Osservazioni Di Wrath

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

I was suppose to cost Dace the match, but he won anyway....

 

 

Odd....

 

 

 

more later, or tuesday.

[Guest realitycheck]

What? No comments? Bastard JLers... you punks better be thankful us WF markers care enough to say something, boy howdy... why, back in my day, shows got 40 replies and we had to go uphill, in 3 foot deep snow to write matches! BOTH WAYS! Why, I--

 

::Z is reminded he's active again::

 

::Z shuts up::

 

Erm. Anyway, I proudly present the "Z has a really fucked up sleepcycle, so he's awake" Wrath comments edition.

 

Ejiro Fasaki vs. Insane Luchadore

-Another strong match out of Ejiro that illustrated great use of the stipulation. The hardcore wrestling was blended nicely into the match, with only two weapons really coming into play, but both for crucial psych points. Speaking of the psych, I liked the arm work you did in the match, and wish you had played it up more. That inculdes using it as part of the finish, and I also would've liked if you played up on that "IL can't use his arms, so he uses the working part of his body (legs) as offense." bit you touched on. And just to note, I liked the spots where IL faked his way out of the Cobra Clutch, and the tease for the knee strike. Danny Williams is right, we don't tease finishers/previous match endings enough. Finish was an excellent way to build a new (I think) finisher, and the ending is yet another shot in the brewing war with Wildchild, but I think either of you should sell the sizzle with a board promo... especially considering the Crimson match.

 

On the tech side, Ejiro, you improve with every match. You're making an effort to improve your commentary, so that gets a (Y) out of me. The description was good, although... I found the prose itself to be kind of boring. As simple advice as it sounds, utilizing more exclamation marks and ellipses ("...") to build drama can add worlds to a match.

 

Dace Night/Janus vs. JtR/James Morin

-Dace, the action in this were your usual all-out fun spot-chain, although the moves and their descriptions didn't seem to flow as seamlessly as your last few matches. I really like the fact you're using commentary to call passages of action, as small of a thing as it might seem. It just adds something to the match, and breaks up the monotony of action paragraphs. Also, I feel the Spike Jenkins interferance could've been made a little more grand. It was kind of hard to notice as it was. There were several grammatical tiffs here and there, which detracted from several sequences, I should point out. Regardless, you're coming along quite well, even if I think this match wasn't as good as some of your previous ones. Besides, this makes what? Six wins in a row now? Only 4 more to tie the record, man!

 

-Interesting... promo, Spike. Outside of the fact that you look sort of foolish at the beginning, I had a couple good chuckles at the... ah... "conversation" with Fugue. Though I almost think you were channelling the spirit of TNT...

 

-Ah ha! So the promos all come to a head. I was listening to "Black No. 1" while reading this, so the irony (And creepiness) is all off the scales and stuff. So now we've got two gothic women as a team, eh? Well, you shut up Mike, so 200 points off the bat.

 

Spike Jenkins vs. Fugue

-Well now. Spike goes to town on Fugue with a strong technical exhibition. I think this is a *good* match, Spike, for the style, but I can see the problems you had with it pretty clearly. I really liked the slow feeling out process at the beginning, and the build on the handshake you did. That was a great refrence to the sWo background both of the characters had. And just to infringe on Judge's quote game...

 

Spike dances back, pointing to himself, joking around with Fugue, as Fugue just looks at him with a blank look on his face. Spike continues dancing around and shooting his arms out as if boxing, as Fugue begins to walk out of the corner.

Ha! As a character bit, I really liked that.

 

However... the big problem you had was your inability to transition out of the feeling out the feeling out sequences, and kick it into high-gear. You kept going back to the collar and elbow tie-up, which was frustrating. Tom Flesher had a similar problem, actually, until Danny Williams pointed it out to him, and I'll give you the same advice: This is where a submission hold, even a sleeper, would really come in handy. Just to do the 'hand-drop' spot, and then work out of it into suplexes or power moves or something from the top rope. Most of the action felt like you just couldn't get it out of first gear, so to speak. Don't fret, though, even with this problem, it was still good. I loved the hold/counter sequences, especially the armbar spot near the top. Your description is clean and clear, and the commentary was funny--alebit felt forced in some parts. To finish, I think it's just a matter of getting a better control of the style, and if you read some Tom Flesher/Edwin MacPhisto/Danny Williams matches, you shouldn't have a problem. Good work. Oh, and the hug at the end of the match was gold.

 

-Scaffold? Ejiro, you're fucking nuts.

 

Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous vs. Judge Mental

-What can I say? Really? Both Johnny and Judge's matches good, but Wildchild's was brillaint. That's the best word for it, honestly. The stips were used effectively, and paced really well... although the battle royale and the cage sections felt a little lacking, I chalk that up to the word limit. Everyone had that same problem too, really, so it's noting I can hold against you. Next time... this stip goes on PPV.

 

Regardless, the action and description was crisp, the commentary was fairly witty and informative, and there's nothing bad I can say about this match without nitpicking. Wildchild cranks out a WF quality preformance, and he doesn't job himself at the end! (Y)! I think everyone should read this one, personally.

 

And with that, I'm gonna' close up the bag on my comments. What with there not being anymore matches and suchforth.

 

-Z

Great show, guys.

[Guest Dace59]

I was really unhappy with that match, it never felt right.

I had to many personal problems to fix it in time so I had to send in what I had.

It should just be a blip.

I owe Spike for the messed up run in.

[Guest Goodear]

Better late than never as I always say. I've had a busy couple of days trying to punch out other stuff, so I'm just getting to this. So ... don't feel bad, I still love each and every one of you. Except for you, Johnny D., you called an opening promo and then didn't write it. You make baby Jesus cry

 

Ejiro vs. Luchador

 

I think this was one of my stronger outings if I do say so myself. I still have some issues though since my writing (although technically profecient) doesn't exactly pop off the page like WildChild's or Johnny's. And Z is right when I should have added a little bit more emphasis around Luchador's arm after working it a bit. Although I did sort of retard IL's offense with it, I should have pointed that out with commentary more when I had IL throwing more dropkicks than punches. I also have a hard time buidling matches with IL's moveset though... but that might just be me. I also think my new 'Ejirocation' works a lot better as a secondary finisher than the 'Ejrocution' used to and I helped build towards the main event in my own little way. I give it a 4 on the 5-Point-Ejiro-Writing-Meter.

 

Elimination Tag Match

 

First off Dace, I think you can add a lot more to your introductions. I know I had the feelings at first where I just wanted to get everyone into the ring as fast as possible and get the matches started. But eventually, I settled down to where I found out intros are a great place to build up the matches with the commentators and set up the psychology you are planning to use later or help to establish the particulars of your character. King and Axis are great tools for that kind of stuff.

 

But without break, Jack falls back into his back and rolls through along the mat, in a flash, pulling Dace's wrists round and through, ending with Dace's wrists bent round backwards. Now Dace lunges forwards with a knee, but Jack lurches back, to coming rolling through again, while pushing his feet up, taking Dace over head and thudding back first to the mat.

 

You know, that's probably a pretty accurate portrayal of how Jack actually moves aroud the ring. I don't know, I've always written him as more of a smashmouth type of wrestler and sort of mentally add thirty pounds to his description. But your rendition is more accurate as I see it.

 

I have to disagree with Z about your use of the announcers to recap the action though. Although I totally see the point when you break into the more complex chain sequences, when you do it for more simple passages... it sort of feels like you're going over old ground. It might be better if you went into why Dace is doing something more than what he did.

 

And thats all I have time for... CRAP! Stupid job getting in the way again. I don't know if I'll get back to this before I take off for the weekend. Sorry to everyone I didn't get to