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Guest Retro Rob
Putting the F into FAILURE

the WWE report card for 2002

by Tom Zenk

“things aren't going well for WWE right now....”

Vince K McMahon, 9/27/02

 

Exactly one year ago, WWE issued a prospectus listing risk factors that could destroy the company. A year later, we review how Chairman of the Board, Vincent Kennedy McMahon, has been managing those risks, where the company stands today, some predictions for 2003 plus a review of WWE's key talents.

 

 

SUMMARY - VINCES RECORD OF FAILURE 2002

 

WWE continues to fall in value - from $1.1 billion in 2000 to $570 million in 2002; shares previously valued at $24 closed this week in the high 7’s. ['FAILURE'].

WWE reports a $1.6 million net loss for the second quarter ended Oct. 25, 2002 ['FAILURE'].

Vince loses $10 million on his $40 million, 600-seat theme restaurant "The World" in New York's Times Square. ['FAILURE'].

Kenton Jenkins, General Manager of "The World" arrested and charged with allegedly embezzling $437,000 from WWE. [‘SUCKERED?’]

9/27/02 Vince admits that Smackdown Records was a miscalculation ['FAILURE'].

Through the year, ratings for Smackdown decline more than 25% - from the high fours at the beginning of 2002 to 3.3 last week. Meanwhile, the production values of the company’s ‘flagship’ RAW decline faster than the ratings. ['FAILURE'].

In May 2002, faced with a lawsuit from the World Wildlife Fund, WWF changes its name to the WWE. Both the lawsuit and rebranding reportedly cost WWE around $50 million. [' FAILURE'].

WWE lose their main event as Austin walks out after Wrestlemania. [TALENT RELATIONS FAILURE'].

October, 2002 - WWE pays $13 million to settle a lawsuit filed by the talent agency William Morris Inc. over commissions. ['LEGAL FAILURE'].

The World Wildlife Fund announces a legal claim against WWE for $360 million for copyright infringement. A British judge advises third party licensees to pursue McMahon for the cost of pulling games from shop shelves. Potential multi million dollar losses. ['IMPENDING LEGAL AND FINANCIAL  DISASTER].

October, 2002 - Linda McMahon fires both WWE's chief financial officer and chief marketing officer, saying the company needed a change. ['MANAGEMENT FAILURE'].

WWE’s contract with UPN due to expire at the end of the current 2002/2003 television season. UPN seeking to cut Smackdown to one hour, if renewed.

 

RISK FACTORS

 

According to the WWE document (dated December 21, 2001) -  

 

(1) “For the foreseeable future , we will depend heavily on the vision and services of Vincent McMahon. ..Mr. McMahon leads the creative team that develops the storylines and the characters for our televised programming and live events….”

 

So how has Vince performed in the development of creative and entertaining storylines during 2002? First, Vince’s angle with Flair for control of Raw and Smackdown FAILED. The Brand Extension and so-called ‘draft’ FAILED –the NWo angle FAILED – ‘Hulkastalgia’ burned out within weeks - the gay wedding backfired – necrophilia FAILED – the whole HHH mega-push FAILED - Brock Lesnar versus Lennox Lewis and Kurrt Angle versus Michael Moore fell through. Last week it was reported that “Vince McMahon is extremely frustrated with HIS FAILURE to attract mainstream viewers to WWE again. He admits that HE has run out of ideas to bring them back.”  

 

(2) “The loss of Mr. McMahon due to retirement, disability or death could have a material adverse affect on our ability to create popular characters and creative story lines.”

 

VKM is in the same position now as his father was twenty years ago when Vinnie took over from his dad. VKM is getting old and out of touch with his key demographic.  Earlier this year, Vince Russo reported on a meeting with the post-XFL VKM - "I was absolutely shocked and taken back because this was not the same guy that I worked so closely with for three years. The fire wasn't there. The hunger wasn't there.…. Vince always likes to use the word bravado, and the bravado just wasn't there. There could be a lot of reasons for that...... From a personal standpoint I just felt like I was dealing with a totally different individual."

 

It’s past time for WWE renewal via the new succession. The big retirement house in Boca Raton, Fla. is beckoning. But as Vince prepares for his senior years, who's left to carry forward the WWE legacy? Shane’s a disappointment and has been relegated to the back office as “President of Media Content Development” (whatever that is?) And if VKM's banking on Steph (“Director of Television Writing”) and Crips for his legacy, he's done!! Meanwhile VKM and Linda refuse to look outside the family for a new President or CEO. Instead they keep on talking up the kids..... Linda last week -"Stephanie and Shane bring issues to the table," she said. "They are the bright new, young minds." Whatever. According to some experts, most family businesses fail to survive the ‘second’ generation. Looks like WWE will be no exception.  Having screwed thousands of wrestlers and ‘killed off’ more than a few careers to build an empire, Vincent Kennedy McMahon seems destined to spend his twilight years watching Titan disappear down the toilet.  

 

(3) "Our success depends in large part upon our ability to recruit, train or retain athletic performers who have (i) the physical presence, (ii) acting ability and (iii) charisma to portray characters in our live events and televised programming. We cannot assure that we will be able to continue to identify, train and retain these performers in the future.”

 

''We've always been able to make stars, but it takes awhile,'' McMahon said last week. ``You can't just snap your fingers and replace an Austin or a Rock.''

 

How long a while should it take HHH to "draw" if VKM has been snapping his fingers all year, had a dozen TV's on in the house to help his sagging ratings, plus a huge clique of pseudo HHH fans working the net?

 

(a) This year Ross lost Austin, or at best, failed to protect him from Steph and Crips:

(b) the Rock was diverted to the company’s peripheral film making activities;

© instead of training new talent to carry forward the company,  VKM and Ross dumped their development deal with Heartland Wrestling and in a classic case of short termism, opted instead for old timers recruited at huge expense – Shawn Michaels, Hollywood Hogan, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall come to mind. This week it was reported that “Nash's rehab from quadricep surgery is going much slower than anticipated. (wow!!) No timetable for his return is available, and he will not be returning at the Royal Rumble.” Altogether Big Lazy will be averaging about 5 matches a year by the time he comes back from his current injury. Good con if you can get it! And a better con than Turner cash.

(d) Instead, of building new talent, WWE fed much of the next generation to Cripple H’s massive ego.  Crips’ work is so transparent, he has to be protected. He FAILS all three WWE criteria of “physical presence, acting ability and charisma.” When was the last time Crips had a memorable match, much less drew a full house, or even drew a buyrate?  

 

(4) “Because our revenues are generated directly or indirectly from the distribution of our televised programming any failure to maintain or renew these arrangements with the distributors …. could have a material adverse effect on our operating results.”

 

WWE have an agreement with Viacom through the television season ending September 2005. Smackdown is broadcast on UPN through the 2002/2003 television season. Throughout 2002, WWE concentrated its resources on getting their UPN Smackdown deal renewed. The deal itself is hardly in doubt. What’s at issue is the price WWE will be able to charge UPN for Smackdown programming. UPN is getting hammered in the ratings and having to do make-good ads. The network is down 30% in the 18-34 demo from last year and Smackdown's decline is part of that. Ratings for Smackdown have declined more than 25% - from the high fours at the beginning of 2002 to 3.3 last week. Meanwhile, the production values of the company’s ‘flagship’ RAW (Viacom) have declined almost as fast as its ratings.

 

This week it was reported that UPN are considering cutting the length of Smackdown from two hours to just one hour if they renew the contract when it expires in August.  

 

On 9/27 Vinnie told shareholders “everyone in WWE was fully aware that ratings would drop with the ['FAILED'] brand  extension but that it's something they need to do to prepare for the future. .. WCW would have been their second brand and when that fell through ['FAILED'] they had to go in a different direction. ... Someone asked if the ratings decline was due to the fact that Rock, Austin, and Hogan haven't been on TV. Vince said no, it's because of the ['FAILED'] brand extension and he fully expected the decline ['FAILURE']. He again said that THEY needed to move backwards ['FAIL'] before they could go forward.”

 

Meanwhile, according to CEO Linda, "The goal is to make viewers watch on both Monday and Thursday nights. It's a process of changing viewing habits. We knew when we undertook this it wasn't going to be easy. We figured it would take 12 to 18 months, so I feel we are on pace. It's starting to get some traction." Well they would say that.. WWE product is failing and WWE management are desperately trying to buy time.

 

(5) “We will face a variety of risks as we expand into new and complementary businesses.”

 

“Complementary businesses?” Yeah - like the XFL? In the past two years, WWE's value has fallen from $1.1 billion in 2000 to $700 million in 2001 to $570 million in 2002, with shares previously valued at $24 closing this week in the high $7’s. WWE’s business strategy, of diversifying into complementary businesses to protect its bottom line against wrestling down cycles, has FAILED. The expansion has become a retreat, or more properly, a rout. It's a slippery slope, but they can't say they weren't warned.

 

For the second quarter ended Oct. 25, 2002, WWE reported a $1.6 million net loss down from a $4.8 million net profit a year earlier.  

 

Vince also lost $10 million on his $40 million, 600-seat theme restaurant "The World" in New York's Times Square. On 9/27 this year, Vince admitted “The World” was horribly mismanaged and lacked direction ['FAILED']. He said that “The World” would be transformed from a loss leader ['FAILURE'] into a profit center. ... A few weeks later Kenton Jenkins, former General Manager of "The World" was arrested in New York, and charged with the alleged embezzlement of $437,000 from WWE (‘SUCKERED?”)

 

On 9/27 Vince also admitted that Smackdown Records was a “miscalculation” ['FAILURE'] and the company is now more or less done. In its place, Vince and Linda are talking up their new in-house movie production company [‘IMPENDING FAILURE’]. According to Linda, the new division will create television shows and lo-budget or straight-to-video movies with WWE superstars targeted to WWE fans as well as the general public. She said the company is also developing animated programming and hopes to have the cartoons on the air within 18 months, though it doesn't have a network contract yet.

 

So much for ‘complementary businesses’ and the WWE’s overall business strategy. You knew it was all over when, in October this year, Linda fired WWE’s Chief Financial Officer and their Chief Marketing Officer on the same day, saying the company “needed a change.”  

 

(6) “[Another major risk is] our inability to protect our intellectual copyright or our infringement of others intellectual property rights [World Widlife Fund litigation].”

 

Faced with a lawsuit from the World Wildlife Fund, WWF changed its name in May, 2002 to the WWE. Both the lawsuit and re-branding have been estimated to cost the company around $50 million.  

 

Additionally, in October 2002, WWE agreed to pay $13 million to settle a lawsuit filed by the talent agency William Morris Inc. over commissions.

 

WWE is now facing additional litigation from the World Wildlife Fund - litigation so extensive and potentially damaging that WWE was forced to issue an advisory to the Securities Exchange Commission (SEC) stating - "An unfavorable outcome... may have a material adverse effect on the Company's financial condition, results of operations or prospects." That's because, in addition to the $360 million being sought by the Wildlife Fund, WWE also faces potential claims for losses  by third party licensees prevented by law from selling licensed products containing the WWF scratch logo. No sooner said that done. On Nov 26, 2002  a British judge ruled that the US video games publisher THQ would be in contempt of court if it continued to market a wrestling game featuring a "WWF" logo.  The judge advised THQ to pursue McMahon for the cost of pulling games from store shelves over Christmas. “It was the WWE that got them into this mess," Judge Jacob told the court. THQ’s losses could be as much as  $70 million a year. Add that to $360 million that the World Wildlife Fund wants and "this could be very dangerous.”(Dave Meltzer). WWE’s total value is around $570 million and falling. Subtract $360 million plus (say) $200 million in damages and you see the problem. Vince is reportedly "annoyed and dismayed." Linda is "dumbfounded, shocked and angered ...Calling the Wildlife Fund’s new legal action "extortion," she asks "Why are these people still harassing us!!!” What goes around, comes around, I guess?

 

 

The future

With the McMoron succession uppermost in Vince’s mind, it’s a safe bet there’ll be lots more of the golden couple (Big Steph and Crips) on TV through 2003. But I’m predicting Crips will be gone from our screens by the end of 2003. He’s had his big chance and failed. Exactly how many weeks was "paper machie man” off with injuries. And now HHH is out of action AGAIN with what was diagnosed as partial tear of the right quad (the left one is the one he had surgery on). Wrong dose again? HHH sure picks his spots and injuries, when he can't compete with the stars. HHH still won't draw after all this crap, unless he gets Austin or Steiner to feed off . But would Austin or Steiner be so stupid? Anyway, why would Vince want a roided up lame asshole for a son, anyway? The McMahon’s want to be blue blood… not blue collar. HHH is on his last leg. It’s way past “shit or get off the pot” time for the Game. If he can’t get the job done with Steph, Ace and I’ve got our hands up. The McMahon gene pool needs new blood and better calves. Vince, Ace and I are agreed. Stephanie needs a new man. My prediction for 2003 --HHH will retire with a serious injury, mmaybe related to drug use, point being he finally takes to the book.

 

Big Steph

Fuck!!.... does Steph suck. She's gotta be a hell of a bump between the sheets. Remember Raven with the guy licking his feet? ('hint'... suck her toes HHH) I know for sure HHH can't screw BIG STEPH's brain out. He couldn't even satisfy Terri Tramp.  

 

Austin

Austin comes back... Vinnie's gonna fuck Steve over?? Surely Vince can't be that fuckin stupid?? He must be high? oh well ... .

 

RVD

So RVD smokes dope as we all do. BAD RVD. How can you be stoned and still out perform HHH???  Easy, HHH is like Dustin or DDP. "Plain" and "simple". DDP proved the formula works. "Fuck the gash....get the cash."

HHH must have "it" in for RVD. Hope Steph never said he was good looking?

 

Goldberg

VKM was too cheap to buy Goldberg when he needed him for strong "BRAND" extension. You feed the fire of your core business at all costs. But Vinnie was much too full of himself. Now he’s gonna have to pay whatever Bill wants. Goldberg wants to work with Austin, Rock, Lesnar or HHH. Bill says “I can't speak on HHH's current backstage antics but I think we all know how I'd handle HHH". Goldberg vs Austin, Goldberg vs Lesnar followed by Goldberg finishing HHH’s career – I’ll pay to see that.

 

Hogan

Hogan baits the hook with his “Billy Goldberg bro" shit. VKM needs help. Hogan sees an entrée for himself. Remember this is the man who can't see any future for himself outside wrestling.

 

HBK

VKM will get revenge on HBK for sitting out with a bad back for $15,000 per week. HHH got his buddy to come back to help put HHH over - only the reality was, it all meant nothing. HHH the student of the game should have known HBK was a waste of time. So RVD isn't ready to be champ? but Shawn was? Revenge at all costs and the hell for what’s right for the company.  

 

Bischoff

In a few months, after renegotiating the UPN deal, Vince rides in to save RAW. According to EB -“ One of the things I’ve noticed about WWE is that (unlike the WCW) they are blessed with many talented people who have been in the business a long time.” So this time Eric had a well-oiled machine to back him up. Finally, we got to see what Eric was made of.  RAW’s ratings headed towards Nitro levels – AND THIS TIME THERE WERE NO EXCUSES!!

 

Brand Extension

There’ll be no early end to the Brand Extension between "Raw" and "Smackdown!" According to Linda “The company expected that splitting television wrestling into two shows with new plot lines would take time to develop. Once it does, she said, the separate shows will enable the company to increase viewership, attendance at live events, revenues and merchandising opportunities.” But has the split left WWE half full or half empty. Doubling the shows and halving the talent means diluting the product in a vain attempt to increase revenues. WWE is planning 350 live events in fiscal 2003 in increasingly remote locations. Consider, for a moment, the long term impact on the workers of the debilitating travel. It's not a good idea to wrestle so many shows with the current style - just ask the good Doc Andrews whom so many WWE talents visit on too many occasions, Ross should know better. His reports tell the story. Meanwhile, more international borders crossed increases the possibility of a damaging drugs bust. Just wait and watch. .

 

Nicole Bass

Big ass Nicole Bass will be back after losing the court case. Nuttin’ means nothing when all the squirrels are nuts in the trees?

 

Angle and Brock

If America goes to war, expect a HUGE ANGLE  for Kurt Angle and Brock – revelling in Americana. These two are the best of what's WWE's currently got going.

 

Jim Ross

Back when good ole JR referred to injured WCW stars as in "this ain't ballet folks" JR was riding the XFL "high" like Vinny was.  Vinny referred

to NFL players as "pantywaists" or "sissies" so the media would pounce on it. Now things aren't so bright for good ole JR. A VP of Talent Relations who loses the company's best talent and costs them millions isn't gonna last long, even in Whackyworld. Ross predicts that 2003 will be a breakout year for "many deserving talents." Same song as 2002? That talent should include Johnny Ace who's currently being groomed to replace Ross. Jim Ross goes south to see Doc Andrews to have his stretch marks removed from his lips, while discussing common "ballet" type injuries plaguing WWE superstars.  

 

 

 

 

Your feedback

Hey Z-man, You just had to be rolling on the floor laughing your ass off when Crips told Steiner that “Things here don't work as they did in WCW, u have to earn stuff here !!!!!!” That was hillarious, especially coming from this prick ! U have to earn stuff so much that they GAVE him a belt that wasn't used. And they keep giving it to him even if his matches suck and he gets no heat. Tell me something. How come Trips never backs down and is never scared of the babyfaces, like all top heels are supposed to do. (Hogan looked like he saw a ghost when Sting showed up, Rock ran from Austin, Austin ran from Angle, etc, etc). All this just shows how little respect this jacked-up low-life has for other wrestlers and the business. And what the fuck was Crips trying to say when he said Rock was making movies and he knew why ? ‘Cause he makes 10 times more money making one movie then Trips makes in 5 years? ‘Cause he entertains people in the ring more than the crippled H ? I still can't believe Rock agreed to job to that sucker so many times without complaining, something Crips would never have done. Keep up the good work Z-man. Out !

 

***

The 'Netter-suggested awards...

 

rec.sport.pro-wrestling.info, rec.sport.pro-wrestling.moderated, rec.sport.pro-wrestling

 

Best disgruntled wrestler-turned-internet columnist:  

1st: Tom Zenk

2nd: Honkytonk Man

3rd: Bret Hart

4th: Ultimate Warrior

 

***

"Greetings from under the orange foam rubber cowboy hat.  This week, I want to discuss how everyone in the locker room loves HHH.  But first I have to discuss my Sooners.  Oh, how I love that college football.  Too bad none of the players are of the calibre of a HHH.

 

It has been reported that HHH suffered an injury several months ago while banging away at the Katie Vick mannequin.  I can report that this is true, as he had to have a splinter removed from, how shall I say this, a very sensitive area.  But being the tough sonofagun that he is, HHH only missed one interview.  Okay, half an interview.  

 

Over on the SmackDown side, SmackDown General Manager Triple Ass came to her senses and let Kurt Angle win the belt.  Of course, if he had been facing a real man like HHH, Kurt would have run away crying like the pussy he is.  I have to say that those Angle-Benoit matches are a treat to watch.  Too bad neither of those boys have the talent or charisma of HHH.

 

Talent Releases - GAWDALMIGHTY, I wanted to let RvD go this week.  The boy can't wrestle and he keeps making fun of my crack addiction.  We also wanted to let Jericho go, because he thinks HHH has something against him.  We almost had to let Jerry "the oversexed pervert" Lawler go, as he was caught choking the chicken in the Titan Towers bathroom.  Once he was informed that he had to let HBK do that for him, he understood and stopped immediately.

 

Well, I have to go add another pound of lard to my barbeque sauce.  It'll be available in stores as soon as Hogan can write an actual book on wrestling.  Until then, this has been your Hoss Report."

 

***

 

Y'know, Z-Man (I've been looking for an excuse to say that my whole life), things were going OK for a while. About two years ago, the fine folks over at AT&T decided to take away one third of the channels we were getting (without reducing the price, mind you), and TNN was one of the first to go.  I was pissed for a while, because I couldn't watch RAW.

 

If I had only known how good I had it.

 

My aunt and her two sons recently moved to my city, and they have TNN.  Well, one of her sons is just as big a mark as I am, so I knew this meant that we would inevitably end up watching RAW together.  Well, I've been going over there and watching it for the longest time (actually, only like a month), and it was the worst thing to ever happen to my perception of wrestling since the T.L. Hopper/Duke "The Dumpster" Droese fued.  The matches were terrible (even when good talent was in it).  The storylines were abyssal (not that SmackDown!s are any better).  And, more importantly, it made me remember how HGH, Pushkill, The Lame, Cripple H, or whatever the fuck you want to call him is the king of all professional wrestling. See on SmackDown!, the crappy wrestlers were fewer (Lesnar, Henry, Albert, and 'Taker were the only ones at the time), and the matches were almost always 3-5 star.

 

Now, to my point.  Last Monday, D'Lo Brown got pinned by Jeff "Ruining my dream every chance I get" Hardy while his foot was on the ropes.  Later on, after some stupid boring segment I wasn't paying attention to, the ref went into the locker room to apologize after realizing what he had done.  Here's the fun part. D'Lo claimed that the ref did it because he's black and the ref is white.  Sounds like the Nation of Masturbation, Constipation, Menstruation, Retardation, or whatever the fuck you want to call it all over again.  Now all we need is for him to walk around with "Black Pride" shirts on and for a white babyface to destroy him every week.  Then throw in a Puerto Rican heel (or any Hispanic for that matter, I don't think anybody at Titan would know the difference) and you've got yourselves some ratings.  After all, didn't the gang wars of '97 draw huge?

 

Now that I've gotten this BS out of the way, please allow me to offer some constructive criticism.  First off, I think we all oughta lay off of Crips' steroid abuse.  If we can bother him about that, then we'd have to bother just about everybody (including my two faves, Benoit and Eddie Guerrero) in the WWF (I will never call it WWE).  Secondly, I think we need to lay off of Crips altogether.  All it does is egg them on. Last Monday, they made RAW "Triple H Appreciation

Night", and I'm 100% sure it was a shot at the internet marks and journalists, more specifically

Z-Man, you and I.  That's it for constructive criticism, mostly because you are doing everything

right already.

 

Now, I have a question that begs to be answered by not only myself, but by a lot of your fans and readers.  I realize you hold grudges against a LOT of wrestling personalities, and for 90% of them, I agree.  The ones I don't seem to understand are Chris Jericho and Mick Foley.  I'm not going to be one of those morons who hate you just because you don't like somebody I do like, I'm honestly curious WHY you don't like those two guys and curious if it's a reason I shouldn't like them.  Because, in all honesty, Chris Jericho (along with Booker T and RVD) is holding RAW together by it's seams, and I consider Foley to be a legend in nearly (nearly being the operative word) every sense of word in professional wrestling.

 

I also find it somewhat ironic that you hate both HGH AND Jericho, as half the reason I hate HGH is for holding down Jericho the past 3 years.  I'd say he should be castrated, but the needle sticking out of his ass says that there isn't much left to castrate.

 

Can someone explain this comment to me,

 

"Big Steph

Fuck!!.... does Steph suck. She's gotta be a hell of a bump between the sheets. Remember Raven with the guy licking his feet? ('hint'... suck her toes HHH) I know for sure HHH can't screw BIG STEPH's brain out. He couldn't even satisfy Terri Tramp."

 

Where the hell did that Raven comment come from?

 

Also, does Zenk honestly think that ANYONE wants to see Nichole Bass back in the WWE?

 

And that JR stuff was just cruel.

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Guest EternallyLazy
Can someone explain this comment to me,

 

"Big Steph

Fuck!!.... does Steph suck. She's gotta be a hell of a bump between the sheets. Remember Raven with the guy licking his feet? ('hint'... suck her toes HHH) I know for sure HHH can't screw BIG STEPH's brain out. He couldn't even satisfy Terri Tramp."

He's either implying that HHH may not be very well "equipped" or... maybe Zenk and Paul had a torrid homosexual affair in WCW and the Z-Man is just letting everyone know that HHH isn't "all that."

 

 

Afterall, I've always heard rumors that Zenk was gay

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Guest Retro Rob
maybe Zenk and Paul had a torrid homosexual affair in WCW and the Z-Man is just letting everyone know that HHH isn't "all that."

That is a possibility, but what the hell was he talking about with Raven? I'm always horrible when it comes to reading between the lines.

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Guest Downhome

I agree with ALMOST everything he said, that was a great read, and TRUE damnit! Here are my favorite parts...

 

Angle and Brock

If America goes to war, expect a HUGE ANGLE  for Kurt Angle and Brock – revelling in Americana. These two are the best of what's WWE's currently got going.

 

Hey now, I called that the moment I heard Angle/Brock would be feuding. It WILL be the biggest angle in years, mark my words!

 

"Greetings from under the orange foam rubber cowboy hat.  This week, I want to discuss how everyone in the locker room loves HHH.  But first I have to discuss my Sooners.  Oh, how I love that college football.  Too bad none of the players are of the calibre of a HHH.

 

It has been reported that HHH suffered an injury several months ago while banging away at the Katie Vick mannequin.  I can report that this is true, as he had to have a splinter removed from, how shall I say this, a very sensitive area.  But being the tough sonofagun that he is, HHH only missed one interview.  Okay, half an interview.  

 

Over on the SmackDown side, SmackDown General Manager Triple Ass came to her senses and let Kurt Angle win the belt.  Of course, if he had been facing a real man like HHH, Kurt would have run away crying like the pussy he is.  I have to say that those Angle-Benoit matches are a treat to watch.  Too bad neither of those boys have the talent or charisma of HHH.

 

Talent Releases - GAWDALMIGHTY, I wanted to let RvD go this week.  The boy can't wrestle and he keeps making fun of my crack addiction.  We also wanted to let Jericho go, because he thinks HHH has something against him.  We almost had to let Jerry "the oversexed pervert" Lawler go, as he was caught choking the chicken in the Titan Towers bathroom.  Once he was informed that he had to let HBK do that for him, he understood and stopped immediately.

 

Well, I have to go add another pound of lard to my barbeque sauce.  It'll be available in stores as soon as Hogan can write an actual book on wrestling.  Until then, this has been your Hoss Report."

 

That is the most realistic Ross Report I have ever read, finally, he speaks what is really on his mind. Damn, that was funny as hell.

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Guest IB2BLACK

This dude, definately has a hard on for HHH & Vince. Jesus Christ, move on with your life. He's sound like a jilted ex.

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Guest Downhome
This dude, definately has a hard on for HHH & Vince. Jesus Christ, move on with your life. He's sound like a jilted ex.

It didn't sound any different than reading any number of posts here.

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All I can say is "He had nearly an entire month to write this column and this is the best he could come up with?". Especially given the quality of last year's "Year End" column......

 

For someone who's gained notoriety over bashing the WWE, Zenk let the WWE off easy for this year's shitfest......

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Guest Retro Rob
This dude, definately has a hard on for HHH & Vince. Jesus Christ, move on with your life. He's sound like a jilted ex.

It didn't sound any different than reading any number of posts here.

:spank:

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<Also, does Zenk honestly think that ANYONE wants to see Nichole Bass back in the WWE?>

 

I think that the Bass comment may have been about her appealing the verdict in her civil suit against the WWE over sexual harrasment.

 

<And that JR stuff was just cruel.>

 

Not really, given that JR has become nothing but a company shill who's broken record shenanigans have shown how utterly impotent and useless he is....

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Guest Downhome
This dude, definately has a hard on for HHH & Vince. Jesus Christ, move on with your life. He's sound like a jilted ex.

It didn't sound any different than reading any number of posts here.

:spank:

Hey, it's true isn't it?

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Guest webmasterofwrestlegame

Reading that kinda made me wanna write a post defending WWE over some stuff because Zenk comes across as a bitter ass, but it was hard when everything he said was so very, very true.

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Guest Human Fly

Zenk is too bitter for his own good. Who knows how factual what he says is? But, it's entertaining.

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Guest NYCTA Bus No. PA1767

*Sigh* This is no different than what would happen if one of you all were in Zenk's position.

 

Anyway, the guy's been on the same HHH/Vince/Steph/gay love for Austin tangent for years now. I mean it was shocking on the beginning, but now you can find this stuff on your everyday wrestling message board, and funnier at that.

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Guest Vern Gagne
It didn't sound any different than reading any number of posts here.

It seems personal with Zenk. I hope everyone here forgets about HHH, and Vince when they aren't here or watching wrestling.

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Guest RickyChosyu

I'm really groing tired of the fruitless belly-aching that comes from several people on this board in regard's to Zenk's columns. It's not *that* hard to simply post what he says and explain why you disagree with it. Instead all I see is a whole lot of complaining about how "bitter" Zenk is, never once explaining why that comes out in his writing, or why anything he says can be refuted. If you're going to make a point, make your point, or don't waste everyone's time.

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Guest Retro Rob

When it comes down to the FACTS that Zenk stated, whether or not is a bitter guy means nothing. All of the failures he listed were either stated in WWE press confrences or just common knowledge (Ratings, SCSA walkout).

 

As for him being a bitter guy, I like to read Zenk's columns, but it is blatantly obvious that the man is bitter. If you want proof look at all the shit he says about Vince McMahon, Steph and HHH. None of that can be considered FACT, so he is essentially slandering people in the WWE because the company screwed him 10 years ago.

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Guest RickyChosyu
As for him being a bitter guy, I like to read Zenk's columns, but it is blatantly obvious that the man is bitter. If you want proof look at all the shit he says about Vince McMahon, Steph and HHH. None of that can be considered FACT, so he is essentially slandering people in the WWE because the company screwed him 10 years ago.

Again, if you find something particularly slanderous, point it out. Blanket statements like "that Zenk guy is just a bitter jerk" don't help anyone.

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Guest Downhome
It didn't sound any different than reading any number of posts here.

It seems personal with Zenk. I hope everyone here forgets about HHH, and Vince when they aren't here or watching wrestling.

I don't think so, I think he's just trying to write an entertaining column to get people talking about it, while venting a bit. No different than many of the people here.

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Guest Tony149

 

Can someone explain this comment to me,

 

"Big Steph

Fuck!!.... does Steph suck. She's gotta be a hell of a bump between the sheets. Remember Raven with the guy licking his feet? ('hint'... suck her toes HHH) I know for sure HHH can't screw BIG STEPH's brain out. He couldn't even satisfy Terri Tramp."

I guess Zenk means the roids made HHH's dick small, so he can't deliver the goods to Steph. And Raven did an angle on Heat a few months back where Raven put his foot on a sandwhich and told the guy he was wrestling that night to eat the sandwhich.

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Guest Retro Rob
As for him being a bitter guy, I like to read Zenk's columns, but it is blatantly obvious that the man is bitter.  If you want proof look at all the shit he says about Vince McMahon, Steph and HHH.  None of that can be considered FACT, so he is essentially slandering people in the WWE because the company screwed him 10 years ago.

Again, if you find something particularly slanderous, point it out. Blanket statements like "that Zenk guy is just a bitter jerk" don't help anyone.

Did you read the damn column? If so than you should know what I'm eluding to when I said, "If you want proof look at all the shit he says about Vince McMahon, Steph and HHH." Remembering what you read is called "reading comprehension", considering you forgot what Zenk said about those three people you probably need to brush up on that skill. Or maybe you are just looking to be a pain in the ass who needs me to fucking quote exact lines from a column that is already posted at the top of this thread. Seriously, if after reading my reply you were so compelled as to find out what it was that Zenk said about HHH, Vince and Steph and scroll back up the page and find it yourself. To help you along use keyword search by pressing CTRL and F at the same time. Also, I don't think that anyone needs to quote exact parts of his column that prove that Zenk is a bitter man. I would hope that after reading the column, that point would be made quite obvious to you and all the other posters.

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Guest buffybeast
"Our success depends in large part upon our ability to recruit, train or retain athletic performers who have (i) the physical presence, (ii) acting ability and (iii) charisma to portray characters in our live events and televised programming.

 

Instead, of building new talent, WWE fed much of the next generation to Cripple H’s massive ego.  Crips’ work is so transparent, he has to be protected. He FAILS all three WWE criteria of “physical presence, acting ability and charisma.” When was the last time Crips had a memorable match, much less drew a full house, or even drew a buyrate?

 

That's not fair. Now, I am not a HHH lover in any respect. But to say the man has no physical presence or charisma is just bullshit. The man has an incredible presence and has charisma.

 

Instead they keep on talking up the kids..... Linda last week -"Stephanie and Shane bring issues to the table," she said. "They are the bright new, young minds." Whatever. According to some experts, most family businesses fail to survive the ‘second’ generation.

 

Umm, wouldn't Stephanie and Shane be the THIRD generation of Mcmahons to run the family business?

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Guest AndrewTS
"Our success depends in large part upon our ability to recruit, train or retain athletic performers who have (i) the physical presence, (ii) acting ability and (iii) charisma to portray characters in our live events and televised programming.

 

Instead, of building new talent, WWE fed much of the next generation to Cripple H’s massive ego.  Crips’ work is so transparent, he has to be protected. He FAILS all three WWE criteria of “physical presence, acting ability and charisma.” When was the last time Crips had a memorable match, much less drew a full house, or even drew a buyrate?

 

That's not fair. Now, I am not a HHH lover in any respect. But to say the man has no physical presence or charisma is just bullshit. The man has an incredible presence and has charisma.

 

Instead they keep on talking up the kids..... Linda last week -"Stephanie and Shane bring issues to the table," she said. "They are the bright new, young minds." Whatever. According to some experts, most family businesses fail to survive the ‘second’ generation.

 

Umm, wouldn't Stephanie and Shane be the THIRD generation of Mcmahons to run the family business?

He didn't say "no" but he's certainly inadequate compared to a Rock or Steve Austin.

 

And maybe it's a typo and he meant to say "past." *shrug* When I read that I sort of mentally put that in there. If not, then you can argue he means the WWE is on borrowed time already and it lucky to be doing this well right now with Vince Jr. running it.

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Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins
Instead they keep on talking up the kids..... Linda last week -"Stephanie and Shane bring issues to the table," she said. "They are the bright new, young minds." Whatever. According to some experts, most family businesses fail to survive the ‘second’ generation.

 

Umm, wouldn't Stephanie and Shane be the THIRD generation of Mcmahons to run the family business?

I think that he means that Steph and Shane won't get to run the buisness the way Vince is doing things.

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Guest Vyce

Bitter or not, I do find Zenk amusing, in a very mean-spirited sort of way.

 

BTW, in case anyone is still perplexed about the "guy licking Raven's feet" reference, it was from Heat (which I guess no one watches these days), from a couple weeks ago.

 

The whole "masterpiece" angle. Raven was shown in the back talking to some jobber, and it was the whole "masterpiece" deal....Raven was telling the guy about how he was a sinner and a hypocrite, then to prove the guy's greed, he offered the guy money to eat Raven's hamburger.....after Raven stomped on it on the floor, and ground the burger between his toes. The guy did it, eating the burger from underneath Raven's bare foot. Hence the whole "guy licking Raven's toes / feet" reference.

 

Raven then proceeded to break the guy's fingers. Strange promo, but there you go.

 

I watch too much fucking TV, I'll tell you that.

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Guest RickyChosyu
As for him being a bitter guy, I like to read Zenk's columns, but it is blatantly obvious that the man is bitter.  If you want proof look at all the shit he says about Vince McMahon, Steph and HHH.  None of that can be considered FACT, so he is essentially slandering people in the WWE because the company screwed him 10 years ago.

Again, if you find something particularly slanderous, point it out. Blanket statements like "that Zenk guy is just a bitter jerk" don't help anyone.

Did you read the damn column? If so than you should know what I'm eluding to when I said, "If you want proof look at all the shit he says about Vince McMahon, Steph and HHH." Remembering what you read is called "reading comprehension", considering you forgot what Zenk said about those three people you probably need to brush up on that skill. Or maybe you are just looking to be a pain in the ass who needs me to fucking quote exact lines from a column that is already posted at the top of this thread. Seriously, if after reading my reply you were so compelled as to find out what it was that Zenk said about HHH, Vince and Steph and scroll back up the page and find it yourself. To help you along use keyword search by pressing CTRL and F at the same time. Also, I don't think that anyone needs to quote exact parts of his column that prove that Zenk is a bitter man. I would hope that after reading the column, that point would be made quite obvious to you and all the other posters.

Are people *always* this defensive around here? Maybe if you weren't so concerned with being repugnant and trying to portray me as an agitator, you would understand that I was asking a serious question:

 

What is so biased about Zenk's column? What about his comments about the MchMahons and Triple H did you find slanderous? What about his "bitter behavior" discredits the rest of what he has to say? Everyone around here seems to have an attitude towards Zenk that he says everything he says he because a) everyone on the internet loves him for it and b) because he's a bitter asshole. I've never understood this, because while I see a clear motivation for Zenk to be bitter, I see no reason for that to discredit what he has to say. I feel that he makes some valid points, for all his biterness, and I think we do an injustice by writing it all off as "just another Zenk rant" when it may actually hold some value.

 

I was generally interested in hearing what you had to say when I asked the question before, and I'm still curious, despite your beligerent and dismisive behavior. Do you view everyone who questions your opinions to be purposefully trying to annoy you? As shocking as this may sound, my request that you point out specific parts of the text and respond to them was not an attempt to annoy you, to attack your character, or to "be a pain in the ass" as you put it.

 

It really says something about this board and the people on it when the general attitude (even of the moderators) towards conversing with others is to bellitle them until they stop asking questions. I don't appreciate it, and if you want to try and talk down to someone, try it elsewhere, because I'm not one to put up with it.

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Guest bps "The Truth" 21

I think Zenk is great.

 

Why should we penalize him for having an opinion that is anti-shitty product.

 

Plus....the running themes in his columns are HHH = BAD, RVD = Misused...

 

And I can get on board with that.

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Guest Lemon Drop Kid

Why does pointing out that Zenk is bitter have to be an attempt to discredit what he says? Even if everything he says is true, he's no less of a bitter whiner for it, a la Bret Hart.

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