Know Your Wrestling Euphamisms

[Guest Rob Edwards]

Credit Power Slam magazine

 

"This is an unortadox idea"

This idea doesn't make any sense

 

"Oh no! It was a setup all along"

The bookers don't have a clue what to do next, so they're turning everyone

 

"Theres no wasted motion in this match"

The wrestlers in this match don't know how to work a crowd

 

"He's a methodical competitor"

He's a boring competitor

 

"Theres no excuse for the downturn in business"

We've run out of excuses for the downturn in business

 

"I have absolutley no problem putting anyone in the company over under the right circumstances"

I'm not doing anymore jobs

 

"Everyone knows I'm a straight shooter"

I lie habitually

 

"I'd like to work as a booker one day"

My inring career is in the toilet

 

"Vince McMahon is a genius"

Please WWE, give me a job

 

"Vince Russo is a genius"

Russo tells me I'm in line for a push

 

"Our organisation features the greatest collection of talent under one roof in the history of the business"

We've just hired a bunch of washed up veterans

 

"I have experimented with steroids in the past"

I'm on the juice right now

 

"This kid has tremendous potential"

This kid is doing the job

 

"That was my last match. I am now definatley retired from wrestling forever"

I'm expecting an enormous ovation when I return on next weeks show

 

This company is great, the wrestlers are great, management is great, teh creative people are great. It is the best promotion I've ever worked for

My contract is up for renewal

 

"Damn that kid doesn't know how to work"

Damn that youngster is much better than me

[Guest AndrewTS]

"This is going to be a slobberknocker"/"This isn't going to be a match, this is going to be a fight!"/"This match will be extremely physical."

"This will be a shitty brawl."

 

"He's dictating the pace now"

He's a slow piece of shit bringing the match to a crawl.

 

"These competitors with contrasting styles..."

"Good wrestlers or not, this match will suck, sorry fans."

 

*Remark about Monday Night Football*

"I'm glad I'm taping football, because this show really sucks."

 

"you/he's not in my league-uh."

"Oh sure, my opponent is a better worker, more over than me, and people would pay to see him, but I'm either going to win anyway, or let him win a meaningless match before burying him and coming out on top anyway, so fuck you smarks!"

[Guest Special K]

"Theres no excuse for the downturn in business"

 

-No one's ever said this EVER.

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

"This is unprecedented!"

We haven't used this gimmick in 4 years.

 

"Smart strategy, trying to wear his opponent down with this move!"

They're tired.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

"OHMYGAWD"

Yawwwwwnnnn.....

 

"How do you learn to fall off a ladder? You can't!

Good thing he practiced THAT all day...

[Guest treble charged]

"Bowling shoe tendancy.

-Do yourself a favour, and change the channel.

[Guest converge241]

"whats the connection with Wrestler A and Wrestler B?"

 

this should have been obvious to you weeks ago because we announcers are just starting to ackowledge it

 

"This Rookie (insert anything after)"

 

we are burying him right away

 

"Monday night Football/The competion/etc is awful"

 

Please please please dont change the channel because they are kicking our ass

[Guest Nevermortal]

I actually did a Dictionary of JR's quotes...

 

Here it is:

 

'a heartbeat away'

- Used to describe a 2 count or other near fall.

 

'a hellacious/vile/satanic structure'

- Used to describe a Hell in a Cell/Steel Cage or any other type of gimmick match involving an erected prop.

 

'an auspicious way to kick off Raw'

- An exciting start to a show.

 

'and we aren't done yet'

- There's still more action to come. This phrase is usually said after an awesome match (eg: after Austin/HHH on No Way Out 2001, Rock/Angle was still ahead)

 

'as God is my witness'

- Used to put emphasis on a sick bump/move.

 

'at the top of the hour'

- An occurrance around 10:00PM on Monday nights.

 

'barbecue sauce'

- A hoss treat.

 

'big booger red'

- The Undertaker

 

'big heart'

- Usually used to describe smaller wrestlers.

 

'bleeding like a stuck pig/hog'

- Someone is bleeding profusely.

 

'bowling shoe ugly / bowling shoe tendencies'

- A shitty match has this quality.

 

'built some momentum'

- Get on a roll (a comeback)

 

'business is about to pick up'

- Something is about to get real exciting (usually if a prominent figure enters into an arena)

 

'busted wide open'

- Someone is bleeding.

 

'case of the limber tail'

- Usually when a heel is scared to face a mighty face, he might have this condition.

 

'catch-as-catch-can'

- A straight wrestling match.

 

'charlie-horsed the leg'

- A leg submission was applied.

 

'cheap shot'

- Hitting someone when they are down/from behind.

 

'chopping some meat'

- Chops to the chest.

 

'damn / damndest'

- Someone is trying their hardest.

 

'damn near broken in half'

- After a sick bump, this phrase will be uttered.

 

'damn you straight to hell'

- When a dastardly act has been committed, this phrase will be uttered. (Usually in protest to an act being done to one of JR's boys)

 

'dealing with some issues/demons'

- Usually, the demons in reference are drugs or alcohol.

 

'deep in the heart of Texas'

- Used to describe a Texan ("he was trained deep in the heart of Texas")

 

'disingenuous'

- Two-faced.

 

'echoing throughout the arena'

- A phrase usually uttered after a chair shot.

 

'educated feet'

- A wrestler who uses kicks has this quality (RVD).

 

'folks'

- The viewing audience.

 

'from where I sit'

- From his vantage point.

 

'get it on here tonight'

- A match/fight will occur tonight!

 

'good grief'

- An exclamation of annoyance.

 

'good God Almighty'

- After a sick bump/freak occurance, this phrase is uttered.

 

'goofier than a pet coon'

- Used to describe a wrestler who is a little crazy.

- Used to describe a wrestler after a chair shot/sick bump.

 

'government mule'

- Used to describe someone who is taking a beating.

 

'heinous'

- Vile.

 

'hellacious'

- Tremendous.

 

'hoss'

- A word used to describe a bigger, stronger wrestler, like Bradshaw. This wrestler usually plays football as well.

 

'in any event, up next...'

- A Transitional phrase.

 

'in my view'

- From his vantage point.

 

'in over 25 years in this business'

- Used to place importance on an event that usually never occurred before.

 

'jezebel'

- A heel valet.

 

'looks like a car-wreck'

- After a sick bump (usually involving many people/props), this phrase is uttered.

 

'more guts than brains'

- Used to describe when a wrestler wants to take on a fight he can't possibly win (like Spike Dudley trying to fight the Big Show).

 

'not for the weak at heart'

- Usually used to describe a match that may be bloody or excessively violent (Hell in a Cell is an example).

 

'pack of (wild) dogs'

- Used to describe a heel group.

 

'quicker than a hiccup'

- Used to describe a decidedly fast wrestler (Rey Mysterio).

 

'restaurant quality'

- Great. Opposite of bowling shoe ugly.

 

'runt of the litter'

- Smallest/Youngest Member of a Family (Spike Dudley)

 

'sadistic'

- One who enjoys imposing pain on another (HHH was sadistic when he used the Sledge hammer on Shawn Michaels after Summerslam 2002).

 

'scalded dog'

- After someone has perpetrated a dastardly act, they run like the afformentioned phrase.

 

'schedule / scheduled' (e.g. 'Stone Cold is not scheduled to be here tonight')

- They will be appearing later on.

 

'scintillating'

- Used to describe an aerial move (Five Star Frogsplash).

 

'second-generation athlete'

- A wrestler who's father wrestled before him (Eddy Guerrero).

- The extension of this would be a third generation athlete, someone like The Rock, Randy Orton, or Chavo Guerrero Jr.

 

'shades of the late/great' (comparing someone to a wrestler from the past)

- Emulating a move from a retired/old wrestler (Austin's Thesz Press).

 

'sick / sickening'

- Used to describe a chairshot/suplex/powerbomb, anything particularly destructive.

 

'slobberknocker'

- A wild, uncontrollable brawl.

 

'stomp a mud hole'

- To stomp your opponent repeatedly.

 

'stud'

- A hoss that draws money.

 

'sure as hell'

- To put emphasis on something that is solid, set in stone.

 

'taken to the woodshed'

- To be beaten up, especially after you have perpetrated some nasty deeds. Possibly after running like a scalded dog.

 

'technically sound'

- A technical wrestler.

 

'they learn to fall?'

- Used to describe a sick bump. This is more of a condescending phrase on people who say wrestling is fake.

 

'through hell fire and brimstone'

- When Kane arrives.

 

'tougher than a $2 steak'

- Used to describe a hoss.

 

'unlimited potential'

- They'll be a midcarder for a long time.

 

'vile'

- Heinous.

 

'weight issues'

- What Big Show, Mark Henry, and Rikishi all possess.

 

'who's your daddy?'

- A phrase uttered towards a heel after getting their comeuppance from a face.

 

'young pup'

- A rookie (Randy Orton).

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, its pretty crappy, but I did it in 30 minutes....so yeah..

[Guest AndrewTS]

Kut and pasted from Lethal Wrestling.

 

"The unstoppable force meets the immoveable object..."

 

Translation: There's two obese fucks, blowing up all over each other and performing rest holds.

 

"This is a real knock down, drag out affair..."

 

Translation: You wouldn't get a single technical move in this match if you prayed to every deity in every religion in the world.

 

"I can assure you, viewers, this is NOT on the format..."

 

Translation: Oh it's scripted, but if this lunatic fucks up don't blame me! (WCW Special)

 

"Wow, What a move!"

 

Translation: What the FUCK do you call that move… anyone? (Cole Special)

 

"He's being whipped like a Government mule...."

 

Translation: Triple H didn't get any last night so we fed him a jobber.

 

"SOUP BONES!"

 

Translation: Taker is attempting to prove he can still "go" by punching real fast.

 

"This is the greatest Nitro ever!"

 

Translation: This is Nitro. (Tony Shiavone)

 

"Who is that? He isn't under contract"

 

Translation: Ok, he's back. I hope he works out this time.

 

"Excellent move by Chris Benoit"

 

Translation: Any move done by Jericho (Jim Ross)

 

"He's stomping a mud hole and walking it dry!"

 

Translation: Stone Cold is resting on the ropes and softly kicking someone. (Jim Ross)

 

"Impromptu Match"

 

Translation: Cole's favorite thing to say so he doesn't have to look stupid when two wrestlers suddenly go at it and he doesn't know what to call. Believe me, there's no such thing as an impromptu match.

 

"Scalded dog"

 

Translation: He just blew up in 3 seconds, give him time to rest. (Jim Ross)

 

"In all my years in this great business"

 

Translation: Cool, finally something NEW Vince…

 

"I don't think he's going to win over too many fans King"

 

Translation: Hey stupid asses, BOO HIM! He's a f'n heel! (Jim Ross)

 

"His back could be broken Good God"

 

Translation: Jericho just blew another spot like a 2-dollar whore.

 

"(insert wrestler) is the best pure athlete in the WWE"

 

Translation: Hey, he sucks, but he's blowing Patterson so we have to keep him around.

 

"Business is about to pick up"

 

Translation: Vain attempt at putting over a mid-carder.

 

"THROUGH FARE AND BRIMSTOWNE!!"

 

Translation: I'm sorry you have to do something stupid again, Kane. I'll try to put you over anyhow. (Jim Ross)

 

"We have a new champion" (During a three count)

 

Translation: Yeah, right.

 

"Anything can happen in the WWE"

 

Translation: Vince just did some stupid shit again. (Jim Ross)

 

"What is the meaning of this ?"

 

Translation: Worst. Angle. Ever.

 

"He's one of the hottest superstars in WWE today."

 

Translation: Wont make it past the PPV.

 

"A hot prospect out of that fed down the road."

 

Translation: Get ready to be "Vinced" you WcW slime.

 

"J R have I told you how much I love puppies ?"

 

Translation: I'll get a laugh out of the internet yet! (Lawler)

 

"He's a true legend King"

 

Translation: Don't pay attention to the fact that he can't work his way out of a paper bag these days, let's live in the past.

 

"On any given night, any WWF superstar can beat any WWF superstar"

 

Translation: I'm desperately trying to disguise the fact that the outcome of this match is just about as predictable as night following day (copyright Bobby Heenan) ( <3 Chad ) >

 

"This match is not sanctioned"

 

Translation: It's no DQ. NO DQ. There's no sanctioned matches period, we are ACTORS. Stupid street fights…

[Guest deadbeater]

"Jackie is the toughest, Molly is the best wrestler, but Trish is champion!!"

 

Our current champion sucks, and in a real fight either Molly or Jackie uses her Trish's hair as a mop.