Dames' Diatribe on NWA:TNA Week 26

[Guest TSMAdmin]

NWA:TNA Week 26

 

So....you guys miss me? I know I missed doing these for the past two weeks. I hope that you all had a great Christmas and New Years. For those of you who had some funny or strange stories of this past holiday season, send it to me at [email protected]. I always enjoy reading things like that. Oh, I’d also like to know about the most thoughtful things you received this past Xmas as well as the weirdest...

 

Before we get right back into the thick of things, I’d like to apologize for those of you who were awaiting reviews on the 2nd and 3rd Ring of Honor shows as I said I would do. Before I make billions of excuses (all valid!), lets just skip the whole thing and say that I’m a lazy bum and when it’s up, I’ll let all of you guys know.

 

That reminds me. TheSmartMarks.com is looking for new writers. We're specifically looking for someone to do Velocity, Puro and Lucha reviews, although we're open to almost anything. If you're interested, please shoot over at email to myself and Dr. Tom. Experience is nice to have...but not necessary.

 

Well, lets go right to it....from the TNA Asylum in Nashville, TN....

 

The PPV starts off with a black and white video package on events dating back to Week 21 when Jeff Jarrett won the NWA Title from The Truth and Mr. Wrestling III revealed himself as Vince Russo. It highlights all of the points of the SEX vs. NWA storyline, including the creation of SEX, all of the defections and new arrivals, Piper’s “shoot”, AJ Styles attacking Jeff Jarrett at every opportunity , the arrival of the Road Warriors and culminating in the destruction of the TNA banners and set by Russo’s faction.

 

We go to the intro, where the new logo is now in place and its a very nice, sleek, futuristic logo....much better than their old one.

 

Don West IMMEDIATELY has Heart Attack #1 for the evening as he quickly welcomes everyone to TNA and shoots it over to Mike Tenay, who’s standing in the ring with Jerry Lynn, The Truth and Americas Most Wanted. First thing I notice in the wide shot is that there is a pole attached to one of the turnbuckles so we most likely will have a “Blank on a Pole” match tonight....and that’s never good.

 

Tenay begins speaking on Russo and the SEX faction and introduces members of NWA’s past standing at ringside, Sara Lee, Corsica Joe and Eddie Marlin, who Tenay tells us is the grandfather of Jeff Jarrett. He then introduces us to two men standing at the end of the rampway at ringside wearing NWA:TNA Staff shirts, Rick Santel and Chris Vaughn (who was squashed in a match against Sonny Siaki in Week 20) and calls them the future of NWA:TNA. He then elaborates on how they’ll have to work their way up from security to ring crew to dark matches to earn a spot on PPV. He then introduces the wrestlers in the ring.

 

Tenay then says he’s going to get personal and talks about how Russo disrespected Bobby Heenan in production meetings back in WCW by telling him and everyone else how anyone can be a wrestler....David Arquette and Judy Bagwell for example. He then stresses how Russo ruined WCW and became unemployed because of him. He then makes a plea to the fans to contact TNA at their website, and also pleads to the wrestlers associated currently or in the past to support them in order to win the war against Russo.

 

All of a sudden, an alarm clock starts ringing as part of a new theme song thats starts playing of the PA system. It belongs to Russo’s group as he comes down to the ringside area accompanied by members of his faction: Sonny Siaki, his new unnamed Valet, BG James, Don Harris. Only Russo enters the ring as he approaches Tenay to grab the mic, but Tenay REFUSES to give him the mic. “Russo Sucks” chant by the crowd as he gets a STICK~! from someone at ringside. Before he makes his counterpoints to Tenay, Russo tells him that he’s got friends in management, allowing him to come in and out whenever he pleases and that’s why he’s got theme music. Tenay gets confrontational at this point, but backs down as Russo gets in his face and threatens him in a low-key manner. Russo claims that all he’s trying to do is “save the business” because it’s currently at an all time low point. He begins boasting on how ratings were at an all time high when he was in charge (WWF). He then says “Evolution is the Solution”....which is on the back of the new TNA T-shirts. He then asks the men in the ring what they’ll do if the business goes under, insulting all of them. Vince to The Truth: “Don’t you look at me bro, because you know where I’m comin’ from. You’re gonna rap your way to the top? African American rappers come a dime a dozen pal and half of them suck anyway!” Truth looks like he wants to KILL Vince Russo! Russo then starts to speak to the “future” of TNA at ringside before Tenay interrupts with some harsh words. Russo then insults them anyway...and turns his attention to the old timers at ringside. Tenay gets IRATE at this and is as INTENSE~! as EVER. Russo then insults the old timers and after some unkind words, Sara Lee makes her way into the ring to whip some Russo ass! She pushes him and flips him the bird! Russo gets in her face and grabs her by the shirt and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! Everyone starts brawling as Tenay gets out of the ring! SEX has the advantage before Jeff Jarrett and the Road Warriors come to the ring and clear it! Tenay is back at the announce table, singing the praises of the NWA as Russo and his faction leave the area....

 

We go to the backstage area as the valet of Sonny Siaki (former WWE Developmental Diva, Kim Nielsen) throws Miss Molly and Miss Lollipop, the TNA girls, out of the locker room as the SEX faction walk in and take over. Don West called her Desire in this segment...

 

Tenay was brilliant in this segment, displaying a fire and passion in his mic work that really puts over the NWA faction. Russo did a pretty good job of getting heel heat as well. I’m pretty unfamiliar with Eddie Marlin, Corsica Joe and Sara Lee and if any of you guys would be kind enough to send some info my way, I’d appreciate it.

 

We go right back to the ring for TNA’s first match of 2003...

 

Kid Kash/EZ Money vs. Mamaluke/David Young

 

Match Background: Kid Kash and EZ Money were rivals in ECW before the promotion folded. David Young REALLY stepped it up in the 10 man X-Division Gauntlet match in Week 25. These men don’t really have issues with each other and this match seemed to just be put together for no real reason but to get them on the show.

 

The Match: First thing you notice as the men come down to ringside is that TNA is sporting new intro graphics with the new logo. Tenay tells us that Kid Kash and EZ Money have never teamed before despite their history in ECW as Mamaluke and Young attack them from behind. In a few seconds, the match is under control as Kash and Mamaluke are in the ring against each other. Kash is wearing some ugly ass leopard skin pants tonight, by the way. Kash slides to the outside and pulls Young off the apron and distracts Mamaluke on the apron enough to allow EZ to hit the Money Clip on Tony. Kash then gets back in the ring and jumps over the top to rana David Young on the floor! As Young flipped over, his foot hit the apron and he took a bad bump as a result of it. Kash comes back in and tags in Money and they double back body drop Mamaluke as he takes the bump on his hip. Ouch. EZ and Kash then try a double team maneuver where they hook onto Mamaluke’s legs and flip him...but they COMPLETELY blow that spot. They then hit double gut busters on him as well as stereo dropkicks to the head, but both came out sloppy. West makes a great point to put Mamaluke over as he reminds everyone that Mamaluke is the only person to pin the #1 contender for the X title, Jason Cross. EZ goes for RVD’s “catch your leg and then spin wheel kick you”, but that comes across as pretty sloppy as well. What is going on with EZ tonight? EZ then hits a running Buff Blockbuster, but that comes across sloppy too because Mamaluke was bent over at the time. Kash comes in and EZ helps him execute a DDT for two. David Young blind tags Mamaluke in the middle of irish whip and gets a swinging faceplant on Kash and he is PUMPED UP! Don West brings up the whole Bobcat situation again as David Young spears the HELL out of Kash, literally flipping him over! Young then drop toe holds Kash as Mamaluke gets a rolling neck snap on him, but that didn’t come out fluid either. Mamaluke gets several two counts on Kash, but Kash eventually comes back with a top rope somersault for two. Kash takes over in the corner, but Mamaluke clotheslines him and covers for two. DY comes back in and hits Kash with a VICIOUS backbreaker with GUSTO! He then goes for a bearhug, but Kash is able to make the tag to EZ Money. Ref Scott Armstrong was distracted by Mamaluke though and sends Money back to the corner as they work over Kash (without tagging) and establish themselves as the heels in this match for those not paying attention. Kash then makes a tag to Money who body slams both men next to each other and performs a standing moonsault, landing on both men for a two count. All four men get into the ring and brawl for a second, but it breaks down to Money vs. Young in the middle of the ring as Kash and Mamaluke head to the top. They both come off the top...and almost hit each other as both DY & EZ get out of the way. EZ then superkicks DY and comes off the top with a frogsplash for a broken up two. EZ and Mamaluke leave the ring as Kash comes off the top with a rana to Young which he follows up with a swinging DDT for a broken up two count! David Young then nails a sit out powerbomb for a broken up two. Mamaluke then back suplexes Kash onto his shoulder. Money flips into the ring for the Money Clip, but David Young catches him....goes for the Spinebuster but they collapse to the ground. Young then gets the Spinebuster for the three count and the win.

 

My Opinion: I’m happy that David Young seems to be getting a slight push with this win, but this match definitely didn’t do much to get him over with the crowd. It was quite sloppy with almost everyone botching at least something in the match and the crowd simply didn’t get into it at all. Also, West and Tenay really need to stop mentioning the whole David Young/Bobcat angle as that whole storyline ended in Week 3 and it seems like every time Young comes back, they stress how he’s better now that she’s gone. She’s been gone for a while now guys...it has nothing to do with it. 1/2*

 

Immediately after the match ends, Low-Ki, Christopher Daniels and Elix Skipper enter the ring and attack everyone both teams! They hit a nice triple team move on Kid Kash and EZ Money gets a Last Rites and a Dragon Clutch. Elix grabs THE STICK~! and cuts a nice promo about the three of them, naming themselves Triple X. Oh, and he makes sure to let us know that it is STILL his house! Jeff Jarrett runs to the ring and the three of them scurry out. Jarrett claims that it’s HIS house, along with the NWA’s and challenges them to 3 separate matches for tonight!

 

We go to the back as Goldylocks sees Bob Armstrong with Lynn, Truth and AMW. As Goldylocks tries to get a few words with Bob, he dismisses AMW to get someone on the phone immediately. Lynn and Truth then tell Bob how they’re with TNA before Bob gets a phone call from the mystery man and he asks him to come down to the Asylum and how Russo started where he left off last year....

 

I’m going to guess that the man on the phone is Piper as rumors have been rumbling that he’s going to make a return to TNA tonight. For the love of God, please don’t give him a live mic.

 

Jason Cross vs. Sonny Siaki (w/Desire) for the NWA:TNA X Division Title

 

Match Background: Jason Cross won a shot at the X Title in Week 25’s 10-Man X Division Gauntlet match. He has never faced Sonny Siaki in NWA:TNA.

 

The Match: That’s funny, the graphic says that Desire is named Miss SEX as West and Tenay dispute what her real name is. Boxing style intros by Borash because it’s a title match. I love that...

 

Tenay and West bring up how Desire is the reason why he won and kept the title for the past two shows. Cross and Siaki start out with dueling headlocks, headscissors and hammerlocks before Cross school boys him for a two count. Cross gets another set of two counts as Siaki backs up and some fans applause. Cross asks for a handshake but gets an uppercut from Siaki instead. Come on Jason, haven’t you watched any of Siaki’s work? He’s a HEEL! Heels don’t shake hands in the ring! He gets another and Cross and whips him into the corner, but he floats over him and nice a NICE rana to take over. Siaki goes to the apron to get some separation, but Cross dropkicks him down to the floor. Cross then comes off the top with a BEAUTIFUL twisting somersault plancha onto Siaki! “TNA” chant as that gets a replay, full with NEW GRAPHICS~! Cross sends Siaki back in and looks to springboard back in, but Desire holds onto his leg and gets kicked off. Cross comes in and according to Tenay, Siaki low blowed him, but I can’t tell you exactly how because the camera wasn’t on them! Stun gun by Siaki for a two count. They begin chopping each other before Siaki eats a Cross boot. Cross charges, but gets an overhead belly to belly into the turnbuckle for two! Siaki irish whips him and ducks his head, allowing Cross to jump over him, spin ala the InfraRed and roll him up for two! That’s something I’ve never seen before! Siaki catches a Cross kick and ducks the obvious enziguiri attempt, but falls victim to it as Cross spins the other way around, sending the champ to the outside! He then slingshots himself into a flip to the outside! Desire then clotheslines Cross down.....and it was a REALLY GOOD clothesline! Siaki then double legs Cross and swings him into the steel steps, which is the second time he’s done that move and could be something he’ll be using more often in his arsenal. Back in the ring, Cross gets a DDT and both men are down! Cross gets a bulldog for two, but Siaki comes back with a pumphandle into a Fire Thunder Driver (Rikishi Driver)!! Siaki with the cover, but Cross gets his foot on the rope for two. The camera cuts over to Desire as she applauds and a fan mouths “that only got a two!?” Hey man, it’s not like Cross kicked out now. Siaki goes for the Siakalypse, but Cross swings through and shoves Siaki off, into the ref! Cross with a brainbuster in the corner, which is his usual set up for the CrossFire! He hits it and the crowd pops! The ref is still down as Desire pulls Cross into the ringpost, crotching him. Siaki takes the opportunity to get a small package on Cross as the ref is revived and gets the three count for the win!

 

My Opinion: The match was decent, although they didn’t seem to have much chemistry with each other. With Cross only in his third show on PPV, I had a feeling that he wouldn’t win the title, but wouldn’t completely job him out either. *1/2.

 

Before anything else happens, Bob Armstrong runs down to the ring and tells them that the match will be restarted due to Desire’s interference. Russo, along with the members of SEX (minus XXX) then comes into the ring and tells Armstrong that the match will NOT be restarted. He then says that Cross is in “no condition to restart the match” as Don Harris starts beating the hell out of him and throws him over the top rope! Cross takes the bump like a MAN too! He then threatens Bob Armstrong....but then says that he won’t hurt him....his SON, BG will! He gives BG a pep talk about how there’s NO compassion in SEX and how if he doesn’t take out his old man, he will....but before BG makes a move, Jerry Lynn and The Truth run into the ring to take care of SEX! Bob Armstrong announces this impromptu match!

 

Jerry Lynn & The Truth vs. BG James & Don Harris

 

Match Background: This is an impromptu match based on what happened just now. The Truth and BG James had faced each other in singles matches in Week 24 & Week 23 after trying to help NWA rep Bill Behrens. This is the first time that Lynn and Truth have been in the same ring since they faced off against each other in Weeks 12 & 13...

 

The Match: As the bell is rung, Truth does some of his usual splits and acrobats before hitting a GORGEOUS Tope Con Hilo onto Don Harris on the outside! BG, on the apron, goes for a shoulder tackle to the midsection but gets a Jerry Lynn legdrop and falls to the outside. Lynn comes off with a pescado as Truth jumps off of the ring steps onto Heavy D, but gets caught and thrown into the guardrail. BG James gets a chair, but misses Lynn and gets it dropkicked back into him! The Truth and Heavy D brawl in the crowd, hitting each other with chairs. Juke and Jive punches by BG, but the third is blocked and Lynn comes off the ropes with a crossbody for two. BG, with a bloody mouth and a spot of blood on his forehead, nails him and comes off the ropes with the Crazy Legs Knee Drop but misses. Lynn comes back with the Stratusfaction bulldog and comes off the ropes with a Crazy Legs Legdrop, mocking BG with it for two. Heavy D pulls Lynn’s hair off an irish whip, allowing BG to take over. With Truth and Heavy D in their respective corners finally, Harris starts choking Lynn in the corner as BG taunts his former “Rowdy” tag partner in WWE. Harris comes in and hits a big boot on Lynn. He’s whipped into the corner and tries to float over, but lands on Harris accidentally...and covers for it by rolling him up for a two count. Very well done, Mr. Lynn. Harris comes back with another big boot by Harris as BG tags back in. Both men go for a double suplex, but Lynn gets a double DDT! He crawls over and makes the hot tag (called a hot tag by Tenay) to the Truth who is a HOUSE...EN...FUEGO~! NAILING both men with punches, spin kicks and axe kicks and the crowd is ALIVE! Truth hits the True Conviction (sit out front suplex) and signals for the 450 splash! He comes off the top with it....overshooting BG and just nailing him with his legs before someone comes into the ring and attacks him for the DQ.

 

OH MY GOD! IT’S MIKE SANDERS!!!!!!!!!1

 

THANK YOU LORD! IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME!

 

Sorry, I MUST contain myself! Lynn tries to help The Truth but Sanders and Heavy D let him know that he’s MIKE SANDERS~! DAMMIT! Security comes into the ring as Russo and the rest of the faction, including XXX hop over the guardrail and Sanders gives him a big hug! He’s a part of SEX! Sanders and XXX in the same faction....go Russo!

 

My Opinion: If I based my opinion of this match on the sole fact that Mike Sanders debuted finally, I’d give it *****, because I’m that happy right now. However, I’m judging this on work and I’ll TRY to contain myself whenever Sanders is on my TV screen. Had Lynn and The Truth been against other members of the SEX faction, the match definitely would have been better. Hell, BG James is an improvement if you think that it probably would have been the Harris Brothers they would have faced tonight. The match wasn’t nearly as bad as you’d think with the only real mistake being made was on Truth’s 450 splash. Hey, I’m happy about the DQ.....can you blame me? *1/4.

 

We go to a sitdown interview between Tenay and Percy Pringle (Paul Bearer) which should have aired in Week 25. He looks absolutely MONSTROUS as it looks like he’s gained a hell of a lot of weight. Tenay asks him about how he got into the wrestling business and Percy talks about how he started in the southern territories with Michael Hayes and Robert Gibson. He talks about managing Rick Rude and being in World Class Championship Wrestling (Fritz Von Erich’s old promotion) before they talk about his time in the WWF as Paul Bearer. It was his first real exposure to “sports entertainment”. This leads to Tenay asking him about where he stands....is he NWA or S.E.X. He TOTALLY dodges the question....just saying that he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. Tenay asks him if he’s going to manage someone here. He dodges THAT question as well! End of the interview.

 

Wow....that...was almost pointless. It seemed as if the only purpose of that interview was to remind the world that he wasn’t just Paul Bearer, but has been in the wrestling business for a long time.

 

Americas Most Wanted vs. The Disciples of the New Church (w/ Father James Mitchell & Belladonna) for the NWA World Tag Team Titles

 

Match Background: Back in Week 18, the Disciples of the New Church attacked AMW after a successful title defense. The following week, they faced each other in a tag match for the titles, but the Church got themselves DQ’ed. In Week 20, they took the titles from AMW in controversial fashion with the debut of Belladonna to the Church stable. In week 21, in a rematch for the titles, AMW were DQ’ed after getting caught using a weapon that The Church brought into the ring. They have been feuding ever since, with AMW trying to get to Father James Mitchell and Belladonna, but never being able to recapture the tag titles. Looks like tonight...is the blowoff match.

 

The Match: TNA made a production error as the graphic spelled Belladonna with just one N, unless I’m spelling it wrong....West and Tenay calls this match the “final showdown” as NWA Officials state that there will be no automatic rematch clauses in this match...so the fued (for the titles anyway) ends tonight. As the match begins, Storm and Harris unload on the Church as Storm clotheslines Lee in the corner SO HARD, he falls to the outside! Both teams head to the outside as Storm/Lee brawl by the ramp and Harris/Slash by the announce table. Slash low blows Harris and throws a chair at him and then the HEELS give a double noggin knocker to the FACES. How about that! Slash suplexes Storm onto the guard rail as The Church is just having their WAY with AWM at ringside. Slash suplexes Storm on the exposed concrete on the floor as Lee just tosses Harris like a rag doll! Slash with a Michinoku Driver ON THE RAMP!! Back in the ring, Slash hits Storm with his spinning airplane spin drop. West makes another good point as he talks about the evolution of AMW, becoming more aggressive as a result of this feud. They work over Storm for a while before he makes a quick comeback, cut off by a Slash DDT. The match is dragging as they work over Storm for a few minutes. Storm tries to make a tag to Harris, but Slash cuts him off. Storm gets an enziguiri on Slash to get the tag, but Slash ran into the ref who didn’t see the tag and won’t allow Harris in! As the ref and Harris argue in the ring, Lee nails Storm with a title belt on the floor! Storm is STILL in the ring with the Church, just taking a beating! Lee and Slash go for a double back body drop, but Storm gets a double DDT out of it! It would have meant a lot more had we not seen that spot done in the last match. Storm gets the HOT tag to Harris who is a HOUSE....EN....FUEGO~! as he goes to WORK on the Church! Left armed clotheslines for everyone! He clotheslines Lee out of the ring, allowing Slash to hit his Slash and Burn neckbreaker on Harris, but before he can make a cover, Storm arises with a SUPERKICK! Harris with the cover and the two count! Lee takes over on Harris as Belladonna distracts the ref. Slash gets the powder ready to throw into Harris’ face, but the irish whip is reversed and Lee gets the powder instead! The reversal happened so early into the irish whip that it almost looked like Slash did it on purpose though. Harris with a spear! ONE...TWO...NO! Storm is in with Slash now and puts on the SHARPSHOOTER~! as the ref is distracted by Belladonna. Truth be told, she missed her cue and the ref had to look at her first before she got onto the apron. Slash taps out as the ref is busy, but Mitchell comes into the ring and nails Storm with a spike! ONE....TWO....NO! Slash takes his belt off and whips Storm with it as Belladonna distracts the ref again. Harris takes control of Slash’s belt and starts using it against him! The ref takes the belt away from Harris, allowing Lee to come into the ring and nailing him with something wrapped around his fist! ONE...TWO..NO! Storm gets a rana on Slash but gets TOMBSTONED by Lee as he tried to give him a rana as well. Looks like those Fake Undertaker days paid off. That cover is broken up by Harris....who then gets set up by Lee for a tombstone. Harris reverses (although he has trouble doing so) and TOMBSTONES HIM! ONE..TWO...NO! Slash comes into the ring with a chair and wedges it in the corner. Storm rolls through a powerbomb attempt, but gets catapulted into the chair in the corner! OOhh....Belladonna’s ass is now visible for the first time tonight on the hard cam. Oh, how I’ve missed THAT ASS so. Slash picks up the chair but Storm kicks him down and gives him a jawbreaker. He sets him up for the Death Sentence! Harris takes out Mitchell and heads to the top! DEATH SENTENCE~! on a chair! ONE...TWO...THREE!!! AMW have regained the NWA titles!

 

My Opinion: The match was good, but not the great match that it should have been for the blowoff. With the way the storyline between these two teams were progressing, I figured that the logical blowoff would be in a steel cage where Belladonna and Mitchell couldn’t interfere. Well, besides the Lynn/Styles feud, this was the best feud TNA had going and I’m sad to see it over. With AMW as the tag champs, where do we go from here? **1/2.

 

We go to Goldylocks in the back with Bob Armstrong as she tries to find out who was on the phone with him earlier. He completely no sells her and keeps going.

 

Funny moment as the camera focuses on Miss Lollipop and she’s not dancing...or paying attention. Few seconds later and she starts dancing again.

 

Curt Hennig vs. David Flair in an Axehandle on a Pole Match

 

Match Background: When Curt Hennig went after the SEX faction in the last show, David Flair made his TNA debut and put him in the figure four after hitting him in the face with an axehandle (complete with a REAL AXE). To be absolutely honest, I don’t remember if these two men ever met in WCW, but everyone knows the history that Hennig has with David’s father, Ric Flair.

 

The Match: Hennig isn’t even wearing his wrestling gear tonight. Tenay apologizes for not announcing this match earlier on the show. Hennig grabs THE STICK~! and says that he has a saying in the wrestling business: “Paying your dues in the wrestling business, 141 million. Being the greatest athlete in sports entertainment: 67 million. Taking down Brock Lesnar at 35,000 feet? Priceless”. He REALLY needs to let that go as he’s not making any friends that way and just sounds bitter about being fired. He talks some smack about how he defeated his father in a Loser Leaves the WWF match on Raw many years ago (which BETTER be on the 10th Anniv. Show) before David charges him and misses. Hennig nails him with some chops as the announcers point out that Flair has brought out a burlap sack with him. Every time I think of a burlap sack, I don’t know about you, but I think of Friday the 13th Part II. I doubt Jason would have been nearly the horror icon he is today if he didn’t change that gimmick when he did. Hennig continues chopping Flair at ringside before he tries to get the axehandle. He tries climbing up there and obviously doesn’t look comfortable doing so. Flair lowblows him and takes over with chops in the corner and hitting Hennig with rolling neck snaps, taking a page out of his book. He flapjacks Hennig and screams at the crowd “Who’s Mr. Perfect huh!”. Some fan in the crowd: “You are!” Actually, according to WWE....none of you. Flair tries to climb the pole, but Hennig puts him on his shoulders and falls backwards. Hennig then tells Chris Vaughn to get the axehandle for him and does so. Suddenly I’m flashed back to the HORRENDOUS John Tenta/Big Bubba Sock on a Pole match from Bash at the Beach ’96. Thanks guys, I really needed to remember that. After handing him the axehandle, Hennig piefaces Vaughn and shoves him off the apron to the floor. He uses it on Flair and the ref signals for the end of the match.

 

My Opinion: Wow....that was just...PURE CRAP. Thank goodness they kept it short. David Flair doesn’t look like he’s improved in the ring whatsoever, Hennig has definitely fallen from grace and pole matches are NEVER good. Hennig, the face in this match, shoving down someone that Mike Tenay called the future of TNA in this match really confuses me. If it was scripted that way, it makes no sense. If Hennig legitimately didn’t want to climb the pole or even bother trying and repaid Vaughn’s help that way, he’s just a prick. Either way, this match was painful to watch. For those of you new to my Diatribe’s, think of it this way....the more I DON’T talk about the match, the worse it is. -**

 

After the match, David Flair nails Hennig from behind with the burlap sack and whatever was it in KO’s Hennig. The announcers speculate as to what’s in it as the refs come to separate Flair from laying in more shots to Hennig.

 

As Flair goes to the locker room in the back, he no-sells Goldylocks. Goldylocks tells us that she’s going to try to get some info as we see Desire standing in the front of the locker room, looking on. Desire pulls Goldylocks from behind as the camera changes view! Come on guys! We quickly go back as Desire confronts her. She claims to be the new girl in town....and tells Goldylocks to stay away from the locker room. Goldylocks tells her that she’s just doing her job and lays down her job description...meaning that she has the right to be there. Desire then says “Oh really....is this in your job interview?” and throws her to the ground. I THINK she meant “job DESCRIPTION”. Hell, I need a job interview. She gets on top of Goldy but gets pulled off by Athena! Sonny Siaki tries to separate them but is unsuccessful until TNA security arrives. Athena actually got the biggest pop of the night so far....

 

We go to West and Tenay as we actually haven’t seen them at all during this broadcast. West goes into HEART ATTACK TIME~! as he pimps next week’s matches. Sonny Siaki will face Amazing Red for the X title next week! West is about to tell us who Americas Most Wanted will take on next week but MIKE SANDERS~! comes to the ringside area, gets in Tenay’s FACE and grabs his mic and grabs him by the shirt! “You are a piece of SHIT! Listen to me, you come out here week after week....listen to me, you come out here runnin’ your damn mouth ‘Vince Russo this, Vince Russo that! You don’t know ONE...DAMN...THING about Vince Russo! Let me tell you something about your bullshit interviews that you do week in and week out, they don’t mean ANYTHING! I’m gonna give you a chance of a lifetime! Next week, face to face, one on one, bring your balls, bring your integrity cuz SHIT’S ON BITCH!” He slaps Tenay before the MIC GOD leaves and Tenay gets PUMPED for next week.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Christopher Daniels

 

Match Background: This match is taking place because of the angle that took place earlier in the show. These men to my knowledge have never met before.

 

The Match: This match wasn’t billed as a title match and Borash didn’t do his boxing style intros for it, so I’m guessing that it’s non-title. The graphic says Chris Daniels...but that just doesn’t feel right to me. Daniels goes for a clothesline but Jarrett ducks as Daniels declares his love for me by BUMPING OFF THREE PUNCHES in a ROW! Daniels goes for a dropkick, but Jarrett holds onto the ropes and catapults him over the top to the outside. Daniels comes back in and takes over with some cheap shots, elbows and finishing it off with a leg lariat as Tenay pimps Jarrett’s matches around the world in the past few weeks. Both men kick each other in the corner before Jarrett attempts a vertical suplex, but gets an Eye of the Hurricane by Daniels. Daniels puts the boots to Jarrett but eats a clothesline. JJ catches Daniels leg and puts him in the figure four, but Daniels turns it over VERY quickly. It makes sense, as Daniels leg hasn’t been worked over at all in the match yet. Jarrett gets to the ropes and the hold is broken up. Daniels gets a NICE jawbreaker (!) and an enziguiri for two. Kneedrop and rolling neck snap also gets a two count. Daniels positions Jarrett, jumps onto the apron and slingshot legdrops back in for two. That was just pretty. JJ comes back with a few punches, but Daniels counters a Jarrett clothesline with an STO. He calls for the double jump moonsault....Jarrett moves, but Daniels lands on his feet! I’ll admit, I haven’t seen as much of Daniels as I’d like, but I’ve never seen him do that. I need some Curry Man tapes. He runs into a Jarrett boot in the corner and Jarrett nails the Stroke for the win!

 

My Opinion: I can understand why the match was quick, but it just saddens me to see Daniels get put away in what seemed to be relatively easy for Jarrett. *1/4.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Elix Skipper

 

Match Background: See Jarrett/Daniels.

 

The Match: Elix immediately runs into the ring as Jarrett has no time to recover and attacks him from behind. He puts the boots to him and hits JJ with a back suplex. He follows it up with a twisting legdrop out of the corner as BG James takes Don West’s headset and begins announcing. Elix trips Jarrett, slides to the outside and slingshots himself back in with a twisting splash onto JJ’s back. From James’ commentary, he seems to believe that this is a title match. Jeff is on the outside now, looking to recover as Elix tries to flip over the ropes...OH MAN! Elix LANDED RIGHT ON HIS HEAD IN THE RING! He’s ok as he just runs out of the ring and kicks Jarrett as the crowd LAYS into Elix. West takes another headset to talk as well, but its coming in VERY scratchy and you can barely hear him. Elix and Jarrett brawl in the crowd as Elix has the advantage for most of it before Jarrett hits him with a chair. Jarrett sends Elix back into the ring as BG complains about his brother, Scott, not doing his ref job properly. Elix puts on a sleeper as BG just WONT SHUT UP. Tenay makes sure to make the point that Jarrett/Low-Ki will happen regardless of the outcome of this match. Jarrett fights out of the sleeper and irish whips Elix into the corner....but Elix climbs the turnbuckles and flips over Jarrett and hits a German suplex on him! Daniels gets on the apron as Elix tells him to come off the ropes. Daniels heads to the top...SLIPS, crotching himself, but no sells it as he comes off the top and accidentally nails Elix after Jarrett ducked! Jarrett knocks Daniels down and pins Elix!

 

My Opinion: Well, at least they protected Elix in this match. Would have been better if they spent all the time in the ring instead of brawling in the crowd. The finish came out of nowhere. ¾*

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. Low-Ki

 

Match Background: See Jarrett/Daniels

 

The Match: Low-Ki runs in and just like Skipper, immediately goes after Jarrett, giving him NO time to recover. He chokes Jarrett in the corner with his boot, shoving the ref away as Low-Ki looks PISSED. He starts raking Jarrett’s face with his boot, showing that trademark intensity that he always does. Small “Low-Ki” chant by the crowd. Jarrett comes back with a few right hands as BG starts complaining about all of JJ’s “cheating”. BG: “Closed fist, closed fist, this referee is as stupid as my brother”. JJ goes for the Stroke, but Low-Ki counters by kicking out of it. Actually, Jarrett turned his back too soon and the kick didn’t look good. Snap mare....MUTA ELBOW~! by Low-Ki! ‘Ki with some chops and some trash talkin’ in the corner before putting on a chinlock. I’m sure Jarrett needs the rest. Jarrett elbows out of it, but gets whipped into the corner. Low-Ki jumps onto the apron and goes for the Hanging Dragon, but Jarrett blocks it and punches him down to the floor. He drops ‘Ki throat first onto the guard rail and takes over on the outside. Jarrett rams him into the announce table and hits him over the back with a chair as Don West has Heart Attack number 3 for tonight. ‘Ki kicks Jarrett and hits HIM with a chair shot in full view of the ref. He throws Jarrett into the ring and gets on the apron, looking to sunset flip in....but instead, lands on Jarrett’s back and puts on the Dragon Clutch! Jarrett gets to ropes after almost a minute in the hold but he is obviously weakened. Low-Ki kicks a kneeling Jarrett in the face a few times....but Jarrett catches the last kick and goes for the figure four! Low-Ki kicks Jarrett in the thigh with his free leg before he can put it on though! Low-Ki then goes for a figure four of his own, but Jarrett kicks him in the FACE with HIS free leg! Backbody drop by Jarrett on Low-Ki, followed by JJ knocking both Daniels AND Skipper off of the apron! Low-Ki comes back with a dropkick to the knee! 3-KICK COMBO~! The third kick is ducked though and Jarrett gets a low blow! The Stroke! ONE...TWO... and Daniels and Skipper come in for the DQ.

 

My Opinion: The match was JUST getting started when it ended. Low-Ki and Jarrett work well together and I hope to see Ki get a shot with a lot of match time in the near future. The finish protected both men very well as it shows that Jarrett will STILL do anything to win. Just because he’s NWA, doesn’t mean you have to play by the rules. *3/4.

 

XXX start beating up on Jarrett before the Road Warriors come in and clean house! They take care of ‘Ki and Skipper before giving the Doomsday Device to Daniels. AJ STYLES~! springboard dropkicks Animal down and then enziguiri’s Hawk before turning his attention to Jarrett! This allows XXX to take over on The Road Warriors as the rest of the SEX faction makes its way to ringside. STYLES CLASH~! to Jarrett as the SEX faction works over The Road Warriors. SPIRAL TAP~! to Jarrett as Russo wants to welcome him to SEX...but Styles looks at him and mouths “SCREW YOU” and walks away! AJ Styles is NOT with Vince Russo...he JUST wants the NWA title! MIKE SANDERS~! is beating up on the Road Warriors as well and now I’m happy. A table is brought into the ring and Jarrett is placed on it with XXX waiting to come off the top. All of a sudden, DUSTY RHODES comes to the ring and starts giving Bionic Elbows to everyone!

 

End of PPV.

 

Overall: Well, the first year of 2003 and storyline wise, I’m happy. MIKE SANDERS~! FINALLY debuts, Elix, Daniels and Low-Ki become XXX, Dusty Rhodes comes in to TNA and AJ Styles apparently is NOT with S.E.X. The AMW/Disciples feud is over and Athena is still getting TV time. Wrestling wise, there wasn’t much meat on this show. Just like most fans, I like both the wrestling to be entertaining, as well as the storylines and this show didn’t really do that. With only one match announced next week, it’s hard to judge if next week’s is something to look forward to...but hey, Mike Sanders will be there.

 

And so will I.

 

‘Til next week,

 

The Dames, Damian Gonzalez

 

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