Panda jokes

[Guest ShooterJay]

I know these are hopelessly outdated, but not to the general public...

 

The reason why I need panda jokes is because I'm working on a standup comedy act, and I have a couple of minutes on pro wrestling fandom, I figured a panda joke would be a good intro, but I can't think of one.

 

Here's a sampler of the wrestling part:

"Even though I'm a huge pro wrestling fan, been one since I was eight years old and it's not likely to change, I'm afraid to talk about it in public, because everyone has this stereotype of wrestling fans being perverted and low-class. I hate this stereotype-I mean, once you get past the swearing, alcoholism, bloodshed, barbarism, hard drug use, misogyny, sexual harassment, necrophilia, attempted suicide and voyeurism, you'll see some pretty athletic half-naked men groping each other over designer jewelry."

 

Here's another part about my college major:

"...because I’m a communications major at Boston University, which is a pretty big fucking deal actually, Boston University has a ton of Hollywood connections- Jeffrey Katzenberg, Bill O’Reilly, and Howard Stern are all alumni or have kids attending right now. I’m pretty psyched, because that means after graduation I’m guaranteed a very lucrative career…cleaning their pools."

 

Yeah, I know it's not Jerry Seinfeld, but I think it's decent enough for a one-off amateur night deal. So, panda jokes would be appreciated, and you can flame me if you want I don't care, I know it's not particularly funny (heck, I bought tomatoes for the crowd to throw at me, it's part of the act.)