The Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 14

[Guest TSMAdmin]

NWA:TNA Week 14

 

Welcome back everyone as its been almost a month since I brought you my last NWA:TNA review (Week 9 & 10) and guess what....they’re still in business! Not only that, but after three long months of dealing with Cablevision’s ineptitude, they’ve finally smartened up and have decided to carry TNA every week, meaning I’ll be able to BRING THE CONTENT~! weekly, guaranteed!

 

On that note, I’d like to give a BIG thanks to Jose Suazo who helped me out big time by allowing me to come over and order TNA from his place whenever possible. Also a big FUCK YOU to Cablevision for making me travel three hours every Wednesday on the train in the middle of the summer so I can get to a different cable network. The only downside is that there aren’t any CHERRY ITALIAN ICES~! around here, but I’ll deal.

 

With that said, it’s time to recap!

 

LIVE from the TNA Asylum (Nashville Fairgrounds in Nashville, TN), your hosts for the evening are Professor Mike Tenay and Idiotic Don West.

 

We start with the former Road Dogg and X-Pac, BG James and Syxx-Pac on their way out for a promo. Syxx-Pac still looks the same, of course, with his Underoos. However, BG James now has bleached hair and a bleached handlebar mustache complete with Lou-Albano like beard. He resembles Goldmember more than the old Road Dogg. Some lame rhymes later, he calls out Ron “The Truth” Killings telling him that while he may be the future of wrestling, Syxx-Pac and BG James are the past and present, respectively. Well, he didn’t say respectively but he might as well have. He reiterates that he wants GOOOOOOOOLD....and hands over the STICK~! to Pac who says “NWA is sendin’ Low-Ki to do a job against Ronny Killings that one of the two of us should be doing”. He’s right about that one! They want the “Suntan Superman”, calling themselves “White Kryptonite” and then quoting Inner Circle’s COPS theme, “Bad Boys”, before The Truth comes down to the ramp to rebuke their arguments. The crowd gets an “Over-ra-ted” chant going as The Truth speaks.

 

Before Killings is coerced into getting in the ring, Jeff Jarrett makes his presence known to point out that Scott Hall isn’t there for their scheduled six man tag later on tonight. It was supposed to be JJ, Brian Lawler and Elix Skipper against Hall, Pac and BG James. BG confirms that Hall isn’t in the building, which leads to JJ challenging both guys to a handicap match. With their attention turned to Jarrett, BG and Pac get ambushed by Lawler and Skipper but dispose of them quickly, setting up the match for tonight.

 

Mike Tenay thanks Cablevision viewers for getting them clearance and when I get a better Cablevision insult than the one I was about to use, I’ll let you guys know.

 

They go to the ring with...

 

The Amazing Red vs. Shark Boy

 

Match Background: The only time that these two have met to my knowledge was in Week 9, when the SAT’s met Kid Kash, Shark Boy and Slim J in a 6 man tag match.

 

The Match: The match starts out with both men trying to gain an advantage with armbars and hammerlocks as the fans are solidly behind the future Shark Man. “Prime Time” Elix Skipper joins the announcers to complain that he was taken out of the main event tonight to make it a straight up tag match. What was the whole point of the first segment then!? Shark Boy gets a dropkick to the knee and starts to work the leg as Skipper starts agreeing with The Truth’s assessment of racism in TNA. At least his character is consistent, I like that. Red with a leg lariat and tries to follow up with a clothesline but gets caught with a hangmans neck breaker for two. Shark Boy works the leg some more as we see that Mortimer Plumtree is near the entryway taking notes. I haven’t seen him since Week One, when he was managing The Johnsons. The less said about those two, the better. Red tosses Shark Boy to the outside and fakes a dive to the outside before Shark Boy takes advantage again with a facebuster. In a nice touch, Skipper states on commentary that the winners in the main event get paid more, therefore, he wanted to be in it. It’s little details like that that can make matches seem a little more important. Missile dropkick by Shark Boy for two. He throws Red over the top, press style and then hits a pescado! Vertical suplex by SB on the outside. SB, back in now, goes for a somersault tope and barely grazes Red, but it’s sold anyway. Red gets the advantage on the outside and then goes back in for a tope con hilo that DOES hit! Back in now, Red gets caught on the top rope as Shark Boy hits a top rope Jackhammer for two. Red comes off the second rope and somewhat catches Shark Boy in a neckbreaker for a two count. Skipper is ANGRY~! that his wife will be disappointed when he comes home with empty pockets and assures us that SOMEONE will feel his wrath tonight. Shark Boy again with the advantage now as he hits the Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust or Somersault Stunner in the corner) for a near fall. Shark Boy goes for it again but gets reversed into a Reverse DDT! InfraRed followed by the Red Star Press for the pinfall! Skipper takes his headset off and starts attacking Red from behind, culminating in a GORGEOUS Tilt-a-Whirl RockBottom maneuver. a member of security comes in and Elix makes his pay with the Play of the Day. He should teach Randy Orton a thing or two about executing the move as he botched it HORRIBLY on Raw this past week. Eventually, security (read: Don Harris) is able to calm Skipper down.

 

My Opinion: Solid if a bit sloppy match, which didn’t really do much for either competitor. Red didn’t sell any of the leg work and Shark Boy tried his best, however, this match did WONDERS for Elix Skipper. If he can be able to channel all of the things he said on commentary into a good promo, he’ll have a character as developed as The Truth. A feud could be what elevates either Red or Elix up the X-Division ranks....geez, I sound like Tenay. *3/4.

 

A video package recaps the Jerry Lynn-Truth lumberjack match from last week along with the interference.

 

Goldilocks is in the back with Low-Ki (that IS how you really spell it) who makes a backhanded comment about Syxx-Pac before stating that The Truth dispises the X Division because it takes away from his spotlight. He hits his long ass catchphrase: “It’s not the size of the fighter but the size of the fight he will bring. All you can do it Be....Ready...” and we’re out. ‘Ki’s mic skills aren’t bad, but his words are somewhat monotone and very articulate that it seems like he memorized his promo.

 

The SAT’s music hits as we are prepared for the tag match but The Truth comes down to the ring first. He grabs THE STICK~! and tells Low-Ki that he’ll give him the match NOW because he took exception to his comments. Truth’s mic skills have really improved since he debuted in TNA.

 

The Truth vs. Low-Ki for the NWA World title.

 

Match Background: For the past few weeks, The Truth has been upset that the X Division has gotten more attention that the Heavy’s and had two matches with X Champ Jerry Lynn. The first match was marred in controversy and in the rematch last week, Low-Ki’s interference caused Lynn to get the pinfall on the NWA World Champion and he’s PISSED.

 

The Match: Either the interview backstage was taped or Low-Ki must have gotten dressed pretty damn fast because he’s all taped up and ready to go. He runs into the ring only to get stomped a few times by the Champ. Truth just WAILS on him before Low-Ki gets some chops in. Dropkick to the knee by Low-Ki to set up.....the 3-KICK COMBO~!!! Truth rolls to the outside after the third and final kick in the combo to recover. On the outside, Truth gets the advantage back by whipping him into various guardrails. ‘Ki gets a brief moment of separation and tries to use the guard rail as a springboard but gets a leg lariat from Killings and FLIES into the third row! Truth and ‘Ki brawl in the crowd, with Low-Ki ending up getting whipped into the side of the ramp. Killings rams an equipment case into the ribs and wrist of Low-Ki! Truth back in now and taunts the crowd before going for a cover. Truth tries another cover with his feet on the ropes for two. ‘Ki tries to make a comeback but can’t because his ribs are bothering him too much and ends up getting the scissors kick by Killings. Mortimer Plumtree is once again at the top of the ramp, observing and taking notes. Killings with a sitting surfboard stretch but Low-Ki gets a kick to the head to get away momentarily. Truth comes back with a sloppy version of the Regal Stretch (!), working on the ribs. The crowd chants “Low-Ki” as The Truth gets distracted by them. He taunts them once again as ‘Ki comes back with a somersault kick (that Truth leaned into) for two. Two STIFF KICKS~! by Low-Ki before Truth gets a Downward Spiral to take the advantage back. Double underhook armbar by Killings before he tries to use the ropes for another pinfall attempt. With ‘Ki on his shoulder, he gives the crowd a Ric Flair-like PELVIC THRUST~! before powerslamming Low-Ki. Man, he is HEELING it up tonight. Truth goes up and misses a beautiful 450 splash! Low-Ki comes back with chops, holding his ribs and hits his springboard roundhouse kick, injuring his ribs some more! Damn, he’s getting good at selling. Another STIFF KICK~! by ‘Ki, followed by a flying forearm. Crossbody attempt is caught by Killings, but he can’t keep his balance and ‘Ki floats over the ropes and puts him in the Bite of the Dragon! (Dragon Sleeper while on the ropes, Tarantula style). He goes for the ‘Ki Krusher, but he can’t pick him up due to his injured ribs and Truth rams him into the corner. Mexican Stretch Buster by The Truth for a CLOSE two! Truth sets him up for the Truth or Consequences, but ‘Ki reverses it into the Dragon Clutch! Truth elbows him in the ribs to get out and hits him with a flying forearm! He head to the top, but gets caught by Low-Ki with a kick. He goes for a superplex, but Truth hits his face first suplex (The True Conviction) off the top for the win!

 

My Opinion: Truth’s best match that I’ve seen yet. Keep in mind that I didn’t see his last two matches with Jerry Lynn. His work blends in with the X style well and ‘Ki’s selling has really gotten to be top notch. The clean win surprised me, but it was the right result as both guys ended up looking good. The psychology was very tight by Low-Ki and I’d love to see a rematch in the future. Killings is really learning how to heel it up and I LOVE IT. ***.

 

He grabs THE STICK~! before someone dressed in all white (including a hood) attacks The Truth from behind. Yay....ANOTHER mystery man angle in TNA.

 

The SAT vs. The Flying Elvises.

 

Match Background: Back in Week 8, The SAT’s (Joel and Jose Maximo along with Red) faced the Flying Elvises when they were still a trio. The Elvises got the win after Siaki “stole” the pinfall from his teammates. This time, its just the Maximo’s vs. Yang and Estrada, the only Elvises left. According to Tenay, the winner of this match receives a tag title shot next week.

 

The Match: Mortimer Plumtree is out again taking notes...and its only during X matches. Estrada and Jose Maximo start off, with Jose getting an UGLY head scissors takeover on Estrada. Drop toe hold and dropkick to the face by Jose. Estrada gets a springboard DDT for two. Yang in now and he takes out Joel Maximo with a spinning wheel kick before posing in the ring. Yang with the BEST stomps in the business now....Jose off the ropes, stops short before Yang “hits” a dropkick and Jose sells it. Headscissors by Jose and he tags in his portly brother. Joel takes the advantage with a belly to back suplex on Yang. Yang twists out of a hip toss attempt and hits a neckbreaker before tagging in Jorge Estrada. Estrada irish whipped into the corner now...Joel rushes in as Estrada moves out of the way and straddles the second turnbuckle Bronco Buster style. That bothers me SO much. What kind of damage would you do with your opponent with that? I’ve NEVER seen anyone hit that. Estrada hits a neckbreaker on Joel in that position and goes for the cover. Yang in now, Tiger Flipping Moonsault, but the SAT’s come back with sandwich dropkicks for two. Some more double team moves by the SAT, Jose misses a dropkick to the face and Joel continues the doubleteam with a sit out powerbomb. The fans chant “Yang Time” as Yang recovers and hits a BEAUTIFUL moonsault onto Joel for two. Double clothesline by both guys. Former Flying Elvis, Sonny Siaki starts watching the match from the ramp. Yang with an enziguiri, but Joel follows up with a DDT. The SAT’s mistime a “hot tag” segment as Jose has to wait til Estrada comes in to do anything....and suddenly Estrada is a HOUSE EN FUEGO~! Estrada with the Trip to Graceland (forward fallaway roll slam) and then a quebrada for two. Estrada with a twisting springboard senton for two. Guillotine legdrop misses and Jose takes over again. German suplex almost gets a three as Yang and Joel are brawling on the outside. Estrada gets his hip toss/neckbreaker that he calls the “All Shook Up” when Siaki jumps onto the apron and asks for a tag, despite not being in the match. Estrada, for some dumb reason attempts a tag, but Siaki pulls away allowing Joel to put Estrada on his shoulders. Jose goes off the top and hits a DDT on Estrada from that position (Maximo Explosion) for the pin and the tag title shot next week.

 

My Opinion: As I’ve said before, when the SAT’s are off....they’re way off. Both brothers blew spots tonight and the finish was really goofy. *1/4.

 

In the back, Goldilocks tries to get a word with Siaki, but Jerry Lynn attacks him behind to get some revenge for costing him his first match with The Truth in Week 12. Seconds later, in a very funny moment, AJ tries to “hold Jerry back” by putting him a crossface chickenwing and telling him to stop....allowing Siaki to get some blows in. Siaki dumps him in an equipment case as AJ jumps on it and says “hey man....what’s wrong with you!” That’s just great stuff.

 

Sonny Siaki vs. David Young:

 

Match Background: None. This is David Young’s first match in TNA since Week 3 when he faced AJ Styles in his first X Division Title defense.

 

The Match: The announcers keep reiterating how David Young is focused now that he’s gotten rid of Bobcat, who according to West almost ruined his ENTIRE CAREER. Young gets the early advantage with some arm drags and a back body drop. Young tries a baseball slide to the outside, but Siaki moves out of the way. Young comes back with a nice Asai moonsault onto Siaki. In the ring, nice ‘rana by Young. Siaki comes back with some right hands. Sonny puts Young in the Tree of Woe and gives him a few running headbutts to the midsection. That’s something relatively new. Young gets a Northern Light suplex for two. Siaki goes for a somersault legdrop but only grazes Young. Both men exchange chops before Siaki gets an overhead belly to belly into the corner on Young. Siaki signals for the Money Clip, but Young hits his spinebuster, which Tenay says is one of his specialties. Instead of going for the cover, Young decided to head up top and goes for a moonsault, but misses. This allows Siaki to get the Money Clip and the win.

 

My Opinion: Young was finally able to show me something, however, it wasn’t much. I’d like to see more of him though, with a better worker to see what he can pull out. I like the fact that they are trying to build new stars, but I’m not sure that Siaki deserves it. ¾*

 

There’s a recap of the Storm/Harris vs. Harris/Lee tag title table match, followed by an interview with Ron Harris and Ashley Hudson. He reminds his brother, Don Harris, to remember their pact from last week.

 

Ron Harris & Ashley “Ozzy” Hudson vs. James Storm and Chris Harris for the NWA World Tag Team Titles

 

Match Background: James Storm and Chris Harris have faced Ron Harris and Brian Lee three times in NWA:TNA and have beaten them every time. After last week’s loss, Ron Harris decided to get another partner to face the tag champs. This is Ashley Hudson’s first match in NWA:TNA.

 

The Match: Ashley Hudson has a pro-Australia gimmick, which gets “USA” chants. Long opening sequence ends with Storm giving Hudson a head scissors before tagging in Chris Harris. Doubleteam bulldog gets a two. Ron comes in and gets a missile dropkick by Storm followed by a crossbody by Harris. God, I hate Harris’. Harris tags in Hudson who takes over and gets a superplex. It looked like Ashley slipped off the top...ouch. Harris in and he takes control with a few clotheslines. Hudson back in as he chokes Storm with his wrist tape. Big boot to Storm by Ron. Sideslam by Ron Harris. Ashley misses a second rope headbutt AND misses an elbow, setting up the hot tag to Chris Harris who is a HOUSE EN FUEGO~! He hits the Catatonic on Hudson (Fallaway slam into Rockbottom that D’Lo Brown has been doing lately) but the count is interrupted. Ron goes for another big boot but Harris puts Hudson in the way who eats it instead for the win.

 

My Opinion: Formulaic tag match. Harris just don’t do anything for me. This Ashley guy is a pretty damn good bumper though. *

 

After the match, Ron Harris attacks his partner for dropping the ball before NAILING Harris and Storm with chairshots. Security comes down to restrain him, but Ron isn’t able to be taken down. The SHOWDOWN~! between the brothers occurs and Ron pushes Don....and Don punches Ron. God, no....PLEASE don’t do this to me. I can’t take a Harris brother feud!!! Ron walks away and I’m spared this week. Harris and Storm have to be restrained as they want Ron Harris in the ring again. Ugh.

In the back, the Elvises are trying to help Jerry Lynn.

 

AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn for the X Division Title in a Ladder Match:

 

Match Background: This has been NWA:TNA’s longest running and best feud to date. It all started in Week 2 when AJ Styles pinned Jerry Lynn twice in the double elimination X Division match to become its first champion. The next week, AJ Styles and Jerry Lynn became NWA tag champs. They began to have some respect issues and had MANY physical altercations, but all seemed to have been worked out. In a match with Low-Ki, Jerry Lynn was on the verge of winning when AJ turned on him, causing a triple threat match in Week 8 between those three where Low-Ki pinned Lynn to win the X title. The following week, their NWA tag titles were held up after a controversial double pin. In week 10, it seemed as though the feud was coming to an end as they had a best two of out three falls match to determine the number one contender for Low-Ki’s title. Tied at one fall, the final fall came under IronMan rules which ended in a draw. This led to another triple threat match, however, under ladder match rules where Jerry Lynn pinned Low-Ki to win the title. So far in NWA:TNA, AJ Styles has yet to be defeated in a one on one match and was never pinned for any of the titles that he lost.

 

The Match: Jerry Lynn has the WORST music in NWA:TNA. AJ attacks Lynn as he enters the ring, targeting the neck immediately. Lynn back with a dropkick, but AJ get his vertical suplex into hangmans neckbreaker. AJ brings the ladder in and places Lynn on it before slingshotting himself onto Lynn. AJ goes to the outside where he seesaws the ladder into Lynn’s face. In a VERY cool spot, Mr. JL dropkicks the ladder, which wraps around the ring post and smacks AJ right in the face! Lynn sets the ladder up to for the title but AJ brings him down. He tries to irish whip Lynn into the ladder, but Jerry ducks and AJ runs underneath it before Lynn pushes it over into a rebounding Styles! The ladder in the corner now and Lynn gets whipped into it. AJ goes for a Tornado DDT, but it looks to be reversed into a Northern Light into the ladder...however, in a cool improvisation, AJ notices that the ladder is about to fall, stops short and side slams Lynn. AJ climbs the ladder in the corner, but Lynn gets the springboard sunset flip powerbomb (or the MurderDeathKill bomb to some). Very cool move, but why was AJ trying to climb the ladder in the corner? Mortimer Plumtree is once again by the ramp, as Lynn clotheslines AJ. Lynn lays the ladder down between the 2nd and 3rd ropes and gets a fireman’s carry onto it. In another very cool spot, AJ lionsaults onto Lynn who is still on the ladder prompting a “Holy Shit!” chant! AJ heads for the title, but Lynn pulls him down. Sonny Siaki appears on the ramp, watching the match as well. Lynn rams the entire ladder into AJ in the corner. Lynn starts climbing the ladder, but AJ dropkicks him off. AJ bridges the ladder between the ring and the guardrail and tries to suplex Lynn on it, but gets suplexed himself. What’s that rule again...you set it up, YOU eat it. Lynn back in the ring now, tries to climb the ladder but AJ tips it over and Lynn crashes onto the ref. AJ with a chair now but in a sequence that you MUST see, Lynn blocks the chairshot, takes it away, ducks a spinning heel kick and legdrops AJ’s face into the chair, opening him up! Lynn goes for the title, but AJ gets underneath him on the second rung to powerbomb him, but THAT’s reversed into a ‘rana off the ladder! Lynn goes back up.....but gets belly to back suplexed off. Both men climb the ladder....and Lynn SUPER-plexes AJ off the ladder! Both guys landed rather awkwardly. Lynn climbs the ladder and AJ tries to kick him off, but Lynn jumps off and nails AJ first. Lynn heads to the top turnbuckle but Siaki tries to pull him off. Lynn shakes him off and nails him with a cross body to the outside! Styles with a springboard Spiral Tap onto Lynn on the outside! AJ comes back into the ring....climbs the ladder...and retrieves the title! He is UN-defeated in one on one action! Lynn and Siaki begin brawling at the top of the ramp before Styles bails Siaki out and begin the doubleteam. The SAT’s, the Elvises and Shark Boy all come out to get them out of the ring.

 

Before all is said and done though, Bullet Bob Armstrong comes into the ring to dispute the title win. He orders a rematch for next week (another ladder match) and gives the title back to Jerry Lynn. This was truly BS as Siaki never hit Lynn AND most ladder matches are NO DQ anyway.

 

My Opinion: Good match between the two but it wasn’t the blowoff that it should have been. AJ still looks nearly invincible in a one on one situation, yet the way the title was just handed back to Lynn didn’t help him at all. Hopefully, next week we can get a proper end to this feud that seems to have gone forever. ***1/4.

 

BG James & Syxx-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett and Brian Lawler

 

Match Background: Somewhere in the past two weeks, I must have missed where Lawler and Jarrett stopped hating each other and became allies. BG James was the Masked Bullet (well, not at first) and he was feuding with Jarrett. I’m not too sure where Syxx-Pac comes in. Dammit, I hate playing catch up. As most of you know, BG James used to be Jeff Jarrett’s Roadie in the WWF and the then X-Pac defeated Jarrett in a hair vs. hair match at SummerSlam ’98.

 

The Match: BG James comes out with THE STICK~! and the word bitch is used about 10 times in 30 seconds in reference to Lawler, Jarrett and Lawler’s “girlfriend”, April. Brian Lawler HAD the heel act down a few weeks ago, but now he’s back to the overreacting comedic heel that doesn’t draw a dime. Taking offense to some of Syxx-Pac’s comments, Lawler charges up the ramp, getting nailed by BG. BG and Lawler begin brawling in the crowd as JJ and Syxx-Pac do the same. In the ring now, JJ nails the Kid with a nice dropkick but gets a spinning wheel kick off the next whip attempt. Lawler in now and gets a belly to back by Syxx. BG in now as he and Lawler exchange middle fingers. JJ distracts BG allowing Lawler to get his superkick in. Bulldog to BG for two. Second attempt is reversed by BG, leading to the hot tag to Syxx. Sit out powerbomb onto Jarrett for a nearfall. Spinning wheel kick onto Lawler. Bronco Buster onto JJ. An X-Factor is TOTALLY botched....how the hell do you botch that??? The ref is distracted and Elix Skipper runs down and X-Factors Syxx-Pac. The ref back in now its a very close nearfall. BG takes out Skipper as JJ works on Syxx in the ring. JJ crotches ‘Pac on the ropes. JJ and Lawler try to double team ‘Pac but he gets a double clothesline and the hot tag to BG. Double noggin knocker (oh, how I HATE that) by BG. Syxx clotheslines Jarrett out of the ring as BG whips Lawler into Skipper who was standing on the apron. Pumphandle slam by BG (complete with Doggy Style humping) for the pin!

 

My Opinion: Decent match as it looks like the former X-Pac is now motivated. It was nice to see Road Dogg after nearly two years, but I have a feeling that his welcome won’t last too long. I really can’t stand Brian Lawler’s over the top character. **.

 

JJ and Skipper attack BG and ‘Pac after the match and Amazing Red comes in after Skipper. Skipper takes him down though and heads to the top but Red’s boys, The Maximo’s, come in and hit the SPANISH FLY~! off the top! JJ comes back in and nails BG and ‘Pac with chairshots as The Truth comes in and helps them with the beat down. JJ nails EVERYONE with chair shots as we fade to black.....

 

Overall: The first event on Cablevision was decent, but not mind blowing. The best match left a really bad taste in my mouth due to the retarded booking. Hopefully next week will be better.....and I’ll know, because I’ll BE HERE~!

 

‘Til next week,

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez.

 

You know what to do.