Will Somebody Fund My Movie?

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

So me and Chris were talking online, and we came up with a GREAT movie idea. It's called A Kitty's Dynasty and the story... well, I'll post our AIM conversation, which includes the story. Please read it, it's epic... but it's a quick read and a stroke of genius. But will somebody please appreciate this masterpiece and fund it with a few million dollars? It's sure to be a hit, I promise. Anyhow, here it is... oh, and if you know your stuff, you'll notice that it vaguely resembles something that symbolizes the Korean War.

 

A Kitty's Dynasty

--Intitial Storyboards By Taylor Thompson--

--Inspired By Chris Raynor--

 

 

 

 

HighRes1: Looking for an excuse to stay up lat-

 

Oops. I have a rough draft of a story due tomorrow... forgot about that...

HighRes1: Any suggestions?

Oakly777: For a story?

HighRes1: Yea.

HighRes1: 3-5 pages.

Oakly777: Write a story about three drifting teens trying to prove themselves to the outside World, but have it also directly parallel the Korean War, as two of the teens fail miserably, eventually becoming drug-whores

Oakly777: All three teens are middle class bisexuals living in New Orleans, btw.

HighRes1: ... I was thinking something with cats.

Oakly777: Well, you could have one of them have sex with the cat.

HighRes1: The one who doesn't become a drug whore becomes a cat molester.

HighRes1: I like where this is going.

Oakly777: Nah, just an guy with an animal fetish.

Oakly777: He eventually acquires a burning desire to have sex with a horse, so he attempts to buy one, but has to sell all of his cocaine to raise the money

HighRes1: You should write movies.

Oakly777: True.

Oakly777: No wait, we need to map this entire story out so then we can pitch it on the Community boards and see if anyone will fund it

HighRes1: Whip up a draft and email it to me.

Oakly777: Alright, so, we start in New Orleans... 14 year old girl named Zoey, bisexual, aspiring to be an actress, currently in a single matress infomercial on a local television station, and that's it.

HighRes1: What's the cat's name?

Oakly777: Her older brother, 16, the cat-molester, Nick. He already does pot, but nothing else [yet]... his dream is to start up his own chain of Laundry Mats, as he thinks that the Laundry Mat business is a jackpot waiting to be hit

Oakly777: The cat's name is Santiago.

HighRes1: It's amazing how quick you're coming up with this stuff... almost as if you already had it written down somewhere, and are just relaying it to me...

Oakly777: Then, Zoey's best friend, 15, is named Lanette.

Oakly777: Her father is a drunkard, and her mother is never seen or mentioned, but it's assumed that she was Irish due to Lanette's slight accent.

Oakly777: She wants to be...

Oakly777: Hrm.

HighRes1: The father's drunk, but the mother is Irish?

 

SWERVE~!

Oakly777: A fashion designer.

Oakly777: But she wants to do it without working.

Oakly777: So she's trying to...

Oakly777: Bah, scratch that.

Oakly777: She wants to get into photography

Oakly777: The only class at school that she actually goes to is Photography, as she either fucks, sucks, or sniffs for a vast majority of the rest of the day

HighRes1: No no no... fucks, sucks, AND sniffs.

Oakly777: She's also bisexual, and has actually fucked both Zoey and Nick several times.

Oakly777: Zoey and Nick have not had sex however due to being related by blood, save one time when Zoey was 11, and Nick was slightly hammered from a party just a few hours earlier

Oakly777: Now.

Oakly777: All three want to succeed in their respectable goals and shit...

HighRes1: And Nick wants to fuck cats, right?

Oakly777: Yes, but not yet.

Oakly777: And through some means, they all figure that drug money will help them out in achieving their goals.

Oakly777: So they sell pot for a few weeks, until Zoey gets shot in the foot by a Cuban with only three and a half fingers between both of his hands.

Oakly777: They realize that it's a bit dangerous.

HighRes1: How does Zoe explain the wound to her family? Or does she not live at home?

Oakly777: As soon as she gets some money her and her brother move into an apartment together... er, and by "apartment" I mean the basement of Zachary Hicc's house. Zack is someone who Zoey fucks occasionally for money

Oakly777: or drugs

Oakly777: or both

HighRes1: Or neither.

Oakly777: Ok, so. They then discover that there's a much more subtle, and valuable market that's based on the distribution of Raw Ether.

Oakly777: Okay, so... from here they each eventually fall to drugs. Zoey becomes a total drug-whore who is in Zachary's room [with about 5 guys at a time] about 17 hours a day, so that she can earn enough to get by while still getting high.

HighRes1: Where is she for the other 7 hours?

Oakly777: 1 hour is sleep, 3 hours is doing drugs, other 4 hours spent in Lanette's room, banging her

HighRes1: lol

Oakly777: Meanwhile, Lanette having sex with both Zoey and Nick has caused them to get utterly pissed at eachother, so Nick leaves to go back and live with his parents, and their one cat, Santiago.

Oakly777: One night when he's had too much ether, he fucks the cat while he's taking a bath.

Oakly777: He then becomes addicted to this.

Oakly777: Soon he's trying every species available, especially dogs, however, he desperately wants to buy a horse.

Oakly777: So that he can have sex with it, you see.

HighRes1: Of course.

HighRes1: There's a music number in here somewhere, right?

Oakly777: So, he sells all of his cocaine, and goes to buy the horse, however, having not had cocaine in 13 hours, he has a stroke because his body now depends on having drugs

Oakly777: At this point, there is a music video featuring closeups of Nick's eyes, and an orgy in Zack's room to parallel the downfall of the two lost siblings

HighRes1: What song?

Oakly777: "Rudie Can't Fail" by the Clash

Oakly777: He gets taken to the hospital, and he's given morphine. He then becomes addicted to morphine, and escapes by holding a nurse hostage, threatening to inject her with all of the morphine he has

Oakly777: He gets past security, and into his car. Upon doing this, he injects himself with all of the morphine he has.

Oakly777: He drives for a little bit, and through the drug frenzy somehow thinks that he is in love with Lanette, who he has only fucked 36 times within the last month.

HighRes1: Nah... Two weeks.

Oakly777: Fair enough.

Oakly777: He drives to her house to pick her up, with plans of moving to Bayon, New Jersey and starting up the laundry mat thing

Oakly777: One might note that aside from her showing up at his house and fucking him, and then driving to Zoey's rental place and fucking her, Lanette has been pretty incognito for a few weeks.

HighRes1: Suspicious indeed.

Oakly777: It turns out that she's finally made a prophet in the Photography business, by taking pictures of herself while her father rams her up the ass, or in other various orphises/holes, even cutting her open to make new ones and what have you.

HighRes1: ...

Oakly777: He arrives during one of her and her father's little molestation sessions, and kills the dad with an authentic crossbow that was being displayed on the wall

HighRes1: ... I know that... what's that from?

Oakly777: Crossbow?

HighRes1: I could swear killing someone with an authentic crossbow that was being displayed on the wall is a phrase you've used before.

Oakly777: Um... it's used in SORT of the same way in Deuce Bigalow, I think the pimp tries to shoot him with a crossbow in that

Oakly777: I don't remember using it before, and I wasn't concsiously thinking of that when I thought it up just now.

HighRes1: Ah well. Continue.

Oakly777: Either way, Lanette is quite upset, and decks him with a curling iron.

Oakly777: He falls, she rips the arrow out of her father's thigh, as he's bled to death now, and stabs Nick in the gut with it.

Oakly777: He slowly bleeds to death.

Oakly777: Feeling guilty suddenly, Lannette [who is obviously stoned] tries to have sex with Nick's dead body, and does so for an hour before his penis becomes too cold to ride without getting the chills.

Oakly777: Now, at this point we need to do something with Lanette, Zoey, and Zack... ideas?

HighRes1: ...

HighRes1: Who was Zack again?

Oakly777: Zoey and Lanette used to be best friends but now haven't spoken in a month, besides Lanette showing up with a stap-on and banging Zoey for 4 hours every night.

Oakly777: Zack is Zoey's pimp. He lets her live in his basement and holds gangbangs in his room for 17 hours straight each day, in which he and various other friends fuck Zoey and only Zoey for 17 hours. She gets paid 10-dollars a day.

Oakly777: She spends it all on cocaine, or raw ether.

HighRes1: Right, right. Sorry, I got confused.

HighRes1: Ok, sooo...

Oakly777: Lanette shows up at Zack's...

Oakly777: Now think of something for her to do.

HighRes1: Zack finds out about the little Lannete/Zoe sessions, and is pissed that Zoe's doing it for free.

HighRes1: So he clocks Zoe with an open and well-heated waffle iron.

HighRes1: Then kidnaps Lannette...

HighRes1: Trying to think where and why...

Oakly777: No no no, Lannette shows up looking for Zoey, because she wants Zoey to finger her for a few hours to calm her down after the death of Nick and her father.

HighRes1: I want the waffle-iron in here somewhere.

Oakly777: Zack assumes that "She's a bitch who's been gettin' free play"

Oakly777: He gags her, and sets her up spreadeagle on his bed.

Oakly777: He charges $12 per-person for guys to come in and fuck Zoey for however long they please.

Oakly777: This goes on without stopping for at least 6 days

HighRes1: She goes without water for six days?

Oakly777: Well, she lives on cum.

Oakly777: Anyhow.

Oakly777: Actually, this goes on for 2 weeks.

Oakly777: At this point, Zack has fed her all of three times, but is willing to let her go because Zoey has promised to stop fucking her.

Oakly777: However, he then finds out that Lanette is pregnant while he's scraping up the dried Period blood and urin left behind with a Pregnant Test device.

Oakly777: She's still tied up, btw.

Oakly777: Wanting to get rid of the baby without killing her, he cuts open her clitoris and ovaries in search of the baby.

Oakly777: She bleeds to death before he finds it, sadly.

HighRes1: There's probably irony in that somewhere.

Oakly777: Well yeah, if you know your history. It symbolizes the last battle of the Korean War, fool.

Oakly777: Anyhow.

Oakly777: Zoey is the only teen left, and she has AID's, Ghonorrhea, and Herpes by now.

Oakly777: Oh, and a slight cold, too.

HighRes1: You're a cruel man, TNT/

HighRes1: .

Oakly777: It turns out that she's become famous on the underground whore circuit as the "BANG BANG ALL DAY ALL DAY" lady.

Oakly777: Two small Japanese men come and offer to buy her services from Zack.

HighRes1: This movie is gonna be longer than Lord of the Rings.

Oakly777: Just under 4 hours, yeah.

Oakly777: They offer her $30 if she stars in a porn video called...

Oakly777: "TEH FUQ"

Oakly777: It features the following:

Oakly777: A Belgian cable guy named Seigfried shows up at the innocent Zoey's house looking to hook up her cable.

Oakly777: She wants him to hook her up with Cocaine, instead.

Oakly777: He says that it'll come at the price of pleasure, though.

HighRes1: At the price of pleasure? That's beautiful.

Oakly777: From here, Zoey gives him head. She them spits his cum into a syringe. She injects his cum into his ass, and he takes a shit into her mouth. She eats his phesies, and then they fuck for two solid hours, while reading the Karma Sutra.

Oakly777: And finally, Zoey hits a gold-mine as an actress with "TEH FUQ," which makes her about 7-million dollars through the video sales, subscription to her official webpage, and the toy sales

HighRes1: ... toy sales?

Oakly777: yes, the toys that are based on the movie, silly

Oakly777: She moves to France, and while fucking a church-goer in a Church Confession box, she has a moment of clarity.

Oakly777: She believes that her success was all due to her brother Nick helping her out from Heaven.

Oakly777: She devotes her life to God, becomes a nun, and lives in a Ministry.

HighRes1: Fucking the nuns, of course.

Oakly777: Zack dies in a tragic female-menstration accident just a month later, and Zoey holds an entire sevice in his memory.

Oakly777: This is the ending, as we fade out to Prince's "Head"

HighRes1: What should the name of this masterpiece be?

Oakly777: Okay, now, I'll post this conversation on the Community boards, and see if anyone will fund it, eh?

Oakly777: Oh...

Oakly777: Um...

Oakly777: Well, you're going to do the actual writing, so you can name it.

Oakly777: Make sure that you give it a name that'll work for both cinema AND broadway, though

HighRes1: lmao

Oakly777: Give it a name, and I'll post it on the boards.

HighRes1: Nah.

Oakly777: Dude, that was the POINT!

HighRes1: We had a point?

Oakly777: Well, we need to get someone to fund it.

Oakly777: Edwin, Annie, MrG or Andrea will, I promise.

Oakly777: Now just give it a name, heh.

HighRes1: ... nah.

HighRes1: I'm giving you full license to do with the project what you will.

Oakly777: How about "A Kitty's Dynasty"

HighRes1: ... you are a strange and frightening thing.

Oakly777: Genius, I'll post it and we'll get someone in the executive producer spot right away.

[Guest chirs3]

I would like to remind everyone that this is his movie.

[Guest Kibagami]

I will give you a nickel.

 

K.

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

TNT, you are one sick, sick, SICK little fucker.

[Guest TheAntipop]

You're right, I'm totally on board to not only fund this, but I'd like to star in it as well.

 

We're sitting on a gold mine here, boys.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

You're right, I'm totally on board to not only fund this, but I'd like to star in it as well.

 

We're sitting on a gold mine here, boys.

You can be Zack. Crowe's Mom can be Zoey. Annie can be Lannette aaaand Silent can be Nick.

 

Brilliant.

[Guest Thoth]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU ARE MORE FUCKED UP THAN I COULD EVR HOPE TO BE

[Guest TheAntipop]

Munich can be the cat.

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

HighRes1: She goes without water for six days?

Oakly777: Well, she lives on cum.

Oakly777: Anyhow.

 

The best part? He's fourteen, ladies and gentlemen!

 

In other news, I'll be on board to direct photography as soon as I get my damned A.S.C. card.

[Guest Angel_Grace_Blue]

Why do I think that TNT had this mostly planned, as it is most likely his dream to screw a cat? And a horse.

 

Feh, I won't even do a pity blade for this thing.

[Guest Ace309]

... what the fuck is wrong with you?

[Guest Muzz]

You're a much more tolerant person that I Raynor. I would have quit after a fine lines of that.

[Guest Crowe]

Eh, I could make something more fucked up.