Jump to content

happy b-day Incandenza


Recommended Posts

Guest saturnmark4life
Posted

well you like the smiths and AWK, so you have about a 99.9% chance of being really, REALLY cool. GET FUCKING DRUNK.

Guest Incandenza
Posted

I got a head start last night, thanks. It continues this evening, except strippers will be involved. Yay!

Guest Kinetic
Posted

Speaking of the Smiths, have you ever heard that song "Unhappy Birthday." Yeah.

Guest IDrinkRatsMilk
Posted

I'm not prolific enough for Incandenza to know who I am, but he's my favorite poster. Happy motherfuckin' birthday.

Guest Kotzenjunge
Posted

I'm soured on birthdays after my most recent. Hope yours is better.

Guest Sassquatch
Posted

Happy birthday Inc.

 

May your birthday n0ggin be good.

 

:P

Guest cobainwasmurdered
Posted
I'm not prolific enough for Incandenza to know who I am, but he's my favorite poster. Happy motherfuckin' birthday.

Hey I know who you are, and If you've managed to penetrate my air of indifference I'm sure Inc knows who you are.

Guest cobainwasmurdered
Posted
I'm not prolific enough for Incandenza to know who I am, but he's my favorite poster. Happy motherfuckin' birthday.

Hey I know who you are, and If you've managed to penetrate my air of indifference I'm sure Inc knows who you are.

Guest cobainwasmurdered
Posted
I'm not prolific enough for Incandenza to know who I am, but he's my favorite poster. Happy motherfuckin' birthday.

Hey I know who you are, and If you've managed to penetrate my air of indifference I'm sure Inc knows who you are.

Guest IDrinkRatsMilk
Posted

I was the subject of a CWM triple post... I feel so honored.

Guest cobainwasmurdered
Posted

It's the fucking server. Every fucking time I post it slows down to a crawl and when I refresh the page BAM! three or four posts by me.

 

I blame Popick.

Guest Kinetic
Posted

He's out celebrating his birthday, so allow me to remind you all that Incandenza is nothing more than a poor man's Kinetic.

Guest Incandenza
Posted

Thanks, one and all.

 

Last night, I was at Mons Venus, a strip club in Tampa, where

 

1. I saw famous soccer guy Kobe (or is it Cobi?) Jones. He never got a lapdance, as far as I noticed.

 

2. One of the strippers that approached me for a dance mentioned I look like Vin Diesel, minus 50 pounds of muscle mass, of course. I've heard this before, but, pretending I hadn't, I laughingly said I was working on it. She responded that if I got "on the juice you'd be there in no time." Maybe it was the way she said it, but I found that amusing.

 

3. The girl from whom I ultimately got a lapdance (well, two lapdances--the first one was a birthday gift; the second one I paid for out of my own pocket due to loving the first one so much) had perhaps the most wonderful fake breasts in the world. They weren't too big and they didn't have noticable implant hanging arc that a lot of fake ones do. In fact, until I got my hands on them--you're allowed to touch the girls everywhere but the crotch area--I had no idea whether or not they were real. Her breasts had that slight firmness that real ones just don't have.

 

Ah, I'm still thinking about those tits. They were that good.

Posted
One of the strippers that approached me for a dance mentioned I look like Vin Diesel, minus 50 pounds of muscle mass, of course.

Ugh.

 

You get that too fucking much.

Guest Incandenza
Posted

Hey, I enjoy hearing it, seeing as how the ladies think he's hot and all that.

Guest J*ingus
Posted

Well, he was even drunker than usual yesterday so he was unavailable, but we've got him today, ladies and gentlemen, singing Happy Birthday to Incandenza, Mr. Tom Waits!

 

::Tom stumbles onto stage, two cigarettes stuck between his lips, a bottle of bourbon in one hand, and a microphone in the other. He opens his mouth, and begins to sing, sounding like a tracheotomy patient being heard through the drive-thru speaker at McDonalds::

 

"Happy birthday to ya. Hippy bir'day ta yuh. Ha-a-appy... heeey big spender..."

 

::He passes out onto the floor, somehow managing to take a drink on the way down.::

 

Tom Waits, everyone! Happy late birthday, Inc.

Posted
Hey, I enjoy hearing it, seeing as how the ladies think he's hot and all that.

I know.

 

That's why I'm jealous of you.

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...