Kevin Smith + Scary Movie 3 = Utter Crap

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Jesus H fucking Christ...

 

You realize you're bitching over nothing, right? Smith has always attracted actors and actresses that he either knew personally or could afford. Why is Smith making a movie staring Affleck, a friend, and Jennifer Lopez, and actress that he can afford, such a blasphemous thing? Smith wasn't a Lloyd Kauffman, meaning he wasn't all about "THIS IS INDEPENDENT CINEMA, DEATH TO THE MAINSTREAM"! Smith just wants to make entertaining "dick and fart joke" flicks! Sure, the stories usually end up having some personal emotion attached to it, and Smith's dialogue is almost second-to-none, but it's not like his movies are pivotal events in the space-time continuum! For fuck's sake, ROGER CORMAN and JOHN WATERS are better directors than he is (although I'm willing to say that Waters is pretty much better than anybody, but that's me and my weird sense of taste).

 

Basically, shut up. He doesn't owe you jack fucking shit, he didn't sell-out, and he's making a movie HE wants to make with people HE wants in it.

[Guest Banky]

Basically, shut up. He doesn't owe you jack fucking shit, he didn't sell-out, and he's making a movie HE wants to make with people HE wants in it.

I never said he owed me anything. I have said that he IS making the movie he wants. I just said I don't agree with it. I think he is selling out. I think his use of Jennifer Lopez has been done to make him more money. So what? - Fuck me up the ass for having an opinion.

[Guest MDH257]

So we're gonna put down Kevin Smith for writing Scary Movie 3 and say nothing about his writing on Coyote Ugly?  This ain't the worst movie he's ever worked on.  And it's not like this movie is going to be anything like the first two.  The Wayans have nothing to do with it.  This one is by David Zucker.  The master of the movie parodies.  Putting him and Smith together leaves no chance that this won't be funny.

 

Maybe the reason Smith doesn't cast his "friends" in his movies anymore is because he wants the movies to actually be, I don't know, GOOD.  So maybe he'd rather use ACTORS instead of just Joe Blow guy off the street now that he actually has a budget he can use.

 

Man I have never understood the Ben Affleck haters.  EVERY single person that has ever appeared in a Kevin Smith movie becomes some kind of icon to people.  Everybody from Jason Lee, to those morons in Clerks, to George Carlin, to the gay black dude in Chasing Amy.  But Ben Affleck?  "Oh no, we can't like him.  He's actually succesfull and makes movies that make money!  We can't like him!  That would take points off my cool factor punch card!"

Smith helped write Coyote Ugly? YIPES! I never knew that, and I despise that movie.

 

As I've said, I like Affleck, so don't go considering me part of that Affleck hate crusade - though, I do feel he has bad taste in women. And his uber-cool studboy gimmick since dating J'lo has left little to be desired.

 

He was one of several writers to do a uncredited rewrite on the script. When it came out, he saw the movie and said about one line of wht he had written had made it into the movie.

[Guest Flyboy]

I think it's all the about the money.

[Guest C.H.U.D.]

Sorry, but bitching about Kevin Smith "selling out" is redundant, since he has admitted from day one that he will sell out whenever it's required.

 

Here is a quote from Roger Ebert's review of Mallrats:

 

"The year that "Clerks" played at the Cannes Film Festival, I was the chairman of a panel discussion of independent filmmakers. Most of them talked about their battles to stay free from Hollywood's playsafe strategies. But Kevin Smith cheerfully said he'd be happy to do whatever the studios wanted, if they'd pay for his films."

 

Let's move on.

[Guest Lethargic]

I think it's all the about the money.

Well, duh. If Kevin Smith didn't want to make money he'd be working at the convenience store instead of making movies about them. Every director wants to make money. Some try to hide it to make themselves look arty but it's BS. You don't become a director to not be succesful at it and being succesful at it takes making money. Because if you don't make money, you don't get to make movies. And there's not much of a point to making a movie if nobody sees it. It's no different from any other job. It's just like punk bands that sign to a major label. They "sold out." Sold out? Just because they want to make something of themselves that's above living in a van and starving to death for their "art"? Smith's movies haven't exactly been huge box office successes or anything. He has his core audience and that's it. If putting some name stars in the mix helps bring more people to his movies to see that he's more than just dick and fart jokes then so be it. The guy has made some great movies and he deserves to have some success for that.

[Guest razazteca]

has the Scary Movie sequal been casted yet? What if they replaced the Wayans with the Wilsons? How would an Owen Wilson long winded monolog of Owen flashing a picture of Darth Vader to members of his team be accepted by smarks? They could also cast the Carny Wilson or whatever the ex-fat girl name is for comedy relieve.

 

If you want to say Kevin Smith sold out then I would consider the Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back movie as proof, since it was basically a 2 hour inside joke by his friends.

[Guest El Satanico]

I doubt he'd have enough power to say who gets cast. It just looks like he'll be helping out and it sounds like a "you help us, we help you".

 

I'd accept it just fine if it was the Wilsons in place of the misfit Wayans.

[Guest red_file]

Though I know better, I really do, I can't help myself.

 

Atleast he had niche in the movies. He played what his character was all about. Mewes being cast in the movie is much different than the reason Lopez was.

 

Mewes played himself. I'm not saying he wasn't charming in the role or even that he was a bad point of the movie; what I'm saying is that he wasn't chosen based on skill.

 

How is the Lopez signing any different than Shannen Doherty?

 

Oh boy, not roles in the Clerks animated series.

 

Not a fan? Both seemed very happy to have worked on the animated series, and both did very good work on it.

 

Give me a break, they both were the stars of Clerks. if Anderson had a falling out thats fine, but I'm sure O'Halleran would have loved a major role in any of the View Askew movies.

 

Something that it's impossible to speculate on. He might've been offered a larger role and turned it down. He might've been working on other things. He seems a rather down to earth guy, maybe he wasn't comfortable with being a star. There are any number of reasons why he might've wanted to have a smaller role in the View Askew films. To assume that it was all Mr. Smith's doing is a disservice to Brian.

 

 

Yes, both were in Mallrats, but who was more of the star? J. Lee.

 

And yet you're not crying foul that Smith has never again cast Jeremy London, the other star of Mallrats.

 

I like Affleck, its just the principle that Smith bends over backwards only for him and not for anyone else.

 

Exactly how does he bend over backwards for Afflect? I've always seen it the other way around. Afflect has in the past used little breaks in the filming of larger movies to be in Smith's movies, and has worked for virtually nothing. He's even allowed his cinematic failures to be fodder for jokes.

 

 

Pessimist? Did you see Scary Movie 2? Did you see J&SBSB (a spoof movie based on his own characters) - both were not very good. Its called being realistic - not pessimistic.

 

I enjoyed both movies, actually. Both had their flaws, but both were ultimately enjoyable for me.

 

Calling J&SBSB a spoof movie is doing it a disservice. It played by the rules of View Askew continuity and didn't turn its characters into self parodies (though we could certainly argue the parodic nature of the characters to begin with). There were satirical elements in the film, but really no more or less than were in any other View Askew movie.

 

Look, I don't have any vested interest in whether or not you like View Askew movies or what you think of Kevin Smith's career choices. What concerns me is that your reasons for disliking what Smith is doing is based on the attribution of qualities that never existed in him.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

"And yet you're not crying foul that Smith has never again cast Jeremy London, the other star of Mallrats."

 

Maybe that's because he was TERRIBLE

[Guest Banky]

Pessimist? Did you see Scary Movie 2? Did you see J&SBSB (a spoof movie based on his own characters) - both were not very good. Its called being realistic - not pessimistic.

 

I enjoyed both movies, actually. Both had their flaws, but both were ultimately enjoyable for me.

 

Calling J&SBSB a spoof movie is doing it a disservice. It played by the rules of View Askew continuity and didn't turn its characters into self parodies (though we could certainly argue the parodic nature of the characters to begin with). There were satirical elements in the film, but really no more or less than were in any other View Askew movie.

 

Look, I don't have any vested interest in whether or not you like View Askew movies or what you think of Kevin Smith's career choices. What concerns me is that your reasons for disliking what Smith is doing is based on the attribution of qualities that never existed in him.

We clearly disagree on everything, so I don't want to play the reply back and forth game because we'll never agree. But I do have to majorly disgree about you not considering J&SBSB a spoof. Did you see what they did to the Banky Edwards character? C'mon dude, in the first one he was funny yet had some serious issues to deal with, then in J&SBSB he is nothing but a walking gay joke machine. Now he's confessing to be gay just for a cheap laugh at the end. Look at the Holden character, he was serious as hell, but he is portrayed as this wise cracking comedian who no longer has the painful issues that 'supposedly' damaged him emotionally. If they wouldn't have said they were talking to Holden, I'd have assumed Affleck was playing another character because they were nothing alike.

 

And at the end, Kevin Smith is taking a shot at Hollywood. How people forget their scripts (Biggs and VanDerBeek), the reduntancy of sequels, and saying how fake it is. Now some people may think of J&SBSB as a sequel, but its more of a summation of 4 movies with a much different outlook. Anyway, he made fun of how ridiculous Hollywood was and so forth, then I see he is hanging with Lopez and writing Scary Movie 3? He has become the issue he was satarizing. He is now part of his own joke. If you make fun of it enough, you become part of it.

[Guest Lethargic]

The problem with the characters in Jay and Bob is that they were usually only in for a few minutes. There was no time to delve into their characters. They were only thing to say "hey I'm Holden, remember me, I was in Chasing Amy, blah blah blah" and then they moved on to remember another character. There was no room for damaging emotional crap. Firstly because of the time, and secondly because it wasn't needed. That wasn't the point of the movie. It was just a final blowout of dick and fart jokes before he moves on and tries to tackle other movies. And besides it's been 5 years since Chasing Amy, Holden MIGHT be over it by now. haha

 

What I really don't get is why it's ok for him to spoof Hollywood in Jay and Bob but it's NOT ok for him to spoof it in Scary Movie 3. It's much more of a parody movie than Jay and Bob was.

[Guest Banky]

The problem with the characters in Jay and Bob is that they were usually only in for a few minutes. There was no time to delve into their characters. They were only thing to say "hey I'm Holden, remember me, I was in Chasing Amy, blah blah blah" and then they moved on to remember another character. There was no room for damaging emotional crap. Firstly because of the time, and secondly because it wasn't needed. That wasn't the point of the movie. It was just a final blowout of dick and fart jokes before he moves on and tries to tackle other movies. And besides it's been 5 years since Chasing Amy, Holden MIGHT be over it by now. haha

 

What I really don't get is why it's ok for him to spoof Hollywood in Jay and Bob but it's NOT ok for him to spoof it in Scary Movie 3. It's much more of a parody movie than Jay and Bob was.

But nothing was even discussed about what he had been doing for the pasr 5 years. I did expect him to cry and whine about it, but he made no mention of anything involving the the Chasing Amy premise. I didn't expect emotional dribble, but since he was 'supposedly' giving closure to the whole series, I'd have expected more of an update.

 

Kevin Smith won't be spoofing Hollywood in Scary Movie 3. And you missed my whole point. I didn't care he spoofed Hollywood - its just now he has BECOME what he was satarizing. Simple as that. Jennifer Lopez's whole image, attitude, and ingunity reeks of Hollywood.

[Guest What?]

I hate disliking people's work by association, but when I have yet to run into a single likeable person who worships this guy, I tend to develop a mean hatred for him.

......Does that mean you hate me?

 

 

 

*runs off and cries*

[Guest red_file]

As said, I can't help myself. Really, I'm not trying to convince you of anything (I can see a lost cause), I'm more playing with myself than anything.

 

We clearly disagree on everything

 

Well, not on that point.

 

But I do have to majorly disgree about you not considering J&SBSB a spoof.

 

I don't consider it a spoof because it isn't a spoof. A spoof is a gentle satirical imitation; a light parody. There were parodic elements in J&SBSB (notably the Good Will Hunting 2, Scream 4, and Bluntman and Chronic bits), but for the most part the movie was a satire of fandom. And the fandom that was taken most to task was View Askew fandom, as was evidenced by Movie Poop Shoot.

 

Consider the differences between Scary Movie and Scream as the differences between a spoof and a satire. One pokes fun for no reason other than to elict laughs, the other pokes fun to illuminate problems within a closed system (in this case the horror genre).

 

He has become the issue he was satarizing. He is now part of his own joke. If you make fun of it enough, you become part of it.

 

I'd argue that that was the statement he was trying to make at the end of the film when members of the View Askew universe were walking out and trasing Bluntman and Chronic. He was saying that even his own characters wouldn't like the things he's doing, so certainly those amongst the View Askew fandom won't like it. Randal becomes part of the fandom when he says that he's going to flame the movie when he gets home; Alyssa comments that her own film never would've worked; Hooper exists to give a nod to GLAAD. He wasn't so much satirizing movies or the way their made, as much as he was the way movies are precieved by the fans and how seriously they take some things.

 

And then there's the question of the subtext behind Jay and Silent Bob tracking down a bunch of movie fans who'd trashed Bluntman and Chronic on the web. Not subtle, but effective.

[Guest converge241]

i dont have a problem with him doing it but i wonder why they want to considering that SM2 did much worse..i like both but they were only funny once (see also austin powers movies)

 

They need to make Airplane 3!!

i never get sick of those