apologies to kinetic

[Guest DeputyHawk]

picked up the kurt angle "it's true, it's true" paperback on sale yesterday and good god! not to make light of the man's personal tragedies, but the stuff about his family is just so vintage metal ed it's beautiful!

 

"they did an autopsy on my dad after he died and they said he lived through two heart attacks in his sleep that he never even knew he had. i remember one, i think - a night when he seemed to be flipping out on the couch. he fell onto the floor, holding his chest. of course he had been drinking, and i thought he was just drunk. he just got up, got back on the couch, and went to sleep - never said a word to anyone about it. my dad never went to hospital for anything, until he fell off his crane that day."

 

"he fell fifteen feet backward, landing on his head in a ditch. he got knocked out for a few minutes. later we learned he had cracked his skull in three different places and broke both his shoulders. yet he was so tough, he got up from that and walked to hospital by himself. three hours later he was in a coma."

 

"eric and i were the youngest by several years, and my three older brothers were always making us try to hurt each other. every friday night they would put boxing gloves on us and make us fight. they made it a show. they called it the friday night fights and invited their friends over to watch."

 

"my brother mark came to the rescue and wound up beating the crap out of all five of those guys. but during the fight, one of them stabbed him with a knife. he was so involved with the fight that he didn't even realise he'd been cut until it was over. at that point my sister told me that mark looked down and saw his own intestines oozing out of a gash in his stomach. he held them in his hands as he was rushed to hospital for treatment. later a doctor would tell us that the volkswagon he rode in to the hospital saved his life, as its small size kept him bunched up tight in the car."

 

the angle family rules! you just know that blood-stained volkswagon had a rock box.

[Guest Incandenza]

Were any mullets involved?

[Guest converge241]

*does a spit take*

 

hilarious

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

...**in sheer awe**...

 

That's one tough fucking family.

[Guest DeputyHawk]

Were any mullets involved?

while never directly mentioned, i believe later triple-h tells kurt's mother she has a mane like a clydesdale horse and then defecates on her. kurt thanks him profusely for teaching him about the business.

 

they are an unbelievably tough family, and as much of an arrogant ass as kurt occasionally comes off as in the book, i have a helluva newfound respect for him after reading it. he basically seems to be somewhat of a gullible fool who just happens to be one of the toughest and most naturally gifted amateur and pro wrestlers ever.

 

plus he had a homoerotic bonding moment with vince mcmahon at 30,000 ft.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

now if they only got Kurt's other two brothers in the WWE, they could have "The Angle Foundation"

 

Mark, David, Eric and Kurt (well.. Mark and David would make Kurt and Eric feud though)

[Guest DeputyHawk]

they had them all on the christmas 2000 raw to sing a song and get into a worked ringside brawl. kurt's brothers didn't know how to pull their punches so they just stiffed the dudley boyz, who stiffed them back. apparently bubba-ray was very lucky mark was restrained. in pittsburg, despite winning the gold medal and having a huge international profile, kurt is still very much just mark angle's little brother. he has some rep as a hard-ass.

[Guest Kinetic]

I never really considered any of this. I have read "It's True, It's True," however, so it must have seeped into my subconscious somehow. I was concerned about being labeled a Joe Dirt ripoff than any comparisons to Kurt Angle being made. Reports of Metal Ed beginning his Olympic training upon reading this can be neither confirmed nor denied.