OAOAST IntenseZone - 12/9/02

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Opening Segment: Have a Holly Jolly Christmas

 

EARLIER TODAY

 

Michael Cole is outside in the cold night, with thousands of fans waiting to get inside the arena.

 

Michael goes near some fans.

 

MICAHEL COLE

 

Who do you think will win the Last Man Standing match at Bloody, Battered & Beaten?

 

TEENAGE GIRL

 

Tony "The Body" ! He's sooooooo sexy.

 

Bystanders have a mixed reaction.

 

MICHAEL

 

What about you?

 

MAN

 

Big Poppa Popick! He's going to destroy that wannabee Ventura look-alike.

 

Another teenage girl grabs the mic from Michael.

 

TEENAGE GIRL

 

What's with the goatee, Carson?

 

Michael just looks at her.

 

TEENAGE GIRL

 

I wanna request Madonna's "Die Another Die," because she knows how to stay with the times, and because Zack Malibu comes out to her song. I love you, Zack! Marry me!! Oh, oh. I also wanna send a shout out to all my girls back in Joysey. What up, Susan, Steph, Alison? Whoooooooo!

 

MICHAEL

 

You thinking of the wrong show.

 

MAN

 

(in background)

 

Ho! Ho! Ho!

 

A MAN wearing a Santa outfit comes into the screen.

 

Crowd starts booing.

 

MICHAEL

 

It's Santa Clause! How you doing, Santa.

 

SANTA

 

Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Holidays, Michael.

 

MICHAEL

 

Don't you mean "Merry Christmas"?

 

SANTA

 

Oh, no! Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm the P.C. version of Santa. Ho! Ho! Ho! And I'm here to wish everbody a good one this month. But there's two boys who have been very naughty, Michael. Big Poppa Popick & Tony "The Body". I suggest those two Santa's Little Helpers to make up, because Uncle Santee isn't going to deliver their presents this year. I'm going to be watching them. Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a good one, Michael. Ho! Ho! Ho!

 

SANTA walks away.

 

MICHAEL

 

Let's go inside for the Intense Zone!

 

LITTLE GIRL

 

Santa, can I have a hug?

 

SANTA

 

Not now, you little brat.

 

LITTLE GIRL starts crying.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

First Match: Knee Deep in SuperShit

 

OAOAST North American title

Angle-Plex vs Alfdogg

 

*The Wall hits and Alfdogg comes out, getting a monster pop.*

 

The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST Nortm American Championship! First, the challenger, weighing 240 pounds...ALFDOGG!

 

*aWo PORNO hits and Agnes comes out to enormous boos and a "BAN AGNES" chant.*

 

His opponent...weighing 225 pounds...aWo member, and the OAOAST North American champion...ANGLE-PLEX!

 

*bell rings*

 

The referee checks Agnes...and finds a pair of brass knuckles! The official goes over to set them on the announce table, and AP pulls a bag of salt out of the turnbuckle! Alf attacks in the corner...and is blinded by salt flying into his face, courtesy of Agnes! Agnes with a quick belly-to-back suplex...two-count! Alf just barely manages to overcome the shock and kick out. AP follows up with a belly-to-belly, and a big kick ala Tajiri. 1..2..no! Alf still kicks out. Rolling germans from Agnes, who bridges up on the last one for yet another close two-count!

 

Jesse

Look at this, JR! ANGLE-PLEX is DOMINATING the former OAOAST World champion here!

 

JR

Yeah, thanks to that damn powder!

 

Jesse

I didn't see that!

 

JR

Well I sure as fuck did!

 

Jesse

You only see what you want to see Jim Ross!

 

AP ascends the top rope...diving headbutt connects! 1..2..no! Alf gets the shoulder up! AP with a clothesline, ascends the ropes again...frog splash misses! Alf regains his sight long enough to get a T-Bone suplex! Two-count! Superkick from Alf, and a bridging dragon suplex, 1..2..NO! Agnes' feet land in the ropes! Alf sets AP up for a powerbomb...but AP scores with a low blow, and gets the ANGLE-PLEX~! 1..2..NO! Alf gets his free foot on the rope! AP tries a german, but Alf reverses...BURNING HAMMER~! 1..2..NO! Sandman is here and has pulled the ref out of the ring! Alf throws AP into him and catchas AP with a spinebuster! He ascends the top rope...FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH CONNECTS! But there's no ref! WAIT! The Superstar is here, and he throws the ref into the ring! 1..2..NO! AP gets his shoulder up! SS and SM brawl on the floor, and both roll into the ring! Alf picks up AP, and SS dropkicks SM! SM falls back and butts heads with Alf! AP catches Alf, and gets the ANGLE-PLEX~! 1..2..3~!!!

 

Jesse

HE DID IT! Agnes has pinned Alfdogg!

 

The winner of this contest, and STILL OAOAST North American champion, ANGLE-PLEX!!!

 

SS runs off SM and AP, but is confronted by an angry Alfdogg, who has a mic.

 

"Let me get one thing straight...when the Deadly Alliance was in it's prime...we had everything in sync. THAT was not "in sync". Now, last week, I offered you a spot in the Deadly Alliance. You told me you wanted to be a part of the group. Well, next week, on this program, I want you to PROVE that you want to be a part of this group. You are going to meet ME, right here, next week."

 

*crowd pops*

 

*Alf holds up a DA shirt*

 

"See this shirt? This shirt signifies the REAL symbol of excellence in professional wrestling. Now, the way we're gonna do this, is we're gonna take this symbol, and we're gonna hang it 15 feet above the ring. You guessed it...we're gonna contest it in a LADDER match. So you desire to be a member? Well next Monday, you bring that desire, cause you're damn sure gonna need it in that ring against me. Just remember that no matter WHAT happens next Monday, when it's all said and done...things are gonna get DEADLIER."

 

*The Wall hits, and Alfdogg departs leaving SS in the ring*

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Segment Three: Nobody Expects the Spanish Inquisition

 

::NazMistry walks out to 'Chop Suey' and is soundly booed.

 

Naz steps into the ring and is handed a mic, he pauses before going off into his promo.

 

Naz-'So I Caboose is finally coming back.'

 

(CROWD POPS)

 

Naz-'Thing is, why is he coming back? Is he coming to shut me up?'

 

(CROWD POPS)

 

Naz-'Is he coming back to get revenge on AlfDogg and Bill Watts?' (CROWD POPS)

 

Naz-'Is he coming back to save the OAOAST from the aWo?' (CROWD POPS HUGE)

 

Naz-'Or is he coming back to rejoin the aWo?'

 

JR-'What the hell is he on about? Caboose hates the aWo!'

 

Naz-'What you may ask I mean by that last statement, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Let's go all the way back to March when the OAOAST was in it's infancy. Let me set the scene, AngleSault has just swerved and joined up with CWM and GoodHelmet to form the original aWo, first named by none other than Caboose himself. AngleSault agrees to a showdown with Caboose and heres the footage...

 

::Caboose comes down from the rafters and stands opposite AngleSault in his usual All-Black Outfit and White Face Paint.

 

The two Lockup, Caboose pushes AngleSault down! The Crowd Erupts.

 

AngleSault gets up and looks around, He Goes to punch Caboose, But it's Blocked! Sault kicks low and nails a DDT, Caboose No Sells the DDT and stands up, the Crowd is going delirious! AngleSault Sneezes and Caboose goes down like the he's been hit with the finger poke of doom! Anglesault uses the ARROGANT COVER for 1... 2...3! AngleSault Wins! Caboose gets up peels of his White Face Paint, tears of his Black top to reveal the brand new aWo t-shirt! It reads 'WE WILL MAKE YOU TAP OUT!' in red and white on the blue cotton! SWERVE HEEL TURN BAYBEE~!

 

JR-'By god are only hope Caboose has joined the aWo! That SONOFABITCH!'

 

CWM, GH, AS and Caboose embrace in the ring as the crowd boos and throws rubbish into the ring!::

 

Naz-'Getting the point yet? Caboose was the first man to turn his back on OAOAST and join the aWo. Now you might say he left the night after AngleMania, but thats not the end of it. Once again I'll set the scene. It's the Battle Royal to declare a No.1 Contender for the OAOAST champion AngleSault. In the ring Triple H's goons and the aWo are having a mid Battle Royal war...

 

::Backstage, an ambulance pulls up in the ParkingLot and out steps a familiar figure!

 

The buzzer goes and it's time for no.24!

 

'Epic' hits for the third time of the night and Caboose returns but heavily bandaged!

 

JR-'Business Just Picked Up!'.

 

Caboose runs to the ring and stands one side, while TC, AD, SD9000, D-Lo and Triple H stand opposite!

 

TC attacks first and is SpineBuster'd!

 

SD9000 charges next, Caboose sidesteps and tosses SD9000 over the top!

 

D-Lo dives at Caboose, but Caboose grabs D-Lo in mid air and delivers the EndOfTheLine(FlatLiner)!

 

AD is next and tries to SuperAlfKick Caboose, but Caboose grabs AD's foot and pulls AD into, and delivers, a CaptureSuplex!

 

JR-'Caboose is a runaway train in the ring!'.

 

Triple H swings at Caboose with the SledgeHammer but Caboose steps back.

 

The momentum of the SledgeHammer swings Triple H around and Caboose dives at Triple H locking on the ChickenWingCrossface!

 

Clock 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0...

 

Next up is Long Time Loyal aWo Lackey, BigMcHugeLarge!

 

BML stomps on Caboose to break the hold, not realising whats going on!

 

The aWo are up on their feet, and watch Caboose get up and start to argue with BML!

 

BML gives Caboose the DoubleBirdie~! and Caboose Emerald Fusions's BML!

 

The aWo step in to help their comrade...

 

...Caboose, the aWo annihilate BML and toss him over the top like yesterdays news!

 

SWERVE BAYBEE~!

 

Caboose rips off his bandages to reveal an aWo shirt!

 

SG, CWM, Caboose and AnglePlex embrace!

 

JR-'Oh my God, Caboose has retured to the aWo!'::

 

Naz-'See once again, Caboose despite claiming independence, came back to the aWo. But even then Caboose wasn't finished for the night. You see later on Caboose made it to the final four and had a real shot at winning the Battle Royal, yet his loyalty to the aWo was more important...

 

::FINAL FOUR: Caboose, AlfDogg, TheSoleSurvivor and AngleSault.

 

AS AngleSlams TSS from behind and then locks in the AngleLock!

 

JR-'Just how much punishment can TSS take?!?!?!?'

 

Caboose whips AD, but AD reverses and Caboose goes into the ropes!

 

AD goes for the HurriAlfCanrana on Caboose, but Caboose reverses AD onto the PowerBomb position, and Powerbombs AD over the Top Rope and Out!

 

AS lets go of TSS's ankle and looks at Caboose.

 

AngleSault lifts his eyebrow, Caboose nods, and AS whips Caboose into the ropes...!

 

AD stumbles to his feet and looks dazed.

 

Caboose bounces off the ropes and pulls of The SPACEFLYINGTIGERDROP~! onto AlfDogg!::

 

Naz-'How much more loyal can you get, passing up a title shot just so you can be aWo. Caboose said it best himself later that night...

 

:: Kevin Kelly-'Caboose, you proved you are a team player tonight!'

 

Caboose-'You damn straight KK, SPACEFLYINGTIGERDROP~!

 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

 

aWo 4-Eva Chico!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

 

Caboose stunners Kevin Kelly!::

 

Naz-'"aWo 4-Eva Chico" are they words of someone who hates the aWo?Caboose do you honestly believe us to think your gonna show up at Bloody, Battered & Beaten, and NOT help the aWo?'

 

(CROWD BOOS)

 

Jesse-'The man makes an awful lot of sense JR.'

 

JR-'I think he's ignoring certain events.'

 

Naz-'So Caboose come Battered, Bloody & Beaten, show up and fight me. Whether your aWo or OAOAST matters not to me, but please do not decieve these naive fans.'

 

Naz drops the mic and leaves to a chorus of boos.

 

(Crowd is somehwat silenced by Naz's claims)::

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Restroom Break: Enter Sandman

 

First Blood

BowserLogan vs. Sandman9000

 

The Dungeon theme from Super Mario Bros. hits as BowserLogan stomps his way down to ringside. The Koopa King climbs into the ring and prepares himself for his match.

 

“A.W.O.” comes over the loudspeakers, followed by two missiles with red, white, and blue streams behind them smash into the stage, causing an explosion. “America!” is yelled out, as “White America” hits full gear and Sandman9000 comes sprinting down the aisle, with a bundle of lightbulbs in hand!

 

Sandman hits the ring, takes a swing at Bowser, who ducks and kicks Sandman in the gut. Sandman drops the lightbulbs, as Bowser whips Sandman into the ropes. Bowser floors Sandman with a big clothesline. Bowser goes for a big splash, but Sandman rolls out of the way. As Bowser holds his stomach, Sandman grabs a lightbulb from his bundle and smashes Bowser over the back of the head with it!

 

Bowser holds the back of his head, as the official is searching for blood. Sandman grabs two more lightbulbs and blasts Bowser over the back of the head again, as the blood flow is obvious now, and the official calls for the bell!

 

Winner: Sandman9000 in 0:34

 

Via: BowserLogan bleeding

 

Sandman breaks another lightbulbs over Bowser, before throwing the official out of the ring. Sandman demands a microphone and receives what he wants.

 

“Shut the fuck up. What happened on Monday was a fluke. There is no way in hell that two dumbshit rookies could ever beat an aWo team. It was one of those one in a million instances. I see them again, I won’t even need Agnes. I kicked the shit out of three rookies by myself. I could take those two little fucks again. Spider, Dandy, you see what happened to Bowser here?”

 

Sandman grabs another lightbulb and hits Bowser with it, as Bowser finally gets out of the ring.

 

“That ain’t nothing. You fuck with me again, I’ll fuck you up worse then that. Annnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddd, speaking of me fucking people up…”

 

Sandman grabs a hunk of broken glass and throws it at Bowser as he walks up the ramp, holding the back of his head. Sandman misses, but it causes Bowser to flee from ringside.

 

“Alf, here is a little something you should have known. You weren’t the heart of the Deadly Alliance, Caboose wasn’t the heart, BPP wasn’t the heart, I was the motherfucking heart of that group! I was the goddamn man! I was the one everyone feared. All you little pussies did was run your damn mouth, while I did all the damn work! I was the reason that group hung around for as long as it did. Once I had enough with it, that’s when everything fell apart.”

 

Sandman grabs a lightbulb, just to hold onto.

 

“Remember Alfy, when I kicked the shit out of you for the X-Title? You remember the H8 Lock when you were on that barbed wire board? You remember how much fun that was? Well, I’m gonna use you to say a lot of things. December 28, whatever the name of our fucking show is, I don’t fucking care, you and me, Christmas Style Deathmatch!”

 

The crowd roars in approval, as a Sandman deathmatch is always guaranteed to entertain!

 

“My first one since killing EvenflowDDT. Make no mistake about it, I don’t care what he calls himself now, EvenflowDDT is dead, and I killed him. And I’m gonna destroy you Alf. I’m gonna destroy you pathetic little remake of the DA before it can get started. I’m gonna prove to everyone that no rookie will ever get the best of me. And that I’m not the weak link of the aWo. This match, Alf, will prove that 2003 will be my time!”

 

Sandman prepares to walk away, but not before smashing the lightbulb over his own head!

 

“Hail to the King, Baby!”

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Second Hour: A Christmas Memory

 

::Meanwhile, backstage in the Commissioner's office::

Zack Malibu w/ Alison walk through the door to find BPP with his feet up on the desk, a menora lighted on where his papers and contracts normally are. To the side of BPP's desk are three gift-wrapped packages.

ZACK

Popick? I didn't think you were Jewish!

BPP

I'm not, but some of our OaOasT fans are. And so, since their holiday season is largely ignored, I decided that we should celebrate Hanakuh with some gifts tonight. Zack, Allison, your presents are the two on the bottom.

::Zack runs to grab his gift like a little boy and rips open the packaging::

ZACK

Sweet! The entire Saved by the Bell first season on DVD! Awesome BPP!

ALISON

But, I don't get mine. It's a reservation for a ski trip for two...BPP, are you coming onto me?

BPP

No Alison, that's for you and our confused Evenflow. I think he needs a break.

ZACK

So BPP, what's the third present then. I thought that was EF's

BPP

No, this present is for the fans. We haven't had alot to cheer for in recent weeks, so I think what's in that box might make some of our fans very happy.

ZACK

You going to open it then?

BPP

No, you open it.

::Zack opens up the last gift and pulls out two brand-spanking new In-Crowd shirts.

ZACK

Wow BPP! These are the best shirts yet. Ally, here, take yours!

BPP

It's not in her size

ZACK

It's not, hey this is a large shirt. You're right. Who's shirt is this B?

BPP

Me, partner.

::Crowd cheers as BPP outstretches his hand. Zack, in shock, grabs the hand and hugs BPP as Alison is visibly affected. ::

ZACK

So I guess this means the most popular group in the OaOasT is back

BPP

You bet bud. Now let's go win us some Tag Team Title gold. I think the fans would like to see that to.

ZACK

Let's do it!

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Sixth Segment: Weirdness, Indeed

 

OAOAST World Tag Team Championship

Mystery Eskimo & JINGUS vs Zack Malibu & Big Poppa Popick

 

'Aww naw', and BPP walks down to the ring, quickly joined by Zack Malibu as 'Die Another Day' plays. The challengers, who earnt this spot last week on IZ, get a big pop

 

Verdi's "Reqium" plays to signal the arrival of JINGUS and Mystery Eskimo. The monster walks down the ailse with his zombie girlfriend Jamie once again. The music segues into "Ice Ice Baby" as the champions get into the ring and pose with their titles.

 

All 4 of these men have been battling the aWo in recent weeks, but tonite it's all about tag gold as Zack and BPP have a chance to end the reign of the Miracle Weirdness Connection after just a few weeks.

 

Eskimo starts in the ring with BPP, who extends a hand that Eskimo knocks away with a sneer. These two men battled hard over the US/USTV title earlier this year, and Eskimo hasnt forgotten that it was BPP who took that gold away from him. They lock up, but BPP takes Eskimo into an arm bar. ME tries to reverse but BPP reverses again to maintain control. Eskimo abandons science and stomps the right foot of BPP, and as Popick's grip weakens spins round with a clothesline that levels BPP. Eskimo tries to whip Popick off the ropes but BPP hangs onto them and Eskimo's dropkick meets air. ME hits the mat and BPP runs over to get a neckbreaker for a 2 count.

 

Popick gets a snap suplex and tags in Zack, who gets a big pop as he jumps into the ring. Malibu spin kicks Eskimo to the mat and then gets a butterfly suplex for 2. Zack climbs up top but JINGUS knocks the rope so that he crotches himself, and Eskimo pops up to get a belly to belly off the top rope! Both men hit the mat hard, but Eskimo is up first and makes the tag to JINGUS, who drags Zack into the middle of the ring and just plants him with a droopy dog slam. J covers but Zack is out at 2.

 

J hits a shoulder breaker on the American Idol, followed by a back breaker as the crowd starts to chant for Zack. But JINGUS merely roars and continues to dismantle Malibu, choking him out on the mat until BPP runs in to break it up with a kick to the head. JINGUS stares at BPP and makes to attack but the ref bravely jumps in the way. JINGUS growls at the ref, as Zack recovers enough to bounce off the ropes and nail JINGUS in the side of the head with a flying forearm. The monster is staggered but doesnt go down, so Zack hits a dropkick that still dosnt floor the Devilman. Finally a russian legsweep from Zack takes JINGUS to the mat but the cover gets barely 1. Zack tags in BPP and they attempt a double team suplex on JINGUS but JINGUS won't be moved. Zack and Popick hammer at J with forearms, and then finally get the suplex! JINGUS crashes to the mat and BPP covers, but again only 1.

 

BPP goes to work with a flurry of kicks to the midsection of J, who finally looks like he is being slowed down. BPP is able to whip him off the ropes and hit a basement dropkick that buckles the knees of J and sends him to the mat. BPP tries to get a suplex but JINGUS reverses it and suplexs Popick for a 2 count. JINGUS looks a little dazed from the past few minutes, and tags in Eskimo, who goes to work with a trio of German suplexs, which he immediately follows by 2 KillerWhalePlexes, holding the last for the count that's broken up by Zack. Eskimo snapmares BPP and drops a leg for 2. The Igloo DDT gets another 2, and ME drags BPP into the corner. JINGUS sits on the top turnbuckle and Eskimo climbs up onto his shoulders! The crowd draws there breath as Eskimo stands high above the ring, then leaps off with the Flying Icicile Headbutt! ME connects with the head of Popick, and the impact looks to have put both men out.

 

The crowd chants for Popick as both men try to roll over for the tag. Zack tries to encourage his partner, but JINGUS just walks into the ring, kicks Popick in the head to halt his movement, then drags Eskimo into the champs corner and slaps him for the tag! The ref looks at the mutated freak and dosnt argue, but Zack is incensed and runs in, taking it to JINGUS with punches and kicks that stun the big man and force him down to a knee, allowing Zack to hit the ZACK ATTACK! But Zack isnt legal and the ref dosnt count the pin. Zack gets up, frustrated, only to be caught with a Penguin Kick from Eskimo! But BPP is up and gets the Syncronicity bomb on Eskimo! This time though Eskimo is clearly down for 3, he isnt legal and the pin isn't counted again! BPP gets up but its KICKWHAM DEVILBOMB! JINGUS falls onto Popick, 1, 2, 3!

 

The Miracle Weirdness Connection pick up their biggest win yet! Zack checks on BPP as Eskimo and JINGUS leave, looking slightly surprised at having pulled out a win.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

Main Event: 6 Man Tag

 

We join in as the match starts

 

Reject and Greenmist start things off. They lock up in the center. Mist gets the advantage and begins to push Reject towards the corner, but Reject sneaks in a knee to the gut to gain the advantage and goes into a standing sunset flip for a 2-count. Reject measures up Mist as he gets up, but GM quickly hits a drop toe hold. As Reject gets back up, Mist meets him with kicks to the gut, followed by one final shot to the head. He covers for 2. Mist drags Reject to the corner and tags in Superstar, who comes in with a slingshot clothesline to Reject. The cover gets 2. Superstar goes right to him with an armbar. Reject quickly gets to the ropes. Superstar dashes onto the apron and comes in with an elbow onto the arm of Reject. Superstar drops a lazy knee on the arm and tags Mist back in who scoops up Reject and plants stiff kicks to the arm. He goes for another final kick to the head, but Reject wises up, ducks and plants a roundhouse to the gut. Mist is dazed long enough for Reject to dart over and tag in Anglesault. AS goes to work on Mist with stiff shots and finishes up with a bodyslam. AS scoops Mist back up and irish whips him into the far corner. He comes in with a hard clothesline that takes Mist down. He drops an elbow and covers nonchalantly for a 2 count. He pounds away some more on Mist and covers once more for another 2 count. AS scoops up Mist and begins to bring him over to AS's corner, when Mist hits a stiff kick to the back of the knee. Before AS can recover, Mist hits a desperation ddt and both are down. Both begin to stir and crawl to their respective corners. AS tags in CWM first as Mist tags in Tony. Tony comes in a house of fire, taking down all opposing members. Tony tosses Reject to the outside and turns around to be met with a superkick by CWM. The cover gets 2. CWM drags Tony over to the corner and tags back in AS. AS comes at Tony blindly with a clothesline which is ducked and Tony quickly makes the tag to SS. CWM tries to get back in, but is met by Mist. The two battle to the outside and eventually out through the crowd. As the ref is focusing on Tony and Reject, who are both on the outside now, AS hits a quick lowblow on Superstar and takes him down with a ddt. He climbs up top looking for the anglesault. He takes too much time and Superstar quickly kips up, dashes up the ropes, grabbing AS and taking him off with a super germanplex. He rolls through into a bridge as the ref returns to make the count-1....2......3! Superstar gets the win for his team. He quickly releases the bridge and rolls out of the ring. AS is down in the ring as Superstar's arm is raised by the ref on the outside. He backs down the aisle and then turns raising his arms once more in victory. Just as he is about to disappear behind the curtain, AS sits up. The two have a staredown as SS points at him and smiles to the camera fading out.