Bobby Heenan quotes

[Guest JHawk]

I'm looking for your favorite Bobby Heenan quotes here.  I'l start us off.

 

During a squash on Wrestling Challenge:

"The problem with wrestling Ricky Ataki is an hour later you want to wrestle him again."

 

To Bob Eucker at WrestleMania IV:

"I understand you had 7,000 votes for the Hall of Fame.  You would have had more but you ran out of stamps."

 

During a Ric Flair match (can't remember which one):

"There you go, Ric!  Roll out the ring, make him come after you, and pick up a chair!"

 

Feel free to chime in.

[Guest Shaved Bear]

after Doink threw a bucket of popcorn on the Brain

 

"ooooo, I'm freezing!"

(last week he got water thrown on him)

[Guest TJM004]

-At WM VIII (to Gorilla Monsoon) "If you want to be fair to Flair, you gotta admit, thats a heckuva robe, only a man as fair as Flair would show up at Wrestlemania..."

 

Gorilla- "WILL YOU STOP!!!"

 

-On the CV Global Warfare, during a match shot in Spain (after the cameraman had shown many crowd shots) " This is the worst cameraman I've ever seen! If I wanted to see the backs of the heads of the Ramon family and the Lopez family, I'd have bought a ticket"

 

And later in the match  

JR: "Well Bobby what id you think of that move?"

 

Brain: "I didn't see it, thanks to this cameraman, all I can see is the Lopez family eating rice, and beans!"

 

-(On an early 90's CV, during a Santana match)

"The translation of Ariba, is Swim faster, the border guards are coming!"

 

-Brain-"You know what Koko B. Wares mother's name is?"

Gorilla- "What?"

Brain- "Tupper"

 

There's a lot more funny ones as well.

There was a page with lots of Brain Qoutes, but I lost the adress, does anyone else know it?

[Guest Some Guy]

http://www.uslink.net/~petrie/brain01.html

 

This site has a shitload of Heenan quotes.

 

"Tito Santana is like a cue-ball: The more you strike him, the more

English you get out of him."

[Guest TJM004]

Thanks, that was the page I was looking for.

[Guest JHawk]

To add another one I thought of earlier today.  One time Gorilla and Brain were arguing over Rick Martel's heel turn.

 

Gorilla: "I supposed you agreed with Benedict Arnold too."

Heenan:  "He did what he had to do, I think."

 

 

(As "Real American" blares over the PA.)

Heenan: "That's my second favorite song."

Gorilla:  "I'm almost afraid to ask.  What's your favorite?"

Heenan:  "All the rest are tied."

[Guest Jericholic82]

The Brain rocks here are some of my fav Heenanisms:

 

WM 8 during Bret/Piper

Heenan: I remember when I was champion Monsson.

Gorilla:  Champion of what?

Heenan: Uh my neighborhood, I had the prettiest girl on the block that month."

 

Later the same match, when Piper grabs the ring bell and is reluctant to use it.

 

"Hit him, hit him. Give it to me, I'll hit him.  Use it ,use it, waffle him with it, remember that old saying what the hell, use the bell!!!"

 

Of course his classic line at WM7 after Savage and Liz reunited

"I'd rather have money than a skirt"

 

His begging God for Flair to win the Royal Rumble '92

"Please let him win it, I'll never do or say anything bad again, just please let him win it."

 

My fav WCW quote from Bash At The beach '96, they were talking about Eric Bischoff missing (this was when hall and nash had first come and this was the night Hogan turned heel)

 

Tony: We don't know where Eric is.

Heenan: I hope he doesn't ask us for cash

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

From Wrestlemania IX:

 

Savage:  The Michigan Wolverines are not only proud of their basketball team, getting ready for the NCAA finals, but they're proud of the Steiner Brothers also.

Heenan:  Who cares about high school sports?

Ross:  College sports.

Heenan:  Same thing.  There's only four years difference, and you don't get any money for it.  Just a bunch of little kids.

[Guest muzanisa]

I loved it when he was afraid of the Undertaker for an entire show. He didn't say a word just looked at him; I was cracking up.

[Guest JHawk]

"Now I understand what RIP stands for.  Ross Is a Pickpocket!  Give me back my wallet!"

[Guest DEEP THOUGHT]

One of my favourite Bobby Heenan quotes was when he was talking about Jack Tunney right before the 1992 Royal Rumble match.

 

Bobby: "He's been the best president since Noriega."

[Guest Shawn]

Any thing he said that made Vince (from back when he did commentary) say "Stop it, Bobby!"

[Guest RetroRob215]

I don't remember the exact quote, but I found it hillarious when Bobby called Reba MacIntire, Areba and then claimed she was Tito Santana's sister.  Of coure Gorrila was yelling "Stop that" the whole time.    The memories...

[Guest DEEP THOUGHT]

Just prior to a 1993 King of the Ring qualifying match on WWF Superstars between Bob Backlund and Lex Luger.

 

Jim Ross: Bob Backlund, a graduate of North Dakota State University...

Bobby Heenan: WOW!!!! North Dakota State?!?! What do you have to do there to graduate? Be able to milk a cow with you left hand?

 

Ross and Heenan were a great team when they were together back in 1993; Heenan would always be poking fun of JR's Oklahoman heritage.

[Guest Rose of Pain]

"Ladies and Gentlemen Shawn Michaels has left the Building"

[Guest nWoScorpion]

During the Owen/bret aftermatch incident:

(speaking as Helen Hart, who is worried in the audience):

"Oh no! They're gonna reposes my teeth!!

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Wrestlemania 8, during Rick Martel/Tatanka

 

Heenan was poking fun at Tatanka's heritage, then said something to Monsoon about being able to say hello in Indian.  Monsoon asked how, and Heenan responded with "Hey how are ya, hey how are ya" in "Indian chant" fashion.  I was cracking up for the rest of the night.

[Guest DEEP THOUGHT]

Yeah..I remember that exchange very well...

 

Heenan: Have you ever said "hello" to Tatanka?

Monsoon: Yes..

Heenan: Did you do it properly?

Monsoon: (Fully aware that another classic Heenan line was coming up) Yes..

Heenan: Did you say "Hey-how-are-ya-hey-how-are-ya?"

Monsoon: (Cracking up) He doesn't do that!!

[Guest bigsugar316]

Without a doubt my favourite exchange between two commentators had to be Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan on Superstars during Shawn Michaels infamous heel turn

in the Brutus Beefcake's "Barber Shop" segment:

 

- The Rockers had been teasing a split for weeks when the two appeared on the Barber Shop to settle their differences. Michaels outstretched his hand to shake Jannetty's, Jannetty in turn shook his hand back.

 

Heenan: That's good.... they need each other, one without the other just isn't the same....

- Michaels then delivers a superkick to Jannetty

Heenan: I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT, I JUST KNEW HE WAS GOING TO DO THAT! HE DON'T NEED JANNETTY!

 

Monsoon: Are you kidding? What a dispicable act that was!

 

- Michaels then picks up Jannetty and throws him throw the barber shop window.

 

Monsoon: Right through the glass window of the barber shop!

 

Heenan: Jannetty tried to dive through the window to escape!!!

 

Monsoon: Are you blind!?!

 

Heenan: What an act of cowardism!

[Guest JHawk]

Watched my tape of WrestleMania VII, and Heenan had some zingers.

 

During the Demolition-Tenryu/Kitao match:

Bobby:  "Hand Towel, is that his name?"

Gorilla:  "Kitao!"

Bobby:  "Oh."

Gorilla:  "You'd have trouble if his name was Fred."

Bobby:  "His name is Fred Kitao?"

 

 

During the Mountie-Tito Santana match:

Bobby: "I'm surprised Tito's here tonight."

Gorilla: "Why is that?"

Bobby: "L.A.'s only about 150 miles from the border."

 

 

During the Savage-Elizabeth reunion:

"This is like Love Story.  If you like this kind of mush."