PROMO:All Souled Out

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

I've made the offer, Danny. Come into the ring on Satuday, accept your fate, and I'll do my best to help you out. Try to resist, and... yeah, Danny, we both know what'll happen.

 

Your move.

 

The camera fades out as Flesher crosses his arms, waiting patiently for a response

 

(The camera pulls away to reveal its a monitor, being watched by Danny Williams. He turns to the camera to reveal he is wearing a Superior One T-shirt.)

 

Damn, those are some harsh words.  I thought you was cool, like the type of guy that could loan me fifty dollars without asking "Whats this for."  I even thought you was so cool, I bought your T-shirt.  Look at this thing, its so cool, it has your name on it and everything.

 

Well to tell you the truth, I didn't buy the T-shirt because I thought you was cool. I didn't buy it because I thought the T-shirt was cool.  I bought it, well, out of pity.  It only cost me two dollars.  They had a hudge pile of them, they were just gonna throw them away, if nobody bought them.  I thought, poor guy I guess it wouldn't hurt if I pitched in.  

 

Anyway, after I made the purchase the clerk told me. "Thank God, we cannot get rid of these things.  This is the 5th price drop we've tried. You are only the second person to buy a shirt. " I said really who was the other.  He said some other wrestler.  I guessed the other wrester was you, but I was wrong. He said Shawn Brody or whatever the hell his name is.  Its not important.  

 

Here is what is important.  The clerk said "They are getting another shipment in next Tuesday, and they haven't even got rid of the ones they had."  That you insisted, that the shirts would be sold out within a week.  They had to get rid of the shirts they had, to make room. But they didn't know what to do with them.  So heres the thing, I just didn't buy one of your shirts with 2 dollars.  I bought all of your shirts with just 2 dollars.

 

(The camera pulls out to a massive pile of Superior One T-Shirts, it must be hundreds)

 

So what should I do with them.  Maybe I should offer them a drink.  

 

(Danny opens a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of the camera.  He hesitates for a moment as if he is going to take a drink. He quickly shakes his head and pours the alcohol on the T-Shirts.)

 

Mabye I should offer them a light to.

 

(He reveals a lighter and lights the shirts up.  He breaks into hysterical laugher, as a smoke alarm goes off.  The shirts go up very quickly. ) 

 

This Saturday, Superior One, Kicking Your Ass is gonna be my anti-drug. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa.

 

 

(Danny walks away from the camera and out of the locker room.  Some officals rush in with fire extinguishers and began spraying the fire.)

[Guest Ace309]

PROMO

Flesher sits bolt upright in bed. The camera pulls in tight on his sweaty, horrified face.

 

My GOD! I just dreamed that they cancelled The Simpsons!

 

God... with all the evil going on in this world, the terrorism, the religious fighting, the fact that somewhere in Zimbabwe there's a little kid who's never seen me wrestle...

 

Oh, yeah, and there's some schmuck burning my t-shirts. But let's face it, that's not as horrible as...

 

fighting back tearsGod, that poor little Zimbabwean child. Someone buy him a VCR! QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!

[Guest Thoth]

Wait until you start using straw dummies with tape recorders shoved up their asses.  Then your promos will really take off.

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

PROMO

Oh, yeah, and there's some schmuck burning my t-shirts. But let's face it, that's not as horrible as...

 

fighting back tearsGod, that poor little Zimbabwean child. Someone buy him a VCR! QUICKLY!!!!!!!!!

 

(the camera pulls off to reveal yet again Danny watching a montior)

Why is there a cameraman in his bedroom, filming him in the middle of the night. We must have the most dedicated cameramen in all of wrestling.  

 

(The camera pulls out to reveal a straw dummy with a tape recorder shoved up its ass.  The tape recorder screams, as Danny lights it up.)

 

Hahahahah, Main Event here I come.

[Guest HVilleThugg]

I want to see more of these.  These are fun.  All you JLers should have Promo battles like this.

 

Da "saying go for it" H

[Guest Thoth]

This is good stuff.  Remind me of the classic IGNWF/JL.

[Guest Shawn]

::Shawn marks out like an Ausitn fanboy::

 

Yes, I am the number one Flesher fan, sue me!

 

Build on the first match? Wut?!

 

WUT?!