Do you like John Cenas rhymes ?

[Guest The Superstar]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

You can't do that without drug and/or alcohol references.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

Since when do you have to like rap to appreciate a character like Cena's? It's camp, cheese, ham; it's not *supposed* to be good, for fuck's sake!

 

About Cena's comentary:

 

*I have to assume someone was feeding him those lines. Unless he made them all up before hand. I have trouble believing that was improv.

 

*What the HELL is with Cena and Tazz being all "Tight" and what-not? Didn't Tazz choke him out a few weeks ago after he awarded the hip-hop challenge to Kish? Did I miss the segment where Tazz admited that Rikishi is even worse at rhyming than Cena and reversed the decision?

 

I mean, by golly, I know that the "hip hop challenge" wasn't the most memorable segment ever, but when ther writers are too ass-backwards to acknowledge their booking from THREE WEEKS AGO, why the hell should they even both with feuds and storylines?

 

Why not just have "The Smackdown Twilight Zone" where each wrestler takes part in a new and bizarre self-contained plot every week? At least then The Super Genius and His Fall-Guys wouldn't have to bother with all the post-it notes.

[Guest Mole]

Cena has defienlty won me over. I mean, his rapping is terrible, but he is trying his hardest to do the best with his gimmick. As someone said before, saying "I listen to Biggie, Biggie taught me what beef is" was the best line of the night.

 

And to Anglesault, saying you can just go out there and swear a bunch of times and kill your girlfriend and become a rapper, no you can't.

 

Rap is a form of music. Rap stands for Rythm and Poetry. If you actually listened to what Eminem writes about, you would be very impressed. The songs he releases on the radio are some of his worse songs. Witout Me is probably the worst song on the Eminem Show. However, ask any rap fan out there, he is one of the best lyrists ever.

 

When someone is rapping, what they are doing bascially is writing a poem, and putting it to a beat. That isn't something that is easily done. Not only does he write his own lyrics, but he creates his own music too.

 

Honeslty Anglesault, if you think you can become a rapper, I'd like to see you do it. Go out there right now, write some songs, and try to get a record deal. Hey, you might be good, but I highly doubt that.

 

This is coming from someone who thinks the rap business has declined a lot the past few years. The only rapper I listen to is Eminem, because he is the best out there.

 

Just think about it, if he won a Grammy for best Rap Album, and was very close to winning Album of the year in 2000, he must suck then, right?

 

My point is that Cena is a terrible rapper. But to say that he is no better than Eminem is just plain ol ignorance. Do you think a business that is basically ALL black, that a guy who is white as can be, and just break into it because he is bad? Nope.

 

I am sure this belongs in the music thread, but I went on a rant. If you want to continue this discussion about Eminem, I'll post the same exact thing in the music thread.

 

Thank you, and have a nice day.

[Guest Insane Bump Machine]

I agree with molestomp.

 

 

*puts Marshall Mathers LP in winamp*

[Guest Anglesault]

Rap is a form of music

Supposedly.

 

 

If you actually listened to what Eminem writes about, you would be very impressed.

 

So nice of you to mention that. I had the "honor" of looking up some Eminem lyrics.

 

[Chorus: repeat 2X]

"All I see is murder murder, my mind state" -> 2Pac

"Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate" -> Swift

"All I see is murder murder, my mind state" -> 2Pac

Murder murder murder, and kill kill kill!

 

[Eminem]

Left the keys in the van, with a gat in each hand

Went up in Eastland and shot a policeman

Fuck a peace plan, if a citizen bystands

the shit is in my hands, here's yo' life span

And for what yo' life's worth; this money is twice than

You grab a couple grand and lay up in Iceland

See I'm a nice man but money turned me to Satan

I'm thirsty for this green so bad I'm dehydratin

Hurry up with the cash bitch, I got a ride waitin

Shot a man twice in the back when he tried escapin

I want the whole pie, I won't be denied nathan

Maybe I need my head inside straightened

Brain contemplatin, clean out the register

Dip before somebody catches ya

or gets ya description and sketches ya

Then connects you as the prime suspect

But I ain't set to flee the scene of the crime just yet

Cause I got a daughter to feed

And $200 ain't enough to water the seed, the best thing

would be for me to leave Taco Bell and hit up Chess King

And have the lady at the desk bring

money from the safe in the back, stepped in wavin the Mac

Cooperate and we can operate and save an attack

This bitch tried escapin the jack

Grabbed her by the throat, it's murder she wrote

You barely heard a word as she choked

It wasn't nuttin for her to be smoked

Then I slammed her on her back 'til her vertebrae broke

Just then the pigs bust in yellin "Freeze!"

But I'm already wanted for sellin ki's

And bunch of other felonies from A to Z like spellin bees

So before I dropped to the ground and fell on knees

I bust shots, they bust back

Hit the square in the chest, he wasn't wearin a vest

 

[Chorus]

 

[Eminem]

Left the house, pullin out the drive backin out

We were backin out this lady's Jag started blackin out

Pulled the Mac-10 out, stuck it in her face

Shut ya yakkin mouth, 'fore I blow the brain from out the back ya scalp

Drug her by her hair, smacked her up

Thinkin fuck it, mug her while you're there, jacked her up

Stole her car, made a profit

Grabbed the tape from out the deck and offed it out the window

like the girl on "Set it Off" did

Jetted off kid, stole the whip, now I'm a criminal

Drove it through somebody's yard, dove into they swimmin pool

Climbed out and collapsed on the patio

I made it out alive but I'm injured badly though

Parents screamin: "Son, go in and call the police

Tell 'em there's a crazy man disturbing all of the peace!"

Tried to stall him at least long enough to let me leap up

Run in they crib and at least leave with some little cheap stuff

Actin like they never seen nobody hit a lick before

Smashed the window, grabbed the Nintendo 64

When they sell out in stores the price triples

I ran up the block jumpin kids on tricycles

And collided with an 80-year old lady with groceries

There goes the cheese, eggs, milk and Post Toasties

Stood up and started to see stars

Too many siren sounds, it seemed like a thousand police cars

Barely escaped, musta been some dumb luck

Jumped up and climbed the back of a movin dump truck

But I think somebody seen me maybe

Plus I lost the damn Nintendo and I must-a dropped the Beanie Baby

Fuck it I give up, I'm surrounded in blue suits

Came out with a white flag hollerin "TRUCE TRUCE!"

(Don't shoot!) Surrendered my weapon to cops

Wasn't me!  It was the gangsta rap and the peppermint Schnapps

 

[Chorus]

 

[CHORUS scratches to fade out]

 

No, I'm not impressed.

 

Just think about it, if he won a Grammy for best Rap Album,

 

Well SOMEONE had to win in that category. Winning in a sea of mediocrity isn't exactly an honor.

[Guest papacita]

First off, as far as rhyming skills, Cena's flow is probably the worst I've ever heard (although his freestyle on the Guerreros was kinda hot), but he plays the "wannabe" role so well. That line about Biggie last night had me dying. It's an entertaining gimmick IMO.

[Guest AfricanAmerican]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

yessiree, that there country western song sure is nice huh jimbo..

 

Whooooweee!

 

 

anyways, i like cenas freestyles but they need to get rid of B2 (wannabe nelly wit the bandaid/tape on his cheek), and they need to stop bringing up vanilla ice when he appears... if hes writin his own shit and can work on how he delivers his rhymes, i think he'd make an okay battle rapper...

[Guest Anglesault]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

yessiree, that there country western song sure is nice huh jimbo..

 

Whooooweee!

Yep that went over my head.

[Guest AfricanAmerican]

*What the HELL is with Cena and Tazz being all "Tight" and what-not? Didn't Tazz choke him out a few weeks ago after he awarded the hip-hop challenge to Kish? Did I miss the segment where Tazz admited that Rikishi is even worse at rhyming than Cena and reversed the decision?

ricky u must have missed the past two times where cena came on commentary and he and tazz got rid of the beef they had wit each other

[Guest Mole]

Anglesault, if you wanna discuss this, go to the music thread, for I don't wanna get into an rap discussion in the wrestling thread.

[Guest Rob Edwards]

I don't think Cena's supposed to be any good seeing as it's a wannabe gimmick, but it's fun and it's winning me over even if he does run the risk of ending up in a Shane Helms like rut if he runs with it too long

[Guest MrRant]

I think they should give him a finisher called the "Cracker Jack".

[Guest art_vandelay]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

And with that, Anglesault proves that he's as ignorant about music as he is with wrestling.

 

I still say they should bring back Men on a Mission for a short time to be with Cena and B-2...

Total Hip Hop Clash right there!

 

Then they can bring back "GET ROWDY" Road Dogg and K-Kwik to make it a triple threat. Instead of 3-way Tables match, they can have a 3-way Turn-Tables match.

[Guest DerangedHermit]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

And with that, Anglesault proves that he's as ignorant about music as he is with wrestling.

HAHAHA! You are correct, sir!

[Guest DerangedHermit]

Let's see if Anglesault's theory comes true:

 

F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** F*** Sista's a whore, I'll kill Dustin Diamond!

 

Nope, not a rap superstar

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

You can't do that without drug and/or alcohol references.

Or, you could go out in the ring, say damn 15 times in a promo, call a valet a whore, make the alcohol references mentioned above, and threaten to beat up Mike Tyson and become the biggest draw in WWF history, even if your matches are kick-n-stomp fests.

 

It works any number of ways. The public are sheep.

[Guest kingkamala]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

AngleSault you one mothafuckin' crazy cracka foo'

[Guest BobbyWhioux]

Do I like John Cena's rhymes? Yes. I think even with a gimmick that is designed to keep him in a box and prevent his development, he's shining (much like Shane Helms got over in spite of the Sabotage Gimmick that was The Hurricane; he just played it so well and over the top that it worked. Cena's doing the same thing.)

 

See, the thing is, I think John Cena is the best/most believable portrayer of the white rapper gimmick by far. Keep your sarcastic comments to yourself about how that's beating a one legged man in a footrace and hear me out. See, unlike Too Cool, and Road Dogg, I really get the sense that John Cena in character truly believes he is a rapper and a good one (a sense I did not get from the others).

 

I wish they'd not invoke the name of Vanilla Ice so much when he's on camera, though I understand why they're doing it (to associate Cena with somebody synonymous in pop culture for being a failure and an embarrassment and a farce, which is what the name "Vanilla Ice" has come to mean, thus helping to ensure Cena goes nowhere with this gimmick.)

 

But yeah, Cena entertained the hell out of me, and he made me glad I made the effort to watch some WWE last Thursday.

 

It's just a shame that all WWE's interesting characters (Harvard Chris Nowinski, Mattitude Hardy, and John Cena: MC Caucasian) are Jobbers to the Stars, and all their "big stars" are boring as hell with the exception of Kurt Angle [who, by still keeping his head shaved after that hair match last spring, has demonstrated the only angle/plotline continuity in the WWE that runs longer than a month. Well, except for the Dawn Marie / Al Wilson thing...but I'm trying to pretend that isn't happening, to be honest. I think you understand why.]

 

But basically, the farther down the heirarchy you go, the more interesting people tend to be.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

*What the HELL is with Cena and Tazz being all "Tight" and what-not? Didn't Tazz choke him out a few weeks ago after he awarded the hip-hop challenge to Kish? Did I miss the segment where Tazz admited that Rikishi is even worse at rhyming than Cena and reversed the decision?

ricky u must have missed the past two times where cena came on commentary and he and tazz got rid of the beef they had wit each other

Wait, did this actually happen? How did the discusion go?

 

Me thinks someone needs to go back and re-cap the entire Rikishi/Cena feud just so we can see what might have been the point way back when, before the inevitably forgot what that point was.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

I like Cena's gimmick, and I think he plays a good bump-like-a-freak heel in the ring, but his wrestling is just...arf. I actually can't remember seeing an actual move performed in a Cena match.

 

The gimmick is cute and I'm glad it's getting him over, but he's one of the worst in-ring performers in the fed right now. I know he's only getting 2 or 3 minutes a week at best and he's only really facing Rikishi, but he doesn't do anything even with that.

[Guest RickyChosyu]

Well, watching his Vanilla Babyface run, he's got a pretty limited offense, but he could deffinitely hold his own if needed.

 

Basically, since taking up this gimick, he's done nothing but face Rikishi in Comedy matches, so it's not really fare to judge him on everyone else's standards.

[Guest CheesalaIsGood]

I like this gimmick because Anglesault hates it.

 

 

 

Cheesala

[Guest Anglesault]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

And with that, Anglesault proves that he's as ignorant about music as he is with wrestling..

No, that I don't respect rap.

[Guest Anglesault]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

And with that, Anglesault proves that he's as ignorant about music as he is with wrestling..

No, that I don't respect rap.

[Guest Anglesault]

Oh, please. I could run out there, say fuck 18 times, call my sister a whore, and threaten to kill a c list celebrity and be named Rap superstar of the year.

 

And with that, Anglesault proves that he's as ignorant about music as he is with wrestling.

.

I ask you, what is so different about what i said and THIS masterpiece?

 

Chorus: repeat 2X]

"All I see is murder murder, my mind state" -> 2Pac

"Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate" -> Swift

"All I see is murder murder, my mind state" -> 2Pac

Murder murder murder, and kill kill kill!

 

[Eminem]

Left the keys in the van, with a gat in each hand

Went up in Eastland and shot a policeman

Fuck a peace plan, if a citizen bystands

the shit is in my hands, here's yo' life span

And for what yo' life's worth; this money is twice than

You grab a couple grand and lay up in Iceland

See I'm a nice man but money turned me to Satan

I'm thirsty for this green so bad I'm dehydratin

Hurry up with the cash bitch, I got a ride waitin

Shot a man twice in the back when he tried escapin

I want the whole pie, I won't be denied nathan

Maybe I need my head inside straightened

Brain contemplatin, clean out the register

Dip before somebody catches ya

or gets ya description and sketches ya

Then connects you as the prime suspect

But I ain't set to flee the scene of the crime just yet

Cause I got a daughter to feed

And $200 ain't enough to water the seed, the best thing

would be for me to leave Taco Bell and hit up Chess King

And have the lady at the desk bring

money from the safe in the back, stepped in wavin the Mac

Cooperate and we can operate and save an attack

This bitch tried escapin the jack

Grabbed her by the throat, it's murder she wrote

You barely heard a word as she choked

It wasn't nuttin for her to be smoked

Then I slammed her on her back 'til her vertebrae broke

Just then the pigs bust in yellin "Freeze!"

But I'm already wanted for sellin ki's

And bunch of other felonies from A to Z like spellin bees

So before I dropped to the ground and fell on knees

I bust shots, they bust back

Hit the square in the chest, he wasn't wearin a vest

 

[Chorus]

 

[Eminem]

Left the house, pullin out the drive backin out

We were backin out this lady's Jag started blackin out

Pulled the Mac-10 out, stuck it in her face

Shut ya yakkin mouth, 'fore I blow the brain from out the back ya scalp

Drug her by her hair, smacked her up

Thinkin fuck it, mug her while you're there, jacked her up

Stole her car, made a profit

Grabbed the tape from out the deck and offed it out the window

like the girl on "Set it Off" did

Jetted off kid, stole the whip, now I'm a criminal

Drove it through somebody's yard, dove into they swimmin pool

Climbed out and collapsed on the patio

I made it out alive but I'm injured badly though

Parents screamin: "Son, go in and call the police

Tell 'em there's a crazy man disturbing all of the peace!"

Tried to stall him at least long enough to let me leap up

Run in they crib and at least leave with some little cheap stuff

Actin like they never seen nobody hit a lick before

Smashed the window, grabbed the Nintendo 64

When they sell out in stores the price triples

I ran up the block jumpin kids on tricycles

And collided with an 80-year old lady with groceries

There goes the cheese, eggs, milk and Post Toasties

Stood up and started to see stars

Too many siren sounds, it seemed like a thousand police cars

Barely escaped, musta been some dumb luck

Jumped up and climbed the back of a movin dump truck

But I think somebody seen me maybe

Plus I lost the damn Nintendo and I must-a dropped the Beanie Baby

Fuck it I give up, I'm surrounded in blue suits

Came out with a white flag hollerin "TRUCE TRUCE!"

(Don't shoot!) Surrendered my weapon to cops

Wasn't me!  It was the gangsta rap and the peppermint Schnapps

 

[Chorus]

 

[CHORUS scratches to fade out]

 

Oh, yeah, I forgot the cop killing part. Because Cops are EVIL~! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

[Guest EternallyLazy]

I like rap... I hate the cop killing shit because my brother's a cop... but not every rapper raps about that shit

 

However, I noticed that Anglesault is an Aerosmith fan... so let's look at the brilliant lyricism here in the song "young lust"

 

 

Young Lust, happy just to be in lust

Never have to eat no dust

Everybody's talkin' 'bout

Young Lust, you're dying and you're screamin' inside

Oh, you're guilty way before you've been tried

And it's crazy but you're diggin' it

Ooohh

Young Lust, you feel it in the summertime blues

Oh, it's easy when there's nothing to lose

An' baby, you be missin' out

Young Lust, sometimes you need it so bad

It's enough to drive a young girl mad

And so what you gonna do about it

Yeah, yeah, a little bit of nasty

Ya look a little sleazy

But don't get any on you

Young Lust, better keep your daughter inside

Or she's gonna get a dose of my pride

Ya, everybody's talks about it

[Guest EternallyLazy]

ah yes, and who could forget such brilliant Aerosmith songs like "Love me like a Bird-dog" and "lord of the thighs"

[Guest Anglesault]

And I'm not claiming that there is some deep message or that the lyrics are works of beautiful art.

 

When did they do Young Lust?

[Guest EternallyLazy]

1989 with the album PUMP I believe

[Guest EternallyLazy]

Sault, I just remember you bashing some rap songs like Rey Mysterio's theme for being "grammatically incorrect" when if you listen to some of Aerosmith's songs, they don't seem to know proper grammar either...