EWR Diary for WWE

[Guest raptor]

Smackdown!

 

Stephanie McMahon is in the ring, and she welcomes us to a new era in Smackdown Entertainment. Vince McMahon has decreed that in an attempt to freshen up the product and give it a new start, all titles are to be vacated. Tonight, the Eighteen Man Tournament for the WWE Title will begin, as will the Eight Man Cruiserweight Tournament. She then says that she hasn’t yet decided the fate of the Tag Titles, but that an announcement was forthcoming. Also, there was a grace period in which to negotiate with talent from Raw, and she has procured the services of some talented individuals, who will debut in upcoming weeks.

 

This is the key for ratings: (Overall/Crowd/Quality)

 

First Round Crusierweight Tournament Match:

Billy Kidman vs Crash Holly : Kick from Billy Kidman to the leg. Crash Holly pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Crash hits an arm drag on Kidman. We have our mandatory ref bump, as he goes down after accidentally getting caught by an elbow to the face. Northern Lights Bomb very nearly crushes the spine of Kidman. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. Billy Kidman reverses a hip toss. Kidman uses a basement dropkick to the knee. Spinning bulldog in the corner, Crash is down. There's a two count on the pin. Vicious kick to the teeth from Billy Kidman. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Billy Kidman misses a clothesline. Crash Holly hits a delayed suplex on Kidman. Pin, but Kidman is out just before the three count. Kidman blocks a kick from Crash Holly. Billy Kidman moves in for the kill. Here it comes - Kid Krusher. 1....2...3, it's finished. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating. (60/52/69)

Analysis: I can’t say I’m too happy with this match. I believe a lot of the blame is on Crash, so it isn’t that big a deal. I have plans for Kidman, but Crash is just crusierweight cannon fodder.

 

Los Guerreros have come down to the ring. They’re upset at their being stripped of the tag team titles. The title were unjustly stripped from them, and now they aren’t even assured a shot at regaining them? Well, tonight they’re going to show Stephanie that she was wrong to take the tag titles from them. They challenge anyone in the back to a match.

 

Rey Mysterio accepts the challenge. He says that even though his usual partner, Edge, has moved on to other things, Rey wasnts another taste of Tag Team Gold. So he’s gotten himself a new partner. The lights dim: STAND BACK! THERE’S A HURRICANE COMING THROUGH! (80)

 

Enigma (Rey Mysterio and The Hurricane) vs Los Guerreros : Rey takes a flying neckbreaker from Chavo Guerrero. Super kick by Chavo Guerrero. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Chavo Guerrero and Eddie Guerrero. Los Guerreros whip Rey into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Cover for a two count. Eddie Guerrero scores with a back heel kick on Rey. Eddie only gets knees on a splash. Slingshot senton by Rey, crushing the chest of Eddie. Rey tags out to Hurricane. Hard back suplex on Eddie. Anyone remember when that was Shawn Michaels's finisher? Hurricane crushes Eddie with a big legdrop. Eddie counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Tag between Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero. Vicious lightning kick by Chavo on Hurricane. Diamond Dust from Chavo Guerrero, Hurricane is out. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Stiff high kick on Hurricane by Chavo Guerrero who has evidently been watching some old AJPW tapes recently. Hurricane reverses a waistlock. Lightning kick by Hurricane on Chavo. Chavo Guerrero is in big trouble...Falling Star Bomb!! 1....2....3! I can't decide whether it's a *** or a ***1\2 match...let's go for a ***1\4 rating to make it fair. (81/84/76)

Analysis: Very happy with these two segments. I still haven’t decided what to do with the tag divison, so I’ll use the coming weeks to build up some new teams to contend for the belts before the Royal Rumble.

 

The Undertaker comes out to the sound of his music. He gets on the stick and complains about the useless talent in the WWE Title Tournament. He says that scrubs like Matt Hardy are just filler until the big boys play at Armaggedon. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 comes out from the back and blindsides Undertaker, who gets floored! Matt Hardy Version 1.0 grabs a chair from the side of the stage. Undertaker tries to fight back...but takes a brutal shot to the head! Matt Hardy won’t stop! Mattitude has bloodied The Undertaker. As the refs pry him away, Matt visibly screams I AM NOT A JOKE while holding up his bloody hand in a Mattitude sign. (74, Taker-)

Analysis: Boo Frickin Hoo, Taker lost overness. The name of the game is puting over new talent, and I’m sacrificing him to Matt Hardy. Live with it.

 

First Round WWE Title Tournament Match:

Edge vs Albert : Albert gets slammed. Rude Awakening on Albert by Edge. Hooks the leg for a two count. Albert powers out of a Edge headlock. Bodyslam by Albert. Albert slams Edge. Bodyslam by Albert. Albert walks into a trip. Nice piledriver on Albert. Albert can barely stand. Edgeocution! 1....2....3. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. (71/74/66)

Analysis: This is me basically sending Albert back to Velocity. Plus, Edge needed someone to job to him so he can move on in the Tournament.

 

The Rock is backstage. He always delivers the goods interview-wise. He was on hype duty tonight, this time for a match with Bill DeMott. (96)

Analysis: Just trying to make DeMott seem like a bigger deal than he is, to provide the illusion that he might actually beat the Rock. Plus, Rocky always pops a rating.

 

First Round WWE Title Tournament Match:

John Cena vs Rikishi : B^2 has been barred from ringside. Cena bodyslams Rikishi. Rikishi blocks a punch. John Cena takes a right hand to the temple from Rikishi. Cena reverses an irish whip...and Rikishi runs into the referee. Side suplex from Rikishi. Hooks the leg, but the referee is still out. John Cena comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Cena slams Rikishi down. John Cena hits a bulldog off the ropes. Hooks the leg for a two count. Death valley driver by John Cena, Rikishi is down and hurt. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Rikishi counters an arm wringer with an elbow to the side of the head. Powerslam from Rikishi on Cena. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Cena drops out the back of a Rikishi bodyslam attempt. Scotty 2 Hotty comes running down the aisle and into the ring! Rikishi turns around.... and gets knocked to the ground. Chair Shot!!! Scotty leaves the ring, the damage done! Cover gets three. John Cena pinned Rikishi. Cena and Scotty beat away on Rikishi, leaving him spread-eagled on the canvas. This gets a **3\4 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. (72/79/56, Scotty^)

Analysis: I’ve got plans for Cena and his stable, so I felt that sacrificing Rikishi was worth it. Plus, I want to use Scotty (cause he’s talented), and putting him with my other white rappers is good.

 

First Round WWE Title Tournament Match:

Mark Henry vs Matt Hardy Version 1.0 : Mattitude hits a massive spinning kick to the jaw. Mattitude hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Kick from Matt Hardy Version 1.0 to the leg. There's a two count on the pin. Mattitude uses a basement dropkick to the knee. There's a two count on the pin. Henry drops out the back of a Matt Hardy Version 1.0 bodyslam attempt. Incredibly weak headbutt on Mattitude by Henry. Cover for a two count. Powerslam from Mark Henry on Mattitude. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 fights out of a grapple. Power drive elbow by Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Mark Henry can barely stand. Here it comes - Twist Of Fate. 1....2...3, it's finished. Mark Henry offers a handshake to Matt...and he accepts it! No! Hardy levels Henry with a cheap shot right hand! Mattitude hits the Twist Of Fate! Mark Henry has been floored after the match. It was close to a ** match, but one too many blown spots knocks it down to a *1\2 rating. (56/63/40, Henry no-sold)

Analysis: You better believe that Henry is gone. He no-sold one of my big projects and talked back about the whole slap after the handshake thing. What a douchebag.

 

The Rock is walking through some corridors backstage. (96)

 

First Round WWE Title Tournament Match:

The Rock vs Bill DeMott : Full nelson slam on DeMott. The Rock has Bill DeMott down on the canvas. Bill DeMott gets locked in the Sharpshooter! Submission victory! **1\2 rating for a decent contest. (69/70/67)

Analysis: Yeah, well it was basically squash city. I might actually do something with DeMott, and putting him in the tournament seemed like a good start.

 

Smackdown! Ratings: (72/5.23)

 

Heat

 

Billy Gunn is in the ring, about to speak. Some unfamiliar music hits...and within seconds, John Cena, Scotty 2 Hotty, and Bull Buchanon hit the ring and swarm all over Billy! John Cena appears to be calling the shots. Pretty soon they stop the beating, but already the numbers have proven too great, and Billy Gunn is unmoving on the canvas. John Cena, who appears to be the leader of this new faction, stands in the ring with a microphone. 'Let me introduce you to the newest game in town, White Thunder! We're here to take control of what is rightly ours. You'll be hearing a lot more of us, and believe me, Billy Gunn is just the first in a long line of victims!' He tosses the microphone aside, and White Thunder leave the ring. What an impact they've made! (69)

 

Sean O'Haire vs Boss Man : Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, Sean O'Haire uses a forearm to the face. Sean O'Haire fires off some right and left hands. Stiff chop lights up Boss Man. Cover for a two count. Big clothesline on Boss Man. Hooks the leg for a two count. Boss Man ducks a clothesline attempt. O'Haire hits a punch, but takes one right back. CLUBBERIN', CLUBBERIN', THEY BE CLUBBERIN' TONY! Sorry, flashback moment. Hooks the leg for a two count. Boss Man DDTs O'Haire, although it was hardly executed with pin-point precision. Sean O'Haire reverses a hip toss. Sean O'Haire scores with a big spinebuster. Sean O'Haire moves in for the kill. Cruel Intentions! 1....2....3. I'll give it a * rating for not being too bad. (51/40/62,O' Haire+, Boss Man-)

Analysis: At least O’ Haire gained overness. I might still send him down to OVW, though.

 

Billy Gunn comes down to the ring, carrying a microphone. He points toward the entrance: 'Chuck Palumbo, get out here'. Palumbo comes out, and stands on the stage. Billy speaks : 'It's real simple, all i want is for you to agree to a match with me, and i'll leave'. Chuck Palumbo looks around at the crowd. They cheer. 'I've never ducked a challenge in my life, you'll get your match'. Palumbo walks off, leaving Billy in the ring, playing to the crowd. (63)

 

Shannon Moore vs James Maritato : Belly to belly suplex by Maritato. Shannon gets caught with a belly to belly suplex from Maritato. Stun Gun from James Maritato! There used to be this blonde guy in WCW in the early 90's who used that...i wonder what happened to him? Shannon gets caught with a short powerbomb from Maritato. Shannon drops out the back of a James Maritato bodyslam attempt. Flying elbow from Shannon Moore. Shannon crushes Maritato with a running senton. Cover for a two count. James Maritato comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Doctor Bomb, Shannon is hurt. Cover for a two count. Emerald Fusion by James Maritato on Shannon. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Shannon reverses a James Maritato hammerlock. Kick from Shannon Moore to the leg. James Maritato reverses a hip toss. Shannon Moore takes a butterfly suplex from Maritato. Shannon Moore charges, Maritato moves, and the referee is conveniently placed to get knocked out. Shannon Moore knocks Maritato to the outside, then signals for the Halo. He reaches out of the ring for James Maritato...and gets clobbered with the ring bell! Right to the head! The referee wakes up to see Maritato sliding in and making the pinfall: 1....2....3! Forget about it. Worth a ** rating, but no more than that. (66/55/78)

Analysis: Just a little crusier match to give both guys some air time. I like both of them, and I’ll probably keep using them on Heat until I can think something up.

 

Gunn \ Palumbo are on their way down to the ring. They climb in...but before they can do anything, the music of White Thunder kicks in! Here they come! All 3 members come running down into the ring. The 3 on 2 odds prove to be too much, and Gunn \ Palumbo are soon left down and out in the ring. John Cena was directing that attack, and motions for his partners to stop the beating. They leave the ring and exit through the crowd. What a beating! (66, Scotty-)

 

The Undertaker is backstage. He talked trash about Matt Hardy Version 1.0, continuing their feud. (83)

Analysis: Thought I’d give him a little face time. That’s all.

 

White Thunder (B^2 and Scotty 2 Hotty) vs Billy and Chuck : Chuck Palumbo with a spinning neckbreaker on B2. B2 ducks a wild right hand. Rude Awakening on Chuck Palumbo by B2. Tag between Bull Buchanan and Scotty 2 Hotty. Scotty hits a dropkick on Chuck Palumbo. Scotty hits a dropkick on Chuck Palumbo. Scotty 2 Hotty misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. Running knee lift from Chuck Palumbo. Tag to Billy Gunn. Chanelling the spirit of Misawa, Billy Gunn uses a forearm to the face. Flying shoulder tackle by Billy sends Scotty to the mat. Scotty drops out the back of a Billy Gunn bodyslam attempt. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Scotty tags out to Bull Buchanan. Spear! Billy is down and hurt. Pin, but Billy is out just before the three count. B2 slams Billy Gunn down. White Thunder have Billy Gunn to themselves. Thunderstorm (powerbomb/ddt combo)! 1....2....3! It's over. White Thunder signal to each other...and they attack Billy and Chuck! After an swift brawl, Billy and Palumbo are left down in the ring. I'll give it a **1\2 rating. (69/69/70)

Analysis: So as you can tell, this was basically a blow job show to get White Thunder over as something to care about. I think it went well, as far as putting them on TV and making them look strong. It’s pretty much a vehicle to get Cena over, though.

 

Heat Ratings: (60/1.28)

 

Raw:

 

Eric Bischoff is in the ring, ready to usher in the new era of Raw. He says that anything Stephanie can do, he con do better. So he's running his own Eighteen man Tournament for the World Heavyweight Title. Stephanie doesn't know what to do with her tag division, but Bischoff does. He'll run a four team mini tournament tonight, with the titles to be decided at Armageddon.

 

Ric Flair is backstage with Dave Batista. Flair tells him that since it's the first night of the new Raw, Batista needs to make an impact, or get lost in the shuffle. (94, Flair+)

Analysis: Ah, Ric Flair. He’s going to get Batista over! That makes him a god or something.

 

First Round World Tag Team Title Tournament Match:

Tough Enough vs Un-Americans : Snow drives a thrust kick into the chest of Regal. Regal takes a quick lariat. There's a two count on the pin. Tag between Al Snow and Maven. Tough Enough whip Regal into the ropes and hit a double back elbow. Big backdrop on Regal, executed well. There's a two count on the pin. Maven slams William Regal. William Regal avoids a Maven avalanche. Front legsweep slam by William Regal, hit with precision. Tag between William Regal and Lance Storm. Legsweep out of Nowhere. Where is Nowhere, and why do moves keep coming out of there? Does it have a factory? Spinning bulldog in the corner, Maven is down. Maven pushes out of a Lance Storm hold. Tag to Al Snow. Vicious back suplex! Lance Storm got nailed. Belly to belly off the top rope, Storm got folded up big time. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Big forearm by Al Snow, ripping a page from the NOAH playbook. Storm counters an avalanche with a raised foot to the face. Flying cross body off the top rope! Even Steamboat would have applauded the execution on that. Dave Batista comes running down the aisle with a chair! Storm and Al Snow continue fighting, unaware of the intrusion. Dave Batista slides in and blasts Al Snow with a chair to the head! Batista climbs out of the ring, the damage done! Al Snow is in trouble. Here it comes - Super Kick. 1....2...3, it's finished. Tough Enough are beaten down three-on-two by the combined forces of Regal, Storm and Batista. **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. (70/71/69)

Analysis: Snow is now the first sacrifical lamb to Project: Bautista.

 

Chris Nowinski is backstage. He was on hype duty tonight, this time for a match with Kane. (78)

Analysis: I expected more from Nowinski in an interview setting, but I still think I’ll try and make something of her anyways.

 

First Round World Title Tournament Match:

Chris Nowinski vs Kane : Nowinski takes a headbutt from Kane. Kane fires off some right and left hands. Running knee lift from Kane. Kane with a spinning neckbreaker on Nowinski. Chris Nowinski pulls a mule kick out of nowhere. Chris Nowinski with a spinning neckbreaker on Kane. Spear by Chris Nowinski. Hooks the leg for a two count. Kane counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Massive backbreaker, Nowinski got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. There's a two count on the pin. Powerbomb on Nowinski. Pin : 1 - 2 - 2.9999999. Chris Nowinski ducks a clothesline attempt. Kane receives some punishment. Kane drops out the back of a Chris Nowinski bodyslam attempt. Kane slams Chris Nowinski down. Kane moves in for the kill. Choke Slam! 1....2....3. Almost a *** rating, but there were some bits that dragged, so **3\4 instead. (74/79/63)

Analysis: Better than I though it’d be, seeing as how Kane was invloved.

 

Al Snow has come down to the ringside area. He climbs into the ring...but is too late to see Dave Batista come out of nowhere with a chair shot to the head! And another! Snow has been left down on the mat, holding his head. Looks like he has been lacerated quite badly, there is blood everywhere. Dave Batista picks him up...Sit-Out Powerbomb onto the chair! With Snow down and out, Batista wraps the chair around the ankle, then climbs to the second rope. He leaps...and Pillmanizes Snow by hitting a flying stomp, closing the chair around his ankle! Al Snow rolls around in agony! Dave Batista places the chair in flat in the center of the ring, then drags Snow up. He brings Snow up...then drives him down with a piledriver onto the chair! Al Snow has been left beaten to a pulp in the ring! As Batista leaves the ring, paramedics come running down to help Snow. They load him onto a stretcher carefully, then take Al Snow out toward a waiting ambulance (85, Batista^)

Analysis: HA HA HA! Batista is already getting over. Good times. I like using the Paramedic angle when getting over new people.

 

First Round World Title Tournament Match:

Dave Batista vs Spike Dudley : Dave Batista hits some punches. Running knee lift from Dave Batista. There's a two count on the pin. Spike counters a backdrop attempt with a kick to the face. Spike Dudley with a spinning neckbreaker on Batista. Spike Dudley hits some punches. Rude Awakening on Dave Batista by Spike. Spike Dudley misses a clothesline. Massive backbreaker, Spike got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Dave Batista moves in for the kill. Sit-Out Powerbomb!!! That shook the ring. 1....2....3!! Spike Dudley leaves and walks back down the aisle. Wait...Dave Batista comes running as well, and Spike gets dropped with a clothesline, followed by a load of stomps. He is left lying in the aisle. **1\2 rating for a decent contest. (67/66/68)

Analysis: Yes, I used another squash. It’s the best way to make Batista like even more of a monster.

 

Dudley Boyz are backstage. They were on hype duty tonight, this time for a match with Three Minute Warning. (70)

 

First Round World Tag Team Title Tournament Match:

Dudley Boyz vs Three Minute Warning : Running knee lift from Rosey. Spear by Rosey. Hooks the leg for a two count. Rosey tags out to Jamal. Jamal scoops up D-Von. Rosey bounces off the ropes and hits a flying Hart Attack clothesline. Big backdrop on D-Von, executed well. Hooks the leg for a two count. D-Von takes a headbutt from Jamal. Jamal drops an elbow...but misses. Fate can be so cruel. D-Von Dudley scores with a big spinebuster. Tag to Bubba Ray Dudley. Running knee lift from Bubba Ray Dudley. Massive backbreaker, Jamal got planted. Early reports indicate that the back was *not* actually broken, so the move's name should actually be backhurter. Jamal comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Tag to Rosey. Bubba walks into a spike slam. Death valley driver by Rosey, Bubba Ray Dudley is down and hurt. Pinfall attempt gets a 2.9999. Rosey bodyslams Bubba Ray Dudley. Bubba Ray Dudley comes up with a right hand out of nowhere. Nice piledriver on Rosey. Dudley Boyz have Rosey to themselves. 3D! 1....2....3! It's over. I'll give it a **1\2 rating. (71/74/66)

Analysis: I really don’t like the Dudley Boyz, but they’re the only good babyface team on Raw, since I want Booker to do something important (like be the one to benefit from my jobbing Triple H out).

 

Kevin Nash is backstage. He was on hype duty tonight, this time for a match with Rob Van Dam. (67)

Analysis: That’s a horrible score for an interview. You’ve got one more chance, Poochie.

 

First Round World Title Tournament Match:

Kevin Nash vs Rob Van Dam : RVD hits a wicked chop that echoes through the building. Nash backdrops Rob Van Dam out of a piledriver attempt. Sluggish brawling from Nash. Rob Van Dam charges, Nash moves, and the referee is conveniently placed to get knocked out. Nash DDTs Rob Van Dam. Pinfall attempt, but the ref is conveniently laid out. RVD kicks Kevin Nash in the gut to reverse the momentum. Rob Van Dam hits a rolling kick on Nash. Flying cross body off the top rope! Even Steamboat would have applauded the execution on that. Cover for a two count. Back heel kick off the second rope, Nash goes flying. Cover, but there's a last second kick-out. Kevin Nash takes the advantage after a i-block-your-punch-you-don't-block-mine routine. Kevin Nash DDTs RVD, poorly executed. Hooks the leg for a close fall. RVD kicks Kevin Nash in the gut to reverse the momentum. Rob Van Dam has Kevin Nash down on the canvas and is ascending the corner. Off the top - Five Star Frog Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3! **1\2 rating. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling. (69/75/57)

Analysis: Well. Nash is as good as gone, isn’t he.

 

Raw Ratings: (73, 6.11)

 

Adam Ryland says that we're gaining popularity, and that Kevin Nash and Jamal want time off after RVD and Bubba "worked to stiff." pussies. So what did I do? I busted Nash down to lower midcarder so fast he accepted his release. BOOYAH! My policy is that if the dead weight can get guys over, I'll keep'em around until they outlive their usefullness. Nash wasn't over, wasn't putting on good matches, and his interviews sucked. Bye Bye, Big Poochie.

 

So that's the first week of my WWE. If you guys like it, I'll do more. So, leave comments and stuff.

[Guest hardyz1]

Good stuff. Keep it up.

 

One question, though. How is an 18 man tournament going to work? Shouldn't it be 16?

[Guest Kahran Ramsus]

Gunn \ Palumbo are on their way down to the ring. They climb in...but before they can do anything, the music of White Thunder kicks in! Here they come! All 3 members come running down into the ring. The 3 on 2 odds prove to be too much, and Gunn \ Palumbo are soon left down and out in the ring. John Cena was directing that attack, and motions for his partners to stop the beating. They leave the ring and exit through the crowd. What a beating! (66, Scotty-)

 

Scotty went down after a gang beating?

[Guest raptor]

Gunn \ Palumbo are on their way down to the ring. They climb in...but before they can do anything, the music of White Thunder kicks in! Here they come! All 3 members come running down into the ring. The 3 on 2 odds prove to be too much, and Gunn \ Palumbo are soon left down and out in the ring. John Cena was directing that attack, and motions for his partners to stop the beating. They leave the ring and exit through the crowd. What a beating! (66, Scotty-)

 

Scotty went down after a gang beating?

I know. I was shocked when he went down, but of course couldn't do a thing about it.

 

ANd I worked out the whole tourney on paper, so I'm pretty sure it will work.