I'm back full time

[Guest Kinetic]

Well, my erotic journey from Abilene to Fuquay Varina has finally come to an end. I've gained a knowledge of regional cigarettes and a small crate's worth of hotel soap but little else. I'd like to begin my new life as a North Carolinian with my first ever totally superfluous poll. It's no "Snow: What Is It Good For?" but it's the best I could come up with without any thought or effort or anything.

 

Rock the vote.

[Guest MrRant]

I rocked it.

[Guest Flyboy]

I rocked it.

 

Harder than Rant did, though.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

If Informer, likka boom boom down, was a choice, I would've voted for that, alas it wasn't, so La Parka it is.

[Guest Kinetic]

Neither of you rocked it hard enough, evidently. "I wish you dead" is running neck-and-neck with "La Parka."

[Guest SP-1]

I voted for La Parka.

 

Why? Well, I'm glad you asked.

 

You see, Kinetic, I greatly enjoy reading your well-worded, and funny posts, but I could not desperately miss you because I did not miss you at all. No, I say this with no malice of intention of flaming, but merely because you managed to get a post in just as I would notice your absence. It is, however, fantabulous to have you back, and I look forward to seeing your writing skills and wonderful wit back in action.

 

I would have voted to Ban Agnes, but La Parka is so much cooler than everything else that I could not, in good sanity, vote for anything else.

 

SP

[Guest Incandenza]

"I hate you with a sort of desperate passion"

 

I'm full of rage, but I can't be bothered to commit.

[Guest DJ Jeff]

I didn't miss you that much, mainly because I didn't even know you were gone.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Screw you being back on the boards, the question is this: Have you been keeping track of Tough Enough III? If not, I HEARTILY suggest reading all of the recaps on the site, as someone very talented and funny wrote them all.

 

Guess I'd better get back to subbing for this guy on this week's recap.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

 

(Oh yeah, I voted "Somewhat desperately.")

[Guest crandamaniac]

As a native North Carolinian, I must say Welcome to North Carolina.

 

 

*realizes he's in the NHB*

*flames Kinetic*

[Guest alfdogg]

You were gone?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Ban Agnes!

[Guest alfdogg]

Indeed

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Kinetic is back! My faith has been restored whence it had previously been shattered by the revelation that Dogma was right and Jesus WASN'T an only child!

 

Kinetic = Last scion? He may not be Linda Fiorentino, but he has restored faith and I'm sure he's saved the world AT LEAST once!

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

Who's this Kinetic fellow?

[Guest goodhelmet]

but the real question is when are you going to write another column previously known as riot act?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Screw that let's concentrate on Banning Agnes.

[Guest Jubuki]

Good question - who the fuck are you, again?

[Guest EL BRUJ0]

Obviously, he's someone who enjoys stupid wrestling.

[Guest Jubuki]

No no no, you've got my 133+ H4+0R gimmick all wrong - I would say, "He's some idiot who likes wrestling." It's not the wrestling that's stupid, it's the person beholding it. Hope that clears things up for you.

[Guest EL BRUJ0]

Actually, I was referring to wrestling as being ghey.

[Guest Sassquatch]

*desperately tries to remember who the goof above with the ghey avatar is*

 

You use to post here or did you ask Dames to jack up your post count?

 

 

Welcome back Kinetic.

[Guest Kinetic]

Good question - who the fuck are you, again?

I'm Kinetic, the most feared gun-slinger on the frontier. I left recently to assist in a particularly large cattle-wrangling down Texas way, but got mired in a love triangle with a deputy in Bovine and his mistress, the enchanting Ms. Scarlet. To make a long story short, there was a dispute over who held ownership over the damsel in question and I was forced into a duel. I'm not welcome there anymore. I traveled the boxcars until my bones grew weary and found themselves a woman to give me shelter here in North Carolina. Buncha goddamn yuppies up here, but I'm coping. So, yeah...I'm Kinetic and I'm not to be fucked with.

[Guest Some Guy]

Why didn't you at least move to civilization? Texas to North Carolina isn't exactly a step up.

[Guest Kinetic]

From what I can tell so far, North Carolina has really fucked up roads--meaning it's impossible to get around quickly--but extraordinarily attractive females. I live within short driving distance of three major colleges, actually, so that probably explains the hot girl factor. I'm optimistic about the future.

[Guest Flyboy]

From what I can tell so far, North Carolina has really fucked up roads--meaning it's impossible to get around quickly--but extraordinarily attractive females.

Did you ever visit Dallas or Houston while in Texas?

 

I think not.

[Guest Kinetic]

I did visit Dallas. There was still a large contingent of stereotypical Texas blondes there; a group that holds no erotic lure to me. There was a hot girl at Virgin Megastore, however, but girls like her could exist anywhere. I'm sure that culture exists in Dallas but, unfortunately, I didn't live there.

[Guest Big McLargeHuge]

I'm Kinetic, the most feared gun-slinger on the frontier. I left recently to assist in a particularly large cattle-wrangling down Texas way, but got mired in a love triangle with a deputy in Bovine and his mistress, the enchanting Ms. Scarlet. To make a long story short, there was a dispute over who held ownership over the damsel in question and I was forced into a duel. I'm not welcome there anymore. I traveled the boxcars until my bones grew weary and found themselves a woman to give me shelter here in North Carolina. Buncha goddamn yuppies up here, but I'm coping. So, yeah...I'm Kinetic and I'm not to be fucked with.

Hmm. No mention of bukkake anywhere. How do we know this is the REAL Kinetic?

[Guest Flyboy]

Shake his hand to be sure.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

The first date I ever went on was with a girl from North Carolina. Unfortunately since she's been ignoring me and rejecting all my ideas for a second date. So... even though you currently reside there, until further notice, North Carolina sucks.

 

Wait a minute, it can't suck... MATT F'N HARDY is from North Carolina! Oh, and some old guy who hangs around with Triple H is too I think.