SJL Crimson, March 2nd

[Guest crusen86]

SJL CRIMSON CARD

Venue: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia!

Commentators: Axis, Edwin MacPhisto, and our special guest, Sacred, who is eeevil and straaaange!  Read his latest promo (board name -Muzza-) on the SWF board for a sense of his character!

 

I THOUGHT WE KICKED HIM OUT?

Wicked Style vs. ...Johnny Generic?

-What the hell?  Well, in any case, there's a new jobber smasher in town...

 

THE BIG MAN IS BACK!

The Dark Reaper vs. Kojack

 

TV TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

Ced Ordonez vs. Mike Van Siclen

GUEST REFEREE: Shawn Brody!

-Brody can write a match, but he doesn't have to.  If you do, just make sure one of those guys wins.

 

THEY'RE GONNA WRITE THIS TIME, I SWEAR!  TRIPLE THREAT

Thomas "Tom Cat" Menias vs. NBK Josh Tupper vs. Mafia

-First fall wins.  Woo!

 

THE SMARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE IGNWF CONTRACT TOURNAMENT

 

All right kids, here's the breakdown!  On this special occasion of a new network, so to speak, we the JLCC proudly bring to you a special tournament!  The prize for the victors?  A pair of IGNWF contracts, signed, sealed and delivered!  This is a double elimination tournament: we will begin with 8 wrestlers, each competing in singles matches.  The four victors will move on to a Winners Round, and the four losers a Losers Round.  It works like this: 2 victories, and you've made it to the finals.  2 losses, and you're out.  You'll see how it shakes out as we get to the next card, but what it boils down to is this: at a climactic show, there will be two singles matches, the finals of the tournament.  The victors walk away with free rides to the big leagues.

 

This tournament won't last more than two weeks, so I encourage you to keep your storylines running.  People will gradually be eliminated, so within a week, some competitors will be back in the regular mix of things.  Good luck to all, and here's your first round!  All matches are straight-up singles matches, unless otherwise noted!

 

KETCHUM'S CHOICE EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH

Erek Taylor vs. Ash Ketchum

-Ash'll announce the stip when he chooses to do so, and this is both for the Euro belt and a win in the tournament...

 

Xero vs. Flexxx

 

Annie Eclectic vs. Renegade

 

MAIN EVENT

K-Os vs. Low Brass

[Guest crusen86]

…SJL Crimson stylez! The latest SJL show, which happens to be Crimson, hits screens across the world, live from the Rod Laver Arena in the hellhole that is Melbourne, Australia. The crowd is stupid Victorian morons scream their heads off, because they are, uh, stupid. A limited amount of fireworks crackle on the entrance way, the SJL’s tight budget being stretched to the maximum thanks to the Australian tour. Finally, after much carry on, the commentary table comes into view. Your regulars, Edwin MacPhisto and Axis, sit at the table. Plus, a third guy. His name is Sacred, he’s evil, and he’s the SJL US champion.

 

Axis: Welcome to the latest romper stomper SJL show – Crimson! We are coming to you live from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia! And let me tell you, Melbourne sucks just like Victoria!

 

Sacred: …Wuahaha… It sure does. I may be evil to the bone, but evil I realises just how much Victoria and everything in it sucks.

 

Edwin: …Wha…?

 

Axis: Every state in Australia hates Victoria, because they suck.

 

Edwin: Oh, righto then. Anyway Crimsonholics, tonight sees the beginning of a new tournament! 8 competitors will compete in a double elimination series to determine who gets one of two shiny, new, all expenses paid SWF contracts! Yah!

 

Axis: Tonight, stars like K-Os, Low Brass, Xero, Ash Ketchum plus more will compete in an 8 person tournament to see just goes to see the glitz and glamour of the SWF.

 

Sacred: They should probably star here though. In the SWF, they’ll have to contend with an evil me. Wuahaha…

 

Edwin: Erm, right. But without any further or do, let’s get going with our next match up! Wicked Style, the JL’s newest jobber will collide with… Erm… Johnny Generic…

 

Sacred: …How unevil.

 

Axis: Johnny Generic…? Um, ok… Funyon, it’s yours…

 

Funyon: Welcome to SJL Crimson! The first match up is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Aulburn, England… Wickeeeeeeeeeeeed Stylez!

 

Gloomy, a Gergorian Chant plays throughout the arena, and the bunch of disgraceful Victorian’s boo the jobber into another timezone. Wicked Style doesn’t particularly care, and slides into the ring, awaiting his opponent.

 

Axis: I don’t think the fan’s think much of him Edwin… Sack him.

 

Edwin: A good suggestion… Noted.

 

Sacred: Well, at least he seems evil… But now as evil as me! Wuahaha…

 

…The SJL theme kicks up, accompanied by no other effects whatsoever! Johnny Generic, wearing generic black tights, generic black boots and generic kneepads, makes his way down to the ring, walking with the least amount of charisma possible!

 

Funyon: Now, making his way to the ring, from the most generic city in wrestling - Death Valley, Texas, weighing in at a generic weight and standing at a generic 6’1” height, Johnnnnnnny Genericccccc!

 

He slides into the ring, with no emotion on his face whatsoever!

 

Axis: …Well, he looks generic.

 

Sacred: That he is. He’s more generic than the Generic Guy from Genericville.

 

Edwin: Very generic. But will he be able to turn it on in the ring!

 

DING DING DING

 

The match immediately gets under way, Wicked Style charging towards Johnny Generic. Johnny delivers a perfectly timed generic right hand! Knocking Wicked Style down to the mat! Wicked tries to get back to his feet, but before he can realise what’s happening, Johnny grabs Wicked around the head with one arm, and around the thigh with another. Johnny quickly spins Wicked around one eighty degrees, and pushes Wicked down to the mat with a Generic scoop slam!

 

Sacred: A scoop slam. How original. Damn, I’m so evil…

 

Axis: Johnny hooks the leg… A pinfall attempt after a right hand and a scoop slam? The hell?

 

Edwin: …Classic stuff!

 

ONE… TWO…

 

Wicked manages to narrowly avoid the third count, rolling the shoulder at two! Johnny shows no sign of emotion whatsoever, climbing back up to his feet. He jogs backward a bit, then comes off the ropes, dropping his right leg across the face of Wicked with a leg drop! Johnny makes another pinfall attempt…

 

ONE… TWO…

 

Axis: Johnny able to roll the shoulder at two!

 

Sacred: Damn, this Johnny Generic is more generic than Axis.

 

Axis no sells that comment!

 

Edwin: Erm, yes. Johnny is bewildering his opponent with generic offence!

 

Johnny still shows no emotion after the near fall. He gets back up to his feet, Wicked doing the same thing. Johnny, generic as a flash, grabs Wicked once more, flips him around… Scoop slam! He drops to the mat, cover!

 

ONE… TWO…

 

Edwin: Rolls the shoulder. Ok, this is ridiculous. Two scoop slams, a leg drop and a right hand? Bah.

 

Axis: …I second that.

 

Sacred: WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Johnny gets back to his feet, lifting Wicked with him. He generically whips Wicked into the ropes, causing your average thud. Generic heads over to the corner, picking up Wicked in position for a scoop slam. However, instead of dishing out another scoop slam, Johnny climbs up to the top rope. Once there, the pushes Wicked off his shoulder, dropping him to the mat with a top rope scoop slam! Oh the humanity!

 

Axis: Top rope scoop slam!

 

Edwin: …

 

Sacred: …

 

Axis: Hey, I have to at least try to make this interesting.

 

Johnny hooks the leg generically…

 

ONE… TWO… THREE!

 

DING DING DING

 

Funyon: Your winner, Johnny Generic!

 

The referee tries to raise Johnny’s arm as the SJL theme kicks up once more, but Johnny is already walking his uncharismatic generic ass up the ramp.

 

Axis: …Johnny just made Wicked look quite stupid there.

 

Edwin: That he did. A few scoop slams, a leg drop and a right hand was all that was needed to put the jobber away. Good thing he’s fired now.

 

Sacred: I’M EVIL! WUAHAHAHAHAHHA!

 

Axis: Queue da commercials, yo…

[Guest crusen86]

Edwin: Welcome back and get comfy in your chair folks because we are about to start another match up.

 

Axis: The Dark Reaper returns tonight to face Kojack.

 

Edwin: Well Kojack picked up a win after attacking Wicked Styles on Metal. And Ian Coull is coming back from 2 months of rest.

 

Axis: This is going to be a dandy.

 

*DMX Party Up kicks in as the crowd boos. Then Kojack walks down the ramp and slides into the ring. Funyon looks scared as Kojack grabs the mic from him. The crowd is still booing as Kojack waits from them to quiet down.

 

Kojack: “Well on Metal my partner lost his T.V title. And Brody you better watch out because he aint coming after your shiny new title. I AM! I’ve been waiting for months for a one on one title shot and what do I get? I fight and fight for all you people and what do I get? I give my blood, sweat, and tears for all you people and them in the back and what do I get? I get to fight newbies and returning guys you couldn’t even pull of a decent move. So from now on it’s the great way for me and nobody can stop me. And anybody who tries to get in my way will join the rest in the ass kicked club”.

 

Axis: Strong words by Kojack.

 

Edwin: Well he had enough of this.

 

*Control by Puddle of Mudd goes up on the speakers as the crowd cheers. Then two white shots of pyro come out as The Dark Reaper Ian Coull walks down the ramp. The crowd pops as The Dark Reaper slides in the ring. The ref signals for the bell as both men circle the ring.

 

Ding, Ding, Ding.

 

Axis: Both men are power oriented with a little technical mixed in.

 

Edwin: Ian Coull has a little more weight and height but Kojack isn’t a small man.

 

*They start off with a collar and elbow tie up in the middle of the ring. Then Kojack gets behind Ian Coull and locks in a hammerlock. The Dark Reaper hits a few elbows to get out of the hammerlock and locks in a headlock. Kojack launches The Dark Reaper off the ropes and hits a shoulder block. Then Kojack bounces off the ropes and jumps over The Dark Reaper. On his way back, The Dark Reaper hits a hip toss and send Kojack to the mat. Kojack quickly gets back up and runs into another hip toss. Kojack gets up again and hits two kicks to the gut. Then Kojack grabs The Dark Reapers arm and puts it behind his back. Kojack locks it in for a few seconds before The Dark Reaper reversing it. Kojack delivers a few elbows to the head of The Dark Reaper and then hits a scoopslam.

 

Axis: Both men are getting very technical right now.

 

Edwin: I wanna see some action! Pull off some of those power moves people!

 

*Kojack bounces off the ropes for a fist drop but The Dark Reaper moves out of the way. Kojack quickly gets up from his knees and sees a flying Dark Reaper smashing his knee into Kojack’s face. Kojack falls hard into the canvas and checks for blood. The Dark Reaper kicks Kojack and picks him up. The Dark Reaper hits a few punches as Kojack teeters to the ropes. A woozy Kojack gets whipped into the ropes and runs into a clothesline. Kojack falls down hard again into the mat, as The Dark Reaper is ready to pick Kojack up. But in the last second, Kojack sweeps the legs of The Dark Reaper and sends him falling down with a big thud! The sound echoes throughout the whole arena as the crowd encourages The Dark Reaper to get up.

 

Axis: Can you hear the crowd who is behind The Dark Reaper?

 

Edwin: Ian Coull has made some fans over the years and it’s coming in handy right now. He needs to get all the momentum he can get.

 

*The Crowd goes wild with the chant of “Reaper”. Kojack yells at them to be quiet and goes back to work of The Dark Reaper. Kojack hits a few rights to the skull of The Dark Reaper and slings him to the ropes. The Dark Reaper ducks under the coming clothesline of Kojack but gets hit with a European uppercut instead right in the jaw. The Dark Reaper falls to his knees and starts checking his jaw to see any damage. Once his hands go off his face, The Dark Reaper sees Kojack flying to him with a power clothesline and connects with it. The Dark Reaper falls down hard on the back of his head as the crowd goes silent with the Reaper cheers.

 

Edwin: Kojack has taken away the momentum that the crowd has given The Dark Reaper.

 

Axis: Kojack going to work with some stomps on The Dark Reaper right now to the back of the head.

 

*The Dark Reaper slowly gets up from all the stomps to deliver a right hand that is blocked and shot right back at him. The Dark Reaper tries for another right hand but it is blocked and is given a knee to the gut instead. While The Dark Reaper is down, Kojack hits a thunderous DDT on the Dark Reaper. The Crowd explodes in boos as Kojack quickly gets up and starts stomping the big man. The Dark Reaper makes an effort to get up but is still under the fierce kicks of Kojack. Finally Ian Coull gets up and is whipped into the ropes. As he returns, he sees Kojack ready for a back body drop and kicks Kojack in the chest that sends him up. Then The Dark Reaper grabs Kojack’s neck with both hands and lifts him up to hit a massive Coull Bomb (Double handed Choke Slam). The Dark Reaper falls in exhaustion as the crowd chants Reaper.

 

Axis: This crowd is going wild right now! They want to see the reaper beat Kojack here tonight!

 

Edwin: The Dark Reaper must have bribed all these people on his leave of absence!

 

*The Dark Reaper is the first one to get up but Kojack quickly follows. Kojack tries for a right hand but is blocked and The Dark Reaper sends it right back into Kojack’s face. Kojack tries for a clothesline after bouncing off the ropes but The Dark Reaper ducks under it and grabs Kojack and locks in a bear hug. Kojack tries to get out but The Dark Reaper gains some momentum and hits a bear hug slam.  Kojack’s back id driven into the cold, hard canvas as the crowd pops. The Dark Reaper shows no mercy and starts stomping on the fallen Kojack. Kojack manages to retreat into the corner and eventually out of the ring for a breather. The Dark Reaper follow Kojack to the outside and starts a fight there where The Dark Reaper smashes Kojack’s head into the announce table.

 

Edwin: You idiots! Get away from the equipment! You’re gonna ruin it all!

 

Axis: Well the battle has spilled to the outside with The Dark Reaper still taking control.

 

*The Dark Reaper takes and stunned Kojack and throws him back into the ring. Kojack manages to get up with the help of the ropes but The Dark Reaper is already in the ring and hits a clothesline on Kojack. Kojack quickly gets up again to be knocked down with another clothesline. Kojack crawls to the corner to find The Dark Reaper stomping a mud hole in Kojack. The ref manages to pull The Dark Reaper off Kojack and gives him a little warning. Kojack takes advantage and hits a thrust kick right when The Dark Reaper turns around. Kojack falls on his knees to rest as The Dark Reaper lies on the mat. Kojack gets up and makes The Dark Reaper sit on his bum. Then a Kojack step back and hits a spine kick. The sound fills the arena as The Dark Reaper falls back down.

 

Axis: What a sound from that kick that echoed throughout the arena!

 

Edwin: That is a sickening sound! And Kojack has really taken the advantage right now!

 

*Kojack picks The Dark Reaper and lifts him up for a press slam. Kojack shows his power and lifts The Dark Reaper up in the air for a good 5 seconds before dropping him on his back. The mat shakes as the body of The Dark Reaper comes crashing down. Kojack goes back to work quickly and starts stomping on the ribs and back of The Dark Reaper. Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up for a suplex but The Dark Reaper quickly gets out of it in mid-air and counters it with a kick to the gut and followed by a Crucefix (Faarooq’s Dominator). The Dark Reaper pins Kojack and hooks the leg.

 

One, Two, T….

 

Axis: Kick out! The Dark Reaper has come back from an assault from Kojack.

 

Edwin: Well this match has been good but I think the best is about to come.

 

*The Dark Reaper gets up and picks up Kojack. The Dark Reaper whips Kojack into the corner but is reversed and The Dark Reaper is whipped into the corner. Then Kojack charges to the corner at full speed and charges into the elbow of The Dark Reaper. Kojack teeters and totters as The Dark Reaper grabs Kojack and puts him over his shoulder. Then The Dark Reaper goes in position and hits the Darkside (Rikishi Driver). The head Kojack is impaled into the canvas and Kojack falls on his neck. The ref checks to see if Kojack is all right and is greeted by a shove from Kojack. It looks like the ref is going to end the match but doesn’t as the crowd cheers. The Dark Reaper picks up the tired Kojack and gives him a shot to the gut. Kojack goes down and feels the legs of The Dark Reaper coming down on his head for a scissors kick. Kojack goes down right after the kick as the crowd pops once again. The Dark Reaper crawls over Kojack and manages to hook the leg.

 

One, Two, Thr….

 

Axis: NO! He got his shoulder up off the mat!

 

Edwin: Well Kojack really needs to get something going its soon going to be over.

 

*The ref goes to see if Kojack is ok just to feel the hard shove of The Dark Reaper. The ref goes down but is all right and lets the match continue is slowly getting up. The Dark Reaper puts Kojack between his legs for a powerbomb but instead feels the ball crusher (low blow). The Dark Reaper goes down in pain as Kojack rests in a corner. Kojack soon goes back to offence as he punches The Dark Reaper. Kojack whips The Dark Reaper to the ropes and waits for him to come back. When The Dark Reaper comes back he sees Kojack sliding between his legs to get behind him and lift him up for a Flat Jack (Full Nelson Slam) Kojack gets the big man high in the air before throwing him down with authority. The Dark Reaper goes smashing into the mat hard as Kojack bounces off the ropes and drops an elbow. Kojack goes for a pin but The Dark Reaper quickly kicks out. Kojack insults the crowd a bit and picks up The Dark Reaper. Kojack delivers a few shots and ends with a kick to the gut. Then Kojack puts The Dark Reaper’s head under his arm and hits the elastic in one swift motion. Kojack puts all of his weight on The Dark Reaper and hooks the leg.

 

One, Two, Th…

 

Axis: OHHHHH A kick out!

 

Edwin: The Dark Reaper has too much strength to loose right now.

 

Axis: Kojack is showing his strength right now. That is his key to success.

 

Edwin: True but The Dark Reaper has strength too and used it a lot in this action packed match.

 

*Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up and sets him up on the top turnbuckle. Kojack gives The Dark Reaper a European uppercut for good measure and then sets him up for a superplex. The Dark Reaper fights back with punches and shoves Kojack off. Kojack manages to land on his feet as The Dark Reaper stands on the turnbuckle. Kojack quickly runs into the ropes and makes The Dark Reaper fall and land in an awkward way. Kojack hits a chop the chest of The Dark Reaper and puts him on his shoulder. With The Dark Reaper on his shoulder, Kojack runs to the opposite turnbuckle and hits a Jack Slam (Running Powerslam). Kojack hooks the leg of The Dark Reaper as the ref slaps his hand down for the count.

 

One, Two, Th….

 

Axis: Kick out! It’s not over yet folks!

 

Edwin: Kojack is getting impressive every day! He is showing his best right now!

 

*Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up for a Jack Bomb but The Dark Reaper fights his way out of it. The Dark Reaper hits a few punches and bounces off the ropes. The Dark Reaper tries to hit a clothesline but Kojack ducks under it and lifts The Dar Reaper up for a K.O (Sky High). The Dark Reaper ends up getting out of it again and tries pull off a Scythe (Standing Urange Suplex) but Kojack hits 3 elbows to get out of it and send The Dark Reaper back to the ropes. The Dark Reaper bounces off the ropes and sees Kojack in position for a back body drop. The Dark Reaper telegraphed it and kicks Kojack in the gut instead. The Dark Reaper goes for the scissors kick but Kojack lifts The Dark Reaper up for a backdrop. The dark Reaper manages to get a hold of a rope and give him major help getting out of the move. Kojack turns around to see the foot of The Dark Reaper about to kick him right in the face and ducks out of the way in the last second. Kojack chop blocks the right leg of The Dark Reaper and tries to lock in The Torque. The Dark Reaper struggles by kicking and manages to shove Kojack off from locking in the Torque. Kojack falls down and notices The Dark Reaper going for a leg drop and gets out of the way. The Dark Reaper hits the mat as Kojack quickly gets up and uses his speed and drop kicks The Dark Reaper.

 

Axis: What action in this match!

 

Edwin: Both men can’t hit a move without the other getting out of it some how.

 

Axis: It is very entertaining!

 

*The Dark Reaper quickly gets up and manages to kick Kojack hard in the gut. Kojack is down as The Dark Reaper goes for the scissors kick again and the crowd cheers. The cheers turn into boos as they see Kojack grab the leg of The Dark Reaper and knock him down to lock in the Torque! The Dark Reaper yells in pain as he tries to get to the ropes.

 

Axis:  TORQUE! TORQUE! The Dark Reaper needs to get of it quickly before Kojack really puts on the pressure.

 

Edwin: This move hurts! It can also deal major damage you your leg, foot, and ankle.

 

*Run Away by Linkin Park kicks in as Kojack lets go of the Torque on The Dark Reaper. MVS and Melissa walk down the ramp and Melissa goes on the ring apron and distracts the ref. MVS grabs a steel chair as Kojack holds The Dark Reaper in place.

 

Axis:  MVS has just come in as it looked like Kojack had the match won.

 

Edwin: Well MVS is about to smack The Dark Reaper in the head with that chair.

 

*MVS slides into the ring and lifts the chair up in the air. MVS brings down the chair to smack The Dark Reaper with it but The Dark Reaper gets out of it in the last second. This results in MVS smacking Kojack with the chair instead. Kojack goes down like a pile of bricks as The Dark Reaper takes advantage and throws MVS out o the ring. The ref hears The Dark Reaper yell and turns around to see The Dark Reaper pinning Kojack.

 

One, Two, Three!

 

Axis: THE DARK REAPER WON! THE REAPER WON HIS FIRST MATCH BACK!

 

Edwin: I can’t believe it! MVS accidentally hit Kojack with the chair instead.

 

Ding, Ding, Ding.

 

Funyon: “Here is your winner, The Dark REAAAAAAPER!

 

*The crowd goes wild as Control by Puddle of Mudd fills the arena. The Dark Reaper gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp. In the ring, Kojack slowly gets up as MVS helps him up. Then Kojack shoves MVS away as Melissa looks on. Both men get in an argument and Kojack walks off in anger.

 

Axis: Well Kojack aint happy with his partner.

 

Edwin: Can this be the end of The American Wild Side?

 

*Fades to commercial.

[Guest crusen86]

We return to SJL Crimson with all guns blazing, the fans in attendance roaring and waving their signs like there's no tomorrow!  Hopefully that energy will carry over to the next match!  Seeing as I haven't yet typed nad instead of and, and counting my blessings that I haven't, I'll send it over to Axis and Edwin Macphisto, who are tonight joined by everyone's favorite evil Aussie, Stryke!  No… Sacred!

 

"(Sacred) Wuahahahahaha!"

"(Edwin) Dude!  That's an excellent way to open a segment!"

"(Axis) Jeez, this is going to be a long night… hello everybody, welcome back to SJL Crimson!  Axis, alongside Edwin Macphisto.."

"(Edwin) Panda wrangler, at your service!"

"(Axis) And the former Sacred One, Sacred!"

"(Sacred) Wuahahahaha!"

"(Axis) Already tonight we've seen the return of Ian Coull, the former Reaper that is now the Dark Reaper, who just put on an excellent match with Kojack!"

"(Sacred) How is he the Dark Reaper?  He's not evil enough for me… wuahahahahaha!"

"(Edwin) Man, your laugh totally reeks of awesomeness!"

"(Sacred, looking mortified) It-it's not supposed to reek of (spitting) awesomeness (end spitting), it's supposed to be evil!  WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"(Axis) Yeah… also, we've seen Johnny Generic absolutely blast Wicked Style to pieces!"

"(Edwin) Scoop Slam for life!"

"(Sacred) The Scoop Slam… ah, a truly evil move if there ever was one… wuahahahahaha!"

"(Axis) Yeah, right… and now, coming up next, Mike Van Siclen takes on Ced Ordonez for a title shot against Shawn Brody, with the newly turned Clansmen as the special referee!"

"(Sacred) The Clan is a truly evil stable… so K-Os will win.  WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"(Axis) But K-Os isn't in the match."

"(Sacred) But he's in the Clan!  Wuahahahahahahaha!"

"(Axis) Yeah, well… Edwin, your thoughts?"

"(Edwin, mimicking Sacred) WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"(Axis) That's lovely, really, but I'd prefer a pick for TV Title number one contendership…"

"(Edwin) Annie Eclectic!"

"(Axis) Jeebus, I work with a bunch of idiots… Edwin, if you ever watch this tape after a sudden growth of brain cells, FIRE ME!  Now then… send it to Funyon.  Funyon?"

 

"(Funyon) Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL!  And it is for number one contendership to the Smarks Junior League Television Title!"

 

The eerie intro of Stabbing Westward’s “Darkest Days” starts to emanate from the PA system. The slow jingle of bells and the beat of a drum catch the fans’ attention as they turn their heads to the entranceway. The lights dim and start to strobe against the black velvet curtains as the anticipating fans await his arrival with the music growing in volume. A figure in a black robe steps out from behind the curtains to a mass of mixed emotions from the fans as flashbulbs start to pop and sparkle all around. He strides to the ring with his black robe flowing behind him, boos echoing in his ears, overcoming his music in volume. He rolls into the ring as flashbulbs start to sparkle once more, battling the strobe lights in a flashy war.

 

“(Funyon) Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, tonight's special guest referee!  Weighing in at 227 pounds, representing the Clan, ‘THE FALLEN ANGEL’ SHAAAWN BRODY!”

 

He takes off his black robe and hangs it over the ring post and starts to stretch, warming up for the match. He waits with his back braced against the turnbuckle, his head tilted downward, focused.

 

"(Axis) Listen to those boos for the truly evil Shawn Brody!"

"(Sacred) Axis, do you say I'm not evil?"

"(Axis) We-"

"(Sacred) WUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"(Edwin, laughing) Listen to 'im, Axis!  Wuahahahaha!"

 

A thunderclap echoes throughout the area and "Storm of Ambition" blares through the speakers. The music plays for few seconds before Ced makes his way out with a towel draped around his neck. The towel is dark blue and bears the same lightning design on his tights. As he makes his way to the ring, he slaps the outstretched hands of fans while the entrance lights intermittently flash to give a lightning-like effect. When he gets into the ring and does a quick warm-up jog around the ring before going to his corner and throwing the towel into the crowd.

 

"(Funyon) And the first wrestler, weighing in at 191 pounds, he hails from San Jose, California, CEEEEED ORDONEZ!"

 

The crowd roars for the facey Ordonez as Axis, Edwin and Sacred comment about him in the booth.

 

"(Axis) Many feel that Ced Ordonez is the most talented undercarder on the roster, and he's finally getting rewarded for his talents with this contendership match tonight!"

"(Sacred) But he is not evil, and therefore not talented! WUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"(Edwin) Listen to him, Axis, he might drop a plastic bowl on your head!  (chuckle)"

 

The lights go down all over the arena as "Runaway" by Linkin Park kicks up. Suddenly, a blue spotlight shines down on the entrance ramp, where Mike Van Siclen stands, arms outstretched, with Melissa right behind him clapping her hands and shaking her hips to the beat of the music. The chorus of the song starts as MVS stands cockily, bobbing his head slightly to the beat of the song.

 

"Now I find myself in question...

(You point the finger at me again...)"

 

The spotlight making Mike Van Siclen and Melissa shine goes off, and the only thing in the arena is the sound of Linkin Park once more...

 

"Guilty by association...

(You point the finger at me again...)"

 

WHAM! A huge blast of white pyro goes off on the stage, illuminating Van Siclen and Melissa in its glow. The lights come on, though dim, and Van Siclen walks down the ramp calmly, Melissa following behind, sliding in and posing on the left turnbuckles. After a few seconds he gets off his kick and walks around the ring.

 

"(Funyon) And Ordonez' opponent, weighing in at 237 pounds, he hails from Harrison, Illinois, the Amazin' one, MIKE VA-AN SIIIIIIICLEN!"

 

"(Axis) Listen to the noise for Van Siclen!"

"(Edwin) What noise?  He sounds like the ultimate tweener to me!"

"(Sacred) Wuahahahahaha!  I do not sense the evil force in Mr. Van Siclen.  Wuahahahahahaha!"

 

Ordonez offers Van Siclen his hand for a handshake, out of respect for Van Siclen.  Mike looks down at Ced's hand, then back up, grasping Ordonez's hand firmly and shaking it!  The crowd roars for this show of respect as the two slowly break apart, and a disgusted-looking Fallen Angel calls for the bell.

 

DING DING DING!

 

"(Axis) And this match is underway!"

"(Sacred) WUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

Van Siclen and Ordonez lock up quickly, MVS getting the advantage and muscling Ced back into the corner.  Mike clubs Ordonez with some forearms to the skull, then backing up and going to pancake him into the buckle, but as Van Siclen goes in to hit Ordonez the smaller man gets his shoulder into harms way, crushing MVS' sternum.  Mike backs off in pain, and Ced mounts to the second rope and jumps off, spinning 180 in mid-air and catching Mike in the temple with a back elbow!

 

"(Axis) Jumping, spinning back elbow by Ced Ordonez, and that'll leave a mark for Van Siclen to come back to!"

"(Sacred) Don't make me show you evil, Axis… Wuahahahahahahaha!"

"(Edwin) I'll show him true evil, Sacred!  Wheehehehehehe!"

 

Van Siclen goes down hard, and Ordonez quickly locks him in a reverse crucifix kneebar!  Mike yelps in pain as Ced simply tightens the hold, Mike using his hands to slowly push himself backwards to the ropes!  He makes it, ever-so-pained, and with every bit of strength he has flings his arm backward and grasps the rope!  Brody forces Ced to let go of the hold, which Ordonez does willingly.  Mike slowly stands up, met by Ordonez.  Mike tries for a stiff kick with his left leg, but Ordonez grabs it, stepping over and catching MVS with the step-over Dragon screw!

 

"(Axis) Step-over Dragon screw by Ordonez, and he's really going to work on Van Siclen's left leg!"

"(Sacred) Why did Brody break up the crucifix kneebar?  That break-up was truly disevil, if you ask me… wuahahahaha!"

"(Edwin) I must agree… but Ordonez is obviously targeting Mike's left leg, trying to set up the Cross Lightning!"

 

Van Siclen slowly stands up, and as he does he is met with a pumped-up Ced Ordonez, who grabs Mike's leg and hits him with another Dragon screw!  Van Siclen goes down hard, and Ordonez climbs to the top rope, coming down with a hard leg drop onto Van Siclen's legs!  Ced rolls off quickly as Mike brings his knees to his chest, clutching them in pain as Brody looks over, mildly concerned… or so it seems, as Shawn gives Mike's leg a good stomp as well!

 

"(Axis) And Mike gets even more pain to his legs!"

"(Sacred) This is one evil strategy by the usually kind Ordonez!  Wuahahahahaha!"

"(Edwin) Wuahahahaha!  I love laughing!  Wuahahahahaha!"

 

Mike slowly slides out of the ring, hoping to buy himself some more time but to no avail, as Shawn Brody is counting like a madman in the ring.  ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!  -Shit- thinks Mike to himself, rolling back into the ring as a wide-open target for Ordonez to give him another good stomp to the leg.  The crowd boos as Ordonez looks up, picking Van Siclen up and getting ready to hit him with an Armdrag… but decides against it, dropkicking Van Siclen in the leg!  The THWACK is heard throughout the arena as Mike goes down face-first, the crowd doing one loud intake of air as Van Siclen bounces off the mat, laying down nearly lifeless.

 

"(Axis) Nasty dropkick to the leg by Ordonez, and he's not sparing any offense on the Amazin' one."

"(Sacred) Oh yes he is.  He hasn't locked him in the Anklelock, a truly evil finisher.  Wuahahahaha!"

"(Axis, steaming) The Anklelock is not a finisher…"

 

Ced grabs Van Siclen's leg, scissoring it and turning it into the Reverse Figure Four, Ordonez's Cross Lightning finisher!  Mike yelps out in pain as Ordonez increases the pressure, locking MVS' leg in even tighter!  Mike slowly attempts to get to the ropes with his hands, but Brody kicks his arm out from under him!  Van Siclen releases his arm, but still has one free and just barely manages to get to the rope before succumbing!  Ordonez reluctantly releases the submission, but it's more due to sportsmanship than anything Brody said.

 

"(Axis) Ordonez looked to have had the match won, but Van Siclen JUST managed to hit the ropes!"

"(Sacred) Van Siclen sucks.  WUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"(Edwin) WUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

Ordonez picks Van Siclen up, bouncing off the ropes and trying to spear Mike, but MVS manages to catch Ced's head underneath his arm!  Working quickly, he grabs Ordonez's tights, lifting his legs into the air and bringing Ordonez down hard into the mat with an Impact DDT!  Van Siclen stands up, wobbling a bit on his good leg as he limps over to the ropes, climbing them with a mite of difficulty and turning, looking down at a slowly rising Ordonez.  As Ced completely rises… WHAM!  Van Siclen catches him with a diving spear, which is met with a louder reaction than he usually gets as the fans roar at Mike's comeback!

 

"(Axis) Mike Van Siclen is shifting the momentum here!"

"(Sacred) This momentum shift is evil… wuahahahaha!"

"(Axis) How the hell can… aw, screw it…"

"(Edwin) Come on Axis… say it…"

"(Axis) Say what?"

"(Edwin) Wuahahahaha!"

"(Sacred) Wuahahahaha!"

"(Axis, after a sigh) Fine… wuahaha…"

 

MVS gets up slowly, brushing his long hair out of his eyes, mouth wide open as he lifts up Ordonez, grabbing the much smaller man by the arm and whipping him into the rope.  Unsteady, his left leg in immense pain, Van Siclen bends low, catching Ced for the back body and grabbing his legs, sitting out for the huge spike back body drop!

 

"(Axis) VAN SLAMINATOR!  Mike Van Siclen just hit the Van Slaminator on Ced Ordonez!"

"(Sacred) I'm sorry, Axis, that move simply isn't evil enough for me… wuahahahahaha…"

"(Edwin) Wuahahahahaha!  That move is evil enough for me!  Jeez, Axis, why can't this guy replace you?"

 

Van Siclen stands shakily, before collapsing with his arm draped over Ordonez for the pinfall!  Brody bends down and slowly counts the fall!

 

"(Brody) ONE!………….

 

 

TWO!…….."

 

Brody suddenly cuts off the count, sliding out of the ring and reaching underneath the apron, Mike standing up slowly and looking outside to see Brody with barbed wire around his arm!  He slides back into the ring, kicking MVS' leg out from under him as the crowd boos hard!  Brody lifts Van Siclen up, putting him into the Camel Clutch, and crossing Mike's arms together!  The crowd roars with boos as Van Siclen's face twists into a mask of agony, screaming in pain for Kojack, Ordonez, an actual referee, anybody at all to help him, but to no avail, as nobody runs down the aisle to Mike's rescue!

 

"(Axis) Where is Kojack?!  He's Mike Van Siclen's tag partner, he should be out here helping MVS out!"

"(Sacred) Maybe Kojack doesn't think Mike is evil… like Brody's submission!  Barbed wire is evil!"

"(Edwin, laughing himself hoarse) AXIS!  Give me a teddy bear!"

"(Axis, looking at his two comrades in disbelief) NO!  I'm disgusted by you two…"

"(Sacred) Wuahahahahahahaha!"

 

Van Siclen screams, his face gradually turning redder and redder as, finally, Brody shows a little mercy, kicking Mike's injured leg out from under him and sending MVS face-first into the mat.  The barbed wire leaves its mark, blood flowing freely out of the back of his head as Sacred tosses a mic into the ring, Brody catching it and speaking into it.

 

"(Brody) Van Siclen… you win.  I'll see you at Metal… if you can make it… but you won't… so says… the Clan."

 

"Darkest Days" by Stabbing Westward kicks up as Brody slowly exits the ring, turning around to walk backwards up the ramp as Mike lay in the ring, alternately clutching his leg, his arms, his neck, and the back of his head, all of which are bleeding.  He looks around, and the timekeeper throws him a towel, which he uses to clean the wounds as medics come out, two of them helping Mike two his feet and down the ring steps as he slowly sticks his hand up in the air, fist raised, for the benefit of the fans, cheering in the wake of the Clan's vicious attack on Van Siclen.

 

"(Axis) Well, folks, Mike Van Siclen is going to face Shawn Brody for the Television Title at Metal, but will the Amazin' one be in any condition to fight?"

"(Sacred) I doubt it… Brody's attack was almost as evil as my plastic bowl attack… wuahahaha!"

"(Edwin) Laugh out loud!  Laugh out loud!  Can I have your autograph!  Or a plastic bowl!"

"(Sacred) Give me a stuffed bear… I'll leave you something to remember me by during the break…"

"(Edwin) Yes sir, captain funny!"  Edwin stands up and hops the barrier, running to the exits and, presumably, to his car, where he'll drive to Toys 'R' Us and buy a stuffed bear for Sacred to do evil things to.

"(Axis, after a sigh) Well, while these two idiots are doing… whatever they're doing… you stick around, as there's more SJL Crimson coming up!  And later tonight, the SJL Contract Tournament begins!  Which two men or women will walk out of the SJL with a brand-spankin'-new SWF contract?  We won't find that out tonight, but we'll get a clue, so stick around as we've got more SJL Crimson for you, and it's coming up… next!"

 

Fade to commercial for the Suicide King "Heartbreakin'" T-Shirt!…

[Guest crusen86]

Back to the Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne tonight, as the newly-christened SJL is preparing for a night which will change the JL forever. After a shocking return of the Clan on Metal, in which they claimed to make Edwin MacPhisto’s life a living hell and takeover the JL, tonight’s Crimson is where hearts may be broken, and blood may flow…as a special tournament gets underway, with respect, dignity, bragging rights and a pair of SWF contracts on the line. A special guest is sitting in with Axis and Edwin tonight. That man being Sacred.

 

"(Axis) Yes, we are back on Crimson. Alongside my broadcast colleague, the Crown Prince of Flash and Panache---

 

“(Edwin) Eddie MacPhistOooo! Your SJL Commissioner, no matter what those dummys in the Clan think about it.”

 

“(Axis) Not to mention that Sacred is back with us…”

 

“(Sacred) This next match had best suit my devilish needs.”

 

“(Axis) I don’t believe that’ll be a problem. It’s Mafia, Thomas Menias, and Josh Tupper.”

 

“(Edwin) The self-proclaimed Human Submissions Machine, the Enforcer himself. The self-proclaimed Tomcat, who does as well with the ladies as yours truly. And the self-proclaimed Natural Born Killer, who enjoys sledgehammers, injuring people, evil deeds, watching the sunset and gardening. All of them in a triple threat match.”

 

“(Sacred) Well, that all sounds semi-evil. Not quite up to the level of evil required, but it’ll do.”

 

A jazzy beat rings throughout the arena, as Brian Setzer’s “Stray Cat Strut” kicks up. The females in the crowd scream and holler for the man about to make his entrance. Thomas Menias, the whole show and nothing but the show, struts out to no glitz or glamour whatsoever, twirling his cane as two ladies flank him on both sides, each girl arm in arm with the Tomcat. Funyon prepares inside the ring, shuffling reference cards around, now ready to make the introductions for the matchup.

 

“(Funyon) Ladies and Gentlemen. The following contest is a Triple Threat Match, schueduled for one-fall. First, from Kittery, Maine and weighing in at 239 pounds. Thomas ‘Tomcat’ Meniasss!”

 

Now at the bottom of the entrance ramp, the two girls each lean in to give Thomas a kiss, and they begin making their way backstage, as the fans in the crowd who like the chicks, holler and gaze at them longingly. Thomas climbs into the ring, and takes off his coat and hat politely. He walks over to hang the coat and top hat over the cornerpost, then places his fancy-schmancy cane under the ropes.

 

“(Sacred) Well this guy doesn’t look very much like he strolls along the path of the dark side.”

 

“(Edwin) He should hit Axis with his cane. Maybe that would be evil enough.”

 

“(Axis) Maybe you should shut the hell up for once.”

 

“(Edwin) Don’t worry, Axis. I still love you.

 

“(Axis) Joy.”

 

The two regulars and their guest argue some more, which is when the lights in the arena slowly dim to a faint glow. The remaining lights shine onto the Smarkstron as the sound of a loud siren cuts through the darkness and boos from the crowd, when suddenly a spinning red siren appears on the Tron. The words of “Natural Born Killer” then imprint themselves onto the screen and penitentary bars slam down over the words, which is when the screen goes pitch black and “Broken Wingz” by Twiztid echoes throughout the arena. The arena lights quickly go up as five quick blasts of fiery pyro emerge from the each side of the stage. When the last ignition of pyro is done with, echoing through the arena, the form of Tupper emerges from behind the entrance curtain as Melinda slowly follows from behind.

 

“(Funyon) And making his way down to the ring, accompanied by Melinda. From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada and weighing in at 250 pounds. The ‘Natural Born Killer’. Josh TUPPER!”

 

NBK slowly walks down the ramp, but stops suddenly. He takes a detour to hide behind the guard rail just off the side of the ramp, taking Melinda with him, as Menias ponders what he’s up to. “War Machine” by KISS then hits in the arena, and the crowd stands to greet the Hitman. The lights also go dark, except for flashes of color pouring down onto the entryway and ring. Multiple spotlights shining from each direction await Mafia and Candra on-stage, and they finally walk out once the lyrics to his theme hits, as the fans give a mixed reaction of sorts. Mafia stands at the top of the stage, as Candra stands with hands on her hips. No fancy poses, as both begin walking down to the ring almost immediately.

 

“(Funyon) Last, accompanied by Candra. Hailing from Denver, Colorado and weighing 215 pounds. MAAAFIA!”

 

“(Sacred) I’ve heard this guy is EVIL. Any confimation?”

 

“(Axis) Eh, not really. He’s just a jackass who thinks he’s bigger and more important to the fed than he really is. Surprisingly, he’s actually fought fair during the past couple shows.”

 

“(Sacred) Damn it. Where’s the evil?”

 

“(Edwin) You want a sip of my evil Pepsi?”

 

“(Sacred) If by evil, you mean that lemon-flavored crap they got out now… No thank you.”

 

“(Axis) I always thought evil people weren’t polite?”

 

“(Sacred) I’m too tired for any evil deeds right now. Maybe later I’ll attack the popcorn vendor or something.”

 

Mafia walks down the ramp, unaware of Josh Tupper waiting in the wings. He reaches the bottom, nearly in the ring, and Tupper attacks from behind with a Clothesline, catching Mafia off guard. Candra lets out a shriek and runs out of the way as the Referee inside the ring signals for the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Mafia falls to the floor and grabs the back of his neck, appearing to be out cold after the ultra-stiff shot from Tupper. Candra kneels beside and checks on him and Josh Tupper walks up to chase her off, as Melinda watches from the other side of the ring area. Tupper is about to go to work on Mafia, when Tomcat reaches over the top rope and drags Tupper into the ring by his head.

 

“(Axis) A nasty Clothesline to the back of the head from Josh Tupper, who is seeking retribution for Mafia’s attempt to put him out a couple weeks ago. But right now, Mafia had best hold some thanks for Tomcat, as no telling what the Killer was going to try.

 

Mafia sits on the outside against the guardrail, still stirring though, as Tupper elbows out of a behind waistlock applied by Menias. Tomcat shakes off the effects, and Tupper gets a spring from the ropes, charging towards Tomcat and knocking him to the mat with a Shoulderblock. Tomcat jumps up to his feet, and Tupper grabs his arm to whip him into the ropes. On the come back now, and Tomcat attempts to slide between the waiting Killer’s legs, but Tupper sees it coming and picks Menias up off the mat with a behind waistlock. Tupper pulls back quickly, and throws Menias across the ring with his superior strength, a result of the Release German Suplex. The Tomcat skids across the mat on his back nearly flipping over. Josh dives down for a quick cover, as Mafia gets to his feet.

 

“(Axis) Pin attempt!”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“(Axis) Mafia slides into the ring to break up the pin!”

 

Mafia brings Tupper up to his feet, and immediately gives him a straight kick into the mid of the same leg, which was injured a few weeks ago, just above the knee. Tupper goes down, and Mafia gives Josh a Mafia Kick to the temple. With Tupper down on his stomach, Mafia takes the injured leg and hooks it, then leans back and puts torque into it, locking in the Single Leg Crab. Josh claws to the ropes, as Mafia wrenches as best he can, constantly dragging Tupper back to the middle of the ring each time Tupper nears the ropes... as Tupper’s valet, Melinda, winces at the sight the submission.

 

“(Axis) This may be over as soon as it begins. He has that hold locked tight.”

 

“(Edwin) Let’s see him tap.”

 

“(Sacred) Please submit. I can’t take anymore of sitting next to both of you.”

 

As Mafia continues to keep the submission on, Tomcat comes to and gives a kick into the chest of Mafia, forcing him to release his grip. Tomcat brawls with Mafia, hitting left-right combos, and finishing things off with a hard Uppercut. Mafia falls to the mat dazed, but jumps back up straight away, and rakes the eyes of Tomcat. Menias staggers against the ropes, swatting at mid-air and attempting to fend off Mafia. Mafia though, slaps Menias across the face with a cheap shot, and quickly ducks behind, grabbing an arm into a Hammerlock, and underhooking Menias’ other arm. Mafia with a display of raw strength, lifts up the Tomcat’s body horizontal, then drops down and slams him onto his contorted arm. Menias rolls frantically on the ground and lets out a scream of pain, grabbing his arm. Mafia drops for a pin as Candra stands by and cheers.

 

“(Axis) Gangland Execution by Mafia!”

 

“(Edwin) And we have a pin predicament as well!”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“(Axis) Kickout!”

 

Menias kicks out and frustration shows on the face of Mafia, sure he’d get a quick pin. Meanwhile, Josh Tupper stands up off the mat, limping somewhat, and he begins to walk over towards Mafia. The Gangster catches Tupper walking up towards him out of the corner out of his eye, and once he turns around to prepare for an assault, Tupper’s foot lunges towards him as Tupper tries for a wild attempt for a Superkick, which he calls the Unsolved Mystery. Mafia catches the foot of Tupper, and flips him off in the process. Tupper becomes enraged, and before Mafia knows it, Tupper catches him upside the back of his head with a surprise Enziguiri. Mafia goes down like a falling tree to the kick, and Tupper rushes over to take advantage, as he wraps his arms around Mafia’s head, with a front-Facelock.

 

“(Axis) Mafia was taken off his feet by a well-placed Enziguiri from Tupper, but I don’t exactly know about Tupper taking Mafia down to the mat.”

 

“(Edwin) Well, why not? Mafia may be able to excel at that stuff, but NBK isn’t so bad himself. Do some research.”

 

“(Sacred) …Or maybe I should attack Ben Hardy. Everyone seems to love messing with him.”

 

“(Axis) Quiet, the both of you. And you’re not gonna be attacking anyone, so just drop it.”

 

“(Sacred) I’m evil. I’m in the business of attacking random persons. It’s what evil people like myself do---”

 

With Menias down in the corner, tending to his arm, the fans rally behind Mafia with the help Candra, in an attempt to help him break free of the hold applied by NBK. To no avail however, as Mafia appears to be fading quickly. As the Ref checks on Mafia, making sure he’s still in it, Menias takes the time to strike as he runs towards the two men on the other side of the ring. He grabs Tupper by the chin, then flips over and hits a Roll-Through Neckbreaker!  Muscle is stretched, and bones crack in Tupper’s neck and he drops the hold previously applied to Mafia. Not wasting any time, Menias walks over to the turnbuckle and begins climbing up. As he does, Tupper begins getting himself up off the mat, unaware of Menias waiting above him. Melinda warns him, to no effect, as Menias jumps off and outstretches his arm, hitting a Flying Clothesline from the top onto NBK. Menias rolls onto his feet smoothly, and goes for a pin, as Mafia watches the happenings, whilst laid up against the ropes.

 

“(Axis) A Neckbreaker followed by the Flying Clothesline! And now the pin…”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“(Axis) Broken up! Mafia gets a standing Leg Drop right on Menias.”

 

Mafia brings Tomcat up to his feet, and nails a left hand in on the jaw. A whip to the ropes now by Mafia, which is reversed. Tomcat waits on him in the center of the ring, but Mafia hangs on to the ropes. Tomcat rushes forth, but is body dropped to the outside by Mafia. Tomcat lands with a thud, and Mafia glances over the ropes at his handiwork. Mafia turns around towards the ring now, but the newly rejuvenated Josh Tupper charges towards and hits his trademark finisher, The Hit and Run! Tupper’s shoulder drives downward into the War Machine’s gut, and the impact of the spear knocks both Tupper and Mafia through the ropes and out onto the floor. The men collide with the outside mats, near the spot where Tomcat dropped mere moments ago.

 

“(Axis) Oh God! Both NBK and Mafia take a nasty spill through the ropes and to the outside. Should Menias come to and figure out what’s going on, he could roll one of these two in and get a pinfall right now.”

 

“(Edwin) Sick move by Tupper, and Mafia obviously takes the brunt of it, though NBK is definitely no better off.”

 

Tomcat appears to be getting up off the floor, after a few moments on the outside, as both Maifa and Tupper also move and make attempts to stand. Tomcat glances over and spots Mafia along with Tupper beside him, now taking his opportunity to bring NBK up to his feet and throw him into the ring. Tomcat winces and takes a breather before rolling into the ring to follow-up on NBK. Tupper lays on the mat, while Tomcat drops down with an Elbow to the neck. Afterward, Tomcat picks up Tupper once again, and hoists him onto his shoulders so that he hangs feet over head, with Tomcat holding the legs. As the sequence occurs, Mafia rests with arms outstretched against the barrier as Candra checks up on him. Back in the ring, Tomcat uses his slightly injured arm and all to whip Tupper forward forcefully, slamming him into the mat with an Angled Spinebuster. Candra warns Mafia that Tomcat is going down for a pin, and Mafia hurriedly jumps up onto apron, then climbs to the turnbuckle in wait.

 

“(Axis) Another pin!..”

 

“one”

 

As the Ref’s hand slaps down once on the mat, Mafia leaps into the air, and the fans stand as the cameras in the arena flash.

 

“Two!”

 

After two, Mafia flips over vertically 360 degress in a show of athleticism, and outstretches his leg.

 

“THR--“

 

“(Axis) Mafia with the Hangover on Tomcat!”

 

“(Sacred) A perfect Somersault Leg Drop from the top. He guillotined Tomcat right off the pin.”

 

Fans in the arena cheer the move, as Tomcat falls off of Tupper. Mafia sensing victory, goes for a pin, as NBK sits up.

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“THR--“

 

“(Axis) NBK dives over and breaks it up!”

 

Tupper goes after Mafia, attacking with repeated stomps into the ribs of Mafia. Mafia curls up on the mat, as Tomcat rolls off to the apron. Tupper picks up Mafia and whips him into the ropes. Tupper tries for the Clothesline on the come back, promptly ducked by Mafia. Tomcat stands up on the apron, and as Mafia runs towards him, Tomcat gets him with a punch to the face. Mafia staggers back stunned, and Tupper quickly spins him around, hooking his head into the ¾ face lock, and dropping down with a quick Stunner onto Mafia. Tupper taunts the fans, and drops down lazily and cockily for a pin. Before he does so however, Tomcat charges over and gets the Clothesling onto Tupper. Tupper jumps up off the mat, and Tomcat hooks Tupper up, wrapping his arm around the head and hooking his leg with the other arm. Tomcat brings Tupper over his head, and pins him down with a Fishermans Suplex, clasping his hands and locking in.

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“THR---“

 

“(Axis) Mafia gets over and breaks it up again! A thorn in the side of Tomcat tonight.”

 

Mafia crawls over with last bits of strength and pulls Tomcat off the pin. Tomcat looks up at the sky, and he appeals to the Referee, who exclaims that Mafia got to the pin just in time. Mafia sits on his knees, and Tomcat picks him up, hooks the head and sets him back down with a Reverse DDT. Josh Tupper is up to his feet, and figures he’d wager a deal with Tomcat, to double team Mafia. Tomcat would have no part in it, as he slaps away the extended hand of Tupper. Tupper becomes enraged, and he kicks Tomcat down low, then places him in the Standing Head Scissors, hooking the arms into the Butterfly. Tuppper jumps up and drives Tomcat’s head into the mat with a Pedigree. Tupper stands over Tomcat berating him, and forgetting about the third man in this match. Mafia stands on his feet, and grabs Tupper from behind hooking the head. Mafia quickly twists and turns the hold into a falling Diamond Cutter. Mafia wastes no time in going for a pin, and hooks the leg.  

 

“(Axis) Pedigree from Tupper on Tomcat, but Redemption follows afterwards! As Mafia gets one of his ever-dangerous moves on Tupper!”

 

“(Sacred) Nice.”

 

“one”

 

“Two!”

 

“THREE!”

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“(Funyon) Your Winner, by way of Pinfall! MAFIA!”

 

Mafia’s music hits as he rolls out of the ring and the Referee raises his arm. He falls back onto the outside barrier, exhausted, as he looks back at his clearly frustrated foes, the two fallen men, Tupper and Tomcat.

 

“(Axis) Done! Mafia gets a win under his belt, as he gets the pin after hitting the Redemption.”

 

“(Sacred) Only four more matches to go. Thankfully.”

 

“(Edwin) Don’t worry. Those matches will be filled with EVIL.”

 

“(Axis) Right. Up next is a Euro Title Match between Ash Ketchum and Erek Taylor, it’s the start of our tournament. So, stay with us.”

[Guest crusen86]

As the scene slowly swirls in from Australian commercials, a brief view of the suitcase with the European Title Belt locked inside is shown hanging 15 feet above the ring, surrounded with an eerie sense of greatness. Four ladders lie outside the ring, providing the transport that the competitors need to get the suitcase. The key, however, is hidden away. And thus, it begins....

 

"(Axis) And welcome back to Crimson, my Australian comrades!"

 

"(Edwin) Oh yes, welcomes indeed."

 

"(Axis) Well, we're beginning the first of *FOUR*, count them, *FOUR* tournament matches that will send the victors straight to the SWF!"

 

"(Edwin) Yes indeedy, my own personal idea."

 

"(Axis) Oh but there's more! My speedy British friend here has another surprise!"

 

"(Edwin) Oh yes, because our next match is between the High Flying Prince Erek Taylor and the Pokemaster Ash Ketchum, and since Ash has deliberately set a match up that he can win, I have decided to put the European Title Belt on the line as well! That's the title *and* the chance to advance to the next round!"

 

"(Sacred) I'm Evil...... booooooooooggggaaaaa booooooooooogggggaaaaa!"

 

"(Edwin) You sure are, my Sacred friend."

 

"(Axis) So why are we clogging up valuable air time?"

 

"(Edwin) Because I love wasting other people's money!"

 

"(Axis) Ah yes, anyways, let's get this one going on!"

 

All the harmonizing lights in this Rod Laver Arena put it all out, turning the arena into a place of living darkness. Slowly, the beats of "Elevation" begin to rise out of the bass speakers. Flashing and flowing pyrotechnics fall from the sky, imitating fine rain. A spotlight moves across the stage, following its invisible path until it sets on Ash Ketchum at the top of the ramp. The Pokemaster, in his Jericho like pose, waves the signature victory sign into the air and spins around.

 

"(Funyon) The following match is a Locked Suitcase match for the SJL European Title!!! The rules are as follows. The first competitor to unlock the suitcast hanging 15 feet in the air with a key hidden somewhere in this arena and bring the European Title down will be declared the winner!!! Introducing first, from Tampa Bay, Florida, weighing at 255 pounds, Ash............. KEEEEEETTTTTTTCCCCCCCHHHHHHUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!"

 

Ketchum, smile on his face, Misty somewhere backstage, walks down the ramp as the fans cheer in unison. Chants of "Ash! Ash!" slowly erupt until the volume causes everyone at ringside to cover their ears. Ash rolls into the ring and flicks the victory pose yet again, enrousing yet another wave of cheers. Or so it seems..... The lights in the arena have gone out again and in its place, flashing spotlights of many colors dance around the arena, going to the beat of "Toxicity". A revolving "X" slowly emerges on the Smarkstron and as "Toxicity" grows louder, pyrotechnics of giant measure erupt!

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!

 

The pyrotechnics leave a trail of smoke behind, concealing the curtains from the outside world. Gently, the lights resume their normal state and in the smoke, the shadow of Erek Taylor blazes down the SJL ramp.

 

"(Axis) And here's our reignign European Champion! Erek Taylor!"

 

"(Edwin) Man they're loud...."

 

"(Sacred) I'm eeeevvviiiiilllll....."

 

As it may seem, the fans are reaching deafening levels. Girls are screaming at the top of their lungs, men are chanting for the Flying Prince. The ladies want him, and the men want to be him. Erek Taylor spins around, the European Title not on his shoulder but it doesn't matter, Erek Taylor is *always* complete.

 

"(Funyon) And his opponent! From Anaheim, California, weighing at 215 pounds, he *is* the SJL European Champion!!!! EREK..... TAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYLLLLLLLOOOOOOOORRRRRRR!!!!!!"

 

The pure volume shakes up the very foundation in which the arena has been built upon. Erek Taylor jogs down the ramp and quickly rolls inside the ring. Taylor leaps up to the top rope, raising one fist into the air and pumping up the crowds to his own pleasure. Taylor hops back down and ignores Ash's extension of friendship.

 

"(Axis) Whoa!! COOOLLLLDDD!!!!"

 

"(Edwin) Seems Erek Taylor doesn't want to think Ash as a friend, but as another threat to his title!"

 

"(Axis) That can't be good!"

 

"(Sacred) Of course that can't be good."

 

Ash, embarassed, pulls back his hand and watches as Erek Taylor performs yet another pose on the turnbuckle. The referee quickly gets everything in order. Erek Taylor on this side, Ash Ketchum on the other side. The referee raises his hand in the air and slashes it down, signaling the bell and the match to begin.

 

***Ding ding ding!!!***

 

Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum begin to circle the ring simultaneously, eyes locked upon each other. Ash makes the first move, lunging forward for a grapple but he is easily predicted and Erek ducks under to raise a knee into Ketchum's gut. Ketchum stumbles over in pain as Taylor swiftly brings a roundhouse kick over the backside of the Pokemaster's head. The kick instantaneously brings Ketchum down to the ground, grimacing in pain as he tries to get back into the fray.

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor with a couple of moves and he's brought Ash Ketchum down."

 

"(Edwin) But the real question is, can he keep him down?"

 

"(Axis) I think we're about to find out."

 

Taylor steps away from Ketchum, squaring up in a martial arts crouch position as Ketchum slowly staggers up to his feet. Taylor makes it fast and painful, launching a foot up into the air at lightning speed, into the unexpected Ketchum.

 

WHAM!!

 

Ketchum falls like a pack of bricks and immediately, Taylor sets out to find the key to the locked suitcase. Rolling out of the ring, Taylor begins heading up the ramp, stopped midway as the Smarkstron flickers on with a message, a clue, a way to win. On the giant monitor, a short riddle.

 

"Two keys to the title, one fake and one real.

Who brings it to the ring first,

makes no sense for a riddle.

Follow this clue to the original,

and bring it back to retrieve the gold from its cradle.

Hidden inside the boundaries of evil,

the first key lies.

With a sense of commotion and a desire for pride.

The room of greatness surrounded with aura,

and under their throne, your key lies.

The second key, whether real or fake, is a question of the ages.

Under your noses it will laugh,

at your pitiful attempts to escape the wrath.

Whose nose, you might say...

A figure of greatness, and in sense, of power."

 

"(Axis) Hmmmmmm, boundaries of evil?"

 

"(Edwin) I have no idea what that crap says."

 

"(Axis) It's a really good riddle."

 

"(Edwin) Well then, solve it!"

 

"(Axis) I can't. Not yet, I have to think."

 

"(Sacred) But it seems Erek knows where to go! He's heading to the back now!"

 

Erek Taylor breaks off into a jog, heading to the back while inside the ring, Ash takes a look at the Smarkstron, then at the European Champion. He rolls out and decides to ignore the message, breaking off into a high speed run after Erek Taylor. The Smarkstron fades the message away and in its place, a live view of the backstage area. Erek Taylor is racing down the hallway, looking door to door at its panel until from behind....

 

 

WHAM!! A clothesline from Ash Ketchum! The Pokemaster stomps on Erek Taylor, bringing the European Champion to his knees before heading down the hallway. Ash looks from door to door, not knowing what to find. He races back to Taylor and tries to waken the High Flying Prince from his sleep.

 

"(Ash) EREK! TELL ME WHERE THE KEY IS!"

 

SLAP!

 

"(Ash) NOW!"

 

Erek Taylor slowly wakens but instead of giving Ash the answers, headbutts the Pokemaster and sends Ketchum rolling a few paces down the hall. Taylor staggers to his feet and as Ketchum gets up as well, the two engage in a fistfight. Ash, being the stronger of the two, gains the advantage easily and pummels Taylor back and back with rights and lefts. Taylor anticipates the next move and easily ducks Ketchum's punches and lays a backhand across the Pokemaster's chest. Ketchum staggers back and Taylor swings the tables yet again, decking Ketchum with a hard right. Taylor moves in for another, a third, a fourth, a fifth punch before bringing a boot into Ketchum's gut. The kick doubles Ketchum over and Taylor quickly moves into position and plants Ketchum to the floor with a DDT!!

 

"(Axis) OOOOOHHH!! DDT on to the floor!!"

 

"(Edwin) That's gotta knock him somewhere into next week."

 

Taylor shrugs Ketchum away and continues his search down the hall. Door to door, he looks for an unidentified object. Down the doors, Taylor decides to search inside rather than to judge from the outside. Opening this door here, Taylor peeks inside and.....

 

"(MVS) HEY!"

 

Wrong door. Taylor moves down the hall and gets into the cafeteria, looking around for something or someone. He spots what he's looking for and races across the cafeteria to meet..

 

 

 

 

BEN HARDY!!

 

"(Axis) What has Ben Hardy got to do with this?"

 

"(Edwin) HE'S THE EVIL GUY!"

 

"(Sacred) You gotta be kiddin me!"

 

Erek spins Hardy around and grabs the interviewer by the collar.

 

"(Erek) Hardy, tell me, anybody put anything unusual?"

 

"(Hardy) Um, I wouldn't know."

 

"(Erek) What the hell do you mean?! You don't know?! You've got no life. You hang around the hallways all the time, you've got to have seen something!"

 

"(Hardy) Well there was th-"

 

The cameraman is shoved aside and all sounds have been cut off for a second or two. Ash Ketchum lunges forward at Erek Taylor, who ducks under and shoots a punch into Ash's gut. Ash doubles over and Taylor quickly tackles the Pokemaster down before circling a hand around Ash's neck, cutting out his windpipe while punching him with hard rights. Taylor then looks to Hardy and mouths some inaudible words to him. Hardy answers back and Taylor breaks off into a run, letting Ash slowly stagger to his feet. The cameraman quickly puts back in the sound and races after the High Flying Prince.

 

"(Axis) Where's Erek going?!"

 

"(Edwin) I have no idea...."

 

Ben Hardy chases after as well and Erek races to a stop, right in front of a black door. He prepares to open it but Ash Ketchum comes running forward and pummels Taylor back with a high forearm. Taylor stumbles to catch his balance and when he does, scissor sweeps Ketchum to the ground. Hardy, panting heavily, comes catching up as Taylor drags Ketchum back to his feet and throws the Pokemaster hard into the wall. Ketchum staggers around, long enough for Erek Taylor to open the door up into the locker room of.......

 

 

 

 

 

THE CLAN!!! Immediately, K-Os, Brody, and Annie E jump to their feets, eyes piercing a hole through the door into the intensity of Erek Taylor.

 

"(K-Os) GET HIM!"

 

Erek looks around for a way out and spots Ben Hardy. Without even thinking, Taylor grabs Hardy by the collar and throws him hard into the Clan locker room and like a pack of hungry dogs, Chaos, Brody, and Annie E pounce on the interviewer, throwing punches and treating poor Hardy like a rag doll. Taylor darts across the room and pushes over the table, looks under and finds nothing. Taylor pushes over another chair, nothing here. Taylor races over and pushes the sofa over, EUREKA! A golden key taped to the bottom of the sofa! Taylor tries peeling it away but Shawn Brody dives across with a clothesline. Taylor ducks under and lunges a kick into Brody's gut, knocking him away before going back to the key. Before Taylor can peel it off, Annie dives forward and Taylor quickly falls on his back, letting Annie fly further than she expected. K-Os shoves the sofa over, almost crushing Taylor under it but the quick instincts of Erek Taylor makes Taylor rolling aside. The Clan comes in for a second attack as Erek Taylor quickly spins back up. Annie throws a right and Taylor quickly ducks under, lunges a fist into Annie's gut before leaping into the air and performing a dropkick to the sofa, knocking it over and once again, revealing the golden key.

 

"(Axis) There's the key again!"

 

"(Edwin) The room of darkness. Oh I see!!"

 

"(Sacred) Pfft, they call that dark. I can see everything."

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor's going Jackie Chan here."

 

Erek Taylor ducks another punch and backflips over the sofa, drawing the 3 Clan members forth. As the Clannies move forward with another attack, Taylor dives forward, pushing the sofa back to its rightful place as Taylor rolls on the carpet and back to his feet. The Clan goes back for another attack but Taylor leaps into the air and delivers a dropkick into the guts of Chaos and Brody, sending them staggering back. Annie, with her high heels, lets it all out and tries bringing her Italian shoe down on Taylor's face but Taylor rolls aside and dives towards the sofa, knocking it down and allowing him to peel the key away from its cradle. Taylor jumps back up, watching as three snarling Clannies, armed with vengeance, eye him intensely.

 

"(Erek) Um....... you guys rock!"

 

The unusual statement sends confusion through the Clan and allows Erek to break into a run. Taylor races out to the hallways and makes like a track and field star, heading back towards the ring.

 

"(Axis) And Erek Taylor's got the key!"

 

"(Edwin) Uh oh! Ash! Where are you Ash?!"

 

Taylor races down the hallways, with the black curtains so close, the entrance to the arena. He makes like a bullet but just as he's about to go through, Ash Ketchum steps out from the shadows and brings a kick into Taylor's shin, sending Taylor falling to the ground and rolling out to the stage. Taylor rolls out from the curtains, holding his knee in pain as Ketchum jogs out and strips the key away before racing down the ramp, grabbing a ladder, and rolling back into the ring!!

 

"(Axis) Ash Ketchum with the sneak attack! He's got the key now!!"

 

"(Edwin) Awwww, there goes Erek's European Title reign!"

 

"(Sacred) Pathetic JLers."

 

Taylor slowly limps down the ramp, shaking off the pain while doing so. Ash sets up the ladder beneath the case, and makes like a Pikachu, scurrying up the steps to get to the apple, in this case, the suitcase. Ash grabs a hold of the suitcase and pulls it down from its aerial patch. He places it on the very top step and starts putting in the key when Erek Taylor quickly slides into the ring and lunges forward with a dropkick, sending the ladder shaking and tumbling until it finally loses ground and topples over with Ash Ketchum still on!

 

"(Axis) OH DEAR LORD!!"

 

"(Edwin) Ash Ketchum just fell down *with* the suitcase and the key!"

 

"(Sacred) You call this a match?!"

 

Erek Taylor races over and snatches the key and the suitcase away from Ketchum's grasps, setting it in the middle and now trying to stick the key into the hole. But Ketchum proves that he's made for this league and grabs a hold of Taylor's leg, pulling the High Flying Prince away from the suitcase! Taylor tries reaching for it, trying to kick Ketchum off but it's no use, Ketchum's got Taylor where he wants. Ketchum quickly rolls back on his stomach and crawls up, his hand still circled around Taylor's leg. Ketchum uses his free hand and grabs Taylor's tip and before you know it, Ketchum applies the ankle lock on Erek Taylor!!

 

"(Axis) Ankle lock!! An excruciating manuever that tries to break off your foot!!"

 

"(Edwin) Well we don't need you to tell us. Just looking at Erek's face tells us how painful that move really is."

 

"(Sacred) Yes, actions do indeed speak louder than words!"

 

Erek Taylor screams at the top his lungs, trying to withstand the pain that is being inflicted upon him by, by, by his own friend! A fellow XF9er! Ash Ketchum continues the hold, his face showing remorse. He wants to break free but he wants the title so badly, he'll risk the friendship for it. Taylor tries reaching for the ropes but what good is it, there's no disqualification in this matchup. Taylor finally manages his strength to get back up to his feet. Hopping on one leg, Taylor turns around to face Ketchum straight in the eye before leaping into the air and bringing his free leg across Ketchum's face!

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor with the desperation kick!"

 

"(Edwin) Truly magnificent."

 

Ketchum and Taylor lie motionless in the ring. Both are putting up with unspeakable pain. One fell off 15 feet, the other almost had his foot torn off. What limits are there? None for these two. Ketchum slowly staggers to his feet, holding his jaw in pain as he limps over to the suitcase. Erek Taylor sees this and tries stopping Ketchum, grabbing a hold of Ketchum's leg in return and trying to pull the Pokemaster away from the European Title which is locked in that very suitcase.

 

"(Axis) Ash Ketchum is so close!!"

 

"(Edwin) Yes! And Erek has got to do everything he can to get Ketchum away!"

 

"(Sacred) Pfft, I've seen better."

 

"(Axis) What the hell is your problem?!"

 

"(Sacred) I'm Sacred. I'm eeeevvviiiillll."

 

"(Axis) Problem noted."

 

Ketchum tries shaking Taylor off but this bird's got himself locked on. Ketchum eventually gets pulled down and now Ketchum is the one who's reaching for the case. Erek Taylor slowly gathers himself back up to his feet and pulls Ketchum up with him. A quick right dazes Ketchum and Taylor grabs Ketchum by the wrist before whipping him to the ropes. On the rebound, Taylor goes for a high angle superkick but Ketchum ducks under and the momentum carries him back to Taylor. This time, Taylor anticipates the manuever and as Ketchum races forward, Taylor grabs Ketchum around the waist and hoists the Pokemaster in the air before planting him down the mat with a diving spinebuster!! Taylor catches Ketchum's leg and places it in a "V" formation before crossing it up and spinning around to lock in the Sharpshooter!!

 

"(Axis) Sharpshooter!!"

 

"(Edwin) Ah, now Ketchum gets a dose of his own medicine!"

 

"(Axis) Will he be going for it?! No! Erek Taylor can't quite reach down to complete the Execution Hold but the Sharpshooter alone is good enough!"

 

"(Sacred) Innnnndddddeeeeeeeeeeed."

 

Taylor continues the Sharpshooter while Ketchum grimaces in pain. The Pokemaster sees the case, it's only a few inches away! Ketchum stretches his hand out far, further than he has ever before, and circles his hand around the suitcase handle. Tightening his grip on the handle, Ketchum quickly swings it into the air blindly, and luckily for him, the suitcase nails Taylor in the back!

 

CLANG!!

 

Taylor collapses forward, the shot sending him rolling out to ringside. Ketchum looks around for the key, and spots it in the corner. Ketchum scurries over with the case and quickly grabs a hold of the key.

 

"(Axis) Ketchum, our *new* European Champ!"

 

"(Edwin) WAAAAAAIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!!"

 

Ketchum tries pushing the key in, and tries twisting. But somehow, the key refuses to spin. Ketchum pulls the key out and pushes it in once more and once again, tries twisting. NO!! The key refuses to spin!! As the truth dawns on Ketchum, the Smarkstron flickers on once more with the riddle.

 

"(Edwin) Ha! Ash's got the wrong key!!!"

 

"(Axis) You mean, Erek."

 

"(Edwin) Well, Ash had the key first."

 

"(Axis) But Erek was the one who removed it from the Clan's Locker room."

 

"(Edwin) Oh shut up."

 

Ash, full of anger and impatience, throws the suitcase to the corner and the key down hard. He takes a look up at the Smarkstron to survey the location of the second clue....

 

"The second key, whether real or fake, is a question of the ages.

Under your noses it will laugh,

at your pitiful attempts to escape the wrath.

Whose nose, you might say...

A figure of greatness, and in your sense, of power."

 

Ash ponders for awhile, looking around the fans for some sort of guidance. He doesn't even see Erek Taylor crawling into the ring behind him. With one surge of power, Taylor lunges forward, bringing an uppercut into Ketchum's crotch!! LOW BLOW!!! Ketchum staggers forward as Taylor slowly gets back up to his feet. Ketchum slowly spins around and Taylor delivers a kick to the gut. Ketchum doubles over and the momentum pulls Ketchum's head under Taylor's arm.

 

"(Axis) FAME AND FURY BABY!!!"

 

"(Edwin) Ooooo, I dig that move. Famously and furiously!"

 

Taylor prepares to wrench Ketchum's head but as he's just about to complete the spin, Ketchum breaks free and shoves Taylor to the ropes and clotheslines the High Flying Prince on the rebound. But Taylor ducks under and races to the other ropes, heading back for an attempt at an assault. Ketchum anticipates Taylor's every move and as Taylor lunges forward for a clothesline, Ketchum slings Taylor's arm over before hoisting Taylor into the air, planting him down with a Rock Bottom!

 

"(Axis) The PokeRap!"

 

"(Edwin) That's one stupid name there."

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor went for the Fame and Fury but it got countered into a PokeRap Rock Bottom! GO ASH!"

 

"(Edwin) Go Erek!"

 

Ketchum staggers back up and surveys the clue again, and the truth finally hits him. Once again, the match carries us backstage, where anything can happen! Yes! Even Low Brass can get a girl back there! And with that said, LOW BRASS FOR PRESIDENT! *cough* Back to the match. Ketchum rolls out of the ring and races up the ramp. The Smarkstron flickers back on and brings a live picture of Ketchum, who's racing down the hallways, looking for something.

 

"(Axis) Ash Ketchum is on the hunt again! This time, for the *REAL* key!!"

 

"(Edwin) Yes, but this time, Erek Taylor's hunting him. OOoOOoooOO, the hunter has become the hunted!! And so completes the circle of life. AAAAHHHHHH SSAAAABBBBEEEMMMMWWWAAAA!!!"

 

"(Sacred) Will you shut up?! I hate that song! The Lion King was only good for a year!"

 

Taylor rolls out of the ring and slowly jogs up the ramp, getting back the wind knocked out of him earlier. The High Flying Prince enters the hallways and now gets on the pursuit after the Pokemaster Ash Ketchum. Taylor looks around and around, surveying the distance until he spots Ash Ketchum at the end of the hallway. As soon as he spots the Pokemaster, Erek Taylor breaks off into a run, dashing across feets in the blink of an eye. He gets right up to the Pokemaster's face and decks Ash with a hard right! Ketchum staggers back but swings a counter attack, only to get blocked by Erek Taylor! Taylor lunges a boot up into Ash's gut, doubling him over. Taylor grabs Ash by the hair and swings him into the door, right into the locker room of X-Force 9!

 

"(Axis) And into the XF9 locker room we go!"

 

"(Sacred) Is it just me or are all the XF9ers dirty monkeys?"

 

"(Edwin) That's my line!"

 

"(Sacred) Not anymore, you dumb ape."

 

Low Brass jumps up at a moment's notice, eyes all wide at the battling Ash Ketchum and Erek Taylor.

 

"(Brass) WHAT THE HELL?!"

 

"(Ash) ARGH!"

 

Taylor rakes Ash in the eyes, staggering the Pokemaster back a few before racing in and shoving him into the wall. Catching deep breaths, Taylor turns to Brass.

 

"(Erek) Do you have a key?"

 

"(Brass) NO!"

 

"(Erek) Really? Let me check."

 

Taylor begins to walk forward but Ketchum grabs Taylor by the leg and trips the High Flying Prince down. Ketchum races towards Brass and shoves the Funky Monkey to the wall.

 

"(Ash) You have a key somewhere....."

 

Ash begins searching Brass, patting everywhere on Brass' body, trying to shake up a key. Eventually, his outside search fails and Ash is forced *inside*. Ash strips Brass of his belt and pulls Brass' pants off!

 

"(Axis) OH MY GOD!"

 

"(Sacred) AAAHHHH! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!"

 

"(Edwin) I'm with you!"

 

Ash begins poking through Brass' pockets, finding nothing but a handful of condoms. Ketchum eyes Brass suspiciously but as he finds out that there's no key, the Pokemaster heads back out. The camera is left back and watches Brass directly.

 

"(Brass) What?! I could hook up! It could happen!"

 

"(Cameraman) Pfft, yeah right...."

 

The cameras move away and back on Ketchum, who's racing back to the ring right now. Taylor follows up shortly and the Smarkstron flickers off, as Ketchum emerges from the curtains. The Pokemaster races down but halfway down the ramp, is clotheslined down by the even faster Erek Taylor. The momentum pushes Ketchum down, sending the Pokemaster rolling down the ramp before crashing into the ring apron. Erek Taylor grabs Ketchum by the hair and rolls him into the ring before sliding in himself.

 

"(Axis) And the action has gone back into the ring."

 

"(Edwin) That was hideous!"

 

"(Sacred) One key is left and obviously it's the real key. The question is, where is it?"

 

"(Edwin) Hmmmm, a figure of greatness."

 

"(Sacred) Obviously these two are stupid because someone such as Low Brass is nowhere near the status of greatness."

 

Taylor walks towards the staggering Ash, preparing for an assault when Ketchum shoots up a desperation shot. Taylor doubles over in pain as Ash staggers back up and shoves Taylor over to the corner. With a swift hand, Ash lands a hard chop across Taylor's chest.

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!"

 

SMACK!

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!"

 

SMACK!

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!"

 

Taylor staggers forward and Ketchum grabs the Euro Champ by the wrist before sending him whipping to the opposite corner, hard. The impact sends Taylor staggering back forward, arching his back in pain as Ketchum races in for the up and under. Taylor anticipates the move and ducks the clothesline before spinning around and leaping into the air, performing a dropkick that puts Ketchum in the corner.

 

"(Sacred) Boring......."

 

"(Axis) I thought you were evil."

 

"(Edwin) Evil? Dennis the Menace was more evil than this fool!"

 

Taylor leap frogs back to his feet and shoots a batch of shots into Ketchum's gut, weakening the Pokemaster's gut by the second. Taylor grabs Ketchum by the wrist and whips him to the opposite corner but Ketchum counters and sends Taylor there instead. Shortly after, Ketchum races in for a clothesline but Taylor races up the buckles before backflipping over the raging Ketchum. In mid air, just as he's about to fall, Taylor lunges forward his two legs, right into the back of Ketchum's skull!

 

"(Axis) A falling dropkick! What magnificent acrobatics!"

 

"(Edwin) I could've done better."

 

"(Sacred) And me, twice as much."

 

Ketchum falls forward as Taylor flips back up. Taylor races forward, fists outstretched as he goes for a clothesline. Ketchum ducks under and brings a knee up into Taylor's gut. Ketchum shoves Taylor back a bit before diving forward and landing a forearm across Taylor's forehead! Ketchum rolls outside, throws up the curtains, and pulls out two steel chairs!

 

"(Axis) Uh oh! We've seen this before and we know what's coming!"

 

"(Edwin) Yeah, your momma!"

 

"(Sacred) OH HO HO!!! DISS!!"

 

Ketchum rolls back in, setting himself up with the two chairs as he ascends up the turnbuckles. Taylor slowly staggers up and just as he does, Ketchum leaps off, making the chairs into a flapping motion, flapping the chairs into Taylor's head!!

 

CLANG!!

 

STEEL WING!! The impact sends Taylor rolling outside but doesn't topple the High Flying Prince over. Erek Taylor, dizzy with pain like a hangover, staggers around a bit, trying to gain back his balance. Ketchum rolls outside but wields one chair instead of two. The Pokemaster stalks up behind Taylor, watching every move, waiting for the right moment.

 

"(Axis) Ash Ketchum with that deadly chair in hand."

 

"(Edwin) Oh you go girl!"

 

"(Sacred) Excuse me?"

 

Ketchum measures up Taylor, holding the chair up high and as Taylor turns around.....

 

 

CLANG!!!

 

 

Ketchum brings the chair smacking down hard on Erek Taylor's skull, sending the High Flying Prince staggering back! The chair shot doesn't knock Taylor down but Ketchum knows what can. Stalking the Euro Champ from behind, Ketchum whispers up and applies the Tazzmission Hold!! Ketchum quickly hoists Taylor in the air but never expected that to happen! Taylor pushes off from the announcers' table and backflips over Ketchum, landing on his own two feet! Ketchum, confused and dizzy, looks for Taylor but before he can, Taylor sneaks up and applies the Tazzmission! Taylor hoists Ketchum in the air with all his might before planting the Pokemaster down on the announcers' table!! THE LULLABY OF JIGGLYPUFF!! EREK TAYLOR STYLE!!!

 

"(Axis) O- zzzzzzzzzzz"

 

The impact sends the three commentators toppling over one another. Axis dives out of the way as Sacred is pushed down under Ketchum while Edwin's chair is toppled over in an angle. And there, under the figure of greatness, of power, the real key sparkles.

 

"(Axis) What the?! The key was under Edwin this whole time!!"

 

Erek Taylor spots the key in an instant and quickly races over, peeling the key away and racing back into the ring, where the suitcase lies with the belt. Taylor scurries over and sticks the key into the keyhole and with the twist of motion, unlocks it!! Taylor opens the suitcase, and pulls out the SJL European Title!!!

 

***Ding ding ding!!!****

 

"(Funyon) The winner of this match and *STILL* SJL European Champion....... EREK! TAAAAYYYLLLOOOOORRRR!!!!!"

 

"Toxicity" rings throughout the arena like the national anthem, getting more than just an ovation, but a rawkus of all measures. The fans are loud, deafening, as Erek Taylor holds the European Title belt in victory!!!

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor retains!!"

 

The High Flying Prince walks up the ramp with a smile on his face. How long will it last? Only time will tell.

[Guest crusen86]

As the commercial for the “999 ways to screw over an IGN user” guidebook goes off the air, the screen fades to an empty black. Seconds later, the screaming of millions and millions of Australians is heard over every TV viewer’s speakers, and the screen fades back to the inside of the sold-out Sydney Opera House! As the camera swerves through the crowd of fans, it focuses on a sign that reads, “Can I be your Maretta, Kojack?” and another sign is spotted, reading, “Hey Fred! Your Mom is one fine piece of ***!”. And a last one reads, “Misty cut off Ash’s pokeballs!”

 

Then the camera zooms in on our two very greatest announcers in the history of sports entertainment! Along with a very special guest commentator, known as Sacred! These three men will do so well, they will scare droves of people away from their TVs and make the ratings drop until they reach rock bottom!

 

Axis : “Hey-hey, you wrestling freaks, welcome back to Metal, where the blood flows just a bit thicker, just a bit redder! And tonight is the night of the SWF contract tournament! We are making JL history in my home land!”

 

Edwin : “That’s right, people! I, your all-benevolent Commissioner MAC-PHIIIIIIIIIS-TOOOOOO… has put up 2 contracts, as I said before. So far, we passed through match ONE of the tourney, Erek and Ash! That was also for the Euro title, with a stipulation that the Pokefreak himself had picked!”

 

Axis : “But now, it’s time for match two of round one in the tournament! The opponents……. Xero goes up against Flexxx! I remember that these two faced each other 2 weeks ago! Flexxx won in the end, but Xero came extremely close to getting the upper hand”

 

Edwin : “Bah… that stupid Triple-X punk only has blind luck on his side!”

 

Axis : “What are your thoughts on this, Sacred?”

 

 

 

 

………

 

 

 

 

Axis : “Uh… Sacred?”

 

Sacred : “…what?”

 

Axis : “Can you comment on this next matchup?”

 

Sacred : “Well, I hope that the referee stops the match, then gives both those two guys candy to eat. It would make them sooooo happy! And it would make me so much more eeeeeviiiiil!”

 

Axis : “Uh… how is candy evil?”

 

Sacred : “It would give them TOOTH DECAY! And that’s what makes it so much more eeeevillllll….”

 

Axis : “…Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Thank you for your words, Sacred. Well, now to start off this match. Before all the evilness around this announce table starts to poison our heads!”

 

Loud static is heard through the PA system, as the lights completely fade to black. "Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins is just blasted through the PA system, as Xero walks out to a tremendous cheer. While walking to the ring, Xero stops in the middle of the runway, and points up in the air as plethora of fireworks explode behind him, crackling with electricity. After the fireworks are over, Xero continues his walk to the ring.

 

Funyon : “This singles match is for a win in Round One of the SWF Tournament! Making his way to the ring, he is 6’ 1” and 204 pounds, from Port Colborne in Ontario, Canada………………. XEEEEEEROOOOO!!!!!”

 

Xero then slides into the ring and jumps onto a turnbuckle. After raising his arms high up into the air, he gets a huge standing ovation from his long-time fans! Grooving to the hard rock of “Zero”, Xero jumps back down onto the mat and jumps around to exercise, waiting for the arrival of his opponent.

 

Axis : “Xero can’t afford to lose this time… he *needs* this contract!”

 

Edwin : “Like you *need* a tampon! Is it that kind of need?”

 

As the crowd is about to settle down… they explode in a fury of excitement as "Sleep now in the Fire" by Rage Against the Machine plays. A video clip of Flexxx nailing the Golden Gun flashes on the SmarkTron screen, just as there's a clip of a bomb hitting, and a huge yellow stream of pyro flies into the ramp and explodes three times!

 

BOOM!!!

 

BOOM!!!

 

 

 

 

BAAAAAAAAAAAANG!!!

 

Then the screaming voice of Zach de la Rocha is heard…

 

“HEY! HEY! SLEEP NOW IN THA FIIIIIIIREEEE!!!!!!”

 

Amidst the yellow smoke, tha Flunkmasta Flexxx emerges! Flexxx walks out to the ramp and does striking and spinning motions with his trusty, lethal kendo stick, looking around at the psyched crowd. Flexxx then runs down the ramp, slapping hands along the way!

 

Funyon : “The second opponent! Making his way to the ring, at 6’ 5” and 267 pounds, he is from Rochester, New York………….THA FLUNK-MASTA FLEEEEEEEEXXX!!!!!”

 

Flexxx then enters the ring walks to the center, then he mounts all four turnbuckles, raising his hands up in the air with the trademark split-finger victory gesture. At each corner of the arena that the ragin’ porno man stands at, a bunch of drunk men stand up, shaking their beer cans vigorously and rooting for tha Flunkmasta Flexxx! Then at one turnbuckle, Flexxx suddenly stops and looks down at Xero, to find that Xero was staring up at him the whole time. After walking back to the center of the ring, Flexxx shook with nervousness and tried, only as he could, to perceive what Xero was thinking…

 

Axis : “Flexxx better be careful… Xero doesn’t wanna screw around this time!”

 

Flexxx walks over to the edge of the ring and waits… but then, Xero knocks Flexxx down flat!

 

And with that, the referee called for the bell!

 

 

“DING! DING! DING!”

 

 

Xero continued choking Flexxx, keeping him down. As Flexxx pointlessly struggled to get back onto his feet, Xero removed one hand from the weakened porno masta’s throat and used it to pummel his fists into his opponent’s skull. The referee counted to one… then two… then three… and finally, the referee told Xero to break the blatant (and quite illegal) chokehold. Xero angrily stepped off of the ground and menacingly looked into the ring official’s eyes…  

 

Axis : “Man, he must still be mad after losing to LDP on last Metal! He needs to secure a win here tonight, and he will resort to any means…”

 

Xero grabbed Flexxx’s long black dreads and dragged him off of the ground, and onto his feet. Xero then threw his fist into the porn star’s lower jaw… stiff uppercut! Still holding the Flunkmasta’s head, Xero sweeps his leg under Flexxx’s feet, knocking him down onto his knees! After Flexxx became somewhat immobilized, Xero frantically ran to the ropes, bounced back and nailed a jumping dropkick into Flexxx’s head! The porno man got knocked backwards, with his head lying flat on the floor.

 

Axis : “Xero dominates his opponent early on! And now he’s going for the pin…”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR-no! Kickout!

 

Xero burns with rage from not having put out his opponent sufficiently. So he wraps his arms around Flexxx’s throat, to lock into a sleeper hold. As Flexxx struggles to get free and get back on the offensive, Xero slowly brings Flexxx off of the ground to get in a standing position. As Flexxx gags from the chokehold and tries to pry Xero’s arms off his throat, he gets loose of Xero’s arms and brings himself around to Xero’s back, then locks his arms into… the Grinder (tazzmission)!

 

Axis : “Flexxx locks in the Grinder! Xero’s been overcome!”

 

As Xero stumbles backwards, coughing and gagging, as he’s now the victim, he desperately looks for a way to escape the fatal submission hold. As Flexxx becomes more aggressive with the hold, and Xero’s just about to faint… Xero smashes his elbow into Flexxx’s ribs! Then he smashes the hard elbow into his ribs again! As Flexxx slowly lets go, Xero grabs Flexxx’s arms and pushes him away from his body, then delivers a sharp, lethal roundhouse kick into the Flunkmasta’s gut! Flexxx bends down, holding his afflicted gut and wincing from terrible pain. Xero then whips Flexxx into the corner, then charges at the downed man… CRACK! Xero nails his hard foot into Flexxx’s head with a sharp and much higher kick! After Flexxx falls onto the middle ropes from the impact, Xero crams his foot into Flexxx’s throat, causing Flexxx to kick up and down on the mat and gasp for air. Xero then decides to let Flexxx go, and the weakened porn star breathes heavily. Xero, the well-toned fighter, walks to the opposite turnbuckle and backs up into the post. Staring down the still-breathless Flexxx, he charges frantically towards the crazy porn star and jumped up at his head, trying to nail a big Hurricanrana……… but Flexxx ducked and rolled out of the way, and Xero flew right into the solid steel post with his legs open, and he shrieked in agony while holding his groin and nearly falling onto the floor!

 

Edwin : “Hahaha! After doing that, he now gots Xero sperm count! Ha, I kill me!”

 

Axis : “*cough*LAME!*cough*”

 

Edwin : “Shutup, you dingo’s beotch!”

 

Axis : “Why thank you, you’re so kind. Oh, and Flexxx is back on the offensive, and about to rip Xero’s head off!”

 

Flexxx positions Xero’s head down on the ground, putting him into a Tree of Woe, and the raging porno man starts stomping a mudhole into Xero’s face! After several tooth-smashing boot stomps to the jaw, Xero finally falls down onto the ground. Still, Flexxx continues the punishment by backing up and lunging at Xero with a hard falling elbow smash to the ribs! Then the crazy porn star rolls right back up, and goes for another… smash! Then Flexxx just stomps on Xero’s side as the desperate fighter tries to roll away… and Flexxx lifts Xero back onto his feet, and immediately whips him into the turnbuckle! After Xero’s spine collides with the hard steel post, Flexxx lunges at Xero with a hard elbow smash to the forehead! Flexxx then backs up his arm, and goes for a hard knife-edge chop…

 

“OOOOOHHHHH!!!”

 

The wind gets knocked out of Xero! And Flexxx goes for another chop…

 

“OOOOOHHHHH!!!”

 

Then Flexxx goes for one last chop…

 

“OOOOOHHHHH!!!”

 

After three consecutive knife-edge chops, Xero loses a lot of his oxygen and energy. Flexxx sees this and backs away a bit, then runs straight towards Xero for the Eroticasault! And as Flexxx nears his downed opponent, out of nowhere, Xero quickly lifts his two feet up and Flexxx sickly runs into Xero’s two feet, face-first, getting knocked aside. The crazy porn star’s upper lip starts bleeding. As Flexxx clumsily stumbles backwards and holds his jaw in pain, Xero mounts the top rope. After Flexxx leans on the ropes and tries to recooperate, Xero looks down on the Flunkmasta rather angrily and leaps from the turnbuckle, with a missile dropkick! After Xero’s two feet connect with Flexxx’s skull, Flexxx gets knocked over the top rope, and he falls onto the hard concrete ground beneath the ring!

 

Axis : “With one damn hard flying kick, Xero’s back on the offense! What is he going to do now, with Flexxx lying outside of the ring?”

 

Although Flexxx somehow got back off of the ground and had shaken the cobwebs out of his head, he tried to get back into the ring. But Xero ran to the ropes, bounced back, and gave a really fast, really hard sliding dropkick into the face of the Flunkmasta, and he stumbled backwards onto the steel barricade. Xero then slid underneath the bottom rope and exited the ring, and as he approached Flexxx, a plethora of screaming fans were patting Flexxx’s back and cheering him on. But despite the support, Xero grabbed Flexxx’s head and willingly smashed him face-first into the barricade! When the fans started to boo, he flipped them off and grabbed Flexxx’s head again. But Flexxx punched him in the face, making the fans start cheering again, and the Flunkmasta Flexxx smashes Xero’s face into the barricade, then he does again, over and over…

 

Axis : “Ouch! Xero’s taking a hella lot of violent abuse from the porno masta!”

 

Edwin : “He’s living proof that Viagra increases performance as well!”

 

After Flexxx was done pummeling Xero’s skull inwards with hard metal, Xero stumbled backwards and almost fell over, but in a move of desperation, he nails Flexxx with a stiff uppercut to the chin, knocking the Flunkmasta’s head upward! Xero goes for another loop, throwing an overhead punch on Flexxx’s forehead. But Flexxx rolls up for a hard punch and knocks Xero backwards. Xero retaliates, but Flexxx blocks his weaker punch and nails Xero in the head with his hard fist again, to overpower Xero. Flexxx then decides to finish the attack sequence and grabs Xero’s arm to whip him into the steel stairs, but the seasoned fighter knows to reverse the Irish whip, and CRASH! The outsmarted porn star trips over the steel stairs, hurting his legs along the way.

 

Axis : “OOOH… he may have bruised his shins right there. Not a pretty sight.”

 

As Flexxx laid there face-first on the concrete surface, with his legs tripped over the steel stairs, Xero walked over to the downed Flexxx and stomped on one of his shins. Flexxx cried out in pain! Then Xero went for another, and Flexxx desperately tried to roll away on his side. But Xero got the best of Flexxx and grabbed him by his long black hair, lifting him back onto his now-wobbly feet. Xero then shoved Flexxx into the ring, and slid underneath the bottom rope to reenter the squared circle. Xero grabbed Flexxx’s legs and locked him into a Maple Leaf, and pulled back on Flexxx’s one leg. But even as a surge of pain traveled through the porn star’s leg, he reached out for the bottom rope and grabbed it tightly. When Xero saw this, he angrily let go of Flexxx and viciously stomped on his spine, trying to keep him down.

 

Axis : “Xero’s trying rather hard to keep Flexxx down… I can tell that he really does not want a loss in a tournament of this magnitude… of this importance!”

 

Edwin : “And just now, you figured that out? God, you aussies ARE freakin’ stupid!”

 

Axis : “Just be glad the entire arena didn’t hear what you just said, or else the whole crowd would be throwing bottles at us!”

 

Xero pulled Flexxx back onto his feet, and immediately went for a powerful attack, but the resilient Flexxx knocked Xero back with a hard punch, then ran at Xero with a stiff, diving clothesline! But the clever fighter ducked out of the way and grabbed Flexxx’s head from behind, then brought his head down on the hard canvas with a Reverse Layout DDT! Xero went for the pinfall, making a cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR-kickout!

 

Axis : “No soup for Xero! Flexxx kicks out!”

 

Xero then pulled Flexxx back up by his head, and wrapped his arms around Flexxx’s midsection in a waistlock. He then lifted Flexxx over his head for a German suplex, dropping him right on his neck! Not thinking he had done enough damage, Xero slowly lifted Flexxx back up again and got back into the ideal position… then suplexed Flexxx on his neck again. When all the drunks in the arena finally realized what Xero was doing, they shouted out, “ONE! Er… TWO!”

 

When Xero took a deep breath, and pulled Flexxx up again for the final suplex, Xero received an elbow shot to the gut from a retaliating Flexxx! Flexxx now tried to reverse the German suplex hold, but Xero gave him a chop to the back of his neck, almost putting him out again, and Xero lifted Flexxx over his head for one last suplex… THUD! The weakened porn star’s neck got bashed against the hard canvas once more, and Flexxx lied flat on the ground. The fans looked on in worry, thinking that this might be it for Flexxx.

 

Axis : “Uh oh… the Flunkmasta Flexxx is out of it. Xero’s definitely going for the pinfall.”

 

Edwin : “Ohh yeah! This is looking damn good!”

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Axis : “NO! FLEXXX GETS THE SHOULDER UP! THE RAGING PORNO MAN IS STILL IN THE GAME!”

 

Xero, who put all that effort into those three linked German suplexes, was shocked that Flexxx had gotten the shoulder up at the last second! Horrendously pissed at the Flunkmasta Flexxx’s undying persistence, he pounded his fists on the ground, and looked at Flexxx with a burning rage in his eyes. Xero then looks around at all of the fans that are cheering wildly for his nearly beaten opponent, and he got off of the mat and went over to the ropes to yell at them for disrespecting him. But as he was doing that… Flexxx was pulling himself off of the ground. As soon as Xero saw Flexxx recovering from his attack, he frantically charged at Flexxx and landed a sharp kick in between his eyes, knocking Flexxx back down on the ground! The crowd of Australians started booing again, as Xero continued his attack on the unlucky porn star.

 

Edwin : “Phew! For a minute, I thought that stupid X-X-X puke was going to lay the smackdown on my favorite Xero!”

 

Axis : “Alas, I thought so too Edwin… I thought so too…”

 

Xero grabbed Flexxx’s leg, and stomped his shoe into the calf of his leg. Xero then kept the leg in place and smashed into it with a hard falling elbow, then twisted his lower leg away from his kneecap. The helpless fighter cried out in pain, as Xero was trying to rip Flexxx’s muscles apart. The crowd of Australians didn’t like Xero’s tactics, and some people started a chant…

 

“***HOLE! ***HOLE! ***HOLE! ***HOLE!”

 

Then Xero yelled back, “Shut your retarded mouths!”

 

And with that said, Xero ignored the angered fans and finally decided his next move. He grabbed Flexxx’s ankle with one hand and also grabbed Flexxx’s knee at the same time… almost putting him in a strange sort of legbar. Flexxx started to pound his fists on the ground, as Xero also drove his knee into Flexxx’s back and contorted his leg muscles. But as Flexxx desperately clawed at the mat and elbowed his way towards the side…….. he grabbed the bottom rope and escaped Xero’s submission hold!

 

Axis : “Flexxx got to the ropes! He’s gotten a break from the torment!”

 

Edwin : “Axis, you stupid dingo’s whore! LOOK! Xero’s pulling him away!”

 

Xero dragged Flexxx away from the bottom rope, going back into the center of the ring, and he reapplied the submission hold. As Xero was standing, facing Flexxx, and the raging porno man was still down on the ground, the Flunkmasta Flexxx got on one knee. Xero, having seen this, continued the pain by contorting Flexxx’s one leg even harder. Despite all this, Flexxx finally made a stand on the ground. Flexxx was almost helpless, not being able to go anywhere as long as Xero was still holding his foot. But the resilient Flunkmasta went for a stiff Enziguri to the head….. and Xero still grabbed that other foot! Capitalizing on the fighting porn star’s foolishness, Xero lifted Flexxx over his head with both feet, with all the strength he had left in him…

 

Axis : “SH*T… Flexxx is going to get smashed into the ground! This could be it!”

 

But out of nowhere, Flexxx chops Xero in the back of his neck, and Xero immediately stops moving Flexxx over his head. Flexxx then repositions himself on Xero’s shoulders, makes Xero bend down, and then he does a horse-riding gesture that makes the pool of fans go insane! He then runs up to the corner, turns around at a 90 degree angle, then he drops down and crushes Xero’s head against his shoulder in a high stunner!

 

Axis : “YES! FLEXXX HITS THE UNNATURAL ON XERO!”

 

Xero stiffly bounces off of Flexxx’s shoulder and falls flat on his arse, then the raging porno man finally goes for the cover!

 

Axis : “Flexxx may have it now…”

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

Axis : “YES! FINALLY! Flexxx gets the pinfall on Xero! We have a won match!”

 

Edwin : “Ugh… art thou mentally challenged? Look at the ring…”

 

Axis looks inside of the ring as Edwin tells him to, and Axis starts to look disappointed.

 

Axis : “OH COME ON! Xero put his foot on the bottom rope. He was so going to lose…”

 

When Flexxx looks at Xero’s foot on the rope and the referee tells him personally, the Flunkmasta just gets back up in a standing position, shrugs from confusion… and starts stomping the living hell out of the wiry Xero! With each bowel-shaking stomp, the tired Xero rolls away, but can’t adequately resist for much longer. So Flexxx catches up to him by viciously lunging at the tired Xero with a hard falling elbow, stopping the exhausted fighter in his tracks! Flexxx then lifts Xero back onto his two feet and throws a few weak underhand punches just to keep Xero at bay, and he then whips Xero toward the ropes! But then Xero reverses the irish whip and sends Flexxx into the ropes! After bouncing back, Xero goes for a spinning heel kick… but misses! Flexxx dodges Xero’s attack and goes for the ropes again, then bounces back! Xero then went for a low sweeping kick to outsmart the Flunkmasta… but Flexxx jumped over his leg, totally surprising Xero and wearing his patience thin! Not sparing a single second, Xero finally ran at Flexxx, trying to stop him! But the resilient porno master grabbed the ropes and climbed on top, then sprung himself off with a springboard dropkick into Xero’s head, flooring him on the hard canvas!

 

Axis : “Flexxx nails the Ricochet Rocket! Xero is down on the ground!”

 

Already mounted on top of Xero, Flexxx starts pounding his hard knuckles into the side of Xero’s head! After getting exhausted from constantly punching Xero’s skull inwards, Flexxx stopped the brutal assault and breathed heavily. Noticing this, Xero rolled Flexxx over for a school-boy pin, completely taking him by surprise!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THR-kickout!

 

Axis : “WOAH! That was so close! A smart move on Xero’s behalf!”

 

After kicking out of Xero’s surprise rollup pin, Flexxx gets back onto his feet, as does Xero. Almost immediately, fists fly as Xero tries to strike Flexxx down again! But Flexxx blocks the fast punch with both hands, letting go with one hand and knocking Xero about with a stiff uppercut! Flexxx then goes for another stiff uppercut to the jaw, but Xero gets loose of Flexxx and moves behind him! When Flexxx turns around to face the elusive fighter, Xero grabs Flexxx’s head and nails his skull onto the mat with a spiked DDT! Xero immediately goes for the pinfall…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR-kickout!

 

Axis : “Sh*t! Xero almost got the victory! Who’s going to win this?”

 

Edwin : “Me, your all-powerful commissioner Mac-PHIIIISTO! All I have to do is go in there and give them both a double purple nurple! They’ll be begging for mercy! Muahahaha…”

 

Axis : “Ugh… whatever, Edwin.”

 

Xero, still pissed that he hasn’t won the match yet, lifted Flexxx back onto his feet. Thinking he could really have the situation under his control now, he landed a sharp kick into the gut of the Flunkmasta! As Flexxx winced in pain from the sharp roundhouse kick, Xero then went for a spinning heel kick into the kidneys of the porn star! Flexxx almost bent down from the second sharp kick, and Xero was now happily dominating again… so Xero then ran to the ropes, bounced back and lunged with his two hands for the side of Flexxx’s head, to finish him off with the Xero Gravity!

 

Axis : “YES! Xero’s going for the Xero Gravity! Flexxx doesn’t seem to be able to fight back, so this may be it, folks!”

 

But Flexxx didn’t fight back to stop Xero. Instead, Flexxx grabbed Xero’s waist and shifted the swift fighter’s fast momentum to lift him high up in the air for a Sky High! Then after turning a full 180 degrees, Flexxx force Xero down flat on his back, crashing his spine down on the hard canvas! Just then, to finish Xero off, the Flunkmasta put his leg in between Xero’s two legs while still holding them, turned Xero on his side, and sat on his back! Flexxx had just locked in the Last Beat (sharpshooter)!

 

Axis : “NO! Flexxx has Xero in the Last Beat! What’s to stop him now?”

 

Xero desperately elbowed on the mat to try and get away, but he was exhausted from previous evasions, and Flexxx jumped on his back really hard! Xero tried really hard to keep his hand from hitting the mat and tapping out, but the raging porno man jumped on his back again, ever-so contorting his legs even further apart, not to mention his directly afflicted spine! Xero, tired and in intense pain, practically snapped under pressure, and his hand slowly began to move. Xero tried to keep his hand up, but with one painful jerking of his whole body, his hand slapped the mat!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

Then Xero’s hand suddenly hit the mat, again!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

Axis : “OH NO! XERO’S ABOUT TO TAP OUT TO THE LAST BEAT!”

 

Even though Xero was on the verge of losing and was just about desperate to gain a win in this tournament, Flexxx just wouldn’t give in to him! Not for a single chance in hell! But only as the referee witnessed, Xero pulled himself off of the ground, started to move toward the ropes with his elbows, and he desperately-as-ever pried his hands open to grasp the bottom rope…

 

And Xero grabs the bottom rope, escaping the Last Beat!

 

Edwin : “HAH! Mr. Xero Gravity boy survives the Last CRAP!”

 

Sacred : “I don’t care just how ridiculously close this match is, I *still* say that Xero’s going to win! Because he is the evilest of the two! And good is stupid! SO THERE! Muahahahahaha…..”

 

As soon as Flexxx feels that Xero’s holding onto the ropes, he lets go of Xero’s legs. He then almost collapses onto the floor in frustration. Xero, breathing heavily and now very weakened, pulls his beaten body back up with the support of the ring’s ropes, and then he watches Flexxx looking away in confusion. Xero, who was just an inch away from being eliminated to the losers round, finally takes a newfound opportunity and charges right towards Flexxx!

 

Axis : “Oh crap… look out, Flexxx!”

 

Before Flexxx can turn around, the lightning-quick Xero grabs the ragin’ porno man’s head and puts him into a front facelock! Then as Xero jumps up 180 degrees, up and around Flexxx’s head, Xero comes crashing down onto the mat! Flexxx also gets pummeled into that same hard canvas….. on his face!

 

Axis : “Xero Gravity on Flexxx! Xero finally has it!”

 

Then as Xero goes for the pin, Flexxx puts one of his feet right on top of the bottom rope… just as Xero had done before! Xero, in a huge fit of rage, started pounding his fists on the ground! When the ref walked over to him and told Xero to get his behavior in order, Xero gave the old SJL official an agonizing kick to the nuts!

 

Axis : “OHH!!! Low blow to the referee! That could’ve just cost Xero the match!”

 

Then seconds later, Xero realized the error of his ways and tried to wake up the referee. But the nearly-emasculated ring official would not get up for Xero, making the seasoned fighter extremely pissed and nearly hopeless. Xero then turns around and looks down of Flexxx. Deciding that Flexxx is also out of commission, Xero looks up towards the ropes! The high-flyer grabs Flexxx’s head, lifts the porno man back up to his feet, and drags him over to the corner! After that part was completed, Xero quickly climbed up the ropes and perched himself right on top of the turnbuckle!

 

Edwin : “Meh… I think you were right, Sacred. Xero would come on top of this whole mess!”

 

As Xero was just about to leap into the sky while holding the Flunkmasta’s head, however, Flexxx regained some strength and blindly headbutted Xero in the gut! Making Xero bend over, Flexxx  grabbed Xero’s head and climbed up to the second-highest rope… then he raised his arms up in the air, and got the crowd behind him one step through the way…

 

 

“EX!!!”

 

 

“EX!!!”

 

 

“EEEEEEEEEX!!!!!!!”

 

With that said, Flexxx finally jumped forward, still holding Xero’s head in his hands for the Golden Gun! And when he collided with the ground, Xero’s entire face crash-landed into the mat, setting the entire rest of his body in a whiplash and almost crushing his skull!

 

Axis : “THE GOLDEN GUN!!! FLEXXX HAS THIS MATCH WON…… WITH A BANG!”

 

Slowly bringing himself to the task at hand, Flexxx flipped Xero’s body over and covered him for the pin…

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!

 

“DING! DING! DING!”

 

 

Funyon : “The winner of this singles matchup, via submission……. THA FLUNK-MASTA FLEEEEEEEEXXX!!!!!”

 

As “Sleep Now in the Fire” by Rage Against the Machine blared over the large IGNTron speakers, Flexxx quickly let go and fell on the ground, panting to regain his breath. When he finally got back onto his feet, the referee raised his arm up in the air and the crowd of excited Australians cheered for his efforts! He had also won the first round of the tournament, moving up to the winners’ circle!

 

Axis : “Wow… what a close matchup! But all in the end, it was the man with the Golden Bullet that mattered! And with that, Flexxx has succeeded in the first part of the tournament!”

 

Edwin : “Ah, but you forget, we have more lab mice…. er, wrestlers! Two more big matches… coming up NEXT! After the commercial break…”

 

(fade to black)

[Guest crusen86]

(The lights are up, the crowd is hot. SJL Crimson is on the air! So get your BUTT in your seat Mister!!!

 

(cut to the announcer's table where Axis is sitting gloomily between Comissioner MacPhisto and Sacred)

 

Edwin: Welcome back to Crimson! Match three of tonight's inaugural "Win and get your BUTT in the SWF" tournament is coming up, and it's widely regarded as the closest match to call tonight, between Renegade, Master of Havoc and his former stablemate, newest Clan member and enemy of truth light and beauty, Annie Eclectic!

 

Axis: Enemy of Truth, Light, and Beauty?

 

Edwin: She's Clan, I hate her. Fin.

 

Axis: ... and again, here with us tonight as special commentator, the SWF's own Sacred!

 

Sacred: The SWF US Champion, Sacred! And this match is over, because I've seen the winner!

 

Axis: Seen? What, you're psychic?

 

Sacred: No, I just saw Annie Eclectic backstage and she's going to win.

 

Axis: What makes you think that?

 

Sacred: She's EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!!!!! Mwahahahahah!

 

(Axis puts his head in his hands and shakes)

 

Axis:*thinking* Do I really need the extra money this much? Maybe I can persuade Flink to take my place here... he'd fit...

 

(Axis looks over at Edwin)

 

Edwin: *singing* In sleep he sang to me..... In dreams he came.....

 

(Axis turns to Sacred)

 

Sacred: *singing* Eeeeevil.... Evil is his one and only name.... Wa Ha Ha!

 

(Axis cradles his head back in his hands)

 

Axis: Maybe we could talk more about the match...

 

Edwin: The Match! IT should be a vicious one, and I'm glad I booked it. First round of the double elimination tournament. Renegade, former leader of Havoc and recently regaining favor of the JL Fandom is looking to extract revenge on Annie E when she... uh...

 

Axis: Extracted revenge?

 

Edwin: Perfect! Now I know why you do this part so much.... when Annie extracted revenge for Renegade's headbanging performance on her. Which she did back to him... Call me strange...

 

Axis: Is it necessary?

 

Edwin: ...but we may just see another chair-shot symphony from one of these two tonight!

 

Sacred: Which will of course be Annie Eclectic.

 

Axis: You seem sure on this Sacred. She's unstable, but what else have you seen of her?

 

Sacred: You haven't *seen* her yet.

 

Axis: Yes... yes we have.

 

Sacred: Trust me.... better yet, don't! Wa ha!

 

(Axis lolls back in his chair groaning as the camera turns to show Funyon, preparing for the match's introductions.)

 

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, this match, set for one fall is a first round matchup in the JL double elimination tournament!

 

(crowd cheers as the insane event continues)

 

Funyon: Introducing first... from New York City....

 

("PICK UP THE PACE" echoes through the crowd as the intro to "(SIC)" by Slipknot plays... the vocals kick in as the muscular black-clad man appears from behind the curtain.)

 

Funyon: Weighing in at two hundred, sixty pounds.... Renegade!!!

 

(Renegade looks at the ground, then lifts his head and gives himself a self high-five as pyro goes off at the same time. Walking towards the ring, he raises his hands to the crowd, who appreciate having 'their' Renegade back. Reaching ringside, he rolls into the ring, stands in the center of the ring, slaps his hand across his own chest and raises his hand high as if to proclaim that the victory tonight will be his.)

 

Edwin: Renegade looks fully recovered from the attack laid on him by a nasty woman who's name shall not be mentioned.

 

Sacred: You mean.... ANNIE E???

 

Edwin: AUGH!!!!

 

Sacred: I'm so EVIL! MWA HA HA!

 

Axis: Why me.....

 

(Renegade takes a corner and looks ramp-ways as an image fades in on the SmarkTron. The image focuses to show a stylized image of a pair of eyes, each eye surrounded by a white teardrop shape trailing down to points where the cheekbone would start, showing on a black background. A synthesized tin-like tone resonates throughout the arena and bends as the image changes to a white background, the teardrop shapes turning blood red and dripping down the screen. The Arena turns dark as two red spotlights shine on the entrance ramp.)

 

Funyon: And his opponent, from the Shinjuku region of Tokyo, Japan.

 

(The tones repeat as if an electrical funeral procession begins as the first synthesized note of the song rings out. The Ultraviolence Theme to A Clockwork Orange plays though the arena)

 

Funyon: Weighing in at one hundred forty pounds... The Assassin Queen of the Clan.... LADY RED!

 

Axis and Edwin: WHAT?

 

(A figure in a red flowered hooded kimono appears from the behind the curtain and walks down the entrance ramp, red spotlights following her. Her steps follow in time to the electronica funeral march playing over the PA. The crowd hisses or boos, but almost silently, as if the enitire crowd's emotion was sucked out of them. Halfway down the ramp, the woman pulls the hood up, showing a raven-hiared oriental beauty, her face painted white, with blood red teardrops around her eyes, trailing down to her cheeks. She stares hard at her opponent, who growls from inside the ring, coming up to the near ropes to yell in her direction. The leader of Havoc screams his frustrations out as Lady Red simply watches, emotionally detached. Ignoring the Renegade Mastah's rant, she slowly walks towards the rings steps, stopping at the middle step to remove her ceremonial kimono. As the robe slips to her feet, the male section of the crowd lustily cheers as the lithe body underneath is clad in a form fitting crimson bodysuit. Renegade pays the woman's body no mind however as he makes a pre-emptive strike towards the assassin, but is halted by a quick knife edge thrust to his throat, dropping the muscular man to his knees, causing an unfavorable reaction from the audience.)

 

DING DING DING

 

(The lights raise again as the crimson woman steps through the ropes and awaits her opponent to rise to his feet.)

 

Axis: What... the hell... did the Clan do to HER?

 

Edwin:"Look what I did to you, again!"

 

Axis: Don't quote him.

 

Sacred: I'm somewhat impressed. It's almost as if she embodies EVIL! Of course she can't, as *I* embody evil... but she comes mighty close.

 

Axis: Does evil automatically come in a sexy red bodysuit?

 

Sacred: Not always red... but evil is *always* sexy!

 

Axis: I bet, collar-elbow tie up in the ring if anyone cares to watch the match.

 

(The two wrestlers have locked up in the center of the ring, each struggling to make some sort of advantage in the match. With a sharp tug, the Renegade Mastah gets whipped hard into the ropes, as Lady Red crouched sideways in a Karate side stance. Upon his return, Renegade is dropped with a sharp forward throat thrustchop from the Assassin. The referee steps in to admonish the woman who just stares back straight into the eyes fo the referee. Suddenly the official backs off silently.)

 

Axis: I don't like that development. Edwin, we need better referees for this if they're going to be intimidated!

 

Edwin: Do I look like a Human Resources Department?

 

(Pulling the downed fighter up to his knees, Lady Red starts a series of hard kicks to the sides of Renegade, but getting caught by surprise on the third kick as Renegade smartly catches the kick and spins the Assassin down to the mat in a Dragon Twist, much to the appreciation of the fans)

 

Axis: Excellent counter by Renegade.

 

Sacred: It is nothing to a creature of such evil!

 

Edwin: You seem to know a lot about evil, Sacred...

 

Sacred: I *AM* evil! Mwa ha ha!

 

Axis: And to imagine that Edwin comes out with sarcasm, and someone else doesn't get it. Well! I don't need to be here... (gets up to leave)

 

Edwin: Sit down Axis.

 

Axis: Damn.

 

(Renegade pounces on his fallen opponent, sending hard rights to the face and head of the Lady. The crowd "woo"'s at each strike, until the referee pulls the Renegade Mastah off of the Assassin to avoid a disqualification. Renegade stands to his feet and waits for his opponent to begin to rise. As she does, he drops anelbow hard into the small of her back, the audience cheering. Sliding over, Renegade turns the woman towards him, and hooks a leg for a cover)

 

 

ONE....

 

TWO....

 

TH..... leg on the rope!

 

Axis: Lucky escape for the Assassin, who might have gotten a quick exit from the first round of this tournament!

 

Edwin: Good thing she didn't though.

 

Axis: Don't tell me you're taking a side here!

 

Edwin: Of course not, but short matches are horrible on the ratings. Unless you have some bald ex-jock running off thre hundred of them.

 

Axis: Copyrights Edwin.....

 

Edwin: What? They're gone, who's going to sue?

 

Sacred: I will! Why? Because I'm eeeeeeviiiiiiiil!

 

Axis: I'm really beginning to think manual masturbation of farm animals for artificial insemination would be a better job than this.

 

Edwin: And *I* get admonished for copying people? Huzzah!

 

(Dragging his opponent to her feet, Renegade whips his opponent to the ropes, preparing for a backflip upon her return, but the Assassin hops over the lowered Renegade adn bounces off the far ropes. Renegade tries for a clothesline on her return, but the Assassin ducks under, dodging the Mastah again. Renegade turns adn simply stands waiting for his opponent. Lady Red flies off the ropes, preparing to attack this time herself by leaping into a flying cross body, but Renegade simply catches the light woman in his arms and looks into the crowd with a smile of sadistic pleasure)

 

Axis: I predict that Lady Red isn't in for a good time tonight, as Renegade catches the Assassin off the ropes!

 

Sacred: Hey! I predict things, and Lady Red is still going to win! Mark my words!

 

(In one smooth motion, Renegade sweeps his own legs out from under him, darting forward and crushing the Assassin under his weight on the mat. Quickly rising to his feet, he raises both of Lady Red's feet high into the air, stepping throughthem and placing his foot by the Assassin's hip. Bending on leg so that the two legs cross, Renegade twists both bodies in an attempt to turn over the hold...)

 

Axis: Renegade is going for the Rage! This could be it for the new Clan member!

 

(Renegade kicks to his side hard, forcing momentum enough to allow him to turn his opponent over in a sharpshooter. The Assassin stares stoically as shetries to get out of the hold, but Renegade is already trying to slide the top foot higher to sinch in an ankle lock, completing the Rage. Lady Red begins twisting her right foot frantically, hoping to delay the inevitable. Renegade fumbles with the ankle lock however, the twisting foot not allowing him to get a firm grip on the ankle, and in his fumble he loosens his grip on the Assassin's legs. in one quick sweep, the Lady slips out of the hold, gets to her feet behind her opponent and snakes her left arm around Renegade's and puts her right arm around his throat. Linking both hands to both her wrists, the Lady cinches in her hold...)

 

Sacred: Amazing counter.... of evil!!!

 

Axis: Shut.... UP! Crossface Chickenwing submission hold, but she always uses that to set up her Triple C.... can she drop the nearly twice-her-size Renegade to the mat however?

 

(Lady Red tries to pull but her opponent resists through the pain and stays on his feet. Renegade tries to lean forward, keeping inertia on his side as Lady Red tries in vian to pull him backwards to cinch in the Triple C lock. In an act of pure desperation, the Assassin leaps onto Renegade's back, hoping the force will topple him forward, but Renegade straightens and stands perfectly straight, wowing the crowd with his strength. Again sweeping his legs out from under his own body, Renegade drops back and crushes the Assassin under his weight, releasing the lock on himself.)

 

Axis: Another amazing counter as these two wrestlers go back and forth in this match, neither fighter gaining a pure advantage over the other!

 

Edwin: This is the SJL folks, remember and keep watching! Keep our ratings high, MacPhistoooooooooo Style! WOOOO!

 

Axis: 'Ratings MacPhisto Style'?

 

Edwin: Exactly Axis, indeed!

 

(Running sideways to the ropes, Renegade runs back with a fast leg drop to the throat of the Assassin and covers for a pin...)

 

 

ONE.....

 

TWO.....

 

THR.....no! Kick out!

 

(Renegade gives a disappointed look towards the referee, but focuses on his opponent, pulling her upwards to her feet. Hard lefts and rights find their mark, forcing the Assassin backwards. Reeling, Lady Red finds herself trapped from behind with a turnbuckle and facing more vicious punches from her opponent. Renegade rears back and lays the hardest right cross straight to the mouth of Lady Red, slumping her against the corner. Running to the opposite corner, the Renegade Mastah points to his opponent and looks to the crowd, cheering him on to destroy the dispicable woman before him. With a charge, Renegade flies forward shoulder first in a spear attack... only to catch the ring post behind the turnbuckle as the Assassin turns out of the way! The force of the spear carries Renegade all the way to the outside floor, clutching his shoulder as he lands face first. Seeing her opponent fall, Lady Red walks to the ropes facing Renegade and grips the top rope with both hands...)

 

Axis: Wait... what is she going to do... don't bring this over here Red!

 

Edwin: Wait... the crowd would love this.... ratings! Fly naughty girl! Fly!

 

(Pulling back on the top rope, Lady Red catapults herself forward, dropping an elbow from the ring to the fallen Renegade on the floor below! Taking a second to catch her bearing, the Assassin darts towards Funyon, chasing the announcer off his chair. Taking the vacated weapon, Lady Red folds it flat, red begining to dribble from her mouth. The referee darts outside and grabs the chair in the Assassin's hands, threatening a disqualification if she uses the weapon. The woman just stares back at the official with the same vacant threatening look as before, and the referee lets go and steps back, making sure not to trip on the steel ring steps behind him. Turning to attack her opponent with the chair... Lady Red gets a sight of the flying Renegade as the fighter spears the Assassin into the steel ring steps!

 

Axis: Spear into the steps! The Assassin has just buckled, showing this woman is just human like the rest of us.

 

Sacred: But Evil ALWAYS prevails! Worry not, dear friends, this Renegade will be utterly destroyed as I predicted, because evil is good! Wait... it isn't...

 

Edwin: Oh do shut up!

 

Axis: Edwin, starting to feel like you're in my shoes now?

 

Edwin: I don't have a clue what you mean by that.

 

(Collapsed against the now separated steel steps, the Assassin lays still as Renegade rises to his feet. Looking to his right, a fallen chair is at his feet. The referee walks up to him and calls for him to get in the ring as he rolls inside himself, standing up to force a count on the two fighters. Picking up the chair, Renegade looks at his opponent, as the crowd begins to realize his intentions.)

 

 

ONE......

 

Axis: It might just be revenge time for Renegade, getting a free shot as it were against the woman who battered his own head with that same weapon!

 

TWO......

 

(Renegade cinches his grip on the chair's feet, unsure if he should do what his mind tells him is perfectly acceptable revenge.)

 

Edwin: I don't think it was that exact chair Axis....

 

THREE......

 

(Renegade makes his mental decision, and walks back, making sure to get a good bearing on his fallen opponent, just as she begins to stir.....)

 

Axis: It was for effect Edwin, I know it probably isn't the same chair but she used a chair on him on Metal, who cares about semantics?

 

FOUR.......

 

(Renegade makes a running start, chair trailing behind him as if preparing to behead the Assassin. The woman however has opened her eyes, catching a running Renegade barreling towards her....)

 

Edwin: I do! You said it was the same chair and it isn't! Wooooo! Eddy Mac wins again!

 

FIVE........

 

(Renegade swings his arms forward, making for a sandwich chair shot to the Assassin's head as Lady Red can do nothing but take a breath.....)

 

Axis: Win what? And more importantly.... who cares?

 

SIX........

 

(Lady Red's head meets the steel chair just a red cloud comes from nowhere, meeting Renegade's face. Renegade staggers backwards as Lady Red rolls away, cluthing at her own head....)

 

Sacred: Hey! Major evil things happening here and you two argue about a chair? I could steal your jobs easily! Maybe I should... I am.... EVIL after all... mwa ha ha!!!

 

SEVEN..........

 

(Lady Red gets to her feet just as Renegade tries to clear his eyes of the thick red fluid that has found its way in. The Assassin staggers around, trying to shake off the pain racking her head.....)

 

Axis and Edwin: SHUT UP!!!

 

EIGHT.........

 

(With effort, the addled mind of Lady Red reaches the ring apron and rolls her body up onto the ring under the ropes, only to roll back outside, breaking the count....)

 

Axis: The color is different, but the effect is the same, the disgusting red mist from Lady Red, an attack that stings your eyes and blinds you at the same time....

 

 

ONE........

 

 

 

Edwin: Renegade doesn't seem too pained from this however....

 

(Renegade gets up to his feet, still wiping his eyes as Lady Red grabs one of the steel step segments....)

 

TWO........

 

 

(....and tosses the hollow step towards Renegade, covering the Renegade Mastah's head in steel, staggering him slightly. Eyeing her opponent, Lady Red takes a side step....)

 

 

THREE.........

 

 

(.... and catches Renegade with a superkick to the face! Renegade immediately drops backwards, landing flat and causing the steel step segment to roll off, leaving a red covered fighter out on the ground.)

 

 

Sacred: What an EVIL attack!

 

Axis: Enough with the evil! ....Lady Red with a steel-enhanced superkick, flooring Renegade to the outside!

 

FOUR..........

 

(Lady Red rolls back into the ring, breaking the count. Stoic, the woman walks to the near turnbuckle and begins to climb, continually staring at her fallen opponent. At the top, she stands to her full height and raises her hands to the sky, as the crowd boos the oncoming attack. Ignoring the referee's warnings, the Assassin leaps high into the air, turning forward one and a quarter turns in mid air and landing hard.... on bare floor as Renegade rolls out of the way in the nick of time as the audience roars in happiness!

 

Axis: The Assassin misses! The give and take continues as each fighter keeps topping each other, can Renegade capitalize on this?

 

(Renegade slowly works himself up to his feet, dragging himself to the Assassin, laying fetal on the ground, having caught nothing but concrete at fifteen feet.Rising to his feet at the count of three, Renegade drags the troublesome woman to her feet and rolls her back into the ring, following in himself. landing a swift kick to her ribs, Renegade takes his time pulling Lady Red back to her feet. Whipping her to the corner, Renegade follows in with a hard clothesline. Cathing his breath, Renegade follows with a hard series of knees to the stomach of Lady Red. The Assassin raises her head and moves her mouth, her words lost in the noise to everyone but Renegade. His reaction, is not lost, as anger contorts his face. Grabbing the Assassin's arm, he whips her hard to the other corner, and follows with a dropkick. Getting to his feet he whips the woman back to the first corner, clotheslining her on his return. More knee strikes, each one getting faster and harder as emotion takes over the Renegade Mastah's mind. Punches land hard over and over again on the face of Lady Red as the crowd cheers him on.)

 

Axis: Renegade has lost it in the ring! Lady Red may have said soemthing, I'm not sure, but whatever it was completely unhinged Renegade!

 

Edwin: Really? He's mad? How can you tell Axis?

 

Sacred: Because he's acting....

 

Axis: You say 'evil' one more time, I'm driving your head through the table, Sacred.

 

Sacred: Really Axis, shall we take the ring after these two?

 

Axis: I'm not afraid of a nutjob like you

 

Edwin: Guys, guys.... S *J* *L*, not 'WF' sit back down or I start singing showtunes again.

 

(Both men look at Edwin, then each other, and give up on their aggression)

 

Edwin: Of course, I never said I wouldn't sing if you sat either! Ha Ha! Go Eddy Mac! Wooooo!

 

Axis: I hate my job. It's official.

 

 

(Renegade pulls up on Lady Red's chin, forcing her weak eyes to open and look at her opponent. Renegade screams into her face, egging her to say something. Letting go, he slaps her hard on the face, eliciting a "WOOOO" from the crowd. Renegade slaps again, with another yell from the crowd, and Lady Red lifts her head up to look straight into his eyes. Opening her mouth, a flood of red tumbles out of her mouth and onto her bodysuit, forcing her to close her mouth again....)

 

Axis: She's bleeding from the mouth, how long has that cut lasted?

 

Edwin: Wait.... Axis, I don't think there *is* red mist in the league....

 

Axis: *realizing* Oooooh, I think I'm going to be sick.

 

Sacred: Using blood like mist! I think I'm going to write that one down.... brilliant!

 

(Even the referee looks green as the realization of Lady Red's silence is revealed. Renegade smiles with satisfaction and slaps the Assassin again for good measure, but the woman stares straight back at him. Renegade begins to scream again, taunting her and trying to get her to talk again, knowing she cant. The Lady inhales as if to speak and Renegade stands, waiting to see what she has to say. Opening her mouth, the Assassin spits a huge fountain of blood onto the face of Renegade, temporarily blinding him, and sickening almost everyone else. As Renegade staggers back from the new wave of blood blinding him, the Assassin calmly hops up to the second rope and leaps off, catching the blinded Renegade's head under her arm in mid air, and twisting with momentum, planting his head hard onto the mat, silencing the crowd with surprise.)

 

Axis: And the Assassin takes over! She enrages Renegade, takes a beating, by design? Just to set up a tornado DDT?

 

Edwin: Maybe masochism is a job description for assassins. Or mabye a job description for the Clan, they're all sick in the head.

 

Sacred: Bah to the Clan, I'm more than a match for all of them, I could dismantle them right here and lay claim to the most evil man in the Smarks Wrestling Federation! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!

 

Axis: Well, I see there's just one more match left, then I can sleep and dream of being.... I don't know.... *somewhere else*

 

(Rolling the stunned Renegade onto his stomach, Lady Red straddles herself over his back. Snaking her left arm around Renegade's and her right around his throat, the Assassin sets up another crossface chickenwing. Locking hand in wrist, the Lady pulls up and back, resting her elbows on her knees, locking in her Crossface Chickenwing Clutch.)

 

Axis: Triple C! Center of the ring, Triple C, and it's fully locked in. This is a very disheartening vision....

 

Edwin: Renegade can get out of this mark my words!

 

Sacred: What makes you foolishly believe that Edwin?

 

Edwin: Because he's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! OH! Edwin 1 Sacred 0! You can't hanng with me Sacred! WOOOOOOO!

 

Axis: I actually found that funny Edwin! The world must be ready to explode.

 

(The pain brings back Renegade from his momentary stunned state. His free arm stretches about, but can't find rope to break the hold quickly. His shoulder's and back ache, and the air is starting to have trouble finding ways to his brain as the lock gets cinched in tighter. Empty containers and cans start making their way into the ring from the audience as the Assassin locks in her hold, her face bloody but stoic, showing no emotion as she tries to rip her opponent's shoulder off his body and choke him to unconciousness. Renegade places his hand flat underneath himself, and points his toes down to the mat. Mustering as much strength as he can, he begins to lift.....)

 

Axis: Look at the stregth of Renegade! Under extreme stress, he's lifting himself slowly back up! There is hope yet for the fan favorite in the ring!

 

Sacred: There is no hope for him.

 

(Renegade lifts himself, the space between his torso and the mat ever so slowly growing. The crowd cheers, getting behind their hero, clapping for him to defeat the Clanswoman. With great effore, Renegade gets up to his knees... just as lady Red pushes off slightly with her legs, and crashes her rear onto the small of Renegade's back, forcing him back down to the mat. The crowd yells for Renegade to try again, even as he puts his hand back flat on the mat. He pushes, trying to gain the same lift he had before, but the Lady has her feet farther out ahead of him, and is streatching the Renegade Mastah's body further, arching his back as she cuts off his air supply. With his strength leaving him, his arm weakens and Renegade relegates to leaving his hand high in the air, signalling his will to survive. The crowd chants his name fervently, not wanting him to give up, but his arm wavers. His face grows deeper shades of blue, refusing to submit to someone as horrid as Lady Red. With one last burst of strength, Renegade tries for another push, but almost immediately falls back flat, his brain finally unable to accept any more oxygen. The referee raises the man's hand high, and drops it, the hand crashing to the mat. The Assassin refuses to release the hold as the referee lifts the hand high in the air and drops it, a second crash to the mat. The crowd yells louder, trying to engage their hero's adrenaline, wanting to will him back to conciousness. The referee raises the man's hand again and lets go.... as it crashes to the mat for a third time. The referee signalls for the bell....)

 

 

DING DING DING

 

 

Funyon: Your winner, but submission.... Lady... RED!

 

Axis: Renegade never willingly quit fans, but his body just couldn't breathe, and his system shut down. But I have never seen anyone resist this debilitating hold like Renegade has, and I can only feel more respect for this man who never gave up on his own.

 

(Lady Red rolls Renegade onto his back and straddles his chest, staring into his unconcious face. Opening her mouth towards her open hands, she lets her own blood pour from her cut mouth into her hands, closing only when they have been covered. Turning her palms towards Renegade, her hands paint the exact design on her own face onto her fallen opponent. Having finished, she extends a single finger and marks an 'X' in blood onto his forehead. Standing up, she motions for Funyon's microphone, who somewhat unwillingly throws it to her. She bends down, her mouth an inch away from Renegade's ear...)

 

 

Lady Red: *hoarse throaty voice* You have been marked. You are the first to fall to Lady Red. The rest of this league will follow until none are left..... So says.... the Clan!

 

 

(The Ultraviolence Theme to A Clockwork Orange begins to play anew as Lady Red steps through the ring ropes and hops to the outside. Grabbing her ceremonial kimono, the Assassin wraps herself up and puts her hood over her head, slowly walking back to the backstage area.)

 

 

Axis: That is one of the most disturbed people in this league.

 

Sacred: Disturbed like a FOX!

 

Axis: .... I can't hear it anymore quite frankly.... Folks stay tuned for our main event tonight as K-Os takes on Low Brass in the final match of the first round of the JL Contract tournament!

 

Edwin: Ratings! Ratings! Ratings! Stay tuned!!!

 

(cut to commercial)

[Guest crusen86]

Axis: The crowd is roaring here in lovely Melbourne, Australia!  

 

Edwin: The SJL is alive and ready as they are getting their things back in order after a slight transition period involving some legal matters.  However, the Australian tour is continuing without any glitches, and tonight the SJL arrives at the Rod Laver Arena.  

 

Axis: The tournament of tournaments in the SJL began tonight, and waiting for the victors are two brand SPANKING new contracts to the SWF!!  

 

Edwin: That’s right, Axis.  Already we have seen the tremendous fighting spirit that moves in conjunction with a tournament of such status.  But there is one match remaining in the first round

 

Sacred: That’s right.  And though the upcoming match between…. K-OS!  … and LOW BRASS!! … will be one HELL of a match, K-Os does not come close to me when it comes to evil.  For I am the most evil.  Why, I could easily defeat K-Os in a contest of who has the most evil in them.  Yes, I AM evil.

 

Axis: Sure you are Sacred.  But on with the match!

 

Axis must have excellent timing skills, because just as he figures that the match should begin there is an ear-shattering CRASH that echoes inside the Rod Laver Arena!  Thousands of what looks like red confetti, but is actually massive sparks, rains down from IGNtron, as if some cloud of fire has formed.  Suddenly, there is a slight break in the middle of the sparks.  The crowd heckles and mocks K-Os, who gradually passes through the drops of fire and makes his way towards the arena.  His theme music, “Down” by STP, fits with the evil theme of surrounding K-Os.  Behind K-Os, on the massive screen known as the IGNtron, there are rising flames throbbing to the beat of the music.  Step by step, K-Os marches down the treacherous steel ramp, towards the place where he feels he is greater than all others, a wrestling ring.

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following matchup is scheduled for one fall, and is the FINAL match in the first round of this SJL Tournament!  Introducing first, whereabouts unknown, age unknown, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and FIFTY nine pounnndsss, he is a member of THE CLAAAANNN… KKKKAAAAAAAAAAA-OOOOOOOOOSSSSSS!!!

 

K-Os continues to glare down at the ramp where he walks till he finally stops once the ring apron is in his view.  The crowd continues to jeer at the SJL Champion who has been a tribulation to everybody since his return.  BOOM!  CRASH!  CRASH!  Massive bursts of pyro explode from the ring in the center of the stadium.  Yet, as many times as this has happened, the crowd is momentarily blinded, forgetting to avert their eyes.  During the brief period of non-visibility, K-Os manages to slip into the center of the ring like a David Blaine.

 

Sacred: He thinks he’s sooooo evil.  “Oh, look at me, I’m K-Os, blah blah blah, I can bliiiiiiind people.”  Bah I say, BAH!

 

Axis: Yes, Sacred.  Bah.

 

Edwin: To continue on…

 

Axis: Sorry.

 

Sacred: I evilly shun you!  +evilly shuns Edwin+

 

Edwin: Huh?  Well, K-Os is the SJL Champion.  Do you think that Low Brass has what it takes to defeat him, Axis?

 

Axis: Quite possibly.  Low Brass has the advantage art of experience over almost everybody in this league, INCLUDING K-Os.  Brass has been here for almost a year now!  I think that this tournament could be the big moment in the sun that he’s been waiting for.

 

Edwin: We’ll just have to wait and see.

 

Sacred: I still shun you!

 

Edwin: Meh.

 

Suddenly the crowd leaps to their tippy-toes.  The massive array of cheers does not even begin to describe the wave of joy that has overcome the Australian crowd.  A green aura fills the arena as blaring saxophone notes reverberate in the arena, bouncing off the walls, echoing in the heads of the audience.  “BRASS MONKEY!!” The crowd screams out those two words as the Beastie Boys begin to lay out a truly marvelous rhyme routine.  Low Brass bursts onto the scene, almost literally bringing the house down.  He throws his fist into the air, index and pinky fingers extended, and the crowd replies with the same motion.  Low Brass taps his foot and bobs his head to the music as he walks with a renewed spirit down the ramp.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, making his way to the ring… from Redmond, Washington, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED and THIRTY three pounnndsss, he is the leader of EXX FORCE NIIIINE…  LOOOWWWWWW BRRRAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

 

Low Brass rushes down the ramp like an Olympic sprinter.  He slides under the bottom rope and takes a stance in the center of the ring.  The crowd begins to clap with the beat of the song while Low Brass dances the new phenomenon of dancing that has found its way into the very core of America’s schooling system.  

 

Sacred: He doesn’t even come CLOSE to how much evil is in me!

 

Edwin: He doesn’t try to be evil.

 

Sacred: Well that’s where is problem lies… hey!  I’m still shunning you!

 

Edwin: …

 

Axis: …

 

Sacred: …okay I’m done.

 

Low Brass ceases dancing and begins to feel the emotions of the crowd.  He telegraphs the energy in the arena into his mind, focusing on the task at hand.  Meanwhile, K-Os rests against the far turnbuckle, studying his opponent, searching for weaknesses as if he has some sort of… weakness-detecting device.  The referee says a few words to K-Os, then says the same to Low Brass.  Both men nod their heads to the official, who now signals for the start of the match.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

K-Os seemingly rises to his feet without any effort and marches to the center of the ring, glaring at Low Brass.  Brass ceases from absorbing the energy from the crowd and steps over to K-Os.  Standing right next to each other, it is easily noticeable that Low Brass is the taller of the two, but K-Os appears to be slightly more massive, evening out the height factor.  Low Brass gazes intently into the evil eyes of K-Os, who returns the gaze into Low Brass’ eyes of euphoria.  At the exact same moment, both men take one step away from each other, as if pushed by an invisible hand.  They crouch down, taking the traditional wrestling stance, and begin to encircle each other.  They slowly step to the right again and again.  The tensions rise as the distance between the K-Os and Low Brass compacts.  Suddenly K-Os takes the initiative and lunges at Low Brass, startling him.  As the two lock up, K-Os begins to lean forward, causing Low Brass to lean back.  But Low Brass uses his sheer force of will and reverses the push, making K-Os lean back.  Both men stand up fully again as Low Brass swings around K-Os back, locking in a classic hammerlock.  K-Os quickly reverses the hold, swinging Low Brass’ arm behind his back.  Low Brass instinctively reverses the hold and uses K-Os arm to nail a hiptoss!  K-Os shove himself up from the floor and rushes Brass, who uses the momentum to execute another hiptoss!  K-Os rises once again, only to be dragged into a massive powerslam!!  Low Brass goes for a snobby quick pin, just to frustrate K-Os.

 

Sacred: Low Brass seems to be more evil than K-Os.

 

Axis: Well he isn’t.  He’s just trying to piss him off.

 

Sacred: That’s evil.

 

Edwin: No it isn’t.

 

Sacred: It isn’t?

 

Axis: No.

 

Sacred: Wait, you guys are just trying to confuse me with your OWN petty evilness.  Well my evil abilities overpower you all!  Listen to the cheering of this crowd.  They adore Low Brass.  But watch this.  

 

Sacred stands up and motions at the crowd.

 

Axis: Nothing is happening.

 

Sacred: They’re booing me.

 

Edwin: They’re still cheering Low Brass.

 

Sacred: But they boo him in their minds.  That’s even more hate than actually booing.  Cause when they can cheer out loud, but jeer in their minds… well that’s a sign of true evil.

 

Axis: …damn you’re stupid.

 

After a minor two-count pin, K-Os kicks out and rises to his feet.  He’s pissed that Low Brass would be cocky enough to go for a pin already.  Low Brass quickly grabs K-Os head and nails a snapmare.  Brass can feel his momentum rising and he waits for K-Os to get back up.  Low Brass rushes, but K-Os eludes the funky monkey.  BAM!  K-Os clotheslines Brass with enough force to topple the Hville Thugg.  Low Brass rises to his feet, but staggers back, dizzied by the fall.  K-Os quickly rushes Brass with another clothesline near the turnbuckle.  Brass falls down again, but K-Os pulls him up right away and whips him across the ring into the far turnbuckle.  Low Brass regains his senses and rushes K-Os.  POW!  K-Os nails a drop toe hold on Low Brass into the bottom turnbuckle pad!!  The champ then quickly grabs Brass’ legs and locks in a Boston Crab!!!

 

Edwin: WOAH!  Where did that come from?!

 

Axis: Brass better escape this quick.  This move is extremely dangerous, especially with a man like K-Os in charge of it.

 

Low Brass immediately raises his right hand and grabs hold of the ropes next to him.  The referee calls for the rope break, but K-Os refuses to let go so soon.  After a count of four, K-Os drops the move, just before a disqualification.  Low Brass rests for a moment as K-Os plans his next course of action.  As Brass begins to pull himself to his feet, K-Os grabs him from behind and lifts him up for a back suplex!  Brass crashes down like a boulder, flipping over his head and onto his stomach.  However, K-Os has dizzied himself slightly after taking such simple moves and turning them into massive weapons of destruction.  The crowd yells out in anger, showing their hate for the champion.  Obscenities are shouted, but K-Os shrugs them off like any other.  The champ, who’s past is shrouded in mystery, kicks Brass off his knees and goes for a pin.

 

One!  Two!  Kickout!  Low Brass raises that shoulder to the delight of the crowd.  The malicious K-Os quickly grabs Brass’ legs, crosses them, and steps over for a Texas Cloverleaf!!  K-Os immediately decides to drain most of his energy to making this the ultimate Texas Cloverleaf.  He rears back with Low Brass’ legs in hand, creating tremendous, insurmountable pressure and pain to Low Brass’ lower back.  Brass holds in the screaming, but the pain is entirely visible in his face.  K-Os continues to pull back harder and farther as the referee checks with Low Brass, who is struggling to break free.  The XF9er rolls back and forth, trying to knock K-Os off balance, but the Clan member keeps his hold.  Low Brass throws his face into the mat, but only for a moment.  K-Os rears back even farther, causes Low Brass to leap up in pain.  The sudden jolt causes K-Os to lose his footing and fall to the side!!  Low Brass’ legs flop to the mat and he lies immobile.  K-Os too does not move, as he fleetingly spent himself to use that move.  

 

Axis: Poor K-Os.  That guy still has more to learn about stamina.

 

Edwin: He just needs some more time, he’ll get it all down.

 

Sacred: Not as much as me though.  I wouldn’t have collapses like that.  I would have made Brass tap out and gone on to get the WF contract.  Oh… wait, I’m already in the WF!  Take that you JL punk!  Wuahahahahah!

 

Axis: Hey, leave these JLers alone, they never did anything to you.

 

Edwin: Yeah.  You don’t even know the meaning of the word “Panda.”  …er, I mean “JL.”  Is that even a word?  Well, nevermind.  Damnit.  Axis, you hassle him.

 

Axis: You’ve already ruined it Edwin.

 

Sacred: Har har har!  I defeat all!

 

Low Brass moves like a sloth, his weathered body cannot take much more at the moment.  The demonstrative K-Os crawls too, towards the ropes, towards a way to regain the match in his favor.  Brass continues to apply himself and relentlessly forces himself to get up.  K-Os is not as motivated, but strives to rise again in this match.  The battered Low Brass is the first to regain his vertical normalcy, but does not hold his composure.  He leans against the turnbuckle while, about 20 feet away from him, K-Os is pulling himself up at the turnbuckle.  Low Brass eyes this and begins to construe an attack in his mind.  K-Os is clueless to his whereabouts for now, as he is just trying to stand up.  Once he does, thought, K-Os knows exactly where he is.  He quickly spins around… bad idea K-Os.  The 180-degree spin throws the member of the new Clan off balance, staggering back into the turnbuckle.  He recuperates, though, and shakes off any misconceptions he has.  K-Os prioritizes his list of things to do, and gazes at Low Brass, only to be befuddled by the vividness of the dancing fool.  Low Brass appears to be exercising, doing jumping jacks.  But this is only in the mind of K-Os.  After a few more seconds of staring, K-Os’ rods and cones return to their normal functioning and he can see that Low Brass is just stooped over on the ropes.  K-Os smiles malevolently at the opportunity before him.  WOOSH!  K-Os gives himself a head start, shoving himself from the turnbuckle with his foot.  Low Brass waits.  K-Os runs.  Low Brass waits.  K-Os runs.  Low Brass leaps forward at K-Os, tosses the champion up, and throws him to the mat with a spinebuster!!!  The move does just that, it busts K-Os spine.  K-Os writhes in pain as Low Brass drops down for a pin.

 

ONE!  TWO!

 

…NO!  K-Os manages the kickout!  Low Brass quixotically tries for another pin!!

 

ONE!  TWO!  KICKOUT!  Low Brass goes for another win attempt!

 

ONE! TW.. KICKOUT BEFORE TWO!  Low Brass rolls back lividly and pops up to his feet.  He shoves the referee against the turnbuckle as the audience supports him with chants of “Low Brass!  Low Brass!”  The referee tries to stay out of anything in the match other than officiating, but Low Brass continues to harass him.  Finally Brass just shrugs the frustration away and begins anew.  Brass waits for K-Os to get back up… Suplex!!  Low Brass pulls K-Os up again.  Another suplex!!  Brass pulls him up and whips him across the ring.  On the rebound, Low Brass awaits K-Os… Brass flips him in the air for a demonic Gutwrench Suplex!!!  However, Brass doesn’t go for the extremely obvious pin attempt.  He relays his efforts for another endeavor.  Brass climbs the turnbuckle nearest to K-Os.  He stands atop it like a leviathan.  The crowd is behind anything that Brass does, and this counts.  Low Brass soars in the air like a hawk!  WHAM!  Low Brass’ body crashes into the mat, causing him excruciating pain, but not nearly as much as K-Os is in after Brass’ elbow hits his chest!  Low Brass shuffles on the mat for an instant or two, but manages to swing his arm over K-Os’ shoulders.

 

Axis: THIS COULD BE IT!

 

Edwin: YES IT COULD!

 

ONE!

 

Sacred: K-Os can kick out!  If he wants to be as evil as me, he’ll kick out.

 

TWO!

 

Sacred: Eeeeeeeeevil.  Eeeeeeeevil.

 

THR… NO!  K-OS MANAGES THE BREAKING OF THE PIN AS HE GETS HIS SHOULDER UP!  The SJL Champion does not fall and continues to reach for the goal of WF stardom!  Low Brass is pissed, having miscalculated K-Os’ wrestling aptitude.  The X Force 9 leader will just have to reach into his cartoonish bag of tricks and pull out some more valor and vigor, along with some winning maneuvers.

 

Sacred: YEAH!  EVIL REIGNS SUPREME AGAIN!

 

Axis: Son of a-

 

Edwin: Censor yourself, Axis.  When times such as these arise, just say to yourself WWGPCD.

 

Axis: WWGPCD?

 

Edwin: “What Would the Great Panda of China Do?”

 

Axis: Son of a-

 

Edwin: ah ah ah…  WWGPCD.

 

Axis: fphromboap

 

Edwin: Much better.

 

Sacred: WWGPCD… that’s stupid.  You’re stupid.

 

Edwin: Why?

 

Sacred: Because I said so.

 

Edwin: I’m not the one who’s named Sacred.

 

Sacred: … wait… that was an insult!  HOW DARE YOU!  AUGH!

 

K-Os trampled body rests in the ring while Low Brass rolls under the ropes and sits on the edge of the apron, recuperating.  Brass sits rather conservatively, his legs hanging over the edge, leaning over with his hands folded together, staring blankly at the crowd cheering him.  Brass’ mind races at 100 miles per hour, visions of past victories speed by.  He’s searching for something that he cannot pinpoint, something that he had in the past.  Low Brass continues to relax outside the ropes as the vindictive K-Os struggles to get to his feet.  The referee monitors the movement inside the ring while Low Brass sits quietly.  Suddenly, a person hops over the crowd barrier near Low Brass.  Brass instantaneously wakes up as security rushes to the man.  However, the law enforcers back off while Low Brass smiles.  A surge of delight overcomes Brass as he is bewildered by the sight before him.

 

Axis: It’s Munich!

 

Edwin: What is Munich doing here?!

 

Sacred: Damn WFers can’t stay away from the JL that’s what.

 

Edwin: You’re here.

 

Sacred: … SHUT UP!

 

Axis: Heh.

 

Munich walks to Brass and puts a hand on his shoulder.  The former XF9 leader and JL champion ensues to bestow some advice to Low Brass.  Brass listens intently to the words of wisdom.  Meanwhile, K-Os is in the ring, nearly at his feet.  Low Brass begins to snicker, but is serious once again as Munich delivers his final words for now.  Brass nods his head, shakes Munich’s hand, and climbs back into the ring.  POW!  LOW BRASS’ BODY FLIES PAST MUNICH, CRASHING INTO THE CROWD BARRIER!

 

Axis: GORE FROM K-OS!

 

Edwin: That was hilarious.  Ha ha ha.

 

Sacred: K-Os is beginning to learn some evil ways.  Hey, that’s a neat song.  “Evil Ways,” by Santana.

 

Edwin: What?

 

Sacred: dunnn dunn, dun dun dun.  You’ve got to change your evil ways, baby.  Before I start lovin’ you.  You’ve got to change, baby.  And every word I say is true…

 

Axis: Please stop.  And never say “lovin’ you” ever again.

 

Sacred: You’re just jealous of my PHAT evil ways.

 

Axis: You stupid f-

 

Edwin: Axis!  WWGPCD.

 

Axis: +grumble+

 

Low Brass shakes his head, stands up, and rushes into the ring.  K-Os is right there with an invasion of stomps.  Low Brass overcomes the stomps, though, and gets up to his feet.  But the stomps are all the he overcomes this time, for K-Os hooks his arms around Low Brass’ waist and throws him overhead for a Belly-to-Belly Suplex!!!  Brass crashes down and copes with the pain while K-Os pulls him up.  K-Os then dishes out some more punishment and pummels Low Brass against the ropes.  The mysterious champion grabs Brass’ left arm and tosses him across the ring like football.  Brass bounces off the opposite ropes and runs back at K-Os.  “OOF!”  Low Brass doubles over and releases all the air inside him after a massive kick to the gut.  K-Os quickly shoves Brass’ head between his legs and then lifts him onto his shoulders.

 

Axis: HE’S GOING FOR THE HELL HELIX!!!  K-OS COULD WIN IT ALL RIGHT HERE!!!

 

K-Os begins to spin around, but just as he  reaches 105-degrees, Munich hops onto the apron, distracting the referee, and K-Os.  K-Os begins to stumble back a few steps, allowing Brass to make the move and pummel his fists into K-Os’ massive skull.  K-Os has no choice but to drop Low Brass in a fit of aggravation.  Munich steps down, his intent  of savior-status complete.  Low Brass steps back and rushes K-Os, but the Clan member ducks under a clothesline, spins around, and takes hold of Low Brass.  K-Os rears back… GERMAN SUPLEX!!!  Low Brass topples over, but does get back to his feet after a few seconds.  K-Os rushes Brass, who quickly nails an Arm Dragon Screw!  K-Os gets back up to his feet, very annoyed, and kicks Brass in the gut, doubling him over again!  K-Os hooks both of Brass’ arms to finish the match with a DOUBLE ARM DDT!!  K-Os goes for the pin!!  The referee gets in position!!!

 

ONE!!

 

 

TWO!!!

 

Sacred: … your evil ways, baaaaaby.

 

Axis: Gah Damnit.

 

THRE… NO!!!  LOW BRASS DOESN’T LOSE!  MUNICH THROWS BRASS’ FOOT ONTO THE ROPE, SAVING THE LEADER OF X FORCE 9!!!   The referee calls the ropes and pisses K-Os off to a degree rarely seen.  The grimacing look on K-Os face frightens the official, who quickly steps away, evading his punishment.  K-Os, however, decides to focus his anger into one effort of destroying Low Brass.  As Brass gets up, K-Os whips him across the ring.  K-Os then lifts Brass into the air, spinning 180-degrees, and nailing a voracious spinebuster!  The champion pulls Brass up, allowing no time for recuperation.  He hoists Brass up for a suplex, but DROPS DOWN VERTICALLY FOR A BRAINBUSTER!!!  K-Os inhumanly picks Brass up again and performs a distressing Inverted Piledriver!!  K-Os then drags Brass towards a corner.  K-Os quickly climbs the turnbuckle, facing away from Brass.  With thousands of wrestling fans chanting “ASSHOLE!  ASSHOLE!  ASSHOLE!” K-Os leaps back, flipping in the air!!

 

Axis: MOONSAULT ON BRASS!  K-OS IS DESTROYING HIM!!!!

 

K-Os gets up to his feet remarkably swift and drags the battered and bruised body of Low Brass.  With Low Brass now in the middle of the ring, an equal distance from all four roped walls of the ring, K-Os flips him onto his back.  He lies on top of Low Brass’ body and grabs his legs with one arm and Brass’ bald, shiny head with the other.  K-Os rolls onto his back and shoves his knees underneath Brass’ back while pulling on his arms!!!

 

Sacred: That’s a cool move.  What is it?

 

Edwin: THE ETERNAL CROSS!!!!  K-OS TRADEMARK SUBMISSION MOVE!!!

 

Axis: IT’S LOCKED IN!!!  K-OS HAS IT LOCKED IN!!!  BRASS HAS TO GIVE UP NOW!!!

 

Sacred: Of course he does.  K-Os’ level of evil is rising for every passing moment.  He makes me proud.

 

Axis: Shut up Sacred, Low Brass is in dire trouble!!

 

Low Brass screams out, relieving the pain little by little.  But with each scream, K-Os pulls even harder.  The pain is intense.  In a conglomeration of all the hate and anger inside him, K-Os is ripping Low Brass apart with the Eternal Cross.  The fervor in K-Os eyes can be seen.  The blood is flowing to Low Brass’ head, causing him to fade in and out of consciousness.  One of K-Os’ eyes begins to twitch as he smiles spitefully.  The crowd’s chants transition back and forth between “YOU SUCK!” and “LOW BRASS!”  They can’t decide whether to cheer Low Brass so that he breaks out of the move, or to jeer K-Os so that he loses concentration and releases Brass.  However, going back and forth between chants does nothing.  If they stick with one, they might do something, but for now, they are useless.  K-Os applies himself and all of his energy into this move, pulling even harder than before!!  Low Brass wriggles back and forth, but K-Os is heavier, also giving him the advantage of balance.  Munich stands at ringside, slamming his fists on the mat, pulling for Low Brass with all his might.  Low Brass continues to strive to break free, but cannot accomplish anything.  After a minute in the devastating submission move, the referee checks for signs of vitality in Low Brass while begging K-Os to drop the move.  K-Os refuses, so the referee checks Low Brass, who continually fades in and out of his right mind.  Suddenly, Munich jumps into the ring and rushes at K-Os, but the referee is quick on his feet and shoves Munich back.  K-Os  pulls back even harder, noticing Low Brass becoming less and less active.  K-Os looks around for the referee to call the win, but something catches his eye.  Munich is arguing with the referee, but he takes one moment to glare at K-Os and smile.  A violent force builds inside of K-Os as the vanes in his forehead begin to protrude.  He drops Low Brass and stands at his feet.  The champion snaps and drags Low Brass to the corner.  POW!  POW!!  POW!!!  K-Os stomps the shit out of Low Brass.  Finally, the Clan member has an epiphany.  He ceases the punishing of Low Brass and slides out of the ring.  With a scowling look on his face, K-Os marches towards the announcers as Munich steps out of the ring, away from the referee.  

 

Axis: What’s going on?  That’s twice now that Munich has saved Low Brass.

 

Edwin: K-Os is pissed.  I’m scared.  Oh WWGPCD?!

 

Sacred: What?

 

Axis: K-Os is coming over here, Munich is already over here.  What’s going to happen?

 

Sacred: You ask me like I have the answers.

 

Axis: Well, since you are so evil, I figured you could see the future too.

 

Sacred: How does that fit in to evilness?

 

Axis: It just does.

 

K-Os snatches the chair away from Funyon and rushes Munich.  THWACK!  Munich lands a massive kick into K-Os gut.  The chair falls.  Munich then grabs K-Os….

 

Axis: NO!  C-4 CRUNCH!!!  C-4 CRUNCH!!!  MUNICH HIT THE C-4 CRUNCH ON K-OS!!!  DAMN HIM!!!  Will we ever know if anybody can beat K-Os fairly?  And will this interfering trend ever come to an end?

 

Sacred: No.

 

Axis: Bah.

 

Edwin: NOW I KNOW WHY MUNICH IS INTERFERING SO MUCH!!!

 

Axis & Sacred: WHY?!?!

 

Munich drops K-Os with the C-4 Crunch and rolls his cadaver into the ring.

 

Edwin: It’s because of The Clan!!

 

Axis & Sacred: What?

 

Low Brass begins to get to his feet, noticing K-Os.

 

Edwin: The Clan just returned.  XF9 feuded with the Clan a while back in the JL when Munich was still in.

 

Axis: That’s all?

 

Sacred: That, and Thoth completely destroyed Low Brass on Metal.

 

Axis: Oh, well I guess that could do it then.

 

Low Brass mindlessly staggers over to K-Os.  With an unrivaled vigor, Low Brass pulls K-Os to his feet and locks in a Full Nelson Hold.  Low Brass heaves K-Os into the air while jumping.  Thousands of cameras start to flicker and flash, taking pictures of this unprecedented moment.  Brass flies down, landing sitting down, slamming K-Os on his back.  BRASS MONKEY!!  BRASS MONKEY!!!

 

Edwin: HE NAILED THE BRASS MONKEY!

 

Low Brass goes for a pin as the crowd’s cheers can be heard around their continent!

 

ONE!!

 

Sacred: NO!  THE EVIL!!

 

TWO!

 

Axis: YES!

 

Sacred: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!

 

THREE!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“BRASS MONKEY!!!” The song kicks up as the crowd jumps up and down like a crowd

 

Funyon: Ladies and gentlemen, HERE IS YOUR WINNER, advancing to the second round of the tournament… LLLOOOOOOOWWWWW BRRRAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

 

Sacred: K-Os sucks.  He’s not evil enough.

 

Axis: Low Brass has beaten the champion!!!  HE BEAT K-OS!!!

 

Edwin: OH Great Panda of China, you have made these events possible, I love you!  Now… drinks are on me!!

 

Axis: YAY!

 

Sacred: WOO!

 

Edwin: As long as you are a Panda, or a beautiful woman who wants to sleep with me.

 

Axis: Damnit.

 

Sacred: Panda… no I’m not.  Beautiful woman… well, hmm… wait, no.  DAMNIT!

[Guest crusen86]

Summary:

 

I THOUGHT WE KICKED HIM OUT?

Wicked Style vs. ...Johnny Generic?

WINNER: Johnny Generic! w00t!

 

THE BIG MAN IS BACK!

The Dark Reaper vs. Kojack

WINNER: The Dark Reaper... In Kojack's match? Silly.

 

TV TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP

Ced Ordonez vs. Mike Van Siclen

GUEST REFEREE: Shawn Brody!

WINNER: Mike Van Siclen

 

THEY'RE GONNA WRITE THIS TIME, I SWEAR!  TRIPLE THREAT

Thomas "Tom Cat" Menias vs. NBK Josh Tupper vs. Mafia

WINNER: Mafia

 

THE SMARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE IGNWF CONTRACT TOURNAMENT

 

KETCHUM'S CHOICE EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH

Erek Taylor vs. Ash Ketchum

WINNER: Erek Taylor (Somebody better beat him soon... I BETTER NOT LOSE MY RECORD, AIGHT!?)

 

Xero vs. Flexxx

WINNER: Flexxx

 

Annie Eclectic vs. Renegade

WINNER: Lady Red. Erm, Annie.

 

MAIN EVENT

K-Os vs. Low Brass

WINNER: Low Brass

[Guest crusen86]

And now, a special presentation... Don't you love deleted scenes and alternate endings?

 

[The final commercial fades away leading to the dark, black, scary, spooky, dark, blank, darkness of dead air.  SJL fans twiddle their fingers, waiting for their biweekly dose of zaniness.  Much to their happiness, the silence of the screen is blasted by lights, colors, sounds, cheers, and music.  Panning the Rod Laver Arena, the cameramen catch a view of the electric crowd contained within the dome shaped arena place.  Turning his one glass eye (that’s the camera FYI) towards the announcing table, the cameraman focuses on a trio of men.  One crazy, one normal, one evil, all ready to announce the next match.]

 

Axis: “Welcome back to SJL Crimson!  This has been a very............ what’s the word I’m looking for?”

Sacred: “EVIL!”

Edwin: “Kooky?”

Sacred: “EVIL!”

Axis: “No, its like good but more so, almost like excellent.”

Sacred: “EEEEEEVIL!”

Edwin: “Awesome?”

Axis: “Ah yes............. this has been an awesome night of wrestling!”

Sacred: [Mutters to himself, in a grumbling evil voice]

Edwin: “But not only have Axis and myself soaked in this smorgasbord of wrestling, fellow WFer Sacred has tagged along for the ride!  Seeing as he’s, you know, Australian and all.”

Sacred: [Whispers to himself]  “These fools have no clue what evilness I am about to unleash.  Muahaha....... this league will bow down to me soon........”

Axis: “We can hear your whispering you know.  That is a mike by your mouth.”

Sacred: “Insolent fool!  You are trying to stop my evil plans, which I concocted in this evil mind of mine!”

Axis: “Whatever.  You do your “evil stuff” and we’ll be over here commentating.”

Edwin: “Maybe the dingo ate your baby!  HAHAHA!!”

Axis: “................. fine, I’ll be over here commentating.”

Sacred: “If I had a plastic bowl, you wouldn’t be so cocky now would you Axis?”

 

[Axis shakes his head wondering how he ever got dragged into this situation.  A referee comes down to the ring, as Funyon prepares to announce the competitors.]

 

Axis: “As I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted, this next match, our main event for tonight will be the fourth and final match in the opening round of this tournament.”

Edwin: “Excuse me Axis, that’s the “Superfantabulous SWF Contract Tournament of Snazziness”.”

 

[Needing something to take his mind off the others, Axis takes a drink from his Pepsi Max, then spits it out all over.]

 

Axis: “AGH!  This tastes awful!  It’s......... horrid!”

Sacred: “A teehee........ no wait!  Muahahahahaha.............”

Edwin: “Axis!  What did he do to you?!”

Axis: [Points at Sacred]  “You bastard...... how........ how could you do this?”

Sacred: [Whips out a journal]  “I’m keeping tabs on my evil escapades.  Would you say you were disgusted, or more horrified?  Also, do you now think I’m evil, or really evil?”

Edwin: [Takes a sip of the Pepsi Max]  “OH........ MY....... GOD........... you switched this with COCA-COLA?!  You sick fiend..........”

 

[E.M.Ts come rushing out to check on Axis, but he assures them he’ll be alright.  Leaving a brand new Pepsi Max on the desk, they return to the back.]

 

Sacred: “Step one......... check.”

 

[in the ring, Funyon begins to stare at Edwin and Axis and tap on his watch.]

 

Edwin: “Do you think you can make it brotha?”

Axis: “The show...... must go on........ and Funyon’s getting mad.  

Edwin: “He get’s all pinchy when he’s mad.  Here’s the quick story..............  K-Os, Brass, fight, winner gets to winner side, better chance to win tourney.”

Axis: “Wow........ that was short.”

Sacred: “Muahahahaha............”

Axis: “What now?!”

Sacred: “You’ll see.......... muahahahaha.......”

 

[Finally getting the signal, Funyon begins to speak into the microphone.]

 

Funyon: “The following match is part of the WF Contract TOURNAMENT!!”

 

[before Funyon goes any further, Sacred bolts out of his seat and whips out a remote control with a big button.]

 

Axis: “Geezus......... what now?”

Sacred: “My plan has come to fruition!  The time to act is now!”

Edwin: “This guys stealing my spotlight...... that’s what I’m supposed to do to Axis....... the evil bastard.”

Sacred: “Nobody respects my evilness as they should.  But you will now!  You will have no other choice, cause ya see that’s how an evil plan works out.  I planned this so you guys would be screwed, thus making things bad for you and as of a result, you would all think I’m evil which was my plan al.........”

Axis: “Can you get on with it?”

Sacred: “Oh......... yes.............”

 

[Pushing the button on the remote control, Sacred looks around with a devious smile............

 

 

 

as nothing happens.]

 

Sacred: “No wait........... something’s not right.”

Axis: [sighs]

Sacred:  “Shut up fool!  This is all....... [fiddle with remote]..........part of.......[smashes remote]....... THE PLAN!!  Oh fiddlesticks........”

Axis: “Anyways, Low Brass is now out in the ring, and here comes K-Os........”

Sacred: “Where’s the explosions?  And the hurting?  And the destruction?!”

Edwin: “Did you leave them at the hotel?  When I lose things, I’ve usually left them ther........”

Sacred: “I must steal away into the darkness......... the plan GOES ON.........”

 

[Ripping off the headset, Sacred runs around the ring, paying no attention to the two wrestlers and referee in it staring at him.  Running as fast as he can, Sacred exits to the back.]

 

Edwin: “I like that guy.  He amuses me.”

Axis: “Look at this!  The match has already started!”

 

[True enough, as the ringbell sounds, K-Os and Low Brass have already begun to duke it out.  Back and forth, they both hit hard fists as the crowd roars in the background.]

 

Edwin: “Distractions aside, this is gonna be one hell of a matc *BBZZZZHHHHT*  en have fought each other numerous tim *BBBBZZZZZTTTTTTT*”

 

[On television screens across the world, the picture begins to crackle, and Edwin’s voice fades in and out.  Screaming at their sets, and calling their cable companies, SJL fans watch in sadness as the picture breaks into crackling static.  After five minutes of fiddling with the television, the cables, and any other possibilities, the millions of fans hang their heads in sadness as they flip to other channels, seeing if there’s anything that could make up for their great loss.  During commercial breaks from Rocky 12 - Adrian’s Revenge, and other programs, they flip back in the fading hope of any change but alas............. the static on the screen offers no solace.  Until 24 minutes later..................]

 

*BBBZZZZZZHHHHHTTTTT*

 

............................

 

 

*BBBZZZTTTBBHHHHZZZTTTT*

 

Edwin: “WHAT A BRASS MONKEY!!”

 

*BBBZHZZZHZBZZZZ*

 

...............................

 

Axis: “THE CLAN!  THE CLAN!”

 

..............................

 

 

CRACK!

 

 

Edwin: “WHAT A CHAIR SHOT!!”

 

[As snippets of sound pierce the static, a glimmer of hope appears............

 

 

 

and the picture kicks back in!  On the TV screen, Low Brass is laid out as K-Os hooks the leg and the referee begins to crawl into the ring!  Seeing the pin, the ref’s hand hits the mat!]

 

 

ONE!....................

 

 

 

 

TWO!.....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!

 

 

DING DING DING!!

 

[The crowd unleashes a torrent of heel heat as the bell rings, and “Down” hits the speakers.]

 

Funyon: “The winner of this match at 26:29 by pinfall.................. KKKKAAAAAAAAA-OOOOSSSS!!!”

 

[The referee raises the hand of K-Os, who then snatches it away and slides to the outside, grabbing his belt.  Heading to the back, K-Os looks in the ring and a bloodied and unconscious Low Brass.]

 

Axis: “THE CLAN HELPED K-OS STEAL THIS MATCH!!!”

 

[The camera reverts back to the announcing table where Axis, Edwin, and Sacred are sitting.  With a smirk across his face, Sacred giggles gleefully to himself.]

 

Edwin: “What a match and what a night!”

Axis: “Wait........ I’m just getting word that our feed is back, folks you have just missed this insane match!”

Edwin: “The JL league is very sorry, the wiring in the back was mysteriously cut............”

 

[both Axis and Edwin look at Sacred, who feigns innocence, raising his hands in the air.]

 

Axis: “Oh come off it, our tech people watched YOU cut them!”

Sacred: “I swear, it was another handsome, evil guy!”

Edwin: “Well, that’s good enough for me.”

Axis: “You were muttering how evil you were while you did it, Dan our head tech guy tried to stop you!”

Sacred: “Curses, you have figured me out!  But you cannot deny how evil I am!  I have caused the world to miss out on this Crimson Main Event!”

Axis: “But........ we still have the tape and this is replayed in two hours......”

Edwin: “And I am sure we can edit this one back in, we’ve done it before.”

Sacred: “...........................”

 

[Ripping off his headset, Sacred hops over the barricade and runs through the crowd to the exit.]

 

Axis: “Just when I think we’ve hit rock bottom, someone throws me a shovel.”

Edwin: “Well folks, K-Os has moved on in this tournament, if you wish to see how, just watch the show again in two hours!  The whole thing please.  It’ll be good for ratings.”

 

[The camera fades away as Edwin flashes a thumbs up.]