Wrestlemania VII

[Guest bob_barron]

Wrestlemania VII

Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Hacksaw Jim Duggan

 

Willie Nelson sings America the Beautiful

 

Sean Mooney interviews Rockers. They’re ready.

 

Rockers v. Faces of Fear (w/Brain)

 

HBK and Haku start. Haku takes control and kicks his ass. HBK blocks slam and a criss cross leads to hbk shoulderblock. Thumb to eye by Haku- tag Jannetty and they double team Haku. Barbarian levels both but Rockers beat on both. FOF bail. Jannetty and Barb go. Barb takes control and works him over. MJ comes back and does hurricarana for two. Tag Haku. MJ plays face-in-peril as heels work him over. Two backbreakers by Haku gets two for Barby. Blind charge by Barby misses but he gets powerslam but Jannetty comes back. Hot tag HBK who cleans house. HBK and Haku go-  it degenerates into a pier-4 brawl. Flying crossbody by HBK gets 3. Rockers had their working boots on **3/4

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW-HBK is retired but under WWF contract, Jannetty works indies, Haku is in WWF, Barby-?

 

Brain joins the commentary team as Hacksaw leaves. Mean Gene talks to Regis Philbin, Alex Trebeck and Marla Maples. Regis is funny, Marla is nervous and Alex confuses Mean Gene.

 

Dino Bravo (w/Jimmy Hart) v. “The Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich

 

Tornado gets mega-pop.  Bravo attacks to start- Tornado fights back but gets clothslined out. Brawl on the outside. Back in- Tornado takes control. Test of strength- Brav cheats. Blind charge by Tornado misses and Bravo kicks his ass. Elbowdrop-2. Side suplex-2. Bravo works him over. He misses from the top, and Tornado gets claw. Discus punch wins it. ¾*

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- both dead

 

Sean Mooney talks to Warlord and Slick. Slick rules. Gene talks to my god- Bulldog.

 

The Warlord (w/Slick) v. “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith (w/Winston)

 

Warlord doesn’t think DBS can escape his full nelson. DBS does. Lockup- Warlord overpowers him. Lockup- Warlord takes control. DBS cant knock him down but finally knows down the immovable object. Warlord bails. Back in- Warlord takes control. Warlord blocks crucifix. Warlord elbows him for two. Warlord works him over.  DBS beaks bearhug but gets stungunned. It gets two. Warlord hammers away.  Slugfest- DBS gets slammed. Chinlock by Warlord. DBS breaks and gets a dropkick. Warlord gets rammed 10 times into turnbuckle and DBS gets two on crossbody. Warlord blocks piledriver but DBS sunset flips him for two. Blind charge by DBS misses- Warlord gets full nelson. DBS breaks and gets running powerslam for the win. *- a bit long

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- out of wrestling, dealing with personal problems

 

Mean Gene talks to Nastys and Jimmy Hart. The Hart Foundation (w/Mooney) offer a rebuttal

 

Hart Foundation v. Nasty Boys (w/Jimmy Hart) for the WWF Tag Team Titles

 

Nastys won a battle royal to set this up. Hart and Saga lock up. Sags cheats and takes control. Hart gets Thesz Press and kicks both their asses. Hart works Sags over and lowblows Sags. Tag Knobbs who taunts Anvil so Anvil gets in. Lockup- Sags kicks his ass but Anvil comes back and Nastys bail. Back in- Anvil works him over. Tag Sags. Anvil gets trapped in heel corner and gets worked over. He comes back and tags Bret. Bret hammers away and does 10 punches. 5 MOVES OF DOOM! Nastys cheat and Bret plays face-in-peril. Backbreaker by Sags gets two and heels works him over more and get some near-falls. Bret comes back with neckbreaker but cant make tag and Bret gets his ass kicked more. Bret comes back but Nastys cheat more. Blind charge by Nastys misses, false tag Anvil. Heel miscommunication among Nastys results, hot tag Anvil for real who cleans house. Clothesline-2. Slam- Sags saves. Pier-4 brawl results. Bret pops Jimmy Hart. Hart Attack but ref sends Bret back to his corner as Sags bops Anvil with helmet for belt. **1/4 Hot beginning, hot ending, really bad middle

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Nastys are in XWF, Bret is in WWA, Anvil has personal matches

 

Video package of blindfold match. Jake gives an awesome interview

 

Jake “The Snake” Roberts v. Rick “The Model” Martel in a blindfold match

 

Martel blinded Jake with Arrogance. Jake has the crowd point to where Martel is. He finds Martel who falls over him and gets rolled up for two. Martel chokes him out but an Irish whip goes awry and they’re back to square one. They can’t find each other. Martel gets bodyslam but misses elbow.  Martel goes after ref thinking its Jake. Jake gets him but Martel makes ropes. Crowd chants DDT. Martel grabs Damien and runs. Jake gets Martel but tumbles outside. Martel gets chair but accidentally chairs ringpost. Back in- Martel works him over and gets Boston Crab. Jake breaks it and gets DDT. ¼*- This sucked but made me laugh once. Martel gets Damien post-match.

 

Marla Maples talks to Nastys, Earthquake, Mountie and Jimmy Hart. Celebration ensues.

 

The Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) v. Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka

 

Taker kills him the whole match and gets Tombstone. *- awesome squash match

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- demanding respect in WWF, retired

 

Video package of Savage- Warrior. Gorilla and Brain hype next match

 

“Macho King” Randy Savage (w/Sherri) v. Ultimate Warrior- career match

 

Savage cost Warrior the title at RR and they’ve been feuding ever since. ‘Warrior’  chant. They both pose. Lockup- Warrior shoves him down. Lockup- Macho takes control. Warrior breaks and Savage bails. Back in- Sheri disracts Warrior but Warrior still kicks Savage’s ass. Warrior works him over. Sherri interferes but gets beat on. Warrior  continues kicking Savage;s ass. He puts his head down and Savage clotheslines him. Savage goes up top but Warrior catches him and slaps him. Savage bails. Savage gets a chair and throws it in ring. It distracts Warriorso Savage attacks but Warrior lays it in more. Warrior stomps a mudhole and walks it dry and continues kicking his ass. Blind charge by Warrior misses and flies out where Sherri beat him up. Savage drops an elbow to the outside  and Sherri beats him more but gets shoved down. Savage attacks and Sherri kick his ass more. Back in- Savage slams him for two. Warrior backslides him for two. Savage spits at him and bails. Sherri distracts Warrior but it doesn’t fool Warrior who attacks Savage. Warrior misses Gorilla Splash and Savage covers-2. Savage goes for chinlock. Warrior powers out and gets clothesline and a double clothesline results. Both men out. Sherri tries to revive Savage. Warrior gets small package- no ref. Hebner finally leaves Sherri and it gets. Savage bumps Warrior into ref. Sherri accidentally nails Savage with her shoe. Savage rolls Warrior up for two and Warrior kicks his ass but Savage chucks him into ropes. Savage drops Warrior on ropes and slams him-2. Savage hits the flying elbow. Then a second one. A third one. A fourth one.  A fifth one. He covers Warrior…FOR TWO!!!!! Savage shits his pants. Warrior hulks  up and kicks his ass. Three clotheslines, press slam, gorilla splash. He covers…FOR TWO!!! Warrior shits his pants and talks to his hands and the sky. Warrior decides to leave but Savage attacks him before he does so. He lays Warrior on barricade and tries the flying elbow but Warrior moves and Savage goes splat. Clothesline- Savage flies out. Back in- Savage flies out on a shoulderblock. Shoulderblock #3- Savage flies out. He brings him and pins him with one foot on his chest. What an amazing, epic match ****1/2

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Holding up WWA for 5 mil, retired

 

Post-match Sherri yells at Savage and kicks him four times. Elizabeth hops the guard rail kicks Sherri’s ass. Once Savage realises who it is he freaks out and ponders what to do. They embrace and the crowd goes bonkers. “A moment in history”- Gorilla Monsoon. Even Brain has trouble hating it. They cut to fans who are crying their eyes out. Savage even holds the ropes for her as fans are still crying. Savage and Liz walk to the bag. Great moment.

 

Mean Gene talks about instant replay and Vince McMahon talks to George Steinbrenner and Paul McGuire about instant replay. George says fire a replay official if they take too long, Paul is anti-instant replay. George says fire bad refs and Paul calls him a butthead and they argue. The Bushwhackers try to play back the time- hilarity abounds.

 

Gorilla and Brain replay Savage-Liz and hype Virgil-Dibase, Bossman-Perfect and Hogan-Slaughter.

 

Regis is with Taker and Paul Bearer who measure him for a casket. Funny stuff. Alex Trebeck is with Jake and Damien. Damien watches Jeopardy and scares Trebeck.

 

Demolition (w/Mr. Fuji) v. Tenryu/Kitaro

 

Demolition were heels, just Smash and Crush and no one gave a shit about them. Demos attack but Kitaro comes back. Demos work Kitaro over. Brain and Gorilla are pretty funny. Hot tag Tenyru who cleans house but misses elbow. Demos kick more ass. Smash sets Tenyru for Demolition Decapitation but a brawl breaks out and Tenyru powerbombs Smash for the win. Farewell Demolition DUD

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Smash works indies, Crush is in WWA, the Japanese team I assume is Japan

 

Bossman tells Mean Gene he’s gonna win the title. Sean Mooney is with Brain and Mr. Perfect who mention Rodney King. Great stuff by the heels. Lord Alfred Hayes is on commentary now.

 

Mr. Perfect (w/Brain) v. Bossman for the I-C Title

 

Brain made comments about Bossman’s mommy to set this up. Bossman taunts Perfect with his towel and spits at him. Perfect is PISSED and spits at him Bossman smiles and Perfect bails. Bossman kicks his ass and Perfect oversells like mad and chucks him out. Back in- Bossman misses a blind charge and Perfect takes control but gets whipped hard and does the 360 sell. Bossman undoes his belt and whips him with it. Perfect takes the belt and whacks him with it so ref takes it out. Perfect works him over. Slugfest- Perfect wins and he works him over more. Abdominal stretch but Perfect doesn’t use ropes. Heenan tries to get timekeeper to ring bell. Dropkick gets two and Perfect does the neck snap. Perfectplex but Bossman gets small package for two. Necksnap again but he goes up top and he eats foot. Bossman kicks his ass and crotches him on ringpost. Bossman punches him and Perfect flies out. Brain distracts Bossman so Perfect rams him into steps and Brain kicks away. ANDRE THE GIANT!!!! He wanders out and Brain shits his pants. Perfect is busy removing the padding to notice. Perfect finally notices and gets distracted by Andre holding the belt. Perfect goes after it so Andre levels him with it but the Bossman is out and can’t cover. Andre stalks Brain as Bossman comes to his feet but only gets two. Faces of Fear run in for DQ. Bad ending to a good match. **1/2 Bossman and Andre clean house.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Both in WWF

 

Mean Gene talks to Donald Trump, Chuck Norris and The Fonz and Lou Ferrigino. Is Lou retarded? Brain is back, Lord is gone

 

Earthquake (w/Jimmy Hart) v. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

 

Earthquake kicks his ass. Slam-2. Blind charge by Quake misses and Hammer elbow smashes him. He finally gets Quake down but Jimmy Hart distracts him. Quake comes back and the BUTT splash wins it. ¾*

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- both at indies

 

Sean Mooney talks to LOD.        

 

Legion of Doom v. Power and Glory (w/Slick)

 

P&G attack to start but LOD kick some ass. Doomsday Device goodnight. DUD

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- LOD-XWF, P-n-G-?

 

Video package of Dibase-Virgil.

 

“Million Dollar Man” Ted Dibase v. Virgil (w/Roddy Piper)

 

After more than three years of abuse Virgil finally stood up for himself and knocked out Dibase and took on Roddy the Racist as his mentor. Dibase mocks him so Virgil peppers him with rights. Virgil shucks and jives and Dibase bails. “He’s got more moves than the Temptations”-Brain.  More right hands by Virgil- Dibase bails. Back in- same result. Dibase  clotheslines him but Virgil comes back and covers him- Dibase bails. Virgil outwrestles him and then Dibase outwrestles him and kicks his ass as Brain mocks Piper whose on crutches. Piledriver by Dibase-2. Suplex-2. Dibase works him over and chucks him out. Dibase shoves Piper and beats on Virgil more. Piper tries to get up and Brain makes fun of him. Piper and Dibase argue and Dibase gets counted out. Summerslam match was better. *1/2 Virgil gets his ass kicked post-match. Piper makes the save with his crutch but Sherri shows up and they beat on Piper w/ the crutch. Virgil chases them off. Piper refuses help and throws a crutch at a ref’s balls. Virgil orders Piper to get up and he does.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- retired, indies

 

Mooney talks to Sarge and Adnan and we get video of Sarge burning a Hulk shirt and chairing Hulk.

 

The Mountie (w/Jimmy Hart) v. Tito Santana

 

Lockup- Tito kicks his ass and knocks Mountie’s and Jimmy’s heads together.  Tito kicks his ass more but gets tazed and pinned. Could’ve been good but way too short DUD

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Running his own promotion, retired

 

Hulk talks to Mean Gene and we get footage of Sarge kicking his ass.  Fink brings out the celebs for the usual. Regis joins Brain and Gorilla for commentary.

 

Sgt. Slaughter (w/Gen. Adnan) v. Hulk Hogan for the WWF Championship

 

I think you all know the story here. Hulk chases Team Iraq. Lockup- huge U-S-A chant. Hulk shoves him down. Lockup- Hulk gets headlock. Sarge grabs the hair. Sarge goes flying down on a shoulderblock and Gen. Adnan pulls him out. Hulk runs out and they brawl on the outside. Hulk blocks steel chair and goes to kick Sarge’s ass but he begs off. He thumbs the eye and hammers away. Sarge elbows him and works him over. Sarge misses elbow and Hulk goes to work on him. He nails Adnan and kicks Sarge’s ass. Atomic drop-2. Hulk nails him for two. Sarge gets rammed into the turnbuckle and Hogan continues going medieval on his ass. Sarge goes face first into corner twice. Slingshot to the post and Hulk hammers away. Hulk whips him and clotheslines him and does the ten punches. Sarge gets rammed into corner for two. Hulk continues laying in the punishment. Gen. Adnan cheats and Hogan gets thrown off the top. Sarge clotheslines him out. Brawl on the outside. Sarge hits Hogan with steel chair. He chokes Hogan out w/ a cable. Back in- Sarge works him over. Sarge slams him for two and continues to work him over. Sarge gets Boston Crab. Hogan makes ropes. Sarge works on his back and drops a knee on Hogan’s kidney from top. Adnan distracts ref as Sarge makes the cover cause Iraqis are stupid. Sarge pastes Hogan with steel chair and Hogan blades. It gets two. Sarge continues the ass kicking. Camel Clutch by Sarge. Hogan powers up but Sarge is able to push him into the corner. He drapes the Iraqi flag over Hogan and covers him for two. Hoga rips up the flag and Hulks Up. Big boot, legdrop, new champ. Good match from these two. *** Hogan waves the American flag around.

 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW- Sarge still works for WWF, Hulk still wrestles in WWF    

 

The Bottom Line- While this WM is very long and has way too many matches the Warrior-Savage stuff is incredible and the Hogan-Sarge match isn’t bad either. This is also a fun show to watch and a fun way to spend three hours. Check it out.

 

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