The Gnomes...Strike Back

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Kinetic suggested it and I modified it to suit my purposes.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

And you could have a group of gnomes with a sign saying "we're family" in blood...

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Or do a repeat of the infamous Lynn vs Corino from ECW and have one gnome lying covered in it's own blood with "DIE" written on it's chest and above it is another gnome that has a bit of blood on it's fingers.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

CWM- Have you ever considered trying to get some money out of this? Not much, just enough to break even on the costs of the gnomes themselves and the supplies.

 

Have a gnome holding a white flag saying "These are our demands....." with a list of things that you could use.........

 

If they don't pay, have another gnome come back saying "You've made a terrible mistake and the blood of the innocent shall now be on your hands, not ours."

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

It's crossed my mind. But that's black mail which is a felony. So I think the risk outways the possible benifts

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

Wouldn't hurt to try though.......just wear latex gloves while writing the demands letter so even if you get busted for the previous offences, they can't trace you to that one.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Here's some freaky bible verses.

 

jer:26:15: But know ye for certain, that if ye put me to death, ye shall surely bring innocent blood upon yourselves, and upon this city, and upon the inhabitants thereof: for of a truth the LORD hath sent me unto you to speak all these words in your ears.

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JOEL:3:18: And it shall come to pass in that day, that the mountains shall drop down new wine, and the hills shall flow with milk, and all the rivers of Judah shall flow with waters, and a fountain shall come forth of the house of the LORD, and shall water the valley of Shittim.19: Egypt shall be a desolation, and Edom shall be a desolate wilderness, for the violence against the children of Judah, because they have shed innocent blood in their land.20: But Judah shall dwell for ever, and Jerusalem from generation to generation.21: For I will cleanse their blood that I have not cleansed: for the LORD dwelleth in Zion.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

You could also have a rogue gnome who tries to save your neighbours and in the end gets hung.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

heh the rogue gnome sounds like an interesting idea.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Don't try any funny business with money or anything. This is about vengeance, and torment, not turning a profit.

 

When it starts snowing, the gnomes need to build a snowman. Build all the balls down in the park or something, and import them in the back of a truck. If you use the snow in your yard, that would be conspicuous.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Yeah but we don't get snow for another few weeks/months...if at all.

 

The last few years have had very little snow where I live.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

you could do a Gnome Jackass with a bunch of them in a shopping cart with a few lying in various positions around the yard surrounded in fake vomit

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

But...you live in canada. Canada=igloo.

 

HEY, that's the ticket. Get like 10 of your friends and build a fuckin' gnome igloo. That's rather impractical though. If they've got a chimney, drop a santa gnome down there on christmas eve.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

Freeze some gnomes around there house. Like on a cold night, put gnomes around, like on the driveway, lawn and maybe porch if you can get close enough, then hose them down with cold water so the gnomes get frozen onto there property. If the weather holds up, it'll be a pain in the ass to remove them.

[Guest Some Guy]

CWM, if you do get a fair amount of snow you should build a snow man and put gnomes inside the thing, so when spring comes and it melts the gnomes will fall out.

Or get a plastic bucket fill it with water put a Gnome inside it and freeze it. Shake the Gnome cube out of the bucket and place it on their front steps with a Gnome standing next to it with the "Infidel" sign.

Light a Gnome on fire so it gets fucked up, put the fire out and so the "Infidel" thing.

 

Gnomes torturing Gnomes=ratings.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Wicked ideas guys.

 

I couldn't do the Resseruction last night because the mother fuckers were watching.

 

So this gives me a chance to plan it out better. How should it go?

[Guest The Metal Maniac]

Get some kind of a container...something you can fit a gnome into, and put a rock in front of it. Stick a gnome in there.

 

3 days later, put the container back, but with no gnome. Then in the backyard, put the gnome there, surrounded by other, bowing gnomes.

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Get some fishing wire. Tie the wire to the gnome. Bury the gnome under a tree (if they have a tree) in their yard. Put the wire over a branch and drag it out to the bushes or somewhere out of sight. Maybe gets some lights, some music to get their attention. When they come out to see what the fuss is about pull the wire and let the Gnome rise from the ashes...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Paint the gnome all white and make it look angelic, give it a halo, and have it standing upon a rock while the other gnomes stand around it holding palm fronds.

[Guest AM The Kid]

With the infidel idea...have a gnome lying at their door covered in blood without a head, at their door with a piece of paper in it's hand saying; "I am risking my life for your safety, please believe me. The one who is..." and then have a big scrawl. Put fake blood all over the paper too.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Put a noose around a gnome's neck and hang it right at their doorway. Who wouldn't shit themselves opening the door and seeing that?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Paint the gnome all white and make it look angelic, give it a halo, and have it standing upon a rock while the other gnomes stand around it holding palm fronds.

This is what I ended up doing as it was simple and had less chance of me getting busted.

 

and it worked perfectly. *I* almost freaked, and when the nembers saw it they DID scream.

 

I think I'm driving them insane...

[Guest Bosstones Fan]

I think I'm driving them insane...

You don't feel bad about that, do you?

[Guest MaxPower27]

You should slip a note underneath their windshield wiper:

 

"you are never GoiNg tO find ME"

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

The key to this is to balance out subtlety with fear. Don't bother with blood and hanging and DIE carved in their foreheads and shit. It's WAY scarier to see a bunch of gnomes sitting around reading the bible, or playing tennis than it is to see one gnome drenched in red paint.

 

Foley put it really well in his first book. Paraphrased.

 

"When some guy gets drunk and tears a bunch of shit up, his buddies will no doubt say 'He's crazy, man.' That's not crazy, that's stupid. Once, at college, I saw a guy sitting on the floor naked eating brownies. He wasn't messed up or anything, he was just relaxing. I'd much rather face several drunks than one naked brownie eater."

 

I think you should have the gnomes have a trek across their yard, or up a tree. Have them make basecamp, then after the idiot neighbors destroy them, put them back a few feet to the left of where they were, like it's some horrible arduous progress. After a few days, they might notice that they're heading for the back door. When they get about 4 feet away, just keep putting them back in that place for a while, then have them suddenly turn right.

[Guest AM The Kid]

Make them American gnomes, flag and all. Get them to have a thanksgiving meal in the backyard.

[Guest Angle-plex]

You could write a letter to the local newspaper. Make it from the Gnomes to the neighbors.

 

Or, do the video thing. Just have a whole bunch of gnomes in a room, use lots of crazy camera work, and have one of your friends move the gnomes around when the camera isn't on them. Meanwhile, have the soundtrack to the movie "Poltergeist" playing in the backround. At the very end of the video, have a close-up on one of the Gnomes faces. Then put the video on your neighbors doorstep (after making a few backups and wearing gloves).

 

Black and white film would be much creepier, too.

[Guest Lord of The Curry]

<------ is going out to Canadian Tire for some gnome shopping in an hour.

[Guest Angle-plex]

I suggested the Gnome idea to my friends, but they thought it would be funner to egg a house instead.

 

Another cool one would by to put a Gnome on their lawn. When they break it, take it and glue it back together. The next night put it on the exact same place where it was the night before.

[Guest The Electrifyer]

Foley put it really well in his first book. Paraphrased.

 

"When some guy gets drunk and tears a bunch of shit up, his buddies will no doubt say 'He's crazy, man.' That's not crazy, that's stupid. Once, at college, I saw a guy sitting on the floor naked eating brownies. He wasn't messed up or anything, he was just relaxing. I'd much rather face several drunks than one naked brownie eater."

 

I know now, you should make naked brownie eating gnomes!