SJL Metal, March 6th

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Nothing fancy tonight.   I have way too much work to do.

 

SJL Metal Card, Wednesday March 6th

Due: 3pm Wednesday BT

Arena: The Brisbane Entertainment Center, Brisbane, Australia!

Commentators: Axis, Edwin... And back by popular demand, Sacred! Evil.

 

Singles Match - Send to Edwin MacPhisto

Cutthroat vs. The Dark Reaper

- The infamous Cutthroat makes his debut against the Dark Reaper. Hmm...

- Word Limit: 3000

 

TV Title Match - Send to Zero_Cool

Shawn Brody © vs. Kojack

- Although MVS is the current #1 contender, he won't be getting his shot until Metal next week, as he's half dead. Instead, the under appreciated Kojack will get the chance to grab some JL gold.

- Word Limit: 4000

 

Four Corners Match - Send to Suicide King

Mafia vs. Thomas "TomCat" Menias vs. NBK Josh  Tupper vs. Ced Ordonez

- Two men are in the ring at once, two men are in corners. Tag format, first fall wins. It should be nice. It's everybody on everyone. Sorry about this lack of variety, but things should start to look up next show.

- Word Limit: 4000

 

SWF Contract Tournament!

 

Xero vs. Ash Ketchum - Send to Zero_Cool

- The JLest oldest head, and the only remaining MLer collide for a shot at SWF glory.

- Word Limit: 5000

 

K-Os vs. Renegade - Send to HVilleThugg

- K-Os had a shock loss at the hand of Low Brass last week, due to a nasty C4 Crunch from Munich, which he cannot be happy about.

- Word Limit: 5000

 

Erek Taylor vs. Flexxx - Send to Suicide King

- Erek managed to retain his title against Ash on Crimson. His reward? A match with the nasty Flexxx guy. But if he wins, he's only one match from the SWF. Can Flexxx upset the ever solid European champion?

- Word Limit: 5000

 

Low Brass vs. Lady Red - Send to Edwin MacPhisto

- The leader of XF9 clashes with a former XF9er, Annie Eclectic, now known as the evil... Lady Red. Will Low Brass call on Munich again?

- Word Limit: 5000

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

The Metal logo appears as the show kicks off, and the theme music pounds out though the arena. An even less amount of fireworks then last week crackle on the entrance way, it seems the Australian tour is having an impact on the financial status of the WF. Fans all over the world are on the edge of their seats, they are ready to watch one of the greatest wrestling shows ever. The camera starts to come to life and starts to pan the great Brisbane Entertainment Centre in the great Country of Australia. Through out the arena, multi-colored lights flash and the fans are on their feet and are in an usually great mood. The camera soon comes to rest on the announce table were Axis sits but his co-commentator is not at the table.

Plus, a third guy. His name is Sacred, he’s evil, and he’s the SJL US champion.

 

 

Axis: Welcome to SJLMetal, live from Rod Laver, Melbourne. What a spectacle of a show we've got for you today! I'm sorry folks I don't really know where my fellow commentator is, but we also have with us the US Champion Sacred, back by popular demand.

 

Axis: Sacred nice to have you back with us.

 

Sacred: I told you people like evil and the evilest guy around.

 

Edwin MacPhisto quickly jumps into his seat, he looks red cheeked and out of breath.

 

Axis: What's the matter, was it those backstage crew boys again.

 

Edwin: Incorrect Chubby Man, I was just swarmed on by a group of scantily clad women.

 

Axis: Right...

 

Edwin: It's true.

 

Axis: We’ve got lots of great matches to come tonight and the tournament continues tonight but first we have a great match to start off.

 

Sacred: I bet you’re gay.

 

Edwin: You’re right Ax, The Reaper will take on the newest man to wrestle in the federation Cutthroat, what is he some kinda pirate.

 

Axis: The Reaper who is fresh from his first win on Crimson looks to advance he career tonight..

 

Sacred: I’ve never heard of this Cutthroat, sounds like a bit of a jackass to me.

 

Funyon climbs into the ring and awaits the arrival the first wrestler.

 

The arena blackouts straight away, soon an explosion rocks the arena as U2’s "Dirty Day” manages to fill the entire arena. Cutthoat soon appears and walks down to the ring.

 

Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall, walking to the ring at a weight of 243 pounds, making his SJL debut, CUUUUTTRROOAAATT

 

Cutthroat energetically flips into the ring, and jumps onto the nearest turnbuckle with his arms up in the air. Then he tosses his orange unbuttoned onto the turnbuckle and throws his sleek sun glasses into the crowd.

 

Axis: Well he looks ‘dangerous’.

 

Edwin: Do I notice some sarcasm in your voice?

 

Sacred: I could take him on, single-handed.

 

 

 

The arena lights dim as the SMARKtron comes to life, it shows a long and dark road and all that we can make out is a figure walking towards the camera.

 

The figure keeps moving towards us at an even pace, just before we can make out the face of the figure the SMARKtron dies and a familiar voice says "I'm Back", Control by Puddle of Mudd kicks in as a huge man steps out from behind the curtains.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, standing at an impressive 7 foot 5 inches, he is “The Dark Reaper” Ian Coull.

 

We can now see the Reaper in all his glory, we can only see one half of his face because he is wearing a mask that covers his horrific burn marks. Cutthoart happy expression stays on  his face as the big 7'05 man slowly walks towards the arena, the crowd wild with cheers.

 

Sacred: That guy looks evil enough, too bad he isn’t an evil guy.

 

The Dark One arrives at the edge of the ring, he steps up onto the side and throws his leg over the top rope and enters the ring, he walks up to the nearest turnbuckle. The Reaper puts both feet on the second rope and throws both of his hands up in the air. The crowd cheers and there are many light bulb flashes from the crowd.

 

Cutthoat comes from behind and hits Ian over the back, which signals the bell.

 

DING DING DING

 

Axis: A cheap shot by Cutthoat, Cutthoat can't make any mistakes tonight. With the Repers power and strength, one mistake could prove to be a fatal one.

 

Reaper turns and gives Cutthoat an icy stare, Cutthoat takes a few steps back, does a quick turn and runs into the ropes. He rebounds and runs straight back at Reaper, he agilely launches himself into the air, and throws his arm out for a flying clothesline. The arm connects but it hardly stuns the Reaper as he takes a few steps back. Cutthoat jumps to his feet and quickly surveys what to do. The Reaper takes a few steps forward, which makes Cutt take a slide under the bottom rope to escape.

 

Axis: He’s running away!

 

Edwin: No…he’s obviously looking for a better chance to attack. Its called strategy Axis.

 

Collecting himself Cutthoat slides into the ring and returns with a full head of steam. He slides between Reaper’s legs as the giant tries the grab the smaller man, quickly jumps to his feet, and delivers a dropkick to Reaper’s back that sends the big man stumbling forward a bit.

 

Axis: Some great thinking from Cutthoat, getting that drop kick in on Reaper. But that won’t be enough to do in the Reaper.

 

Edwin: Cutthoat is definitely outclassed in this match, Reaper has the height and power advantage.

 

Cutthoat jumps up as the Reaper regains his balance. Reaper charges in to grab Cutthoat, but Cutthoat ducks and slides to the left of Reaper, delivering a swift kick to his side once he's clear of his foot. The kick pains Reaper's ribs and he grimaces, but shakes it off. Reaper charges in again, and this time is met with a dropkick to his jaw that staggers him a bit as Cutthoat jumps back to his feet. Before Reaper can get rebalanced, Cutthoat is on him with punches to the face that keeps the giant at bay. Cutthoat rears back and delivers a strong punch to Reaper’s face, knocking him into the corner. As Reaper stands in the corner, leaning against the turnbuckle, Cutthoat begins to climb the ropes. Kojack stops on the second turnbuckle, looking down on the Reaper. Cutthoat rears back and delivers a strong punch to Reaper, then rears back and delivers another, and another, until he has struck Reaper nine times. The crowd boos angrily as Cutthoat taunts a final punch. But before Kojack has a chance to strike again, Reaper suddenly reaches up and grabs Kojack by the legs. Reaper then quickly falls forwards while holding Cutthoat, slamming Cutthoat back into the mat with a Powerbomb! The crowd pops loudly at the surprising move from Reaper as Cutthoat lies on the mat, his back arched in pain. Reaper quickly makes the cover, hooking the leg as the ref slides into position…..

 

One….

 

 

Tw…kick-out.

 

Axis: I suspect Reaper was playing possom there to get Cutthoat into that move.

 

Edwin: Aren’t you gonna comment on this match Sacred?

 

Sacred: You think I care about this match or the guys taking part, they’re nothing compared to me.

 

The Reaper gets to his feet rather quickly, while Cutthoat takes his time until Reaper decides to help him. Reaper helps Cutthoat up, and then whips him to the near ropes, where Cutthoat bounces off and heads back to Reaper. Reaper raises his leg intending to give Cutthoat the big boot, but Cutthoat ducks to avoid the foot and rebounds of the over rope heading back towards the Reaper, Reaper quickly turns as Cutthoat runs back at him. Cutthoat jumps into the air and extends his knee, trying to land knee smash knee to Reaper’s face! Reaper drops to the floor and rolls under Cutthoat’s knee and then gets up quickly behind Cutthoat. Reaper quickly bends over and puts his head between Cutthoat’s legs, Reaper clutches Cutthoat’s legs and lifts him up into the air. Reaper uses his arms to lift him slightly then drops him forward for the Electric Chair Drop! Cutthoat’s face slams into the mat.

 

Sacred: A 7-foot fall can’t be good for the guy.

 

Edwin: How true…how true.

 

Thinking that Cutthoat won’t get up too fast the Reaper scales the nearest turnbuckle.

 

Axis: I’ve seen this man climb them very rarely but he has never connected a top rope manoeuvre.

 

Edwin: Thank god, he could kill a man if he landed on him.

 

Reaper turns around to face the slowly moving Cutthoat, Reaper readies himself to jumps, he does but at the last moment Cutthoat moves out of the way, The Dark One lands hard on the mat.

 

Axis: My Gawd, the ring actually moved a few inches from the shock of that blow.

 

Cutthoat throws his body on top of Ian Coull, as he is momentarily stunned. The ref slides in...

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE….

 

WAIT!!

 

After slapping the mat the third time, the referee throws his hands up, telling everyone to wait. He then points to the far bottom rope, where Reaper's leg is draped across it.

 

Axis: Reaper got his leg on the rope!!

 

Cutthoat rolls off of Reaper and holds his head in disbelief. Cutthoat yells at the ref, as he can't believe this match isn't over.

 

Edwin: Can you believe that?!? The Dark Reaper gets his leg on the bottom rope! I guess Cutthoat thought he got a lucky break.

 

The Reaper manages to get to his feet and starts to approach an unaware Cutthoat who is still arguing with the ref. Reaper grabs his shoulder and turns him around, and whips him into the far ropes. On his way back, The Dark Reaper hits a hip toss and send Cutthoat to the mat. Cutthoat quickly gets back up and runs into another hip toss. Cutthoat gets up again and hits two kicks to the gut. Cutthoat locks on a front face lock and drives Reaper's head to the canvas with a DDT!

 

Axis: Cutthoat is showing some fierce competition tonight.

 

While the Reaper is down Cutthoat scales the nearest turnbuckle and waits for the Reaper to slowly get up, Reaper turns towards him and Cutthoat jumps locks in a face lock while in mid air and drives Reaper down once again with another DDT.

 

Axis: The Twizter, Twizter!!!

 

Cutthoat stands up and starts talking trash to the Reaper. He grabs the Reaper and lift him back onto his feet. He puts his hands on the back of the Reapers head and runs towards the ropes. He gets ready to push the Reaper over the ropes but the Reaper grabs onto the ropes stiffly. The Dark one puts one hand onto the back of Cutthoat’s head and throws him over the rope. Reaper follows Cutthoat to the outside, he tries to pick Cutthoat up but Cutthoat jabs one hand into the Dark Ones face, making him stagger back. Cutthoat jumps to his feet and heads towards the timekeeper and takes the chair that he is sitting on. Cutthoat tries to conceal the chair from the Reapers view. He breaks into a run and lifts the chair over his head, but Reaper kicks Cutthoat in the abdomen, Cutthoat drops the chair as Reaper locks in a front face lock and delivers a huge impact DDT onto the chair.

 

Axis: My god.

 

Sacred: This is getting fun, but it’s not EVIL fun.

 

Reaper picks Cutthoat up and rolls him into the ring. The Reaper picks up Cutthoat. The Dark Reaper whips Cutthoat into the corner but is reversed and The Reaper is whipped into the corner. Then Cutthoat charges to the corner at full speed and charges into the elbow of The Dark Reaper. Cutthoat staggers back as The Dark Reaper grabs Cutthoat and throws him over his shoulder. Then The Dark Reaper goes in position and hits the Rikishi Driver.

 

Axis: Darkside by the Reaper, he’s really taking this match up a notch.

 

The head Kojack is impaled into the canvas and Cutthoat falls on his neck. The ref checks to see if Cutthoat is all right. The Dark Reaper picks up the tired Cutthoat and gives him a shot to the gut. Cutthoat is doubled over and we see the Reaper take a step back and soon brings the back of the Reaper’s leg his neck for a scissors kick.

 

Reaper crawls over Kojack and manages to hook the leg,

 

One…

 

 

 

Two….

 

 

 

 

Thre…wait, Cutthoat manages to lift his shoulder at the last moment.

 

Axis: NO! He got his shoulder up off the mat!

 

Reaper picks up Cutthoat but out of nowhere comes the Slice Punch! Reaper reels back and Cutthoat soon goes back to offence as he punches The Dark Reaper. Cutthoat whips The Reaper to the ropes and waits for him to come back. When The Dark Reaper comes back he sees Cutthoat running straight at him, Cutthoat jumps straight at the Reaper, and hits a spear. Cutthoat hooks the leg of The Dark Reaper as the ref slaps his hand down for the count.

 

One…

 

 

Two….

 

 

T…..kick-out.

 

Cutthoat obviously frustrated grabs Reaper’s head and locks him into a front face lock as he stands up, Cutthoat starts to run towards the turnbuckle. He run’s up it and turns around in mid air, looking to hit his finisher, but he does not land as Reaper locks his hand around Cutthoat’s waist holding him in mid air. Reaper side-steps and throws one of his hands around Cutthoat’s neck. Reaper let’s Cutthoat drops to his feet and turns him around, now Reaper wraps his second hand around Cutthoat’s neck…

 

Axis: Can it be….

 

Reaper raises Cutthoat into the air and onto his shoulders setting him up for the 2nd stage of his finisher. Reaper musters all his strength into hitting this final move, and brings it home as he tosses Cutthoat’s body to the hard unforgiving canvas.

 

Axis: The END!

 

The Reaper falls to the floor and hooks Cutthoat’s leg for the pin, the referee starts to make a the count…

 

 

ONE….

 

 

 

TWO…….

 

 

 

THREE!!!!

 

DING DING DING

 

Funyon: Your winner the Reaper!

 

The crowd cheers as the Reaper’s entrance music sounds out for his victorious win.

 

Axis: The Reaper has won his returning match by countering a Cutthoat’s finisher the Final Cutter.

 

Edwin: After Cutthoat had hit the floor, I knew that he wouldn’t be getting back up.

 

Sacred: When the real part of this show starting?

 

Axis: I thought that it’s been great so far, anyway folks stay tuned because later we start the tournament that will give two lucky people a chance to enter the big leagues of the SwF!

 

The Reaper scales the nearest turnbuckle and throws his hand in the air as we fade to commercials.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

“Welcome back to Smarks Junior League Metal!” Axis greets us back with a smile as the SJL Metal Theme blasts over the PA and the camera pans through the packed Brisbane Entertainment Center, Brisbane, Australia! “Tonight we enter the second stage of the tournament for a contract to the SWF, but first we will see a one-on-one contest for the SJL Television Title.” Axis finishes as DMX’ “Party Up” comes over the speakers. Shortly after, Kojack struts out, a little less cocky than usual.

 

“Last time on Crimson, MVS cost his friend and tag partner, Kojack a match when some interference by Van Siclen went wrong.” Edwin continues, “They’ve been having problems for the past few weeks and many in the back are saying that Crimson was the last straw.” Kojack makes his way to the ring as Axis chimes back in. “Kojack usually has Van Siclen’s back but after that chair shot earlier, he left MVS high and dry. Now what results is Van Siclen, the new number one contender for the TV title, is out from minor cuts and bruises, not to mention blood loss at the hands of Brody. Que the tape...”

 

[The replay of the attack on MVS from Crimson airs. Brody has MVS around the throat with some barbed wire and chokes the life out of him, then locks in a Cross-Armed Camel Clutch on his limp body.]

 

Kojack looks on, not expressing much sympathy for his friend. “My my, Brody is shaping up to be one EEEVIL bastard. He must be taking notes from your truly! Muwahahahaha!” Edwin pipes in, “Or not, you see, Brody still has his title.” That shuts Sacred up as he glares at Edwin. Just then, the eerie intro of Stabbing Westward’s “Darkest Days” starts to emanate from the PA system. The slow jingle of bells and the beat of a drum catch the fans’ attention as they turn their heads to the entranceway. The lights dim and start to strobe against the black velvet curtains as the anticipating fans await his arrival with the music growing in volume.

 

“We’ve seen a complete transformation of this man in recent days, from the quiet, blonde-haired acrobat to the EEEEVIL, black-braided sadist.” Edwin sighs as a figure in a black robe steps out from behind the curtains to a mass of mixed emotions from the fans. Flashbulbs pop and sparkle all around as he strides to the ring with his black robe flowing behind him and his title belt glistening from around his waist, boos echoing in his ears, overcoming his music in volume. He rolls into the ring as Kojack backs off into his corner and the lights and music calm back down.

 

“Just look at him, tainted by the Clan...” Axis cuts Edwin off. “I don’t want to pick sides here but did Brody have that title before the Clan helped him?” Edwin answers, “No, but he didn’t need their help.” “That may be true but they certainly speeded the process...” Sacred pops back into the roundtable, “They brought out the true EEEVIL inside of him that made him the champion! Muwahahahaha!” Two colds glares silence the cooky Aussie, once again as Brody hands the title to the referee and Funyon gets the ‘ready’ look as the man in the striped shirt presents the gold to all sides of the arena.

 

“This following contest is for the Smarks Junior League TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!” The fans erupt as Funyon continues in his lowered voice. “Introducing first, the challenger... Weighing in at 250 pounds, hailing from Miami, Florida... KOOOOOOJACKK!!!”

 

Kojack stands in the corner, unfazed by the cheers he is actually receiving. His eyes, locked on Brody. “I don’t think I’ve seen Kojack this focused. He knows coming in that Shawn Brody, The Fallen Angel, as he likes to call himself, will be one hell of a challenge.” Axis finishes as Edwin starts in, “Of course, we were there last time when Brody pulled out the duke on Kojack and that was when Kojack had MVS on his side, but now, that is still questionable not to mention the fact that Van Siclen might not be able to help Kojack if he wanted to.”

 

“Weighing in tonight at 227 pounds... He is a member of the Clan and is the Smarks Junior League WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION... ‘THE FALLEN ANGEL’ SHAAAAAAWN BRODY!”

 

Brody takes off his black robe and hangs it over the ring post, showing his sleeveless, black Clan shirt as he starts to stretch, warming up for the match. Kojack charges at the champion, who has his back turned and hammers him in the back of the head with a stiff forearm. The official tosses the title to the ring crew and quickly calls for the bell.

 

“DING! DING! DING!”

 

“...And we’re underway! Kojack has gained the advantage from a rookie mistake by Shawn,” calls Axis as Kojack continues to hammer Brody down with stiff axe-handles and stomps. Brody finally finds his way back onto his feet as Kojack presses him into the ropes. He sends Brody across the ring with an Irish Whip. Brody comes back fast as Kojack goes for the Big Boot... Brody turns his chest down to the canvas and slides under Kojack and out of the ring. He hops back up onto the apron and grabs the top rope for a springboard... Kojack grabs Brody’s head and introduces him face-first into the top turnbuckle pad, sending Brody staggering on the apron.

 

“Kojack is mounting some strong offense on the champ,” calls Edwin as Kojack synchs Brody in an inverted facelock over the ropes. He struggles once... twice... and finally lifts Brody up in a Stalling Suplex as he slowly steps back from the ropes. Brody starts to wiggle and loosens himself as he turns and lands on his feet behind Kojack in a rear waistlock. He charges forward, running Kojack into the ropes with hopes to bounce him back into a roll-up but Kojack hooks his arms on the ropes and Brody rolls back alone. He makes it back up onto his feet as Kojack charges in with a clothesline...duck and Brody hooks up Kojack for a T-Bone Suplex in vain.

 

“Brody is trying to synch Kojack up for a... a... T-Bone Suplex, but Kojack’s just to heavy.” Edwin continues, wondering what Brody is thinking. “There’s no way he can take Kojack over,” Edwin finishes as Kojack starts to free himself with one... two... three elbows. After the third, Brody gives up and stumbles back a step as Kojack steps forward to get free but Brody grabs him by the back of his hair and slams him on his back. He helps the stunned Kojack back to his feet and backs him into the ropes for an Irish Whip...reversed. Brody takes the shot into the ropes and bounds back as Kojack charges in. He catches Brody in a Power Slam and hooks the leg...

 

“Kojack with the first cover of the match-up... one, two and no! Just a two-count.” Kojack pulls Brody back onto his feet with a fistful of his new black braids and leads him over towards the corner. Brody’s face has another conference with the top turnbuckle pad as Kojack bounces it off. He stomps Brody in the gut and pulls him over his shoulder before setting him on top of the pad. He fires a right hand up at Brody, but gets blocked and pulled into a front facelock. Brody leaps out of the corner and spins around... but gets planted in the canvas with a sit-out powerbomb style slam. “Kojack has done his homework this time.” Sacred pipes in, “Homework is just EVIL!” They glare at him once more as he shuts back up.

 

Kojack negates to pin and gets back up where he hauls Brody to his feet. He presses Brody back into the corner and keeps him warn down with an elbow... and then another for good measure. He takes Brody’s arm and sends him across the ring with a whip. Kojack follows, giving a close chase as Brody heads to the opposite corner. He grabs the top rope and vaults his legs up, catching Kojack’s head, but Kojack throws them of, sending Brody landing onto the apron. Brody boxes Kojack’s ears, sending him staggering back. Brody springs up onto the top rope and vaults at Kojack. He spins and floors the big back with a Heelkick. “Brody just might have gotten the break he was looking for,” notes Axis.

 

Brody quickly gets onto his feet and pulls Kojack up, backing him into the ropes before taking his forearm for a whip...reversed. Brody hits the ropes and comes back fast, catching Kojack with a standing Tornado DDT out of nowhere! “Desperation move by Brody as Kojack is smart to roll out of the ring,” calls Axis. “That took a lot out of both men.” Kojack shakes the cobwebs loose as Brody gets back onto his feet. He charges at Kojack’s ropes and vaults over them, landing on the apron. Kojack tries to grab him but meets a kick to the face and is sent back as Brody jumps onto the second rope and vaults back into a beautiful backflip, knocking Kojack to the floor.

 

“Asai Moonsault by Brody! His morals may have compromised but not his talent,” says Axis as Brody rolls Kojack back into the ring and hops up onto the apron. Brody grabs the top rope and springboards to the downed Kojack, landing on his solar plexus with a Knee Drop! Brody rolls forward to slow the momentum as Kojack clutches his chest in pain. Brody skips on making the cover and pulls Kojack back up to his feet. He clutches Kojack’s head and turns his back to him, taking Kojack over with a Snapmare. Brody follows up with a loud kick to Kojack’s spine! Kojack contorts his face in pain as Edwin chimes in, “So that’s why he calls that the Spinal Tap! Ouch!” Brody pulls Kojack’s shoulders to the canvas and covers him in a lateral press...

 

“One... Two... and no! Kojack gets the shoulder off of the canvas!” Axis echoes the official. Brody pulls Kojack’s head off of the canvas and claws at his eyes, but the referee quickly stops him. Brody gets back onto his feet and starts to lay the boots in on Kojack, stomping and kicking his head around like a soccer ball. Kojack finally stands but is backed against the ropes with a right-legged roundhouse to his thigh, then calf. Brody smacks him with another kick, this time a left-legged roundhouse to the side of the head so his right side won’t fell left out. Brody goes back working to Kojack’s left side with a kick to the chest, thigh, midsection and... Brody finally stops and eyes Kojack, covering up his body with his skin turning red. He grins and sends him across the ring with a whip.

 

“Devastating kicks by Brody,” Edwin starts in. “We haven’t seen those from him before.” Edwin finishes just as Brody floors Kojack with a Spinning Heelkick! He drops down for the cover. “One! Two! ...Kojack kicks out with authority!” yells Axis as Brody flies off of Kojack and almost lands on the referee from the bench press. Kojack gets back up as... strangely, the fans start to come alive and cheer. Kojack looks to his left and then to his right as he becomes reassured. Brody doesn’t notice as he back-peddles into the ropes and comes back with a clothesline. Kojack ducks into a rear waistlock on Brody. He lifts him up... Brody flips back and lands onto his feet. Kojack turns around to meet a high right-legged roundhouse aimed for the head, but ducks into another rear waistlock...

 

“Second try for the German Suplex... no! Did the referee see that?” Edwin looks on as Kojack doubles over in pain from the low blow back-kick. Brody spins around behind Kojack with a standing switch and grabs to armbars for the Tiger Suplex but instead of lifting Kojack, Brody has to improvise and rolls backwards, pulling the stunner Kojack over him. Brody pins his shoulders down and rolls so that his legs are sitting on Kojack’s arms. The official drops down for the count...

 

One!

 

Two!

 

T-No! Kojack kicks out! They get back onto their feet with Brody a bit unnerved from the shock. They charge at once another and... Brody takes a hard clothesline turning him insider out. Brody staggers back up and is met with a kick to the gut that doubles him over. Kojack pulls him into a standing head-scissor and outstretches his arms, looking out into the first row. He wraps his arms about Brody’s midsection and lifts him up and with a little struggle, has Brody over his shoulder in the crucifix position... Brody rolls out and catches him with an armdrag! “Kojack took too long on the Extreme Bomb!”

 

Kojack makes it back onto his feet and charges at Brody but takes another armdrag, but Brody keeps the arm this time and locks it under his own. He presses one knee into the side of Kojack’s head with the other kneeing on the canvas. Brody torques on the arm enjoying Kojack’s discomfort and then goes to the Crucifix Armbar, with more pressure on the joints. Kojack fights it and locks his hands but Brody tries to fry them apart with his leg at he kicks at Kojack’s hands. Kojack’s holds strong so Brody finally gives up and takes the leg over Kojack’s neck and steps over Kojack’s bent elbow in a short-arm-scissor.

 

“Brody is showing us more sides to his skill. I haven’t seen him go at it like this. I mean just look at him and how he keys the lock in that armbar. Maybe the Clan has shown him a thing or two.” Edwin finishes, as Kojack starts to fight the hold. He rolls towards Brody’s legs, rolling Brody onto his shoulders. Brody takes notice and releases the hold promptly. Kojack aids Brody up to his feet, but his hands are knocked back when Brody stands and he is rewarded with a knife-edge chop to his bruised chest. He fires back with an open-handed chest slap and the two men go back and forth until Kojack finally gives up and stops Brody’s momentum with a knee to the gut.

 

Kojack takes Brody down with a Drop Toehold and goes straight for the scissored Anklelock. Brody franticly claws his way to the bottom rope just as Kojack can lock it in. Brody is grateful to get to ropes but Kojack doesn’t let go and stands, dragging him back into the center of the ring with a standing Anklelock. Brody tries to stand and manages on one foot before rolling out to the side, breaking the hold and grabbing the other ropes. “Brody narrowly escapes the Torque and makes it to the ropes.” Axis continues, “We’ve seen the damage that hold can do and when Kojack really locks it in, it’s already over.”

 

Kojack pulls Brody up and powers him against the ropes and takes his hand for a whip...reversed. Brody pulls Kojack into a swift knee, knocking the wind out of him and doubling him over. Brody grabs Kojack by the inside of the knee and by the arm for a reverse fireman’s carry... he can’t lift him at first so he tries again...nope. He gives up and takes Kojack to the corner and sits him on the top turnbuckle, facing away. Then Brody takes his arm and pulls him back into the reverse fireman’s carry off the corner. Brody doesn’t carry the weight long at all as he throws Kojack’s legs over his head and guides him back to the canvas into a DDT with Kojack landing flat, more on his chest than head but still looking painful. “ANGEL WINGS BY BRODY!!! HE HOOKS THE LEG!!”

 

ONE!

 

TWO!!

 

 

“THR-NO!! KOJACK KICKED OUT!!” Brody looks at the official in shock, eyeing the two fingers. He turns back to Kojack who’s actually starting to try and get up to a large reaction form the fans. Brody makes it up first and snarls at Kojack, on his hands and knees, struggling to his feet. He kicks him in the side and Kojack drops back to the canvas, clutching his ribs. He tries to get back up once more as Brody takes a few steps back... he charges back in and kicks the downed Kojack harder than before. Kojack rolls across the ring, clutching his insides. Brody follows him with a light limp and finds his opponent near the ropes, on his back gasping for breath. Brody looks at him without a single ounce of remorse and knees onto his knee, holding himself down with the aid of the ropes.

 

“Brody is choking the life out of Kojack! The referee’s is trying to restrain him...” Brody shoves the official onto his back in the center of the ring. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind getting disqualified so long as he retains his belt.” The official gets back up just as Brody releases Kojack. The Fallen Angel looms over the official, stalking him. The man in the striped shirt back-peddles until his back touches the pads of the corner... nowhere else to go... WHAM!

 

“IT’S MIKE VAN SICLEN!!! MIKE VAN SICLEN OUTTA NOWHERE WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!” screams Edwin, surprisingly happy to see him. “MIKE VAN SICLEN JUST FLOORED THE FALLEN ANGLE WITH THAT CHAIR, BUT HE TOOK OUT THE OFFICIAL AS WELL!!” The crumpled referee falls down and drips off of the apron like a broken egg as MVS hauls Brody to his feet with the fans waking up and cheering their hearts out. Van Siclen has Brody on his knees with a fistful of hair in one hand and the other holding the steel chair while pointing to his heavily taped and bandaged up neck. “Van Siclen is telling Brody, ‘You’ll pay! You’ll pay come Crimson when I get my title shot!” Kojack finally makes it onto his feet and looks at his friend and tag partner, helping him. He goes over and the two men’s eyes meet and without a word agree. Kojack pulls Brody into the standing head-scissors with the chair placed behind Brody as the landing pad. MVS springs up into the top turnbuckle and now faces the ring after a half twist...

 

“Here it comes!” Edwin says over the silence as the water starts to boil... Kojack lifts Brody up onto his shoulders... “The Fallen Angel just stabbed Kojack in the head with... with... are those scissors?!” Sacred pipes in, “No, that’s a Japanese fighting hook, like a claw you attach it to your hand.” Axis chimes in, “How do you know about that?” Sacred replies, “I’m EEEVIL remember! MUWAHAHAHA!!” Brody drops off of Kojack’s shoulders as Kojack staggers back into the ropes, making them shake and causing Van Siclen to get crotched over the top turnbuckle! Brody tucks the bloody weapon back into his boot as MVS falls forward off of the corner and onto the canvas and Kojack tries to clear the blood from his eyes. MVS starts to get up but his pulled right into a standing head-scissors by Brody, who hooks his arms... “NO!! THIS IS JUST...” Edwin is at a loss for words as Brody lifts MVS up vertical as if for a Double Underhook Suplex, but he releases MVS’ arms and brings him back down to the canvas with a sickening thud on the steel chair.

 

“THE DESCENT!!! THE DESCENT ON MVS!!!” Edwin screams as Van Siclen rolls out of the ring. Brody stands once more and slides out of the ring. He ducks under the apron and finds it! He reappears with a spoil of barbed wire in his clenched fist and walks around the ring avoiding the official’s side and heading straight for MVS, on the floor in front of the commentary table. He stands over MVS’ back, holding the barbed wire high over his head... warm, crimson blood starting to drip down his arm... “This is sick!” Edwin winces as he is reminded of Last Crimson’s Barbed Wire Camel Clutch.

 

He slowly starts to bring the spoil down towards MVS’ head...WHAM! Brody stumbles forward, stopping himself against the commentary table with Kojack standing behind him in a blind and bloody rage. WHAM! “Edwin!” Axis scolds! “What?” He replies, rubbing his fist, “I hate the Clan!” Kojack grabs Brody with his bloody hands and rolls him into the ring and hops up onto the apron. He steps over the second rope with Brody already on his feet. He cracks the chair over Kojack’s back but he doesn’t fall. Brody cracks it over Kojack’s head and he’s still up, though staggered. Brody eyes the dent in the chair and then Kojack, roaring as he beats his fists against his chest...

 

CRACK!!! The blood-curdling sound of steel meets skull echoes throughout the arena as Kojack drops to his knees... SMACK!!! He falls to his face after a sickening kick to the face with the chair still around his neck, his head poking out through the bent up seat. Brody rips the chair from Kojack’s head and tosses it to the outside before going to the referee’s side of the ring. Axis looks worried, “I don’t know if Kojack has any more blood to lose! This is getting out of hand.” Edwin starts back in, “It isn’t right! The Fallen Angel feels no pain, no sadness... no remorse! He’s a sadist down to his black heart.” Edwin tries to keep himself calm as Sacred pipes in. “And what’s wrong with that? He’s a killing machine and he’s out there doing what he has to do to get the job done.” Edwin responds with distain, “Are you hearing this, Axis?” Axis replies, “Sadly, I am, Edwin.”

 

Brody hauls the official up onto the apron and climbs into the ring to wake him. The official starts to stir groggily and Brody makes the cover, the entire arena booing...

 

ONE!!

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

THREE—NO!!!

 

“KOJACK KICKED OUT!!! HE MUST BE SUPERHUMAN!!!” Axis screams at the top of his lungs as Brody stands, visibly frightened. Kojack too stands and grabs Brody...but takes a kick to the neither regions, unseen by the recovering official. He pulls Kojack into the standing head-scissors and hooks the arms before muscling Kojack up and bringing him back down with a crash! The official starts another slow count...

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

THREE!!! He calls for the bell!

 

“DING! DING! DING!”

 

Stabbing Westward’s “Darkest Days” pick up over the speakers as Funyon grabs his mic and takes a deep breath, “YOUR WINNER AND STILL...” He fights to talk over the immense boos, “THE SMARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION, ‘THE FALLEN ANGEL’ SHAWN BRODY!!!”

 

Brody steps over the official and slides out of the ring where he grabs his title and turns to leave... He spots MVS trying to aid his fallen friend as EMTs rush the scene. Brody thinks about ‘helping’ to but just smirks as he takes his robe and heads to the back. “What we have seen here was not wrestling, it was just sick,” finishes a concerned Axis as Brody disappears behind the curtains with his “damn” championship belt. The cameras go back to Kojack with a ring of EMTs and a worried MVS as his side. He resists their help as they tape gauze to his forehead and fights to stand while being told not to. He shoves one of them back and props himself against the ropes, calling for a mic...he receives.

 

“Mike... this is OVER!”

 

“Wha?” Edwin wonders. “He just tries to help you.”

 

“This between you and me is OVER! I’m tired of your shit! From now on, you can watch your OWN damn back!”

 

“Thud...fizzle.” The mic hits the canvas and goes dead. Kojack exits the ring and limps to the back with MVS in shock.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

We return from the break to a shot of Axis sitting at the announcing table.

 

Axis: “Welcome back to SJL Metal! We have had some great contests thus far…and….and…and what in the world are you doing, Sacred?”

 

The camera pans back to reveal Sacred and Edwin McPhisto.  Sacred is standing and looking around while Edwin tries to figure out what Sacred is looking for.

 

Sacred: “I sense an evil presence.”

 

Axis: “Will you sit down? Of course you sense an evil presence! YOU are an evil presence!”

 

Sacred: “You are correct, my friend. For I, Sacred…”

 

Axis: “Hoo boy, here it comes…”

 

Sacred starts murmuring as he slowly lowers back into his seat as Axis waits for the end of the sentence. There is a long and uncomfortable period of dead air before Axis finally gives up and continues announcing.

 

Axis: “Uhh…Anyway, let’s get back to the action with a Four Corners Match! Here Funy…”

 

Sacred suddenly pops out of his chair with his arms outstretched.

 

Sacred: “AM EEEEEEVIIIIIIIL! MWAAAAHAAAHAAAA!”

 

Edwin: “Dig that dramatic pause! MWAAAAHAAAHAAAA!”

 

Axis rams his head into the announcing table and slowly shakes his head in disbelief.

 

Axis: “WHY? Why must this happen to me?”

 

As Axis mopes, the attention is redirected to Funyon, who stands in the middle of the ring.

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a Four Corners match and it is scheduled for one fall. Entering the arena first, from San Jose, California, weighing in at 191 pounds, CED OOOORDOOOONEEEEEZZ!”

 

A thunderclap echoes throughout the area and "Storm of Ambition" blares through the speakers. The music plays for few seconds before Ced makes his way out with a towel draped around his neck. The towel is dark blue and bears the same lightning design on his tights. As he makes his way to the ring, he slaps the outstretched hands of fans while the entrance lights intermittently flash to give a lightning-like effect. When he gets into the ring and does a quick warm-up jog around the ring before going to his corner and throwing the towel into the crowd. He rests in the corner and waits for the other wrestlers to arrive.

 

Funyon: “From Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, weighing in at 250 pounds, “NATURAL BORN KILLER” JOOOOOSH TUUUPPEEEERRR!”

 

The lights in the arena slowly dim down to a faint glow as all the lights focus in on the Smarkstron as the sound of a loud siren burst through the darkness as suddenly a spinning red siren appears on the Smarkstron as The words Natural Born Killer imprint themselves behind the sirens as suddenly jail cell bars slam down over the words and the screen goes black as the sound of Twiztids, Broken Wingz cuts through the boos. Quickly the arena lights up as five quick blasts of pyro emerge from the each side of the stage. As the last blast of pyro echoes through the arena the shape of "NBK" emerges from behind the dark curtain as Melinda slowly follows from behind. "NBK" slowly walks down the ramp and slides underneath the bottom rope as Melinda walks up the steal ring steps. "NBK" lifts up the second and bottom rope as Melinda steps into the ring. "NBK" ascends the second turnbuckle and strikes his chest three times as the crowd erupts into a sea of uncontrollable boos. "NBK" jumps down to the mat and walks over to the corner across from Ced and starts to stretch.

 

Funyon: “Now making his way to the ring, hailing from Denver, Colorado, weighing in at 215 pounds, MAAAAFIIIAAAAA!”

 

"War Machine" by KISS hits as it turns dark, with multi-colored lights flashing onto the entryway and ring. The vocals hit, and Mafia walks onto the stage, with Candra by his side, into multiple spotlights, which shine from each direction. He walks straight down to the ring and the spotlights follow. At the bottom of the ramp, he slides in, whilst Candra stays on the outside and claps. Mafia immediately turns to one of the vacant corners and climbs up the turnbuckles. With his arms clasped behind his back, he spits out a dose of Black Mist as the spotlights still shine. He jumps off and jogs to the opposite turnbuckle and repeats the process. He jumps down and throws off his entrance attire and waits for the final opponent to enter.

 

Funyon: “And from Kittery, Maine, weighing in at 239 pounds, THOOOMAAAS “TOMCAT” MEENIIAAAS!

 

The jazzy beat of Brian Setzer’s “Stray Cat Strut” kicks up, arousing the cheers of the women in the crowd. No lighting or pyro effects, because Thomas is the show all himself. He comes strutting out, twirling his cane as two women flank his sides. Once at the bottom of the ramp, “Tomcat” gets a kiss from each girl, and they head backstage. Thomas climbs into the ring and gentlemanly takes off his coat and hat. He hangs his coat over the corner post and places his cane and under the ropes. Menias then occupies the remaining corner as the referee prepares to start the match.

 

Edwin: “Axis, are you getting a strange déjà vu feeling here?”

 

Axis: “Well both Menias and Tupper have been involved in Triple Threat Matches with the other two competitors before. However this is the first time Mafia and Ordonez have been in the same ring.”

 

Sacred: “The number 4 is EEEEEEVIIIIIIIL!”

 

Axis: “No, it’s not!”

 

Sacred: “I decree that the number 4 as evil, therefore it is evil! MWAAAAHAAAHAAAA!”

 

Axis: [angrily] “Oh skip it…we are set for action!”

 

Sacred: “Skip Its are EEEEEEVIIIIIIIL!”

 

Axis quickly removes his headset and goes into a profanity-laden tirade as the camera pans back to the ring.

 

**DING DING**

 

Ordonez and Tupper prepare to tie up as Menias and Mafia exit onto the apron and into their respective corners. Tupper stands tall over the smaller Ordonez and lifts his hand high into the air, taunting him as Axis puts his headset back on.

 

Axis: “Ahem…Ordonez and Tupper in the ring now and Tupper has the clear size advantage. Collar and elbow tie-up and Tupper easily shoving Ced to the ground. Ced is back to his feet now and they are locking up again. And  ‘NBK’ gets the same results.”

 

Ced appears to be frustrated, as it is obvious he can’t match Tupper’s strength. Ced scratches his head and decides to tie-up again with Tupper. Tupper shoves Ced into the ropes, but this time Ced rebounds with a hard dropkick into the left knee of “NBK”. Ced quickly gets back to his feet and bombards Tupper’s left leg with a series of roundhouse kicks. Tupper retreats into a corner and Ordonez follows in with the assault only to be met by a huge overhand right that sends Ordonez crashing to the mat. Tupper picks up Ordonez by the hair and drags him. He tags in Mafia and Tupper stretches out Ced, allowing Mafia to get a free punch into Ced’s sternum. Tupper exits to the apron as Ced grimaces and falls to one knee. Mafia lays in some roundhouse kicks of his own, but Ced manages to block a few of the shots as he returns to a standing position. Ced takes a good shot in the thigh but charges in and tries to get Mafia with his S.T.O., the Final Surge. However, Mafia sidesteps the attack, grabs Ced’s arm and locks on a Fujiwara Armbar. Ced can’t find the ropes but Tupper comes in and pulls off Mafia to save him. Tupper looks at the downed Ordonez and stomps him in the injured arm before returning to his corner, eliciting boos from the crowd.

 

Sacred: “Uncalled for violence. Such an evil act puts a wonderful taste in my mouth.”

 

Axis: [sighs] “Let me guess. Chicken?”

 

Sacred: “No, uncalled for violence tastes like Rocky Road ice cream.”

 

Edwin: “Really? Hey, Axis, would you have guessed that?”

 

Axis: [pretending not to listen] “In the ring, Mafia working on the arm of Ordonez with a hammerlock.”

 

Ordonez looks for a way to counter Mafia’s hammerlock. Ced places his free arm between his own legs to grab one of Mafia’s, but Mafia swats his hand away. Ced manages to make his way to the ropes for a break, but winds up near the corner of Tupper, who promptly cheapshots Ordonez. The crowd boos the unsportsman-like conduct being displayed by “NBK”. Frustrated, Ced swings at him but “NBK” puts his hand up, tagging himself into the match. Tupper laughs at Ced as he enters the ring as the referee demands that Ordonez exit to the apron. Ced argues for a bit about the so-called tag, but eventually throws his arms up and makes his way to the corner. Suddenly he stops and walks up behind Tupper. Ced blindsides ”NBK” with a dropkick to the back of his leg causing Tupper to stumble forward into Mafia, who catches him with an armdrag. The crowd reacts to Ced’s actions with a few cheers sprinkled in with the boos.

 

Sacred: “Revenge. It tastes like Orange Sherbet.”

 

Edwin: “More ice cream?”

 

Sacred: “To ones truly evil like myself, various acts of evil have a distinguished flavor associated with them. And these flavors of evil all taste like ice cream.”

 

Edwin: “So, it’s kind of like your own evil Baskin Robbins! Say, what kind of evil tastes like Mint Chocolate Chip?”

 

Sacred: “The evil act…of JAYWALKING! MWAAAAHAAAHAAAA!”

 

Axis starts to mutter under his breath as “NBK” is none too pleased at the latest turn of events, tagging in Menias. Tomcat steps into the ring but is immediately met by Mafia, who clubs him over the head with a forearm.  The shot stuns Menias and Mafia whips him into the turnbuckle. Mafia charges but Tomcat gets out of harm’s way and Mafia runs chest first into the turnbuckle. Tomcat takes advantage of the situation by grabbing Mafia from behind. He hoists Mafia over his head and sends him crashing down hard with a release German Suplex. Menias recovers quickly and rolls Mafia over for the pin.

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

 

Mafia gets a shoulder up.

 

Tomcat picks up Mafia and whips him into the ropes. Off the rebound, Menias catches him with a sidewalk slam. Menias rolls Mafia onto his stomach and Tomcat stands to Mafia’s side. He preps Mafia for the Tomcat Stretch, his bow and arrow submission, but Tupper comes into the ring and breaks up the attempt. The referee yells at “NBK” to get back into his corner as Tomcat lifts Mafia to his feet and lands a one-two punch combination onto Mafia’s face. Menias whips Mafia into the ropes but Mafia reverses. Mafia grabs Menias as he bounces off the ropes and tosses him with an overhead belly to belly suplex. He picks up Tomcat and locks his hands around Tomcat’s waist. Mafia places his head under Tomcat’s arm and hoists him over with a Northern Lights Suplex. Mafia bridges into a pin attempt.

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

 

T…Menias kicks out.

 

Mafia rolls to the corner and tags in Tupper. He wastes no time in running to the ropes, jumping off of the middle rope and nailing the downed Menias with a springboard legdrop. He bounces back up to his feet, drags Menias into position for a top rope splash, and climbs the turnbuckle where Mafia resides. Mafia takes a few steps away from Tupper as the perched “NBK” signals to the crowd that the match will be over soon. He stands on the top turnbuckle but Mafia grabs the top rope and shakes it hard. The resulting tremor causes Tupper to lose his balance. He desperately tries to regain it but he slips and falls hard, straddling the turnbuckle. The men in the audience cringe as they know what Tupper must be feeling.

 

Edwin: “[beep] At the current time, it absolutely sucks to be Josh Tupper!”

 

Sacred: “Cookies and Cream.”

 

Axis: “Say what? Wait…No, I don’t even want to know…”

 

Tupper leans forward and clutches himself as Mafia leans toward him and pats him on the back. Mafia feels no sympathy, as he has tagged himself in and stomps at Tupper until he rolls out onto the apron. Mafia turns his attention to Menias, who is crawling to Ced’s corner. Mafia runs and catches Menias by the ankle, but he stretches out and leaps to tag in Ced. Ced bounds to the top rope and leaps at Mafia, connecting with a missile dropkick flush on Mafia’s chin sending him reeling. Ordonez psyches himself up and bounces off the ropes with a cross bodyblock onto the recovering Mafia into a pin.

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

TH…Tomcat runs in for the save.

 

Tupper, who has recovered from his painful fall, rushes in as well and punches Menias, who in turn responds with a right hook. The referee yells at both of them to get back to their corners, but both refuse to back down and they begin wildly swinging at each other as Ced and Mafia exchange knife edge chops in the corner. Tupper whips Menias into the ropes as he bounces off the opposite ropes. “NBK” uses all of the momentum and drills Tomcat with a Hit and Run. At the same time, Mafia lifts up Ordonez into a standing Fireman’s Carry and walks to the center of the ring. He swings Ordonez into a stunner for the Mob Hit as Tupper looks on, prepping for another Hit and Run. Mafia sees it and gets to his feet as Tupper charges. Mafia manages to dodge Tupper’s Hit and Run at the last second and Tupper goes through the ropes and tumbles to the outside. Mafia hurries over and pins Ced.

 

 

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

 

THRE…NO! Ordonez just barely gets his shoulder up!

 

Axis: “Ordonez kicked out! I can’t believe it!”

 

Sacred: “Bah…Ced Ordonez is such a tasteless fellow…”

 

Mafia can’t believe it as the referee holds up two fingers. Mafia grabs Ordonez again and lifts him up into another Fireman’s Carry. Ordonez fights it off with all he’s got and manages to wiggle his legs free. He swings himself to Mafia’s side and grabs him in a Rock Bottom setup. Ced kicks his foot up and sweeps Mafia’s legs out from underneath him while lunging forward himself.

 

Axis:  “Ced got the Final Surge! That came out of nowhere!”

 

Still in a daze, Ced rolls on top of Mafia and hooks the leg.

 

ONE…

 

 

TWO…

 

 

THREE!! Ced gets the fall and wins the match!

 

**DING DING**

 

Funyon: “Your winner, by pinfall, CED ORDONEZ!”

 

Ordonez barely manages to sit up as the referee lifts his arm up in victory. Mafia rolls out as another wrestler rolls in…armed with a familiar steel chair…

 

Axis: “Wait a second?!? That’s Kojack! What’s he doing here?”

 

Kojack stomps away at Ordonez before taking a few steps back and taunting him to get up. Ordonez gets to one knee as Kojack nails him square in the head with the steel chair! Ordonez falls dead back onto the mat.

 

Axis: “Kojack just nailed Ced Ordonez! Look at the dent on that chair!

 

Sacred: “EEEEEEVIIIIIIIL! Such senseless violence! MAAAANNGOOOOOOO!”

 

Kojack picks up Ced, now bleeding, and places him into a powerbomb position. He waits a few seconds before hoisting up Ordonez and spiking him with the Jack Bomb onto the dented chair! The crowd boos vehemently as Kojack motions to Funyon that he wants the mic. Funyon looks frightened as he tosses it to him. Kojack stands over Ced and holds the mic over his mouth as Ced can do nothing but breathe into it. Kojack pulls the mic back to himself as the crowd boos furiously. Kojack leans over a bit to look into the glazed eyes of Ordonez.

 

Kojack: “Thank you for that wonderful acceptance speech. Brisbane, Australia, please give a round of applause for Ced Ordonez, the newest subscribed member…of the ass kicked club!!”

 

The crowd boos as Kojack throws the mic down and continues the beatdown by applying the Torque to Ordonez, who lays motionless. A flock of referees rush to the ring and desperately try to pry Kojack off of Ordonez. DMX’s “Party Up” plays as Kojack finally releases the hold. Kojack rolls out of the ring and walks to the back as a few fans yell obscene remarks at him. The refs check on the condition of Ced as the cameras are directed to a stunned Axis.

 

Axis: “What in the world was that about? What is Kojack trying to say?”

 

Edwin: “He wants some ice cream?”

 

Axis rips off his headset and there is some lovely feedback.

 

Axis: “FU[shrill]ING SHIIIII[shriiiiilllll]MOTHE[shrill]MMIT!!! I’m gonna go outside!”

 

Axis angrily marches to the exit as the camera switches focus to Edwin and Sacred.

 

Sacred: “Could you get drunk and punch a clown? I want a Neapolitan.”

 

Edwin: “Do it twice because I want a scoop, Axis! Folks, we’ll be right back, so stay where you are!”

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

Jumping back from commercial, the roar of the crowd is omnipresent as the camera pans to the inside of a large arena in Brisbane, Australia, the flashing "SJL METAL-SOLD OUT!" sign on the marquee outside signifying it as the Brisbane Entertainment Center, setting for tonight’s SJL event… SJL Metal! The shot then goes inside the arena, the crowd on their feet as they anticipate SJL Metal’s next live match! The camera cuts back from blackness into a shot of the arena. Decked out in JL gear, each fan joins in, but some carry signs, waving them in an attempt to get on TV. The few that do read "Poke-freaks of Brisbane!" with an arrow pointing down to three hott Ash fangirls, "SO SAYS THE CLAN!!!" "Vladmania is still alive!!!" "The Love Rollercoaster stops here!!!" and the mandatory "What?" sign or two. The camera continues to pan the arena of happy fans, then cuts to the announcers table, where Axis, Sacred, and Edwin sit smiling, though we can only see Axis. The mandatory stuffed panda is placed next to the Panda Wrangler’s monitor.

 

Axis: …And welcome back to SJL Metal, live from Brisbane!!! As usual, Axis here, joined by our guest Sacred-

 

Suddenly, Axis is cut off by a note of a didgeridoo, compliments of Edwin MacPhisto, at fortissimo loudness. In other words, it’s LOUD!!!! Axis cups his hands over his ears until Edwin stops, then he glares angrily at the Commissioner, who pops the earplugs out of his ears.

 

Axis: JESUS, EDWIN!!!!! Are you trying to blow our ears out with that thing?

 

Sacred: You mean the didgeridoo? That instrument of eeeeeevil?

 

Edwin: Aww… I was just practicing. I bought it today.

 

Axis: Three more matches… three more matches after this…

 

Sacred: But before we get to later tonight and some eeeeeevil action with The Clan… we are forced to watch two happy good guys go at it in the squared circle. I just hope Ash Ketchum or Xero does something eeeeeeeeevil.

 

Axis: Is the "eeeeeevil" really necessary?

 

Just then Sacred is cut off as the lights go out, the sold-out Brisbane crowd rising to its feet.

 

Edwin: YES!!!!

 

Sacred: Can I do something eeeeeeeevil, like give you a groin shot?

 

Axis: Three more matches after this…

 

Just then, the beginning of U2’s "Elevation" begins to play, the part at the beginning pumping the crowd up as a waterfall of pyro flows over the SmarkTron and shoots up in front of the entrance, like Christian’s entrance. But then, as the first words begin, the pyro in front of the entrance stops, a spotlight shining onto the stage, shining off Ash, who is in a Jericho-like pose. The crowd pops like there’s no tomorrow as the see the Poke Freak, shiny Tag Title clutched in his left hand. Misty is on his left side, wearing a sexy pink string bikini, her hair pulled back into it’s usual ponytail on the left side with a pink scrunchie, gold chain ankle bracelet on her left ankle, her arms on her hips smiling as Ash spins around from his Jericho pose and walks halfway down the ramp. Stopping his walking, Ash brings his right arm up straight in the air quickly and makes his signature split-finger victory sign with his right hand. At this point, five red pyro blasts shoot up from the stage in unison, right where the original pyro was. Ash and Misty release themselves from their poses and go down to ringside, Ash slapping hands with the fans and getting pumped up as a video of clips from his best IGNWF, JL, and ML matches plays on the SmarkTron.

 

Funyon: The following match is scheduled for one-fall and a win in the SWF CONTRACT TOURNAMENT!!! Introducing first… being accompanied by Misty, from Pallet Town.. weighing in at 255 pounds… he is a member of the SJL TAG/STABLES CHAMPIONS, X FORCE NINE… ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMM!!!!!

 

He climbs up onto the apron, throws his Tag Title Belt in, opens the ropes to let Misty in, then climbs in himself, removing his Jeff Jarrett-style sunglasses. Ash climbs the turnbuckle closest to the crowd and usually takes off his shirt, whipping it into the first two or three rows of the crowd, giving a lucky fan a souvenir to take home. Ash then hops off the turnbuckle as Misty poses next to him in a cute and sexy pose that drives the guys wild! A twelve year old Aussie Ash fangirl-in-training, front row, catches it, and she jumps up and down in excitement, happy to have something of her idol’s. Ash turns back around as the crowd chants his name, almost deafening in amplitude …

 

Crowd: ASH!!! ASH!!! ASH!!! ASH!!!

 

Edwin: I wish more wrestlers gave back to the fans like Ash…

 

Axis: Yeah… but who wants a sweaty shirt?

 

Edwin: It’s free, isn’t it? Free is good…

 

Sacred: Hmmmm… I guess…

 

Suddenly and abruptly, "Elevation" cuts out. Loud static is heard through the PA system, as the lights are completely fade to black. "Zero" by the Smashing Pumpkins is just blasted through the PA system, as Xero walks out with a tremendous cheer. While walking to the ring Xero stops in the middle of the runway, and points up in the air as plethora of fireworks explode behind him. Funyon raises up the mic to his lips, parting them to speak…

 

Funyon: And his opponent, from Port Colbourne… Ontario, Canada… weighing in at 204 pounds… XE-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

Axis: Xero’s acting a bit strange as of late, huh?

 

Sacred: He’s acting scaaaaaaaaary.

 

Edwin: Or maybe… is he going eeeeeeevil?

 

Sacred: Going evil? Don’t mind if I do…

 

After the fireworks are over, Xero charges down the ramp, slides into the ring, and crawls towards the corner, looking at Ash. The Poke Freak himself stares at this new Xero in total disbelief as Xero hops up, going back to his corner as the referee instructs the two men.

 

Axis: Remember… loser is out of the tournament! A lot is on the line for these two men!

 

Suddenly, the ref motions to the timekeeper, who reaches across the table, and…

 

DING DING DING!

 

Edwin: And awayyyyyyy we go!!!

 

The two men begin to move toward each other, but the scary new Xero charges full sprint at Ash, leaping into the air as he flips around, whipping them around and kicking them out, nailing Ash in the chin with a body-dropping dropkick! Ash and Xero hit the mat, but they quickly get up from the move. However, Xero gets on the offensive again, quickly drawing his arm back and pounding Ash in the forehead, hammering him with multiple punches that Ash cannot stop. As Xero hammers away, he grabs Ash’s right wrist, and finishing up his assault, pulls Ash toward him, pushing him on the back and whipping him to the ropes. Ash bounces off the ropes, flying back at Xero, who hooks Ash’s arm and falls to the mat, pulling Ash over into an arm drag. Ash quickly begins to get up the same time Xero does, but Xero grabs Ash by the wrist, whipping him to the ropes again, but this time Ash reverses the maneuver, sending Xero to the ropes. As Xero bounces back, Ash ducks down, setting Xero up for a back body drop, but Xero steps to the side of Ash, grabbing his head and pulling him back up. Continuing the hold, Xero steps behind Ash, falling back into a sitting position as he pull Ash back, slamming Ash onto his head and back with an Edge-O-Matic! Ketchum remains down, Xero falling forward and covering Ash, the ref dropping to the mat to make the count…

 

One…

 

T-No way, gringo! Ash quickly kicks out, Ash getting up a little slower than Xero as both men recover.

 

Axis: Did he think that was gonna be enough for the three-count?

 

Edwin: He’s crazy!

 

As the two men recover, Ash thrusts his leg out at the Canadian, but the quicker Xero catches hold of the foot, smiling sadistically.

 

Axis: Like you…

 

Sacred: Look at Xero’s smile! It’s ee-

 

Axis: Don’t start on me… (Axis points to Edwin.) Like him…

 

However, much to poor Xero’s dismay, Ash, hopping on one foot, leaps off that foot, flipping forward and nailing Xero with the toe of his right boot as Ash flips back, dropping Xero onto his back with a gravity-defying frontflip enziguri! Ash lands upon his feet as Xero gets up a slight bit dazed. Running back at the ropes, Ash leaps onto the top rope, turning around in mid-air as he leaps off it, extending his legs out and kicking Xero in the face with a slingshot missile dropkick, a variant of the Rocket Launch, that drops both men to the mat!

 

Edwin: Pandarific missile dropkick from The Undercard King!!!

 

Axis: Edwin, do you even know what you mean?

 

Sacred: HA! If you both keep talking, I shall be forced to enact EEEEEEEEEEVIL!!! Plan #3AQ256X1!!!!!!

 

Getting up, grabbing his jaw, Xero staggers toward Ash as he, too, gets up. Kicking Xero in the gut, the Canadian bends over forward, and encircling Xero’s head with his arm, Ash falls back onto the mat, DDTing Xero sharply into the mat! Xero’s head hits the mat and he falls onto his chest, but Ash flips him over and hooks his left leg, the ref dropping to the mat…

 

One…

 

T-Bah! Xero gets the shoulder up! Ash releases the pin, and both men start to show immediate recovery.

 

Axis: Huh? What’s that?

 

Sacred: I shall give you candy!!!!

 

Axis: WHAT????

 

Edwin: Thanks!!!!!

 

As Edwin tries to hug Sacred, Ash and Xero recover, getting to their feet, but before Xero can do much. Ash brings his arm back and strikes Xero in the face with a right hook, quickly following with a second right hook. Wasting little time, Ash grabs Xero’s arm, and in one motion, whips Xero to the ropes, which stretch under his weight before contracting. As Xero flies back at Ash, Ash lines himself up, extends his arms out, and dips down toward Xero, scooping Xero up across his chest as he spins and falls to the mat. Ash slams Xero hard into the mat with an Irish whip powerslam, the move squashing Xero’s back. Releasing Xero’s body, Ash gets onto his knees, eventually getting onto his feet, but running back to the ropes. As Ash bounces off them, he charges back at Xero, doing  a front somersault that rolls him onto his feet right next to Xero. Leaping into the air, Ash coils and uncoils his arms, flying at Xero with a rolling five-star frog splash, but Xero quickly brings his knees up, causing Ash to slam into them instead.

 

Sacred: What a low and eeeeeeevil blow from Xero!!!!

 

Edwin: So… what’s this about candy?

 

Ash bounces off those knees, flipping forward onto his back and rolling onto his back from momentum, getting back up and staggering as he grabs his ribs in pain.

 

Sacred: But that candy shall give you TOOTH DECAY AND COST YOU HUNDREDS IN DENTAL BILLS!!!!

 

Sacred rolls his eyeballs back into his head and cackles.

 

Edwin: Someone’s screwed up in the brain…

 

Axis: You know, you’re right for once…

 

Xero, tired of being humiliated, hops onto his feet, turning to face Ash and moving toward him. Upon reaching Ash, he grabs Ketchum around the head and by his shorts, lifting him up slightly and falling back into a snap suplex that flips Ash onto his back! Xero doesn’t release the hold, though, and as he gets up, he quickly floats over into a reverse chinlock, yelling loudly as he applies the hold! Meanwhile, Edwin begins to… laugh?

 

Edwin: Look at him!! He’s killing me!!!

 

The crowd begins to cheer and even laugh as Xero goes through the expressions of the hold, while Ash sits there, his face emotionless. He looks down at an imaginary watch, and reaching under his shorts, pulls out an imaginary magazine, which he flips through page by page. Reaching the centerfold, he unfolds it, and his expression of shock, complete with raised eyebrows, drives the crowd nuts and brings a laugh to the announcer’s table!!!!

 

Edwin: What a goofball!!

 

Axis: He’s practically no-selling the reverse chinlock!!!!

 

Sacred: He’s… interesting…

 

Throwing the "magazine" aside, Ash shrugs his shoulders and slowly begins to push himself up as Xero tightens the hold. Turning around, Xero’s chin already placed on Ash’s head, Ash grabs Xero behind the head and drops into a sitting position, countering the hold with a sit-down jawbreaker!!!! As Ash releases Xero, he dramatically bounces away, falling onto his back for a moment.

 

Edwin: And look at that! He hits a counter to boot!!!!

 

Axis: OK… don’t get overexcited Edwin…

 

Sacred: Toooo late.

 

As Xero rolls over and pushes himself up, Ash walks right over to him, grabbing his arms, hooking them, and lifting him up into the air for a double underhook suplex. Unfortunately for Xero, though, Ash drops onto his left knee, dropping Xero forward back-first onto his right knee with an underhook backbreaker, the Blastoise Backcracker!  Xero bounces off the knee, falling onto his back and grabbing it as the crowd cheers.

 

Axis: Nice backbreaker from Ash!

 

Standing on his feet, Ash looks around, and motioning with his arm, he points at the turnbuckle. Then, in true Hulk Hogan fashion, he cups his ear to the crowd and runs to the turnbuckle, leaping to the top rope ,and turning around. Facing a fallen Xero, Ash leaps off the top rope, flying through the air as he pulls his body into a sitting position as he falls, slamming his leg across the throat of Xero with a top rope guillotine leg drop! Meanwhile, Ash holds himself in place, pinning Xero to the mat as the ref drops down to make the count…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

T-No soup for Ash!!! Xero kicks out of the pin, stunning a sold-out Brisbane crowd and reducing them to silence for the moment. As Ash pushes himself up off his BUTT and onto his feet as Xero sits up, slowly rising to his feet.

 

Axis: A Hogan-esque leg drop from Ash Ketchum!!!

 

Edwin: Obviously, that was a way to give his thanks to the Hulkster for making Ash who he was!

 

As both men scramble to their feet, Ash strikes first, drawing back his right arm and thrusting it forward into Xero’s chest, palm first, into a quick palm strike, stopping Xero in his tracks. But before Xero can do anything, Ash clenches the same hand into a fist, swinging it up under the chin of Xero with a rising uppercut that knocks the psychotic Canadian down!!!

 

Axis: Edwin… stop with the damn theories. Ash is who he is because of years of hard work-

 

Sacred: Plus a gimmick that scares the eeeeeeevil out of me…

 

As Xero falls back, he hits the mat hard, but he slowly begins to recover, grabbing his jaw in pain. As Ash moves in for the kill, Xero spins 180 degrees, striking Ash in the stomach with the heel of his foot, a back heel kick that stops Ash in his place. The move also knocks Ash back toward the ropes, Ash grabbing his stomach as he bounces off the ropes, Xero sprinting for the other ropes and bouncing off them. As Xero rubber bands back at Ash, he leaps into the air, turning 360 degrees in mid-air as he strikes Ash with the heel of his right foot, knocking Ketchum to the mat with a running spinning heel kick! Xero falls to the mat as well, but he quickly gets up, a sudden boost of momentum propelling him to his feet, Ash recovering slower than Xero. Bending down as Ash approaches him, Xero cradles Ash, scooping up and flipping him around as he slams Ash forward onto the mat with a weak scoop slam, moving back to the nearest turnbuckle and leaping onto the top rope in one bound as he turns to face a lying Ash.

 

Axis: Looks like Xero's going for a high risk maneuver-

 

Edwin: FOREARM SMASH!!!

 

Axis: Edwin, that's not a high risk maneuver-

 

Edwin: Sure it is! What if you break your arm?

 

Axis: On your head…. maybe… since it's so damn thick…

 

Suddenly, Xero leaps off the top rope, flying through the air majestically as he flies toward Ash, his legs and arms close to each other as he contracts and extends his arms and legs, slamming on top of Ash like Eddy Guerrero with a frog splash! As Xero hits Ash, he remains on top of Ash, covering him for a quick pin…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Th-No way, Jose! Ash kicks out, Xero being thrown off Ash and landing on his back. However, with something keeping both men going, they both begin to get up, but as they get onto their feet, all sweaty and kinda smelly from fighting, Xero grabs the shoulders of Ash, jumping onto them as he wraps his legs around Ash's neck and flips back. The result of the move flips Ketchum into a hurracanrana that keeps him down as Xero lands on his knees.

 

Sacred: This match REALLY needs a meddling madman.

 

Edwin: Like you?

 

Sacred: Yessss… MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

 

Axis: Someone's got issues…

 

As Xero props himself up onto his feet, he looks down at Ash. Once on his feet, he bends over, grabbing Ash by the head and pulling him onto his feet. But as soon as Ash gets onto his feet, Xero, bending Ash over forward, grabs Ash behind the head, dropping into a sitting position as he drives Ash's face into the mat with an X-Factor style facebuster! Ash's face slams into the mat and he lies there motionless as Xero flips him over and hooks his leg, the ref dropping to the mat again…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Th-Oh no Mr. Bill!!!! Ash kicks out yet again! This time, Xero hops right back up, but as he does, Ash grabs the front of Xero's trunks and pulls him back onto his back, rolling Xero up into a roll up pin!!!

 

One…

 

Two-Wait a minute! Xero grabs the front of Ash's shorts, rolling him over onto his back with a roll up pin of his own!

 

Edwin: What a counter by Xero! The ref drops to the mat and here's the count…

 

One…

 

Two-Ash kicks out!!! Xero falls back as Ash falls forward, but Xero begins to get up again, facing away from Ash, who pushes himself up onto his knees. Looking back, Ash reaches up, hooking the arms of Xero as he pulls Xero back and slides him down his back into a backslide pin!

 

Axis: Amazing! And here's the count again!

 

One…

 

Two…

 

Th-NO!!!! Xero pulls his arms loose! Now sitting on top of Ash, Xero forces Ketchum down, grabbing Ash's left leg in the process and pulling it back into a single leg Boston crab as Ash cries in pain, reaching out for the ropes!

 

Sacred: What a bloody amazing sequence of moves!! Three pinning combinations into a submissions hold!!

 

Axis: It's off the charts!

 

Edwin: Pandarific!!!!

 

Ash reaches out for the ropes, nearly getting them on his first try, but straining his muscles, he gains a few inches, and those few inches make the difference as he grabs hold of the ropes, forcing a rope break. The ref notifies Xero, who unhappily releases the hold, grabbing Ash and pulling him up like a stuffed doll onto his feet. Grabbing Ash's right arm, he spins it around, wrenching it out as Ash bends over forward, but suddenly, Ash brings his left leg up, hooking it back as he strikes Xero in the face with a saving standing hook kick! The arm wrench is released as the blow momentarily stuns Xero. Ash quickly turns around, clutching Xero across his body from the side, one hand on Xero's back as he lifts Xero up and slams the Canadian down onto his back with a Rock Bottom… the Poke Rap!

 

Edwin: Poke Rap from Ash Ketchum!

 

Axis: The Undercard King counters out of an unlikely situation!

 

Edwin: Electrode, Diglett, Nidoran, Mankey, Venusaur, Rattata, Fearow, Pidgey, Seaking, Jolteon, Dragonite, Gastly, Ponyta, Vaporeon, Poliwrath, Butterfree!!!!

 

Axis: What the hell are you doing?

 

Edwin: Singing the Poke Rap…

 

As Xero's back slams into the mat, Ash hooks Xero's leg, covering him for yet another pin attempt…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

TH-NO!!!!  The paranoid Canuck kicks his way out of it!!!! Just plain unhappy, Ash gets onto his knees before pushing himself up onto his feet, bending over and grabbing Xero's head.

 

Axis: Close… but not close enough!!! Ash nearly had him!!!

 

As Ash pulls Xero onto his feet, he grabs him around the neck and right arm, setting him up for a guillotine choke known as the Bind, but secretly, Xero locks in a waistlock, and kneeing Ash to release the headlock, Xero lifts Ash up and falls back, slamming Ash onto his back with a belly to belly suplex!!! Ash falls, landing sharply on his back, and he sits up in result, grabbing his back in pain as Xero gets onto his feet. Xero sits up, hopping slowly onto his feet as Ash slowly tries to turn to face Xero. Bad call. Thrusting his leg out directly into Ash's face, Xero superkicks Ash square in the face, causing him to stagger back into a nearby turnbuckle he is lined up with. Ash drops into the corner as Xero follows in close pursuit.

 

Sacred: Where'd Xero come from?

 

Edwin: Another momentum shift! Xero's in command!

 

Grabbing Ash, Xero lifts him on top of the turnbuckle, hopping onto the top rope to follow. Moving behind Ash, Xero grabs him under both arms, pressing them against the sides of Ash's head as he turns around to face the crowd, setting Ash up for a dragon superplex! But in a twist of fate, Ash hooks Xero's right leg with his left, breaking out of the hold and grabbing Xero under the arms, hooking them into a full nelson! Leaning forward, Ash falls back off the top rope, both men slamming into the mat with a top rope full nelson Russian leg sweep!!!!

 

Axis: Look at that! Rock, Paper Scissors!!!

 

Edwin: I'll play!

 

Axis: That's the name of the move, you idiot…

 

Xero and Ash slam hard into the mat from the top rope, remaining motionless for a second as the ref begins the count. By the time he gets to two, Xero sits up, grabbing his head and staggering a bit as he pushes himself up onto his feet. Just plain tired, Ash slowly begins to get up, getting onto his feet two as he moves toward Xero. However, Xero thrusts his leg out for a second superkick, this one being ducked by Ash, who drives his knee into Xero's chest. Xero bends over forward as Ash takes a step back, stepping forward as he jumps, swinging his left leg up and down, planting it on the mat as he mimics it with his right foot, this one hitting Xero in the head! Xero falls down to the mat, face slammed into canvas thanks to a scissors kick…

 

Edwin: AIR KETCHUM DEUX!!!!

 

Axis: Yes Edwin, we know…

 

As Xero hits the mat he rolls onto his chest, perpendicular with the nearest turnbuckle. Going to that same turnbuckle, Ash leaps to the top, turning around to face Xero.

 

Sacred: Here comes that eeeevil Snorlax Splash!

 

Sacred couldn't be more right as Ash leaps off the top rope, coiling and uncoiling his arms as he flies, slamming into a stationary Xero with a five star frog splash… the Snorlax Splash! Able to control the reaction of the move, Ash remains on top of Xero, effectively pinning him to the mat!

 

 

One…

 

Two…

 

THRE-SO DAMN CLOSE!!!! But Xero gets a shoulder up!!!! Unbelievable! Ash and the crowd are shocked as the Pokemonster begins to get up, his very chances of ever achieving his goal of WF World Champion hanging partially in the balance! Getting almost onto his feet, he bends over, grabbing Xero and pulling him up, but as he does, Ash grabs Xero by the chest and lower abdomen, lifting him up into a body press over his head!

 

Axis: Ash is setting Xero up for the dangerous Johto Street Cutter III!!!

 

Edwin: There's no way he can escape it!!!

 

But as Xero is held in the air, he moves slightly. Just before Ash is about to drop him into the Johto Street Cutter III, he throws his legs off Ash's hands, falling forward toward the mat, but as he does, he grabs Ketchum around the head, pulling him down with him into a simply amazing DDT!!!!

 

Sacred: What an eeevil counter!!!

 

Axis: But Xero gets the job done!!!

 

An "SJL!" chant races through the crowd as Ash's head slams into the mat hard. Meanwhile, both men begin to get up, a race to see who can make the first move.

 

Starting to get up, Xero turns to face Ash, not the brightest thing as Ash turns to face him, the crowd really into the match by now. Ducking down, Ash slides Xero onto his shoulders, and before Xero can react, swings Xero over his right shoulder, Xero’s head placed between Ash’s legs as he drops into a sitting position, driving Xero’s head into the ring with a devastating cradle Samoan Driver!!!!

 

Edwin: YEAH!!! MEW DRIVER!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!

 

Meanwhile, Ash rolls Xero up for the three count, the ref dropping to the mat to make the count…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

THREE!!!!

 

 

 

NO! XERO KICKS OUT! The crowd moans as Ash remains sitting up, exhausted and tired, neither making the next move.

 

Axis: You won’t… you know…

 

Edwin: GO CRAZY????? Don’t mind if I do!!!!! Wooooooooooooooo!!!! (Axis elbows Edwin in the ribs as Sacred looks on.)

 

 

Sacred: Shut up Edwin.

 

Edwin: Funky!!!

 

Axis scowls as Ash pulls up Xero, grabbing him around the neck and bending of them forward, attempting what seems to be a swinging neckbreaker that would take both competitors down. However, as he gets ready to swing Xero around, Xero knees him in the chest, causing him to kind of stop, but Xero carries the momentum, swinging Ash around onto his back into a swinging neckbreaker that knocks Ash down!!!

 

Axis: The crowd is dead silent!!! Xero may have this match in hand!!!

 

As Xero gets up, he makes a throat slashing motion, obviously signaling for one of his finishers. Staggering to the corner, Xero braces himself against it, and then… he begins to ascend it. First rope, second rope… he's at the top. He turns to face a helpless Ash, and with a little prayer, Xero leaps off, flipping himself clockwise 270 degrees as he flies toward Ash into a shooting star press… the Absolute Xero!!! But as Xero is about to hit Ash, Ketchum rolls farther away, and Xero slams into the mat chest first violently, the ring shaking horribly as he bounces onto his back, grabbing his ribs and screaming in pain.

 

Axis: OH GOD!!! XERO MAY HAVE BROKEN HIS RIBS!!! HE MISSED BIG TIME AND PAYS FOR IT!!!

 

Edwin: Twenty bucks says The Clan ends up showing up. Edwin the Genius says so.

 

Axis: I’m not betting you twenty bucks!!!!

 

Edwin: Edwin’s Panda Senses detect he is right…

 

Sacred: Panda senses? Who the hell are you, Pandaman?

 

Axis: DON'T GIVE HIM ANY MORE IDEAS!!!

 

Meanwhile, tired and weak, Ash pushes himself up onto his feet, Xero grabbing his chest in total pain and slowly staggering onto his feet, not knowing Ash has done so. Ketchum then climbs to the top rope, turning his back to Xero. As Xero turns his head up and looks toward Ash, spotting him on the ropes, Ash leaps off, twisting into a Phoenix Splash. As he flips, he positions himself so his head faces Xero, then continues the flip. When he gets near to the young high flyer, he grabs him by the neck and flips himself onto his back, flipping Ash’s buddy forward into an amazing spiked DDT! As Ash releases Xero, he falls over onto his back. Exhausted and ready to end it, Ash drapes an arm over Xero as he covers him, the ref dropping to the mat to make the count…

 

One…

 

Two…

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!

 

The bell rings as Ash rolls onto his back and Misty excitedly jumps up and down while her man slowly tries to get up, sweating profusely. Funyon,, outside the ring, brings the mic to his lips as the crowd cheers.

 

Funyon: Your winner… ASH KET-CHUMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

 

Axis: WHAT AN ENDING!!!!!  WHAT A MATCH!!!!

 

Sacred: I don’t believe it!!!! The Poke Ball, Go wins it again!!!! Eeeeeevil doesn't prevail! Shoot!!!

 

Ash slowly rises onto his feet, exhausted from the battle, as Misty runs into the ring. She excitedly hugs Ash, who kisses her on the cheek. But suddenly, the crowd boos loudly, and as Ash takes a look up on the stage. Standing there is none other than… Shawn Brody? He is smiling from ear to ear as he stands, staring at Ash, who looks all but confused. Brody chuckles, and then, as soon as he appeared, he turns and heads back stage, Ash confused.

 

Sacred: What the hell was that about?

 

Axis: Maybe Brody wants a fight!!!

 

Edwin: Maybe Brody wants some cookies!!!

 

Axis: SHUT UP!!!! I think The Clan has a plan… involving Ash. That's why Brody came out. To tease the guy.

 

Sacred: But coming up soon, it's more tourney action event you can't miss, here on SJL Metal!!!

 

The camera then begins to fade away from the shot of Ash into a commercial for "SJL Down Under!!!!"…

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

[A despondent teenager, too lazy to remove himself from the couch suffers in mindless silence, as mindless images of products and mindless TV promos burst on the screen.  The bombardment of quick images and sounds is all he is able to digest as years of watching the boob tube has rendered him a sluggish human being.  Somewhere............

 

 

 

 

a television executive laughs.

 

 

 

 

As his friends (not caught in the web of apathy) return from their hourly constitutional to the refrigerator, washroom, or what have you, they shake their heads at the sorry sight, and resume their post on the couch.]

 

 

“Hey Joe, want some nachos and dip?  Brought an extra bowl just for you.”

 

“UUnnngggghhhh............. foood.......... GOOD...........”

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“.................yes.  Thank you.”

 

[As Murphy’s Law renders its evil head, the same lazy teenager drops the dip, causing a nasty cheese stain on the couch and his pants.  Hearty laughter reddens his cheeks as the television goes blank, the final commercial finished.  One of the more intelligent ones in the bunch speaks up.]

 

“Now, can we please refrain, FOR ONCE, from not destroying what could be a fun night with that stupid chan........”

 

“WHAT?!”

 

“Ugh......... never mind.”

 

[Finally settling in and shutting up, the high school boys revert their attention to the grainy 13 inch TV precariously teetering on top of a wobbly TV tray.  The black and white parental warning fades into nothingness and leads way to a shot of the Brisbane Entertainment Center, right in the heart of Brisbane.  A muted roar can be heard as the camera zooms in on this structure, as a scrolling marquee on the sign in front proclaims a “SOLD OUT” SJL Metal.  Cutting from that camera, to one located in the core of this modernized Coliseum...........]

 

Axis: “Welcome back to SJL METAL!!!!”

Sacred: [snores]

 

[Panning the rowdy Australian crowd, the cameramen catch a many number of signs being waved in the air, almost as many as the number of plastic beer cups.  The droning guitar riff loops every 13 seconds, as the crowd screams and yells, hoping for some more action to whet their appetites for............ action.  “WF Interference = RATINGS!!” and “I’m Edwin’s Aussie Fling!  KIYAHAHAHA!!” are just two of the signs that catch a momentary second in the limelight.  Hitting number five with his count, the main cameraman ceases the allotted “Pan the crowd with free use of zoom and focus effects” time, and brings the camera to a rest on the Prince of Flash and Panache, the most Evil guy this side of Equator, and......... Axis.  Both Axis and Edwin stare at Sacred on their right, who has his head buried into the crook of his arm on the desk, and is snoring his head off.  A number of empty Pepsi Max cans are standing like soldiers on the desk.]

 

Axis: “Right here in Brisbane, at the very arena I visited when I was a lil’ laddie, we’ve had one hell of a night so far, despite what you’d gather from Sacred here.”

Edwin: “Hey, don’t be so rough on the guy.  Evil masterminds need nappy time too, ya know.”

Sacred: “.........sssssshhhhhuuuunnnnnhhhhhh.............”

Axis: “Well that’s just super.  Almost as much so as it’s been tonight!  We’ve already laid witness to a TV Title match between Brody and Kojack, as well as a fast-paced Four Corners match!”

Edwin: “I’d just like to say this to ya Axis.......... no one can segue to a mindless plug for the program like you.” [Pats Axis on the shoulder]

Axis: [sniffs]  “Thanks man.  I try my best, you know?”

Sacred: [snores LOUDLY]  “........SSSHHHUUUUHHH.......wheeeeeeeeeew....... I........ I didn’t cut the cables, I swear..........”

Axis: “Well up next, we are sure to continue hitting on all cylinders, what with another great match from the SWF contract tournament!”

Edwin: “And if we don’t, we’ll blame it on this screwy hemisphere!  A teehee.”

Sacred: [in a women’s voice] “............oh Mister Sacred........ I do declare, you are the most evil person I have ever met...............”

Axis: “We should really wake him up.  He’ll miss this match between Renegade and K-Os.”

Edwin: “You know that saying, “Let a sleeping dog lie”?  What if it pertains to evil people?  WHAT THEN?!”

 

[before Axis can decide whether or not to reply to Edwin’s inane rambling, Funyon walks up to the middle of the ring and looks out to the crowd.  He begins to speak when........]

 

Funyon: “The following matc - AGH!”

 

[An empty Pepsi Max can hits him in the left side of his head!  Looking around in shock, Funyon’s eyes come to a stop on Edwin who begins to chuck another can at him!]

 

Funyon: “NO!  STOP - AH!”

 

[Funyon narrowly dodges the second one, then begins his speech again, talking as fast as he can while he dodges the barrage of silvery cylinders.]

 

Funyon: “Thenextmatchis WHOA!......... foronefallandispartofthe WAH!........ IspartoftheWFcontracttournament!”

 

Axis: “What the hell are you doing?!”

Edwin: “Iunno.  Just seemed like we were kinda low in the evil department, what with Sacred here asleep.”

Axis: “Well don’t bug Funyon, WAKE SACRED UP!”

Edwin: “Oh..........”

 

[Wiping the sweat off his brow, Funyon notices the onslaught has ceased and continues on normally, as Edwin begins to shake Sacred awake.]

 

Funyon: “Whew........ as I was trying to say, this match is for one fall and is part of the WF Contract Tournament!!  Introducing first..........”

 

“PICK UP THE PACE!”

 

[As Slipknot’s “(SIC)” screams from the speakers, the crowd begins to get on their feet!  The curtain at the entranceway rustles, and stepping through it, the Renegade Mastah walks out to the top of the ramp!  The few cheers he receives are drowned out by the thousands of fans booing him.  Not worrying about such trivial matters, Renegade looks down................]

 

 

*****BANG*****

 

 

[Then glances up as he gives himself a self high five, setting off a MASSIVE pyro from the stage!  The flames burst into life, then slowly begin to die back down as Renegade stomps his way down to the ring, slapping himself across the chest.]

 

Funyon: “Introducing first, coming to the ring now, standing six feet six inches tall and weighing in at 260 pounds............... REEEEEEEEENEGAAAAADE!!!!!!!”

 

Edwin: “Saaaaacred........... oh, Saaaaaaaaacred.......... wakie wakie.”

Sacred: [Muffled voice against arm]  “Unh......... leemee lone.”

 

[Diving into the ring, Renegade climbs the near left corner and raises his right hand to the crowd, as Funyon reshuffles his cue cards, frantically searching for the right one.  The referee stands around, twiddling his fingers as Renegade hops off the near left turnbuckle and repeats the procedure on the opposite corner.]

 

Axis: “These men have a long and storied path, there’s no disputing that.  The last few times, K-Os has managed to end up on top in the end, but after his loss on Crimson, I’ve gotta wonder what frame of mind he’ll be in.”

Edwin: [Gently pushes Sacred]  “It’s time to wake up.”

Sacred: “Zaaah?........... Ugh, I dreamt I was faw aray.........”

Axis: “Fine then, force me to hold a conversation with myself.  Back to the point, the same thing can be said for Renegade.  After a tough loss to the......... unusual Lady Red, he may not be at one hundred percent.  Whatever the case, this’ll be a humdinger, with both men itching for a win.”

 

[While Axis stews, and Edwin thinks about Kangaroos, and Sacred wakes up, Funyon finally finds the right card.]

 

Funyon: “Ah, there you are......... oh wait, this is on........... cursed malfunctioning mute button.  AND HIS OPPONENT...................”

 

******CRACK******

 

[An ear-splitting peal of thunder bursts from the speakers, scaring.......... no wait, evil people aren’t scared of things......... JOLTING Sacred back to consciousness.  As the already standing crowd begins to unleash some heat, red pyros stream across the gaping entrance at the stage area.  “Down” replaces the thunder with booming guitar riffs, as K-Os steps out from the back.  The red pyro reflects off the golden belt around his waist, while he looks down at the metal grating.  Until........]

 

****BOOM****

 

[Glancing up, K-Os sets four HUGE flames from the sides of the stage which light up the arena!  While the bright light temporarily stuns the crowd, K-Os begins his trek to the ring.]

 

Funyon: “Standing six feet one inch tall, weighing 259 pounds........ he is the SJL WORLD CHAMPEEEEEN........... KAAAAAAA-OSS!!!”

 

[Walking casually up the steel steps in the far left corner, K-Os steps to the apron and twists his face in a snarl at the crowd before sliding in deftly between the ropes.  The referee quickly interposes between the two wrestlers before they can start any before match festivities.  Shoving the ref out of the way, K-Os walks to the near left corner and climbs to the middle turnbuckle.  As Renegade watches intently from across the ring, K-Os removes the belt and raises it at the crowd, who in turn raise middle fingers at him.  With a scowl, K-Os tosses the belt to the referee, then hops off the turnbuckle and pulls at the ropes.]

 

Sacred: “...... huh?  I was in this delightfully evil dream.  I dreamt I was on Crimson, and sabotaged the show by cutting the wires.  You all cried while I laughed my evil lil’ head off............”

Axis: [snorts]  “Ha!  Like that would ever happen.”

Sacred: [Looks to the ring]  “That’s odd......... It was K-Os in my evil dream as well.  Huh.......”

Edwin: “What I find really perplexing.......... why in Australia were you asleep just now?”

Sacred: “Oh......... uhhh..........”

Axis: “Did the evil genius need some beauty rest?”

Sacred: “Simpleton!  What LOOKED........ looked like sleeping was really just......... just......... a diversion!  Yes, it was a diversion..........”

Edwin: “And what, may I ask Mister Sacred was our attention diverted from?”

Sacred: [Deep in thought]  “Well......... the thing is.............. uh, you see............ well it wasn’t a diversion!  It was my master plan!  Yes!  An evil master plan!  I pretended I was dead!  And when you saw me, you thought I was dead and became sad!  So, my trickery made you sad, which is a bad feeling and consequently, proved my evilness!”

Edwin and Axis: “.............riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.”

Sacred: “You doubt me?!”

 

[While Sacred shakes his fist at both Edwin and Axis, the referee hands the Championship Belt to the outside and signals for the bell.]

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

[The crowd begins to come alive again, as the two men walk out from the corners, and begin to circle around each other, neither willing to make that first mistake.  The referee tells them to go at it, but both are playing by their own rules now.  With a start, Renegade steps forward and reaches for a grapple, but both men shove away after a mere split second.  Taking a more casual stance, Renegade backs off and wipes his hand across his face, as the crowd pops with the anticipation getting to them.]

 

Sacred: “Evil genius is never respected in its time.”

Edwin: “And how!”

Axis: “These two men know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, they are almost evenly matched up in the size department, with Renegade just being a few inches taller.”

Sacred: “Ah, but you forget the most important factor............”

Edwin: “I’m guessing something to do with evil!”

Sacred: “.................... dammit!”

Axis: “This is true, K-Os now has the allegiance of the Clan with him, whereas Renegade is a lone wolf.”

Edwin: “Evil dude with the three pointer from downtown!”

Sacred: “Don’t patronize me, you freak of human nature.”

Edwin: “Ouch!  Evil dude with the diss on Axis!”

Axis: “But he meant......”

Edwin: “The BURN from down under!  That’s gotta hurt!”

 

[back in the ring, Renegade and K-Os eye one another, then begin to go back for a tie-up when K-Os stops midway.  Raising his opened right hand in the air, K-Os looks at Renegade with a smile across his face.  The crowd boos heartily as Renegade looks up at the outstretched hand.]

 

Sacred: “Ooooohh, I love this dirty trick!  It always turns out good!......... I mean evil......... I mean.......”

Edwin: “Evilly good?”

Sacred: “Exactly!  I’d thank you if I weren’t evil but I am, so........... you’re ugly.”

Edwin: “Come on Axis, stand up for yourself!”  [Nudges Axis]

Axis: “Maybe going to sleep isn’t such a bad idea............”

 

[The referee yearns to caution Renegade, but in the name of fair play, sits back and watches as Renegade begins to raise his hand as well.................

 

 

 

 

and NAILS a left hook to the face of K-Os!  The crowd gives out a small pop as Renegade hits K-Os with a flurry of punches, sending him reeling back to the right ropes!  WHAM!  CRACK!  Just as K-Os finally backs up into them, Renegade stops the onslaught and grabs the right wrist of K-Os.  With a hard Irish whip, K-Os is sent hurtling to the left side, and as he rebounds off the ropes Renegade sweeps him off the mat and plants him back down with a Pulling Sidewalk Slam!  Staying on top of K-Os, Renegade yells at the referee to count the pin.]

 

ONE!!

 

 

TW - kick out!

 

Edwin: “Seems Renegade was too smart for that dirty trick.”

Sacred: “K-Os just wasn’t evil enough.  If I had been in there, I’d easily hit a quick eye gouge, maybe a low blow perhaps......”

Axis: “So you would’ve cheated?”

Sacred: [sighs]  “You see, the problem here is you don’t understand the whole “Being Evil” thing.  It goes like this...........”

 

[As Sacred explains the finer points of Heel 101, Renegade gets to his feet and begins to stomp down on K-Os, pinning him to the mat.  After the fourth shot, Renegade looks over his shoulder then steps back into the ropes.  Bouncing off them, Renegade leaps into the air and drops his leg right across the neck of K-Os!  While K-Os grabs at his throat, Renegade remains seated on the mat for a second, catching his breath then grabs the oily hair of the Clan member and drags them both to their feet.]

 

Sacred: “.......... so in conclusion, the referee’s are blind as mice, and many corners can be cut to get the win.”

Axis: [Wide-eyed]  “So its actually okay to cheat.........”

Edwin: “No Axis!  Stay away from the Dark Side!”

Axis: “But.......... the rewards......... the power......... the women..........”

Edwin: [slaps Axis]

Axis: “OW!........... oog........... thanks I needed that one Edw.......”

Edwin: [slaps Axis again]

Axis: “OW!  Dammit, you can stop now, I’m fixed!”

Edwin: “Heh, oopsie.  Guess I got a little slap happy........”

 

[Rearing back for a punch, Renegade goes to the well one time to often as K-Os anticipates and blocks the punch, nailing a shot of his own!  A stinging chop pushes Renegade back to the left ropes.  Seeing a bulls-eye across the torso of Renegade, K-Os winds up and..........]

 

CRACK!

WHOOOOOOOO!

CRACK!

WHOOOOOOOO!

 

[The third shot knocks the wind out of Renegade’s sails, causing him to sag against the ropes.  Taking a few steps back, K-Os charges at Renegade looking for a clothesline..........

 

 

 

but Renegade ducks at the last second, back dropping K-Os over the ropes!  At the last possible second, K-Os grabs wildly and snags a hold of the top rope, landing very clumsily on the ring apron.  Stunned for a moment that he didn’t take the ride, K-Os looks to the inside............]

 

 

WHAM!!!

 

 

[A hard jumping back kick catches K-Os across the jaw, and sends him flying off the apron!  Hitting the ground hard, K-Os skids up the ramp slightly!  A quick grin flashes across the face of Renegade before he slips between the ropes and hops to the outside, as the referee begins a count-out.]

 

ONE!  

 

Axis: “What happens if they both get counted out?  Would that mean they both lose?  Then you’d have two guys already with two losses, and that’d kind of screw up the tournament..............”

Edwin: [His usual grin fades away]  “...................”

Sacred: “Zounds!  Why didn’t I think of that?!”

Edwin: “REF!!  REF!!”

 

[The commish’s wild gestures are met with the back of the referee as he leans out of the ring to count the men out.  Renegade hurries over to K-Os, and nails a hard boot to the stomach that elicits an “Oooh” from the crowd.]

 

TWO!  THREE!

 

[Pushing weakly to his feet, K-Os attempts a half-hearted punch, which is easily blocked by Renegade.  A hard boot to the abdomen doubles up K-Os, and Renegade latches on a front facelock.]

 

Sacred: [is turned around to the fans behind him, talking to a child]

Axis: “What’s he doing now?”

Edwin: “Iunno.  He’s saying something about Santa.  It’s not like I’m his mother.  If I were he’d be a lot more pleasant to be around.”

Sacred: [Turns back as the child cries]  “Muahahaha............ another disillusioned child for next Christmas........”

Axis: “You twisted bastard.”

 

[Just before Renegade can drop him head first on the outside with a DDT, K-Os saves himself by grabbing Renegade around the waist and pushing him back, slamming his spine into the apron!  Releasing the front facelock, Renegade bends backwards in pain as K-Os stumbles back.]

 

FOUR!  FIVE!

 

[shaking the hurt out of his head, K-Os refocuses on his foe and sees his target again.  After a hard right hook to the face of Renegade K-Os follows it up with a chop to the chest!  Over and over, K-Os wails on Renegade, as the referee’s count continues.]

 

SIX!  SEVEN!

 

[As the vein in Edwin’s neck begins to bulge in stress, K-Os unwittingly saves the commish from a breakdown by rolling back into the ring to stop the count.  The referee yells at him to bring it back in the ring, but K-Os ignores him and rolls back to the outside, beginning another count.  Landing on his feet, K-Os turns towards Renegade, but is surprised as Renegade grabs him by the legs, and lifts, hot-shoting him throat first onto the bottom rope!  Bouncing off the ropes, K-Os collapses to the ground gasping for air as Renegade leans on the apron.]

 

ONE!  TWO!

 

Edwin: “Well, at least we are now reassured the ref has a firm grip on counting to 10.”

Axis: “You can always find a silver lining, can’t ya?”

Edwin: “Yeuporooni!”

Sacred: “Oh yeah?  What if I were to piledrive you through this announcing table, utterly destroying your pathetic existence?”

Edwin: “Ratings!  Kiyahahaha!”

Sacred: “It’s no fun when they don’t care...........”

 

[Collecting a weakened K-Os off the rubber mat, Renegade spins around and tosses his opponent back into the ring, causing a reaction from the crowd!]

 

Edwin: “Geez, he just rolled K-Os into the ring........”

Axis: “The crowds is not popping at that, look at the ramp!”

 

[The noise from the crowd is actually from another source...............

 

 

 

Shawn Brody!  With a wrapped right hand, and a heavily taped knee, Brody has a slightly noticeable limp!  As the referee conveniently turns around to check on the status of K-Os, he misses the fellow Clan member come rushing out from the back!  And so does Renegade!]

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

[A hard forearm to the back sends Renegade to the ground!  Brody immediately jumps on his prey, pummelling him with a barrage of fists as he straddles the Renegade Mastah!  The crowd’s boos are deafening, but the black and white striped uniform shields the ref from such awareness!  Pulling Renegade up, Brody latches on a quick facelock.  Jumping forward, Brody plants his feet up on the apron, then pushes off and drops to the ground, spinning and dragging Renegade down with him!  Dropping Renegade head-first to the ground, Brody immediately gets to his feet and hops over the near crowd barrier!]

 

Axis: “BRODY JUST NAILED RENEGADE WITH A TORNADO DDT OFF THE APRON!!!”

Edwin: “On the outside as well.............”

Sacred: “How evil............”

 

[As Brody shoulders past the stunned people in the crowd, the referee finally turns around looking for Renegade.  Not seeing the wrestler, the ref moves closer and looks over the ropes to see Renegade’s body laid out on the outside!  Turning to the right, he sees the crowd milling around, and looking back, but he just misses a glimpse of the perpetrator as Brody deftly escapes!  Inside the ring, K-Os suddenly bolts off the mat, and looks around to the angered crowd with a smirk.]

 

Axis: “What?!  K-Os was just playing possum!  It was all a set-up!”

Sacred: “This kid is nothing!  He’s just stealing all my signature moves!”

Edwin: “Playing dead is your signature move?”

Sacred: “Worked on you guys before didn’t it?”

Axis: [sighs]

 

[Dropping to the mat, K-Os rolls to the outside and stalks around the fallen body of Renegade.  Grabbing his left arm, K-Os hoists Renegade up on his shoulders, then shoves him underneath the bottom rope back into the ring.  Diving in, K-Os immediately hooks the leg for the pin!]

 

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH - NO!

 

[Just as the referee’s hand nears the mat for the three count, Renegade lifts up his left leg and props it on the bottom rope!  Seeing this, the referee stops at the last instant, and yells “TWO!”]

 

Axis: “NO!  K-Os won’t be stealing this one!”

Edwin: “Renegade may be battered, but he sure as hell ain’t beaten.”

 

[Looking at the referee in disbelief, K-Os’ rage is apparent as he slams his fist to the mat.  The crowd heckles this little temper tantrum, until K-Os finally smartens up and realizes he is on the offensive.  Getting to his feet, K-Os sees the leg on the ropes and quickly walks over to the exposed limb.   Holding the top rope, K-Os jumps up into the air, and drops straight down onto the left knee if Renegade, buckling it on the ropes!  The crowd boos as K-Os replaces the leg back on the rope, and slams back down on to it!]

 

Sacred: “He’s trying to break the leg!  Magnificent!”

Edwin: “How can you take joy in such a horrific event?”

Sacred: “Iunno......... just kinda happens.”

Edwin: “Ah................”

Axis: “If it wasn’t for that damned Brody, this would be a whole different ball game!”

Edwin: “But this isn’t baseball.  This is wrestling.  And who said you Aussies could even use baseball as a metaphor anyways!  You have your cricket and your rugby, play those!”

 

[The pain arcing through the nerve fibers in his leg cause Renegade to yell out in agony.  Hearing this reassurance, K-Os grabs the left leg and drags Renegade to the corner of the ring.  Sliding to the outside, K-Os retains hold of Renegade’s left ankle and pulls him to the steel post.  Bringing the leg to the far left of the post, K-Os grabs a firm hold and rushes around the post, SLAMMING the joint into the hard, unforgiving steel!  The crowd groans as Renegade bolts up to a sitting position on the mat, yelling in anguish but finds himself helpless to stop K-Os.  Grabbing a hold of the leg again, K-Os returns to the left side and forcibly curls the leg around the pole again!]

 

Sacred: “Now this is my kind of wrestling!”

Axis: “Wrestling?!  What wrestling?!  K-Os is just cheapshotting Renegade after a run-in!”

Sacred: “My point exactly!  I’m loving this..............”

 

[Hearing the ref’s reprimands, K-Os slides casually back into the ring as Renegade scoots away from the corner.  Watching gleefully as Renegade tries unsuccessfully to stand up, K-Os dashes forward and grabs the weakened leg again, and drags Renegade to the middle of the ring before dropping to the mat in a simple leglock.  The referee drops to check for a submission by Renegade, as the crowd begins to rally behind him.  Pushing his back off the mat to keep his shoulders from being down, Renegade props himself up, his face still racked with pain.  For seconds, the two warriors remain intertwined as K-Os applies torque to the hold.]

 

Axis: “Such a simple yet effective tactic.  This could be setting up something down the road.”

Edwin: “Who’s thinking about down the road, K-Os may have it here, Renegade is already weak from Brody’s interference, and K-Os’ subsequent attack!”

 

[The referee continually asks Renegade if he submits, but the Renegade Mastah shakes his head defiantly.  Pushing with his right arm, Renegade quickly rolls the opposite way catching K-Os off guard!  Both rolling to their stomachs, K-Os loses hold of the leglock!  Thinking fast, Renegade grabs for his opportunity, namely the legs of K-Os under him!  Putting his right leg between them, Renegade snatches them before K-Os can pull away and stands up into a Sharpshooter!  The crowd pops like weasels as he twists the closer right foot of K-Os!]

 

Edwin: “A REVERSAL TO THE RAGE!”

Axis: “IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!”

Sacred: “These nimrods cheer this man like he was some kind of athletic hero of sorts to them.  I just don’t understand it.”

 

[The referee, already on the mat, alters his line of questioning to K-Os.  Renegade begins to sit back into the hold, but suddenly releases the legs, and falls forward holding his left knee.  Both men squirm on the mat, as the crowd dies down.  While K-Os crawls towards the left ropes, Renegade begins to push to his right knee.]

 

Axis: “Renegade put himself in just as much pain as K-Os, trying to apply such a hold with a bum leg.”

Sacred: “Man, I shouldn’t have even woken up.  My dreams are much more evil than this drivel.”

Edwin: “My dreams are always in black and white, with this lil’ panda dancing around whimsically.  Heh, I laugh just thinking about it.”

 

[Pulling himself up rope by rope, K-Os turns around to see Renegade tenderly getting to his feet and putting pressure on the left leg.  Rushing forward, K-Os dives and chop blocks Renegade, taking him back to the mat!  The crowd boos as Renegade clutches at his bent knee.  As the referee bends down to check on Renegade, K-Os crawls out of the ring to the outside on the right.  The crowd on the right side comes to life, snapping pictures of the champ as he shoves Funyon out of the way, and grabs his World Belt!]

 

Sacred: “Here we go!  I’m all a flutter in excitement!”

Edwin: “Of all people, you shouldn’t be fluttering.  Perhaps ‘stalking’, maybe ‘hurting’, but not ‘fluttering’.”

Axis: “It’s conversations like these that make NTD look like a god.”

 

[sliding back into the ring, K-Os stands up and hobbles over as Renegade begins to valiantly stand back up.  Lunging forward with what little strength he has left, K-Os dives at Renegade....................

 

 

 

 

 

who ducks the belt shot.............................]

 

 

 

WHAM!!!

 

 

Axis: “Ooohhhhh........”

Edwin: “Ahhhhhhh.......”

Sacred: “Sweet!”

 

[The crowd echoes the sounds from the announce table as K-Os takes out the referee with the belt!  Sliding to the left side of the ring, the referee comes to a stop motionless!  K-Os and Renegade struggle up to their feet, and slowly turn towards each other.  Raising the belt back up, K-Os goes to finish the job, but Renegade hobbles forward and nails a punch, stunning the champ!  Hopping tenderly forward, Renegade follows it up with another punch, causing K-Os to drop the belt!]

 

Axis: “What the hell is this?!”

Edwin: “Not this again!”

Sacred: “MUAHAHAHA!!”

 

[As the camera pans to the right side of the ring, it finds Shawn Brody climbing over the barricade next to the announcer’s table!  Grabbing the chair that Funyon vacated earlier, Brody folds it up and dives into the ring!  Renegade, sensing something amiss, turns around and sees his attacker...................

 

 

 

but not before Bordy nails a chop block, jabbing to chair into the knee of Renegade!  The crowd boos with all they’ve got as Brody slides out the opposite side of the ring!  Pushing off of the ropes, K-Os nods at his Clanmate and then staggers towards a crippled Renegade!]

 

Axis: “This is not right!”

Sacred: “Oh, this is ten different kinds of right!  Because it’s wrong!”

Edwin: “I won’t even try to understand that............”

 

[Turning away from Renegade, K-Os bends over and grabs both of Renegade’s legs, then steps over into the Heart of Darkness!!  (Reverse Liontamer)  The crowd’s heat seems to energize K-Os, who sits as far down into the hold as humanly possible, while Renegade tries to ignore the pain that is pulsing through his body!  Renegade reaches for a rope, but finds that he is dead centre in the ring!  Feeling the tendons stretch, and muscles burn with pain.....................

 

 

 

Renegade taps!  But the ref is still out!]

 

Axis: “Renegade is tapping to the Heart of Darkness!”

 

[As Renegade’s palm rapidly crashes to the mat, the referee slowly begins to move!  The crowd’s heat is deafening until.................

 

 

 

 

Renegade scrambles towards the ropes!  Realizing that submitting hasn’t removed the pain, Renegade conjures up the last reserve in his body and crawls to the ropes!  The crowd boos turn to a volley of cheers as the referee sits up and Renegade inches to the ropes...............

 

 

 

 

closer........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

even closer....................

 

 

 

 

 

within an fingertip of reaching it...........................

 

 

 

 

AND RENEGADE TAPS!!!  The referee signals for the bell as Renegade slumps to the mat, the pain overbearing him!!]

 

 

DING DING DING!!!

 

 

Funyon: “The winner of this match by way of submission at 18:26......................... KAAAAAAAAAA-OSSS!!!!!”

 

Axis: “Renegade gave it his all, but the damage to his leg was too much!”

Edwin: “K-Os moves on with a huge assist from Brody!”

Sacred: “Ooohhh!  An encore!”

 

[sure enough, true to the liar’s words, Brody dives back into the ring and quickly shoves the ref out of the way.  After K-Os releases the hold and slumps to the mat beside Renegade, Brody takes aim with the chair and..............]

 

 

 

CRACK!!

 

 

CRACK!!

 

 

[Nails two BRUTAL chairshots to the leg of Renegade!  The crowd’s heat is symbolized by the garbage thrown in the ring!  Slowly to his feet, K-Os motions for the chair.  Taking it from Brody, K-Os opens it and puts Renegade’s foot inside!  As the crowd draws eerily quiet, knowing what’s to come, K-Os moves to the far left corner and climbs the turnbuckle...............

 

 

 

with one last look over his shoulder, K-Os leaps up................ flips backwards................

 

 

 

 

and lands a moonsault on the chair, CRUSHING Renegade’s leg!  The fallen warrior’s yell can be heard throughout the arena!]

 

Axis: “SOMEBODY GET HELP!!”

Edwin: “K-OS JUST DESTROYED REN’S LEG!!”

Sacred: “...........muahahaha.........”

 

[Fade to commercial as K-Os and Brody stand over Renegade]

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

The frequencies of millions of TV sets flicker on at an instant as they tune in to their local Smarks stations for tonight's edition of SJL Metal! Their timing couldn't be better because as they switch over to the Smarks channel, the commercials have just ended and now the show resumes. Of course, the millions missed the first half of the show but they don't really care. It's Wednesday and they were watching an encore presentation of the Glutton Bowl!

 

"(Axis) Ah, suddenly our ratings have plunged through the roof!"

 

"(Edwin) I wonder why!"

 

"(Sacred) Introduce the next match, you fools!"

 

"(Axis) Yessir, you crazy sir! Well folks, we're continuing the SWF contract tournament. We've already seen spectacular technical wrestling in the likes of our World Champ, Renegade, Ash Ketchum, and Xero. Now we'll see the four guys who upsetted these four strongholds, as they are the winners of last week's tournament matches!"

 

"(Edwin) Huh?"

 

"(Sacred) Huh is right. Axis has obviously drank too much London Ice Tea at his pathetic imitation of bachelor's party."

 

"(Edwin) You're getting married, Axis?"

 

"(Axis) No, I wish I was."

 

"(Sacred) Hence, the word 'imitation'."

 

As these three guys continue blabbering, Funyon takes his mark inside the squared circle as the fans in the Brisbane Entertainment Centre rise to their feets. The Smarkstron flickers on to life, displaying the many clips of the TKO. The video plays to the yellow stream of pyrotechnics which soar down from the sky, exploding in three alternating waves of silver sparks! "Sleep Now in the Fire" by Rage begins to play as these outback fans begin jumping up and down, cheering as loud as they can.

 

"(Funyon) The next match is scheduled for one fall and is for the bye to the SWF Contract Tournament Final Round! Introducing first, from Rochestor, New York, weighing in at 267 pounds, being accompanied by Dana Callaway! FLLLEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!"

 

Flexxx, with his lovely wife Dana by his side, walks out from behind the curtains, arm in arm. The Lone Star Fighter flips up the split finger victory trademark in the air, pumping up some fans as the two Callaways continue their walk down the ramp.

 

"(Axis) Well, Flexxx is with his wife Dana tonight!"

 

"(Sacred) Well of course. It's a special occasion. Dana should be there when that freak of a porno star beats Erek Taylor!"

 

"(Edwin) I sense some tension in your voice."

 

"(Sacred) Do you also sense the violent threats I'm sending you now?"

 

"(Edwin) Yes, yes I do. And since I do, I will keep quiet."

 

"(Sacred) Good."

 

Flexxx rolls into the ring as Dana circles the outside area, watching as her husband performs some stunning poses and stretches in front of the thousands of female fans in the arena. Correction: the female fans in the arena who watch porn. The cheers continue until the volume is suddenly upped greatly! The Entertainment Center begins to dim, to a near dark as spotlights of multiple colors begin to wave throughout the stage. The spotlights dance to the music of "Toxicity", while smoke begins to conceal the black curtains. Finally, as the lyrics begin to start, a giant pyrotechnic explosion rocks the arena, and in unison, all the spotlights shine down at the top of the ramp. Slowly, the lights return to normal and the shadow of Erek Taylor blazes down the ramp.

 

"(Funyon) And his opponent! From Anaheim, California, weighing at 215 pounds, he *is* the SJL European Champion!!! EREK........ TAAAAAYYYYYLLLLLOOOOOOORRRRRRR!!!!!"

 

Deafening. The only word that can describe the volume of the cheers being handed to the High Flying Prince. The female fans are screaming at the top of their lungs, the men are chanting his name, and why not? Erek Taylor mindlessly spins around, surveying the arena with his eyes while using his hands to pump up the millions! Taylor breaks off into a run, handing out high fives to the front rowers before tossing the European Title belt aside and rolling inside the ring.

 

"(Axis) The ovation is so damn loud!"

 

Taylor gathers to his feet and begins to lock eyes with the Lone Star Fighter. The referee separates the two before slicing the air in the middle, signaling for the match and the bell to begin.

 

***Ding ding ding!!!***

 

Taylor and Flexxx begin to circle the ring, piercing each other with their eyes. They move to the middle and engage in a lockup but Taylor ducks under Flexxx's arms and shoots up a knee into Flexxx's gut. Flexxx doubles over in pain as Taylor spins the Lone Star Fighter around and decks him with a hard right. Flexxx staggers back, but manages to regain his footing and retaliate with a punch of his own. Taylor gets spun around and Flexxx starts to take the early advantage, pummeling Erek Taylor back with repetitive rights and lefts.

 

"(Axis) The Raging Porno guy with lots of X's in his name is taking it to Erek!"

 

"(Sacred) And that's surprising, because?"

 

"(Edwin) Well, Flexxx usually takes it to his opponents late at night, when they're sleeping. That way, he can be sure that his kendo stick actually hits the opponent."

 

"(Sacred) Are you saying I'm dumb?"

 

"(Edwin) Um, no?"

 

"(Sacred) That's it! I'll see you in the parking lot!"

 

"(Axis) OOoooooOOoooOOOOooooo....."

 

"(Edwin) ...mommy..."

 

Flexxx corners Taylor over at the buckle, squares up and lashes out with a tremendous backhand. The chop makes a sickening thud, heard around the arena in loud volume.

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

 

Flexxx lays out another chop.

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

 

SMACK!

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

 

SMACK!

 

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

 

Taylor lets his jaw hang open, showing the pain that this Lone Star Fighter is inflicting upon him. Flexxx grabs Taylor by the wrist and whips him to the opposite corner before racing in and delivering a follow up clothesline. Taylor staggers forward and Flexxx bends down, flipping Taylor into the air with a back body drop. Immediately after Taylor crashes down on the mat, Flexxx scrambles down to hook the leg of the High Flying Prince.

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TW- no! Taylor kicks out at two.

 

"(Axis) First pin of the night results in an early kickout."

 

"(Edwin) That shouldn't be a sur-"

 

"(Sacred) Oh, I swear. Say one more thing and I will give you the beating of a lifetime."

 

"(Edwin) ....."

 

"(Sacred) Better."

 

"(Axis) You're gonna take this from him, Edwin?"

 

"(Edwin) Well, actually I persuaded myself not to embarass Sacred in front of his family so I decided not to fight back."

 

"(Sacred) What, you think you can beat me?"

 

"(Edwin) I'm not saying I can beat you...."

 

"(Sacred) Good."

 

"(Edwin) I'm saying I can literally embarass you of your countrymen and literally make you get exciled from Australia."

 

"(Axis) Oh ho ho!!"

 

Flexxx drags Taylor back up to his feet and with the stroke of a fist, knocks Taylor a few paces back with a punch. Flexxx moves in for more but Taylor quickly thrusts two fingers forward, poking Flexxx in the eyes and buying himself some time. Flexxx staggers back, his hands covering his face as Taylor races in and shoves Flexxx into the corner. Taylor lets it all out, darting in a batch of shots into Flexxx's gut. Flexxx feels his stomach collapsing as Taylor grabs him by the wrist and sends the Porn Man whipping to the ropes. On the rebound, Flexxx tries to retaliate with a clothesline but Taylor ducks under and swings a fast leg across the bottom, tripping Flexxx down to the ground. Taylor quickly mounts himself on Flexxx's back and grabs the Lone Star Fighter's leg. Carefully positioning his hand, Erek Taylor pulls Flexxx's leg back, bending it as far as he can as he locks in the Single Crab on Flexxx.

 

"(Axis) Single Crab leghold."

 

"(Sacred) You wanna try doing all the things you said Edwin?"

 

"(Edwin) I'll be more than happy to but I am civilized so you'll have to wait like the millions of guys waiting in line to show me a piece of their mind."

 

"(Sacred) Oh you're askin for it."

 

Taylor pulls the leg back far, so far that it's causing Flexxx to wail as loud as he can. Dana shows a look of concern on the outside, eventually slapping the mat to encourage her husband to recover. Flexxx tries reaching for the ropes, it's not that far. Pretty close in his eyes. Flexxx stretches out with all his might, and circles his hand around the bottom rope. The referee sees this and quickly restrains Taylor from anymore leg submissions. Taylor shoves the referee aside and grabs Flexxx by the hair, bringing the Lone Star Fighter to his feet before decking him with a hard right. Taylor grabs Flexxx by the wrist and whips him to the ropes. On the rebound, Taylor swings a mighty clothesline but Flexxx ducks under and the momentum carries him to the opposite ropes. Flexxx rebounds for a second time and tries to get the tables to turn his way, leaping into the air for a clothesline but Taylor anticipates the manuever, dropping down on his back and using his feet to press Flexxx off into a monkey toss! Flexxx crashes near the ropes, shaking up the entire ring as the fans let out a mystical awe.

 

"(Axis) Great monkey toss!"

 

"(Edwin) Can we please stick to the match?"

 

"(Sacred) Why?! You scared? You *will* fear Sacred's inquisition!"

 

"(Edwin) Oh brother, that is *sooo* 1991."

 

Flexxx slowly staggers to his feet, grasping his back in pain as he leans on the ropes for balance. Erek Taylor seizes the opportunity and races in, bringing a forearm across Flexxx's neck, clotheslining the Porno Star out of the ring. Immediately, the front row fans reach out, trying to touch, to tap, to get a feel of a SJL Superstar. They don't get that much time, though, as they quickly pull their hands in, watching as Erek Taylor bounces off the far ropes and races in, leaping up on the top rope and slingshotting forward, knocking the staggering Flexxx with a missile dropkick!

 

"(Axis) Great airtime! Erek Taylor soared for that dropkick!"

 

"(Sacred) Are you saying that I'm old?"

 

"(Edwin) Yes, yes I am."

 

"(Sacred) I am *not* old!"

 

Taylor spins back to his feet, in an impressive display of breakdancing and acrobatics. The girls in the arena give a loud "Whoo!" to encourage the XF9 heart-throb. Taylor grabs Flexxx by the hair and throws him hard into the steel stairs, knocking it out of position. Flexxx, however, doesn't fall. Instead, he is bounced back up from the impact and is spun around on contact with the High Flying Prince. Taylor grabs Flexxx by the wrist and whips him straight into the steel pole! The impact sends Flexxx spinning around until the Lone Star Fighter crashes into the barricade, right next to the announcer's table!

 

"(Axis) And apparently the action has spun into our focuses!"

 

"(Edwin) You and your damn puns."

 

"(Sacred) You calling me a pun?"

 

"(Edwin) Hanging out with HVT all this time has apparently decreased your IQ."

 

Flexxx pants for air, his arm on the barricade, supporting his Lone Star body. Erek Taylor races in at top speed, arms outstretched, obviously going for a clothesline. But Flexxx has other things planned and quickly bends down, using Taylor's speed to his advantage, and flips the High Flying Prince over the barricade! The plan backfires as Taylor catches his balance in the air and lands perfectly on the other side. With swift reflexes and all, Taylor leaps up on the barricade and slingshots forward, grabbing Flexxx by the head and planting him to the ground with a diving bulldog! The fans roar with excitement!

 

"(Axis) Great move by Erek Taylor!"

 

"(Edwin) Yes, that was something I haven't seen for a long time."

 

"(Sacred) This coffee tastes weird. It's probably from England......"

 

"(Edwin) Grrrrr....."

 

Taylor slowly drags Flexxx back up to his feet before rolling the Lone Star Fighter back in the ring. Taylor slides back in and quickly crawls over, hooking Flexxx up for the pin.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- but somehow Flexxx manages to kick out!

 

Taylor shows no impatience, and instead, brings Flexxx back up to pummel him with a hard right. Taylor shoves Flexxx into the corner and quickly races in, landing on the Lone Star Fighter a furious kick to the midsection! Taylor continues his assault, delivering kick after kick after kick. Eventually the kicks turn to stomping but that doesn't seem to affect Taylor's conscience, proving to be a bad thing for Flexxx. The referee starts counting but before he can even start, Taylor ceases the stomping and brings Flexxx back up to his feet. Taylor grabs Flexxx by the wrist and whips him to the opposite corner but Flexxx spins around, countering the whip and flooring Taylor with a desperation clothesline!

 

"(Axis) Flexxx with the exclamation mark! A counter to Taylor's momentum!"

 

"(Sacred) I sense a shift in power."

 

"(Edwin) For once, I agree with you."

 

Flexxx takes a minute to grab a hold of himself. He's obviously out of it tonight. Perhaps the Raging Porno Man did something unacceptable on Dana's terms? *wink wink* Flexxx finally rises to his feet and moves over to the staggering Erek Taylor and decks him with a hard right. Taylor gets knocked back but the High Flying Prince shows why he's a contender, quickly retaliating with a forearm. Flexxx staggers back and tries to counter attack but the speed of Erek Taylor proves too much, and Taylor flies in with another forearm. Flexxx gets pushed into the buckle, his old nemesis. Taylor rushes in at full speed but at the last second, Flexxx dives out of the way, sending Taylor crashing into the corner. Flexxx drives an elbow into Taylor's face before grabbing the High Flying Prince by the wrist and whipping him to the opposite buckle. Flexxx rushes in quickly after, arms outstretched for more damage. But Taylor anticipates the manuever, racing up the turnbuckle and backflipping over Flexxx. And just as he's about to land, Taylor combines his boots together and delivers a kiss dropkick to the backside of Flexxx's head before crashing down on the mat. The fans cheer in excitement and disbelief!

 

"(Axis) What did he just do?!"

 

"(Edwin) That was blooooooddyy brilliant!"

 

"(Sacred) You would think so but I've seen better."

 

"(Edwin) Does encouraging people give you *that* much of a problem?!"

 

Taylor flips back up and catches the dizzy Flexxx with a shove to the ropes. Flexxx rebounds hard and the effect of the dropkick has not worn off, allowing Taylor to follow the whip with an easy clothesline. Taylor quickly drops down and quickly slings an arm around Flexxx's neck, cranking in the Sleeper as Dana, on the outside, starts shouting inaudible words at Taylor. The referee quickly gets down, asking Flexxx for submission but the Lone Star Fighter stubbornly refuses. Flexxx tries to elbow his way out but Taylor takes the punishment and continues with the Sleeper, knowing that he has the advantage.

 

"(Axis) Sleeper Hold by Erek Taylor. Is this the end of Flexxx?"

 

"(Sacred) Beaten by a measley sleeper? I think not!"

 

"(Edwin) See? That wasn't so hard!"

 

"(Sacred) Oh shut up you."

 

Taylor continues the hold, occassionally shaking Flexxx's head around to add more pain and suffering. The referee asks for Flexxx's submission but no answer comes out of the Raging Porno Man's mouth. Finally, the referee decides to start the countout. Grabbing Flexxx's hand, the referee raises it into the air before letting it go on its own. Flexxx's hand drops like a stone.....

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

The referee points up one finger and shouts out the number as well. It's procedures. The referee grabs Flexxx's hand once more and raises it like before. Letting it go, the official watches as the hand, once again, drops like a stone.

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

Taylor cranks up the pressure once more, not taking any chances because of their previous match together. The referee raises Flexxx's hand into the air, and lets it go. The hand drops like a ston- WAIT! The hand doesn't hit the ground! The referee sees this! Sections from the crowds are cheering while the rest remain silent. Flexxx slowly shakes his hand, showing that he still has signs of life. Dana encourages her husband even more, slapping the mat repeatedly. Flexxx slowly turns around and drives an elbow into Taylor's midsection. Flexxx shoots another elbow up Taylor's gut, loosening up the Sleeper. Finally, the grip is weak enough to break and Flexxx does so before rising up to his feet and pummeling Taylor with a hard right!

 

"(Axis) Flexxx is up! He's up!"

 

"(Edwin) So Sacred was right."

 

"(Sacred) Of course I was right. I'm always right."

 

"(Edwin) Hmph, in your dreams...."

 

Flexxx turns the tides, backing Taylor to the corner with repetitive rights and lefts. Knowing that there's no way out, Taylor tries throwing a punch but Flexxx easily blocks it and sends a harder and faster fist into Taylor's face! Bruising and beating, Flexxx grabs Taylor by the hair before throwing the High Flying Prince over the top rope, expecting him to crash down like everyone else. But the Euro Champ has other plans on his mind, landing on the ring apron and preventing himself from falling by holding on to the ropes. Flexxx turns around to find Erek Taylor there, not surprisingly. Flexxx quickly lunges forward and swings a mighty arm but Taylor ducks under and shoots a shoulder through the ropes, doubling Flexxx over. Taylor rises back up and slingshots over Flexxx and the ropes before pulling the Lone Star Fighter over into a Sunset Flip!

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- and once again, Flexxx kicks out!

 

"(Axis) Flexxx refuses to give up!"

 

"(Edwin) And why should he?!"

 

Both Taylor and Flexxx rise up to their fighting stances, glaring at each other with intensity. Flexxx makes the move first, diving ahead and swinging an unguided fist. Taylor capitalizes on that mistake, ducking under and grabbing Flexxx around the waist. With one thing in mind, Taylor hoists Flexxx into the air before planting the Lone Star Fighter to the mat with a diving spinebuster! Flexxx's legs bounce up like a slinky and Taylor catches it, placing it into a "V" formation before crossing it up and spinning around, putting on the Sharpshooter hold! The fans rise to their feets, some chanting for Erek, some chanting for Flexxx. The referee scrambles down again, in a position he knows too familiar. Flexxx grimaces in pain, grinding his teeth as he tries to reach for the ropes!

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor with the Sharpshooter Hold! A devastating leglock that puts pressure on your calfs!"

 

"(Edwin) Too much. Flexxx has got to tap out!"

 

"(Sacred) No! He will never tap out! Never!"

 

Taylor arches his back greatly, putting more pressure on Flexxx, almost forcing the man to tap out. Flexxx tries to reach the ropes but his legs are too tangled up to crawl! With no way out, Flexxx thinks about tapping. He feels his hands go up and tap the mat furiously but the referee doesn't see it!! Dana has gotten up on the apron and is distracting the referee from the match! Taylor notices that something's wrong and lets go of the hold, lunging for Dana but like her husband, she slips away quickly before the partner wakes up.

 

"(Axis) No!!! Dana has crossed the line!! She's helping her husband out!!"

 

"(Sacred) What's wrong with helping?"

 

"(Axis) Nothing. But helping to screw someone over?!"

 

"(Edwin) I have to agree with Axis."

 

"(Sacred) Like you always do. Suckup."

 

Taylor shouts words at Dana, not knowing that Flexxx is slowly staggering to his feet. Taylor turns around and is caught by surprise. Flexxx quickly drives a boot into Taylor's gut, doubling the High Flying Prince over. Flexxx quickly slings Taylor's arm over his neck and begins to flip him up into the air for the Golden Gun but Flexxx's legs are giving in and Taylor walks away with a stomach pain. The High Flying Prince tries for some offense but Flexxx doesn't want to get into another lock and desperately drives another boot into Taylor's gut before planting the High Flying Prince down to the canvas with a Spike DDT! Both men collapse right after, the wind taken out of both of them and with only the SWF contract in their sights!

 

"(Axis) Flexxx with the desperation move!"

 

"(Edwin) If anyone is capable of beating Erek, it's Flexxx. No offence to anybody but this man is the one who beat our World Champ and came oh so close to dethroning Erek."

 

"(Sacred) The key word there is 'close'. He almost got it but he didn't."

 

"(Edwin) Encouragement Sacred. Is it *that* hard?"

 

Both men continue to lie motionless in the ring. Dana begins slapping the ring, cheering on her husband. The referee sees no movement and begins to start the countout.

 

ONE!!

 

No movement.....

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!

 

"Erek! Erek! Erek!" The crowds begin chanting at the top of their lungs.

 

FOUR!!

 

 

FIVE!!

 

Taylor slides an arm up but doesn't rise yet, and so, the count continues.

 

 

SIX!!

 

 

SEVEN!!

 

 

Flexxx rolls over on his stomach and tries to push himself up but the pain is just too unbearable and he collapses back down.

 

 

EIGHT!!

 

NINE!!

 

Not wishing for a double disqualification, Taylor staggers up, his balance obviously hurt as he walks around like a drunken monkey. The fans let out a roar of appreciation as Taylor grabs Flexxx by the hair and brings the Lone Star Fighter back up to his feet.

 

"(Axis) Erek is up!"

 

"(Sacred) You know you're cheering for the guy who, in about five or six days, is going to break your record of longest European Title reign?"

 

"(Axis) DAMN YOU EREK! DAMN YOU!!"

 

"(Edwin) Hehehehehe....."

 

Taylor swings a right and miracously hits Flexxx in the face. Flexxx staggers back in a display of poor wrestling. It's either that or both men are completely worn out and are seeking one, just one, surge of adrenaline. Taylor shakes his head, waking himself up from his trance and lunges forward with a minimal punch. Flexxx catches it in the air and retaliates, knocking Taylor with a harder fist. Flexxx lays down a barrage of rights and lefts, backing Taylor to the buckle before grabbing Taylor by the wrist and sends him whipping him to the opposite turnbuckle. This time, there's no energy for Taylor to counter and the High Flying Prince goes crashing into the three pads, hard. Taylor staggers forward, arching his back in pain as Flexxx races forward and once again, slings Taylor's arm over and tries to lift him up for the Golden Gun.

 

"(Axis) If Flexxx hits the Golden Gun, this one's over. Period."

 

"(Edwin) That's *if* he hits it."

 

"(Sacred) Erek Taylor has done a nice job of evading that move but I think his chances at evading it are done."

 

Flexxx flings Taylor up but the High Flying Prince manages to twist and turn, spinning from Flexxx's grasps and lands down behind the Lone Star Fighter! Taylor quickly reaches up, grabbing a hold of Flexxx's head, and to the cheers from the crowds, pulls Flexxx's head down, crashing the neck with the shoulder! FAME AND FURY!! The impact of the infamous neckbreaker sends Flexxx bouncing into the air before finally falling down motionless, almost paralyzed. Taylor crawls over and puts an arm over Flexxx's body.......

 

"(Axis) FAME AND FURY! NOOOO!!!"

 

"(Edwin) Ha! Now it's over!"

 

"(Sacred) DAMN YOU! I LOST TEN BUCKS!"

 

The referee quickly scrambles down to count......

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE- OOOOHHHH MMMYYYYY GOOOODDDD!!! NOOOO!!!! Dana grabs her husband's leg and puts it on top of the bottom rope before shouting out to the referee! The referee sees the leg and quickly stops the count, now being paraded with infinite boos!

 

"(Axis) Dana screws over Erek Taylor once again from a victory! She's literally cheating to help her husband win!"

 

"(Edwin) That's <censored> up! I'm gonna <censored> that <censored> <censored> ho!"

 

"(Sacred) I might still have a chance at winning ten bucks."

 

"(Edwin) WHERE THE HELL IS X FORCE 9 WHEN YOU NEED THEM?!"

 

Taylor covers his face in agony, exhausted and furious. He knows he had that one but once again, he misjudged the lady on the outside. Taylor rises to his feet and yells at Dana before rolling out of the ring and engages in a pursuit of the Lone Star Wife! Taylor wisely chases Dana for awhile before bending under the apron, away from Dana's sight, and going back the other way. Dana doesn't see this coming, eventually running right into the chest of Erek Taylor! Taylor grabs Dana by the hair and rolls her into the ring. Fury has definetly got into Taylor's head as the High Flying Prince folds up a chair and tosses it into the ring!

 

"(Axis) Erek, don't do it!"

 

"(Edwin) This isn't you! Come on Erek! Let it go!"

 

"(Sacred) Yeah, hitting a girl is something Axis does."

 

The referee tries pulling the chair away from Taylor but there's no stopping the High Flying Prince. Erek Taylor grabs the chair and starts banging it on the buckles before turning to Dana, who's tears are dropping from her cheeks. She raises her hand, begging for mercy as Taylor raises the chair up high! The crowds are all silent, waiting to see what happens! Some are chanting "YES! YES! YES!" while others show remorse for the wife.

 

"(Axis) Here it comes!"

 

The referee tries reasoning with Taylor but seemingly, nothing is going into Taylor's head. Dana starts crying even more as Flexxx slowly catches his vision back. At the sight of seeing Dana in harm's way, he lets out a long, loud....

 

"(Flexxx) NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

 

Taylor swings the chair!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....and the ropes are the ones that gets hit! Taylor throws the chair out of the ring, scolding at Dana, pointing to the outside and making a statement that interference is forbidden! The crowds let out applause in respect, appreciating Taylor for the noble deed. Flexxx begins to stagger but Taylor slaps him back down and places Flexxx's legs into a "V" position. Taylor crosses it up and spins around, locking in the sharpshooter! The referee goes down and urges Flexxx to submit but before he can, Taylor reaches down with his free arm and circles it around Flexxx's neck, cranking in the Sleeper Hold and completing the Execution Submission Hold!!

 

"(Axis) Erek did the right thing. Let the girl go."

 

"(Sacred) He should have hit her. Should have given her what she deserved."

 

"(Edwin) Now who's the Axis?"

 

Dana stays in the outside, tears still burning on her cheeks as she watches on, not trying to interfere anymore. Flexxx finally realizes it's over, and taps the mat furiously. One, two, three. The referee quickly signals for the bell and this one's over.

 

***Ding ding ding!!!***

 

"(Funyon) The winner of this match........ Erek......... Taaaayyyyllooooorrrr!!!..... "

 

Taylor lets go of the hold with no restraints. He rolls out of the ring, grabbing his European Title belt before leaving with "Toxicity" in the background. Dana slides into the ring and crawls over, comforting her husband as she watches Erek Taylor disappear into the black.

 

"(Axis) Erek Taylor nabbed this one after plenty of screw overs, courtesy of Dana Callaway."

 

"(Edwin) That's ten bucks, Sacred."

 

"(Sacred) B*stard."

 

The fans give their dues, applauding as Flexxx is helped out by Dana. The two Callaways slowly walk up the ramp. And like how they entered this matchup, they leave this matchup the same: side by side, arm in arm.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

(The Brisbane Entertainment Center goes wild as they realize the cameras are again trained on themselves. Wild Austrailians cheer and pose for the camera, holding up such signs as "YOUR true Television champion: Mike Van Siclen!" and "Lady Red? Bloody hell!". Cut to the announcer table where Axis, Commisioner MacPhisto and Sacred are sitting, headphones on and ready to announce more SJL action!

 

Axis: Welcome back to what has been so far an incredible night of wrestling action! Insane TV title action, a four corners match, and now we have for you the last of four WF Contract tournament matches taking place tonight!

 

Edwin: Correct again my invisble globe segmenter! Double elimination goodness as two more one and oh wrestlers match up to get an all important bye into the final round! Low Brass, coming off a slightly surprise victory over current World Champion K-Os faces off against a former stablemate of his, Lady Red.

 

Sacred: Evil, pure evil she is. She must win... evil SHALL TRIUMPH!

 

Axis: Sacred, shut up. Talking about match good, talking about evil bad.

 

Sacred: But evil is bad, and bad is good, and good is evil! Mwa ha ha!

 

Axis: Edwin, never let me doubt your faculties ever again.

 

Edwin: I'll remember that, I have the mind of a giant panda!

 

Axis: Are giant pandas known for remembering well?

 

Edwin: How should I know? I just wrangle them. WRANGLE! Wooooo!

 

Axis: You know it's bad when even Ted Flink won't take this job folks...

 

Sacred: Remember, if either of these two lose, they are still in the tournament, neither has lost. The loser here will take on any other one loss opponent in a vital elimination match on Crimson. Those winners will face off for a contract, as will the two and oh winners. Then all three of us will have fresh meat with which to pound and do.... ooooooh, eeeeeeeviiiiiiil things to.

 

(Axis and Edwin stare at Sacred in shock)

 

Edwin: Hey, *I'm* the crazy one allowed to be occasionally lucid, got that?

 

Sacred: *whispering* Damn, my plan is being worked out.... must tinker, must adapt....

 

Axis: We can still hear you, our headphones are connected to each other.

 

Sacred: Damn!

 

(The lights dim inside the arena, as red spotlights train on the curtain entrance to the ramp. A low, resonating tinny synthesized note echoes through the hall. Funyon is startled, looks left and right in confusion then stands up to start introductions.)

 

Funyon: *speaking slightly quicker than normal* Ladies and Gentlemen, this match for one fall is for a bye into the finals of the SWF Contract Tournament!

 

Axis: What the hell? Did we take too long setting up the match?

 

Edwin: Or is someone a little impatient...?

 

Sacred: Preemptive Strike! How evil! and Square-ish in design.

 

(A slow, electronic funeral march begins to play, as the Smarktron lights up with two inverted teardrops surrounding a set of eyes. The teardrops bleed beyond sight of the screen, as a figure appears throught the curtain. Completely enshrouded in a ceremonial hooded red flowered kimono, the figure marches in time to the music, the theme to 'A Clockwork Orange'

 

Funyon: Coming to the ring first, from the Shinjuku region of Tokyo, Japan...

 

Lady Red: *brandishing a microphone from hidden the depths of her elaborate outerwear* Silence, cretin!

 

(Funyon stares shocked at the woman's curt tone)

 

Axis: How dare this.... *woman* insult a SJL, and for that matter, SWF mainstay!

 

Edwin: True, no class, unlike your humble Commissioner!

 

Axis: Well, at least Lady Red doesn't lie that often.

 

Edwin: Exactly.... hey!

 

Lady Red: *throaty harsh voice* Your tongue shall remain still for my entrance.

 

(Funyon sits down, not wanting to interfere in JL buisness)

 

(THe kimono clad woman resumes her slow march towards the ring. Reaching the ring steps, she pulls back on her hood, revealing a strikingly beautiful raven haired oriental woman. Her face is painted white, save for two inverted blood red teardrops surrounding her eyes, trailing off to a point at her cheeks. Her face is still, showing no sign of emotion. Working the elalborate silk knot at her back holding the garment in place, the assassin drops the kimono to the ground, revealing her skin-tight crimson bodysuit. Walking deliberately up to the ring apron, she picks up her microphone again, and enters the ring. The music stops, and the lights come back up in the arena.)

 

Lady Red: My speech is short. Low Brass, you called me friend once. Now, I am your enemy. You will learn too late that there is no such thing as 'friend'. There is only yourself.... and the near dead. So says the Clan.

 

(The woman turns to face Funyon, and throws her microphone hard at tehe announcer, barely grazing the man's right ear. Turning to the far corner, Lady Red walks over to the turnbuckle and stands rigidly by it.)

 

Axis: And what the hell was *that* supposed to mean?

 

Sacred: Well, to someone who understands the mind of pure evil, much like myself, it makes perfect sense.

 

Edwin: That perfect sense would be, oh sacrilgiously named person?

 

Sacred: Why should I tell you?

 

Edwin: To keep me from stylin' and profilin' all over your dead ass?

 

Sacred: Does the mystery bother you? Mwa ha! I won't tell..... because I'm eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevvvvviillllll! Waha!

 

Axis:*whispering to Edwin* Edwin don't worry, I have a consignment of police outside the arena for him.

 

Edwin: *whispering back* But fruntgrubbly, he actually hasn't done anything *illegal*

 

Axis: *whispering* First, we'll say he stole his US belt, secondly.... what the hell is 'fruntgrubbly'?

 

Edwin: *whispering* never mind....

 

Sacred: Wa ha! I can hear you two also! I know your puny little plans and I shall thwart them in pure evil fashion! Fear me! Wa ha ha!

 

Axis: Low Brass, please come in now, bring Munich with you.... bring the Carnies, bring every face you can think of....

 

Edwin: Yes.... bring the Midnight Carnival.... we like Sacred at the Carnival....

 

Axis: Huh?

 

Edwin: We like Sacred...... *lower* ...dead....

 

Axis: Heh.

 

Sacred: Huh?

 

(The arena's lights inexplicably change color and brighten, bathing the entire arena in green. A bent saxophone note rings out, and the audience explodes in cheers. The bald X Force 9 member walks out, wearing a black dress shirt with his customary shiny gray cargo pants,  as 'Brass Monkey' by the Beastie Boys plays through the arena, with vocal accompanyment from the crowd.)

 

Funyon: The opponent, representing X Force Nine.... from Redmond, Washington, weighing in at two hundred thirty three pounds.... LOW BRASS!

 

(The arena turns back to its normal color as the music stops. The crowd begins to chant 'Low Brass! Low Brass!" as the thick bodied wrestler rolls into the ring. With a sour look, the Brass Monkey attempts to stare down his former friend, the Clan's new Assassin. The two fighters stare each other down, one with anger, the other devoid of emotion.)

 

 

DING DING DING

 

 

Axis: The second finals berth is on the line!

 

(The two fighters circle each other in the center of the ring, eyeing each other. With lightning speed, the two lock up in a collar elbow tieup. Struggling, they both break off, unable to get a clear advantage for an attack over the other. The lock up once again, pulling and fighting for a weakness to get a strike in. Still getting nowhere, both break off. Frustrated, Low Brass forgoes the usual lock up start, and throws a hard right into the face of Lady Red. The blow catches the Assassin off guard, and Low Brass uses that to throw another fist into the face of Lady Red. The crowd cheers with each blow, Low Brass using fists and chops to send the reeling assassin back to the corner.)

 

Axis: Roughhouse start to the match by Low Brass.

 

Edwin: You would think that Lady Red's boxing background would help her here.

 

Sacred: Who needs boxing? Pain is like an energy boost to evil, and Low Brass is just charging Lady Red's batteries!

 

Axis: Am I the only one who thought that was the dumbest thing you ever heard?

 

(Gabbing her arm, Low Brass sets up an Irish whip into the opposite corner, but the assassin stops the attempt. Another tug gets the Brass Monkey nowhere. Low Brass pulls again, but this time, he uses the force to charge into the vile woman, hitting her with a hard clothesline in the corner. Temporarily dazed, the assassin has no fight for the Irish whip Low Brass uses to send her hard into the opposite corner. Getting a running start, Low Brass charges into the far corner, but is stopped by a quick raised boot to the face, courtesy of the Assassin. Catching a quick breath, Lady Red runs to her right, bouncing off the ropes. Running in, she sends her arm out for a clothesline, which Low Brass deftly ducks. Careening off the near ropes, the Assassin ducks under the clothesline attempt from Low Brass, hitting the far ropes again. Low Brass ducks down, preparing to give the woman a backdrop, but is caught unawares as the woman leaps off the rope and lands in a straddle on Low Brass' back. Grabbing the monkey by his belt, the Assassin leaps into the air, lifting Low Brass' arms by folding her legs back with the jump. Pulling his lower body straight with his upper body, Lady Red plants the Brass Monkey face first into the mat.)

 

Axis: What was that???

 

Edwin: I... uh... *rustles through notes* I don't see any description or name for that!

 

Sacred: A move no one could prepare for! Beatiful evil! I would marry such a woman.

 

Axis: Don't ask, or she might do something evil to you in return.

 

Sacred: That could wait for the vows.

 

Axis: I'm going to stop listening to you from now on.

 

(Lady Red rolls Low Brass onto his back, and hooks a leg for the cover. The referee slides into position to count the pin.

 

 

ONE......

 

TWO.....

 

THR.....Kick out!

 

 

Axis: A close call for the Brass Monkey as Lady Red came out of nowhere with... uh, a move from nowhere!

 

Edwin: Great ad libbing! That's why we keep you around!

 

Axis: I'm kept around? I thought this was community service.

 

Edwin: It is, my friend, serving the community by keeping the Commisioner please! Dance for me Axis! Dance!

 

Axis: No.

 

Edwin: Awwww, why not?

 

Axis: Just..... no.

 

Edwin: Party Pooper.

 

Sacred: I can dance like an evil mofo!

 

Axis: Shut up.

 

 

(Lady Red pulls the Brass Monkey to his feet and sends a quick knife edge thrust the the throat. Low Brass clutches at his throat, garnering the Assassin a warning from the official. Taking a martial arts stance, the Assassin sends a sharp kick to the knee of Low Brass, buckling it slightly. A hop allows a quick roundhouse to hit the ribs of Low Brass, giving Lady Red the time to leap into the air, sending a spinning roundhouse kick to the head of Low Brass. The Brass Monkey goes down hard to the mat.)

 

Axis: Step up combo from the Assassin, and we haven't seen that maneuver in quite some time.

 

Edwin: I'd venture to say never.

 

(Walking over to her fallen enemy, the Assassin drops to her knees and mercilessly punches the unprotected face of Low Brass. Blow after blow strikes the funky monkey's head as the referee starts a five count. Lady Red stops her assault at 'four' and pulls her opponent back to his feet. With an Irish whip, Lady Red sends her opponent to the corner, following in with a leaping splash. Taking her stunned opponent by the waist, the Assassin pulls up hard, forcing Low Brass up to sit upon the top rope. Climbing the turnbuckle herself, Lady Red faes her opponent from the second rope. With a leap, she wraps her legs around the Brass Monkey's head, but feels her fall backwards stop. Low Brass stands up on the second rope, his hands holding the lightweight fighter up. A rough squeeze releases the woman's hold on his head, allowing him to lift the Assassin's body high.)

 

Axis: Oh my god! An incredible reversal and we could see an impromptu powerbomb off the second rope!

 

(With force, the Brass Monkey pushes the woman backwards while sitting back down on the top rope. The Assassin flies forward, over the steel post to the outside, landing hard face first onto the guard wall separating the ring area from the crowd. Recoiling back, the woman crumples to a heap on the outside.)

 

Axis: An awesome display of strength and wherewithal from Low Brass. Smart usage of his weight advantage, throwing the one hundred and forty pound woman over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes!

 

Sacred: More like two sacks.

 

Axis: What?

 

Sacred: A sack of potatoes is usually fifty to seventy five pounds. At one forty, Lady Red is more like two sacks of potatoes.

 

Axis: Do you not understand the definition of 'metaphor'?

 

Sacred: I do, I just ignore them to be EEEEEEVIIIIIIIL! MUA HA HA HA!

 

Axis: Why.... why do I stay.....?

 

(The referee begins his count to the outside as Low Brass clears any remaining cobwebs from his head.)

 

ONE.......

 

Axis: Lady Red is completely still on the outside, I think she's out!

 

TWO.......

 

(Low Brass steps through the ropes and hops to the outside...)

 

THREE.....

 

(Eyeing his opponent, Low Brass checks to see if she is playing possum)

 

FOUR......

 

(Lifting the Assassin, Low Brass grabs the woman's head and drives it hard onto the steel guard rail....)

 

FIVE......

 

(The recoil bringing the woman back up to a standing postition. Her eyes open wide and stare unnervingly into Low Brass', a trickle of blood runs down her face and a smile flickers on her lips....)

 

SIX.......

 

(Lady Red turns to the guard rail and violently headbutts it, opening her cut further. Standing rigid straight, the Assassin looks straight at Low Brass, a smile fully formed on her bloody face. Quickly, the woman grabs Low Brass' head...)

 

SEVEN.....

 

(And rams it hard onto the steel rail, the Monkey falling backwards in pain...)

 

Axis: This woman is both masochistic and sadistic! She actually enjoys opening herself on guard rails! Sickening!

 

Sacred: And eeeeeeeviiiil! How enjoyable! Wa ha!

 

EIGHT.....

 

(Lady Red lifts her opponent up to his feet and rolls him back into the ring, following him into the ring herself. As Low Brass stops his roll on his back, Lady Red straddles the Brass Monkey's chest. With fervor, the woman begins to viciously headbutt Low Brass in the face, covering his face with her blood as she inflicts pain on him. Suddenly, Low Brass shoots his head up as Lady Red drives hers down. Unable to stop her own motion, Lady Red plants her own face full force onto Low Brass' forehead. Pain shooting through her head, Lady Red rolls off, holding her nose as she rolls.)

 

Axis: Another quick counter from Low Brass and the Assassin is down again! You can never count out the Brass Monkey, he can turn the tide of any match in an instant!

 

Sacred: But can he succeed against someone who enjoys both inflicting and recieving pain? How do you fight such glorious and perverted evil?

 

Edwin: ... Chloroform?

 

Sacred: .... Shut up Edwin.

 

(Low Brass shakes his head to regain his composure. Feeling his face, he wipes some of his opponents blood off of his face, then slides over to his opponent. Lifting himself to his feet, he roughly whips the Assassin to the ropes, his pulling forcing the woman to her feet. Coming back from the ropes, Lady Red gets caught in a powerslam, the Brass Monkey planting her slim body hard into the mat with his weight. Hooking a leg, Low Brass goes for a quick cover as the official slides into position to count.)

 

ONE.....

 

TWO.....

 

THR.....No! Kick out!

 

Axis: Close call, but the powerslam after the shock headbutt wasn't enough to stun the masochistic Lady Red long enough to pin her.

 

Edwin: Enough with the enoughs, will you Axis?

 

Axis: Only when you stop wrangling pandas.

 

Edwin: Damn. Will you dance for me now?

 

Axis: See previous statement.

 

Edwin: Double Damn!

 

(Lifting the Assassin to her feet, Low Brass quickly slides behind the woman, and snakes his hand up and around her arms, locking his hands behind her head. Lifting the woman up, Low Brass dives forward, driving her head to the mat. The crowd cheers loudly as Low Brass keeps his full nelson hold on as he rises to his knees. Rolling his body backward with his legs, the Brass Monkey cinches in a clutch hold with his lock.)

 

Axis: Toronaga's Submission! Low Brass has his signature hold on in the center of the ring! This has to be it!

 

Sacred: You're telling me that Lady Red is going to *submit*??? HA Ha ha... woo, that's good. Moron!

 

Axis: Low Brass has only to keep the hold on until that woman's shoulders get pulled out of their sockets like wings off a fly.

 

Edwin: Are we to presume you pull the wings off of flies?

 

Axis: No, its just...

 

Edwin: Mercilessly and with forethought and malice?

 

Axis: NO! It's merely an...

 

Edwin: With ecstacy even?

 

Axis: SHUT UP! It's and *expression*. You know what expressions are right?

 

Edwin: Sure I do, watch... *ahem* I'm over here now! Oooohhh!

 

Axis: That *impersonate* and not even a good one.

 

Edwin: That was a perfect Dame Edna!

 

(Axis and Sacred boggle)

 

(Lady Red can only flail her arms as Low Brass drives his arms forward more to further separate her arms from her body as the body in question is pulled hard into arcs it was never meant to do. Pain shoots through the Assassin's body as her face is full of nothing but referee, asking for her submission. Low Brass leans forward slightly, then pulls back hard. Repeating the motion, the Monkey gets to a further reclined position each time, bending Lady Red's spine harder and harder. The Assassin tries to grab for anything, looking for an exit, but only grazes the Brass Monkey's face in her attempts, garnering no position. She screams out agains the constant pulling of her back, her arms nearly being pulled out of their sockets. With a desperation attempt, Lady Red straightens her first two fingers on each hand. As Low Brass begins to lean forward to get more pull to her lower back, the Assassin shoots her hands back. Unable to stop his forward motion, Low Brass gouges his own eyes on the Assassin's fingers. The sharp pain causes Low Brass to release, even as the referee gives a severe warning to Lady Red for the gouge.)

 

Axis: I don't believe it! Lady Red somehow gets her hands far back enough to gouge Low Brass' eyes! A lucky escape for the Assassin as I don't think she could last much longer.

 

Sacred: Lucky? It was pure evil skill!

 

Axis: I'll show you skill.....

 

(The Assassin escapes the hold, but damage has already been done. As Low Brass kneads his eyes, trying to remove the pain, Lady Red simply lies still. Her arms nearly useless from the onslaught they took. Low Brass rises to one knee, still trying to shake the pain from his eyes. Getting up, he walks to his fallen opponent and lifts her to her feet, noting the limp way her arms simply fall to her sides. The Brass Monkey takes a swing to her head, but the Assassin deftly sidesteps the blow. Open, Low Brass can't dodge the side kick to the ribs Lady Red delivers. Sidestepping to Low Brass' other side, Lady Red lands another kick, forcing the Funky Monkey to stagger back. Another step-up kick combo later, and Low Brass falls back against the ring ropes. Struggling to her feet, her arms just barely getting her light body up, the Assassin takes a quick step forward and leaps, landing a perfectly place dropkick to the mouth of Low Brass, the force of the blow carrying him over the top rope and tumbling to the outside.)

 

Sacred: Look at that! Lady Red comes from nowhere to deliver magical kicks of doom to her opponent and send him to the cold hard concrete below!

 

Axis: 'Magical kicks of Doom'? Are you on crack or something?

 

Sacred: No, I'm on pure evil! EEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIL! Feel it within you, succumb to the dark side!

 

Axis: You call me 'Luke' you die.

 

(Low Brass lies still on the outside, as the Assassin watches over. The referee starts a count, but stops when he notices Lady Red climbing the near corner. Shouting warnings, the sadistic Clan member pays no heed as she climbs to the top, staring at her prey like a hunting vulture. Standing straight at the top rope, she eyes the distance between herself and Low Brass. Turning, the Assassin shows her back to her opponent, then crosses her arms over her chest, staring at the sky. The camera zooms into a close up, the Assassin's bloody face gazing upwards, almost looking for a sign. She closes her eyes, and takes a deep breath....)

 

Axis: Wait... wait now, she isn't...

 

Edwin: What?

 

Axis: It's the 'Death Knell'! I heard of this maneuver, but not even Lady Red can be this crazy!!!

 

Sacred: Crazy like an evil FOX!

 

Axis: You used that on Metal!

 

Sacred: No I didn't, I said 'Disturbed like a FOX!' on Metal. Get your facts straight mister 'play by play' announcer man!

 

Axis: I hate you.

 

(The crowd collectively gasps as they witness the Assassin's next attack. Low Brass begins to stir, lifting his upper body slightly with his arms and shaking his head. He doesn't look above him however, and is not aware that his opponent has just jumped off the top rope, backwards, and is free falling.... down.... down.... and landing, the back of Lady Red's head making first contact, hitting the back of Low Brass' head. Low Brass' head is planted on the concrete, as Lady Red lands from her suicidal jump.)

 

Axis: Death Knell! This woman is certifiable!

 

Edwin: I have to admit, that was the craziest move I've ever seen, and I'm Edwin MacPhisto! Panda Wrangler and all around fun guy! Available for parties and gatherings for just millions of dollars!

 

Axis: Stop pimping yourself and watch the match!

 

(Low Brass recoils backwards and rolls onto his back, still. Lady Red rebounds from the drop onto her knees, tightly clutching her head and screaming out in pain. The referee begins his count.)

 

 

ONE......

 

TWO......

 

(Lady Red rolls around, writhing in pain on the ground and kicking....)

 

THREE.....

 

(The Assassin gets to her knees, still holding her head. She sits still, unable to focus on anything.....)

 

Axis: What could possess anyone to do such a maneuver to themselves, let alone an opponent???

 

FOUR......

 

(Unclutching her head, she painfully looks up, squinting, unable to properly see ahead of her....)

 

Sacred: Evil possesses her, pure unadulterated evil, and quite frankly, I couldn't imagine a more beautiful sight.

 

FIVE......

 

(Her vision clearing, Lady Red sees the still form of Low Brass through the blood seeping anew into her eyes.....)

 

Axis: A bloody woman committing suicide just to hurt an opponent?

 

SIX.....

 

(Shuffling forward, Lady Red straddles the chest of Low Brass and stares hard into his eyes.....)

 

Sacred: You don't find that beautiful?

 

SEVEN.....

 

(Putting her hands to her head, she covers her fingers in her blood. Turning her hands outward to her opponent, she places her fingers on the closed eyes of Low Brass. Tracing downward, Lady Red mocks her own face paint pattern onto her opponent in blood.....)

 

Axis: I sure as hell don't find that beautiful, that is just insane... psychopathically unstable!

 

Edwin: Seconded, thirded, and fourthded by the Panda Wrangler himself!

 

EIGHT......

 

(Finishing with a blood red 'X' on the Brass Monkey's forhead, Lady Red rolls off her unconcious opponent and shuffles up to the ring apron.....)

 

 

Axis: Edwin... what if it's a double count out? it could happen if Lady Red can't get in the ring quick enough.....

 

NINE.......

 

Edwin: We may have to have a rematch, and considering how this match went, I'm not sure if I could stomach another one... but I could do with a Waldorf salad... AXIS! I want a Waldorf Salad!

 

Axis: I'm *NOT* a waiter!!!

 

Edwin: Your point?

 

(Lifting her body up, Lady Red just gets herself up to the ring apron. Aware of the count, she rolls her body inside the ring...)

 

TEN!!!!!

 

(... just in time, as the referee counts 'ten' after she's inside. Rolling onto her back, the Assassin just stares up at the ceiling, ignoring the boos and catcalls of the disheartened crowd. Low Brass is simply out on the outside, lying still, the red teardrops of Lady Red promenint on his relaxed face.)

 

DING DING DING

 

 

(The theme to 'A Clockwork Orange' resonates throught the arena, the crowd booing in disappointment at their favorite losing to the dispicable woman.)

 

Funyon: Your winner.... by way of countout....  Lady RED!!!!!

 

Axis: Unbelievable! Lady Red knocks out Low Brass on the outside, and in another show of her disgusting 'marking', paints the X Force Nine member with her own blood. I am personally sickened by this display.

 

Edwin: Sick, disgusting, suicidal... it doesn't matter how you describe her Axis, she's going to the finals.

 

Sacred: Evil prevails again! Take that you goody-goodies! Ewwww, good makes me nauseous....

 

Axis: Good, so did this match. We're even. Folks, this caps our night here at the Brisbane Entertainment Center... Catch us this Saturday for more SJL action, and round three of the SWF Contract Tournament on Crimson! For Edwin and Sacred...

 

Sacred: The EVIL Sacred! Mwa ha ha!

 

Axis: This is Axis... good night, and try not to have nightmares....

 

(Just as the camera fades to black, a close up of the exhausted Lady Red is shown, her face covered in blood, her music playing.... and a broad smile on her face.....)

 

(cut to commercial)