Fasaki Farts Around

[Guest Goodear]

Planted in the middle of a plush hotel room, Ejiro Fasaki leans back in his leather chair with his legs crossed and a Philadelphia Inquirer spread in front of his face. When from a side door steps out, your friend and mine, Ben Hardy with a microphone in hand. Seeing Fasaki in the peace and comfort, Hardy has to make a decision... but it doesn't take long...

 

"EJIRO!" calls out Ben at the top of his lungs as Fasaki's paper goes flying into the air at the moment of shock.

 

Wrinking his brow, Ejiro speaks, "What the hell are you doing in here? This is my hotel room you freaking moron. I could have have been in the shower or pleasing a lady friend!"

 

"Not according to my sources," quips Hardy uncharacteristically.

 

Ejiro hisses through his teeth, "What do you want?"

 

"Well I have a whole mess of questions for you coming off the last show."

 

"Soooo.... ask them. I have a busy day planned of watching tapes and getting into shape again after all the abuse I've taken lately."

 

"Meaning the scaffold match with WildChild?"

 

"That and my last successful Ejiropean Title defense against Dace. Can you belive he carved scars into himself telling me to die? Poor lost soul."

 

"So is Dace another wrestler you fell as though you need to teach to become more like you?"

 

"Well, of course. I mean, don't get me wrong, Dace put up a hell of a fight and all, but I still came out on top in the end. And until someone takes my title away from me... well, its pretty obvious that they still need some guidance."

 

"So how much guidance did he need when he made you tap out after the match was over?"

 

"You know something, Ben?" says Fasaki with a snear, "I've been in a whole lot of matches so far in SJL... and how many times have you seen me tap out? I'll tell you how many, one. One time and it was to Dace Night just last night. And to be honest I could say that I knew the match was over and that I was just trying to get him to let me go. But that wouldn't be true. The truth is I was so blinded by the pain that I immediately would have submitted had the match still been underway. But did Dace Night use that move during the match?"

 

"No."

 

"That's right. And that explains where Dace needs my support and my guidance. Because Dace being the hardcore, head dropping freak that he is... would rather show off all these fancy moves than put on a simple move like the crossface and win. Where I, on the other hand, used simple strategy and wore him down inch by inch. With the proper training, my training, I would have to say that Dave Night could be unbeatable.

 

"But he's not the only person you say that about."

 

"My results speak for themselves, Ben. I've been Ejiropean Champion for over a month... the longest title reign since the mighty Frost held that title. Can Dace Night make that claim, can WildChild? No... they cannot."

 

"Speaking of WildChild, he was not present at the last show... do you know where he was?"

 

"Why should I? Hopefully he was at home with his loved ones thinking about how he could become more like me... more like a winnner. Thankfully for him, I will always be right here waiting for him to come to me for advice when he finally breaks down and admits how much he really, really needs me."

 

"I guess like Fugue needs you to take out Johnny Dangerous?"

 

Seething just underneath the surface, and through gritted teeth Ejiro answers, "Look, Ben, Johnny Dangerous requested that match, not us! Fugue didn't need me to beat Matt Myers... I didn't need him to beat Dace Night. What makes you think either one of us couldn't take Johnny Dangerous apart if we wanted to?"

 

"Because neither one of you has ever pinned Johnny Dangerous."

 

"You better just move along," warns Ejiro as he rolls up the newspaper he was enjoying so very much.

 

"I guess then that the last order of business would have to be your new number one contender to the European Title..."

 

"Ejiropean title... and yes, Janus is one big obsticale in my path. But you know something Ben? When a guy wanders around the back talking to himself, it's pretty obvious that he doesn't really have his head on strait. He doesn't have his ducks in a row. And quite frankly unless he can get himself together, I'm going to obliterate him."

 

"Obliterate? The guy is seven feet tall and has more that one hundred pounds on you!"

 

"Size is all relative my boy. He's not so big compared to ... the empire state building. Johnny Dangerous is not so ugly when compared to... you. WildChild is not so stupid when compared to... well compared to anything WildChild isn't so bright!"

 

"So, before we go, anything you'd like to say."

 

"Just this..."

 

WHAP!

 

Swatting Ben across the face with the newspaper, Ejiro continues to smack Hardy around ....

 

WHAP!

WHAP!

WHAP!

 

... until he beats a hasty retreat out of the room.

 

"Stay out of my hotel room, you naughty puppy!"

[Guest Ace309]

Well, I like it. It rationalizes the tapout to Dace while maintaining Ejiro's status as one hell of a badass.

 

Could have used an M7 plug, though.

[Guest kelloggs]

w00t at beating Ben with a news paper. double w00t at being an awesome heel.

 

 

And the coup de grace is YOU BEAT BEN DOWN WITH A PHILLY INQUIRER~! That is by far the best idea EVER.