Winona Ryder has been sentenced...

[Guest Downhome]

Here we go...

 

(AP) - Winona Ryder was sentenced Friday to work with the sick, the blind and babies with AIDS as part of a probationary term for stealing more than $5,500 worth of high-fashion merchandise from a Saks Fifth Avenue store. "If you steal again you will go to jail," Superior Court Judge Elden Fox told the actress, who sat watching him solemnly and acknowledged the warning.

 

...and to top it off, her special reaction...

 

 

...comment, discuss, or just give that damn picture a caption fitting of a stupid bitch.

 

Sincerely,

...Downhome...

[Guest Downhome]

Her lawyer said that Ryder was just "being made an example of". If you ask me, they best thank God that she didn't go to jail. I can't believe she brought up giving a lot of money to help a child murder case or something, and said because of that she should have a lesser punishment. God, just God.

[Guest TJH]

Caption: "I can't believe it's not butter"

[Guest Downhome]

If you guys want one hell of a laugh, try and catch Larry King here in a few minuts, as HER lawyer will be the "special" guest! I mean, really...

 

...if you have yet to get your daily dose of bull shit, then this guy should fill you right up!

[Guest Incandenza]

...and to top it off, her special reaction...

 

 

...comment, discuss, or just give that damn picture a caption fitting of a stupid bitch.

 

Sincerely,

...Downhome...

You've taken that picture out of context:

 

In making his final appeal to the court, defense attorney Mark Geragos talked up Ryder's prior good deeds--a documentary she financed on the sex-slave trade in India, the "hundreds of thousands" of dollars she contributed to charity and the effort she led to seek the return of Polly Klaas, a 12-year-old girl kidnapped from the star's Petaluma, California, hometown in 1993. (Klaas was eventually found murdered.)

 

In her rebuttal time, prosecutor Ann Rundle, who hammered away at Ryder throughout trial, took out the heavy tools one more time, accusing the actress and Geragos of trying to win sympathy by "trotting out the body of a dead child."

 

The not-indirect reference to Klaas sent Ryder bolting from her seat, open-mouthed and aghast, and Geragos voicing an objection.

 

At the behest of a bailiff, Ryder soon returned to her seat but struggled to find her game face. She glared at Rundle, shook her head and muttered a disdainful "Oh, my God..." when the prosecutor finally wrapped.

[Guest DrTom]

Would this be an inappropriate time to say, "She'd look better with my dick in her mouth?"

 

Seriously, though, that was a really messed-up thing for the prosecutor to say. Maybe she's right, but that's not the kind of thing you say in a courtroom. I'm not surprised that Ryder got off with some kind of community service work, really. I think it's her first offense, and there's the whole celebruty factor helping her out, too.

[Guest bob_barron]

That's a pretty fucked up thing to say and I'd be pretty pissed off too

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

She should've gone to jail so she could make soft-core lesbian jail movies called "Caged Heat" or something equally cheesy.

[Guest MrRant]

There have already been two of them to my count.