OAOAST IntenseZone - 1/6/03

[Guest Zack Malibu]

DISCLAIMER

 

The program you're about to watch contains content that might not be suitable for all ages. Viewer discretion is advised. In other words...we're saying this to cover our ass.

 

Enjoy the show! And remember... The OaOast kills to entertain.

 

 

Verdi’s Requiem starts and is soon overpowered by Ice, Ice, Baby as the Mystery Weirdness Connection comes out to face their newest set of challengers. Once again, they are met with a decidedly negative reaction.

 

aWo Porno blares as CWM comes out alone to another chorus of boos. His smug smile acts as a disturbing metaphor that the aWo is willing to do anything to control the OaOasT.

 

The AngleTron starts flashing random words in white font. A Young Girl's voice is heard saying:

 

'They took all away by means of treachery, Now I return to teach them No Mercy, I am Vengeful, They Are Unforgiven'.

 

The Entrance Stage explodes in Pyro as 'Bullets' by Creed blasts over the sound system.

(The Crowd roars again)

 

A sole Spotlight shines up the rafters and picks out a shadowy figure.

 

The Shadow starts descending from the rafter's, slowly coming down through the darkness and landing in center ring. As the lights go up, we see the cloaked individual, who reveals himself to be Caboose. As he unfastens his harness, he doesn't notice another cloaked figure standing behind him.

 

JR:"What in the hell?"

 

The other figure smashes something across the back of Caboose's head...little shrapnel shoots everywhere...it was a lightbulb!? It's SANDMAN! Sandman takes the dazed Caboose and grabs the very wire that brought Caboose down from the rafters, and ties it around his neck!

 

JR:"GOOD GOD, STOP THIS!"

 

Sandman appears to be squeezing the rope with every ounce of strength he has. A disgusting visual of foam and saliva runs out of Caboose's mouth as he attempts to fight off this attack. Ultimately, he succumbs, and falls limp onto the mat. Sandman stands above him, and call for the mic.

 

SM:"You know people, Caboose couldn't wait to take part in the tag title match tonight. As you can see, he was all choked up over it!"

 

Sandman walks off, as EMT's and security rush past him to tend to the fallen Caboose, who lay motionless in the ring.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

JR:"I...I can't even begin to fathom..."

 

Jesse:"Ross, I'm not saying anything, lest the lawyers get involved in this one. Folks, we'll figure out the tag title situation later in the show, but for now...well let's get on with it."

 

JR:"Folks, we've been doing our best to keep the crowd entertained during this, rather trying time tonight. Reject is in the ring, and the crowd hasn't exactly taken to him kindly."

 

(Cut to the ring, where Reject is cussing out various fans)

 

Reject: I know all you people are here tonight to see me kick the shit out of the so-called Number One contender, The Superstar!

 

(crowd boos)

 

Reject: Luckily, that’s exactly what you’re going to get. Because he is NOTHING. Hell, he couldn’t even beat Jingus last week! And I HAVE! So therefore…

 

“DOWNFALL” hits.

 

Reject is standing in the ring in a fight position, but Superstar comes from the crowd with a dropkick to Reject, and this match is on! A Superstar whip is reversed, and Reject hits Superstar with a back elbow. He attempts an elbow drop, but Superstar moves, gets up, and SNAP suplexes Reject down. Superstar cross-corner whips Reject into the corner, who climbs up the turnbuckle and comes off with a moonsault, but Superstar catches him…TOMBSTONE~! Superstar heads up top…SUPERSPLASH~!

 

But wait…Anglesault runs down…and into the ring! He lays out the referee with a BELTSHOT behind his back, but Superstar sees this and fires off lefts and rights at the Champion! Anglesault gets a thumb to the eyes, however, and gives Superstar a Sweet Emotion…all the way to the outside!! He whips Superstar into the ring steps, and then drops him sternum-first onto the guardrail. As Superstar gets up, Sault gives him the Last Child on the concrete! Superstar is being destroyed!

 

BUT WAIT! Now Alfdogg sprints to the outside, to fight his opponent for later tonight! After punches are exchanged, Alfdogg gives the Champion an AA STYLE SPINEBUSTER! Superstar recovers, and, noticing Reject in lying motionless in the center of the ring, jumps on the apron, and signals for the INFINITY STAR PRESS~! He hits the slingshot senton, but as he jumps to the opposite ropes for the Lionsault, CWM appears out of NOWHERE and BLASTS Superstar with the aWo SLEDGE! As Superstar stumbles backwards, it turns out Reject was playing possum, and rolls Superstar up, with a handful of tights! The referee is up…1…2……..3!!!!!!!!!!!! What an upset!!

 

Winner: Reject in 3:56 via a CWM Sledgehammer shot

[Guest Zack Malibu]

When we come back, we’re backstage, as Anglesault is hurrying his way to the aWo locker room. However, Michael Cole catches him.

 

MC: Anglesault! Sir! What’s up with the aWo costing Superstar his match against Reject?

 

AS: Where is he? Is he still in the ring? I can’t let him find me.

 

MC: Who? Superstar?

 

AS: Um…what the hell are you doing here? Get the hell away from me?

Why would I be afraid of Superstar? Because he almost took away my title? Because he has the Deadly Alliance backing him up? Because…because…

 

*Superstar walks up behind Anglesault, with a small gash on his forehead*

 

SS: Because I’m *BETTER* than you?

 

AS: *Jumps* WHAT THE HELL?! Listen, Superstar, um…

 

SS: No, YOU listen, Champ. That little ambush you did with CWM, that cost me my match against Reject? It got me thinking. I know you’re scared of me, Anglesault. I know that YOU know I can beat you anytime, anywhere. As a matter of fact…I’m free for AnglePalooza…and it looks like you are too. I want a RETURN match. Because you know if the match had restarted at B3…I would become Champion.

 

AS: That’s a bunch of Bullshit! But you know what? I accept your challenge. Because not only am I the OAOAST Champion, I’m the leader of the aWo and the freakin’ leader of the whole OAOAST! I own this shit!

 

SS: But you’re forgetting one thing. *I* own *YOU*.

 

*Superstar walks away, leaving the Champion with a bewildered look on his face*

 

::The view is a cooridoor backstage. Two familiar young men are making their way down it, looking somewhat distant. SpiderPoet and El Dandy have arrived, bags slung over their shoulders, and are making their way to the locker room. They stop short, seeing the slate with the match lineup for tonight.::

 

::Poet looks it over before looking to Dandy::

 

SP: Well. How about that.

 

::SP suddenly picks the chalkboard up off it's easel and throwing it across the room before kicking the easel over. Some roadies in the area scramble out of the way in surprise::

 

SP: Dandy, what's black and blue and all across my back?

 

Dandy: An incredibly large bruise?

 

SP: A bruise. A bruise that came from a few nasty trips through a few nasty tables at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten. A bruise that won't go away, won't diminish, that cramps the way I walk and puts a quiver in my voice when I talk. It wraps around my ribs and threatens to take my belly with it's foul growth. A bruise that speaks of a battle that demands to be fought again.

 

::Dandy nods, knowingly::

 

SP: And you've got one too, don't you Dandy? We cripple and crumble, whither or WALK as a team, my friend. Nothing more, and nothing less. But what is this we see? Two men that deserve nothing, have not survived the battle we have, have not earned the right to chase gold once more! Thrown together from a battle with so many others not concerned with TEAMWORK at any other time! They smell gold, but the lust for battle does not fill their nostrils! ::Excitedly:: NOT AS IT DOES OURS! ::slaps Dandy's chest:: Tonight, my friend . . . we will not be crippled, we shall not crumble. We. Will. Walk.

 

::Dandy nods and they walk out of frame as the camera fades::

 

Cut to the ring, where the sounds of "Simply Ravishing" are fading out, as Tony "The Body" has just entered the ring for this tag team contest. El Dandy and Spider Poet now make their way out, having just delivered a rather determined promo. Dandy agrees to start for his team, and BPP opts to start for his, and we are underway.

 

Dandy and Popick move in on each other with a quick tie up that Popick muscles into a side headlock. Dandy pushes him away into the ropes andcatches him with an OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY! What a way to start this match off, and Popick must be thinking that too as he quickly gets to his feet to face off with Dandy. He wastes no time, however, in booting Dandy in the stomach and snatching him up into a Snap Suplex. Popick is on hsi feet and over by the downed Dandy a moment later, pulling him up and hooking him for a second Snap. Dandy attacks Popick's ribs and fight his way out, however, and as soon as he's free hits a DDT! Dandy rolls over and starts delivering punches to Popick's head. He stands and looks over to Tony, pointing a finger before stepping backwards towards his corner as Popick pushes himself up to his feet.

 

Dandy doubles over, resting his hands on his knees and eyeing Popick. As soon as Popick is on one knee, Dandy bolts across the ring, looking for a Shining Wizard, but Popick spots it and catches Dandy in a hard SPINEBUSTER! Dandy rolls over to push himself up, but Popick is all over him, locking in a Camel Clutch, rearing back on it hard. Poet is in, blowing past the ref, looking to break the hold on his partner, but Popick bursts up from his squat with a powerhouse of a clothesline. Poet rolls back out of the ring as quickly as he had come in. Popick turns back to Dandy who seems to be nursing his neck. BPP walks over to his corner and casually tags in Tony.

 

The Body hauls El Dandy up and shoots him off into the ropes, but he's close enough to his corner that he throws a hand up and tags in Spider Poet, befoure rolling on over the top of the ropes to the outside. Tony can't quite believe the tag happened that quick, but he doesn't have much time to think as Poet is on the top rope, flying off with a body press.

 

Both men are down, but Tony quickly rolls it over into a pin, which Poet quickly kicks out of. Poet scurries to his feet and backs off for a few seconds before moving in with several quick right hands before whipping Tony off into the ropes. On the return, Poet leaps and catches him in a Hurricanrana. Poet quickly moves around and locks in an armbar before Tony can get up. They're close enough to Popick's corner, however, that Popick reaches over the ropes and catches a handfull of Poet's hair under his mask and start to pull him up to his feet. Poet rises with Popick's suggestion, turning slowly. He quickly fires off a right hand to Popick, sending him back off the apron to the mat outside. Poet whips his head around to Tony, who is getting to his feet. Seeing opportunity, he stomps "The Body" a couple of times before picking him up, signaling Dandy, who is in the ring in a heartbeat. The ref seems about to head Dandy off, but a stiffening glare from Dandy backs him off. Poet pushes Tony over to Dandy and runs for the ropes. In one fluid motion, Dandy gets off a hard right to the incoming Tony's face, spins, him and locks him German suplex style. Poet and Dandy blatantly steal a spot from another promotion and Poet comes in with a vicious SUPERKICK as Dandy brings Tony up and over into a GERMAN SUPLEX. Dandy rolls it over and hits a quick second one, and releases. The ref FINALLY intervenes and orders Dandy out of the ring, who obliges with thrown up hands and a smirk.

 

Poet goes up to to apparently hit a SPIDAHSAULT, but Popick is there and pulls down on the rope, crotching the unsuspecting Poet. Tony lunges for the Quick Tag and rolls out of the ring from the surprising, quick attack of Poet and Dandy, while Popick bounds through the ropes. As Poet nurses his ailing crotch, Popick bolts over and knocks Dandy off the apron with three quick right hands before moving back to Poet. Popick climbs to the second rope. He signals for it, and quickly hooks up a struggling SP. Poet's efforts are for nothing, however, and Popick hits it, SYNCHRONICITY BOMB~! Poet is down, Popick covers and the ref slides in. 1-2-3!

 

Winners: Big Poppa Popick and Tony "The Body" via pinfall.

 

Poet rolls out of the ring, nursing his ribs and back, and neck, the match having taken it's toll on him. He meets up with Dandy and they back up the ramp, nursing their various injuries along the way, staring back at BPP and Tony, who are watching them.

 

On the side of the ramp, a fan leads over the guardrail and shouts, "He didn't even get you with his FINISHER! Biggest couple of losers to ever hit the ring!"

 

Dandy and Poet stop and look at the fan, who smirks back at them. Poet looks at Dandy, who looks at Poet. In a sudden movement, SP does the unthinkable, and fires off a quick shot at the fan, who flails back and stumbles back over his chair. Those around him are in shock at first, but soon start cheering when BPP and Tony come flying out of the ring and up the ramp, apparently to defend the honor of a fan!

 

Dandy and Poet have apparently just snapped however, and they duck their attacker's initial charge. Dandy catches Tony with a boot to the stomach and a pulling DDT onto the ramp, and Poet backs up and nails BPP with a quick superkick just as he turns around. Both of them viciously begin putting the boots to their downed former opponents, Poet especially nailing BPP around the shoulders and neck with his stomps.

 

A few moments later they both stop and look at one another and look around, taking in what just happened. Their faces betraying at least a little shock at what they just did, they both cover it up quickly and back up the ramp together, surveying the damage in stoic fashion as the camera fades to commercial.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Angle-Plex, wearing his ratty jean shorts and small "aWo" shirt jumps through the crowd and into the ring.

 

[Last week on Intense Zone~]Angle-Plex: Thunderkid, now is not the right time nor the right place, and since I know you're such a white collar babyface, I know you won't attack me first. It has been proven time and time again that I, despite being named one of the best technical wrestlers in the world, have been overlooked, so the more charasmatic, and fan-friendly superstars can be at the top. Well, if I can't get to the top with my in-ring abilities, I guess I'll just have to do it out of the ring. Next week, Thunderkid, I'll be waiting for you. With a surprise. Oh yeah, turn around!

 

CWM runs in with a PollyCutter to Thunderkid, and SomeGuy emerges from retirement to follow that up with a SOMEsplash. Sandman limps in from behind the broadcast position, and the aWo take center stage in the ring, relishing in their position, but not for long.

[End Replay]

 

Agnes gets a mic.

 

Plex: Now I know that you're all wondering what my "big surprise" for Thunderkid is. Well, Sandman, show the people!

 

Sandman walks out from the back with a woman and a kid. Sandman is pushing them down the ramp. The woman is crying, and holding her son's hand. She screams "please don't hurt us".

 

Plex: You see, I would like you all to meet Jessica and Peter. I'm sure Thunderkid already knows who they are, because Jessica is his ex-wife, and Peter is his 9 year-old son! I came up.......

 

Thunderkid runs down the ramp and into the ring. Agnes holds Jessica by her neck, while Sandman starts choking Peter. TK stops in his tracks.

 

Plex: Hold it right there! You see, you and I have a match later tonight. A ladder match. For MY North American Title. I'll make you a deal. If you want your ex-wife and kid to be safe, you hand that title over to me! Seeing that our match is in, say, 20 minutes, you have that long to decide!

 

Thunderkid walks backstage. Agnes is a monster! What a sick, evil person! What will Thunderkid's decision be?!

[Guest Zack Malibu]

JR:"All right folks, this next match is going to be..."

 

Jesse:"Ross, who is this guy in the ring?"

 

JR:"That's the referee, Jess."

 

Jesse:"Well thank you, Captain Obvious, but I meant who is he as in I've never seen him before."

 

JR:"Oh, well from what I understand, he's our exchange official, from Japan."

 

Jesse:"EXCHANGE official? They have an exchange program for referees now?"

 

JR:"Apparently so. I'm not sure which member of this fine company is headed for Japan though."

 

Jesse:"Maybe it's you."

 

JR:"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

 

Jesse:"What does the smile on my face tell you?"

 

JR:"Sorry to say, but I'm staying put."

 

Jesse:"Well, then let's hope it was that Mario guy. He gives me the heebie jeebies. Let him go over there and play with Godzilla or something."

 

"The Wall" interrupts the bickering, and a loud reception welcomes Alfdogg as he strolls out from the locker room. His partner, Superstar, has been having his own issues with the aWo, and Anglesault specifically, as of late. Tonight, Alfdogg steps up to do battle with the leader of that faction.

 

"a...W...o", then the sounds of "Dream On" fill the arena, turning the postive response for Alfdogg into boos and sounds of genuine dislike. The OAOAST World Champion, Anglesault, makes his way to the ring, the belt firmly strapped around his waist. AS enters the ring, smirking at Alf as if to laugh at him. AS unstraps the belt and hands it to the timekeeper, then tugs a bit on the top rope to warm up. The bell rings, and this one is underway.

 

Lockup, and Anglesault grabs a headlock. Alfdogg shoves him off, into the ropes, and AS bounces off, colliding with Alfdogg as both try for a shoulderblock. AS looks at Alf, who simply SHOVES him on his ass! Angered, AS gets up, and throws a swing, blocked by Alfdogg,and now Alf is stunning him with punches. Irish whip to the ropes, and AS ducks a clothesline. Alfdogg turns, but gets kicked in the stomach, then AS hooks him for a suplex...Alf shifts his weight so that AS can't lift him up. Alf sends AS to the ropes again, but this time AS hangs onto the top rope and falls to the mat, rolling out of the ring.

 

The referee begins his count, going slowly from number to number. Alfdogg waits on AS to return, but Anglesault paces ringside, not wanting to re-enter. What seems like an eternity has passed, and yet we're only at the count of 5. Suddenly, the referee starts counting HIS FINGERS, as if to figure out what number comes next! Flustered, Alfdogg heads out of the ring, and goes after AS, only to have the aWo leader lead him on a chase. AS rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope, and when Alfdogg does the same, he catches an elbowdrop to the back of the neck.

 

AS picks Alf up in a front facelock, and uses his free arm to slam several forearm shots across Alf's shoulder blades. AS segues that into a fireman's carry, then applies a chinlock. Alf fights up to his feet, and slips out of the chinlock, reversing into a hammerlock, then quickly seguing into a schoolboy rollup...1 count! AS kicked out too quickly for that one! Punches by Alf daze AS, but as Alf tries an Irish Whip, AS counters, kneeing Alfdogg in the gut, then rushing him and kicking him in the side of the head as he's hunched over. AS picks Alf up, and rams his head into the top turnbuckle. AS sets Alf up in the corner and chops him across the chest, drawing the traditonal "Whoooo" response from the crowd. Alfdogg replies with a chop of his own, but the comeback is cut short, as AS kicks him in the stomach, and then proceeds to stomp a mudhole in him, slumping Alf down in the corner. AS backs up, and charges the corner attempting a running knee across Alf's face, but Alf rolls under the bottom rope at the last second, and AS crashes his knee into the middle turnbuckle! Alf stands up on the apron and reaches for the stunned Anglesault, and drops him throat-first across the top rope! Anglesault falls backwards, overselling the move by flipping over so that he's on the mat facedown, and Alfdogg works the crowd a bit.

 

Alf comes back in and pulls AS up, then puts him on his back with a snap suplex. Alf goes for a cover, and the referee slowly gets into position, as if he was in a daze! AS easily kicks out before a 2 count, nevermind a 3 count, as Alf stares in disbelief at the new foreign exchange referee.

 

Alfdogg picks AS back up, then grabs him by the same leg he crashed into the corner...dragon screw takedown, but Alf holds on and pulls AS up on his one leg. While holding the leg, Alf starts kicking at the back of the knee, as AS hops up and down, trying to keep balance...ENZUGIRI ON ALFDOGG! Alf falls to the mat, and AS limps over to where the ropes are, leaning on them for support, as his knee is obviously bothering him now.

 

Alfdogg starts pushing himself up off the mat, but as he does AS heads over to him...DDT ON ALF! AS covers, and the referee is actually in position that time...2 count only!

 

AS stands up, standing over Alfdogg and slapping him on the back of the head, toying with him. As Anglesault gloats, Alf reaches up, and takes him down by hooking the bad leg, seguing into a single leg lock! AS squirms backwards before Alf can get a good grip, and reaches the bottom rope. The referee makes a "breaking" gesture to Alf, and he does, but he then grabs AS and pulls on his leg HARD, so that he loses his grip on the ropes and is right back in the middle of the ring. Alf tries for a figure four leglock, but AS counters with a small package. The referee DIVES for the count...2 COUNT AGAIN!

 

Jesse:"Well, I take it back. After a little bit of uncertainty earlier, this referee is doing a fine job."

 

JR:"Too good of a job if you ask me."

 

Jesse:"And how is that a bad thing, Ross?"

 

Both men are back up, and AS uses an eye rake to keep his advantage. He hooks his arms around Alfdogg for a belly to belly suplex, but Alfdogg uses the old "box the ears" trick to break that up, then grabs AS and drops him with a back suplex! Alfdogg sets him up near the corner, and signals for the Five Star Alf Splash!

 

JR:"If this hits, then the writing is on the wall for Anglesault!"

 

Alf goes up top, as the referee checks on AS. Alf is prepared to leap off, but the referee is STILL checking on AS. Alf yells at him to move, but the referee pays no attention. Finally, Alf has no choice but to hop off the top rope. He heads over to the referee and they begin bickering. The referee starts pointing at where AS lay, and starts talking in Japanese jibber-jabber, something Alfdogg cannot understand. Alf asks "What the hell are you talking about?", and just as he does, he gets carried over and ROCKED by an Anglesault release German Suplex. AS now heads up top, and shockingly enough, the referee is nowhere's near Alfdogg!

 

Jesse:"Look at that JR, he learned from his previous mistake!"

 

AS sets up for the SaltSault, but Alfdogg recovers and gets up, pulling AS down and crotching him on the top rope, then flipping him over and pulling him off the turnbuckles all together. Again, Alf signals for a familiar manuever, this time the BURNING HAMMER~! He picks AS up, and holds him across his shoulders, but AS is trying to squirm...the referee catches a boot in the eye!

 

JR:"He basically WALKED into that shot!"

 

Jesse:"Oh I'm sure JR, he took a boot to the eye on purpose!"

 

Alf tries to see what happened while still holding onto AS, but the squirming is too much, and AS slips out, landing on both feet and quickly taking Alf over with an OLYMPIC SLAM! AS covers and hooks the tights, and as soon as he does the referee stops checking his eyes and makes the fastest damn count in the history of the OAOAST! Anglesault wins!

 

Winner:Anglesault via pinfall

 

AS rolls under the bottom ropes, swiping the belt from the timekeeper and hobbling up the aisle. The referee sees Alf is starting to recover, and he decides to head out as well, but he is met in the aisle by roving reporter Michael Cole.

 

MC:"Sir, excuse me, sir, but you seemed a little biased in that match. We know you're an exchange official from Japan, but we don't even know your name!"

 

Official (in broken English):"Angle Won."

 

MC:"We know Anglesault won sir, we don't need to know that. We want to know YOUR name."

 

Official:"My name Angle-Won. Angle-Won Olympics. I going to be BEST official here in company!"

 

The official, whom we now know his name, walks off, leaving Cole and the audience both in the arena and at home bewildered.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

JR and Jesse are in the commentators booth. Ventura is laughing.

 

JR:"What is so funny?"

 

Jesse:"Ross, that was priceless. Here we thought that we got shafted in that exchange deal, that we got some inept referee. Turns out we got a perfect referee!"

 

JR:"Yeah, perfectly biased. Angle-Won Olympics. It was all just a ploy by the aWo is all."

 

Jesse:"And what a message that sends to Superstar. Anglesault just showed him he's capable of screwing over anybody. If I were that young man, I'd think twice about carrying this feud on!"

 

::Sandman is backstage, sitting with a camera and a microphone. Parents, lock up your kids::

 

“So, let’s talk about what everyone in this fed is all abuzz about. Caboose leaving. Again. Big whoop, he’s left before, who’s surprised? But you want to know the real reason Caboose left? Me. Caboose never faced me. You know why? ‘Cause he was scared of me. He saw what I was like when we were both in the DA, and he wants none of this. Caboose will say something else to put himself over, but it means nothing. He’s scared of me, and that’s why he left. He knows that one day, he and I would have to face off. He knows what I do. I hurt people. I end careers. I ended BowserLogan’s career. You seen him ‘round here since I destroyed his ass? No you haven’t. It’s cause I ended his career. You saw how bad I beat Evenflow. I beat his ass so bad that he hides behind a mask now and made up some stupid ass name. So what if he’s got a belt? I got his career. I own Evenflow. I made him say “I Quit.” I own his ass. Caboose knows this, and he got the fuck out.

 

"You want to know who else knows this? Alfdogg knows this. Alfdogg knows that I end careers. Alf got a little lucky at Bloody, Battered, and Beaten, when I went head-first through a pane of glass and split my fuckin head open. You see this? ::Sandman leans over, showing a massive scar with stitches still in it:: Four inches. Four motherfucking inches. You pussies have never felt an injury like this before. You don’t know what it is like to go into shock. To have salt dumped into your wounds. You want to know what salt in a wound is like? It’s a billion fucking bee stings, and constant agony and pain. And I had a bucket of salt dumped into this motherfucker. If I had emotions, I would have cried. But I don’t.

 

"Not only this, I won the fucking match. I damn near kill myself, and Alf still fucking can’t get the job done. What’s wrong Alfy? Too fucking scared to wrestle me at my own game? You don’t like what I do? You don’t like it that I end careers? You don’t like it that I use shit that people and pussies like you are too scared to end dream of using? You don’t like the fact that I kicked your fucking face in? Too bad. You know that I end careers. You know that I hurt people. You know that it’s BAM~! Lightbulb to the fucking head! BAM~! Yakuza Kick! BAM~! Motherfucking bootscrapes! I kick people’s fucking faces in! BAM~! BAM~! BAM~! Your fucking dead! BAM~! PSYCHO DRIVAH~! BAM! H8 LOCK~! BAM~! I’VE FUCKING ENDED YOUR CAREER! BAM~! YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, AND I FUCKING OWN YOU!

 

::Sandman takes a second to regain his breath, staring at the camera the whole time::

 

You’re still standing and breathing, Alf, and I don’t like that fact. Royal Rumble, I challenge you to another match. Fuck, this time, I’ll let you pick the fucking rules. And I’ll fucking end your career then. And I’ll still win that Rumble. I’ll enter that motherfucker, and win that motherfucker. Alf, Rumble, I’ll end your fucking career.”

 

::Sandman throws down the mic and storms off::

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Road agents put the ladder in place, and send the belt high up above the ring. It's ladder match time~!

 

Angle-Plex and Sandman walk down the ramp. Sandman has Jessica, Thunderkid's ex-wife, chained to him with handcuffs. Peter, TK's son, is nowhere to be found.

 

Thunderkid's music hits. The crowd goes wild as he walks out. He enters the ring and gets a mic. What will his decision be?!

 

Thunderkid: I've thought long and hard about the choice you gave me, and I've come to a decision. I've decided, that well, I'm going to KICK YOUR ASS!

 

Thunderkid throws the mic down and starts brawling with Agnes. TK hits a flurry of right and left hands, then tackles Plex. This isn't a wrestling match, this is a street fight! Plex rolls out of the ring. Thunderkid follows him. TK kicks AP in the stomach, then throws him right into a ring post! Agnes falls down. Sandman moves himself and Jessica over to the opposite side of the ring. TK looks at them, and Agnes hits a low-blow. AP pushes Thunderkid right into a ring post. Thunderkid no-sells, and starts "hulking up". Kid clotheslines Angle-Plex to the mat. He throws Plex onto the announcers table. TK hits a piledriver~! AP's head bounces off the table, although it doesn't break.

 

Thunderkid isn't even concerned about winning the match, he just wants to destroy Agnes! Thunderkid looks under the ring, and pulls out a steeeeeeeeeeel chair! He smashes it over Agnes's head! Plex is busted open! AP starts trying to crawl away, but Thunderkid picks him up. He clotheslines Plex into the crowd. Instead of following Agnes through the crowd,

 

Thunderkid runs after Sandman. Sandman starts choking Jessica, and he tells TK to leave them alone or he'll choke her out. Thunderkid decides to go after the ladder instead! He picks up the ladder and brings in back into the ring. He sets it up in the middle of the ring and starts going for the belt! Plex runs back into the ring and pushes the ladder over! Thunderkid falls bounces off the top rope, and fall to the outside! Plex tries to set up the ladder, but he falls over due to losing to his extreme blood loss. Thunderkid gets up and tries to climb back in the ring, but Sandman hits him in the ribs. A snapping noise is heard, and Thunderkid falls back to the outside.

 

[OAOAST Replay shows that Sandman hit TK with Brass Knuckles]

 

Agnes wakes up and sets up the ladder. He starts climbing very slowing. Thunderkid forces himself to get up, and he slides in the ring. He puts his head in between Plex's legs (gross OMG~!) and powerbombs him to the mat. Thunderkid holds his ribs and tries to climb.Sandman jumps into the ring and starts to pull TK off the ladder. TK hits a THUNDERBOLD DDT~ on Sandman. TK starts to take the handcuffs off of his ex-wife Jessica. She reaches in her pocket book and......She just sprayed Thunderkid with mace! OMG~! TK goes down, screaming with his hands over his eyes. Agnes gets up and hits the Agnes DDT! Sandman starts stomping on TK as Plex climbs up the ladder and gets the gold!

 

Winner: Angle-Plex

 

After the match, AP, Sandman, and Jessica get into the ring. Agnes holds TK up while Sandman hits him with the brass knuckles again! They leave TK in a bloddy mess as IZ goes to commercial.

[Guest Zack Malibu]

JR:"Right now ladies and gentlemen, we're going to here from a young man who has been rather quiet as of late...

 

(The camera pans to the Angletron, where AS is standing in what appears to be some kind of cage. We can't see to much of it, but from what we can see, it's obviously not rectangular. he has his OAOAST world title around his waist)

 

Jesse:"Ross, where do you get your facts? We've seen Anglesault already tonight!"

 

JR:"I have The Golem on MY format here..."

 

Anglesault: Superstar, over the course of the last month and a half, you have made one thing ABUNDANTLY clear. No, it's not your grand quest for the belt or your loyalty to the OAOAST or some other idealistic bullshit. It's your want, nay, your NEED to have your career killed, by me. You, my friend, have gone out of your way to piss me off. You have annoyed me to no end. You have outright pissed me off. But more importantly, through your actions, you have given me permission to put you out of your misery. face it. Your career has slowly, but surely been dying ever since you crossed my path. It's just hanging on by a thread. So that's while I'll do the only fair thing, and Euthanize it.

 

(AS lifts his hands a little, and the part of the cage we can see ignites. He is littlerally surrounded by four walls of fire.)

 

Anglesault: And make no mistake, I will take you to hell. Unfortunately, you won't make the return trip.

 

(The Angletron flickers off)

[Guest Zack Malibu]

"If I Was Santa Claus" plays as The Golem makes his way to the ring, with a mic in hand.

 

THE GOLEM

"What is it about certain men that compels them to try and climb heights they know they could never reach? The key word here is try, because they always fail. It's not a lack of desire, rather a lack of perfection. Reject, you tried to climb the mountain, and you failed. I commend you for trying, but the fact of the matter is, I went easy on you and once again, you failed, proving my perfection over..."

 

The Golem is knocked out from behind with a vicious chairshot from Reject.

 

REJECT

"I'm really sick of this, really I was. I gave it my all, was slightly off my game, but who do you think you are? Oh, that's right, the only true failure around here. You can't even wear a fucking mask properly, anyone with half a brain... although maybe that is too much to ask from this crowd... has long figured out you're..."

 

A FAMILIAR VOICE

"...evenflowDDT?"

 

"Money is my Bitch" plays as the crowd and Reject are stunned to see evenflow walk out onto the ramp.

 

EVENFLOWDDT

"Oh, am I interrupting something? Hey Scooby Dumb, let's unmask the mystery of your oh-so-vicious victor. I must keep my good name ::smirks:: after all."

 

The crowd's initial pop stops in strange silence at this changed manner. evenflowDDT rushes into the ring, stomps away at The Golem, whips out a switch-blade, tears the "Emet" off his leg and cuts away the mask, it's... a jobber?

 

EVENFLOWDDT

"Friend of mine. I was bored, he needed the work. I fooled him, I fooled you, I fooled the boys in the back, I fooled ALL OF YOU!! Oh yeah! Now onto more serious matters, you still interested in the X-Title?"

 

REJECT

"Wait a seco..."

 

evenflowDDT grabs the title from his fallen comrade and offers it to Reject.

 

EVENFLOWDDT

"You want it? Take it. Seeing as how you lost to a nobody I shouldn't have any problem winning it back if for some strange reason I ever wanted it. Here, I'll even offer you a phat stack of cash to go with it, yo. Won't it feel good to eat for a month, instead of trading your food stamps for cheap sex and STD treatments?"

 

Reject slaps evenflowDDT

 

REJECT

"I don't want your offering. I want you in the ring, you snide little prick, at Anglepalooza. X-Title on the line... no masks, none of that shit, just you losing the title to me and getting beaten like the bitch you are, which should've happened in the first place!"

 

evenflowDDT recomposes himself

 

EVENFLOWDDT

"Whoa there, tiger. It's a date. Just remember..."

 

evenflowDDT snaps his fingers and two paid goons come in through the crowd to attack Reject.

 

"Money, it's a trip! Don't give me that go go go bullshit! See you in a couple weeks. ::to the crowd:: Blow your kisses, chant my name, baby... I'm back!"

[Guest Zack Malibu]

Backstage, Zack Malibu and Alison watch with dropped jaws.

 

ZM:"Did he tell YOU?"

 

Alison:"Zack, he hasn't told me ANYTHING. Getting a word out of him these past few weeks was like getting my brother to watch puro...it just wasn't happening."

 

ZM:"Well, at least he seems to be back in good spirits. Now we can ride high, and it's one more thing the aWo has to worry about."

 

Alison:"Yeah..."

 

ZM:"Hey, now I've NEVER had a girl get so miserable in my presence. Turn that frown upside down for me, chica."

 

Alison gives Zack a slight smirk.

 

ZM:"Thatta girl."

 

Alison:"It's not you Zack, honestly it's not. And I'm glad that 'Flow is bouncing around like a Tigger on speed...but...I don't know, it's nothing."

 

ZM:"You sure?"

 

Alison:"Yeah. Thanks, preppy."

 

Alison pats Zack on the shoulder, and exits the dressing room. Zack looks on, and thinks to himself, then pulls out his cell phone.

 

ZM:"Hello, Liquor Surplus? This is Zack Malibu...yeah, yeah we're having another party...my best friend is back, baby!"

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Y2jailbait is walking through the corridors of The OaOast Arena and is mumbling something to himself::

 

"I don't know what to do, the money is here. I need to take it, i must have to survive. Mi necesidad de la Familia para comer, necesito comer........"

 

::He then bumps into Brock Austin, who is eating cookies in the corner::

 

JB: "Hey chico, what are doing eating all those fatty foods? that can't be good for you mang"

 

BA: "Man, or should i say BOY! You need to mind your own business and leave me the hell alone"

 

JB: "Damn, bastardo gordo estúpido......."

 

BA: "Hey! You mind saying that in english buddy?"

 

::Jailbait looks in the eyes in Brock, and backs down from him::

 

BA: "Like I thought little man, now go sell some organges or something BOY!"

 

::Jailbait then takes Brocks cookies and throws them on the ground, mostly out of anger, but then realizes what he has just done::

 

JB: "Oh Shit"

 

::Brock then begins to just annihalite Jailbait by throwing him through the wall and beating him bloody, the OaOast camera crew runs away to tell some to get help for quote on quote "A Little Kid Getting Beat Up By A 700 Pound Monster"::

 

OaOast Camera Crew(In Unison): "Help, oh my god, Help!"

 

::The secuirty and medics come in and Brock walks away::

 

BA: "This isn't over boy, remember that."

 

::Jailbait gets to his feet and walks off on his own::

[Guest Zack Malibu]

JR:"Folks, it has been a rather chaotic, eventful night here on IntenseZone. I don't even know why we bother with formats, because we sure as hell aren't following them. But now, it's time for our main event. We saw what happened earlier in the show when we ORIGINALLY planned on a tag title match, and...it was disturbing to say the least. So now, we bring to you, by order of the Board of Directors, a HANDICAP main event. CWM is partnerless, but the Tag Titles are still on the line, and...what? Folks, they're brawling in the ring already, let's get to it!"

 

Tag Team Championship Match

Special Handicap Rules

Jingus/MME vs. CWM

 

Jingus begins the match by manhandling CWM with stiff clotheslines and hard punches. With an irish whip to the ropes, CWM is military pressed by Jingus, until Jingus reaches a count of 10, dropping CWM behind him. Jingus tags in Eskimo

 

Eskimo takes the advantage of the tag from Jingus. CWM is hit with rolling killerwhale plexes from the frosty one, until Eskimo turns the last one into a stalling high angle backdrop, rolling through and locking in the Frostbite Facelock! CWM swiggles to the ropes, but Eskimo pulls him off and throws the aWo member into the turnbuckle. Several stiff chops later, CWM is placed on the top turnbuckle. Eskimo climbs up, and signals at the announcer’s table. He then position CWM for a Blizzard Bomb, but CWM nails a low blow!

 

CWM takes advantage of Eskimo’s botched Blizzard Bomb from the top rope, turning it into a PollyCutter across the top rope. Eskimo falls to the mat, gasping for breath with his face wrapped in pain. CWM pulls him outside and thrown right into the ringside stairs. Back in the ring, CWM runs at the legal man Jingus, but Jingus no-sells a clothesline and spinebusters CWM down. The crowd goes lukewarm

 

Even as AngleSault comes ringside, the crowd barely utters a boo, still stunned by earlier events. Jingus has CWM up for a Devilbomb and AngleSault attempts a sledge hit running off the top rope. Jingus shifts and catches the aWo leader with his right hand, shifting CWM to his left. Could it be DOUBLE CLAWSLAMS?

 

No! Double low-blow to Jingus. CWM rolls away, still selling internal injuries. AS grabs the sledge…Sledge Shot to Jingus’ knee. The big man screams, but doesn’t go down, instead he claws at AngleSault’s jersey. AS with another shot to Jingus’ knee, and finally the big man goes down on that knee, still swiping at AS. AS swings again, this time for Jingus’ head, but Jingus ducks out of the way!

 

Jingus spears AS and the World Champion rolls out of the ring. Jingus looks over to check on Eskimo, but the icy fellow is not stirring. Jingus turns around and is handed a beltshot to the face by CWM! AngleSault rushes back in with the aWo sledge… Van Saultinator wakes up the crowd!

 

Jingus is down as AngleSault goes over to the limp referee. AS with the hand, and he helps the referee count…1…2…3!

 

WINNER, and New Tag Team Champions, CWM and ??? in 13:45

 

The aWo celebration doesn’t last long. Jingus kips up and grabs both. DOUBLE CLAWSLAM with AUTHORITY. He then picks an unconscious AngleSault up….DEVILBOMB!

 

The big man finally subdues his anger, and drapes his tag team partner across his back, leaving the ring as Angle-Plex and Sandman come running down.

 

CWM is one half of the tag team champions, but who will be his partner? And finally, just what happened with Caboose. Stay tuned in next week for another smashmouth episode of IntenseZone!

 

And remember kids, don’t try this at home!