No-Food Cooking

[Guest El Hijo del Homsar]

What do you eat when there's no food in the house? P.J. O'Rourke talks about this in the Bachelor Home Companion, but it wasn't until I started living on my own, without roommates to mooch emergency food from, that I realized how important it was to have a backup plan.

 

So, what are some of your favorite/standard "no food in the house" meals? You know, when you've been two busy to go to the store for a couple of weeks, and the food supply's looking sparse, but pizza's too expensive. My two stand-by emergency meals are the alleged quesadilla (two tortillas, cheese single, anything in the fridge that won't poison me or soak the tortillas, dry-fried for four minutes a side), and the unnamed tomato potion (one can of diced tomatoes, one can of lentils or black beans if they're around, drain and add everything left in the fridge (a great way to get rid of vegetables that have gone less than ideal), then cooked until it looks like some bastard hybird of chili and spaghetti sauce).

[Guest razazteca]

peanut butter & jelly or anything that can be made into a sandwich with white bread!!!

 

if it can't be nuked or deep fried then its time to worry.

 

Every eat a package of Ramon Noodles Dry?

[Guest T®ITEC]

My cousins used to eat raw Ramen Noodles all the time. They said it was quite the treat. No, they weren't saying that just to fool me.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

As a kid, we used to eat raw Chinese Noodles. They were pretty damn tasty, but the cooked version is still better.

[Guest Brian]

Since I generally always have vegetables, noodles, soy sauce, other condiments, vegetables, and maybe meat in the freezer stir fry or soup is no problem.

[Guest MaxPower27]

I almost always have bread and stuff to make a sandwich. Usually, I'll just put different things on a sandwich to see what will work.

 

Some ideas that worked:

 

Peanut Butter and Cheese

Jelly and Marshmallow Fluff

Jelly and Spicy Nacho Doritos

Fluff and slices of apple

 

Some ideas that didn't:

 

Peanut Butter and Cream Cheese

A frozen burrito and A1 sauce

Peanut Butter and Starbursts

 

 

Usually I have Frozen Chciken wings to slather in Tabasco and cook, but sometimes, you gotta improvise.

[Guest El Hijo del Homsar]

You guys are way more prepared than I am. I usually don't even keep track of the bread level until I (in the process of making lunch) notice that there isn't any, let alone keep frozen vegetables and the like stocked up. I usually end up looking at a Bulk Barn bag of millet that spilled in the cupboard, random canned goods (if I'm lucky) and Dan T's Inferno Chipotle Sauce (which is one of the only two things I NEVER run out of, navy rum being the other). Yes, I'm literally too useless to keep myself fed...the horrible meals I have to improvise remind me of that constantly.

[Guest El Hijo del Homsar]

I almost always have bread and stuff to make a sandwich. Usually, I'll just put different things on a sandwich to see what will work.

 

Some ideas that worked:

 

Peanut Butter and Cheese

Jelly and Marshmallow Fluff

Jelly and Spicy Nacho Doritos

Fluff and slices of apple

Peanut butter and onions is also surprisingly good, provided you use the kind of peanut butter with no (or minimal) sugar in it. Sweetened peanut butter is kind of harsh with onions.

[Guest dreamer420]

go to moms

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

My roomate ate dry ramen noodles. I thought he was crazy but remembered he was from Canada.

 

For me its a box of storebrand macaroni and cheese (minus the crappy cheese powder packet) and whatever I can find in the dry storage cabinet to make a casserole (Canned vegetables, tunafish, chicken, canned ham and then a half a jar of cheese or spaghetti sauce.) Also works with leftovers if you have them.. Takes less than 15 minutes to make, and its as easy as boiling pasta and opening a can or two.

 

I usually make this at least once a week and it provides enough food for at least 2 meals (lunch and dinner) and sometimes even lunch the next day.

[Guest redbaron51]

anything that wont kill me

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Peanut butter and sugar sandwich, with a glass of Kool Aid. As far as Ramen noodles go, is it honestly that hard to boil them for 2 minutes? I can't imagine eating them dry. Blech.

[Guest TheArchiteck]

Salads. Easy to make and tasty.

No dressing...just make one out of olive oil, salt & pepper. No olive oil....then tough.

[Guest Bricks]

Crackers and corn syrup.

[Guest welshjerichomark]

micro chips, cheese and bisto gravey

[Guest Ace309]

Ramen noodles are pretty good with alleged peanut sauce (creamy peanut butter and soy sauce, with whatever spices are handy).

[Guest treble charged]

Instant oatmeal (just add water and nuke) is a good late night snack. I swear, sometimes, I'll eat 5 or 6 bowls of it a night.