Brock needs a manager, or something.

[Guest Anglesault]

Holy fuck, what the hell was that promo? That was the most boring, semi-coherent, rambling promo in a LONG time (Unless you want to count Rock at Raw X. That was actually kind of sad)

 

I don't even know what was supposed to be going on. Between all the stupid faces and hand wringing, it was just plain annoying. But WHAT THE HELL WAS HE TALKING ABOUT? He just went on, and on, and on, and on he could have got to the point like a minute in.

 

They NEED someone to talk for Brock if they intend to take this Angle Brock feud on the mic at all. That was just an embarassing performance by lesnar tonight.

 

On a side note, the top heel/top face mic alignment is fucked as well. You Have Angle and Heyman on one side, and on the other side, your best bet is frigging Rey of all people. They better have some way to rectify this.

[Guest Anglesault]

Does anyone have an idea who could even serve as a mouthpiece for the faces?

 

If they wanted to make it as the top faces joining up againstt he heels, they could TRY Hogan.

[Guest MillenniumMan831]

Well, if they give Brock a mouthpiece, chances are the WWE would have that person turn on him. This would make Brock look like a dufus again. I'm thinking the WWE will just hack the guy's interview time and just have him do his ass-kicking shtick in the ring.

[Guest myburninghammer]

yeah, never has the "I do my talking in the ring" persona been so necessary.

[Guest Downhome]

I didn't even catch that, I must have turned the channel. Was it REALLY that bad? You make it sound like an Ultimate Warrior rambling or something.

[Guest Anglesault]

Let's put it this way. After the first three or so minutes of it, (or it felt that long) You woulf be lucky if you had any idea what the point he was trying to make was. He kept throwing these awful dramatic pauses in there and rining his ahnds and making faces like some spoof of a mad scientist.

 

It was like this.

 

(Hands, Face) "My...Next... goal was to (Long ass dramatic pause, strange face) beat the Undertaker in hell in a Cell (hands)..."

 

and then he would leave it hanging like he wanted to finish that statement off with something dramatic... like (AND I DID) but just move on to his next "goal" leaving that last thought hanging.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

why can't Brock just be "Silent But Deadly"

[Guest AndrewTS]

why can't Brock just be "Silent But Deadly"

Yeah, Brock matches make me want to fart, too.

[Guest RandomMallChicksRule]

I think Brock just needs a clever catchphrase. Something comes to mind from his suspension angle.

 

Heyman: Brock, you aren't the No. 1 Contender. That will be decided between Kurt Angle VS. Chris Benoit

 

Brock: Sounds like a good match to watch... IN PERSON.

 

 

Think of the possibilities.

 

"I'm gonna F5 you right here, right now, tonight, one on one, IN PERSON"

 

"I'm Brock Lesnar, F5, Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth, IN PERSON."

 

"Hey Brock Lesnar, I'm getting a little hungry"

"Yeah, me too. Let's go get something to eat, IN PERSON.

[Guest Anglesault]

I think we can see a Lesnar/Cole feud, using their catch phrases..

 

Lesnar will be all "Here comes the pain!"

And Cole will be all "Stop the pain!"

And I'll be all like, "Oh, look, CSI!"

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

How about Jesse Ventura? The minnisoda connection, Jesse has a great, commanding voice, infact when Heyman was doing colour I noticed he and Jesse talked alike - at least when commentating.

 

I dunno, it seems a bit late in the game to put anyone with him. Just have him say "SHUDDUP PAWL" a lot and he'll be fine.

 

I thought Booker T's promo on RAW a week or two ago was much worse, though.

[Guest Mole]

No, Downhome it wasn't that bad. AS likes to exaggerate a tad bit.

 

AS, I really hope you being sarcastic when it came to not knowing what he was talking about. It didn't even go on that long.

 

Brock is just fine without a mouthpiece.

[Guest mickberna]

"I'm gonna F5 you right here, right now, tonight, one on one, IN PERSON"

 

"I'm Brock Lesnar, F5, Smackdown: Shut Your Mouth, IN PERSON."

 

"Hey Brock Lesnar, I'm getting a little hungry"

"Yeah, me too. Let's go get something to eat, IN PERSON.

Why not just say, "For me to poop on"?

[Guest Anglesault]

Oh, come on! It was nothing but rambling and stupid facial expressions. he was going over his goals in a slow and tedious manner. And I don't know who the fuck instructed him to put those dramatic pauses in there, but they should be shot.

 

The point could have been made in a productive segment in about 30 seconds. Instead, we got multi-minute waste of time with Brock sounding half drunk.

[Guest Jobber of the Week]

I'm agreeing with Anglesault on more and more! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

 

RRR, your Ventura idea is genius.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

I wanna know how bad his in ring promo was that they had to cut that and tape that interview which was in itself horrid.

[Guest Anglesault]

And I want to know how that was able to satisfy more than one person as well to make the final cut.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

True, AS, because they have been leaving promos on the cutting room floor as of late.

 

Angle said so himself in an interview that a promo of his with Haas and Benjamin from 2 or 3 weeks ago was cut down to less than a minute because "Vince thought it sucked".

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

They just should have had Brock sit infront of the camera - have him deep in thought for about 15 seconds - shift his body - and then kick the shit out of the camera man. Pick up the (fallen) camera, look into it and say "___ days until Wrestlemania Kurt. ___ days until your gold is mine."

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

if they are cutting down promo time for RAW....imagine what that show would be uncut?

 

Welcome Everyone To Raw....No Wrestling Needed~!

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

I DARE the WWF to try to have shows without a ring for a month...

[Guest Anglesault]

Angle said so himself in an interview that a promo of his with Haas and Benjamin from 2 or 3 weeks ago was cut down to less than a minute because "Vince thought it sucked".

For it to be at all worse than what we saw from Brock, all three had to be intoxicated, the had to stammer over every word, and someone had to trip and fall.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

I DARE the WWF to try to have shows without a ring for a month...

WWE presents the following soaps in place of RAW:

 

All My Cruisers

General Medical Facility

As The Big Show Turns (Again)

The Young And The Underpushed

The DAMNEDEST MOMENTS Of Our Lives

Another World Champion

One Job To Give

 

and finally...

 

Guiding LigHHHt

[Guest RavishingRickRudo]

Lets not forget about "Hossions" With JR and that damned little doll Jerry.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Angle said so himself in an interview that a promo of his with Haas and Benjamin from 2 or 3 weeks ago was cut down to less than a minute because "Vince thought it sucked".

For it to be at all worse than what we saw from Brock, all three had to be intoxicated, the had to stammer over every word, and someone had to trip and fall.

Nah, I'm guessing the mentality this week after the in-ring promo and the sit-down interview was something along the lines of "fuck it, we don't have a lot of time, air the one that sucks less". Nothing at all to do with Angle's promo from 2 weeks ago (I now recall which week it was from, it was just before Haas/Edge).

[Guest Downhome]

I think we can see a Lesnar/Cole feud, using their catch phrases..

 

Lesnar will be all "Here comes the pain!"

And Cole will be all "Stop the pain!"

And I'll be all like, "Oh, look, CSI!"

That made me laugh, only because it reminded me of a Chris Farley/David Spade skit on Saturday Night Live, durring the Weekend Update segment, heh.

[Guest notJames]

To paraphrase everyone's favourite intense mean TE bully Bill DeMott, Brock's promo was the drizzling shits. He took about two minutes to say what could have been said in 45 seconds. AS is right. He took too many pauses, didn't know what to do with his hands, and dragged the whole thing out. I don't understand why they couldn't take multiple angles of his interview and then splice it togther into an MTV-esque promo... you know, the kind that all the kids like.

 

I think they were trying to build on Benoit's promo of the week before, which in and of itself wasn't the greatest.

 

RRRudo's idea would've worked the best, I think.

[Guest nikowwf]

Brock's mega over as a face. so i'll chalk it up to a misstep and not worry about this.

 

niko

[Guest Anglesault]

Brock's mega over as a face. so i'll chalk it up to a misstep and not worry about this.

 

niko

No, it was worse then a misstep. It was a fan killer promo. If you tried to get a non fan interested with you, they would see that and either be so bored they would stop watching or just laugh in your face. It wouldn't LOSE fans (Like Al Wilson should have), but it was such an embarassingly bad and boring promo that it could have stopped new ones from coming (Not many, but still, you have to make sure things that you can HELP (Promos, segments, backstage shit) is not embarassing.)

[Guest SupaTaft]

Easy sollution here people. Have Lesnar take over the Ultimate Warrior gimmick. Face paint. Funny clothes. Gold.

 

-Taft