Rob E Dangerously 0 Report post Posted December 22, 2002 When we last left you, Kevin Nash, Triple H, David Arquette and probably some other guy, were in line for the WORLD'S WORST WRESTLING TITLE. But, Vince Russo has changed plans. Tonight, we get TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT-A-MANIA and for the WWW title, Triple H faces X-Pac, will X-Pac show up? and for the Big Gold Belt, Vince Russo defends against a big Rap star! and some other stuff! Nailz and Reese battled to a double countout in 0:04:06. Rating: -*** We see Vince Russo in the back talking with S.E.X., he has new Sports Entertainment gimmicks for Low-Ki, Elix and Chris Daniels. Low-Ki is now "Edgar the Iranian", Daniels is now "The Peace Advocate" ("People deez days hate peace, dey want War!") and Elix is now Elix Hitler ("You'll get alot of heel heat") [Round 1]: Maven and Michael Cole defeated Kurrgan and Earthquake when Cole made Kurrgan submit to a nerve hold in 0:03:59. Rating: -** 1/2 The fans grasp at the fact that Michael Cole did a shoot on Kurrgan. Since Earthquake and Kurrgan were winning, but Cole ignored the script. Damn his hide! Vince Russo talks with Sexual Harris-ment (Ron and Don Harris), they promise to Sexually Harris Bradshaw and A-Train Bradshaw is backstage, he declares that he's gonna tie the Harrises up and do them like hogs. Bradshaw brings out A-Train and declares that he loves the feeling of babyoil on back hair. [Round 1]: The Dangerhoss Alliance (The A-Train and Bradshaw) defeated Sexual Harris-ment when A-Train pinned R. Harris with the Baldo Bomb in 0:04:37. Rating: -1/2* Vince Russo brings out Justin Credible and Jack Victory and declares that they have a new gimmick. Justin is now Hussein Credible and Jack is now Abdul bin Cameljockey, they are the Iraq Attaq! That'll get over with da markz! [Round 1]: The Iraq Attaq defeated Sid Vicious and David Arquette when Cameljockey pinned Vicious after the Greetings from Baghdad in 0:01:59. Rating: -*** Reese is redubbed by Vince Russo.. Reese will go back to his old gimmick, THE YETI! [Round 1]: Sports Entertainment Xtreme (The Peace Advocate and Edgar the Iranian) defeated The Four Hossmen (Bling Bling Buchanan and The Ultimate Hoss) when Iranian pinned Buchanan with the Ki Krusher '99 in 0:06:33. Rating: 3/4* Meanwhile, Vince yells at Low-Ki for wrestling too much. ("You dumb dumbdumb! you bored the fans into a coma out there!") They lock up. Maven nails Bradshaw with a clothesline. Maven uses a hanging vertical suplex on Bradshaw. Maven whips Bradshaw into the turnbuckle. Maven charges into the corner, but Bradshaw moves out of the way. Bradshaw goes for a short lariat, but Maven blocks it. Maven executes a clothesline on Bradshaw. Maven runs into the ropes. Maven hits Bradshaw with an elbow. Maven is going for the pin. Tim White counts: One, two, The A-Train doesn't make it in time... three. Maven is getting a good reaction from the crowd. The winners are Maven and Michael Cole. Time of match: 0:00:45 [semi-Finals]: Maven and Michael Cole defeated The Dangerhoss Alliance (The A-Train and Bradshaw) when Maven defeated Bradshaw via pinfall in 0:00:45. Rating: -3/4* ANOTHER SHOOT! Maven has learned from Michael "Shooter" Cole. Maven hit a stiff elbow and knocked Bradshaw out cold. A-Train couldn't break up the pin. Maven and Cole move on! [semi-Finals]: The Iraq Attaq defeated Sports Entertainment Xtreme (The Peace Advocate and Edgar the Iranian) when Credible pinned Advocate after the Greetings from Baghdad in 0:02:16. Rating: * 1/2 Vince Russo yells at Low-Ki the Iranian for not shortening the match. "Da fanz got bored out dere!" Maven attacks Hussein Credible before the bell. Maven goes for a clothesline, but Hussein Credible counters it with a crucifix. James Beard counts: One, two, three. The crowd is booing Hussein Credible. The winners are The Iraq Attaq. Time of match: 0:00:03 [Finals]: The Iraq Attaq defeated Maven and Michael Cole when Credible pinned Maven after a crucifix in 0:00:03. Rating: -** 3/4 ONE MORE SHOOT! Maven tried to shoot and attack, then he went for a shoot "Clothesline from Maven" but Justin Credible is a hooker and he hit Maven with a shoot Crucifix for a shoot victory. Elix Hitler tells Vince Russo that maybe he could be 'Elix Farrakhan' or 'Elix Tyson', since they didn't advocate killing black people. Vince Russo tells Elix it's either what he has now or 'Elix Lott' Tom Zenk is seen backstage typing up a column for his website about how Dusty and DDP suck. Vince Russo spots him and hires him on the spot for 4 million. ("They know you on da net babay!") Russo gives Zenk a new gimmick, Zenk will now be a ladies man serial killer, he is ZENK THE RIPPER Elix Hitler pinned Giant Silva after a flying dropkick in 0:02:23. Rating: -1/4* and X-Pac is not here.. so Russo will have to plan some SWERVE The Abortionist pinned Zenk the Ripper with the Alley Way Special in 0:04:24. Rating: 1/4* Vince Russo tells Jerry Lynn that he has no personality and he renames Jerry to be "Sex Addict Jerry" ("But I'm not a sex addict!" "Jerry, man.. I gotta do kayfabay, you gotta be thinkin about sex 24-7. It gets ratings!") Kevin Nash pinned Sex Addict Jerry with the Jackknife Power Bomb in 0:00:53. Rating: 3/4* Triple H pinned Terry Funk after a kneedrop in 0:00:24. Rating: 1/2* Now.. Trish faces Victoria.. nope.. Triple H doesn't want that.. he wants the title now. Triple H pinned Trish Stratus with the Pedigree in 0:03:14. Rating: DUD Here comes Victoria. HHH hates techno and he pounds her. Then he spanks her. Triple H pinned Victoria with the Pedigree in 0:00:13. Rating: DUD Stevie comes out in outrage over what happened to Victoria. Pedigree.. pin.. book it. Triple H pinned Stevie Richards with the Pedigree in 0:02:54. Rating: * RAVEN makes his big return.. and Triple H pinned Raven with the Pedigree in 0:00:34. Rating: * Raven is hauled back to Heat. WWW commish Roddy Piper comes out and accuses Triple H of killing Wahoo McDaniel. Roddy will punish HHH by giving him a match he cannot win for the WWW title. He will face the Iron Sheik in a Battle Royal! No-Countout-No-DQ-2-Man Battle Royal for the vacant WWW Title: Triple H won a 2-man Battle Royal: x HHH threw out Iron Sheik after a flying axhandle in 0:00:39 Rating: -** 1/4 (Triple H won the WWW Title.) As the Iron Sheik is stretchered out, HHH poses for 6 minutes. Vince Russo comes out and declares that Roddy was shooting on him and it wasn't planned at all. Nope. Not at all. Never. He says his opponent is John "Vanilla" Cena. But, the Insane Clown Posse objects to this. They say they are famous Rappers. Vince Russo busts a nut laughing. Commish Roddy Piper comes out and asks Violent J if he killed Sammie Davis Jr., Piper then makes a three way with Cena and the ICP. Triangle Match: Shaggy 2 Dope defeated Violent J and Vanilla Cena when Shaggy pinned J with the Top-Rope Legdrop in 0:00:33. Rating: -1/4* Violent J sulks to the back.. DRAMA~! X-Pac shows up and says that he fell asleep driving and got lost on the way to the arena. Triple H forgives him for his sin and X-Pac jumps for joy meanwhile.. we have a match and now the finish of the title match.. Shaggy 2 Dope goes for running legdrop, but Vince Russo rolls out of the way. Vince Russo hits Shaggy 2 Dope with an ax kick. Vince Russo is going for the pin. Danny Davis counts: One, two, thr... kickout. Vince Russo runs into the ropes. Vince Russo hits Shaggy 2 Dope with a kick. Vince Russo taunts the crowd. The ring is quickly filling up with debris. Vince Russo goes for a bridging back suplex, but Shaggy 2 Dope counters it with a headlock takedown. Violent J comes to ringside. Shaggy 2 Dope executes a jumping DDT on Vince Russo. Violent J throws Vince Russo a roll of quarters. Vince Russo hits Shaggy 2 Dope with it and goes for the pin. Danny Davis counts: One, two, three. The ring is quickly filling up with debris. The winner is Vince Russo. Time of match: 0:10:25 Vince Russo pinned Shaggy 2 Dope after hitting him with a roll of quarters in 0:10:25. Rating: -* 1/2 (Vince Russo retained the Big Gold Belt.) VIOLENT J HAS TURNED ON SHAGGY 2 DOPE! Shaggy was inches within the corridor to winning the belt! THE ICP HAS COME TO BLOWS! VINCE RUSSO RETAINS THE TITLE! Violent J, SEX and Vince Russo beat up Shaggy 2 Dope. And then.. out from the crowd, here comes JIM THE ANVIL NEIDHART! He attacks, and gets viciously beaten as we fade to black Next show: Main event- Vince Russo and Violent J face Shaggy 2 Dope and a partner in a 'Losers have to be Doink next show' Triple H defends the WWW title against Bling Bling Buchanan in a 'Submission match' Kevin Nash and new tag team partner champion Scott Hall defend their belts against Trish Stratus and Victoria in a 'losers perform oral sex on the winners' match for the Tag team titles Elix Hitler and Sexual Harris-ment will face Barry Horowitz, Sex Addict Jerry Lynn and Ahmed Johnson in a 'losers spend 4 minutes in a gas chamber' match Raven faces D'Lo Brown [subject to cancellation] Zenk the Ripper faces The A-Train in a Barb Wire match Maven v. Bradshaw in a Strap match Michael Cole v. David Arquette in an Electric Chair match The Iraq Attaq faces The Patriot and American Dragon in a "Losers burn their flag" match and the Russo punishments for having the best match return.. the best match was IraqAttaq v. Low-Ki/Daniels and since the Iraq Attaq had two other bad matches.. Low-Ki and Daniels must be punished. "The Peace Advocate" Chris Daniels will take on The Yeti in a 'Cage match' Low Ki the Iranian will face The Abortionist in a 'Streetfight' and in a punishment match for no-showing.. X-Pac will face Jake Roberts in a ladder match with a can of pills hanging above the ring Plus more! Leave your comments here! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted December 22, 2002 a kick-ass return for the AWESOMEST fake fed ever~! wh00! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Respect The 'Taker Report post Posted December 22, 2002 That's some crappy wrestling! MORE TRIPLE H! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest HartFan86 Report post Posted December 22, 2002 LMAO @ HHH winning under a second. Raven faces D'Lo Brown [subject to cancellation] LMFAO Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
