Promo: Please Don't Feed the Heart

[Guest Insanityman]

(Solitude. A gift that can be either ignored or taken for granted by most people. Human nature begs for acceptance and to have someone by your side. While the SWF gladly takes the time off for the break, including the SJL branch, most wrestlers go around either partying or hanging out with friends. It’s the Christmas spirit in its prime, but there’s always an exception. The Insane Luchador, Andrew Rickmen, roams in the streets of Seattle uncomfortably. He is an exception- for now. The tiniest snowflakes descend from the skies and the cold weather allows them to stick. Walking with a certain depressed strut Andrew proceeds to cross an isolated road. It was a very nice neighborhood; upper middle class houses take up majority of the development space all looking like TV sitcom houses. Green shudders, white sidings, and cedar shingles. He has a destination but coming from a guy who roamed around in Afghanistan it isn’t saying much. Andrew Rickmen, nearly deathly cold considering his same attire as his ring, staggers towards one of the house numbers. He slips on some ice and smacks against the stairs creating a nasty smacking sound that could make half the neighborhood wake up).

 

Not the romantic entrance he had expected. His tongue flicked inside his mouth for blood, and his sloppy spiked hair crumbles as the snow melts away the gel, not to mention his eyes have the same insane sparkle. The door slowly opens while Andrew crawls onto the cement porch. Suddenly Andrew looks up and his heart skips about three beats. A very slender, brown haired, adequate curved, and generally perky looking girl stares at what seems to be another drunken bum. Suddenly when the two eyes meet she realizes whom she’s staring at.

 

“Oh God! Andrew! What-uh, oh you must be freezing!” Jennifer, his ex-girlfriend and nearly fiancé exclaims.

 

“Merry Christmas.” The words can vaguely be understood under the chatting of the teeth. Andrew Rickmen stands back up retreating his arms inside his shirt. She looks on in bewilderment and denial.

 

“I, I, I don’t know Rickmen. I thought we were through.” Obviously it’s not an easy sight to see Andrew Rickmen.

 

“So did I, but I took a late flight to Seattle for Christmas.” Rickmen doesn’t help her calm down or does he help his body by stepping inside.

 

“Honey… you’re the worse thing that’s happened to me. I’m so sorry but I was so foolish. I have to get psychology help because of what I’ve experienced with you. Andrew-” Jennifer looks away trying to hold back the tears. Andrew takes a giant step forward in effort to comfort her.

 

Suddenly a bulky man steps up to her. “Andrew, this is Roger. He’s my new fiancé.” She says in tears. Rickmen suddenly grabs her shoulder while she went to twirl away. The blonde hair, blue eyed, obviously gained muscles from hours of working out, and a slave to the white collar was everything Andrew stood against. Rickmen would bet money he owned a Lexus. Andrew suddenly glances at the white pillar next to him, and finally uncomfortably turns around to see the three stairs that he tripped on. Andrew grabbed Jennifer’s warm wrist and he looked straight into her eyes, apparently touched.

 

“You still love me, I know you do.” Jennifer wormed away and suddenly Rickmen felt something close a wall hit his chin. Andrew Rickmen flies back and down the stairs as Jennifer shrieks at Roger in anger. Roger grins smugly thinking he’d win the battle. “Let’s go before your father wakes up.” Roger calmly reassures her.

 

“No, I’m fine. I’m quite used to this.” Andrew slowly retorts rubbing his chin. He slowly turns on his heels realizing everything was a mistake.

 

“Don’t come back to harm her ever again you psycho!” Her fiancé felt the urge to yell. “I told you I’d get him for you honey.” He flirtatiously whispered.

 

You can only push a man so far…

 

Andrew Rickmen suddenly whirls around and charges at not just a foe- but also all the anguish and hatred life felt free to dish him. Rickmen quickly leaps up the stairs then knocks the shorter yet bulkier man down. Andrew then grabs his red Abercrombie collar and lifts him up to his two feet. Jennifer protests but Rickmen lifts him into the air and slams his newfound rival into the snowy white pillar. Within seconds the man’s confident face melts into fear.

 

“You hurt her, you make one tear even leave her eyelid, you let her even think of cheating on you, or if you even make her wonder if she made a mistake by marrying, I will find you. I will get to you, ask Rex Matthews. If you could find his family they’d know damn well what I’m talking about. Now take your ‘ideal American’ ass back into your house and you better damn well be thankful for all the unnecessary possessions you have.” Spit and blood is flung onto the man’s face. “You’re the scum of this Earth that does make everything self-destruct!” Rickmen dropped the man but now before a knee is flung into Roger’s gut. “Merry Christmas.” Andrew doesn’t even make connect with Jennifer’s ghastly white face and Rickmen walks off humming “Santa Claus is coming to town.”

 

Deep down self-destructive approaches rapidly.

[Guest Goodear]

Really, this sounds like an OLD SCHOOL Disney movie where Bambi's mom gets killed, Davey Crocket gets taken out by Mexicans at the Alamo, and little Timmy shoots Old Yeller.