Wrestlemania II

[Guest bob_barron]

Wrestlemania II

 

This is the WM from three cities. Vince welcomes us to Wrestlemania and introduces us to Susan St. James. Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful. Mean Gene is from Chicago

 

Live from Long Island, NY. Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Susan St. James.

 

Team Piper is ready for the boxing match as Piper cuts a funny promo.

 

Paul Orndorff v. Don Muraco (w/Mr. Fuji)

 

Lockup- Muraco gets bodyslam but Orndorff kips up and gets a bodyslam as we get pre-recorded Orndorff comments. Lockup- Orndorff kicks his ass in the corner but Orndorff comes back and kicks his ass. Muraco tries to break an armbar but Orndorff holds on and works on arm. Muraco breaks and hammers away. Orndorff comes back with the elbows and they slug it out. They both fall to the outside for the double countout. Not bad match but horrible ending. *1/4 Huge bullshit chant

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- retired, Muraco is semi-retired

 

Mr. T cuts a really funny promo as Fink reads the decision to the previous match. Macho Man cuts a pre-match promo.

 

“Macho Man” Randy Savage (w/Elizabeth) v. George “The Animal” Steele for the WWF I-C Title

 

Macho runs from Steele and bails. Macho runs back in and bails again. Macho bails again, Steel chases him and they have a footrace. Animal catches up to him and bits him. Macho Man runs in but Steele picks him up and drops him. George kicks his ass but looks after Elizabeth and Savage ties him in the ropes and Savage works him over. Double axehandle- Steele kicks out with authority and Savage bails. Back in- Animal goes to work on him and chucks him out. Savage hides under the ring, comes back through the other side and attacks. Steele bites him but Savage goes to the eyes. Savage smacks him with flowers but gets bitten again and gets flowered.  Steele bites the turnbuckle and rubs some stuffing in Savage’s face. Savage bails and Steele runs after him but again talks to Liz and gets his ass kicked. Bodyslam, flying elbow…gets two.  Steele grabs his face and chucks him into the corner. Savage sneaks in and pins him with his foot on the ropes. Really bad match- Savage didn’t feel like carrying him. ¼* Steele bites another turnbuckle and chases the ref.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Holding up WWA for 5 mil, retired

 

In Chicago Mean Gene is with Bill Fralic and Big John Studd. A war of words results. Back in NY Vince and Susan St. James hype the next match.

 

Jake “The Snake” Roberts v. George Wells

 

Wells attacks too start but Jake chucks him out. He flies out but gets punched. Back in- Wells works him over. Powerslam-2. Jake thumbs the eye and bails. Wells chases him but gets caught coming back in. DDT. Pretty underwhelming effort by Jake. DUD Damien gets wrapped over Wells

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Snorting coke, no clue

 

Vince and Susan discuss last match. Video package of Piper-Mr. T.

In LA Jessie is with Hulk.

Fink brings out Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer. The judges for the fight are- Darryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy. The timekeeper is Herb from the Burger King ads.

 

“Rowdy” Roddy Piper (w/ “Cowboy” Bob Orton” and Lou Dova) v. Mr. T (w/ “Smoking” Joe Fraizer) in a boxing match

 

Round 1- I’d say Mr. T won it but it was pretty even.

Round 2- Piper knocks him down for eight. Piper kicked his ass whole round.

During the break- Bob Orton throws water at him.

Round 3- Mr. T knocks him down. Piper gets up and gets punched out of the ring. I’ll give this round to Mr. T

Piper chucks a stool at Mr. T.

Round 4-Piper knocks his mouthpiece out.  Piper bodyslams Mr. T and gets DQed. A big melee breaks out. The fight was pretty even- I’d give it to T though.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- XWF, 1-800-COLLECT

 

The NY portion is over and it sucked.

 

Live from Chicago. Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon, Mean Gene and Cathy Lee Crosby.

 

Fabulous Moolah v. Velvet McIntyre- Womens Title

 

Moolah kicks her ass but eats dropkicks. Velvet misses a crossbody and gets pinned. DUD

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Retired, ?

 

Nikolai Volkoff (w/ “Classie” Freddie Blassie) v. Cprl. Kirchner in a flag match

 

Nikolai sings the Russian anthem. Winner gets to wave their flag. ‘U-S-A’ chant. Nikolai attacks and stomps away and chucks him out. Brawl on the outside. Kirchner eats post. Kirchner fights back and the ref gets bumped. Blassie throws the cane but Kirchner catches it and bops him in the end. DUD- at least it was quick.  

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Volkoff was in gimmick battle royal, Kirchner was supposed to be but I don’t know what happened.

 

Chet introduces Mean Gene and its battle royal time. The timekeeper is Claire Peller and the refs are Dick Butkus and Ed “Too Tall” Jones. We got- Jimbo Covert (Chicago Bears), Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin (retired Dallas Cowboy), Danny Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Shiek, Ernie Holmes (retired Pittsburgh Steeler), B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic (Atlanta Falcons), Bret “Hitman” Hart, Jim “Anvil” Neidhart, Russ Francis (San Francisco, Bruno Sammartino, William Perry (Chicago Bears), and Andre the Giant.

 

20-man NFL/WWF Battle Royal- Ernie Ladd is on commentary. Covert and King Tonga (Haku) eliminate each other. Bruno gets Ernie Holmes. Andre and Studd go. Brunzell gone. Tony Atlas is gone. Studd and Perry are fighting and Andre is giving everyone a shitkicking. Morales and Harvey Martin eliminate each other. Three guys get Arcidi. Dan Spivey is gone and the Shiek gets Blair and Hillbilly Jim. Studd gets Fralic. Sammartino gets Shiek. Hart Foundation beat on Perry. Studd gets Bruno. Six left. Perry chucks both Hart Foundation out but they don’t go over. Studd gets Perry. Five left. Perry offers a handshake and Studd takes it and gets pulled out. Final 4- Russ Francis, Hart Foundation and Andre. Harts tie up Andre and beat up Francis. Harts get Francis. Harts beat on Andre but he kicks them both off. Andre beats up both Harts and kicks Neidhart out and gets Bret out. **1/4 This was a pretty cool concept but the battle royal was a little dull outside the elims

 

In NY Vince and Susan talk to Roddy. He makes fun of Mr. T. Funny stuff.

Mean Gene talks to a pissed off Jimbo Covert and Iron Shiek. Gorilla and Cathy Lee discuss what we just saw.

 

The Dream Team (w/Johnny Valiant) v. The British Bulldogs (w/ Cpt. Lou Albano and Ozzy Osbourne) for the WWF Tag Titles

 

We got 2 refs for this match. Davey Boy and Hammer start. Davey shoves him down but Hammer hammers away. DBS backs him into a corner, Hammer misses elbow and DBS works on the arm.  Hammer gets armdrag but misses whatever and DBS tags Dynamite. Dynamite rams him into turnbuckle for two. Dynamite shoulderblocks him and stomps away. Suplex- tag DBS. Hammer reverses suplex but can’t get it. DBS gets a suplex and pins him for two. Hammer bails. Back in- they lock up and Hammer works him over. Tag Brutus. Bruti works on the arm but DBS gets a press slam. Tag Dynamite. Dynamite gets knife-edge chop for two. Small package-2. Tag DBS. Perfectplex-2. Blind tag to Hammer and he comes off the top onto DBS. Suplex-2. Hammer drops an elbow and gets a chinlock. DBS comes back and tags Dynamite and they slug it out. Dynamite kicks the shit out of him. It gets two. They make some quick tags and a double team move gets two. Brutus runs in and beats up Dynamite. Sunset flip-2. Backbreaker- Brutus saves at two. Dynamite drops a knee-2. Hammer fights back and gets a wicked piledriver for two. He covers him again for two. Dynamite catches him in the balls. Hammer goes up top but gets slammed down. Brutus saves and we got a pier-4 brawl. Dream Team bail- Dynamite throws Hammer in and gets his ass kicked but is able to tag DBS. Running powerslam to Hammer gets only two. Suplex-2. DBS gets whipped into middle turnbuckle and Hammer stomps away. Chickenwing by Hammer and he tags Brutus. DBS blocks snapmare but gets slammed down hard on his arm. Brutus rams him into the corner and Hammer nails him from the to. Shoulderbreaker but Hammer pulls him up at two. DBS rams Hammer into Dynamite and gets the quick pin for the 3!!!! Major mark-out moment for me as Bulldog wins his first title in a pretty good match that was very un-formulaic. ***1/4 Crowd goes beserk. Mean Gene talks to Ozzy, Lou and Bulldog.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Dynamite Kid is in a wheelchair, DBS has personal problems and I think the Dream Team work indies.

 

The Chicago portion is over and it wasn’t that bad. Vince and Susan hype the LA portion.

 

Live from Los Angeles. Your hosts are Jessie Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes and Elvira. Well at least we got Jessie.

 

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat v. Hercules Hernandez

 

Herc attacks to start and kicks his ass. Steamer uses his speed and armdrags him all over LA. Steamer chops him and works on the arm. Steamer with a boot and more armdrags and works on the arm. Herc comes back and hammers away but Steamer uses his speed to take control. Suplex and Steamer goes back to the arm. Herc clotheslines the shit out of him. Herc works him over and gets a stungun. Herc hammers away. Steamer comes back with the chops but Herc bodyslams him for two. Herc lays in the forearms and rams Steamer into the turnbuckle. Herc drops the elbows and does an arrogant cover for two. Steamer comes back with some wicked chops but gets clotheslined for two. Herc covers again for two. Herc presses him twice. He goes up top but hits knees coming down and Steamer gets the flying bodypress. **

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- retired, ?

 

“Adorable” Adrian Adonis (w/Jimmy Hart) v. Uncle Elmer

 

I think Lee Marshall is the ring announcer. Elmer attacks Adnois to start and Adonis does a Flair Flip and falls out of the ring. Adnois goes flying out again on a shot. Elmer pulls the dress off and Adrian flies back in. Elmer shoves him and Elmer gets caught in the ropes. Adonis comes back but eats a splash from Elmer. Elmer misses splash. Adnois gets elbow off the top for the win. ¼* Adonis’ crazy selling and performance made this match above DUD

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- both these guys are dead

 

Lord Alfred is with Hulk. Hulkamania will run wild tonight.

 

The Funk Brothers (w/Jimmy Hart) v. JYD and Tito Santana

 

Hoss and JYD start. Hoss hammers away but JYD beats on both Funks. Chico Santana clears the ring of Terry. Tag Tito. Tito and Terry go. Terry chops away but almost goes flying out on a whip and goes flying out a clothesline. He dropkicks Hoss out. Tag JYD. JYD hammers away at Terry and rams him twenty times into the turnbuckle. Chico takes out Hoss and JYD chucks Terry out. Tag Hoss. Lockup- JYD tags Chico. Hoss uses the forearms on Tito but Tito hits the flying jalepeno- Terry saves. Tito and Hoss do a criss-cross that leads to Terry kneeing Tito making him face-in-peril . Jimmy keeps beating up Tito causing JYD to have to keep saving him. Tito reverses suplex and hits one of his own. Tito can’t make the tag and Terry tags Hoss who continues to lay in the punishment as the Funkers kick his ass. Tito plays catn-n-mouse with Terry and hot tag JYD who cleans house. Terry chokes him out with chain and JYD just chucks the shit out of him to the outside. HOLY SHIT! Terry gets slammed into a table by JYD. Katie bar the door. JYD nails Jimmy Hart and gets a small package for two. Tito gets figure-4 on Hoss. Jimmy Hart throws the megaphone to Terry who bops JYD with it.  Slow match but compensated with some crazy shit by Terry Funk. ***

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Terry works indies as does Hoss I think, JYD is dead and Tito I believe is pretty much retired

 

They set up the cage as we get a video package of Hogan-Bundy. Seeing Hogan train w/ Hillbilly Jim and his doctor his hilarious.

Jessie talks to Bundy and Brain. Elvira with cleavage sends it to Vince and Susan St. James. SSJ says Bundy has no chance.

 

Lee Marshall introduces the celebs. Tommy LaSorda is guest ring announcer, Ricky Schroder is timekeeper (to boos), Robert Conrad is guest referee.

 

Hulk Hogan v. King Kong Bundy (w/Brain) in a steel cage match for the WWF Title

 

Hogan has taped ribs. They hammer away at each other with Hogan kicking his ass. Bundy comes back and works on the ribs. Bundy goes for the door but Hogan grabs Bundy by the leg and slams him into the cage. Bundy again goes for the door but Hogan saves. Hogan rips off the tape and chokes him with it. He ties Hogan to the rope but Hogan unties himself and stops Bundy from leaving. Hogan comes back and hammers away. Bundy gets rammed into the cage and blades. Hogan chucks Bundy into the cage and chokes him on the top rope. Hogan tries to slam Bundy but he falls on top of him. Bundy tries to leave but Hulk comes back and chokes him out with tape. Bundy comes back and hits the avalanche and splash. Bundy tries to leave but Hogan stops him. Bundy hammers away and hits the avalanche but Hogan hulks up and slams him. He hits the legdrop and tries to leave but Bundy stops him. Hogan kicks him away and wins. *1/2- not bad considering the participants. Hogan beats up Brain post-match. Vince and Susan St. James wrap it up.  

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- WWF, semi-retired

 

The Bottom Line- Another ‘eh’ Wrestlemania but better than Wrestlemania I with some better wrestling. There’s not enough good stuff to recommend this card but wait till tomorrow where Wrestlemania III is upon us. The NY card sucks ass, the Chicago card is not bad and the LA card has one good match.

 

Recommendation to Avoid

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

Uncle Elmer is dead.

[Guest bob_barron]

thanks- i edited it.

[Guest goodhelmet]

Corporal Kirshener as working in Japan until he tried to kill some garbage wrestler with a board of nails. It was in Foley's book. He was working various indys last I heard.

[Guest Tony149]

This is going to sound stupid, but who is Susan St. James?

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

Susan St. James was the star of Kate & Allie.

[Guest Tony149]

Now I remember who that is. That show airs on Orpah's womens network.