds AP's wrist, as TK gets on the hood of Reject's torch red 'Vette...and comes off with a VAN-TERMINATOR, kicking the door onto AP's arm once again!!!

 

The crowd is at a total loss as to how to react to this, as TK and Reject get back in their Vettes. As TK drives by the injured AP, he stops and says:

 

TK: Who's the jobber now, BIATCH???

 

We cut back to the ring.

 

TK: There! I beat the crap out of him, and he's fine! He even wins the OAOMEF world title! Not only that, but I lost the USTV title to JINGUS, and with it a shot at being No 1 contender! Well, I want a shot at that title! I want it now, in this very ring! Get out here, Angle-plex!

 

"Ice Ice Baby" plays and Mystery Eskimo appears! He stands at the top of the entrance way and produces a mic.

 

ME: Thunderkid, let me clear one thing up right now. You're not going to get a shot at the World Title. OK? You're going to do your damn job and do not interrupt the OAOMEF schedule! Now get out of the ring, we have a show to put on!

 

TK: You'll have to make me leave, you frozen freak, I'm staying till I get that shot!

 

Eskimo shrugs and suddenly runs down to the ring. He slides in only for TK to stomp him down. TK looks for the Thunderbolt DDT but Eskimo pushes him off and nails him with a Penguin Kick! Eskimo looks for the FROSTBITE FACELOCK but TK pulls out a pair of brass knucks from nowhere and nails MME! TK then grabs a chair from the outside and proceeds to beat the hell out of Eskimo.

 

JT: BAH GAWD, A HEINOUS ATTACK ON THE OWNER OF THE OAOMEF!

 

Suddenly, REJECT runs out, wielding a baseball bat. He cracks it across the head of Thunderkid, who goes down, and then attacks Eskimo too! Reject batters both men with the bat, until ANGLE-PLEX runs out, spins Reject round and gives him a DDT. But Thunderkid gets up and nails AP with the Thunderbolt DDT! TK grabs the bat and starts to attack all three men! Security runs out to stop TK, who looks like he has snapped!

 

JT: MAH GAWD, TK HAS GONE BESERK! WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK WHILE WE SORT THIS MESS OUT!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

We're back, with security seperating all 4 men. Eskimo has a mic.

 

ME: Thunderkid, you just pissed me off. Ok, I got a deal for you. Well, not so much a deal, because you have no choice in the matter, but here it is - later tonight, You and Reject will defend the OAOMEF tag titles and Angle-plex and Mystery Eskimo!

 

Crowd POPS!

 

TK shakes his head and swears at Eskimo

 

ME: But, IF, and thats a damn big IF, Thunderkid manages to pin Angle-plex to win the match, he will get a title shot on next weeks show!

 

TK: Deal, Eskimo! You should have kept your mouth shut, because I'm going to pin AP 1,2,3 in the middle of that ring, and then next week do exactly the same thing, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!

 

Angle-plex is about to reply when he is cut off by Reject!

 

Reject: Just a damn minute, Thunderkid! Since we're replaying videos, lets take a look at a little something that went down on IntenseZone this week! Let me take you back to your match against Naz Mistry. Roll the footage!

 

Footage from IZHD pkays:

 

TK goes for a baseball slide to Naz's head, but Naz hits a breakdancing move and lifts himself up and over, locking TK in with a headscissors submission. TK was so close to the ropes that it didnt really matter, and the hold is quickly relinquished.

 

Naz takes control with a whip to the far turnbuckle...somersaulting into a belly to belly throw, TK landing in the middle of the ring. Naz goes up top as Reject makes his way down ringside.

 

Naz hits a moonsault! onto TK and covers...1...2...no! Reject pulls Naz out...but then pulls TK up to his feet... TOTAL REJECTION!

 

Naz is stunned, and quickly covers as Reject watches...1...2...3!

 

Your winner and new #1 Contender for the North American TV Title, NazMistry

 

Greenmist comes running out and tells Naz to hightail it, the two leave as Reject stands over a fallen ThunderKid...He grabs a mike.

 

" So Thunderkid, I guess you want to know my reasons for turning on you?"

"I am sick and tired of being unappreciated. Being used as a Stepping Stone"

"Week after Week, Match after Match, I have to carry your Sorry Ass and where does it get me?"

"NOWHERE! You get all the Title Shots, You get all the Television Time.What do I get? NOTHING!"

"Why the hell do you think we are The OAOMEF Tag Team Champions? Becuase of you? NO! It was because of me busting my Ass trying to get us The Titles and Opportunities that we never got while we were in The Deadly Alliance"

"I thought we were Partners, but you used me to get to the top and showed me no respect" So now, I am going to have to beat some respect into you"

 

We cut back again to the OAOMEF ring, where Thunderkid is looking SHOCKED once more!

 

Reject: So, I'll team with you tonight, Thunderkid, but it'll be for the last time. Eskimo, let me tell you another stip for this match- if I make the winning pin, I take possesion of both tag titles and get choice of a new partner!

 

Eskimo smiles, and nods acceptance.

 

Thunderkid glares at Reject for spoiling his plans, Eskimo and Angle-plex grin and shake as they leave the ring.

 

We're back, with security seperating all 4 men. Eskimo has a mic.

 

ME: Thunderkid, you just pissed me off. Ok, I got a deal for you. Well, not so much a deal, because you have no choice in the matter, but here it is - later tonight, You and Reject will defend the OAOMEF tag titles and Angle-plex and Mystery Eskimo!

 

Crowd POPS!

 

TK shakes his head and swears at Eskimo

 

ME: But, IF, and thats a damn big IF, Thunderkid manages to pin Angle-plex in the match, he will get a title shot on next weeks show!

 

TK: Deal, Eskimo! You should have kept your mouth shut, because I'm going to pin AP 1,2,3 in the middle of that ring, and then next week do exactly the same thing, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!

 

Angle-plex is about to reply when he is cut off by Reject!

 

Reject: Just a damn minute, Thunderkid! Since we're replaying videos, lets take a look at a little something that went down on IntenseZone this week! Let me take you back to your match against Naz Mistry. Roll the footage!

 

TK goes for a baseball slide to Naz's head, but Naz hits a breakdancing move and lifts himself up and over, locking TK in with a headscissors submission. TK was so close to the ropes that it didnt really matter, and the hold is quickly relinquished.

 

Naz takes control with a whip to the far turnbuckle...somersaulting into a belly to belly throw, TK landing in the middle of the ring. Naz goes up top as Reject makes his way down ringside.

 

Naz hits a moonsault! onto TK and covers...1...2...no! Reject pulls Naz out...but then pulls TK up to his feet... TOTAL REJECTION!

 

Naz is stunned, and quickly covers as Reject watches...1...2...3!

 

Your winner and new #1 Contender for the North American TV Title, NazMistry

 

Greenmist comes running out and tells Naz to hightail it, the two leave as Reject stands over a fallen ThunderKid...He grabs a mike.

 

" So Thunderkid, I guess you want to know my reasons for turning on you?"

"I am sick and tired of being unappreciated. Being used as a Stepping Stone"

"Week after Week, Match after Match, I have to carry your Sorry Ass and where does it get me?"

"NOWHERE! You get all the Title Shots, You get all the Television Time.What do I get? NOTHING!"

"Why the hell do you think we are The OAOMEF Tag Team Champions? Becuase of you? NO! It was because of me busting my Ass trying to get us The Titles and Opportunities that we never got while we were in The Deadly Alliance"

"I thought we were Partners, but you used me to get to the top and showed me no respect" So now, I am going to have to beat some respect into you"

 

We cut back again to the OAOMEF ring, where Thunderkid is looking SHOCKED once more!

 

Reject: So, I'll team with you tonight, Thunderkid, but it'll be for the last time. Eskimo, let me tell you another stip for this match- if I make the winning pin, I take possesion of both tag titles and get choice of a new partner!

 

Eskimo smiles, and nods acceptance.

 

Thunderkid glares at Reject for spoiling his plans, Eskimo and Angle-plex grin and shake as they leave the ring.

 

JT: BAH GAWD FANS! Thunderkid just got himself a chance at the World title, and Reject has a shot at taking the OAOMEF tag belts home for himself! But he and Reject must team succesfully to defeat Eskimo and AP,the former and current OAOMEF world champions! We'll be back after this with a very special match from earlier today.

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

JT: Folks, let us take you back to earlier today, when the much-anticipated Chris Jericho/Superstar empty arena match took place. It was the first ever in OAOMEF history, and sure was a classic. And to give this match its full effect, all commentary will be withdrawn.

 

One fall, no time limit

Empty Arena match

The Superstar vs. Chris Jericho

 

The Y2J countdown hits zero as “Break the Walls Down” hits and the crowd goes….err, never mind. Jericho charges to the ring, as there are no fans to acknowledge.

 

“Just Got Wicked” hits and you can cut the silence with a knife. Of course, that’s to be expected. Superstar had an outstanding match against Zack Malibu on IntenseZone, but will he be able to win tonight? He charges to the ring, stares down Jericho, and we’re off!

 

The two men circle each other, while talking trash. They go for a lockup, but Superstar slaps the taste out of Y2J’s mouth! Jericho reels back for a slap of his own, but instead opts to take Superstar down with a double-leg, as both men flurry each other with punches. The ref tries to break it up, but he can’t because it’s NO HOLDZ BARRED, BAYBEE~! As they fight, they roll all the way to the outside of the ring. Superstar knees Jericho in the midsection and whips him into the ring steps to take over. As Jericho stumbles around, Superstar gives him a back suplex on the COLD, HARD CONCRETE!

 

Superstar leaps up into the ring and attempts a somersault plancha on Jericho, but he moves and Superstar lands BACK FIRST on the concrete! Jericho elbow drops him on the floor and rolls him into the ring. Superstar reverses a whip, but Jericho gets the flying forearm, followed by a vertical suplex and ARROGANT COVER~! for two. Superstar gets pissed off, and gives Jericho a MEGA RUDO LARIATOO! Superstar picks Jericho up and executes a cross corner whip, followed by a stinger splash, right into a bulldog! Cover gets 1.5. Superstar picks Jericho up and HURDLES him out of the ring, towards the entrance ramp. Superstar grabs Jericho in a headlock and brings him to the top of the ramp, but as he attempts a vertical suplex, Jericho blocks it and hits one of his own, as Superstar’s back once again hits the steel! Jericho hits a couple kicks and stomps on Superstar’s injured back before picking him up and hitting a scoop slam!

 

Jericho notices a loose metal bar on the EskimoTron and attempts to retrieve it as a weapon, but Superstar is up and clubs Jericho from behind, before taking the bar himself and nailing Jericho in the midsection with it, followed by a shot to the back! Jericho goes down hard, but Superstar charges and gives Jericho a senton splash on the ribs! As Jericho lies helpless on the steel, Superstar picks him up and attempts to throw him off the stage…but Jericho counters with a mule kick only 1 foot away from the edge! As Superstar doubles over in pain, Jericho grabs Superstar’s head, and BULLDOGS SUPERSTAR OFF THE STAGE, ONTO A TABLE~!

 

Both men look dead, as the referee checks on them. He doesn’t make the “X”, so they’re supposedly ok. After about 30 seconds and 3 replays, Jericho begins to stir, and covers Superstar: 1…2…NO! Had Jericho covered earlier, that might’ve been it! Both men groggily rise to their feet, and continue to brawl again. However, Superstar thrusts Jericho in his injured ribs and rams him into a guardrail, before giving him a front suplex onto it. Superstar then grabs a piece of the broken table and slams it right into Jericho’s ribs! As Jericho begins to get up in the front row, Superstar charges, jumps onto the barricade and hits a flying clothesline on Jericho! A whole row of chairs fall in a domino effect, and Superstar grabs one and gives Jericho a NASTY shot to the head. As Jericho is on the ground, Superstar attempts to hit the ribs again, but Jericho moves and gets a schoolboy: 1…2.NO! Superstar gets up and takes a wild swing with the chair, but Jericho ducks again and dropkicks the chair right into Superstar’s face!

 

Y2J picks up The Superstar and goes for a vertical suplex, but Superstar reverses this time with the return of the WELL PLACED KICK TO THE NUTS~! Followed by a brainbuster onto the concrete! Cover: 1…2…NO! Jericho barely escaped the cover. Superstar waits for Jericho to get up, and leaps off the barricade with the return of the GHETTO BLASTER~! Superstar is busting out all of his OLD SCHOOL moves tonight, baybee! Superstar looks in position for the Upper Class bulldog on a chair, but as they go through the air, Jericho stops and pushes Superstar off, as he once again lands on his injured back! Jericho goes for his double-arm backbreaker, but Superstar escapes and gets a rolling prawn hold: 1…2…NO! Superstar grabs another chair, but Jericho does as well, and we have a dueling chairs match! Finally, Superstar goes low with a chairshot to Jericho’s gut, and a rib breaker! Superstar has been merciless on Jericho’s ribs!

 

As they brawl towards the upper deck, Superstar low blows Jericho and hits him with a conveniently placed chair! Superstar places Y2J on the electrician’s table, and starts heading up the stairs to the Upper deck! He signals…for the SUPERSPLASH! He’s groggy but goes…and JERICHO MOVES! SUPERSTAR JUST HIT THE SUPERSPLASH FROM 10 FEET THROUGH A TABLE!!! Superstar must be dead! Y2J, however, makes the mistake of not covering Superstar, but instead heads to the upper deck himself! He’s set up backwards…LIONSAULT FROM THE UPPER DECK…BUT SUPERSTAR MOVES AND JERICHO LANDS RIBS-FIRST ON THE BROKEN SHARDS OF TABLE! THE CARNAGE! THE CARNAGE! We get multiple replays of both moves before they finally start to stir, both bleeding from different parts of their body. As they start throwing wild punches, Superstar ducks a punch and throws Jericho down a set of stairs, into the basement area!

 

Superstar slowly walks down the stairs and charges at Jericho, but Jericho is back up with a SPINEBUSTER! SUPERSTAR LANDS BACK-FIRST ON THE CONCRETE ONCE AGAIN! Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, but Superstar launches him head first into a garage door! As Jericho stumbles back, Superstar gets a small package: 1…2…NO!!!!!!! Superstar makes the “That’s It!” motion, and brings Jericho into the bed of a parked 18-wheeler. He goes for a dragon suplex, but Jericho reverses into a rollup: 1…2…NO!!! Superstar pops up and LARIATS Jericho so hard, he falls off the bed of the TRUCK! Superstar then uses the slight elevation for a SPLASH ONTO JERICHO’S RIBS! He then grabs a wooden pallet and sets it up, before giving Jericho a vertical suplex onto it!

 

He picks Jericho up and signals for the Star Power II onto the pallet…but Jericho breaks it up with a knee to the gut, and another, before both men exchange punches. However, Superstar ducks a Jericho clothesline and hoists Y2J up…STAR POWER DRIVER ON THE WOODEN PALLET, WHICH BREAKS UPON IMPACT!!!!! The wood has also cut Superstar’s knees open, so he rolls on the ground in pain, but obviously not in as much as Jericho. He finally covers: 1…2…3NO!!!!! Only 2! Superstar is as frustrated as ever, and he jumps onto the truck bed in a hurracanrana attempt…but Jericho catches him and powerbombs Superstar onto the broken pallet! Jericho doesn’t cover, but slowly gets up, runs to the truck, and uses it as a springboard…LIONSAULT!!!!!!!!!!! Cover: 1…2…. 3NO! 2.99999!!!!!!!!!! Jericho can’t believe that Superstar is still alive! Both men catch their breath on the ground as multiple replays are shown. Superstar picks himself up using a nearby limo…but as Jericho charges, he flapjacks him right onto the car, on Jericho’s injured ribs!!! Superstar rams Jericho’s ribs into the car again, before executing a rollup with the tights: 1…2…NO!!!!!!!! Superstar grabs a table from a stack, sets it up, and beats on Jericho.

 

Jericho tries to make a comeback, but Superstar cuts it off with a boot to Jericho’s ribs! As he screams in pain, Superstar sets him up for the Star Power II into the table! However, because of his injured back, he can’t lift Jericho! Y2J takes over with a low blow and sets Superstar up…POWERBOMB THROUGH THE TABLE! HE HOOKS THE LEGS…WALLS OF JERICHO!!!!! SUPERSTAR IS IN TREMENDOUS PAIN! HE’S TRYING TO FIGHT AND/OR REVERSE THE PRESSURE, BUT IT’S TOO MUCH!! HE’S SLOWLY LOSING IT AND…SUPERSTAR TAPS OUT! SUPERSTAR TAPS OUT!!!!!

 

Winner: Chris Jericho in 24:31 via the Walls of Jericho

 

Post match, both men are helped backstage and immediately get medical attention. They are both bleeding buckets and we cut back to the present with JT Wheeler.

 

JT: Like I said, fans, the athleticism displayed there was unparalleled. What a truly classic and bloody brawl that match was. I believe we have an interview set up with the injured Superstar.

 

SS (in pain): Yeah JT…I’m here. And let me tell you this…Jericho, you pretty much broke my freakin’ back in that match. We both killed each other out there, and I respect that. You went toe to toe with me, and you won. It was definitely one of my best matches ever. Looking back at it, despite the pain as it caused, I loved it. I’d like…to thank you. Now as for…

 

Suddenly, Eskimo, Angle-plex and Jingus enter the scene.

 

SS: Oh, hey guys.

 

ME: Shut the hell up. You *RESPECT* Jericho? You’re *THANKING* JERICHO? Worst of all…

 

AP: …You *LOST* to Jericho? What is WRONG with you? I am the OAOMEF Champion. I epitomize everything that is right with this company. YOU represent what is WRONG.

 

SS: Now wait. Did you guys see the same match I did? I went 25 minutes with Jericho in a bloodbath. Can you blame me?

 

JINGUS: That…is no excuse.

 

JINGUS then grabs Superstar by the throat and begins to choke him as AP BELTSHOTS Superstar! The three men destroy The Superstar before Jingus DEVILBOMBS SUPERSTAR THROUGH THE TABLE and MME locks on the Frostbite Facelock as security breaks up the scene.

 

MME: Your services in the OAOMEF…ARE NO LONGER NEEDED.

 

The three walk off laughing as Superstar gets even more medical attention.

 

JT: BAH GAWD! WHAT-WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED! THE OAOMEF COMMISIONER- FIRED! MAH GAWD!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

JT: Welcome back... myself and the crowd are still in shock over the dismissal of Superstar from the OAOMEF. I'd like to take this oppurtunity to thank Superstar for his hard work and a great match with Jericho. I don't know what that damn Eskimo is up to...

 

OAOMEF Cruiserweight Title

Shark Boy vs ?

 

JT: Reject was slated to be the challenger for the title, but he has withdrawn in order to prepare for the big tag match later tonite! The OAOMEF team has been searching for a challenger, I hope they've been succesful!

 

Shark Boy runs out to the ring, hi-fiving fans and giving the shark salute to big pops! He bounces off the ropes, awaiting his challenger.

 

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!

 

JT: BAH GAWD, TRIPLE H! TRIPLE H IS HERE! HE'S RECOVERED FROM HIS TORN QUADRACEPS! WHAT A STUD!

 

HHH: I uh heard there uh was a title uh that I hadn't won uh, so I uh slimmed down to meet the uh weight class, and uh now uh, Shark Boy, I'm uh going to show you uh why I am that uh damn good!

 

The OAOMEF crowd goes TO SLEEP~! during HHH's promo, and only wake up when Shark Boy planchas out of the ring and onto HHH! Shark Boy throws HHH back into the ring, goes up top and hits the DSD! 1,2, NO! HHH kicks out! Sharky bounces off the ropes and nails Trips with a springboard guillotine leg drop, 1,2, NO! HHH gets up and bumps the ref! Another ref runs out, and gets bumped! Another ref runs out, and gets bumped! A fourth ref runs out, and gets bumped!

 

A pile of referees gradually accumulates in the ring.

 

Shark Boy hits HHH with a Pedigree! Its over! But OMG, no ref! Suddenly KEVIN NASH comes running...er...limping out! Nash eventually gets into the ring and hits Sharky with the JACKKNIFE POWERBOMB! HHH covers, Nash pulls of his shirt to reveal a ref's shirt, 1, 2 ,3!

 

Winner, and NEW Cruiserweight Champion, TRIPLE H! via Nash interference in 5.22

 

JT: MAH GAWD! WHAT JUST HAPPENED! HOW DID HHH BECOME A CRUISERWEIGHT!

 

Nash is on the mic: Earlier today, I spoke to my good friend, the OAOMEF commisoner, the Superstar!

 

Crowd BOOOOOOOOOOOS!

 

Nash: And he kindly allowed Hunter to compete in this match! This is only the first step towards our domination of the OAOMEF! All you vanilla midgets will be HELD DOWN, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!

 

JT: BAH GAWD! NASH AND TRIPLE H! TRIPLE H AND NASH! BAH GAWD!

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

We return to find JINGUS stalking the corridors of the OAOMEF backstage area. In just moments, he faces X champion Brock Lesnar for the No 1 contendership to the OAOMEF World Title. JINGUS turns a corridor and stops. The camera pans round to see what JINGUS sees, and there stands Paul Heyman! JINGUS growls and approaches Heyman, who yelps and runs to hide. JINGUS runs after him, only for BROCK to leap out from nowhere and give JINGUS the F5 onto the hard floor! Heyman laughs as he and Brock leave JINGUS out cold on the mat.

 

Eskimo and Angle-plex are watching a reply of the Hell in A Cell in Eskimo's office.

ThunderKid and Reject are arguing again in the locker room.

 

OAOMEF World Title No 1 Contendership

USTV Champion JINGUS vs X Champion Brock Lesnar

 

JT: The USTV and X titles are NOT on the line here tonite, this is all about that shot at Angle-plex.

 

Brock Lesnar walks out to his theme accompanied by Paul Heyman.

 

The crowd anxiously awaits the arrival of JINGUS, but after a couple of minutes there is no sign of him.

 

JT: That F5 may have put JINGUS out of this match. I hope-

 

Verdi's 'Reqium' plays and JINGUS storms his way to the ring as the crowd goes WILD for the Devilman! JINGUS goes after Heyman and gives him a Hellbuster onto the floor! But Brock attacks from behind and throws JINGUS in the ring. The bell sounds and the match is on.

 

Brock continues on the offensive, stomping a mud hole in JINGUS, before picking him up! for a powerslam that gets 2. Brock celebrates but JINGUS does the zombie sit up and clotheslines Lesnar to the mat. JINGUS hits an elbow drop and a leg drop for 2. Heyman is struggling to get to his feet on the outside. JINGUS tries for a CLAWSLAM but Brock powers out and looks for the F5, but JINGUS escapes and nails Brock with a monstrous dropkick!

 

JT: BAH GAWD, JINGUS just used a dropkick! This hoss is AGILE!

 

JINGUS gives Brock a DDT that gets two. Heyman is up onto the apron and distracts JINGUS, allowing Brock time to get up and nail JINGUS in the back of the head. Brock slaps on the BEARHUG OF DOOM~! but JINGUS totally no-sells, standing quite calmly as Brock hugs him. After a minute or so in the hold, JINGUS gets bored and reverses the hug into a shoulderbreaker. JINGUS covers, 1,2, no, Lesnar kicks out. JINGUS grabs Lesnar up but Lesnar rakes the eyes and gives JINGUS the belly to belly suplex, for a 2 count. Heyman gets up on the apron and hands a chair to Brock, which the ref tries to take off him. JINGUS is up and pushes Lesnar into Heyman, the chair hitting both men. Heyman hits the guard rail outside and Brock falls into the grasp of JINGUS, who hits the DEVIL BOMB! JINGUS covers, 1, 2 BROCK KICKS OUT! JINGUS and the crowd are SHOCKED!

 

JT: LESNAR IS A MONSTER! BAH GAWD!

 

Lesnar is getting up, but JINGUS gives him a droopy dog one arm slam back to the mat. JINGUS goes to cover, but Heyman is interfering again and distracts the ref. JINGUS picks up Brock and hits a back breaker before putting Brock in his own BEARHUG OF DOOM~! Brock screams in pain as JINGUS starts to crack his ribs. JINGUS breaks three ribs before slamming Brock to the mat. JINGUS takes a moment to roar and pose, allowing Lesnar time to drag himself to his feet and, in desperation, go for the kick to the balls! Inevitably, it connects and JINGUS goes down in a heap. Brock drags him into the corner and goes up top!

 

JT: THE WWEEEEEEEEE WONT LET BROCK DO THE SHOOTING STAR, BUT THE OAOMEF WILL!

 

Brock leaps off with the SHOOTING STAR PRESS~! but JINGUS rolls out of the way! Brock bounces back up almost straight away but JINGUS catches him into a CLAWSLAM! JINGUS falls to the mat, still holding his groin. The ref checks on him, and dosnt see Paul Heyman attempting to revive Brock. Lesnar stirs and Heyman hands him the X title belt. Brock gets up and tries to swing for JINGUS, but he ducks and then kicks the belt into Brock's face! JINGUS moves in and gives Brock the Devilbomb onto the belt! Brock's head bounces off the title. Cover, 1, 2, 3!

 

Result: JINGUS via belt assisted DevilBomb in 9.44

 

JT: JINGUS is the No 1 contender! BAH GAWD, Angle-plex will have his hands full with that monster!

 

Backstage, Angle-plex is watching on a monitor, a strangely pleased look on his face. He nods and leaves.

 

Mystery Eskimo is in his office, talking to a group of OAOMEF writers.

 

Writer 1: We *have* to go for soap opera storylines! It's where the ratings are, Vince says so! Here, check this out - a story in which Angle-plex turns out to be a woman who used to be a man, who has sex with dead goats!

 

Eskimo: Er....anyone else?

 

Writer 2: How about JINGUS has a wife, and she cheats on him with Rikishi?

 

Eskimo: ....sigh....

 

Writer 3: How about Thunderkid and Reject are secretly long lost brothers? Who have incestual gay sex?

 

Eskimo: ....

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Guest Mystery Eskimo]

MAIN EVENT

OAOMEF World Tag Titles[

Thunderkid & Reject vs Mystery Eskimo & Angle-plex

 

JT: This match is a huge one for all 4 competitors. Who will walk away with the tag titles, and will Thunderkid get a shot at Angle-plex?

 

"Ice Ice Baby" plays and Eskimo walks to the ring, getting abuse from the fans for his firing of Superstar.

"Smack my bitch up" blasts out and OAOMEF World Champion Angle-plex struts out, posing with the belt. Eskimo starts to look a little pissed at AP's posturing, but shrugs and shakes with AP as he gets into the ring.

 

"God of Thunder" plays as Thunderkid appears, looking angry.

"Lose Yourself" hits and Reject walks out, coming to stand next to TK. They start to argue, getting in each others faces, allowing Eskimo and Plex to slide out of the ring and nail them with stereo german suplexes onto the floor! ME and AP throw their opponents into the ring and the bell rings.

 

JT: Thunderkid and Reject have *got* to show better team work than that if they're going to stand any chance against Eskimo and Angle-plex.

 

Eskimo and AP bounce TK off the ropes and nail him with stereo dropkicks. They then throw him back out of the ring and Eskimo starts the match with Reject. ME with stomps to the back of the head of Reject, followed by a knee. Eskimo goes for the Frostbite straight away but Reject escapes and hits a basement dropkick to the leg of ME. Reject tries to suplex ME, but Eskimo reverses it for a 2 count. ME tags in AP, who immediately hits Reject with a german suplex, followed by a Northern Lites suplex for 2. AP tags ME back in, and ME nails Reject with the Penguin Kick! 1, 2, no, Reject kicks out. Thunderkid is back on the apron, so ME whips Reject across the ring, and he crashes into TK!

 

JT: That's not going to help team morale, bah gawd!

 

TK falls to the outside again, and Reject turns round only to be clotheslined out over the top by Eskimo! TK and Reject start to argue on the floor and almost come to blows, but instead Reject climbs back into the ring. He locks up with ME and gains the advantage with a side headlock. Eskimo pushes him off but Reject comes back with a drop kick and leg drop that get 2. Reject goes up top, but TK slaps his leg and tags himself in! Reject is furious as TK goes to work on Eskimo, and almost launches himself at TK, but restrains himself.

 

JT: Reject wants to take control of those tag titles...but for how long can he refrain from attacking TK?

 

Thunderkid plants Eskimo with a short powerbomb that gets 2 before AP saves. TK sets for the THUNDERBOLT DDT but Eskimo escapes and hits a KILLERWHALEPLEX! And another! 1, 2, Reject breaks it up! Eskimo goes to attack Reject, allowing TK to jump up and nail him from behind. TK throws Eskimo into the corner next to AP, and beckons Angle-plex into the ring.

 

JT: Thunderkid only wants to pin Angle-plex, to get that World Title shot.

 

AP tags himself in and ducks a couple of punches from TK, then hits the Kid with a DDT for 2. AP looks for the ANKLELOCK but TK scrambles for the ropes. AP lets him up but TK rakes the eyes and gives AP a snap suplex. Reject wants the tag but TK ignores him and covers AP for 2. Another cover for 2. Another just gets 1.

 

JT: Thunderkid desperate to get the pin on Angle-plex, but he's losing control here!

 

TK gets pissed and shoves the ref, who shoves him back into the arms of Angle-plex, who goes for the Angle-plex, but TK blocks it. The Kid begins to chop at AP, who is rocked back, but as TK whips AP off the ropes, AP is able to tag in Eskimo, who clotheslines TK to the mat. Eskimo locks in the Frostbite on TK, but Reject comes off the top with a FROG SPLASH to the back of Eskimo, which breaks the hold! TK is hurt by the move too, and rolls out of the ring. Reject takes on both ME and AP, dropping them with dropkicks and then nailing ME with a standing moonsault, but the ref refuses to count as TK is the legal man! AP is up and hits Reject with a belly to back suplex. TK jumps back into the ring and hits a springboard hurricanrana onto AP! The ref tries to restore order by forcing Reject out of the ring, but Reject leaps over the refs shoulder and tags himself in on the shoulder of TK. TK is now forced onto the apron.

 

JT: Non-stop action here fans, which team is going to be the stronger with so much on the line?

 

Eskimo and Reject start exchanging punches. ME gains the upperhand, but when he goes for the Penguin Kick Reject ducks. ME almost hits AP, who glares at Eskimo and tags himself into the match!

 

JT: Now Eskimo and Angle-plex are having problems!

 

Immediately AP and Reject go at it with flurries of punches, with Reject getting the upperhand. Reject with a spin kick to the stomach of AP, followed by TOTAL REJECTION! Reject covers, 1,2, NO, THUNDERKID breaks it up! The tag champions start to argue furiously, and then brawl! Eskimo charges into the ring and in the confusion the referee gets bumped when Eskimo whips TK into him! Reject tries to rana Eskimo, but ME powerbombs him. Eskimo then grabs one of the tag titles, pulls Reject up and hits the Blizzard Bomb onto the belt! Another ref comes running down to the ring.

Thunderkid sees the fallen AP, pulls him up and hits the THUNDERBOLT DDT!

 

Eskimo covers Reject, TK covers AP.

 

The first ref gets back up and slides into the ring. The new ref slides in too on the opposite side of the ring. They both count, 1, 2, 3!

 

DING DING DING!

 

JT: WHAT? WHO WON? MAH GAWD! WHAT THE HELL?

 

The two refs look at each other. They start to argue.

 

JT: The legal men were Angle-plex and Reject, the men who were pinned!

 

The refs continue to argue, and point at different men. All 4 competitors are up and the fighting looks to be starting again, until "Just got wicked plays" and SUPERSTAR appears on the ramp!

 

SS: You bastards may have beaten me, you may have fired me, but until the end of tonite I am STILL the OAOMEF commisioner, and I'm going to make my final ruling on this match!

 

The crowd POPS!

 

SS: As the legal men were BOTH pinned, I'm declaring that your new OAOMEF tag champions are ANGLE-PLEX AND MYSTERY ESKIMO!

 

AP and ME look shocked but grin.

 

SS: BUT, as Angle-plex was pinned also, I'm declaring that THUNDERKID is also the winner, and he gets the shot at the OAOMEF world title! Next week, it will be Angle-plex vs Thunderkid vs JINGUS for the OAOMEF world title, Eskimo is barred from ringside, I'm out of here!

 

SS disappears as Angle-plex and Eskimo jump out of the ring to pursue him. In the ring Thunderkid and Reject face each other, and look to be starting another brawl until security floods the ring, seperating the two men!

 

JT: BAH GAWD! WE'RE OUT OF TIME! ANGLE-PLEX AND ESKIMO ARE NEW TAG CHAMPS, BUT THUNDERKID JOINS JINGUS AS NO 1 CONTENDER TO THE OAOMEF TITLE! THAT MATCH NEXT WEEK WILL BE A SLOBBERKNOCKER, BAH GAWD! I'VE BEEN JT WHEELER, UNTIL NEXT TIME!