SJL Wrath For December 8th, 2002!

December 9, 2002

(...and I was bloody waiting on him. I'M SUCH AN IDIOT. Er, anyway...)

The fans in the San Fransico Cow Palace chatter amongst themselves, waiting eagerly for the show, knowing it could begin at any moment... suddenly, the lights darken, and a voice booms out over the arena... "Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for the National Anthem."

In the ring, a spotlight shines down on Funyon, dressed as always in his fancy tux, raises the mic to his lips, as a familair guitar beat begins...

(You could listen to the studio version of this song, but it would be preferred if you had the Crowe feat. Guy Lombardo Bridge verision handy...)

Your love is like bad medicine

Bad medicine is what I need

Shake it up, just like a bad medicine

There ain't no doctor that can cure my desease

I ain't got a fever, got a permanent desease

It'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy

I got lots of money but it isn't what I need

Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison out of me

I got all the symptoms

Count 'em 1, 2, 3

First you need

That's what you get for falling in love

Then you bleed

You get a little but it's never enough

On your knees

That's what you get for falling in love

And now this boy's addicted 'cause your kiss is the drug

Your love is like bad medicine

Bad medicine is what I need

Shake it up, just like bad medicine

There ain't no doctor that can cure my desease

Bad, bad medicine

I don't need no needle to be giving me a thrill

And I don't need no anesthesia or a nurse to bring a pill

I got a dirty down addiction, it doesn't leave a track

I got a jones for your affection like a monkey on my back

There ain't no paramedic gonna save this heart attack

When you need

That's what you get for falling in love

Then you bleed

You get a little but it's never enough

On your knees

That's what you get for falling in love

Now this boy's addicted and your kiss is the drug

Your love is like bad medicine

Bad medicine is what I need

Shake it up, just like bad medicine

So let's play doctor, baby cure my desease

Bad, bad medicine

I need a respirator 'cause I'm running out of breath

You're an all night generator wrapped in stockings and a dress

When you find your medicine you take what you can get

Cause if there's something better baby well, they haven't found it yet

Your love is like bad medicine

Bad medicine is what I need

Shake it up, just like bad medicine

There ain't no doctor that can cure my desease

Your love is like bad medicine

Bad medicine is what I need

Shake it up, just like bad medicine

Your love's the potion that can cure my desease

Bad, bad medicine

The song fades away, and is replaces by uproarus applause from the crowd, obviously moved by that stirring redition of Bon Jovi's "Bad Medicine", as we fade away to the card...

December 9, 2002

Card:

SINGLES MATCH

"Mountain" Mike Moran vs. C4

Mike Moran was supposed to make his debut on Metal, but he and Blank failed to arrive at the arena. However, JLCC is nothing if not benevolant (probably spelled wrong, and definitely not true), so they're giving Moran another chance. However, instead of getting an easy W over the guy who hasn't been active for months, he'll have to square off against the JL's newest addition, C4. Despite fostering memories of Munich's C4 Crunch, the JL has high hopes for C4. Will he show us how it's done, or will the entire thing explode (I'm WAY too amused by that kind of joke) against the Mountain?

Rules: Standard singles match. DQ/countout are in effect.

WILDWEAPONS MATCH

WildChild vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins

Wildchild had the show off, and Spike didn't. However, these two have one thing in common: Neither of them wrestled. Spike has been drawing a lot of criticism from JLCC, and needs a win to turn things around. Meanwhile, WildChild is looking to climb back into the title picture. Will WildChild pick up a badly-needed win? Will Spike win his first match in a while? Will Spike write anything at all? We'll see.

Rules: Due to Spike not showing for his Fight Club match, this match is a no-DQ match....for WildChild. He is allowed to use whatever he pleases, and CANNOT be DQ'ed. However, if Spike breaks ANY rules whatsoever, he will be DQ'ed.[/b]

FISHERMAN'S WHARF BRAWL

Janus vs. Dace Night vs. Arianwyn Rivenstone vs. Jack the Ripper

Janus came out on top against Arianwyn Rivenstone and Insane Luchadore on Metal, winning the #1 Contendership to the Ejiropean Title. He'll get his title match on Crimson, however, as Ejiro has other commitments tonight. His opponents: Dace Night, who narrowly lost to Johnny on Crimson for the World Title, and narrowly lost to Ejiro on Metal for the Ejiropean Title. Can he right the ship against Janus and the recently returned Jack the Ripper, who is looking to taste European gold again? And how will Arianwyn, who was in the match where Janus won the #1 Contendership, react to her loss? These four should have a brutal battle. However, in an attempt to weaken the big man before his Ejiropean Title match, the M7 pulled some strings, and booked this match to take place on Fisherman's Wharf. What's gonna happen when these three get set loose in downtown San Francisco? Only they know...

Rules: This match will be a street fight, taking place on Fisherman's Wharf. The fight will start next to Johnny's Famous Fish booth on the pier. However, the fight can go anywhere in San Francisco. One can only win by PINFALL, no submissions, DQ's, etc.

SINGLES MATCH

Insane Luchadore vs. Matt Myers

These two men both come off hard losses on Metal. Myers lost to Fugue in his #1 Contendership for the World Title match, and then got destroyed after the match when Fugue refused to release his submission. Meanwhile, IL was dominated by the gigantic Janus, who stole the #1 Contendership for the Ejiropean Title away from IL. Now, these two men go against each other in an attempt to regain some momentum, and position themselves for another shot at SJL gold. A win here would be a good start towards that elusive next shot.

Rules: Standard singles match. DQ/countout are in effect.

MAIN EVENT

HANDICAP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous© vs. Ejiro Fasaki/Fugue

Fugue defeated Matt Myers on Metal, making himself the #1 Contender for Johnny's SJL World Title. However, Fasaki and Fugue crashed Johnny's victory party earlier in the night, laying a beating on the new champ. The enraged Dangerous challenged Ejiro and Fugue himself, despite his earlier beating. Fugue, although eager to get his title shot, decided to soften up Dangerous even more before their upcoming singles match. Will Johnny be in way over his head, or will he continue the surprising streak of WF'ers and JL'ers who ALWAYS seem to triumph in handicap matches? We'll find out on Wrath!

Rules: Ejiro and Fugue must tag in and out. DQ and countout are in effect.

December 9, 2002

***BOOM***

“Welcome all, to SJL WRATH!” Axis’s voice rings out.

”Hoo boy!” King bellows in an upbeat tone, with the tinge of sadism that’s nearly always intact. “We’ve got quite the card lined up tonight, but we don’t have time to explain it, because of word limits! Uh, I mean, time restrictions! So, let’s get right down to it, as we head right towards the opening bout, which pits new-comers ‘C4’ and ‘Mountain’ Mike Moran up against each other in a singles match! Ah, I remember when I was just starting out Axis. Good times of course, but that was BEFORE I became SWF Champion, therefore putting myself above you.”

“Ah yes, sad isn’t it how you’ve been reduced to a ranting, raving moron who spends his time beating up Girl Scouts for cookies.”

“…Dude, shut up.”

“Well, Funyon is in the ring, and that’s our cue to hand the mic over to him, and prepare for our opening match, as ‘n00biez’ collide!”

Funyon stands at the midpoint of the ring, robed in a classy one-piece tuxedo. He acquires a microphone from a nearby ring attendant, and holds it up to his lips, ready to make the introductions. “Ladies and gentlemen, and those rare few who don’t quite fit into either category, welcome, to SJL WRATH!!”

The crowd lets out a loud roar of cheers, but is cut off in mid-mark-out-moment as the opening riff of “War Pigs” by Black Sabbath explodes from the loudspeakers! The cheers instantaneously switch to boos, as the heavy yet steady strumming of a guitar sets in, and “Mountain” Mike Moran emerges from the backstage area, stepping out onto the ramp. A minor “ASSHOLE” chant initiates, but most of the arena is rather silent, amazed at the sight of the new edition to the JL roster.

“Holy cow, look at that guy!” King shouts, apparently liking what he sees. “He’s like… cooler than Thor!”

“Or Logan!”

“Yes, him too… but either way, it’s painfully apparent that Moran is 319 pounds of pain!” King raves with sadistic glee.

Moran nears the ring, but spots one particularly rude child, who is sticking out his tongue at the giant. Moran smiles with the tenderness of a shopping-mall Santa Claus… and then spits at the child, causing him to quickly withdraw in disgust! Moran grins with sadistic satisfaction, and then continues on his long, slow walk to the ring, until he comes across the apron. The mountain of a man marches alongside the squared circle towards the ring steps located near the corner, and in an act that hasn’t been committed in years… USES THEM TO ENTER THE RING. He steps through the ring ropes, and with a scowl on his face, orders for his music to be cut off, wanting to get right down to business.

Funyon, looking up and gulping at the towering Mountain, quickly rushes through Mike’s stats; voice shaking the entire time. “This contest is a singles match, scheduled for one fall! DQ and all of that other good stuff is IN EFFECT! Introducing first, standing in the ring now… weighing in at 319 pounds and hailing from Battle Creek, Michigan… MIKE MORAN!”

“Say… how do the fans even know how to boo Mike? I mean, he just joined the fed,” Axis speculates.

“Well, I have no clue really, but I do know that I’m starting to like this guy!”

“Yes, well, we’re yet to see his adversary, who apparently is…”

As if on cue, the opening beats of “Bad Habit” by Offspring sound from the PA system, drawing the crowd’s attention away from the ring, and towards the entrance ramp once again. Half of the crowd boos, and the other half cheer simply out of spite for Moran, as the mysterious figure of C4 sulks out onto the entrance ramp, his entire head shrouded in a jet-black mask. The Offspring tune continues to blare as C4 quickly paces down to the ring, and slides under the bottom rope, into the ring. C4 hops to his feet and begins meandering back and forth, occasionally testing the ring ropes. His eyes, however, remain still and intensive, dead-set on Mike, who grins smugly back at him, all while Funyon wraps up his announcement…

“And his opponent, weighing in at 252 pounds, hailing from parts unknown… CEEEEEEE-FOUR!!!” Funyon bellows, before darting out of the ring before the clash of the titans begins. The referee quickly goes over the rules of the match, but it’s clear that neither opponent is paying attention, as both of them glare into eachother’s eyes with aggression, C4 a bit more contained, while Mike appears to be jumping out of his shoes in anticipation to take out his opponent.

DINGDINGDING

“And this match is on!” Axis observes.

The two large competitors gape holes through eachother for a moment, and then suddenly, C4 breaks up the staredown and launches himself at the Mountain with a hard-driven shoulder block! Mike falters back a bit, struggling to keep his balance with the force of 252 pounds going against him, but keeps his cool, shrugging off the maneuver, and retaliating with a cocky smirk. C4 doesn’t appear worried at all, his eyes still locked with the Mountain’s… when suddenly Mike lashes out with a stiff right hand!… and links that to a second!… and links that to a third! A fourth! A fifth!

“Moran is bringing it right to C4 with a punching combination which he finishes off with a BIG clothesline!”

“C4 fell like a sack of wet mice! That weakling!”

“Well, Mike’s arm is as thick as a lamppost, what exactly did you EXPECT C4 to do?”

C4 lies on the ground for a moment, dazed from the blow, but snaps back into reality, and spins up to his feet, only to be met with a second clothesline! C4 stares up at the lights for a few seconds longer this time, but again spins to his feet! Mike goes for a third and final clothesline, but C4 is thinking clearly this time around, and ducks it, runs against the opposite ropes, and comes back with a running big boot! Mike sees it coming, but his speed isn’t his best quality, and he only half dodges the maneuver, allowing C4’s boot sole to crater into the side of his jaw, almost dead on!

“Holy cow!” King says, his eyes wide with shock. “Did you see that!? Mike took a running big boot from C4, and barely staggered backwards!”

“Well, he didn’t take the full blow, but that’s quite a feat either way!” Axis states, also impressed.

C4 doesn’t even react to this total disrespect of his moveset, but Mike rubs it in anyway, literally shrugging his shoulders as if to ask “was that supposed to hurt?” He smirks once more, but with a slight glint of pain in his eye this time. C4, still intent on toppling the much more lofty grappler, thinks fast, and lets loose with a series of stiff forearms, each blow making a loud smacking noise as C4’s arm comes crashing across Mike’s face. When he thinks that his opponent is dazed enough, C4 rebounds back off of the ropes, and comes back with a…

“BIG POOOOOOOOOWERSLAM from Mountain gives him the advantage once again!” King shouts with glee as Moran lifts C4 up in his arms, and--

“BUT NO! C4 slides down the back of Moran, and comes off the opposite ropes with a… NUCLEAR MELTDOWN!!”

C4’s arm SMASHES across Mike’s face with a STIFF burning lariat, and he crumbles to the mat in a near unconscious state, allowing C4 to drop down on him instantly for the cover, making sure to hook the leg!

“No!! The impossible has happened, as C4 has floored Mike Moran with one of his best moves! Come on Mikey! No-sell!”

ONE!

TWO!

“…and Mike kicks out with authority!” King squeals.

“I don’t understand how the Mountain kicked out, but I guarantee that if C4 had hit that move later on, it would have gotten the pin for sure!”

Mike smiles and gruffly questions “That all you got!?” C4’s eyes squint with concern, but he quickly regains his concentration, and begins nailing a few hard double-axehandles into Moran’s back as he stands. Mike forges through C4’s offense though, and manages to cinch two arms around his midsection, heaving him up into the air for an instant, and then slamming him back down onto the mat with a vicious spinebuster! C4 grabs at the back of his head and rolls onto the belly, kicking the mat in pain, but Mike rolls him back onto his backside, and sets a single foot on his chest, smiling broadly at the booing fans.

ONE!

TW—NO!

C4 kicks out rather quickly, but Mike improvises, dropping a knee onto C4’s ribs, and then making the cover once more, this time falling to the mat with a lateral press.

ONE!

TWO!

C4 kicks out yet again with little trouble, and Mike immediately grabs a hold of his mask and begins towing C4 up to his feet.

“Notice how Mike didn’t hook the leg on either of those pin covers. I think that if he had been less cocky there, he’d have possible gotten the pin.”

Mike gets C4 up to his feet, nails a hard knee into his gut for good luck, and then hooks an arm between his legs, and another around his shoulder, lifting his up for…

“Great Scott, Mike seems to be going for a simple bodyslam here, but is taking his sweet time in hitting it…” Axis observes the Mountain, who stalls for a full five seconds before tossing C4 down to the mat. He refrains from covering this time though, and instead opts to simply point and laugh at the downed wrestler. Moran holds out his arms with pride and circles around in the ring so that every audience member can get a good look at the “best thing since sliced bread,” but this little ego-booster doesn’t last long, as C4 kips up to his feet, and dives at Moran with a spear, charging him directly into the corner! Mike wheezes, trying to catch a breath, but C4 simply rams into him a second time, and then finishes the combination off with a dropkick to Moran’s right knee! The 6’6 monster topples forward, landing on his chest right beside C4, who quickly gets up to his feet, stomps a few boots into the back of Mike’s calf, and then begins to ascend the turnbuckle! “Mike has been taken down to the mat, a place where a large man like himself really won’t fair well, and C4 is already halfway up the ring post!”

“Come on Moran! Get off your lazy BUTT and stunner his ass!” King encourages the fallen giant.

C4, now on the top turnbuckle pad, sets his sights on the seemingly unconscious behemoth below, and bends his knees a bit, lunging upwards…

“The Mountain was faking it Axis! He rolls out of the way JUST IN TIME!!!”

“Ohohohohoh… it’s Mike who has been tricked I’m afraid! C4 isn’t stupid, he knows his opponent like the back of his hand, and knew that Moran wouldn’t be conquered so easily!”

Indeed, just as our Aussie announcer mentioned, Mike Moran rolls out to the midpoint of the ring, safe from the surely explosive impact of C4, but in a Marvin the Martian “Where was the kaboom? There was SUPPOSED to be an Earth-shattering kaboom!” moment, dumbfoundedly gains his footing, only to find C4 still perched up on the top turnbuckle! C4’s mouth [the only part of his face that can be seen with the mask on] is the one that grins this time, and in one quick movement, he leaps off of the top turnbuckle, and propels both of his feet into the side of Mike’s head with a flying dropkick! Moran falls onto his side, grabbing at his noggin, and C4 scrambles over to his carcass, making the cover!

“Holy ****!” Axis shouts, astounded by the slightly smaller big man’s display of agility. “C4 just cleared half of the ring with little effort! I’ve never seen a man his size do that so easily!”

ONE!

TWO!

THR…

“Mike kicks out in the nick of time!” King shouts above the booing fans in the arena.

“Almost got the pin there… if C4 can just keep control in this matchup, I’m sure he’ll be able to pull out a win, but then again, to say is easier than to do.” Axis speculates.

C4 heaves a dazed Mike up to his feet, and with all of his might, latches onto his robust body with both of his arms, and begins to pull upwards, trying to get the Mountain up and over his head! C4’s muscles bulge, and his knees look ready to buckle, but he gives out a grunt, squints his eyes, and flips Mike over him with a T-Bo--… er, Exploder!! Moran lands head-first on the unforgiving mat, and lies limp on the canvas, barely able to move! But C4 knows that he’s not quite dead yet, and lifts him to his feet again, this time latching an arm over his neck, looking to hit a brainbuster!

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” C4 collects all of his energy, but only gets Mike a few inches from the mat.

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” a second try… and Mike is lifted up, one-foot, two-feet, three-feet… four-feet… but comes right back down, planting his feet into the mat, and then snapping C4 onto his back with a snap suplex! C4 skids an entire yard, coming to a stop at the edge of the ring! Mike once again puts on that ever-so cocky smile, casually standing to his feet, dusting off his hands, and strutting over to his adversary. Mike grabs C4 by his black t-shirt, hoists him up to his feet, and smashes his head into his opponent’s with a Headbutt! C4 staggers back against the ropes, but what with the head trauma and the like, Mike stumbles back himself, not able to capitalize.

“Ouch… bad move there by Mike. He should have known that smashing your head against something isn’t the best way to recover from a headache,” Axis points out.

“But C4 is still teetering on the ropes, and the Mountain has recovered! How will he capitilize? A hoss punch, a hoss kick, a hoss clothesline!? I’ll bet he feels like Silent in a whorehouse! So many choices!”

Mike hits a big punch to the forehead of C4, and then grabs him by the throat, tosses him into the corner, and begins choking away!

“…choking his opponent works too.”

The ref admonishes the big man, but Mike takes advantage of the five-count, clenching his hands across C4’s throat until four, and then finally releasing his winded opponent.

“Uh-oh…” Axis says, with a concerned tone in his voice. “Mike is walking over to the opposite corner of the ring… this could be a set-up for one of his finishers: AVALANCHE!”

“And C4 has been brutally battered by Mike’s power throughout this match!” King states. “He doesn’t look to be moving!”

Moran, now on the opposite side of the ring of the dazed C4, signals for his finishing maneuver by scraping his boot on the mat, like a raging bull preparing to charge. He takes a second however, to turn around to the fans, and confidently raise his arms up, predicting his own victory. He lets out a roar, and turns around to make the charge… when suddenly C4 comes revving out of his corner at full speed! The arena explodes with cheers as the Mountain’s eyes widen to the size of Carmen Electra’s boobs! He makes a minor attempt at stumbling out of the way, but he’s too slow, and his head trauma is taking its toll, allowing C4 to administer the full impact of a burning lariat!! A sickening thud sounds off just as his arm absolutely DEMOLISHES Mike’s face, and the Mountain collapses to the mat like a drunken mongoose, his eyes completely glazed over. His body only writhing in pain for an instant, and then goes completely still.

“NUCLEAR MELTDOWN!!! FOR THE SECOND TIME IN THIS MATCH, C4 CATCHES MORAN OFFGUARD WITH THE NUCLEAR MELTDOWN!!!” Axis marks out like a 12-year-old girl.

“No!” King sobs. “Damn you, Mike! Get UP!”

C4 falls to a single knee, still a bit dazed from the earlier punishment, but sucks it in just enough to fall over onto his larger opponent, hooking the leg just in case…

ONE!!!

TWO!!!!

THREEEEEEEE!!!

DINGDINGDING

Mike kicks out around what would have been five, but it’s much too late, as “Bad Habit” by Offspring starts up, and Funyon enters the ring to make the official announcement.

“The winner of this match as a result of a PINFALL… CEEEEEEEEEE-FOUR!!!!”

The crowd cheers mildly as C4 stands up, shaking his head to clear out the cobwebs. He doesn’t take much time to celebrate, but instead simply raises a single arm into the air, and quickly exits the ring, making his way back up the entrance ramp.

Mike meanwhile, simply shelters the back of his head with one of his arms, and pounds the mat in disappointment with the other.

“What an impact C4 has made here tonight!” Axis salutes the JL newcomer. “He knew what he was up against coming into this match. C4 was prepared, and C4 was concentrated, and THAT’s why he’s come out the winner, and has gained some respect from me.”

“Pfft. You go and give C4 all of the credit… well, I’ll tell you Axis, C4 may have won this match, but Mike Moran proved that he’s quite the wrestler as well. An excellent display of strength, some unbeatable stamina…”

“Yeah, I suppose Mike was pretty impressive too, but either way, we look forward to seeing both of these competitors excel here in the SJL. So, don’t TOUCH YOUR REMOTES, people, because we’ll be right back with MORE SJL WRATH!”

December 9, 2002

FADE IN

The capacity-filled Cow Palace is positively buzzing with electricity as 14,115 screaming fans simultaneously erupt into a living sea for the cameras, a virtual polyphony of motion and sound. Their consonance, however, quickly becomes an angry discord as the Palace quickly becomes overrun by the metallic strains of “King of Your Own World” by Smugface. The entrance ramp explodes with a bright gold pyrotechnic burst, and is followed by a thin cloud of white smoke, through which steps “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins. He stands at the head of the entrance ramp, just inside the boundary of the smoke cloud, and breathes deeply, sucking the smoke in through his mouth and out his nose in a singular motion. As he steps clear of the smoke, the crowd in the Cow Palace begins to boo him even louder as they realize for the first time that he is wearing a Dallas Cowboys football jersey.

Inside the ring, Funyon lifts the microphone to his face as Jenkins begins to make his way towards the ring. “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, from Los Angeles, California (the very mention of which elicits even more heel heat), weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds, ‘Hollywood’ Spiiiiike Jenkins!” “Can you believe the nerve of this guy,” blurts Axis. “What in the world was he thinking coming out here in a Cowboys jersey?”

“It seems pretty obvious to me what he was thinking,” replies Suicide King, as Jenkins poses on the ring apron, “he was thinking that he wanted to give the fans here in San Francisco the chance to fully appreciate the ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins Experience™! Personally, I think it was pretty generous of him.”

“You would,” snorts Axis. “I take it you’re rooting for Spike to win this one?”

“That just goes to show what you know; as a favor to our beloved Ejiropean Champion, I am going to watch this match hoping to see some signs that Wildchild is ready to beg Ejiro for his forgiveness, and take the first steps towards becoming a real wrestler. I’m hoping that while Wildchild was laid up in the hospital he came to realize that what Ejiro did to him was for his own good. I’m hoping that he comes out to this ring a new man… and, oh yeah; I’m hoping I’ll finally see him actually wear a pair of shoes! On second thought, I may be reaching too high on that last one. But, oh well, one step at a time…”

Jenkins steps inside the ring and fiercely snatches the microphone away from Funyon. “This stinks,” he screams. “This is total BS! What’s the idea of the Powers that Be booking me in this match? A match in which my opponent, the Wildchild…” Spike is briefly interrupted as the crowd erupts at the mention of Wildchild’s name. “Where my opponent gets to use weapons against me?” The crowd interrupts Spike again to cheer at this most recent news. Spike’s countenance screws into a scowl. “This is a conspiracy, that’s what it is! A C-O-N… Spiracy! Those idiots in the back will stop at nothing to keep me from the championships and accolades that I deserve!”

Spike goes on, “and what’s the deal with this Wildchild guy, anyway? Didn’t he just get out of the hospital?” Spike breaks into a smirk as the crowd boos heavily. The TV audience can hear Suicide King snickering. “Well Wildchild, I don’t have a scaffold to through you off, and since, unlike you, I can’t use weapons in this match, I guess I’ll just have to beat you the old-fashioned way. So get your Caribbean ass down here, and bow down before the King… Of the WORLD!”

No sooner than Jenkins stops speaking, than the speakers in the Cow Palace come alive with “The Everlasting Gaze” by Smashing Pumpkins. Funyon recovers his microphone from Spike as Wildchild begins streaking towards the ring. “And his opponent, from the Bahamas, weighing in at two—”

WHACK!

Funyon fails to complete his sentence, and escapes out of the ring just as Wildchild quickly slides into the ring, springing to his feet and hurling himself at Jenkins, blasting him in the face with a flying forearm! He pounces on the fallen Jenkins with a fierce snarl, unleashing a flurry of right hands upon his opponent’s skull. He then picked him up to a standing position, whipping him to the far ropes and then running behind him, leaping into the air before Jenkins even has the opportunity to hit the ropes, and knocking them both over the top rope with a cross body block. Wildchild, overflowing with adrenaline, recovers quickly and grabs Spike’s head, lifting him off the ground by the ears, and bashing his head repeatedly into the ringside barricade.

BAM!

Eventually, Wildchild relents from this assault, and walks over to the ring, reaching underneath the apron and pulling out a garbage can and lid, to the delight of the crowd.

WHACK!

Wildchild grabs the garbage can with both hands and raises it above his head, hammering Jenkins on the back of the head with reckless abandon. “What’s gotten into the Wildchild,” wonders Axis. “He hasn’t been this aggressive since his match with Manson.” “Looks like misplaced anger to me,” remarks the King. “He knows he can’t beat Ejiro, so he’s taking it out on poor Spike.”

Wildchild picks Spike up off the ground, and slides the garbage can lid inside the ring. He then leads Spike over to the far edge of the barricade, lifting him into the air in a suplex position, and dropping him chest-first across the barricade. “That was almost like a slingshot suplex,” notes Axis. “Yeah,” replies the King, “except he left out the suplex!”

Wildchild slides back into the ring and springs to his feet, scooping up the garbage can lid and dashing towards the opposite corner at a dead run, leaping to the to turnbuckle and raises the lid above his head, howling wildly at the crowd, who enthusiastically howl back. He then turns to face Spike, who is trying to pick himself up off the barricade. He then unleashes another howl before sprinting across the top rope, leaping off as he reaches the turnbuckle and diving out of the ring with the lid outstretched in front of him.

WHACK!

“Oh my Gawd,” screams Axis. “Andros Dive! Andros Dive with the trash can lid! He tried to take his head off!”

Suicide King shakes his head in disappointment. “Such a waste. I can’t understand why Ejiro has invested so much of his valuable time trying to save this for excuse for a human being from himself.”

Axis stares at the King open-mouthed as Wildchild drags Spike back over the barricade. “You CAN-not be serious! Just because Wildchild doesn’t fit the mold of what you and Ejiro think a wrestler should be, doesn’t mean he’s a poor excuse for a human being!”

The King shakes his head again as Wildchild rolls his opponent back into the ring. “You haven’t listened to anything that Ejiro has said, have you? Everything he does in that ring makes a mockery of the sport of professional wrestling! He’s dangerously flamboyant, he takes stupid risks, and he doesn’t even… ahh, look at that! And now he’s going bring a table into the ring! Hasn’t he spit on this business enough?”

Rather than setting the table up right away, Wildchild instead opts to run over to the corner near Spike, and leaps onto the top rope as Jenkins rolls onto his stomach. Before he can leap off to attack, however, Spike lunges at the turnbuckle, knocking Wildchild off his perch and crotching him on the turnbuckle. Jenkins grabs Wildchild by the hair and yanks him down, tying him up in the Tree of Woe. He then begins to stomp mercilessly at his chest, relenting only when the referee threatens to disqualify him.

“Now this is a blatant double standard,” exclaims the King. “Why is it that Wildchild can get away with murder, but Spike Jenkins can’t even legally stomp his stinking guts out?”

“King, Wildchild didn’t book this match,” admonishes Axis as Spike backs away towards the opposite corner. “Don’t hate on him; he’s following the rules in this match.” Spike rushes towards Wildchild with an attempted baseball slide to the face, but Wildchild lifts himself back to a sitting position on the turnbuckle and Spike slides harmlessly out of the ring. Spike accidentally stumbles over his own feet outside the ring, and his disorientation gives Wildchild the opportunity to leap off the turnbuckle with a twisting cross body block!

BONG!

Wildchild grabs Spike’s left arm and whips him harshly into the ringpost, and his head is violently mashed against the unforgiving solid steel column, the sound of which echoes loudly throughout the arena. Wildchild rolls Spike back into the ring and slides in after him, setting the table up on the mat near the far corner. He then walks back over to Spike and picks him up off the mat, hooking him with a front facelock and lifting him off the mat in a suplex position, spinning about 270 degrees and dropping him back-first onto the canvas.

“Beautiful corkscrew suplex by the Wildchild,” notes Axis, “And he’s back on his feet… and there’s the sign for the Wild Ride! King, he’s pointing to, you don’t think he’d try to…”

“What? Hit the Wild Ride on top of the table? Yes I do think he’d try it,” barks the King. “He’s got no respect for this business, or his opponents! He’s already crippled Tim Dillon, and he tried to cripple Ejiro,” snaps the King, as Wildchild rolls Spike onto the table. “Now, he’s going to try and cripple Spike Jenkins!”

Wildchild climbs onto the table and pulls Spike to his feet, punching him in his stomach to double him over, and standing in front of him, reaching back to grab both of his arms. Spike, however, still has enough presence of mind to break free of Wildchild’s grip, and pushes him forward off the table.

WHACK!

Wildchild stumbles off the table and falls into the ropes, clotheslining himself on the top rope. Spike takes advantage of the opportunity by reaching around Wildchild’s throat to secure him in an inverted front facelock, and then dives off the table, driving Wildchild into the canvas with a falling reverse DDT! “I love it,” crows the King. “Spike uses the table against him, and the referee can’t even disqualify him!” Spike lay on top of Wildchild, and the referee counts the pinfall:

ONE!

TWO!

THR—“No,” screams Axis. “Kickout at two and a half!”

Spike rolls Wildchild onto the table and begins hammering him with forearms, before climbing onto the top turnbuckle. Referee Matthew Kivell runs over to Spike and warns him that if he dives off the table, he’ll be disqualified. “Take it easy, Spike,” warns the King, as Jenkins shrugs the referee away, coming dangerously close to striking him, and momentarily loses his balance. The brief respite gives Wildchild just enough time to recover and roll off the table, diving towards the corner and clipping Spike at the ankle, crotching Spike as he had been earlier.

“That’s what makes Wildchild so dangerous,” says Axis. “You can’t give this guy an inch! Hesitate for even a second, and he can come out of nowhere!” Wildchild leaps onto the top rope, and springs onto Spike’s shoulders, scissoring his legs around his head and arching back.

CRUNCH!

“Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit,” screams the crowd.

“OH MY GAWD! OH MY GAWD,” screams Axis. “Did you see that? He just drove Spike headfirst through the table with a reverse Dragonsteiner from the top rope! OH MY GAWD!” Wildchild uses the turnbuckle to pull himself back to his feet, and then raises his arms above his head, grabbing two handfuls of air and pulling them close to his chest in the now familiar motion. Wildchild picks Spike up as the referee kicks the table remnants out of the way. The audience erupts as Wildchild spins around and stands up with Spike draped over his shoulders.

WHAM!

”Wild Ride,” exclaims Axis. “Wild Ride, Bah Gawd!” Wildchild rolls on top of Spike with a lateral press as the referee counts the pinfall:

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

“The Everlasting Gaze” erupts throughout the Cow Palace, Matthew Kivell signals to the timekeeper to ring the bell, and the crowd explodes as Funyon speaks into the microphone, “here is your winner, the Wiiiiildchiiiiild!” Wildchild walks over to the ropes and gestured to Funyon for the microphone. “Looks like Wildchild has something to say,” notes Axis.

“Fasaki,” screams Wildchild as his music abruptly cuts out, “Dis t’ing between ain’t over, not by a long shot. You wan’ to rob me of my individuality! You wan’ t’make me wress’le your way! You even went as far as to throw me off de’ scaffold to get your way. But you made a mistake, Fasaki: you left me alive!

“I will NOT be broken, and I will not res’ until I take dat belt from you. You’re a marked man, Fasaki! You better look over your shoulder, ‘cause I’m comin’ for you!” Wildchild drops the microphone to the mat and exits the ring as his music starts back up.

As we:

FADE OUT

December 9, 2002

Wrath's cameras open up on Fisherman's Wharf, where referee Matthew Kivell and interviewer Ben Hardy are both standing. In the background, one can see Johnny's Famous Fish booth, where the fight is scheduled to begin, yet none of the superstars appear to have arrived. In the arena, Axis and the Suicide King look at each other.

Suicide King: "Axis, it IS time for the Fisherman's Wharf brawl, right?"

Axis checks his notes and nods his head.

Axis: "The card says it's time...maybe they went looking for each other..."

On the Smarktron, Kivell just shrugs his shoulders when Hardy asks him where the superstars are. Then the referee blinks and darts past the camera, which spins around almost dizzyingly before focusing on where Kivell is running. For out on one of the piers, the seven-foot Janus has found one of his opponents, the only one to be his near equal - Dace Night. The twosome are exchanging hard punches, and Dace wins the first exchange, slamming a boot into the giant's gut and snapping him to the ground with a DDT into the wooden pier.

Axis: "Ow! DDT into the pier! That has to hurt!"

Suicide King: "Everything's gonna hurt in this match! And I can't wait for Jack and Arianwyn to get involved...one of them will surely win the match!"

Axis: "Janus beat Arianwyn before..."

As if the two announcers muttering about her summoned her presence, Arianwyn races into the camera's field of view and drops to one knee as Dace starts lifting Janus up, and she drills Both of the big men with a low blow, making Janus fall to the ground and Dace double over. She then leaps up, and rotates her body, drilling Dace's head down into the wooden pier with a jump-swinging DDT that makes the whole pier shudder with its impact. She then strides over to Janus, but before she can capitalise on anything, a cane-shot to her spine knocks her down, as the last wrestler of the match steps into the camera's field of view.

Axis: "And there's Jack the Ripper! All four of our stars are now present!"

Suicide King: "Ahahaaha.... and Jack's the only one standing right now!'

Axis: "That could change very shortly...."

Both Dace and Janus sit up, blood trickling from their foreheads where they hit the pier, and start getting to their feet. Jack lashes out with his cane, but Janus catches it, wincing only slightly at the impact, and yanks it from the Ripper's grip, throwing it aside into the water beside the pier. Dace then takes the advantage, flooring Jack with a nasty looking lariat as Janus turns around, and stares down at the rising Arianwyn. Dragging her to her feet, he hoists her up above his head in a gorilla press and takes three steps, before slamming her down onto the top of a metal crate on the wharf, making her arch her back and cry out in pain. Showing tremendous resiliency, she reaches up and locks her hands around Janus' throat as the giant leans in to pick her up.

Dace, meanwhile, has the Ripper under control, delivering a huge Irish whip into a lamppost that sends the Ripper reeling, holding his head. Standing directly behind the Ripper, Dace wraps his arms around the cruiser's waist in preparation for a german suplex. Before Dace can execute the move, the Ripper drives a backhand into his face, making him stumble. The smaller man turns around and leaps towards Dace, hooking his head and rotating around for a tornado DDT. Dace doesn't fall, however - he catches the Ripper in a sort of one-armed bearhug, almost in the Rock Bottom position, halting the DDT - and then dropping, using that one arm to slam Jack down onto his knee in a backbreaker.

Axis: "FAITHLESS! FAITHLESS!"

Suicide King: "It's too early! No way will he get a three count!"

Dace rolls over Jack, hooking a leg.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE...

Jack manages to thrust an arm up, barely, and as Dace starts climbing to his feet, he tumbles forward as Janus' big boot connects with the back of his head. The giant hoists Dace up, and delivers a thunderous chop to his chest - that Dace returns with equal power. Focused on each other, neither notice Arianwyn drag the body of the Ripper to its feet, and then whip him so he goes running halfway down the wharf, _away_ from the two bigger men, with Arianwyn in hot pursuit. Jack manages to put on the brakes and turn around before he runs into a stack of crates, but Arianwyn has already caught up with him, and viciously starts laying the forearms and elbows into Jack's face. The Ripper fights back with a chop to Arianwyn's neck, and then sidesteps and drops her to the ground with a DDTR, her cry of pain making Axis and the audience wince as he grinds her face into the concrete.

Axis: "That's just sickening!"

Suicide King: "Yeah, two heels fighting each other.... it really is sickening..."

Axis: "I was talking about the face-grinding, King."

This time around, Janus wins the chop-fest between himself and Dace, and locks his meaty arms around the six-footer's waist, squeezing hard before dropping his opponent right onto his knee, jarring the tailbone badly. The green-eyed giant spots Arianwyn and Jack, and like a train slowly building steam, he starts to run in their direction, slowly gaining momentum. Dace drags himself up, sees Janus running, and rubs his lower back before taking off - the two bigger man charging in the direction of the smaller twosome in the fight.

Jack spots Janus coming and quickly ducks out of the way, and the giant's attempted Gore meets nothing but wooden crate, which shatters apart as he drives his shoulder and head into it, momentarily trapping himself. Arianwyn, her face bloodied, climbed on the crate, and then executed an off-the-crate springboard legdrop, that drove right into the trapped giant's spine. She hits the ground just in time for a roaring yakuza kick from Dace to send her crashing back into the wooden crates. Dace himself was not the last man standing, as Jack sneaks around behind him and drags the six-footer down with a HHH-style neckbreaker! The back of Dace's head snaps into the ground as the Ripper gets back to his feet.

Axis: "My god, look at this! They're not even off the wharf and the carnage is getting nasty!"

Suicide King: "Bwahahahha! Nastiness is good! Look!"

Janus drags himself out of the battered remnants of the crate he Gored, face a crimson mask and his shoulder bloody from wood shards slashing his skin. Without a word, he grabs Jack from behind, the Ripper struggling as Janus hooks him in a full nelson, gritting his teeth against the pain in his shoulder, and lifts Jack up, up.... and slams him rear-end first into the concrete with a full nelson drop. The Ripper cries out, rolling away and clutching at his lower back, as Janus grits his teeth and sucks up the pain. Turning his head towards the wooden crates, he fails to notice a distinct _lack_ of Arianwyn - seeing no problem, he kicks the Ripper onto his back and drops down. He grabs the Ripper by the leg and hooks it, as he lies across the smaller man's chest.

ONE!!

TW...

The count doesn't even reach two before Arianwyn throws herself onto Janus' back, locking on a sleeper hold and trying to lock her legs around Janus' waist. The giant shakes his head, trying to stand as the female superstar manages to Just get her legs locked in. She laughs as Janus growls, trying to shake her off as he drops to his knees, starting to fade as the Deathgrip is cinched in.

Axis: "The Deathgrip! But submissions don't count in this match!"

Suicide King: "Haha! It's easier to pin someone when they're out cold!"

Janus is just about to pass out, it appears, when Dace rises up behind him, and wraps his arms around Arianwyn's waist. She shakes her head and clings to Janus, and Dace grits his teeth, and heaves - and lifts not only Arianwyn, but also Janus up... and over in a german suplex! Janus' bigger mass sandwiches Arianwyn's upper body, neck and head into the concrete, and she lets go of the Deathgrip, eyes glazed. Dace drags Janus back to his feet, but the giant drives his knee into Dace's stomach, then hoists the other man up onto his shoulders, teeth visibly gritted at the pain in his lacerated shoulder - before he can smash Dace into the ground with a DVD, he spots Jack crawling over the battered Arianwyn and making the cover.

ONE!

TWO!

THR...!

Janus hoists Dace up in a gorilla press, and throws him down - Jack rolls aside, and Dace crashes into Arianwyn and bounces off - the female superstar gasps and rolls over in pain, showing that the german suplex didn't kill her, but nevertheless it at the very least had given her a concussion. Jack rises to his feet and full height, staring up at the difference in inches between his and Janus' height. The giant grabs Jack and attempts an Irish whip - but Jack delivers a chop to Janus' lacerated shoulder and reverses it, sending the giant past the crates and into the wall of one of the wharf buildings. The giant turns around just as Jack spears him back into the wall.

Axis: "Ow! Spear into the wall! It looks like Jack and Janus may be the only two standing!"

Suicide King: "Arianwyn! Is she okay!? Come on, show us her and Dace!"

Axis: "You're awfully concerned for her, King."

Suicide King: "Of course, she's a heel!"

Jack hooks Janus' head for a DDTR, but the giant jams an elbow into Jack's side, then lifts the Ripper up in his arms and runs along the wharf - the running giant seems immune to all the blows Jack rains upon him - until he exits the wharf area and stampedes out into the street, crashing Jack into the side of a parked car. The giant then drops to his knees, clutching the lacerated shoulder he used to deliver the Gore. Jack crumples to the ground, twitching and holding his chest.

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

Axis: "Jesus! He just lifted the Ripper and ran, finally crushing him into the side of a car!"

Suicide King: "And neither of them can capitalise! Janus is holding his shoulder, and the Ripper looks like he may have busted a rib!"

Kivell, who had been following the match to the best of his refereeing ability, checks up on Janus and the Ripper, both of whom ignore him and tend to their damaged bodies, all ready to go back at it when they can. Finally, Kivell turns his attention back to the wharf area where Dace and Arianwyn were last spotted....

...And sees Dace with a pin on Arianwyn! He races over and slides into a position to see Arianwyn's shoulders.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE...

Somehow, dredging up whatever strength she has, Arianwyn kicks out. Dace raises his eyebrows, and hooks a leg again.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE...

Arianwyn kicks out again, the glazed look in her eyes slowly beginning to fade away. Dace drags her to her feet, but before he can do anything, Arianwyn rakes his eyes, and then for effect kicks Dace below the belt, making the larger superstar double over in pain. She then grabs his head, and drops, nailing Dace with a jawbreaker. Capitalising despite the punishment her body's been through, she jumps up and sits on Dace's shoulders, and brings him down with a spinning hurricanrana, hooking a leg.

ONE!

TWO!

T...

Before Kivell can put his hand down for the three, Dace powers out of the move, and starts getting up. Arianwyn staggers woozily to her feet, and springs at Dace again - this time flipping over him and going for a sunset flip. Dace struggles and balances - and Arianwyn pulls out of the way before he attempts to sit on her - jarring his tailbone when he hits nothing but concrete. He gets back up, and Arianwyn springs up for another hurricanrana....

...And gets smashed straight into the concrete as Dace flattens her with a powerbomb!

Suicide King: "Nooooooooo!"

Arianwyn stiffens as she hits the pavement, and then crumples over. Before Dace can go for a pin, however, he sees Kivell is not present - and turns his head to see the referee is hurrying towards where Janus and Jack were last seen. Rising and leaving Arianwyn crumpled on the pavement, Dace follows Kivell to find the Ripper and the Anti-Heel Machine on their feet, exchanging blows. Janus hoists the Ripper up for a standard suplex, but the Ripper stalls the move by flailing about, sending shocks of pain through the giant's shoulder. Jack then flips it back down into a VDDT, but Janus uses his sheer body strength to prevent being slammed, ending up in a front face lock...

...At least until Dace grabs his head as well and he and the Ripper spike the giant's head into the concrete with a double DDT. Janus rolls over, covering his face with his hands, trying to clear the blood and pain from his face and head as a whole.

Axis: "Janus' face is a bloody crimson mask! I think they busted him wide open with that double DDT!"

Suicide King: "Excellent! The more damage that's done to him now, the less damage Ejiro will have to do to put him down!"

Axis: "Arianwyn's out of the game for now, having being left on the wharf after that nasty powerbomb - I think someone's calling in the EMTs to check on her. Janus is still alive, at least...but.... OH MY GOD!"

The exclamation of the Australian is well founded, as Dace wins a war of 'whooooo' chops with the Ripper, and then picks him up - to hurl him through the front window of a restaurant! The sound of shattering glass and the blood visible when the Ripper hits the ground shows that he didn't come through it unscathed - and Dace climbs through the window after him, as the patrons of the restaurant back away from the twosome. Jack gets back to his feet as Dace comes towards him, and hooks the larger man's arm and flips him over with an arm drag, smacking Dace's spine across one of the tables and making him bounce to the floor. Dace clutches his back before starting to get back up - before he can get fully to his feet, Jack drives a stiff kick into the other man's back, making him arch in pain...

...And hooks his head, locking in a dragon sleeper! Dace arghs at the submission hold, and reaches up with his arms, inadvertently raking the Ripper's eyes and forcing the hold to be released. As the Ripper shakes his head, Dace hooks him up and hoists him up for a vertical suplex.

Axis: "Dace is going to Sentence the Ripper! This is going to hurt!"

Suicide King: "Nonsense! Watch! Jack'll get out of it!"

Dace tries to bring Jack down for the stunner portion of the Sentenced, but the other man slides down his back and hits the floor. Before the Ripper can capitalise upon his escape, two great arms hook him in a full nelson, and Janus flips him over, crashing the Ripper into the ground with a full nelson suplex - he doesn't bridge due to Dace's presence, and gets back up as Dace turns around.

The staredown is rather eerie. Grey/red eyes in a face with blood trickling from its forehead meet piercing green in a face covered with blood as Dace and Janus stare at each other for a long moment. Then the giant slugs Dace hard with a huge fist, and the six-footer replies with a punch of his own - the two exchanging blows as Janus presses Dace backwards into the restaurant. Janus drives a boot into Dace's stomach and hooks his head, preparing to elevate him for an implant DDT, when Dace's arms find and apply pressure to the giant's bloodied shoulder, making Janus argh and release the hold.

Axis: "Janus flattens the Ripper with a full nelson suplex, and then he and Dace go to war with punching! But it looks like the set-up for the implant DDT has failed.... that shoulder he blasted into the crate at the start of the match is proving to be a real weak point!"

Suicide King: "Whatever makes the giant weaker! Hell, I don't care who wins this match, as long as it isn't him!"

Dace shows no mercy, grabbing the three hundred and fifty pound Janus in a modified bearhug, and then, showing tremendous strength, he LIFTS the giant off his feet, turns him over, and crashes Janus' bloody shoulder into the six-footer's raised knee in a shoulder breaker, making Janus audibly yell in pain before rolling away across the floor. Not giving the giant a chance to recover, Dace steps over and hoists Janus up, shifting him into a powerbomb position - that Janus counters with an immense back body drop that sends Dace crashing into another table. Janus turns around, looking for Jack, but the smaller man is not to be found....

...At least until Jack blasts Janus in the back of the skull with a plate, shattering the piece of crockery. The giant staggers, and Jack makes to repeat the blow, but Janus sidesteps and the plate smashes into Dace's face - in retaliation, Jack finds himself on the receiving end of a painful lariat that flips him for a loop, and the six footer picks him back up as Janus moves around to Jack's other side.

There's a moment of silence.

Then Dace hoists Jack up into the powerbomb position, Janus lifting his arms to give the Ripper that little bit of extra elevation, before the duo slam their opponent down with a monsterous double-teaming powerbomb! Jack twitches on the ground, and slowly rolls away as Janus and Dace lock eyes again. Janus moves his head to look past Dace and stares in surprise.... as Arianwyn climbs through the window, looking battered, weary, and VERY pissed off.

Axis: "Oh MY GOD! It's Arianwyn! We thought she got laid out by that powerbomb!"

Suicide King: "A heel?? A HARDCORE heel, getting laid out by a powerbomb? Don't be ridiculous, Axis!"

Axis: "The question is now, King, who's going to attack who?"

Janus steps past Dace and stalks towards Arianwyn, who's halfway over the large windowsill when he reaches her. She drives an elbow into his stomach, delivers a low blow for good measure, and then leaps off the sill, flipping Janus over with a sunset flip! The battered giant goes down as Kivell, trying to avoid all the danger, slides down to make the count.

ONE!

TWO!

TH...

Janus doesn't even need to kick out as Dace comes over, lifting Arianwyn up. She gets out of any early punishment by raking his eyes, and then leaping up onto a table and jumping off to smash Dace into the ground with a tornado DDT! She looks around at the carnage and spots the Ripper still trying to recover from the powerbomb - and climbs onto a second table to execute what probably would have been a springboard legdrop in a normal match. She hits it and covers Jack's body.

ONE!

TWO!

THREEE...

Kivell looks carefully at Jack's shoulders, then at the arm thrusting into the air - and shakes his head. Arianwyn stares, and then gets off the Ripper and stalks towards the referee - but she's spun around by a bloody faced Janus, who lifts her up for what looks like a sidewalk slam - then takes one, two steps, with a pause - and then drops her across his knee with a pendulum backbreaker. She arghs and clutches at her spine, as Janus rises to his feet. Feeling arms lock around his waist, he kicks backwards, catching Dace in the stomach with a strong kick that sends him reeling. Turning around, he grabs the six-footer by the hair, and hoists him up onto his shoulders for a sit-out powerbomb.

Axis: "This has been madness! The Ripper gets a dual powerbomb, Arianwyn recovers, and now finally Janus has Dace set up for a sit-out powerbomb!!"

Suicide King: "Breathe, you Aussie idiot! Someone will think of something!"

Janus grits his teeth, left arm - the one with the badly lacerated shoulder - trembling under the stress of holding Dace up - and he finally plants Dace into the carpeted floor of the restaurant with the thunderous sit-out powerbomb, and leans forward to hold it for a pin attempt.

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE...

Dace thrusts up an arm, just as Jack and Arianwyn, working in concert momentarily - smash one of the restaurant's wooden chairs into the giant's back - and then down on his shoulder, making Janus flop back onto the ground and clutch the severely punished shoulder. Before the gruesome twosome can continue their assault, Dace is back on his feet, and drives Jack into the floor with a sudden yakuza kick. Arianwyn tries to rake Dace's eyes, her own face bloody from being ground into the pavement from Jack's DDTR, but the six footer steps back and hoists Arianwyn up into a vertical suplex, holding the position.

Axis: "Will he...will heeee..."

Suicide King: "NO..... DON'T! DON'T!

Arianwyn starts to fall with the suplex, and then Dace abruptly sits out, turning the move into a stunner!

Axis: "YES! YES!! HE JUST SENTENCED ARIANWYN! JANUS IS DOWN! JACK IS DOWN! DACE CAN MAKE THE PIN HERE!"

Suicide King: "NOOOO! PIN JANUS! HE'S THE ONE TO PIN!"

As if the Suicide King yelling his name galvanised the giant into action, Janus abruptly sits up as he sees Dace cover Arianwyn. A fiery light seems to burn in the giant's eyes as he rises to his feet and lifts one of the restaurant's chairs off the ground. Dace hooks Arianwyn's leg.

ONE!

TWO!

*CRAAAAAAACK*

The sound of shattering wood in this environment is painful sounding, as Dace crumples to the ground after that vicious wooden chairshot. Looking at the solid wooden chair still in his grasp, Janus turns around, spotting Jack getting up from Dace's earlier yakuza kick. The Ripper has little time to notice what else is going on as Janus smashes his chest with a shot from the chair, making him fall to his knees and gasp, clutching his chest. Janus lifts up the chair again, and delivers a final thunderous blow to the Ripper's back before discarding his weapon.

Axis: "Holy....sheeeeeeeeeee-iiiiiiiiiiiit! Janus just went absolutely BALLISTIC!"

Suicide King: "He smashed Dace in the skull with that wooden chair, and then delivered two shots to the Ripper! What the HELL IS HE THINKING!"

Axis: "Anti-Heel Machine! He's demolishing anyone and anything that may have heel-ish tendencies!"

Janus stands in the middle of the restaurant, looking at the battered bodies around him, a strange light in his eyes. He shakes his head, the glow seeming to fade, and his bloody face dissolves from cold focus into something of a frown. Then he shrugs his shoulders and drops, rolling the battered Ripper over and hooking a leg as Kivell slides down to count.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE...

Arianwyn makes the save, not even fully recovered from the impact of being Sentenced as she lunges over and simply but effectively rake's Janus' bad shoulder with her hands, making the giant argh and break the pin to hold his shoulder. She looks at her fingers, seeing Janus' blood over them, and licks it off with the same creepy grin she'd had last time. She rises to her feet as Janus does, the giant holding his shoulder, face bloody as he stares intimidatingly at the smaller superstar, who seems unaffected.

Axis: "Another staredown! Janus and Arianwyn this time! Janus won his title shot by pinning both her and the Insane Luchador!"

Suicide King: "Arianwyn doesn't like that, for sure! I bet she has all sorts of pain planned for Janus!"

Axis: "Not if the others keep interfering, she won't!"

Axis' words are well founded as Arianwyn is spun around by the recovering Dace, and he hooks her arm before snapping her to the ground with a single arm DDT, crashing her shoulder into some broken glass, causing blood to run from the now slashed body part. Janus doesn't notice the Ripper stirring weakly at his feet - but he sure as hell notices when the battered Jack nails him with a low blow, and then drags him off his feet into a schoolboy pin! Kivell slides in to count.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE...

Janus thrusts his good arm up into the air, and Jack shakes his groggy head, rolling off the giant - who promptly sits up - and the Ripper locks one of Janus' arms in an armbar, torquing his arm and battered shoulder, making him yell out in pain. Jack grins almost maniacally as he maintains the hold, as Janus struggles to regain his vertical base with the pain raging through his shoulder. He doesn't have to suffer it for long, as Dace comes over and drives a boot into the giant's stomach, both he and Jack hooking Janus' head for a double DDT.

Suicide King: "Janus is going down! Another double-team DDT, excellent!"

Axis: "Uh.... King...."

Suicide King: "What?"

Axis: "Look at the monitor."

The Suicide King does, as the crowd bursts into cheers. Janus drives his elbows into both Dace and Jack's guts, and rights himself, each man hanging over his shoulder. He grits his teeth, and then with a fighter's roar he slams them BOTH down with a DOUBLE HIGH ANGLE SPINEBUSTER!

"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"

Both Dace and Jack appear to just crumple on the ground, as Janus stumbles away from the damage he's done to lean against the wall, clutching his shoulder and wriggling the fingers of his left arm, trying to work more feeling into it after having it torqued with that simple armbar. Both Jack and Dace appear to be out cold after that thunderous double spinebuster, and Arianwyn, the only other superstar in the match, starts to get to her feet after that single-arm DDT. She spots the downed twosome, then Janus leaning against the wall, rubbing his arm. The female superstar charges over the two prone bodies towards the only other standing opponent - and Janus sidesteps, planting a hand on her back and helping her charge - straight through the doorway into the kitchen. He follows her in just as she collides with a steel shelf, and falls over, clutching her own shoulder.

Axis: "It looks like it's come down to Janus and Arianwyn now."

Suicide King: "Arianwyn will figure something out! There's no disqualifications, AND she's a hardcore star!"

Axis: "She lost last time."

Suicide King: "And she'll win this time!"

The female superstar rises to her feet with assistance from Janus, who pulls her up by the hair. She reaches up, locking hands around the giant's throat, and throttling him - Janus wavers on his feet, coughing hoarsely thanks to the chokehold, and breaks it after a pause by locking his own meaty hand around Arianwyn's throat, forcing her to let go.

Axis: "A choke for a choke! Or could he be planning for the chokeslam!?"

Suicide King: "Either way.... come on Arianwyn! Fight out of it!"

Desperately, she drives several elbows into Janus's neck, forcing him to break the hold. The giant attempts an Irish whip, but she counters and whips him along the length of the kitchen and straight into another shelf, making him stagger from the impact. He turns around as she charges and leaps at him, catching her in mid-leap. However, her own momentum carries her advantage - she spins him around with the Deja-vu and cracks his skull firmly into the tiled floor of the kitchen, before rolling him over for a pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEE...?

Janus kicks out, jerking his shoulders off the ground and rolling Arianwyn off him. The duo once more slowly rise to their feet - Arianwyn clutching her upper back and neck, and Janus keeping a hand to protect his shoulder. Both are bloody, bruised, and determined to win the match. They lockup in what looks like a test of strength, with Arianwyn leaning all the weight she can onto the injured shoulder. Janus' left arm trembles under the strain, as the giant feels the pain shooting through his shoulder, but he doesn't give into the pain. He pushes forward.... and Arianwyn lets go and drops, hitting a drop toehold that bounces the giant's face off a (thankfully off) stovetop. Before she can capitalise, however, the swinging, squeaking sound of the kitchen doorway moving catches her attention...

...As DACE NIGHT steps into the kitchen, looking as bruised and battered as the rest of them. Spotting Arianwyn and Janus, he picks up a steel tray and starts walking towards them, as the female superstar shows no fear and starts running towards Dace - ducking the shot with the steel tray, she bypasses the six footer and attempts to leap up onto his back and cinch in the Deathgrip.

Axis: "She's going for the Deathgrip!"

Suicide King: "Knock him out and pin him down! I don't CARE who you pin, as long as Janus loses this match!"

Arianwyn has the sleeper locked in, but before she can cinch her legs around Dace's waist, the big man lowers his head and slams the metal tray backwards over it, creaming the top of Arianwyn's skull, making her fall off his back and onto the floor, groaning. Rather than capitalise, Dace turns to look for Janus - and DUCKS as the giant's big boot sails through the spot where his head had been. Before the giant can turn and recover, there's a thunderous *THWACK* as Dace slams the dented metal tray into Janus' beaten shoulder. The giant drops to one knee, and Dace lifts the tray again, delivering a second nasty blow to the shoulder - Janus yells in obvious pain, but doesn't go down, instead slowly rising back to his feet.

Axis: "I think Janus is feeling something, King...."

Suicide King: "No... Don't tell me he's going to do what he did last time..."

Axis: "He can smell the victory in his grasp...."

Dace lifts the battered tray for a third shot, but Janus turns around, green eyes seemingly afire in that bloody face - and Dace hesitates, only momentarily. That's all Janus needed, yanking a metal tray from the pile on the kitchen table, he delivers a thunderous blow to Dace's ribs, making him argh and double over. A second blow strikes his upper back, and Janus stands there, waiting ominously for Dace to recover - and then plasters him across the skull with a third shot before discarding the tray.

Axis: "Jack's unconscious in the restaurant! Arianwyn's on the floor near these two, and she looks out of it! Janus is creaming Dace with tray-shots! THIS IS IT!"

Suicide King: "NO! He can't win! He just can't!"

Janus locks his right hand around Dace's throat, pushing the six-footer back as he sets him up. The Suicide King screams that Janus cannot win, as the giant surveys the broken body of Arianwyn, knowing Jack is unconscious in the restaurant - and then he lifts Dace straight off the ground with his right arm, holding him there - and using what he can of his left arm to add to the impact, he drills Dace with a chokeslam - right through a serving trolley!

Axis: "CHOKESLAM! THROUGH THE SERVING TROLLEY! THAT'S ALL!"

Suicide King: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Janus drops to his knees, and then flops over into a cover. Arianwyn twitches nearby.

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEEEEE!!

*DING DING DING*

Back in the arena, Funyon finally gets to make an announcement regarding the match.

Funyon: "Ladies and gentlemen - the winner of the Fisherman's Wharf Brawl.......JAAAAAAAAAANUS!"

The arena blares with the music of "As Darkness Falls" - on the Smarktron, Janus rises to his feet, looking at the camera, and raises his arms in victory, the bloody mask on his face making him seem even more monsterous and intimidating as we fade out to commercial....

December 9, 2002

The camera gyrates back to life revealing a very beautiful bird eye view of the Golden Gate Bridge with it’s many inhabitants crossing in their cars. The scene slowly fades into the background and the camera (using that dandy technology) reveals the sight of the million of faithful SJL fans! The elite signs such as, “Flesher! I’m pregnant!” (While somewhere in the world Tom grumbles, “Not my fault that I have superior sperm.”) And “Mag-7!” Even more fans that are addicted dress up like their favorite stars! The camera then tilts and pans the way down to ringside where it settles down next to the two announcers. Axis and Suicide King both bicker like toddlers.

“Welcome back! After quite a show we are rapidly approaching the main event. But before we can even touch on that we have to explain the logic of this.” Axis begins suddenly.

“Right basically it’s our apology for subjected this to this crap!” Suicide King butts in.

But before King can even finish the lights all go out and when they flicker back on the most vile, evil thing stands in center of the ring.

…

CUTTHROAT~! The fans all jeer their hearts out because only in CT’s mind is he popular! Suddenly Matt Myers comes flying down from the rafters on a manatee! The manatee crushes the SJL ex-jobber. While all the fans sigh in relief and laugh at CT millions of small midget versions of ML/JL stars pop up! G0R0, as a midget, runs around trying to beat up Ted Flink! Not to mention that a mini-Crush circles around jeering Midget~! Matt Myers and the manatee are then surrounded and all hope seems lost.

…

“INSANE LUCHADOR IS ON A SKATEBOARD~! OH THE MADNESS! MIDGETS TO THE LEFT OF ME! MIDGETS TO THE RIGHT OF ME!” Axis cries, breaking down.

Andrew Rickmen skates down and ollies onto the mini-G0R0, which spawns mini small, sized Petro the Clown! Insane Luchador and Myers both struggle as they stomp and hit their finishers on all the midgets but to no avail. Crush then leaps to the outside where he begs Axis to become a part of the CC! Meanwhile the crowd all screams in shock and the camera swings to it’s left…

“DEAR GOD! THE TRIX RABBIT IS BEATING THAT LITTLE KID UP FOR HIS TRIX’S! HE’S LOST IT!” King nearly bawls at the loss of SK’s hero, the Trix Rabbit.

But then a voice is heard, “I AM CYCLONE COMET!” AND THE CARDBOARD CC SWOOPS DOWN FROM THE RAFTERS AND SQUASHES THE TRIX RABBIT~! SUDDENLY MR. BUKKAKE, JOHNNY GENERIC, AND MR. GALATEA POSSESSING A TEDDY BEAR ALL HIT RINGSIDE AND BEGAN TO HELP IL AND MYERS BEAT THE MIDGETS! THE CAMERA THEN CUTS TO A CROWD SHOT AS THE PUNISHMENT IS DONE BEING DISHED! But then as the blood covers the ring THE ELK~! Shows up from behind and spears them all down, EXCEPT GALATEA?

“WHAT! WHAT? BAW GAWD THEY’VE MADE AN ALLIANCE! THE TWO MOST ESTABLISHED WF SUPERSTARS HAVE FORMED A NEW STABLE! THE MADNESS!”

“Christ! I thought I QUIT doing acid~!” King grumbles.

The camera tries to starwipe but Galatea possesses Brad Pitt’s body and tackles the camera down as he stares at it.

“DON’T FUCK WITH US!” He imitates Fight Club and then the camera is able to starwipe away!

I am sorry that I lowered all of your guy’s IQ.

Nope, it's NOT a no-show, that's me' match~!

December 9, 2002

"And what a night a night of action it has been so far on SJL Wrath!" calls Axis as the show comers back on the air following those lovely commercials which sold high quality merchandise, "What are your thoughts regarding tonight's proceedings thus far, King?"

"Well, I have to say that this is another one of those many nights where everyone should be very happy that I am retired," answers The Suicide King with a little glee in his voice.

"And why is that King?"

"Because in that Fisherman's Warf match I would have been more motivated than anyone else out there. No force on earth could have kept me from beating the hell out of everyone in my way so I could get out of there as soon as possible."

"I'm not following," replies Axis quizzically.

"Because all of that fishy smell would have made me want to..."

"Okay,” Axis interjects, “I think we get the idea now. Thanks for sharing, King."

"But, I don't think you understand. The fishy smell would remind me of..."

"STOP IT! We all know where you are going with this.”

“Fish smells like a woman’s privates.”

“WE KNOW, KING! Christ all mighty, can we please get on to the main event now please?”

“Why bother, Axis? We both know that this match is a forgone conclusion. I don’t know what Johnny Dangerous had in mind when he requested a match against both members of the Magnificent Seven that reside in the SJL. You just do not take on athletes like Fugue and Ejiro Fasaki at the same time and come out of top. Hell, Judge Mental himself couldn’t beat two losers like Johnny and WildChild at the same time and he was a bear of a man.”

“Johnny Dangerous is not a loser, King. He’s the World Champion, and boy is it great to even just say that. The super spy has worked so hard to get where he is today, he deserves all the faith and hope we can give him fans. And with that, lets go to the ring for out main event.”

As he has already done a number of times tonight, the man called Funyon steps to the center of the ring and begins his ring introductions...

“Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS is your main event, scheduled for one fall and will be contested under handicapped rules. Introducing first...”

“BORN TO BE KINGS!”

“Here we go Axis. It’s time to kick this show up a notch with two great individuals that can only be termed ... Magnificent.”

“WE’RE THE PRINCES OF THE UNIVERSE! YAH!”

Stepping through the apron together, Fugue and Ejiro Fasaki are greeted with a plethora of earth shattering boos. Meeting that reaction with their usual joy at providing such rancor, The Magnificent Seven both make their way down the aisle. Stepping through the ropes, Fugue tosses his trench coat and hat over the ropes to the ringside assistant as Axis comments on his wardrobe.

“Well you look at that, King. Fugue’s T-shirt this week has a handicapped symbol on it. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what that means.”

“That Fugue got the best parking spot this week?”

Funyon continues with his call of the action, “They weigh in at a total combined weight of 369 pounds. First, from Sarasota, Florida, please welcome the SJL Ejiropean Champion, EEEEEEJIRO FASAKIIIIII! And his partner, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, is the number one contender to the SJL World Heavyweight Title. This is FUGUE! Together they represent THE MAGINIFENT SEVEN!”

While Queen continues to play, Ejiro pulls off his Magnificent Seven T-shirt to once again reveal heavily taped ribs from that scaffold match against WildChild. But there is seemingly no restriction to his movement as he stretches against the ropes. On the other hand, Fugue has done nothing but stare right down the entranceway with unblinking eyes. Waiting for the man with the gold...

“Johnny Dangerous!”

With the theme from “Mission Impossible 2” by Limp Bizkit rocking and rolling through the speaker system, the mood of the fans changes from anger to out and out love. Because it signals the arrival of The SJL Heavyweight Champion! On the giant video wall, clips of Johnny Dangerous going about his super spy ways are displays. Clips of Johnny jumping a motorcycle over a pit full of alligators, slipping champagne with some lady known to her friends as ‘Camille Tow’ and picking up the seven-ten split at league night. Stepping through the curtain with the Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, Johnny is not his usual jovial self as he strides down the ramp and steps through the ropes. Handing the belt to the timekeeper and removing his tuxedo jacket, Johnny is all business as he steps up to the apron and through the ropes as Funyon’s voice rings out...

“And their opponent, weighs in at 210 pounds and hails from Sin City, Las Vegas, Nevada. He is the SJL WORLD Heavyweight Champion. Put your god damned hands together for the “The Barracuda” JOHNNNNNNNY DANGEROUSSSSSSSSS!”

“What a response these fans are giving their champion, King. You can tell just how much these fans care about Johnny and his newly won success at the World Title level. They are truly going to be the sixth man in this contest.”

“So who are men four and five going to be? Stop with the tired sports cliches already, Axis. The only thing that is going to matter in this match is that there are two members of the Magnificent Seven in there and only one of Johnny Dangerous.”

Referee Matthew Kivell signals to The Seven that only one of them can be in the ring at a time and Ejiro Fasaki quickly takes it upon himself to step to the apron as the champion as his eventual challenger circle about each other like lions on the hunt. Kivell motions for the bell and we are on our way!

DINGDINGDING!

Sizing each other up, The Musician and The Spy look deeply into each others eyes before breaking into an immediate collar and elbow lock up. Biting and scrapping for each little inch, this battle has already been decided for as soon as Johnny’s back gets turned towards the Magnificent Seven’s corner, in comes Ejiro Fasaki to the ring. Quickly driving a forearm into the middle of Johnny’s back and stepping right back out of the ring before the referee can even start to warn him about the infraction. But not too quickly that Axis cannot complain about it.

“Well it took all of fifteen seconds for The Magnificent Seven to start cheating their way through this match.”

“What cheating are you talking about, Axis? In a tag match, you can double team for five seconds before the referee has to remove you from the ring. Ejiro wasn’t even in the ring for that long. If Johnny Dangerous didn’t want these odds, he shouldn’t have agreed to a handicapped match.”

With the advantage so nicely handed to him by his partner, Fugue takes advantage with a series of right hand punches squarely into the jaw of The World Champion. Smashing his knuckles into Dangerous enough to satisfy him, Fugue whips Dangerous into the ropes. Ducking his head for a backdrop, Fugue is unprepared for Johnny’s response as he leaps over Fugue with a leapfrog and catches Fasaki across the face with a running forearm, knocking him all the way to the arena floor! Fugue quickly turns around and makes a move for Dangerous, but the Spy is too quick and ducks his head low, sending The Musician of Mayhem flying over the top rope and onto his rising partner! Johnny quickly scales up to the top turnbuckle as the members of The Magnificent Seven climb up each other to their feet. Taking flight, Johnny comes crushing down on both Ejiro and Fugue with a flying body press from the ring to the floor!

“It’s a three car pile up in the Cow Palace!” shouts an excited Axis, “Johnny Dangerous is doing an excellent job keeping Fugue and Fasaki off balance early on. He’s going to have to keep that up if he hopes to win under such odds. But he is from Vegas, after all, King.”

“You cannot keep two men of this caliber off balance for long Axis. It’s just not possible,” rationalizes King with a little panic in his voice.

Picking Fugue off the floor and tossing him into the ring, Dangerous quickly slides in after his number one contender. Taking Fugue by the head, Johnny pounds into The Musician’s head again and again with hard right hands. Sending Fugue into the ropes, Johnny catches him on the rebound with a hard elbow to the chest before bounding off the ropes and smashing the Musician with a high altitude elbow drop to the chest. Hopping back up to his feet, Johnny leaps into the air and once again drives the point of the elbow deep into Fugue’s sternum, driving all the air he can out of The Magnificent Seven member’s lungs. Getting to his feet again, Johnny pulls Fugue up to his feet again when Fugue goes to the great equalizer.

“Fugue rakes the eyes!” calls Axis, “Two against one and still, The Magnificent Seven is taking short cuts.”

“Quickest way between two points is a strait line, Axis. Cheating cuts through a whole lot of fields and pastures to get you home all the more quickly.”

With Johnny blinded for just a moment, Fugue takes the opportunity to make a tag to his fresher partner. Fasaki leaps over the top rope and charges right at the SJL World Champion, but Johnny’s vision clears just in time for him to take a careless Ejiro over with a deep arm drag takedown. Getting up quickly, Ejiro takes a swing at Dangerous with a right hand, but Johnny deftly dodges underneath and pivots at Ejiro with as much torque as he can muster, creaming Fasaki with a devastating spin heel kick. Holding his mouth and counting his teeth, Ejiro is unprepared for Johnny’s next offensive move. Pulling Ejiro up by the arm, Johnny sends him crashing into the corner furthest from Fugue with an Irish whip and follows in with a hard clothesline into his chest. Quickly turning into Fasaki and grabbing a headlock, Dangerous points directly at Fugue before running forward with Ejiro in tow. Taking a short hop into the air, Johnny drives The Ejiropean Champion’s face into the canvas with a bulldog! Turning Ejiro over, Dangerous makes a cover and hooks the leg for a…

ONE~!

TWO~!

NO~! At the same moment, Ejiro kicks away from the cover just as Fugue drives a foot down across Dangerous’ back. As Kivell escorts Fugue out of the ring, Johnny goes right back to work of Fasaki, pushing him back into the corner away from Fugue. Holding onto the top rope, Dangerous swings his leg right into the injured ribs of The European Champion again and again, driving all the wind out of Fasaki. Responding in desperation, Ejiro leans back and pops “The Barracuda” across the chest with an elbow smash to create some room for himself. Another elbow forces Johnny back another few steps. Making a play for his corner, Ejiro tries to step past Johnny and make a tag to his partner. But the World Champion isn’t about to let that happen and he grabs a hold of Ejiro’s arm and pulls him back away from Fugue and into a fireman’s carry.

“Johnny Dangerous is cutting that ring off and keeping Ejiro isolated, King. It’s a strategy you often see in tag matches, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it in a handicapped match before,” explains Axis.

“Please,” counters King, “All this is going to do is cause Dangerous to wear himself out against Fasaki while Fugue rests. You aren’t going to be able to keep a ring general like Fasaki away from his corner forever.”

With Ejiro up on his shoulders, Johnny turns his back to Fugue and takes a few steps away from that corner. Taking all of Ejiro with him, Dangerous rolls forward and crushes Fasaki underneath all of his 210 pounds. Continuing the roll, Johnny comes up to his feet and immediately makes a climb up to the top turnbuckle. Looking out amongst the people that cheer him so loudly, Johnny leaps up into the air and comes down across Fasaki’s taped ribs with flying elbowdrop!

“Ohhhhhh yeah! SNAP INTO IT! Buzz Saw McGraw would be proud,” laughs Axis as Johnny leans over Fasaki and hooks the far leg for …

ONE!

TWO!

TH…NO! This time it is Fugue, and only Fugue that stops the count of Matthew Kivell as he drops an axe handle down across Dangerous’ back to break the cover. Again, Kivell forces Fugue to get out of the ring as Johnny continues to work over a rather stunned Fasaki. Pulling Ejiro off the canvas, Johnny sends his opponent into the ropes and meets him on the rebound with a boot to the gut. Getting some momentum off the ropes himself, Johnny takes Ejiro to the canvas with a running swinging neckbreaker! Pulling Ejiro up once again, Johnny hauls Ejiro up onto his shoulder and walks him closer to a neutral corner. Slamming Fasaki hard to the canvas, Johnny turns his back on his opponent and points up to the turnbuckle again. Climbing up to the top rope with his back to the ring, Johnny looks to put Ejiro away when…

“Fugue pushes Johnny Dangerous right off the top rope to the arena floor!” shouts an indignant Axis, “Why doesn’t Kivell do something about all this blatant interference?”

“Interference? Fugue is well within his legal rights to attack Johnny Dangerous. He is in this match too, you know?”

Johnny flies to the floor and lands against the cold unforgiving steel of the guardrail at ninety miles per hour with his chest! Falling off the rail, Johnny appears to be on dreamland as the vultures swoop in for the kill. Not allowing Johnny any respite, Fugue immediately hops off the apron and goes to work on Dangerous by dropping a series of boots across Johnny’s head. Pulling Johnny off the floor and sending him into the ring, Fugue climbs back into the ring and gets a tag from his far wearier partner. Taking advantage of the situation, Fugue whips Dangerous into the ropes and catches him on the rebound with a leaping, spinning shoulder block to the chest. Quickly clambering on top of the super spy, Fugue chokes away on Johnny with a vengeance.

“Ha! It looks like Johnny is choking under the pressure,” mocks The Suicide King.

“… Did you just get a book full of Bobby Heenan quotes or what?”

Pulling Johnny off the canvas, Fugue slams him hard against The Magnificent Seven’s turnbuckle and makes a tag to Ejiro Fasaki. Still somewhat winded, Ejiro slowly climbs into the ring and takes a hold of Dangerous’ left arm as Fugue has a solid grasp on the right. In perfect coordination, The Magnificent Seven wind Dangerous up in a double wristlock before they both come driving down with Fujiwara arm bars! Both men crank back on Johnny’s arms as The World Champion screams out in pain. Thankfully for him, Referee Kivell, at the count of five, forces Fugue to release his grip and head back to the apron. But Ejiro continues to crank away on his hold with as much power as he can muster. But, again, thankfully for Johnny, The Magnificent Seven brought him down near their corner and he only has to drag himself a little ways before grabbing the ropes to force a break. Releasing his armbar immediately, Fasaki quickly pulls “The Barracuda” off the canvas and slips a hammerlock behind his back. Lifting up, Ejiro slams Johnny strait down with a body slam, smashing Johnny’s left arm underneath his own body.

“It’s obvious what Fugue and Fasaki are up to here, King. They are going to crush Johnny’s arm’s as much as possible in preparation, and then, when the time is right, either man will go for their pet submission holds, either the ‘Harmony’ or the cobra crossface.”

“Yes indeed, Axis, and while they do that, they’ll continue to tag in and out to wear Johnny out in no time flat.”

Ejiro reaches out to his partner and makes the tag before going back to Johnny and pulling his left arm out and away from his body. Fugue leans his weight back against the ropes and comes back with the added momentum to drop a knee down across Johnny’s elbow in an attempt to cause Johnny even more pain and suffering. Taking that arm again, Fugue pulls Johnny off the canvas and pushes him back into the enemy corner. Wrapping Johnny’s arm over the top rope, Fugue drives a series of fists into the shoulder until Fasaki reaches around to add an extra hand. Holding onto the arm tightly and rendering Johnny unable to escape, Fasaki keeps Dangerous from escaping Fugue’s next move. Taking a little step to get some momentum, Fugue leaps into the air and smashes into Dangerous’ shoulder with a dropkick that sends Johnny to his knees. Tagging back out to Fasaki, Fugue pulls Johnny away from the corner with a wristlock as Fasaki climbs to the top rope. With Dangerous’ arm providing such a wonderful target, Fasaki leaps off the buckle and brings a knee down across Johnny’s shoulder.

“A classic move in the style of The Anderson family. Fugue and Fasaki are working better as a team than even I suspected,” gloats The Suicide King as Axis looks on worried for the World Champion.

Continuing with the homage to The Andersons, Ejiro grabs a hold of Johnny’s arm and quickly steps over his body, locking on the straddling armbar. Pressing against Johnny’s shoulder with as much power as he can muster, Ejiro strives to separate the shoulder and lead the Magnificent Seven to a submission victory. But Johnny Dangerous has no quit in him and gallantly fights up against the pressure of the hold. Losing the straddle, Ejiro continues to hold onto the armbar until Johnny gets up to his feet and blasts Fasaki across the face with a right hand. Another shot frees Dangerous momentarily but, in response, Ejiro simply grabs the wrist and jerks it down in an attempt to hyperextend the elbow. Reaching over, Fasaki makes another quick tag to his partner as Johnny struggles to find his vertical base. But The Magnificent Seven are on him like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat. Holding Johnny wide open for Fugue, Ejiro Fasaki smiles as Dangerous takes a kick to the breadbasket. And as Fasaki steps to the apron, Fugue continues to wave his way with Dangerous. Pulling Dangerous’ head down, Fugue gets a hold of Johnny’s midsection. Lifting up, Fugue pulls Dangerous high into the air before sending him crashing back down to the canvas with a sit out powerbomb! Holding on tightly, Fugue tries to hold Johnny down as Kivell counts…

ONE!

TWO!

THR…NOOOO!

“Dangerous refuses to give into these horrible odds, King! Like him or not, you have to admit that Johnny Dangerous has the heart of a man three times his size.”

“… Did you just get a book full of Jim Ross quotes or what?”

“We already used that joke!”

“Damn it!”

Smiling even after Dangerous has kicked away, Fugue doesn’t feel the least bit worried about this match as he makes another tag to Fasaki. Taking Dangerous by the arm once again, Fugue pulls it out and exposes it for Ejiro as he makes a climb to the top turnbuckle for another knee strike. But this time, Johnny Dangerous rakes Fugue across the eyes and uses Fugue’s own wristlock to send him directly into Ejiro Fasaki! Colliding with his partner Ejiro falls groin first on the top rope as Fugue stumbles back towards Johnny Dangerous. Stepping up, Johnny blasts Fugue with a superkick that sends him tumbling all the way to the arena floor! Then, turning his attention to Fasaki, Dangerous makes the climb up to the top turnbuckle and grabs Ejiro around the waist. Flinging himself back, Johnny sends Ejiro flying overhead with a super belly-to-belly suplex!

“What a move!” screams Axis, “Now is when Johnny has to make an attempt to win this thing. With Fugue stunned on the outside, he’s got to put Fasaki away!”

“With his shoulder as messed up as it is,” says King, “there’s no way Johnny can make this comeback, no way!”

Getting to his feet and holding his shoulder, Johnny Dangerous roars at Fasaki to get to his feet. And as Ejiro gets up, he driven right back to the canvas with a stunning chop to the chest! Again Ejiro gets up and again another chop sends him down. Taking Ejiro with his good arm, Johnny grabs Fasaki around the head and takes him down with the DDT! Rolling over and hooking a leg, Johnny Dangerous makes a desperate attempt at the win.

ONE~!

TWO~!

THR…AHHHHHHHHNO! Ejiro Fasaki kicks away in the nick of time to escape the fall. Taking a hold of Ejiro again, Johnny tosses him into the ropes and swings for the fences with a clothesline, but Fasaki ducks underneath and hits the ropes again as a mildly recovered Fugue slaps him on the shoulders to make the blind tag. Not seeing it, Johnny smashes Ejiro on the rebound with another superkick that sends Fasaki tumbling to the canvas! Johnny quickly turns and gets run strait through with a clothesline from the now legal member of The Magnificent Seven! Quickly hauling Johnny up and taking him in a double chicken wing from behind, Fugue leaps into the air and comes down with the Coda!

“Double Chicken Wing Drop!” shouts Axis in sympathy pain, “I think we all know what Fugue has planned next!”

Still holding Dangerous with the double chicken wing, Fugue flips over the World Champion’s body and locks on ‘The Harmony” bridging chicken wing! Screaming in horror, Johnny Dangerous feels every bit of pressure that Fugue puts into ‘The Harmony’ as the announcers route for their respective favorites.

“Quit you pansy!” screams King.

“Come on, Johnny! You’ve gotten out of this before, you can do it again!”

As Ejiro Fasaki struggles to find some sense of balance on the floor, Fugue continues to hold onto his picture perfect bridge. And Johnny Dangerous continues to scream out in horror as he feels his shoulders begin to separate. But Johnny Dangerous isn’t about to quit and begins to pull his legs underneath him trying to find a way to escape. Finally, using every ounce of pressure and leverage that he can, Johnny Dangerous pushes his way up!

“NO! NO! NO!” shouts King. “He cannot do it again! No way!”

“Johnny’s going to escape ‘The Harmony’ again! Even I don’t believe it!”

Finally up on his feet, Johnny Dangerous shifts his weight and pulls a screaming Fugue off the canvas by the arms!

“VERTEBREAKER COMING UP!” roars Axis in orgasmic pleasure!

“NO!” shouts King.

Because Ejiro Fasaki is there! Pulling down on Fugue’s legs, Fasaki saves his partner from the impact of another Vertebreaker. But Fugue isn’t satisfied with just that, and from his new position, drives all of his weight down and smashes Dangerous into the canvas with…

“A TOMIKAZI!” shouts King as the top of Dangerous’ head is spiked into the canvas and Fugue turns him over for…

ONE!

TWO!

THREEEEEEEEEE~!

DINGDINGDING!

“The winners of this contest, THE MAGNIFICENT SEVENNNNNNNNN!”

“Did you see that Axis? Did you see it? Fugue just beat the World Heavyweight Champion! What a counter to the counter of ‘The Harmony’! It’s a premonition of things to come, you mark my words!”

“It took Ejiro Fasaki’s help to do it… But Fugue has indeed pinned Johnny Dangerous right here tonight. I … wait a minute! The Magnificent Seven aren’t done! Come on, the match is over!”

Not quite, Axis, as Fasaki and Fugue, no longer restricted by the rules stomp away at the defeated Heavyweight Champion. Pulling Johnny off the canvas, Fugue sets him up and pulls him high into the air for a powerbomb. And with Ejiro pulling down on Dangerous’ shoulders, the impact is even harder than it was during the match. The Magnificent Seven laugh at the punishment they have dealt to the now unmoving Johnny Dangerous as Referee Matthew Kivell tries to restore some order. That is until Fugue simply grabs the official and sends him flying over the top rope to the floor.

“Come on! This is enough!” shouts Axis. “Someone has to stop these guys from mugging our wrestlers whenever they want just because there are two of them!”

Pulling an unconscious Johnny off the canvas again, Ejiro motions for Fugue to head up top as he slowly and deliberately locks Johnny into a double arm.

“Oh boy!” laughs King, “They’re going for a SPIKE Ejirocation! This will finish off Dangerous once and for all!”

“WAIT ONE SECOND! HERE COMES THE CALVARY! DACE NIGHT AND THE WILDCHILD ARE HERE!”

“This doesn’t concern them! Those two have no business here!”

Leaping up to the apron and grabbing Fugue by the head, WildChild pulls the musician off the top rope and guillotines him on the top rope as Dace Night flies into the ring. Tossing the limp Johnny aside, Ejiro tries to hit Dace with an elbow but the head-dropping freak ducks underneath and pastes Ejiro with a lariat! Meanwhile, WildChild jumps into the ring and grabs the stunned Fugue from behind and lifts Fugue into an all too familiar position for The Musician while Dace Night prepares Ejiro for something special at the same time! And as both men send their foes to the canvas, Axis explodes!

“WILDRIDE AND DARK STAR DRIVAHHHHHHHH! The Magnificent Seven are out of it! It looks like finally, someone has taken a step up and aren’t going to allow those two thugs to keep attacking everyone!”

And as Johnny Dangerous finally finds his way up to his feet, WildChild and Dace are there to help him stay up. And above the bodies of the Magnificent Seven, this new alliance raises their arms in victory!

“What a night! What a moment! Folks, that’s all the time we have tonight. For The Suicide King, this is Axis… Goooooooodnight everybody!”

December 9, 2002

Quick n' dirty rizznults!

C4 vs "Moutian" Mike Moran

- C4 EXPLODES~! on Mike, and demolishes him in their double "debut" match.

"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs Wildchild

-WC kills Holly seven times over, and then takes him on the Wild Ride. Afterward, he swears he... will... have... REVENGE~! on Ejiro!

Janus vs. Dace Night vs. Arianwyn Rivenstone vs. Jack the Ripper

-Heh, heh, heh... Janus continues on his winning ways, pinning Dace after a wild brawl along the coast. I figure y'all should take a gander at this one...

Insane Luchadore vs Matt Myers

-Right. Well, at least it wasn't a double no-show. Barely.

Johnny Dangerous vs Ejiro Fasaki and Fugue

-The Malicious Magnificent dupe the Dangerous One! Afterward, they try to do bad things to the champ, but WC and Dace run in for the save. Hm...

Okay, JLers, not too happy about this show. Not too bad on the surface, true, but there were too many no-shows/near misses for the size of the card (And you know who you are). Also, I am REALLY underwhelmed by there being no promos. Are you folks SURE you're ready for a PPV?

With that thought in mind, the card should be up within an hour or so.

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SJL Wrath For December 8th, 2002!

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