Guest MrRant Report post Posted November 9, 2002 Gun-Toting Grandad Gets His Terrorist Squirrel Fri Nov 8,10:01 AM ET LONDON (Reuters) - A squirrel which terrorized a British town by attacking people has been shot and killed by the grandfather of its latest victim. Geoff Horth, enraged by the squirrel biting his two-year-old grand-daughter Kelsi Morley on the face, took up his airgun and hunted down the rogue rodent, the Sun newspaper said on Friday. "When I tracked him down I was surprised how big he was. He came down a tree and headed for me, but I shot him before he jumped," the 61-year-old school caretaker told the newspaper. The bad-tempered squirrel's reign of terror in the town of Knutsford in central England had made parents frightened to let their children out to play. Animal experts say it is very unusual for squirrels to behave in such an aggressive way toward humans. Horth was philosophical about his role as gun-totting local hero. "Its a shame he went nuts, but I couldn't let this little beggar hold the town to ransom," he told the newspaper. Yeah... got to watch them squirrels because after all they are plotting against us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kkktookmybabyaway Report post Posted November 9, 2002 I wonder if it was a homicide bomber squirrel?... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted November 9, 2002 That it and he was sent to bomb a bus load of school children. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest kkktookmybabyaway Report post Posted November 9, 2002 And thus Allah would reward him with 40 virgin squirrels or something... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted November 9, 2002 Don't forget a can of Planters Nuts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted November 9, 2002 I bet it was rabid. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Vern Gagne Report post Posted November 9, 2002 *Liberal Mode On* What did we do to upset the Squirrel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest treble charged Report post Posted November 9, 2002 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest evenflowDDT Report post Posted November 9, 2002 *Liberal Mode On* What did we do to upset the Squirrel. *Conservative Mode On* Because of this terrible reign of terrorism, we should not only eradicate all squirrels within our barriers, but we should also destroy all chipmunks. These heathen beasts and their radical anti-lab rat, anti-American views have gone on far enough. We must put all our efforts and resources into this War on Rodents! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted November 9, 2002 This Axis of Acorns cannot stay upon this earth. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BaldFish Report post Posted November 9, 2002 *Green Party mode on* Dude... that squirrel was totally... it was like... ...totally... ...what? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BaldFish Report post Posted November 9, 2002 *Libertarian mode on* Who gives a fuck? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mad Dog Report post Posted November 9, 2002 ::pulls out rifle:: ::unloads round on squirrel:: Problem solved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest BaldFish Report post Posted November 9, 2002 Hey, was this the same squirrel the doctors pulled out of HHH's rectum? Because I'd be pretty pissed if I had to live in a steroid soup for a few days. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kagato Otaku Report post Posted November 9, 2002 I'm sickened and appalled by the content of this thread. Trash of the most puerile variety. And still you people ask, why? Why do the squirrels hate us? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted November 10, 2002 Because they want our nuts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Kagato Otaku Report post Posted November 10, 2002 Because they want our nuts. If you give them our nuts the squirrels have already won. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest treble charged Report post Posted November 10, 2002 I think we've come to the point where the only solution would be species profiling. Mice have never done anything that would lead us to suspect that they would be terrorists, so it would be unfair to subject them to extra questioning and/or searching at airports. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MrRant Report post Posted November 10, 2002 I think we should be looking out for squirrels and chipmunks personally... especially the chipmunks wearing oversize shirts and responding to the names: Alvin, Simon, and Theodore and any human accomplice they may have going by the obviously terroristic name of "Dave". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Samurai_Goat Report post Posted November 11, 2002 *Horth was philosophical about his role as gun-totting local hero. "Its a shame he went nuts, but I couldn't let this little beggar hold the town to ransom," he told the newspaper.* Ha! He went nuts! You get it! Woo! Now that's comedy! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest big Dante Cruz Report post Posted November 11, 2002 Squirrels are evil devilspawn. Kill all the useless little vermin. Bleeding heart liberal: Squirrels have a great function in nature, don't kill innocent animals! What good are they? They... uh... carry dise... no. They... eat food out of the birdfee... hmmm... I got it! They attack small children! There ya go! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted November 11, 2002 Squirrel? Ha! Call Sid, he'll fix the problem. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
