Crimson, October 31st!!!!

November 1, 2002

SJL Crimson Card, Thursday October 31

Arena: Fleet Center, Boston, Mass.

Due Date: 3pm Thursday, Eastern or whatever

Send To: Suicide King

OPENING PROMO

Matt Myers will discuss with us his thoughts and feelings on becoming the world champion of the entire SJL.

NO SHOW AND DIE MATCH

Spike Jenkins vs. Christian Fury

- Spike... Hello? Still with us? Anyway, if Spike no shows, bye bye to the JL for him. Cmon Fury, it's a default! Write!

- Match Description: Standard match - count outs and DQs in effect.

SINGLES MATCH

James Morin vs. Dace Night

- James was unable to get past Jack on his first night in the JL. However, that night is one more night of experience than Dace Night has. Amazingly, I didn't realize that pun until I wrote out Dace's name.

- Match Description: Standard match - count outs and DQs in effect.

SNGLES MATCH

Mike Van Siclen vs. Logan

- MVS, fresh after having a cry at losing to Judge, will go one on one against Logan. Here's hoping he doesn't use his antimadium claws.

- Match Description: Standard match - count outs and DQs in effect.

HARDKORE MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Jack The Ripper

- These two have been at each other for long enough. It's time that they kicked the shit out of each other. Hardkore stylingz too!

- Match Description: Anything goes. Pinfall/submission must happen in the ring. That's it.

EUROPEAN TITLE LADDER MATCH

Ejiro Fasaki © vs. Tim Dillon vs Wildchild

- In one of the most amusing promos I've seen, Ejiro accidently booked himself into a European title LADDER match against Tim Dillon and Wildchild. Funny. Should make for an awesome match.

- Match Description: Anything goes. Belts attached to a rope hanging high above the ring. Gotta use the ladder to get it. You know the drill.

November 1, 2002

KA-BOOM!

BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM!

NNNNEEEEERRRRR…KWPOW! And so fourth. The opening pyro BLASTS off to Crimson fire up, as the lights finally go on in the arena and the fans rise to their feet, holding up signs such as "MYERS SENTENCED THE JUDGE 4 LIFE!" and "LADDER MATCHES OWN!!!". The camera then goes over showing an eagle-eye view of the commentators for the night, Axis and The Suicide King.

"WELCOME ONE AND ALL, TO CRIMSON!" Axis proclaims, "I'm Axis, alongside The Suicide King here, and tonight is a night of glory. We have a NEW World Champion, and who would have thought King, who would have even guessed, that the man to take down Judge Mental, put an end to his streak of victories, and take his World Championship would be none other than Matt Myers?!"

"Well…I did," The Suicide King smirks, "I made 20 bucks off him last night. Also, rumors have been flying that Matt Myers, in the past few days has gone under…changes. Well, he's going to talk to us and tell us how he feels, and what's it like to be at the top of the mountain. Anyways, we've got a ton of great matches for you tonight, including Johnny Dangerous against Jack The Ripper in a match that's going to be brutal, yes a HARDCORE MATCH! This just may be the boiling point of their feud!"

"Don't forget, we've still got…" Axis starts, but he's cut off by…

"Ah…"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…"

"I'M IN OVER MY HEAD!"

"Over My Head" by Lit blats through the arena, as the crowd rises to their feet in a huge, huge pop! The arena darkens as a strobe light hits, and Matt walks out on to the entrance way, in street clothes. He's got a visor on backwards, with two spikes poked into it. He has jeans on with his trusty wallet chain. His hair is spiked, with blue tips, as he also has a shirt that says "Lit" on it, and his trusty World Title his hanging on his shoulder. As he walks down, Funyon announces him…

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN…MAKING HIS WAY TO THE RING, TO SPEAK HIS MIND ON HIS VICTORY OVER JUDGE MENTAL, MAY I PRESENT TO YOU, "THE PUNK ROCKSTAR" MATT MYYYYYYYYYEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSSS!" Funyon booms.

"The punk WHAT?!" The Suicide King says, "Axis, LOOK AT HIM!"

"Heh, who knows, I think it's cool," Axis says, "I think Myers looks better with this stuff on. He looks different!"

"But I mean…Punk…Rockstar?! Good lord, Axis, I HATE punk music, what the hell happened to Brother Red?!" The Suicide King pleads.

Matt snatches the microphone from Funyon, as the strobelight stops and the arena's lights return to normal. The crowd begins a "MYERS! MYERS! MYERS! MYERS!" chant, as he smirks at the crowd. Matt looks around at the sea of fans as he puts the microphone up to his lips and…

"What's up, BOSTON?!" Matt announces.

The crowd goes insane.

"Well, it's been a few nights since my World Title victory, and basically I've been parting ever since. But as I walked to the arena today, some of you gave me very…strange glances. Yes, indeed, Matt Myers has changed. He's no longer the evil-thriving Brother Red, but a PUNK…ROOOOOCKSTAR!" Matt booms.

"Yes…we know…BUT WHY?!" The Suicide King yells. Matt turns around and looks at the announce table, as he begins speaking again.

"Why you ask, Kingy my friend…well…let me explain," Matt says, as he pauses, "Mere hours after I won the title, I went back to my hotel room. As I held that belt in my hand, tears flowed down my cheeks. Ah, yes, I had finally reached my goal, I was the WORLD CHAMPEEEN!"

The crowd explodes.

"But. That gold showed my reflection. And what I saw was that…" Matt pauses.

…

"Was that GOOD LORD! I needed a haricut!"

"A…haircut?!" The Suicide King says, "He's joking…RIGHT?!"

"So after a fight to where I was to Boston, I went and found the best salon in all the city! So I sit down in the chair, and she asks, what do you want? Well, that's quite a queston, because I asked for something compety different and out of control, and I get THIS!" Matt announces, as he points to the top of his head, "And from there on, it was all elementary, my dear. The clothes, the attitude and all…I feel reborn, almost. Anyways, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the arena, I saw this dog and I thought it would be funny to…"

All of the sudden, Matt is cut off by the arena darkening and a lone blue spotlight shining on the entrance way…

"I shut 'em down…"

The lights go down all over the arena as the sounds of "Shut 'Em Down" by LL Cool J begin to pulse throughout the arena. Matt Myers' face turns toward the ramp, where a stone-faced Mike Van Siclen stands, microphone in hand. He stops about halfway down the ramp, looking down at the ramp and then picking his head up, staring straight at Myers. The World Champion stands in the ring, a confused look on his face, as Mike lifts the microphone to his mouth.

"Matt, do me a favor and STUFF IT!" Mike booms. The crowd gives Mike a very negative reaction, as Matt is almost taken back by the comment, "What you don’t seem to realize, is that you come out here. You talk about how you are the World champion. You are a punk rockstar. You listen to Catch 22. Good for you, but maybe you should tell these people about what they want to hear about, that being your title victory."

"Mike, if you would…" Matt starts, but Van Siclen cuts him off.

"Shut the FUCK up…" Mike rages, eliciting a surprised boo from the crowd. Matt’s somewhat bored look turns into an evil glare as Van Siclen goes on. "I’m not done, boy, but I am a nice person. I’ll give you some time, Myers, why don’t you tell these people what really happened? Remember, Myers… the truth may hurt, but it will set you free."

Matt pauses, as he starts taking again, "Set free, Mike? The only thing that’s been set free out here is shit from your ass!"

The crowd lets out a giant laugh, as Matt laughs as well. Mike does the slow burn as Matt goes on, "And also, if you want me to talk about my title victory, fine, I will. First off, I feel great to have this title. Ever since I came to this league more than a year ago I dreamed about having this, and look where I am. I can say I'm honored to hold the belt some JL greats have held…The Hville Thugg…Fallout…Renegade…just to name a few. Second off, Mike doesn't have this title. This is the only title he hasn't had, and if he thirsts for it, he can come and get it, after winning a number-one contendership match or sucking a cock or something…"

Mike laughs condescendingly, the laugh not meeting his eyes as he looks at Matt coldly, his face a forced and sarcastic smile. "What’s the matter, Matt? You don’t remember? Trick or treat, Matt, the game’s over. Don’t you remember the twenty-seventh? Your locker room, boy? What was it…" Mike raises his voice a bit, mocking Myers. “Oh, I remember now. Something like ‘If you help me beat Judge Mental, I’ll give you a title shot!’”

Matt looks back at Mike, his smile fading as takes a gulp of saliva. He looks out at the crowd, but they are busy harassing Mike.

"Remember now, Matt? Whatsa matter, Matt? You don’t remind me of Fallout now, or the Hville Thugg now. Hell, son, you’re barely a Kamen Roja." Mike chuckles. "Well, you do owe me a shot… how about a Who…”

"Mike, shut THE FUCK up…" Matt says. The crowd goes insane as he begins talking some more, "You seem to have forgotten the other stipulation… remember, that room that seems to mean the world to you?"

Mike cocks his head, as he waits for Matt's next words.

"Yes, loyal fans, it's true. Matt Myers has made a deal with the devil, and now he must pay his dues. But, Mike. We made a deal, and we have to stick by it. You'll get your title match all right, but you also said that I can pick ANY STIPULATION I WANTED!" Matt says, "And I've decided. It's going to be…my FAVORITE match. My… SPECIALITY match…"

Mike looks out at the crowd, as they slowly rise to their feet.

"…My…trademark match…"

"Matt has a trademark match?" Axis questions, "What is it?"

"It's going to be…A WALLET CHAIN FROM HELL MATCH!" Matt booms. The crowd goes insane, not really knowing why, but hell, face-talk = mad poppage! Mike stares at Matt, the joke either a) going over his head or b) not funny. Most likely the latter.

"Matt, I’m ashamed to have made a deal with you.” Mike snickers a bit as the crowd berates him, but ignores them and goes on. “Wallet Chain from Hell, aye? Let’s hear it… I may as well get the rules so I can have some idea of how I’m beating you.”

"Oh, no, no joke, my friend!" Matt says, "You see, take a look at my pants. You see that wallet chain there? Well, imagine it TEN FEET LONG! From there, it's an average chain match, only this wallet chain is thin. Thin like piano wire. So if it breaks, don't be surprised! It's no disqualifications, no count-outs, just pin falls or submissions. Well, Mikey, from here on it's take it or leave it. What do ya say?"

Mike pauses, as he looks away, obviously thinking of the match, he begins pacing around the entrance ramp. He then looks back up at Myers.

“Shot’s a shot, Matt, and a deal’s a deal.”

The crowd explodes.

"But I hope you remember, Matt, how you smiled in that locker room, looking like a kid in a candy store. ‘Gee, Mr. Van Siclen, will you really help me become World champion?’”

Mike glares out, all business, and Myers looks back, obviously wanting to know what is to come.

“Guess what, Myers… the game’s over. Your reign? It’s ticking away. You remember, the Wizard of Oz?”

Mike pulls out a tiny hourglass from his pocket. He stares at it, holding it up to the crowd, as hey look at him with wonder.

“See this, Matt? Every grain is one less moment you have with the title. Every moment… leads closer to Mike Van Siclen… World champion. I wanted you as champion, Matt… but not because you deserve it. You do not deserve to be mentioned in the same BREATH as Hville Thugg… hell, you barely deserve to be in the same breath as Sydney Sky.”

The crowd absolutely EXPLODES in boos, and Myers glares at Van Siclen, who stands on the ramp with a tiny smirk on his face.

“I knew this, Matt, and I knew that you have neither the talent nor the desire that I have. So congratulations. You’re the champion.”

Mike holds up the hourglass again.

“Watch them fall, Myers… these grains, falling to the bottom? That’s going to be you. Four days, Matt… four days. This is what I say, Matt, and don’t forget… what I said.”

"Shut 'Em Down" by LL Cool J blasts all throughout the arena as Mike tosses the mic to the side. He looks at Myers, pointing to the belt around the Punk Rockstar’s face and then pointing at his waist, smiling a bit. The camera shifts to a view of Myers, who is rolling out of the ring, pointing at his belt as if to say “It’s Mine.”

"Well, WOW! A Wallet Chain From Hell match!" Axis says, "It won't be tonight, probably sometime in the future, but this match is going to prove to be brutal. It's a regular chain match, all except the chain is a wallet chain, thin and can easily be broken in two!"

"Heh, I can’t wait to see MVS tear Matt up with that wallet chain," The Suicide King says, "Matt truly will deserve it, after making a deal with Mike and trying to play his way out of it. How rude. Anyways, folks, change the channel and I'll kill you because we've got a great night ahead of us. Stay tuned, folks!"

The camera then zooms in on Matt Myers holding his belt up in the air as he's walking up the entrance ramp, as it fades to black…

November 1, 2002

(The cameras come back on as the Boston crowd goes nuts, screaming their heads off, and jumping up and down onto one another. The camera pans across random home made signs, "Judge was Screwed,” "I Am a PunK,” "Ejiro will climb the ladder to the Hospital,” "I Wish Frost Was Here,” and "We <3 TBS!". The camera goes over he fans some more, and finally cut down to The Suicide King and Axis!)

Axis: Hello mates! Axis here, along side . . .

Suicide King: Hold on Axis. I think I am capable of saying my OWN name.

Axis: Ok..

Suicide King: My name is . . .

Axis: The Suicide King!

Suicide King: You have to take the fun out of everything, don't you?

Axis: It's a pleasure I have. Anyway folks. We have ONE HELL OF A CARD FOR YOU! In the main event tonight, in a triple threat ladder match, we have . . .

Suicide King: Ejiro Fasaki taking on Wildchild AND Tim Dillion!

Axis: So are we even now?

Suicide King: For now.

Axis: Just a few moments ago, the NEW SJL World Champion came out here and said a few interesting words . . .

Suicide King: What did he say?

Axis: Well, I, uhh, HEY LOOK! A Bald Eagle!

(The whole arena fills with the sound, as the not-quite-so-sold-out-but-almost-because-this-is-the-JL-and-not-the-WF arena turns their heads to the left, looking for the bald eagle that Axis said was just there. They all turn back to Axis, and boo.)

Axis: I was only kidding!

Suicide King: Well, also tonight. Johnny Dangerous takes on Jack the Ripper in a Hardcore Match!

Axis: Also tonight . . .

(Before Axis could finish his sentence, he is stopped by the lights in the arena going off. The rip of a guitar is heard throughout the arena, as the metal beats of "King of your Own World" by Smugface starts up, playing over the loudspeaker.)

Axis: (sarcastically) Oh yeah. This guy is back . . .

King: I love this guy. Spike Jenkins is one of the best pure talents in the SJL.

Axis: Well, last time we saw him, he went Two for Five against Judge Mental for the World Title in a Three out of Five falls match.

King: Spike Jenkins pinned the World Champion twice in one night. He should be the World Champion, not Matt Myers!

Axis: Matt Myers wasn't even the World Champion then.

King: Still. Spike Jenkins would NEVER have lost the title to someone as low as Matt Myers.

Axis: What is wrong with Matt Myers?

King: Well, that was his first win in about a month. And it was a fluke!

Funyon: This match is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit. First, coming to the ring, from Hollywood, California, weighing in at Two Hundred and Twenty pounds, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins!!!!!

(Gold pyro begins to shoot out from under the stage, as "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins walks out from behind the entrance curtain, and steps into the pyro. After several seconds of psyching himself up, he breathes some of the pyro through his mouth, and exhales through his nose, with smoke covering most of his face. Spike walks out from the pyro, as it slowly dies down behind him. Spike walks down the ramp, wearing a Jalen Rose Chicago Bulls jersey, causing the whole arena to fill up with boos toward Hollywood. Spike passes by some of the members of the audience in the front row, taunting them by pointing at his jersey with a big smile on his face, and as if shooting a basketball.)

Axis: Now that is just blatant disregard for these Boston fans.

Suicide King: I think this is hilarious.

Axis: Please. Spike Jenkins is such a arrogant loser.

Suicide King: No, he isn't. He's the King! Well, besides me at least.

(Spike walks up to the steel steps, and climbs onto the ring apron. Spike steps through the ring ropes, and poses as the crowd boos him. Spike walks over to the ropes, and is handed a microphone.)

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: Spike Jenkins says hello to all the Hollywood fans out there! Now, I know most of you are wondering, why I am wearing a Jalen Rose jersey. Well, I will tell you why. Spike Jenkins was sitting front row for that game yesterday. And after the Boston Celtics made an embarrassing showing against the Bulls, Jalen Rose came up to me, and he goes "Spike Jenkins. You really are the greatest wrestler in the SJL. I want you to have this." Then, Jalen Rose took off his jersey, and gave it to me. Spike Jenkins felt so honored, that Spike Jenkins knew Spike Jenkins had to wear it tonight. I mean, after a game he put up. It was amazing. I know he played the Celtics, which we all know isn't THAT GREAT of a team, but he still deserves some credit. Well, really, they aren't great at all. Or good, or mediocre. They just plain stink. But anyway, Jalen Rose scored Twenty-One points. That is amazing. But, if I was in the NBA, I probably would of scored Twenty-Two points. But hey, that's just "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins for ya....

(Before he could say anything else, "Aerials" by System of a Down starts up, cutting Spike off mid-sentence. The lights stay on and nothing happens, as Christian Fury walks out on crutches, and a man in a suit walks out behind him.)

Funyon: Coming to the ring, from Cleveland, Ohio. Weighing in at Two Hundred and Twenty-Seven pounds, Christian Fury!!!!

(The crowd cheers a bit, as Christian and the man in the suit make it towards the ring. Christian walks up to the ring, removing the crutches from under his arms, and pushing them under the bottom into the ring, soon following them. Christian grabs his crutches, and grabs hold of the ropes, pulling himself up to his feet. Christian places the crutches back under his arms, and slowly uses them to walk into the center of the ring. The man in the suit walks up the ring steps, and steps through the middle ropes into the ring, and walks over to the side of Christian, where he is handed a microphone.)

Man in Suit: If you can excuse me for a second. My name is Dr. Chokesondick. I am a physician here in the great state of Massachusetts. A few days ago, Mr. Christian Fury here came to my office and asked that I looked at his ribs. Well, after some X-Rays were taken, we have figured out that Mr. Fury has two cracked ribs, from his match last week in the triple threat tables match. Maybe we could see the footage?

-------------------------------------

!** Smark-Tron **!

Last week on Wrath...

Fury tries to take Wildchild over with a suplex, but holds onto the turnbuckle for dear life. Johnny sneaks up behind Fury and puts him on his shoulders. Fury, caught totally unawares, releases his hold on Wildchild. Johnny turns around, so that his and Fury’s backs are facing Wildchild, who steadies himself on the top turnbuckle. Suddenly, Wildchild leaps off, grabbing Fury in a headlock as he passes over, as Johnny swings Fury forward as he falls to the mat, resulting in an Electric Chair Drop – Bulldog combination from the two that sends Fury into the table!

!** Smark-Tron **!

-------------------------------------

Dr. Chokesondick: As you can see, my patient, Mr. Fury was thrown chest first through a table, thus injuring his ribs. So, under my medical advice, Mr. Fury will not be wrestling tonight.

(The crowd begins to boo as Spike Jenkins pulls the microphone out of Dr. Chokesondick's hand.)

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins: So what you are saying, is that Christian Fury is forfeiting his match against "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins, thus making "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins the winner by default!

(Spike holds his arms in the air as the crowd boos at the ignorant bastard. Without him looking, Dr. Chokesondick pulls the microphone back from Spike's hand.)

Dr. Chokesondick: I don't think so Mr. Jenkins. What this means is, that this match will be postponed until Mr. Christian Fury has fully recovered. And if you don't believe that, I have a paper here saying that this match will take place some time down the line, signed by the Commissioner of the SJL, whose name happens to be...

(Before Dr. Chokesondick can say the Commissioner name, Spike gives him a quick right hand to the jaw, knocking the stunned Doctor to the mat. Christian Fury looks down wide-eyed at the Doctor, and barely notice Spike throw his leg up, superkicking Christian in the jaw, knocking him to the mat.)

Axis: What the hell is this? Spike Jenkins is attacking an injured Christian Fury and Christian Fury's doctor.

Suicide King: Well, if you ask me. It is just Christian Fury cowering in fear behind his doctor because he is scared of Spike Jenkins.

(Spike Jenkins picks up one of the crutches Christian Fury was holding moments before the superkick, and lifting it above his heads, drives it down into the injured ribs of Christian. Spike lifts the half broken crutch up again, and once again slams it into the injured ribs of Christian Fury, breaking the crutch in half. Spike turns towards Referee Michael Kivell and screams at him to ring the bell, as Kivell just looks on in shock. Spike yells it at him once again, and Kivell turns towards the ring announcer, and signals for the bell to be rung.)

* Ding Ding Ding *

Axis: This match is not suppose to take place!

Suicide King: Christian Fury is so scared of Spike Jenkins, that he will even fake an injury to get out of a match. Well, Spike Jenkins is too smart for that.

Axis: But Christian Fury IS really injured.

Suicide King: Says who? That fake TV doctor down there.

Axis: Fake TV doctor?

Suicide King: Yeah, I saw that doctor on Days of our Lives.

Axis: Really?

Suicide King: Or maybe it was General Hospital. Or E.R. One or the other.

Axis: Why do I doubt that is true?

Suicide King: I am telling you. I have seen that "Doctor" before.

Axis: If you say so.

(Spike grabs the legs of Christian Fury, lifting them up into the air, so Christian is laying on the back of his head. Spike turns Christian over onto his stomach, but still stands up, holding Christian's legs up, pulling on his back and ribs with The Smoke Out. Christian wraps one arm around his injured ribs, and quickly taps out to the pain with the other, and Matthew Kivell rings the bell to end the contest.)

* Ding Ding Ding *

Suicide King: Spike Jenkins may have broken a new record with beating Christian Fury in under TWO Seconds!

Axis: WOW, he hit Christian with a cheap shot, A injured man and won. Good job to Spike Jenkins.

Suicide King: See. Now you are starting to become a Hollywood fan.

Axis: I was being sarcastic.

(Instead of letting go, Spike Jenkins holds his place, and keeps Christian Fury in The Smoke Out. Matthew Kivell walks over to Spike, and starts yelling at him to break the hold, but all Spike does is yell back "I'm The King of the World!" Matthew Kivell signs for the ring announcer to ring the bell again, to signal for Spike to let go, but Spike just stands there, holding onto Christian. Christian lays there, screaming in pain, and slamming his hand against the mat.)

Axis: What the hell is this?

Suicide King: Spike Jenkins is sending Christian a message that next time, he should face someone Superior to him like a man.

Axis: You MUST be joking.

Suicide King: Hey look. That fake doctor is up and just slid into the ring.

(Dr. Chokesondick gets to his feet, and walks over to Spike. Dr. Chokesondick tries to get some pay back, and swings at Spike with a right hand, but Spike lets go of The Smoke Out on Christian, and blocks the right hand. Spike grabs Dr. Chokesondick around the waist, and pulls his legs out from under him with a double leg takedown. Spike holds onto the doctors legs, lifting him up, so he is laying on the back of his head, and turning him around onto his stomach, but still holds his legs up in The Smoke Out! Dr. Chokesondick starts screaming like he is being stabbed to death, and throws his arms around, trying to get out.)

Axis: Oh Come On! That doctor isn't even a trained professional to be in that ring.

Suicide King: Wait, now I remember where I saw that doctor from.

Axis: Where?

Suicide King: The local hospital. A really hot, young secretary works there.

Axis: So that is a REAL doctor?

Suicide King: Yeah, yeah sure. Her name was Julia. Hmm, what I would do to her...

Axis: What about the doctor?

Suicide King: Axis...I'm not into men....

Axis: THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN!

Suicide King: Hey, I don't care what your into. Where in the United States, where every man is free to date any other women...err..."person" he wants.

Axis: ......

(Back in the ring, officials are in the ring, trying to pull Spike Jenkins off, but Spike just holds on to the doctor. After a few seconds, Spike lets go of Dr. Chokesondick, and walks around the ring, with his arms in the air, wanting the crowd to praise him, but the Boston crowd boos him instead. The officials in the ring crowd around the Doctor, as the camera goes back to Axis and Suicide King)

Axis: What is Spike Jenkins problem? Is he scared that he had to face Christian Fury sometime down the road?

Suicide King: Please! Christian Fury is freaked out that he has to get in the ring with the King of the World. This was all a charade!

Axis: This coming from a guy who goes to the hospital to pick up women.

Suicide King: This coming from a guy who goes to clubs to pick up men.

Axis: I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!

Suicide King: Axis. Do you parents know? Or are you still in the closet?

Axis: I hate you. I really do.

Suicide King: As long as it isn't love, I am fine with that.

Axis: Anyway folks, we have to get to a commercial. Stay tuned for some more action on SJL Crimson!

(Spike Jenkins climbs out of the ring, and begins walking up the ramp as the camera's go to black and SJL Crimson goes to a commercial.)

November 1, 2002

"Welcome back to the Fleet Centre in Boston Mass." Axis shouts over the crowd.

"We've had a stunning opening match and now we've got what promises to be another" King slimes.

"Ladies and gentlemen at with time making his way to the ring, at 193 pounds... from right here in BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS ... JAMES MORIN!"

A big warm welcome rains down on the hometown boy, and a quickly rising fan favourite. In his black and yellow pants with the class Real American playing behind him, Morin struts out into his home arena and sucks up the reaction.

"Now Morin lost his first real match to The Ripper last time here in SJL, will he even up his record this time round?" Axis comments.

In his own style Morin jumps onto the apron, springboards with the ropes and somersaults into the ring, bring on more cheers.

"And now, from Birmingham, England, weighting in at 237 pounds... DACE NIGHT!"

As the red and purple lights darken the arena, Cold Hate, Warm Blood rips out across it Dace strides out in a gore laden T-shirt showing under his trench coat. Flinging it off into the ring side are and climbs slowly into the ring.

"First time out against real competition for my boy Dace.. Should be as easy as last time," The Suicide King smiles to himself.

Morin offers out a hand.. and Dace shakes it, nods at him and steps back into his corner.

"Now before you go bad mouthing him Axis, see, he didn't attack Morin before the ring bell. He doesn't need that advantage."

"Nice sportsmanship from both men fair. A big conflict of styles. Should make for an interesting match here" Axis says waiting for the bell"

"Or another Awesome Spike from ECW!" King yells at his own idea.

DING, DING, DING!

Both men circle around, felling each other out. Morin shoots for an early Spear, but Dace side steps and sends him flying past, but Morin stops before he going through the ropes.

They tie up for the first time and Dace overpowers Morin and rams backs him into the corner.

One chop, two chops, three chops, four chops..

"Lets have some more chops," King chimes along

"Classic chops in the corner from Dace, just proving how much stronger he his that Morin" Axis calls.

But lightning quick, Morin ducks another chop and Dropkicks Dace in the back, which sends his chest first into the turnbuckles, then Morin back flips away.

"Nice moves and speed here from Morin," notes Axis

Both men circle again. Dace faints in a lariat, Morin ducks but Dace just stops over him before stepping back and laughing. The crowd joins in.

Morin stands and smiles back.

"Interesting game of cat and mouse, and Dace seem to be a very friendly cat," muses Axis"

"Dace, what the hell are you doing? Get in there and crush him!" King yells.

Dace ties up, whips Morin into the ropes, reversal, Morin goes for a dropkick, Dace catches him feet, Morin flips over as Dace throws his legs over his, and back onto his feet. Dace whips Morin again, it works this time, runs after him with a Lariat, Morin slides under his arm and then jumps backwards, flips over, lands on Dace's shoulders and takes his over with a Hurricanrana!

"What a show of speed from Morin, that's incredible," Axis shouts out as the crowd cheer Morin on.

The crowd erupts of Morin's show of speed.

Dace lays flat on his back blinking before climbing to his feet.

Circling once move, Dace moves in with a Knee to the gut to slow Morin down. And then another one, and a third.

Snap suplex onto Morin, laying him out flat on his back.

"Dace cuts Morin off with some knees and a snap suplex" Axis calls

Dace tries for a Northern Lights, but Morin jumps up, swings round and down into a DDT.

Both men back up, right hands from each, them hook in mid arm, and lefts that do the same. Dace goes for a head BUTT, and Morin flows him.

The crash and Morin staggers back and slumps to his knees.

"Picture prefect exchange, but Morin had no chance but to match Dace for power and he just couldn't," says Axis

"That's the Dace I like," King calls

Dace knees Morin once more, and delivers a Spinning Piledriver and covers him.

......1!

Kickout!

"Nice piledriver from Dace, and the first cover of the match." Comments Axis

Morin backs off, before cartwheeling past Dace, rear waist lock, shoots him off into the ropes. Dace grabs the ropes and stops, to turn round into Morin's spear. Morin jumps up, hooks his legs over Dace's shoulders and Rana's him over the top rope to the floor!

"Over the top and both men spill out onto the floor infront of us." Shouts Axis

"Come on Dace, destroy him on the floor!" King screams.

Morin tries to pound away at Dace, but Dace simply shrugs him off. A series of stiff chops and a knee to the gut level Morin pining against the barricade. Dace hooks him up for a suplex, turning his back to the barricade, Dace suplexes Morin over and turns it into a Stunner, Morin's chin crashing of Dace's shoulder and the barricade.

"ShotGun across the barricade and Dace slides back into the ring," Axis follows with play by play.

"There it is, Dace has his now. I think he might just leave Morin for the count out," King says.

As Dace stands and waits in the ring, the ref starts to count.

......1!

......2!

......3!

......4!

......5!

..... "And Morin is back in the ring." Axis says.

Morin jumps up, tries for a rana, no Dace hold onto him and dumps Morin up top. But Morin jumps right off, grabs Dace in a face lock on they way down and plants him with a DDT.

"What a DDT!"

......1!

...Kickout!

Both men back up to their feet. Dace whips Morin to the ropes and charges after him. Morin holds the ropes and jumps up trying to Hurricanrana Dace over the top once more. Dace holds on this time, twist round with Morin on his shoulders and Powerbombs him down!

"Ouch, Morin should have learned from Dace's dark match that the same trick wont work twice and be pays for it with a powerbomb."

"Go Dace, go! Take this little man to pieces!" King starts yelling.

Chants being to pour again down from the crowd, egging Morin on more and more.

Dace covers Morin

......1!

.....Kickout!

A knee to the gut and Dace sends Morin to the ropes. Ducks down, but Morin leaps over him and comes off the ropes on the other side. Dace stand and turns, dropkick by Morin, but Dace just swats him down. Drags Morin back up, whips him into the corner.

"Crash! And Morin collides with turnbuckles," Axis shouts.

Dace ploughs in with a Running Elbow Smash nailing Morin in the corner.

Morin slumps to the mat!

"And Morin could be out!"

Front Face Lock by Dace, clamping down on Morin.

"And the chants start to flow from the crowd, trying to get Morin out of the Front Face lock by Dace"

"These fools just don't get real talent do they?" King questions

Dace starts to drag Morin around the ring.

He kicks the turnbuckle on the way past. Morin tries to grab for the ropes, but Dace knees his arm away. Kicking the second turnbuckle the ref starts to ask Morin if he want so quit.

"Morin refusing to give up... for now."

Dace lets Morin come to within inches of the ropes before dragging him back into the centre of the ring.

The boos and jeers rain down from the crowd.

"Dace is playing with him again, I don't think he's even trying with that hold. And Morin thought it was a nice game of cat and mouse at the start," comments King.

"I hate to say it, but I think your right. Dace is just slowing Morin down and pissing him off, not trying to make him tap."

Morin struggles and tries to twist out of the hold, but Dace can hold on and pull Morin round, Morin just doesn't have the leverage to spring out of it.

Now Dace takes him to the third turnbuckle and kicks it as he passes by it. Now he starts jerking on Morin's neck, and pulling him along.

"Now Dace is starting to clamp it down, and Morin has nothing he can do but sit and wait for an opening or a mistake."

And the fourth turnbuckle and once again Dace kicks out and then shouts out to the crowd. The crowd starts to clap for Morin and will him on.

"Dace just completed a lap of honour with Morin in tow, talk about humiliation. This is brilliant work from Dace," King says happily

Dace walks Morin like a horse to the middle of the ring... and lets go..

"BANG!" Screams out Axis

A stiff Knee to the gut drops Morin to the mat. Back to the front face lock, and Dace suplexes Morin, still in the face lock.

Rolling back up Dace really clamps down on the hold for the first time.

"And now finally Dace starts to cut of Morin's air, looking for a submission."

"Choke him out Dace! That's the way," King shouts.

The ref checks on Morin.. and he says he doesn't want to quit.

Once again Dace wrenches on Morin's neck and tightens up the hold.

The clapping and chanting for Morin gets louder and louder.

Morin starts to fall limp.. His arm is raised.

Once!

Twice! Dace drops to one knee trying to up even more weight onto Morin.

Thr--- Morin seizes his chance and springs off Dace's knee, flipping over he finally slips from Dace's grasp, planting his arms on Dace's shoulders Morin leaps into a handstand. Then he falls down, scissors his legs around on the way past and manages to Frankensteiner Dace!

"And Morin finally breaks out, with almost a springboard into a handstand into Frankensteiner. An Amazing move!" Axis calls

"How did he do that?" King stares in shock.

Morin flops back over Dace for a cover.

The crowd cheers their home town boy on!

......1!

......2!

Kickout!

Dace rolls himself round and hooks in a Figure Four sleeper, trying to finish the job. But Morin is too close to the ropes. Kicking his feet off the ropes, Morin flips over, and lands bridged over Dace

......1!

Dace rolls through and comes out pinning Morin

......1!

Morin springs over and the mat into another cover

......1!

Dace pushes Morin off and covers him again

......1!

......2!

Kickout!

"What a show of pinning combinations right there,"

"No, so close, I thought Dace would have him this time. Come on Dace, I'm betting on you!"

Dace clambers to his feet first, scoops up Morin and dumps him with a shoulder breaker onto his knee.

Dace backs off and waits in the corner.

Morin comes to his feet as Dace runs and Yakuza Kicks him right back down. Carrying on past, Dace leans against the nearest turnbuckle and grins out at the crowd.

"YAKUZA KICK!"

......1!

......2!

......3!

......4!

"Why isn't Dace making the cover? More cat and mouse?" Axis wonders

......5!

Morin scrambles back to his feet using the ropes.

Desperately he runs at Dace, who is still in the corner, Morin vaults up. Dace side steps, but Morin lands balanced on the top rope. Jumping backwards, Morin dropkicks Dace from his feet. Morin holds onto the top rope, and springs back up without touching the floor!

"What a dropkick from Morin, he's just incredible," Axis yells, in shock once more.

The crowd are all over Axis, and his highflying show, they are really into him.

As Morin is back up top, he turns and leaps off the top.

"Frog Splash by Morin, sailing through the air and onto Dace. Picture prefect and Morin nails 100% of it,"

"No, not this way, it's not going to be over yet," shouts Kings, indigent.

......1!

......2!

...Kickout

Dace rolls out of the ring onto the floor. Not wasting any time, Morin charges at the ropes, bounces off them, comes back towards Dace on the outside and leaps though the ropes with a suicide dive!

But Dace is standing and catches Morin in mid air.

"Beautiful Suicide Dive for Morin, but to not effect as Dace catches him in mid air."

But Dace simples places Morin on the apron and slides back into the ring. Morin turns and leaps over the top. Dace catches him again, knee to the gut, and a Fishermans suplex for Morin's troubles. Bridging over for the pin.

"See, Dace was nice to Morin, and Morin ends up trying a sneak attack on Dace," King says with false disgust.

......1!

......2!

Kickout

"No luck with the fishermans suplex for Dace," says Axis

Still holding on Dace stands back up, taking Morin with him.

Switching holds to a Northern Lights, Dace tries again.

......1!

......2!

Kickout!

Back up again and Dace adds in a Hammerlock

......1!

......2!

Kickout!

"Three in a row, but it's no good for Dace, Morin gets out the back door ever time." Axis calls.

Every time the crowd gets louder and louder for Morin's kickouts from Dace's covers.

"Finish him off Dace, take it home."

Dace pushes Morin back into the corner and lays in some stiff chops. He turns, grabs Morin's head and Diamond Cutters him out of the corner.

Hauling Morin back up, Dace places him on the top rope. Dace climbs up after him. And starts taunting to the crowd infront of him.

"Diamond Cutter by Dace, who then sits Morin up top, but is wasting time with the fans."

Wham! Wham! Wham! Morin fires off last ditch right hands at Dace, managing to send him rocking.

"Now Morin is digging down to start firing back."

"Don't waste anymore time, just finish him before he comes back any more," King shouts.

Morin kicks Dace's legs away, and Dace falls to the mat, but stays on his feet.

Morin hooks the head and swings off the top for a Tornado DDT. Dace carries on round with the move, looking to plant Morin back up top, but Morin shifts all his weight and spikes Dace down.

"Tornado DDT, Morin got it this time... I think Dace caught his head on one of the turnbuckles on the way down with that one," comes Axis' play by play.

"That cheating rat Morin."

The ref begins to count both men down.

......1!

......2!

......3!

......4!

......5!

......6!

......7!

......8!

Both men are somehow able to get an arm other the other's chest.

"We've got a double cover!"

......1!

......2!

.....Kickout!

Dace kicks out, but it doing so takes his arm off Morin's chest, breaking both pinfalls.

"No, it's still going!"

But both men are still down, so the ref starts counting again

......1!

......2!

......3!

......4!

Dace climbs up, but as he does do, it rips off the second and top turnbuckle pads by accident.

Dragging Morin to the middle of the ring he waits.

Morin's leg flashes out and sweeps Dace from his feet. Morin drops and elbow, and another and a third.

The crowd are moving again for Morin.

"Morin is making a lat minute come back," Axis says

Morin lifts Dace and DDTs him down. Holds on and does it again. Climbing straight up top Morin flies off with a prefect leg drop.

"Two DDTs and a diving leg drop, right across Dace's throat!"

He covers, the crowd counts.. ONE! TWO!.. But it's no good, the ref is fixing the turnbuckle pads that Dace ripped off before.

"The ref is trying to fix the turnbuckles and it's costing Morin the match!"

"I knew Dace would have a plan for this," laughs King.

Morin gets up and starts yelling at the ref to count the fall. He turns back round the see a bloodied Dace rise to one knee.

"It looks like Dace got busted open when his head was smashed against the turnbuckles," calls Axis

Morin dropkicks Dace back down. Standing leg drop, and another.

The ref is finally there for the cover

......1!

......2!

Kickout!

The crowd are alive and livid as Dace kicks out once again.

"Dace nearly throws Morin across the ring with that kick out!"

Morin runs up and tries another drop kick, aiming for the blood head of Dace. Dace jut takes it and stands there. Huge elbow smash sends Morin staggering back wards.. and Dace follows in. Yakuza Kick!

Dace scoops up Morin from behind as he tries to get up from the kick. Turn him over Dace drives him down as he sits out, Morin landing on his face between Dace's legs.

"Inverted MICHINOKU DRIVAAAHH 2! Spiking Morin!" shouts Axis

"He said he'd do it thrice, or something like that," grins King

Right back to his feet, Dace grabs Morin's wrist, whips him away, but holds the wrist, drags him back into his knee. Pulling Morin's arm between his own legs, Dace sets him up for a pumphandle. Up and over his shoulder, cradles his head with his far arm, through the leg with the near arm...

"PUMPHANDRREE CLLAADRRRE EMELLAARRDD FUSSIIONN!" Screams Axis

"Is that twice?" King grins some more.

And again no cover. Grabbing Morin's arm once again. Wrist Crunches it under Morin's neck, reaches between his legs.

"Wrist Crunch Northern Lights coming up. This is it," Axis shouts.

"Here comes that lovely thrice."

Dace lifts him, but Morin manages to twist round and lands on his feet, but Dace still has his arm. Dace twists round and knees Morin in the gut to shut up any counters. Scoops him up, Wrist Crunch Northern Lights Bomb! Dace holds on, which cradles up Morin for the cover.

"Boom! WLLIISSTT CLLUNCHHH NOLLTHELLN LIGHTS BOOMMBBBUUU! Right on Morin's neck, this is history."

......1!

......2!

......3!

DING, DING, DING!

"Dace gets him, with a perfect looking finisher, that everyone would be proud of."

"Ladies and Gentlemen, you winner, by pinfall, from a Japanese Ocean Queen Bee Bomb... DACE NIGHT!"

A bloody Dace stands, and it still holding Morin's wrist. He shakes his hand before ducking under the ropes and out of the ring as he music floods into the arena. He grabs a house mike from ring side.

"Morin, you dare stand back up while I'm still out here, and I'll come back into that ring and spike your head onto a chair. Got that boy? I said something wicked was coming this way, and here it is."

Dace chucks the mike into the crowd and walks to the back, the blood now pouring down his face.

November 1, 2002

We fade in on the arena where tonight's SJL...

Wait a second.

Why are you watching this?

Are you one of those people that would rather watch Tough Enough III than go egging?

Or get free candy?

Fool.

Come on, there must be something better on than SJL... here, let's check out MTV.

-click!-

"Hello everyone, Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond, and tonight we have a special Halloween treat for you!"

"That's right Johnny, in our main event it's a battle royal of Michael Myers, Freddy Krueger, Jason..."

Yawn.

-click!-

"Remember, Paul Wellstone might be dead, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't vote for him in his memory!"

Damn Dems. I wonder how Logan/Van Siclen is.

-click!-

Well, it appears that Mike is wearing a Suicide King mask and Logan is wearing an Edwin Macphisto mask. This is sad.

-click!-

"Patrick, what did you eat?!"

Mmm, SpongeBob.

"Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza."

"No Patrick, just today."

"Oh. Some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza..."

God, I love that show.

-click!-

"And even though they lost the World Series, and even though the baseball season is over, Barry Bonds is still our top story right here on ESPN News!"

Jesus Christ, quit with the blowjob there.

-click!-

"Do not fuck with me! I will not waste my career on you!"

"So he told me I sucked."

"You suck!"

"And that I was worthless."

"You're worthless!"

"And I was all, jeez, Bill, don't have a fucking hernia."

"SHUT UP!"

*sigh* Priceless.

-click!-

"Now Tazz, we don't have necrophilia on our shows, just adultery!"

That reminds me, how's SJL going?

-click!-

"King" grabs "Edwin" in a half-nelson... JOKER'S WILD! "King" goes for the pinfall!

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"THREE!"

-=:Ding Ding Ding:=-

"Your winner, the Suicide King!"

(King) - "What an embarassment."

(Edwin) - "Indeedy-o, King."

(King) - "Edwin, what the fuck are you doing here?"

(Edwin) - "Watching Mike and Logan piss on our legacies."

(King) - "Let's beat the shit out of them."

(Edwin) - "Let's."

Edwin and King run down to the ring, laying the SMACK DOWN on Mike and Logan!

(Axis) - "UNION JACK ON VAN SICLEN! JOKER'S WILD ON LOGAN!"

King and Edwin pose in the ring, halloween in full effect as we close the curtains on this last minute rushjob.

November 1, 2002

SJL Crimson returns to the airwaves once again. Music plays as the camera spans across the arena, centering a couple of times on a few groups of particularly wild fans. The camera centers on the SJL’s dynamic two-man commentary team.

“Welcome back to SJL Crimson,” says Axis with his beginning bit. “It’s Halloween night and what a night it’s been at that.”

“It’s been pretty good,” adds the Suicide King. “Unfortunately your commentary drags the show down. You’re lucky I’m here…”

“Whatever King,” Axis replies before completely changing his tone of voice. “In just a few moments we’re going to see what promises to be a hardcore thrill ride between Jack the Ripper and Johnny Dangerous. There is a lot of anger between these two. Most recently Jack the Ripper and this Ms. Muffin locked Johnny Dangerous in a casket.”

“I think this match would be quite entertaining if Johnny stayed in the casket and Jack just started chasing fans,” adds the Suicide King.

“Yeah. That would be great,” adds Axis in a sarcastic voice. “Now lets look back at this ongoing feud between these two superstars.”

A clip of Jack the Ripper and Johnny Dangerous’ feud pops up. It shows everything from Ms. Muffin, to our big matches, to Jack locking Johnny in a casket. All this is shown in a little over 45 seconds.

“We still don’t know what kind of state of mind Johnny’s going to be in tonight, but we know one thing, this match is going to have a lot of emotions behind it.”

The lights in the Fleet Center dim to black as the Boston fans boo, knowing who is coming. Marilyn Manson’s “Fight Song” hits as Pyro illuminates the ramp. Jack the Ripper steps out from the darkness onto the entrance ramp and begins to make his way down to the ring. The trench coat wearing psychopath carries a steel chair in one hand and his cane in the other. Ms. Muffin steps out from behind him as he taunts the crowd by holding his cane in the air.

“This bout set for one fall, hardcore rules do apply. Introducing first, hailing from London, England and weighing in at 215 pounds, JAAAAAACK THE RIIIIIIPPER!” The fans boo and a few sections get a chant of “Jack the A-Hole” started as Funyon says this.

“Anything goes in this match,” adds Axis. “Pinfalls and submissions must be done inside the ring.”

“Winner gets to throw Axis through a flaming table in downtown Boston,” adds the Suicide King.

Axis pauses for a moment, “that’s not true.”

Jack the Ripper slides into the ring as the Pyro dies down. He sets up the chair in the middle of the ring and begins to swing his cane around, getting ready for the hardcore match.

The houselights dim as a female voice is heard saying “Johnny Dangerous,” the fans respond with a roar of cheers as the Barracuda strides down to the ring. The Mission Impossible 2 theme from Limp Bizkit explodes from the sound system. Johnny doesn’t stop once on his way down to the ring, he goes straight to the ring.

“And his opponent, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada and weighing in at 205 pounds, JOOOOOOOHNNY “THE BARRACUDA” DAAAANGEROUS!!!”

The fans cheer as Johnny stops before sliding into the ring. He just stands outside of the ring, looking up at the Ripper with anger in his eyes. Jack laughs as he taunts the Barracuda with his cane.

Ms. Muffin makes it to the opposite side of the outside of the ring, as Johnny begins to walk closer to the ring. He grabs a hold of the second rope but quickly backs off as Jack rushes over and swings his cane, but it’s too late to hit Johnny. Jack backs up a little as Johnny Dangerous starts circling around the ring. Johnny abruptly stops and pulls up the apron, he quickly pulls out a steel pipe and jumps up onto the ring, outside of the ropes. Jack his more than a little hesitant at rushing at him. The Barracuda steps through the ropes and awaits a response from Jack; he just eyes him in anger.

“DING! DING! DING!”

“And we’re underway here in Boston, Massachusetts,” says Axis after the bell rings.

“It’s about time…”

Jack the Ripper motions that he’s going to drop his cane, and he asks Johnny to do so, also. Once Johnny drops his bar, Jack pulls his arm back up and lunges at him with his cane. The Barracuda ducks a clothesline with the cane and delivers a hard kick to the back of Jack’s knee before kicking the front of the same knee. The Barracuda backs away as Jack squeezes his cane swings it around a little. The two wrestlers begin to circle around each other. Johnny Dangerous lunges forward with a roundhouse kick, but Jack dodges the blow and trips Johnny with a swift blow with his cane. From there, Jack uses the cane to apply an extra tight ankle lock, Johnny’s foot resting on the cane.

“Jack dodges a kick, trips Johnny Dangerous and applies an ankle lock,” says Axis with his usual play-by-play commentary

Jack keeps twisting Johnny’s ankle, but they’re just too close to the ropes. Johnny Dangerous latches his hand onto Jack’s leg and does a rollup pin…

1

.

JACK KICKS OUT BEFORE TWO

“Johnny Dangerous isn’t going to win the match that easily.”

Jack hops up, latches the hook of his cane onto the top rope to balance him, and then begins to stomp on the upper back of Johnny Dangerous.

This is going to be a very hardcore match,” says Axis. “There’s going to be blood.”

“We can only hope, Axis,” replies the Suicide King.

Jack then pulls back on the cane and uses it to jump into the air and land a hard double-stomp to the back of Johnny Dangerous. The crowd begins a chant of “Jack the A-Hole. Jack continues on Johnny’s back by stepping over him and using his cane, he pulls Johnny Dangerous’ head back, which causes Johnny’s back to bend.

“Jack’s going to work on Johnny’s back,” comments Axis.

Jack the Ripper releases the hold after about ten seconds, wanting to move on. Jack pulls Johnny Dangerous to his feet and whips him to the turnbuckle opposite of the two wrestlers. Jack follows that up by walking over there and delivering a backhand to the Barracuda’s chest. He then does it again, and again. The crowd is heard yelling “WOOOOO” after every backhand.

“Jack tearing apart Johnny Dangerous so far in this match,” comments Axis.

Johnny Dangerous is able to come back with his own backhand, then another, and another. He works his way away from the turnbuckle and whips Jack into the same turnbuckle. He pulls out a leather strap and walks over to Jack to a positive fan reaction. SLAP! Johnny Dangerous uses the leather strap on Jack the Ripper’s chest.

SLAP!

Johnny Dangerous sets Jack up onto the turnbuckle and signals to the fans for a pop of cheers. He delivers a few punches to the head of Jack the Ripper before pulling him off, doing an atomic drop and then a small arm drag. Johnny Dangerous hooks Jack’s right leg for the pin…

1

.

2

MS. MUFFIN PULLS JOHNNY DANGEROUS OUT OF THE RING

“…And, No. Ms. Muffin, Jack’s new manager pulls Johnny Dangerous outside of the ring after the two count,” says an enthusiastic Axis.

Ms. Muffin pulls back her arm and slaps Johnny Dangerous across the face. Johnny bends over for a second before standing up. Johnny’s face is unreadable; you can’t tell what he’s going to do next. The Barracuda starts to say something when suddenly Jack grabs Johnny and locks on a sleeper hold. The Ripper kneels down from inside the ropes and Johnny Dangerous standing outside of the ring.

“Jack the Ripper with a sleeper hold,” comments Axis with play-by-play. “He’s playing it safe right now.”

Jack lets go of the sleeper hold once Johnny Dangerous is just about out of breath, he climbs up onto the turnbuckle and soars through the air with a missile dropkick. The dropkick lands both men on their backs. Ms. Muffin walks over to Johnny Dangerous and begins kicking him as he tries to get up. Jack the Ripper makes it to his feet and Ms. Muffin backs away from the two wrestlers. Jack the Ripper whips Johnny into steel barrier, the fans seem to feel his pain. The Ripper follows that up by firing a few hard punches.

“Both men are taking this battle outside of the ring.”

Jack the Ripper slides Johnny Dangerous into the ring before hopping up onto the apron and stepping through the ropes. Jack walks over to the chair he set up early in the match, he kicks it with his foot to make sure it will stand before moving it closer to Johnny Dangerous. He then positions himself across the ring from the Barracuda; the only thing standing between then is the chair. Jack waits a moment before running full speed towards Johnny; he jumps up onto the chair and soars through the air towards the standing Secret Agent. Johnny Dangerous ducks down and pulls the top rope down so that Jack the Ripper flies outside of the ring. Instead of landing on the ground, Jack lands right on top of Ms. Muffin with an accidental cross body.

“Jack the Ripper runs full speed off that chair and hits his manager!” shouts out Axis.

“The crowd cheers and even laughs as Jack rolls off of his manager. Johnny Dangerous takes advantage of the situation by climbing to the top of the turnbuckle as the cheers reach a climax. Johnny Dangerous soars into the air, flips so that it looks like he’s doing a moonsault before doing a flipping type dropkick, knocking the now standing Jack the Ripper back down.

“Wow! Johnny Dangerous flips off the turnbuckle and delivers a dropkick,” says Axis. “What a high risk move that was.”

“The only reason Johnny got to do that was because he made Jack jumps out of the ring,” adds the Suicide King.

“The only reason Jack is still in this match is because Ms. Muffin pulled Johnny Dangerous out of the ring,” replies Axis. “To be fair, Jack might have kicked out.”

It takes Johnny a few moments to get up, but he is able to pull himself up, well before Jack. Johnny Dangerous starts to pull Jack up, when all of the sudden he sees Ms. Muffin rushing over with a chair. He does a roundhouse kick, knocking the chair into Ms. Muffin’s face. He then proceeds to slide The Ripper into the ring.

“There’s proof that Johnny Dangerous has an odd background,” comments the Suicide King like he’s stumbling upon an amazing revelation. “He’s trying to keep Ms. Muffin’s mouth shut.”

“She attacked him!”

Johnny climbs up onto the turnbuckle after he slides Jack in. He winks at the fans before stepping through the ropes. He claps his hands up in the air before throwing a hard punch at the now standing Jack the Ripper. He throws another punch, and another. With every punch Jack backs away more and more. Johnny Dangerous finally whips Jack to the opposite side, off of the ropes. Jack’s momentum carries him back over to Johnny Dangerous who delivers one swift kick to Jack’s stomach before kicking the back of his legs, Jack manages to stay standing. The Ripper backs off a little and delivers his own kick to Johnny’s upper legs before delivering a spinning heel kick to the back of Dangerous’ right knee.

“This would be a pretty even kicking fight,” comments Axis. “But this is a hardcore match.”

“Let them kick, Axis. I want to see a broken leg,” replies the Suicide King in his hopes of seeing an injury. “At least a bruised shin!”

Jack the Ripper delvers his own whip, but this time he whips Johnny to the turnbuckle. He then delivers a few swift punches, before flipping off the fans. The Ripper follows that up by delivery a roundhouse kick and then a spinning heel kick to Johnny Dangerous.

“Jack’s really going to work on Johnny Dangerous.”

Jack the Ripper then walks away from the Barracuda and walks up to the chair he set up earlier. He pauses a moment to stair up at the fans before folding up the chair and walking back over to Johnny Dangerous. He delivers a hard chair shot to the head of Johnny Dangerous, drawing a little blood.

“It’s about time for that blood.”

Jack the Ripper sets up the chair right in front of Johnny Dangerous. He then grabs the Barracuda’s right leg and sets it up on the chair. The Ripper retrieves his cane and walks back over to the stunned Johnny Dangerous. Jack delivers a hard cane shot right over Johnny’s left eye, where the chair shot drew blood. He follows that up by whacking the knee on the leg set up on the chair. Jack delivers two more shots to the same knee before Johnny Dangerous falls to his BUTT.

“My God! He’s trying to snap Johnny Dangerous’ leg,” says Axis with play-by-play. “This is why Jack is one of the sickest hardcore wrestlers in the fed today.”

“What do you mean? All he’s really done is retire Cutthroat burn half of the Reapers’ face off,” replies the Suicide King.

Jack the Ripper throws the chair out of the way before pulling Johnny Dangerous out to the middle of the ring. He then hooks Johnny’s hurt leg and goes for a pin…

1

.

THE CROWD START TO CHEER JOHNNY ON, HOPING HE’LL KICK OUT

2

.

JOHNNY DANGEROUS GETS HIS SHOULDER UP

“Johnny Dangerous just barely stays in this match,” says Axis.

The Ripper follows that up by pushing Johnny Dangerous over and hooking Johnny’s leg with his leg. Jack then applies a crossface with both of his arms.

“Jack is applying his STF finisher!”

Right when it looks like Johnny Dangerous is about to tap Matthew Kivell is knocked down with a chair, courtesy of Ms. Muffin. Jack the Ripper applies the STF even harder as he looks around for Matthew Kivell. He immediately releases the submission once he notices Matthew Kivell knocked down.

“What is Ms. Muffin thinking? Her client was about to beat her old ‘enemy.’” Asks Axis as he watches on in astonishment.

Jack the Ripper stands up and walks over to Ms. Muffin, with an angry look on his face. She drops the chair and pleads with him as he inches forward, it looks like he’s about to hit her. Jack points to the chair and says something along the lines of “what the hell?”

The Ripper leaves Ms. Muffin and shakes Matthew Kivell awake as she slides out of the ring. Jack drags the now awake Matthew Kivell closer to Johnny Dangerous, but he’s not lying on the ground anymore. He whacks the Ripper’s head with the chair before limping forward, purposely falling down to go for the pin…

1

.

2

.

JACK KICKS OUT

“He’s a limping peeping secret Cuban agent,” says the Suicide King.

Johnny Dangerous rolls off Jack. Both wrestler struggle to inch their way up as Matthew Kivell does the same thing. Once up, Jack the Ripper throws a well-driven punch to the face of Johnny, knocking him off balance. Johnny Dangerous replies with one of his own well-driven punches, then another, and another. Johnny Dangerous then whips Jack to the ropes with a strong whip. Jack comes flying back to meet an arm drag; this arm drag lands Jack on his back. Both Jack’s momentum and the Barracuda pulling helps Jack jump up very quickly. Johnny goes for another arm drag but Jack reverses with a few hard knees to Dangerous’ stomach. Jack then releases the Barracuda’s arm and delivers a couple of back hands before whipping Johnny to the ropes.

“This is still anyone’s match.”

Johnny Dangerous comes flying back with a flying clothesline. Jack uses Johnny’s momentum to reverse with an arm drag. WHAM! Johnny Dangerous slams down on the ring.

“We’ve seen some incredible athleticism from both of these men tonight,” says Axis as Jack applies an arm bar to Johnny Dangerous.

Jack the Ripper pulls back on the Barracuda’s arm for a few moments before sitting the Barracuda up and applying a double arm bar with both arms. Jack drives his knee into Johnny’s back as he moans in pain.

“Jack’s doing a good job tonight slowing the Barracuda down.”

Jack the Ripper uses the arm bar leverage to pull the Barracuda to his feet. He drags him over to the turnbuckle, but Jack can do anything Johnny Dangerous breaks free and delivers a snapmare. This land Jack on his back in front of him. Johnny Dangerous slowly climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, letting the cheers reach a climax. But before Johnny Dangerous can pull off any kind of high-flying move, Ms. Muffin climbs up onto the apron and delivers a low blow to the secret agent. Jack the Ripper is able to make it to his feet.

“Ms. Muffin may have screwed Johnny Dangerous out of the match,” comments Axis.

Jack the Ripper grabs Johnny Dangerous by his head and pants before lifting him up into the air so that is legs are facing directly up. Jack then falls back, but holds onto Johnny’s head as he falls to his BUTT, this cause Johnny Dangerous to also fall to a seated position. The result is a massive neck breaker.

“The Ripping! Ms. Muffins’ interruption has probably just cost Johnny Dangerous the match,” says Axis at what could be the end of this match.

Jack the Ripper hooks Johnny Dangerous’ right leg for a pin attempt…

1

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2

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3

“DING! DING! DING!”

“Jack the Ripper just won the match! Ms. Muffin cost Johnny Dangerous the match!”

Jack the Ripper slides out of the ring to what seems to be a well-directed opera of boos from the Boston fans.

“Boston loves Jack the Ripper!” says the Suicide King with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Marilyn Manson’s “The Fight Song” erupts from the sound system for the second time as Jack the Ripper and Ms. Muffin walk up the ramp, they leave Johnny Dangerous bleeding in the ring.

“What a hardcore match that was,” adds Axis. “To be fair to Jack, or should I say team Jack, this was a hardcore, no-DQ match.”

The camera fades to black after one last shot of Johnny Dangerous crawling up, blood dripping down from his face.

November 1, 2002

FADE IN

Axis and Suicide King are facing the camera at ringside.

“We’re just about to have our feature match tonight, the Triple Threat Ladder match, for the European Title,” says Axis. “King, Ejiro has undergone a personality change in the last few weeks, and given the fact that he’s become the European Championship, you could argue the merits of that change. But King, Ejiro is going into this contest as a marked man! He made the mistake of challenging both Tim Dillon and the Wildchild to one of the most dangerous gimmick matches ever devised!”

“Ejiro Fasaki finally stopped worrying about what these idiots at ringside want,” remarks Suicide King. “He finally learned to look out for number one, and that change in philosophy has already led him to the European Title. But Axis, I’m ashamed to have to admit this, but you’re right. Ejiro stuck his foot in his mouth last week when he challenged both Dillon and Wildchild to a Ladder Match. Not only because of the danger involved in a ladder match, but also because he’s opened himself up to the possibility of losing his title without being involved in the decision!”

“Very precarious situation that Ejiro has gotten himself into,” agrees Axis. “Both of these men have been itching for a shot at Ejiro, and not just for a chance to become European Champion. Tim Dillon, of course, is trying to regain the belt he lost just last week, and Wildchild has developed a little bit of a history with Ejiro.”

“If ‘Clown-boy’ had enough sense to follow Ejiro’s advice, he wouldn’t have had to learn his lessons the hard way,” snorts the King. “Hell, he might even be the European Champion right now, you never know. But no! He’s too young and stupid to heed the words of someone who’s been around the business longer than he has, who knows what it takes to have a long, successful career. And, let’s face it, someone who knows what’s best for him, much better than he knows himself.”

Axis looks askance at Suicide King. “And just what makes you qualified to make that determination?”

“What do you think,” says the King with a smirk. “My ungodly amount of common sense. No one’s more qualified to determine who knows best than I am!”

“Well,” replies Axis, “While we wait on Suicide King to come back to this reality, let’s go into the ring for the introductions.”

“Hey!”

Funyon appears to have changed since the last match. He stands in the ring wearing a khaki-colored tuxedo, with a dark brown bow tie and cummerbund, and alligator-skin boots. He glances into the camera on the ring apron with a look that says, ‘Yeah, I know I look good,’ and lifts the microphone to his face. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Triple Threat Match, and it is for the SJL European Championship!”

“The crowd comes alive as “The Everlasting Gaze” by Smashing Pumpkins begins to pump over the speakers. Wildchild springs out from the backstage area, dressed not in his regular outfit, but wearing orange parachute pants, with black tape on his fingers and feet, instead of his usual white. His face is adorned with orange paint, with thin vertical black lines, and heavy dark circles around his eyes. He’s holding a Trick-or Treat bag, and he starts tossing candy into the crowd, to another huge pop.

Funyon continues, “Introducing first, from Morgan’s Bluff, in the Bahamas, weighing in at two hundred and seventeen pounds, the Wiiiiildchiiiiild!”

“Wildchild appears to be dressed up in the spirit of the holiday,” notes Axis, “and the crowd loves it!”

“It makes me sick,” snorts Suicide King. “This is absurd! Look at him whoring his self respect to these people for a cheap pop!”

“Why can’t you let this kid enjoy himself?”

“Because,” snaps the King, as Wildchild walks to the ring, showering the audience with candy, “I’m sure he spent a couple of hours getting all of that crap together, time he should have spent preparing for this match! He’s showing no respect for the European Champion!”

Axis looks at the King incredulously. “Do you honestly believe that he’s not prepared to compete tonight?”

“I think that his ridiculous appearance speaks for itself,” retorts the King. “He obviously isn’t taking this match seriously…”

Suicide King is interrupted as Wildchild walks in front of the announce table, stopping in front of Axis and the King, and sticking out his tongue in the King’s face, revealing that a tongue that has been colored black. Suicide King stands up with a start, as if prepared to lash out at Wildchild, but Wildchild breaks out in a wide grin, and rolls into the ring, climbing onto the turnbuckle, and flinging more candy out into the crowd. Suicide King scowls into the ring. “I can’t stand that guy!”

Wildchild continues to toss candy into the crowd as his music fades out, in favor of Dropkick Murphy’s “Barroom Hero.” The spindly Tim Dillon walks out onto the stage, with the lovely Candace on his arm, as cheap green confetti rains down from the rafters. As Tim and Candace start to walk down to ringside, orange and green pyro explodes behind them.

“Tim Dillon has an intense look in his eyes,” notes Axis. “He’s determined to regain that European championship tonight.”

“Dillon won that belt on a fluke,” says the King. “He’s not good enough to take it away from Ejiro. Hell, he needed Ejiro’s help just to beat ‘Clown-boy’ a couple of weeks ago!”

Back in the ring, Funyon continues. “From Limerick, Ireland, weighing in at one hundred and sixty-eight pounds, Tiiiiim Diiiiilllooooon!”

“Don’t overlook Tim Dillon,” replies Axis. “He’s a tough S.O.B., and ladder matches tend to break down into brawls, which definitely works in his favor.”

“Ejiro’s not going to let this match turn into a brawl,” responds the King. “He’s too high-class to let his title reign be tainted with that kind of low-rent behavior.”

Dillon walks up the steel steps, and climbs into the ring. He loosens up in the corner, straightening out his khaki cargo pants. Wildchild walks over to Tim and extends his hand. Dillon breaks into a slow smile, and clasps Wildchild’s hand with his own, shaking it vigorously. Wildchild then points towards the rafters and both of them look up to see the SJL European Championship suspended from a cable above the ring. Tim looks back at Wildchild and says, “no friends once the bell rings, boyo.” Wildchild nods and walks back over to the opposite corner, as “Barroom Hero” fades out.

The sounds of “Sellout” by Biohazard begin to flood the arena, and the crowd’s cheers start to diminish. Ejiro steps from behind the curtain, sniffing the air with distaste, wearing a bland gray short robe over his matching trunks, as if he had deliberately planned his wardrobe with the intent of not exciting the fans. Ejiro has a forlorn look on his face as he holds his hand to his naked waist. The crowd becomes a discordant cacophony, as a growing contingent of boos fought to overtake what remained of Ejiro’s rapidly dying fan support.

“And their opponent,” says Funyon, “from Sarasota Florida, weighing in at one hundred and eighty-eight pounds, he is the European Champion, Eeeeejiro Faaaaasaki!”

“Ejiro looks like he’s missing something,” says Axis. “Oh yeah, that’s right, the European title.”

“I know this is hard for you,” snaps the King, “but try not to act stupid. The only reason he’s not wearing the belt is because it’s hanging up above the ring for the match. Rest assured, before the when this night is over, he’ll be walking out of here with the European Title.

Ejiro stops short of the ring and stares into the rafters at his championship belt with a look of longing. Tim Dillon, who spews insults at him in a mixture of English and Gaelic, snaps him out of his reverie. Ejiro scowls at him, and they proceed to banter back and forth. Ejiro, indignant of the slew of insults being hurled at him, is so absorbed with his dialogue with Dillon, that he fails to notice Wildchild running across the top rope behind Dillon, and diving off the top turnbuckle at him, until it’s too late to get out of the way!

Wildchild lands on top of Ejiro and lays into him with punches, as the timekeeper rings the bell. Wildchild stands up and drags Ejiro over to the ring apron, where Ejiro delivers a back heel kick that sends Wildchild staggering into the barricade. Ejiro pulls himself to his feet on the ring apron, but before he can enter the ring, the left side of his face is abruptly introduced to a jarring right cross from Tim Dillon. Ejiro reaches into the ring with a left hook, which Dillon blocks. Meanwhile, Wildchild runs over to the foot of the steel stairs outside the ring, and as Dillon spins Ejiro around with another right cross, Wildchild dashes up the stairs and across the ring apron, using the top rope for balance and support as he flips forward, landing with his legs on Ejiro’s shoulders, and takes him back down to the arena floor with a scintillating flying head-scissors!

HOLY SHIT!

As Wildchild stands up and pulls Ejiro to his feet, Dillon grabs onto the top rope, and leaps out of the ring with a slingshot plancha! Wildchild rolls out of the way, but the flying Irishman crushes Ejiro! Dillon pulls Ejiro up by the hair as Wildchild slides back into the ring, and Ejiro responds by driving a knee up into Tim’s midsection out of desperation. Ejiro then punches Dillon in the face, and Dillon reacts with a punch of his own. His more forceful punches cause Ejiro to slip backwards a step, and Dillon gets in a few more punches as Wildchild runs to the opposite end of the ring. Left jab! Left jab! Left jab! Ejiro starts to stagger back and forth, so Dillon breaks into an Irish Jig!

“Irish Fury,” screams Axis. “Dillon’s trying to take Ejiro out early!”

Ejiro snaps out of his daze before Dillon finishes his jig, and swings wildly towards him, but Dillon steps backwards, and Ejiro’s own momentum turns him around. Dillon grabs Ejiro around his waist, and hoists him into the air in atomic drop position, but instead rushes towards the corner, and crotches Ejiro on the ring post! Before he can even release Ejiro, Wildchild comes running from across the ring, and somersaults over the corner to the outside, splashing on top of both men!

All three men get to their feet, and Wildchild stuns Ejiro with a right cross! Ejiro goes stumbling backwards, and is met by another right cross Dillon!

“This is unfair,” screams Suicide King. “This is supposed to be a Triple Threat match, not a handicap match. The point of this match isn’t supposed to be double-team Ejiro all night.”

“Well, maybe Ejiro should have thought of that before picking a fight with two men,” replies Axis. “It looks like he’s let his mouth write him a check his ass can’t afford, and now he has two men who not only want to take his title from him, but wouldn’t mind putting a hurt on him in the process.”

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to turn out,” whines the King. “Ejiro’s a role model, dammit! He can’t drop the belt to one of these two losers!”

Back at ringside, Wildchild hits Ejiro for about the fourth or fifth time, and he staggers backwards into Dillon, who again picks him up into an atomic drop position, this time compressing Ejiro’s spine against his knee. Ejiro shuffles forward, clutching his lower back in pain, and fails to notice what appears to be a bright orange lightning bolt aimed at his head…

WHAM!

Wildchild delivers a standing sidekick to the jaw of Ejiro, who drops to the floor like a limp rag. Wildchild looks at Dillon and gestures towards the ring. Dillon nods, and picks Ejiro up off the floor, rolling him into the ring as Wildchild reaches underneath the ring to pull out a fifteen-foot ladder!

“Looks like Wildchild is going to be pushing the envelope early in this match,” notes Axis.

Ejiro recovers from his earlier beating enough to deliver a low blow to Tim Dillon. As Dillon is bent over in pain, Ejiro pops up and captures Dillon in a uranage-type clutch, swinging his leg behind Dillon’s heel, and taking him over backwards with an STO! He then turns around and runs to the opposite ropes, diving out of desperation, and catching Wildchild by surprise with a baseball slide that smashes the solid-steel ladder into Wildchild’s face, and sends him staggering backwards to the arena floor.

Ejiro slides underneath the bottom rope, and goes outside to retrieve the ladder. He picks it up and turns it upside down, driving the top portion into Wildchild’s chest.

“Hah! Now you’re gonna see Ejiro show everyone here that he’s got the heart of a champion,” snorts the King. “He’s gonna take both of these losers out by himself!”

Ejiro slides back into the ring with the ladder, and stands up as Dillon is getting to his feet. Ejiro rushes at Dillon and runs over him with the solid steel ladder. Ejiro carries the ladder over to the far corner, and props it up. He then goes back over to Dillon, picks him up, and tosses him into the opposite corner, assaulting Dillon’s midsection with rights and lefts, before whipping him into the opposite corner, crushing Dillon’s spine against the unyielding steel ladder. As Dillon staggers out of the corner, Ejiro levels him with a vicious spinning heel kick!

Satisfied that Dillon and Wildchild are suitably incapacitated, Ejiro grabs the ladder out of the corner, and carries it over to the center of the ring, setting it just underneath the championship belt.

“You can do it Ejiro,” screams Suicide King, as Ejiro starts to climb the ladder. When he is about halfway up, Wildchild get to his feet, and dives into the ring, grabbing a hold of Ejiro’s foot, and tries to pull him off, but Ejiro kicks Wildchild on top of the head, sending him stumbling backwards into the corner.

Ejiro ascends to the top rung of the ladder, and starts reaching for the belt, but Dillon springs to his feet, and runs at the ladder, tipping it over, and sending Ejiro falling from the sky, where he ends up crotched on the top rope. Wildchild suddenly runs to the opposite corner and jumps onto the second turnbuckle, leaps off, and drills Ejiro with a springboard dropkick that sends both him and Ejiro outside to the arena floor.

Tim Dillon sets the ladder back up in the middle of the ring, and walks back over to the edge of the ring to check on the disposition of both Ejiro and Wildchild. As he sees them both seemingly incapacitated. He decides to make his reach for the belt. Dillon climbs the ladder, rung by rung, to an increasing amount of cheers from the fans. As he reaches the top rung, he sees Wildchild slide back into the ring, and quickly reaches up to grab the title. Wildchild, out of desperation, tips the ladder over, but does not see Dillon fall with it. Wildchild looks up to see him dangling above the ring, holding onto the European title for dear life. Wildchild stares briefly into the sky before being suddenly struck by inspiration. He runs to the ropes at full speed, bounces off and dashes to the opposite ropes. Wildchild picks up velocity as he rebounds off the ropes a second time, and runs back to the opposite end, where he leaps into the air, twisting as he does so, and lands on the top rope, facing the inside of the ring. Wildchild, with his accrued velocity, briefly challenges the tension of the top rope, before it snaps back towards the ring, launching Wildchild into the air, where he sails not only forward, but also upward! Wildchild curls into a ball and aims his body into the sky at Dillon.

“Mah GAWD,” screams Axis. “Elevated Pinball attack!”

Wildchild manages to extend his body at the apex of his ascent, and drives his feet forcefully into Dillon’s chest, causing him to lose his grip on the title and fall crashing to the mat.

SNAP!

Dillon lands awkwardly, hitting the canvas neck-first with a sickening crunching sound! The crowd, which had been loudly chanting “Holy Shit” in response to Wildchild’s incredible maneuver, now stand watching Dillon convulsing in the ring in stunned silence. Wildchild stares at Dillon with a mortified look on his face, and rushes over to him, shouting, “monsieur Dillon! I am so sorry, mon ami! Will you be alright?”

Ejiro climbs back into the ring and past the referee, who is desperately signaling to the backstage area for immediate medical assistance. Ejiro non-chalantly walks over to the ladder, and begins to carry it over to the center of the ring, when the referee suddenly stops him. “What’s going on,” demands Ejiro. “I need to take down my title!”

“Not right now,” replies the referee. “Not until we get him out of the ring.” Ejiro, who had previously failed to notice Dillon’s condition, now gasps at the sight of Dillon’s body twitching on the mat. He glares at Wildchild for a moment, and then walks over to the ropes and climbs out of the ring, walking over to Funyon, and snatching the microphone out of his hands.

“You know,” begins Ejiro, “I tried to prevent this from happening a few weeks ago. I saw the proclivity for recklessness that you’ve exhibited from the day you got here, and I knew that if you didn’t stop, you were going to seriously injure somebody and, sure enough, here we are. Poor little Timmy may never walk again, and it’s all you’re fault, Wildchild!”

“Ejiro shouldn’t be so rough on the kid,” says Axis. “It was an accident!”

“There are no accidents,” replies the King. “He was so consumed with winning the European title, that he was willing to do anything to win, even kill Tim Dillon.”

“He is not dead,” snaps Axis. “We don’t yet know the extent of Dillon’s injury, but he is very much alive.”

“No thanks to ‘Clown-boy,’” retorts the King.

Outside the ring, Ejiro continues, as EMT’s arrive to the ring to evaluate Tim. “You were too stubborn to take my advice, and now you’ve crippled somebody! You were so obsessed with popping the crowd that you acted without regard for your opponents’ safety, and now poor Timmy is lying in the ring doing his best Mexican jumping bean impression.

“This is all your fault! This all could have been avoided if you had just listened to me,” continues Ejiro. “Like I told you before, I know better than you; I was trying to save you from doing something like this to yourself or somebody else!” How many careers are you going to have to ruin before you get the message? How many…”

Ejiro is unable to finish the thought, as Wildchild dives over the top rope and crushes Ejiro with a suicide dive. Wildchild thunders punches down onto Ejiro’s face with aplomb, as EMT’s get Dillon out of the ring and push him backstage on a gurney. He picks Ejiro up and rolls him back into the ring, climbing to the top turnbuckle and measuring Ejiro as he gets to his feet. Wildchild dives off the turnbuckle, but Ejiro leaps into the air and scores with a dropkick of his own. Sensing an opportunity, Ejiro rushes over to the ladder, and sets it back up in the center of the ring, but instead of climbing all the way to the top, he stops about ten feet up, and drops down with a knee, but Wildchild rolls out of the way, and Ejiro jams his knee into the unforgiving canvas.

Wildchild picks Ejiro up off the mat, and whips him into the ropes, running to the opposite ropes himself, and flying through the air at Ejiro, blasting him with a flying forearm. Wildchild nips up to his feet, and reaches above his head, grabbing at the air in a clutching motion, and bringing his hands quickly down to his chest.

“That’s it,” screams Axis as the crowd erupts. “He’s going for the Wild Ride!”

Wildchild pulls Ejiro up to a bent position, and hooks his arms underneath Ejiro’s. He rotates underneath Ejiro and stands upright, with Ejiro’s legs hanging over his shoulders. With a scream, Wildchild falls to the mat, driving Ejiro headfirst into the canvas.

“Wild Ride,” screams Axis. “Wild Ride! WILD RIDE~!”

Wildchild gets to his feet, and begins to climb the ladder. He makes it to the top rung with little difficulty, and ascends to the very top of the ladder. As he places on hand on the European Title, the crowd erupts in a raucous cheer, but Wildchild glances down to the mat, to see Ejiro’s body lying there. He looks back at the title belt, then back to Ejiro. Title. Ejiro. Title. Ejiro.

“Just take the belt, kid,” pleads Axis. “Take it and go!”

“He won’t do it,” cries the King. “He can’t do it! You can see him up there right now, trying to fight the urge to do something stupid!”

Half of the crowd is screaming for him to just take the belt and end the match, but the other half is screaming for him to give into his temptations. Wildchild looks back at the title one last time, and breaks into a wide grin, as if to say, “I’ll be right back,” and jumps off the top of the ladder! Wildchild falls towards the canvas, twisting through the air with his arms extended, and finally crashing on top of Ejiro’s chest.

“OH MY GAWD! Andros drop from the top of the ladder!”

“I knew it,” smirks the King. “I knew he couldn’t just grab the title and let that be the end of it!”

Wildchild holds onto his midsection in pain, as the drop from the ladder hurt him almost as much as it did Ejiro. After almost a minute, Wildchild struggles to his feet to a huge crowd reaction, and staggers back over to the ladder. He starts to climb back up, much slower this time.

Suddenly, when he’s about halfway up the ladder, Jack the Ripper comes flying down the ramp from the backstage area! “It’s Jack,” yells Axis. “What’s Jack the Ripper doing out here?”

“Probably looking to get a piece of ‘Clown-boy’ for what happened earlier tonight,” remarks the King.

Jack grabs Wildchild off ladder in a powerbomb position, and carries him to the edge of the ring, before tossing him outside to the arena floor.

“Mah GAWD,” cries Axis, “Jack just powerbombed Wildchild outside the ring!”

Jack quickly steps through the ropes to the ring apron as Ejiro starts to get to his feet. As Wildchild slowly starts to stand up, Jack leaps off the ring apron, and pushes Wildchild face first back to the arena floor.

“Whitechapel faceslam,” crows the King, “and Ejiro’s starting to climb the ladder!”

“No, dammit,” pleads Axis. “Not this way!”

Jack picks Wildchild up in a bent position, grabbing him in a front face lock, and picking him up in a vertical suplex position, before driving him down to the floor with the Ripping!

“The Ripping,” screams Axis. “The Ripping on the outside! And Ejiro has his hands on the European Title! Dammit! Not like this!”

Jack is standing over Wildchild, screaming obscenities that cannot be heard over the roar of the crowd, as Ejiro unclasps the European Title from above the ring, and clutches it tightly to his chest as he falls from the ladder, down to the mat as the referee calls for the bell.

“I told you,” sings Suicide King. “I told you Ejiro would walk out here with the title!”

“Not without a lot of help,” replies Axis.

“That’s irrelevant to the point,” replies the King with a smirk. “Besides, if Wildchild had just been smart enough to listen to Ejiro when he had the chance, he wouldn’t be in that position right now.”

Funyon stands up from his ringside seat to make the official announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, and still SJL European Champion, Ejiro Fasaki!” The crowd reacts to the news with a loud chorus of boos, and some fans even thrown debris into the ring.

The camera focuses on Ejiro lying on his back in the ring, clutching the European title to his chest, as Axis can be heard in the background: “Mah Gawd, Ejiro Fasaki just walked through hell to retain the European Title. And this conflict between him, Wildchild, Jack the Ripper and Johnny Dangerous is just heating up! Mah Gawd, what’s going to happen next week?”

As we:

FADE OUT

November 1, 2002

OPENING PROMO

Stuff happened. You should read it. Appartently the champ booked himself into a feud and a match... you can imagine my surprise.

NO SHOW AND DIE MATCH

Spike Jenkins vs. Christian Fury

Well, Jenkins lives, and wins.

SINGLES MATCH

James Morin vs. Dace Night

It's been a hard Dace Night, and he's been working like a dog.

SNGLES MATCH

Mike Van Siclen vs. Logan

Craptastic. Do not read this.

HARDKORE MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Jack The Ripper

A rather interesting match if I do say so myself. Ripper wins.

EUROPEAN TITLE LADDER MATCH

Fasaki retains in someone else's match! I won't say who, that's for the author to divulge.

Card forthcoming.

Sign In

Crimson, October 31st!!!!

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