Wrestlemania IX

[Guest nWoScorpion]

Wrestlemania IX

April 4, 1993

Las Vegas, Nevada

Caesar's Palace

 

-Announcers: Jim Ross, "Macho Man" Randy Savage & Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

 

-We Start with the big clebration of a Toga party. Jim Ross is making his Debut you know, and we follow with a loooooong parade of wild animals, including Camels, Elephants and Birds. Randy is carried to the ring by the Vestal Virgins, pur of body, and pure of thoughts, My fucking Ass, liar! Bobby comes out on a camel......BACKWARDS. Nuff said. Finkus Maximus is ready to start the show.

 

-After reading this, i forgot this was a full of nWo.

 

Intercontinental Championship Match:

Shawn Michaels © (w/ Luna) vs. Tatanka (w/ Sensation Sherri)

Sherri accompanies Tatanka to the ring, just to mess with Shawn. In retaliation, Shawn brings Luna Vachon to the ring, making her WWF debut. Fortunately, Tatanka is undefeated entering this match and beat Shawn twice leading up to this, once in a non-Title match and once in a six man tag featuring the Nasty Boys and I believe the Beverley Brothers (I remember watching the Singles match but no details). Tatanka works on Shawn's shoulder to start, which Shawn. Shawn bumps around like crazy, including taking an armdrag off the top. Shawn scores with a crescent kick to finally take over the match, but since its 1993, the move is non grata. Shawn with his clthesline to the floor from the apron. Tatanka makes a comeback, gaining several near falls, but can't put Shawn away. They brawl on the floor. Shawn is DQ'd after qhat i thought was a count out at 18:14. Good match. *** After the match, Luna viciously attacks Sherri. Good for her. HBK retains if you dont know title changing rules, whichare REMINDED ALMOST EVERY Match.

 

-Gene Okerlund interviews the Steiner Brothers, competing in their first Wrestlemania. Ironically, its their only Wrestlemania.

 

-The Steiner Brothers vs. The Headshrinkers (w/ Sika)

Jim Ross, debuts the term "slobberknocker" in the WWF, A phrase we all would be familiar with in recent years. Heenan with some wise cracks about him being oklahoman and his talking about Football repeatedly. Stiener Brothers are the 2nd and 3rd people we seen that turned nWo. (savage wa the 1st). Head Shrinkers dominate early, untl the tide is turned when both Stieners climb the same turnbuckle, and nail a double clothsline. Scott stays in, but Samu lifts him up and procede to dump him over the top rope, thanks to Fatu who pulled the ropes down. Call 911!  I don't know how he didn't get injured on that one. The Shrinkers work him over and no-sell everything that invloves them getting hit in the head. Scott makes the hot tag to Rick. He goes nuts, but the Shrinkers prepare to set him up for a double team move. Samu has Rick up for the doomsday device, but while Fatu is in midair, Rick nails an AWESOME powerslam off his shoulders to the mat. Scott finishes it with the Frankensteiner to Headhsrinker same for the pin at 14:22. ** Pretty decent match, since Shrinkers werent AT ALL that good.

 

-Gene interviews Doink the Clown, 1 guess how crazy it sounds?

 

-Hey wasnt their a Crush interview also about his injury?

 

-Crush vs. Doink

Both have awesome music. In the outdoors, Crush beats the shit out of doink on the outside, before his jacket comes off, and just slams him, punches and kicks his ass for a good few minutes. Slow doink offense insues, so its SUPER FAST FORWARD TIME! Crush once again is in control of the match thank god, and hooks the Cranium Crush(Crunch), but the ref isn't around to ring the bell, so Doink can't submit obviously. A second Doink comes out from under the ring, and nails Crush in the back of the head with a loaded cast. They mirror each other and laugh at the crowd. The second one goes back under the ring, and the original Doink covers for three at 8:29. * A second ref comes down to tell the first one what happened, and they look under the ring but can't find the mysterious second Doink. Doink is still a somewhat dominate heel, as Crush still has dignity asa  monster face who shouda gotten the Hogan push, not Lex Luger. Doink 2 was btw Steve Kiern, aka Skinner. (Doink 2 meaning the illegal one)

 

-Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Talk about nWo, heres the 1/3 of the founders. Razor for some reason jumped from the RR main event match to the lowest match on the card. Razor is being chanting as a face here, and this is pre Razor IC Title run. Razor and Backlund start to feel each other out. The announcers talk about an incident that occurred earlier in the day with Bret Hart and "The Narcissist" Lex Luger. There are concerns that Razor gets a small package out of nowhere for the winning pinfall at 3:46. Yep, thats ALL that I can say about this, so ill go *, for Razor beating the legendary(?) Bob Backlund.

 

-Mean Gene talks to the Tag Team Champions, Money Inc. Ted Dibiase makes speculating remarks about Hogan being hurt thanks to him. Nahahahahahaha!

 

-WWF-Tag Team championship Match:

Mega Maniacs (Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake) (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Money Inc. (Ted Dibiase & I.R.S) ©

It's ALL nWo here, Hogan, Diciple, Wallstreet, Dibiase! The announcers immediately notice that one of Hogan's eyes is nearly swollen shut. I believe it was because of a boating accident. Not Beefcakes. The announcers, however, assume that there was some foul play on Money Inc.'s part for storyline purposes. Hogan and Beefcake clear the ring of the heels then proceed to do some celebrating already. The match gets underway, and DiBiase gets pounded on by the faces for a fw minutes. Punches, rest holds and that shut. Money Inc. try to leave, but a Hebner call prevents them. Money Inc. rushes back into the ring, and soon get the better of Hogan. DiBiase puts him in the Million Dollar Dream. Beefcake interferes knocking Dibiase OUT COLD with his Sleeper, as it took about.....an hour for Hogan to sell Dibiase's. Hogan makes the big comeback. I guess Money Inc. is just no good without Jimmy running the show. Hogan makes the hot tag to Brutus who goes nuts until DiBiase clobbers Beefer with the briefcase of doom! DiBiase pulls off Beefcake's protective mask and he and IRS beat on his face. Beefcake fights back with the sleeper on IRS, but Dibiase knocks him out as well. For some reason Hogan and DiBiase wait in their repsective corners for the tag even though the ref is down. They finally come in, and Hogan hits both heels with Beefcake's mask. Both Beefcake & Hogan pin thier oppoents, but since Hebners out, no ocunt. Jimmy Hart hen turns his jacket inside out, revealing a striped referee shirt and counts the 3. And I BELIEVED IT! Another ref comes in, wakes Hebner up, and the Maniacs are disqualified at 18:41, im guessing for the use of the PROTECTIVE MASK OF DEATH. *** Jimmy tosses the ref out of the ring, Money Inc. bails, and the Maniacs celebrate. They open up Shyster's briefcase at ringside, and open it up to find paperwork, cash, and a brick. Hogan and Beefcake pass out money to the crowd at ringside. The celebration lasts for a looong time, with Real American playing all the while.

 

-Todd talks to Natalie Cole at ringside and some doof calling himself the CEO.

 

-Gene talks to Mr. Perfect, and they again bring up how Luger knocked out Bret Hart earlier in the day. He gets a cheap joke in saying "The Lexissist" Narc Luger. Im not laughing either.

 

-Mr. Perfect vs. "The Narcissist" Lex Luger

More nWo. Both men joined. Luger is still undefeated at this point,as he has four showgirls dressed in goldish bras and thongs escort him out to the ring. They all hold up mirrors for him that have blazing fireworks. Perfect enters to a good reaction. They go through a good wrestling sequence to start off. Luger catches him with a whip to the corner and Perfect sells a back injury. Luger's offense slows the match down a lot, but Perfect keeps it interesting with a big sunset flip that gets two. Perfect hooks a sleeper with more Heenan sarcasm. A Perfect small package gets 2. A backdrop, slingshot, and neckbreaker all get near falls for The Perfect one. He hits a dropkick off the top rope, but Luger gets his foot on the ropes. They battle over a backslide and Luger takes it. Perfect's feet end up on the ropes, but the ref doesnt acknowledge it, and counts the three for Luger at 10:57. Very good match. **3/4 Perfect gets knocked out shortly after, then finds luger in the back, where Shawn takes him apart. I wish they kept the Narcissist gimmick.

 

 

The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Giant Gonzalez (w/ Harvey Wippleman)

Slllllooooooooooooow plllooooooooooding offense by both men. Most notable thing is Undertakes Crow (or is it a reven)? Gonzalez has enough of taker and somethers himwith chloroform or something to Disqualify himself at a OVER ABBUSED 7:33. Refs come down to try to stop him, but Gonzalez chokeslams all of them. They finally take Undertaker to the back via a stretcher, why, i dont know, since hes ALREADY DEAD!! Gonzalez stands tall in the ring, but suddenly the bell tolls, and Taker comes stumbling back out down the aisle. The Undertaker punches away on him, then takes him off his feet with a big flying clothesline, first time the big lazy bastard ever goes down.

 

-Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan, Hogan is friends with Bret supposivly, Hogan, now decked out in his alternate red Hulkster outfit, issues a challenge to whoever walks out with the WWF Title after the next match.

 

WWF-Championship Match:

Bret "Hitman" Hart © vs. Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji)

And Bret is the final nWo'er. Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji do their traditional salt tossing routine to get some "Heel" Heat. Bret gets a outstanding ovation. Bret charges at him with a dropkick right off the bat. He hooks Yoko's legs in the ropes to knock him off his feet, then puts the boots to him and hits a second rope elbow. Bret follows up with a series of clotheslines. On the third try, however, it's Yokozuna that hits a clothesline. Yoko slams him and hits a big legdrop. USA chant for Hebner, since BRET IS GOD DAMN CANADIAN and YOKOZUNA'S "JAPANESE". Yoko eats boot on a corner charge, and Bret takes him down. Yoko comes back with a crescent kick and goes to a nerve hold. A loooooooooooooooong nerve hold. An avalanche misses, and Hart hits a bulldog from the second rope to get two. The second rope elbow gets two again. A second rope clothesline and a Hart Attack style clothesline takes the big guy down. Bret does the ten punches in the corner, but Yokozuna powers out. Bret rips the turnbuckle pad off as Yokozuna trys pulling him away. Bret reverses Yoko's attempt to use the exposed steel and slams Yoko's head into it instead. Yoko falls flat on his face, and Bret hooks the Sharpshooter despite Yoko's somewhat OVER GROWN legs. JR is going crazy for the first time.

 

SHAPRSHOOTER!

SHARPSHOOTER!

SHARPSHOOTER!

 

Just as Bret cinches back and the ref goes to check on Yoko to see if he's submitting, Mr. Fuji throws a handfull of "salt" right in Bret's eyes and Yokozuna hooks both legs and gets the three count at 8:56 to become the new WWF Champion. **. As HArt rolls to the ropes, My American Hero, hulk Hogan comes in and gets in Yoko & Hebners face. Remember he DID Challenge the winner.

 

-Mr. Fuji does his best English impersination, challenging Hulk to the newly won WWF championship. He calls hima yella belly.

Bret tells Hogan to go in, and we are underway.

 

-WWF-Championship Match:

Yokozuna © (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. Hulk Hogan

Yoko grabs hogan, Holds him in place as Fuji grabs for some salt, but Hogan ducks and the salt nails Yoko, who goes down after a clothesline. Legdrop later and Hogan is a 5 time WWF Champion at a time of 0:23, according to Randy Savage's "ding-ding". Hogan celebrates to A GREAT OVATION as the show comes to an end, as for yokos 2:00 title reign.

 

-Not THAT Bad a show, but it still was not the best ever either. So ill give it a SLIGHT RECOMENDATION, BY THE SKIN OF THE SHOWS TEETH.

[Guest Rose of Pain]

This has got to be first positive rant I have ever seen on this show. Quite a rarity. Oh well keep up the good work..

[Guest nWoScorpion]

I try to make the show sound good, even if it asnt. although i enjoyed it.

[Guest Drury37]

I thought this was a very good WWF WrestleMania,I really liked the outside thing too.

Thanks.