Anger Management: On The Edge

[Guest TSMAdmin]

I’m sure this will earn me eternal damnation in the pits of Hell as far as some people go, but fuck it, SOMEBODY has to speak out and it may as well be me.

 

 

Okay, long story short, I’m an admitted Edge fan, and while that may prompt the whole “seeing through rose-colored glasses” BS, I’m putting a stop to that train of thought right off the bat. First off, I can admit that the guy isn’t a great wrestler and you know what? It doesn’t bother me that he isn’t! It seems that most of Edge’s detractors always go back to the same weak crutches whenever they start their seemingly weekly bitching about the guy and it’s always the same 4 things(most of which can be applied to damn near every wrestler on the roster):

 

 

1) The Spear- Might as well get the biggest one off the bat. While yes, he SHOULDN’T use it as a finisher, it’s clearly one of his most popular moves with the fans as he constantly gets a pop whenever he uses it. Then you have others who say that it’s Rhyno’s move(a load of horseshit) and that only Rhyno should use it. Pardon me, but that’s just fucking retarded. If the WWE were to ever run their company like that, then pretty much EVERYONE would be doing nothing but punching and kicking. Hell, Bret Hart made the Sharpshooter popular, does that mean Lance Storm and Chris Benoit should stop using it right away? Also, people bitch about the spear just because he’s pinned some of the smark darlings with it. My advice to those of you who whine about that: Get the fuck over it. Benoit’s jobbed to the fuckin’ Peoples’ Elbow before, I’m sure he doesn’t give a flying fuck about laying down for the spear.

 

 

2) He wins all the time- What’s so sad about this particular argument is that he’s done the clean job to Kurt Angle twice, lost a feud with William Regal at the beginning of the year, and lost the tag belts to the defunct Un-Americans. It’s pretty obvious that they are building the guy to be a future champion, so really, it’s kind of expected for him to win a few high profile matches and/or feuds. While it’s true they should either piss or get off the pot with the push, the WWE has done shit like this before, just look at Bret Hart(and no, I’m not comparing him ringwise to Bret), so why is it such a damn surprise when they do this now?

 

 

3) His psychology “sucks”- Ahhh yes… Here’s a tricky topic. “Edge can’t sell!”, “He shouldn’t no-sell the anklelock!”, “He’s not selling the leg properly!”. If I had a dollar for all the complaints about Edge’s psychology, I’d be richer than Bill Gates. Amazingly enough, this stuff comes mostly from Angle fans and is quite shocking considering whose jock they suck off. You know what, I’ll be the first to say that I’ve bitched about RVD’s lack of selling before, BUT, when he DOES make an effort to do it(like the Storm match on RAW earlier this year), I at least give him props. All this bitching about how Edge didn’t sell the leg when Kurt slapped him in the anklelock is quite silly when Kurt can’t even remember which leg Albert smashed with a chair. Oh, and about the countering it so much thing, I’ve watched Austin, Rock, Hunter, Jericho, and Benoit all do the same thing Edge does and most Angle fans jizz their pants talking about “*****!!!!!” and “Match of the Year Candidate!!!!!”. Pardon my French, but that’s such a load of horse pukey. When Kurt’s idea of psychology is slapping the anklelock on 80 times a match in lieu of actually BUILDING it, Angle ans shouldn’t really be whining like 12 year old girls every time someone not named Benoit, Rock, or Austin counter the damn submission.

 

 

 

In short, all this lame nitpicking because Edge’s last name isn’t Benoit, Guerrero, or Angle is really fucking dumb when nobody can look good under the same microscope that people place Edge under. I can understand if you dislike the guy, I really can. But all this constant whining crap just because Vince is real high on him(which should really make some people happy since Copeland isn’t a 300 pound hoss) is just sad and people should save their vemon for REAL undeserving jackoffs like Batista, Kane, Albert, Fat Fuck, and Shawn Michaels.

 

 

 

Later

 

 

Byron Vester

The SmartMarks.com

E-mail me at: [email protected](remember to remove the spam-killing x’s)