The Onion Article

[Guest EricMM]

(ahem)

 

http://www.theonion.com/onion3847/bill_of_rights.html

 

I laughed, I cried, I feared for the future.

[Guest starvenger]

Good stuff, as always, from The Onion...

[Guest kkktookmybabyaway]

I sat down, I read it, I shrugged, I moved on with my life...

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Did this remind anyone else of Carlin's slimming down of the Ten Commandments into only two?

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Thou Shalt try really hard not to kill, thou shalt always be honest and faithful, with a bonus third commandment: Thou shalt always keep thy religion to thyself!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Awesome stuff. The bit about the Ninth Amendment cracked me up.

[Guest DrTom]

Excellent, pointed criticism of the Homeland Fascism Act.

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Uhh...Which one is the 9th amendment?

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

Funny how they didnt mess with the Right to bear arms, the only one that most people actually have a problem with and is actually quite outdated.

[Guest Ace309]

The Ninth Amendment basically boils down to "The rights enumerated in the bill of rights are not your only rights."

[Guest Samurai_Goat]

Oh yea, got confused. You wouldn't believe how far gone I was that day. Sorry for my temporary ignorance.

[Guest saturnmark4life]

I got 'Our Dumb Century - 100 years of Onion headlines for christmas. It is the funniest book ever published on planet earth.

[Guest subliminal_animal]

Onion is pretty hit-or-miss with me. I thought that piece was extremely boring.

 

The headlines of the past century book is good, though, like someone said.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

Funny how they didnt mess with the Right to bear arms, the only one that most people actually have a problem with and is actually quite outdated.

why is having the right to bear arms outdated?

 

--Rob

[Guest Brian]

Because it was written for Militia times, and has yet to be held up in the Supreme Court like the rest of the Bill of Rights.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

so, you don't feel we should be able to protect ourselves? Spoken like a true liberal. I tend to think the world would be a better place if everyone carried a gun. Someone tries to rob a bank and boom, 20 guns pointed at him. NO more crime. Protection is necessary. I say give me guns or give me death.

 

--Rob

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Then we have everyone shooting each other over petty matters. It'd totally eliminate the justice system as we know it, and everything would be by law of the gun. You actually want that?

 

The second amendment was also written during a time when an Uzi was some kind of alien word, and an automatic rifle or pistol were still a loooooong way off. With a musket, a dude running away had a fighting chance, especially considering the rates of misfires and their inherent inaccuracy.

 

And why is it that every time someone disagrees with you on ANYTHING, you instantly label them a liberal? I expect the next post of yours to advocate universal gun ownership while at the same time blaming Clinton for the Shoemaker-Levy comet crashing into Jupiter.

[Guest sydneysider]

Just seeking information about this issue. I come from a country without a Bill Of Rights, ( Australia). The issue became relevant to me whilst I visited New York this year. I was with people who were making racist statements in a bar, statements which would not be tolerated in Sydney. We have anti villification laws.

 

Anyway , whilst sitting in this bar in Manhatten, I was shocked with the statements being made, but certainly saw it as an example of Free Speech. An example which would not occur in my own city. So it surprises me that so many Americans can be complacent about the loss of parts of the Bill of Rights.

 

I hope that makes sense..and I was wondering if you can explain the reasons for your complacency?

 

 

BTW. I walked out of the bar in disgust...

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Because the vast majority of the citizens of this country, to be blunt, don't give a shit about anything unless it's going to financially affect them.

 

And I'd feel sorry for your sensitivities if you came to the South, woo boy.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

I labled him as a liberal because 90% or more conservatives are with me on this issue. Maybe not for the same reasons but they still support it. Even if people couldn't carry we should still be able to bear arms to protect our homes and families.

 

--Rob

[Guest EricMM]

Kotz it's effect, not affect

 

RJS, you don't need a gun to protect yourself, that's what police are for. You're more likely to shoot someone in your home than to shoot an intruder yadda yadda. You've heard this before. Simply, there is no need for your average American to pack heat. Why would I ever need to shoot someone, or anything?

 

It sickens me when Charleston Heston says that the second amendment is the best one, that it's the holiest one. We don't need a militia anymore, and that's that, and further more, a militia would NOT be able to prevent an action from the US government. A home militia vs. the US army would be a total joke.

 

Conservatives often agree with you because it's part of the conservative adgenda. Same with liberals mind you, and other issues.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

Kotz it's effect, not affect

 

RJS, you don't need a gun to protect yourself, that's what police are for. You're more likely to shoot someone in your home than to shoot an intruder yadda yadda. You've heard this before. Simply, there is no need for your average American to pack heat. Why would I ever need to shoot someone, or anything?

 

It sickens me when Charleston Heston says that the second amendment is the best one, that it's the holiest one. We don't need a militia anymore, and that's that, and further more, a militia would NOT be able to prevent an action from the US government. A home militia vs. the US army would be a total joke.

 

Conservatives often agree with you because it's part of the conservative adgenda. Same with liberals mind you, and other issues.

"A home militia vs. the US army would be a total joke."

 

Funny. I am pretty sure we had mostly militia when we beat england. All I am saying is you should not trust the police or government to protect oyu, you should protect yourself. Any man who tries to break into my house and try to rob me and/or hurt my family will recieve a clip full of .45 caliber slugs.

 

--Rob

[Zorin Industries]

"A home militia vs. the US army would be a total joke."

 

Funny. I am pretty sure we had mostly militia when we beat england.

Oh, come on, back then the two forces were at least partially on level terms. Lets see how a pack of survivalists stands up to a well trained and equipped group of soldiers, with APCs and attack helicopters.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

still, I fell the need to protect myself. With all this terrorism nonsense going on it is the best way possible. Next year I am thinking about getting a DE .50 cal. No motherfucker in their right mind would ever try to come my property with bad intentions. In the commonwealth of pa we have the right to shoot people if they are on our property after you give them a warning. I guess because you all live in different states with different laws you don't know where I am coming from. God bless pennsylvania.

 

--Rob

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

"With all this terrorism nonsense going on it is the best way possible."

 

Because all terrorists are aiming for one specific Rob Johnstone.

 

"In the commonwealth of pa we have the right to shoot people if they are on our property after you give them a warning."

 

In the heat of the moment with a supposed stand-off against an intruder, are you sure you'll remember to give them a warning? If it's one of your family walking around at night for one reason or another, will you feel the same about guns if you draw the gun and actually point it at them, ready to pull the trigger? Or forbid, accidentally shoot them?

 

And the best steps to protecting your home and family anyway, is prevention. Ever hear of a home security system? I hear they work wonders.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

I really should take the advice of some who has "manson is identical to that of jesus christ" in their sig.

 

--Rob

[Guest KingOfOldSchool]

Stop dodging.

 

As for the sig, I snatched it off googlism and don't believe it by any means.

 

Jesus Christ was a wonderful man who apparently did great things, despite my views on religion, and I would never seriously compare myself to him. I can accept that he was real, though I find it "questionable" that he was the son of a higher being, since I don't actually believe in a higher being of any sort. But I did believe in Christ, the man.

 

As to how the sig actually relates to me, it works in conjunction with my SWF/SJL e-fed gimmick... Though my gimmick is loosely based on Charles Manson, I definitely thought he was a nutcase who deserved to be fried long ago.

 

Know now that I don't care what you think of the signature, or if you write off my opinions as hogwash because of it. But I will, in turn, consider your argument in this thread invalidated if you do, as I think my signature, should be irrelevant to the debate.

[Guest RobJohnstone]

"In the heat of the moment with a supposed stand-off against an intruder, are you sure you'll remember to give them a warning?"

 

Of course. You can't just go wild and have a shooting gallery. Home security systems like adt will only do so much good, like let you know someone is in your house. It also calls the police. How does that help the situation at hand? It will take the police 10 minutes minimum to get there. You need protection and guns are suitable to do it. I go to the range twice a month to make sure my skills stay intact, you don't want someone with a gun who can't aim. I figure as long as someone is responsible and has morals they can have a gun. Unfortunatly because of lack of religion morals and responsibility have disappeared.

 

--Rob

[Guest Dopey]

It's a good thing that guy didn't post that here, becuase SATIRE is absolutly not allowed here!!!

[Guest Dopey]

"A home militia vs. the US army would be a total joke."

 

Funny.  I am pretty sure we had mostly militia when we beat england.

Oh, come on, back then the two forces were at least partially on level terms. Lets see how a pack of survivalists stands up to a well trained and equipped group of soldiers, with APCs and attack helicopters.

Zorin, the men in your hypothetical APC's, are they going to have a serious morale problem??? A 27yo. SSG. sitting in his Bradley with a patch on his left shoulder which reads 'AA' (All Americans) looking down at a company of American militia men, in an American city....