Guest TSMAdmin Report post Posted December 19, 2002 In the player: ECW Path of Destruction On the box: Never Say Never Again Heavy Rotation: The Coral Hello strangers, long time no see. Excuses out of the way first (it’s only polite): as the end of term drew near, so did a shitload of essay deadlines. And being the responsible final year student I am, I shirked all other responsibilities (including going to the lectures the essays were for. DEDICATION~!) in order to finish them. Pretty boring stuff, huh? It’s not like I was out at Bingo or a gay bar or anything, or making my bosses in wrestling games. Well, I was playing my wrestlnig games, but… well, I’m sure you get the idea. So I’m back, and to be honest, neither of us missed a lot shag all has been happening in my life (aside from getting pissed off at balancing my laptop on one leg and a book on the other), and shag all has been happening in DVD-land, either. The most exciting thing that’s taken place is actually videogame related. And there’s more than one thing, come to mention it. I picked up Legends of Wrestling 2 for the Cube, and it’s pretty good if you’re a fan of the series. Alas, the GC version is missing both the create-a-stencil feature and the wrestler interviews found on the PS2 and Xblock versions, although to be honest, I really don’t give a dick about that (as you can see by checking out my posts at the lovely GameFAQs forums look for DVDspree). It’s got the usual LOW niggles and still can’t touch No Mercy or VPW2, but hell, it’s got Dr Death in it, so it’s gotta be worth playing. AND THERE’S NO TRIPLE H TO HOLD BACK ALL THE YOUNG STARS, SO EDDIE GUERRERO MIGHT FINALLY GET THAT PUSH. What else… oh yeah, I almost came all over my keyboard when I found something awesome online. Yes, AKI are working on not one, but TWO new grappling games. FUCKMETHAT’SAWESOME. Everyone knows about Def Jam Vendetta, and grudgingly accepts that they’ll have to pretend to be rappers if they want to enjoy the AKI goodness again, but did you know that there’s another AKI wrestling game OUT NOW on import? It’s called Kinnikuman 2-Yo/Kinnikuman Generations 2: Legends of VS or some such Kinnikuman is the important word to shout at your local importer, in any case. If the name sounds familiar, that’s because it’s a game based on the classic miniature Ultimate Muscle wrestling figures of the early eighties, which have recently resurfaced on Fox Kids in the animation Ultimate Muscle: The Kinnikuman Legacy (Kinnikuman being the name of the franchise in Japan). The game plays more like a straight-up fighter than a pure grappler, but is SO FUCKING AWESOME IT JUST ISN’T FUNNY. Check out this video over at GamesRadar (there’s about three videos over at Gamespot too, but they’re probably under the premium section). It’s cel-shaded, and has a fucking shit-hot anime flavour to it. Better yet, the game is due for an American release around March of next year, so if you don’t want to import, hang the fuck on tight. As if the news that AKI are still cranking out wrestling games for the Cube wasn’t good e-fucking-nough, Nintendo announced today that the US release of the new Zelda game WILL INDEED include the bonus disc (containing Ocarina of Time and Ura Zelda) for pre-orders as it was in Japan. Between that, confirmation of another Animal Crossing title, shots of the new GC Final Fantasy, and confirmation of a partnership with NEC to manufacture the next-next-generation Ninty machine, and it’s been a very Merry fucking Christmas indeed. What’s that? “Where’s the DVD news?” Man, FUCK YOU there’s shag all happening with DVDs and anyway, if you’re not interested in all of the above, I don’t even want you reading this column, so take your hits elsewhere. Ahh, that felt good. And it would all sound so much more hardcore if I hadn’t run out of miscellaneous stuff to say, and now I look like a twat because I have to talk about DVDs. Arse it. Well, I guess I could only stall for so long. Let’s HIT THE CONTENT~! WHAT’S HOT THIS WEEK? You can always tell when I’m pushed for content, because I can actually be bothered to do a run-down of the week’s release schedule. And it’s a fanboy’s paradise! Of course, the Back To The Future trilogy finally streets today (thus robbing me of weeks worth of news updates) in both full and widescreen, and allegedly contains more stuff than the long-available Australian version. Don’t forget though, THERE’S NO ERIC STOLTZ! Don’t be disappointed! Completing the shortass DVD tag team this week is the release of Tom Cruise’s (I’d say “Steven Spielberg’s”, but he isn’t very short) Minority Report. Aside from being a top notch movie, the DVD is very fucking special indeed. It’s just packed with all the usual stuff (except for a commentary track of course, because Spielberg can’t get his head far enough out of his ass long enough to see where his balls have gone) across two DVDs, so check it out if you’re even vaguely interested. Kevin Smith fanboys may very well be jacked about his new DVD, An Evening With Kevin Smith, or actually they may not be. It’s basically four hours (two on each DVD) of the man speaking, culled from his college lectures/visits/tours. Now, if you’ve never been to a Smith talk, you will be DELIGHTED with this set. He rattles off his vast catalogue of stories and anecdotes about his personal and professional life, from the PTA nightmare over Dogma to Jay’s porn antics, to his Superman script and more. However, if you have been to a Smith talk, you will have already heard everything he has to say, as inevitably, over hundreds of tours and talks, over many years, the same stories tend to come up. There’s no real extras outside of a couple of Eggs, so think hard before you rush out and buy this one. Steve Irwin marks can rejoice, as a pretty loaded DVD for The Crocodile Hunter is yours for the taking. Some of them may be fluff pieces (the making-of, the featurette and behind-the-scenes stuff), but there’s deleted scenes, a music video, a photo gallery, and it’s even in anamorphic. I was watching one of Irwin’s shows the other day while writing an essay, and fuck, that guy is hardcore. One of his crocs died, and he just broke down in fucking tears cradling the fucking thing. He got in the water with it and nuzzled it for about ten minutes WHILE THERE WERE TWO OTHER PISSED OFF CROCODILES SWIMMING AROUND. Then he even dug a grave and held a wake for the fucking thing. If that isn’t enough to convince you to buy this DVD, I don’t know what will. And if you’re not a Steve Irwin mark, I’m guessing you’re not a Dolph Lundgren mark either, so Red Scorpion probably wouldn’t be of interest to you. Have I ever mentioned how awesome the first Universal Soldier actually is? And for all us wrestling fans, there’s WWE No Mercy 2002. Want to see Taker bleed? See Brock bust his crippled ass open in the confines of the vile, diabolical, Hell in a Cell! SOUNDS BETTER THAN IT IS~! See Rey Rey blow spots! Watch Triple HGH and Kane battle for the memory of Katie Vick in one of THE HOTTEST ANGLES IN WRESTLING HISTORY~! Plus more shit that wasn’t worth the entry fee the first time around. The extras on ths disc are: 12 bonus interviews, highlights of the tag team tournament, the No Mercy commercial “Trick or Pete” and the making of “Trick or Pete”, as well as a history of the Intercontinental Title. WHOA HOLD ME BACK NOW VINCE, I MIGHT BUY A THOUSAND COPIES. Just look at that poor fucking promotion. Daddy of The Week: Well, it was a tough call. To be honest, much as I love Dolph, Red Scorpion nearly made this list. But it was beat out JUST. A Polish Vampire in Burbank was some tough competition, but hats off must go to Curse of The Queerwolf, which just sounds truly, truly bad on many, many levels. One helpful user on Amazon summed it up like this: “Clever Spoof on Horror Flicks. Complete with Full Moon several nights in a row! Good Fun!” How anything entitled QUEERWOLF could ever be considered “Clever” is beyond me. But shit, if it’s got any features whatsoever, I might buy it just for the crack. ANIMATION NATION Well, it’s a little late, but shit, it’s better than nothing, right? Futurama is FINALLY heading to Region 1 DVD. Hooray! Yes, on March 25th the complete first season of the show will hit stores for 30 bucks, including commentaries for every episode, deleted scenes, storyboards, animatics, an interactive stills gallery, and a pretty stubby featurette. You know, this would all be a lot more exciting if THE EXACT SAME FUCKING SET hadn’t been available in Region 2 for the past eight months. I mean, if the US market has to wait so damn long, they could at least throw some extra stuff on there. Not that it bothers me, since it’s one of the few times I can just go into town to buy a DVD instead of having to import all this stuff from you people. Anyway, if you want to check out a review of the set, click here to go to the DVD Times website, and if you’re so excited that you can’t wait for the set, go to Play.com and order the R2. And if that weren’t enough, following on April 15th will be the complete first season of Family Guy, also from Fox, but this time going for 50 bucks. A little more pricey, but it is a four-disc set. Included are commentaries for eight episodes, Fox promos, and, um… other stuff. I’m pretty sure Family Guy is available in Region 2 as well, but I’m not entirely sure as I’m not a huge fan of the show. Play.com'll have it if it is. Thanks to IGN for the info. EL SANTO~! Well, since there’s dick all news to cover, may as well shill some wrestling-related stuff. MTV UK (and possibly MTV Europe as well, I’m not sure) are doing some kind of season of “alternative” programming in the evenings. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but it DOES seem that we are treated to re-reuns of The Osbournes, which will save me having to buy the frigging DVD. It also seems that MTV are showing some of wrestling legend EL SANTO~!’s Mexican movies. Anyone who visits a wrestling-based site like TheSmartMarks.com and DOESN’T know who Santo is should go and fucking vote on some WWE.com poll to tell them how awesome Triple HGH is. Once they’ve done that, they can come back and I’ll tell them that Santo achieved in Mexico the kind of crossover success that Hulk Hogan and The Rock can only dream of: A masked wrestler with his own series of comic books, and something like 50 fucking films in which he was the star. Admittedly, it’s all a little bit, well, Mexican, so it’s not the same as starring in fifty Hollywood films, but nonetheless, Santo is nothing short of a cultural icon in Mexico, and is a genuine star of both the ring and the silver (or, being Mexico, slightly pungent, yellowing) screen. The last one I saw being plugged was Santo VS the Zombies (yeah, like I said, these are MEXICAN films), and I don’t really know anything more than that. But still, hardcore fans or fans of campy men-in-spandex action in general might want to check it out. Well, I’m the fuck outta here. Unlike some SLACKERS on the web who don’t update at Christmas, the mighty Jay Spree will be giving YOU, the loyal Smart Marks readers, a very special gift on Christmas Day. Just click your way back here on December 25th to find out what it is. I know SOME OF YOU will have nothing better to do after you’ve opened the eighth pair of socks. So take it easy, and come back next week. HAPPY HOLIDAYS MUTHAFUCKAS~! Peace. Jay Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
