Promo: A LIttle Old Fashioned Carnie Justice

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

The snow falls outside... and some inside as the newest Midnight Carnival member looks outside the open window as she sips from her bottle of Diet Sprite.

 

"I've always loved winter. The white falling snow landing on trees and wildlife. *sigh* This is the life."

 

Annie Eclectic turns in her seat to face her two guests and stablemates. All three are clad in their trademark national flag trenches, however El Luchadore Magnifico's hardly seems to be helping as the World Champ shivers uncontrollably.

 

"Es un poco frío adentro aquí, Annie" exclaims the World Champ.

 

Annie simply stares blankly.

 

CIA breaks the silence with "He's saying it's rather cold, Annie. Maybe we should close the window during a blizzard, eh?"

 

The Hardcore Queen sighs sadly then closes the window, with a powerful gust just barely allowing about a foot of snow to land on CIA and ELM before it completely shut. She faces her teammates again as she non-chalantly takes another sip of Diet Sprite.

 

"Done, if you must. I understand ELM being a little weak against the cold, but I figured you would enjoy it a bit more, CIA"

 

CIA states, "I enjoy the snow. Outside. We are inside, and I'd like to stay dry, eh"

 

"I get it," says Annie E, "However, I'd like to know why this meeting is being held at my Okinawan retreat"

 

The World Champ and Carnie Leader look at each other and silently decide on CIA to break the news.

 

"We have an idea, a favor really, and we'd like you to do it. It's sorta like half-newbie mission, half-tradition, eh. We want you to do a little spy work, I have much experience myself and history tells me that you have a little yourself...."

 

"History is a smart one," quips Annie.

 

"...Right. Anywho, we would really appreciate it if you could infiltrate the Magnificent Seven HQ and give them a little.... Carnie Justice."

 

The Hardcore queen looks quizzically at her stablemate. She sits back, seemingly mulling over the matter...

 

"... I'LL DO IT! I've been looking for a way to get back at Danny and Tammy for a while now, I'd be happy to do whatever you got lined up! What's the mission?"

 

 

------------------------------------------

 

 

[in the bowels of Deep Thirteen.... uh... Seven]

 

(We see Annie Eclectic wearing a modified red miner's helmet. a pinprick of light streams forward and expands out, lighting her way as she squirms and moves through the heating ducts within the Magnificent Seven compound.)

 

CIA: *kgggzzzsht* We got the visual up, Annie. We placed a camera on your head, eh. We'll be watching out for you as well so don't worry.

 

"I hear you, fearless leader. Damn it's hot in here!"

 

CIA: *kgzzsht* It's a heating duct, what did you expect, eh? A frozen wasteland?

 

"Blargle..."

 

Annie wriggles and worms her way through the ducts, coming upon a grating leading down to a room....

 

"Can you guys zoom in on what's down there?"

 

CIA: *kgssht* Yeah, hold on.... Surfboard... explosives.... Nude pictures of... WHOA! Is that Ash's wife? Hold on, don't move off.... Oh eh, that wasn't nice!

 

"TNT's quarters. I think those are fakes anyway. Pervs."

 

CIA: *kgzsht* It was ELM who really wanted to see... OW!

 

*sigh*

 

Annie continues on for a long way, with seemingly no end to the square venting....

 

 

"Another room, can you see what's in there?"

 

CIA: *kgggzsht* Yeah... Let's see... we got martial arts mags.... different types of weapons... generic bed.... pictures of.... wow, eh! That's amazing.....

 

"Pictures of what? I can't see as well as you guys can."

 

CIA: *kggshzt* Molly was a natural blonde huh?

 

"HEY! I THOUGHT THEY GAVE ME ALL MY STUFF BACK!!!"

 

Annie quickly swivels her head back up towards the ducts, changing the video feed to dull silver-grey metal. Audible sighs come over the radio.

 

"Damn! I want those back for... a keepsake *cough*"

 

CIA: *Kggzzsht* we need to get back on track anyway. However maybe you'd care to show your portfolio with friends, eh?

 

"No. Look, we need to find the training room, the personal quarters aren't far from there, I should be getting close. Keep watch for me."

 

CIA: *kgggsht* Will do.

 

Annie continues to crawl.... forward....

 

forward....

 

forward...

 

CIA: *kggsht* There's no one in front of you, all clear.

 

forward...

 

you're getting the jist of this...

 

forward...

 

CIA: *kggsht* Still clear up ahead.

 

forward...

 

forward....

 

CIA: *kggzsht* All clear in front of you.

 

"CIA, you do realize I can see in front of me. I don't need status reports on what I already know."

 

CIA: *kggzsht* Yes but if we reversed it we'd both just be staring at your BUTT, eh. We wouldn't want that.

 

"HEY!"

 

CIA: *klggggsht* I mean we would want to look at.... I mean we're just trying to be helpful, eh.

 

"..."

 

forward....

 

forward....

 

down....

 

 

down?

 

 

*CRASH*

 

CIA: *kgggsht* I -could- have told you about the sheer drop vent ahead of you but noooo... Annie can see in front of her, she doesn't need -my- help...

 

"Hush, I'm here. I think everyone's gone cause I don't hear anything"

 

CIA: *kgggsht* Still got the payload?

 

"Locked and loaded"

 

CIA: *kgggsht* Operation Carnie Justice.... COMMENCE!

 

"Ow... not so loud!"

 

CIA: *kggsht* Sorry....

 

------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Dawn breaks, and most of the Magnificent Seven awaken. Judge Mental and Tom Flesher talk about upcoming strategies as they enter the massive training room.... only to have four buckets of pink slime come crashing down on them, covering them from head to toe in the viscuous liquid.

 

 

"What... the hell... is THIS?" exclaims Tom.

 

The leader of M7 wipes the sludge from his eyes and peers around the room... his senses are bombarded with pinks and light blues.... even the -heavy bag- has a flower motif painted on it. And the smell.... perfume? All over the training room? The back wall.... oh dear.

 

"What.... what.... WHAT IS THAT????"

 

Judge finally clears all the sludge from his face only to squish up and look over the back wall. Hamsters. Furry, anime hamsters. Seven smiling faces surrounded in anime hamsters, with the legend "Magnificent Seven LOOOOVES Hamtaro!" painted below.

 

 

"I think it's Hamtaro, Tom"

 

"I KNOW what it is.... who... who could have done this.... IS THAT A FLOWER IN MY HAIR???"

 

"It could be kinda manly..."

 

The noise from the training room brings forth the rest of the M7 team, only to smell and see the same results. Frost looks at the scene mouth agape. Mak Francis simply tuts. Danny tries to hold back his smirk, but fails. That is until he looks up at the ceiling. At a giant portrait of a woman, one foot on the chest of a fallen and highly exaggerated form of Danny Williams. She's holding up a stylized United States Title and smiling, her Japanese Flag Trenchcoat waving in the wind.

 

 

Danny looks down, smiles for a half second... then punches the flowery heavy bag and leaving it as a pile of dust.

 

"CARNIES! THAT DAMN. CARNIE. BITCH!" exclaims the US champion.

 

 

 

 

 

On a plane back to her Okinawan home, a woman laughs in the skyline......

 

 

 

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END PROMO

 

-Annie

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

One: Mak isn't in the Mag 7 at this juncture to my knowledge.

 

Two: The Frost Brand Security System would have fried CIA with 100,000 volts of Frost Brand Electricity as soon as he dropped into the vent. But I guess that's what we get for hiring the Memphis Eel as a security guard.

 

Three: Your childish pranks will be avenged by fire and death.

 

Four: Could you post some of those nude pictures?

 

Five: I had an art critic evaluate the painting you left. He threw up on it and immediately increased it's value by $1200 and its now hanging in a gallery in Oxnard.

 

Six: We can't find Mercury's ear. We had it in a mayo jar on a shelf in the parlor next to Lionel Ritchie's funk. If you guys took it, be sure to change the formaldehyde every four days.

 

Seven: funny promo that speaks to the roots of the Midnight Carnival. Basically that they are lame losers.

[Guest Kibagami]

He's just deeply upset that you've discovered his hidden love for Hamtaro.

 

Cool promo.

 

K.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

Sorry, double post.

 

You're all still getting stuffed in the hurt locker though.

[Guest Serrated]

Damn Carnies.

 

 

 

 

...say, Annie. If you haven't already, please take note of the *slight* edit in my stats. Thanks.

[Guest Suicide King]

::polite applause::

 

Excellent job Annie. A wonderful Carnie promo, to be sure... now stick with a gimmick for a month of two and you'll have my unending praise.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Hijinx! Though Magnifico *can* speak English, but still, golden. Walkie-talkies rockie.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

just a couple notes from me...

 

Mak: sorry, I thought you were still at this point technically M7, argh, someone make this whole sitch clear to me or something before I screw up again!

 

Frost: My artwork is under the BSD license, the appraiser can do whatever he wants to it as long as he mentions that I had a small part.

 

King: I'm thinking of sticking around as a Carnie for a good 6 months if not longer. I'm tired of switching myself.

 

I'm rather happy people liked the promo as I was nervous that I'd screw up and make it un-Carnie like. Stress... dissipating... ahhh :-D

 

-Annie

[Guest kelloggs]

Don't worry about it Annie and I'd say Frost is correct on all counts. And a great promo in the tradition of carnies and prankage.

 

See the carnie BE the carnie Annie!

[Guest chirs3]

*can't post a response - too busy laughing himself silly at the thought of M7 huddled all crammed on a couch watching Hamtaro*

[Guest Ace309]

... dude, the Frost-Brand Security System is a hair and a roll of scotch tape.

 

Excellent promo, and I'm very pleased to be victimized in it.