Breaking News From CNN.com

January 29, 2003

This truly sucks. I'm a huge fan of his music.

Right now, CNN is the only one reporting it... but damn... this is a sad day here in Detroit.

January 29, 2003

Wow. Jay-Z, 50 Cent, and Eminem all in one week. 'Tis a sad time for rap music in the alternate universe where anyone could possibly take these poorly written news articles seriously. They fucked up the HEADLINE in this one. What the fuck is up with that comma, people? Someone tell me.

January 29, 2003

Wait... never mind. It's a damn hoax.

I'm going to go hurt someone now. *cracks knuckles*

January 29, 2003

Um, this is obviously fake. There aren't even any paragraph breaks in the article.

January 29, 2003

Looks like parts of it were pasted from the Maurice Gibb stories, too.

January 29, 2003

Coming right on the heels of the Jay Z and 50 Cent news, this is too funny.

January 29, 2003

WHOO! Let's here it for the SWF Chat room! BTW, I have a whole bunch of people on my hall thinking Eminem is dead. Bahahahahahaha

January 29, 2003

If you only had....

one chance...

to make impressionable young people...

who have obviously never read a real newspaper article...

believe that a celebrity was dead...

would you take it?

January 29, 2003

Hmm... you'd think that something from CNN.com would have the letters CNN in the title eh?

Hehe...

-Taft

January 29, 2003

If you only had....

one chance...

to make impressionable young people...

who have obviously never read a real newspaper article...

believe that a celebrity was dead...

would you take it?

Hell yes. Actually, I'm waiting for someone in my College Dorm hall to figure out it's not real.

January 29, 2003

My condolences go out to

ANY IDIOT WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL

January 29, 2003

I was over at the Pitchfork board when the Jay Z story "broke." One person said their local hip hop station had a tribute going.

January 29, 2003

I could play such a cruel trick on one of my friends right now....

January 29, 2003

One person said their local hip hop station had a tribute going.

too great

January 29, 2003

Here's the whole thing. Try it on your friends!

(9:56pm) (Join) (Ash) ([email protected]) (#SWF)

<Judge2284> Ash!

<Judge2284> http://66.111.43.11/reports/2003/WORLD/019...94/9031241.html

(9:56pm) (Ash)Evening

(9:56pm) (Thor) dude this is friggin weird Ash

<Judge2284> Damn it, the link never works.

(9:57pm) (Thor) the whole school is gonna be talking bout this tonorrow

<Judge2284> http://66.111.43.11/reports/2003/WORLD/019...94/9031241.html

(9:57pm) (Ash) what happened?

<Judge2284> Fucker.

<Judge2284> http://66.111.43.11/reports/2003/WORLD/019...94/9031241.html

(9:57pm) (Ash) what is it?

<Judge2284> http://66.111.43.11/reports/2003/WORLD/019...94/9031241.html

(9:57pm) (Ash) not working

<Judge2284> Damn.

(9:58pm) (Thor) shit

<Judge2284> Try the last one.

(9:58pm) (Thor) try to copy and paste

(9:58pm) (Ash) nope

<Judge2284> The last one works.

(9:59pm) (Action) TBS_Away is away. Reason: Does it look like I'm here? (P/Off) (L/Off)

(9:59pm) (Ash) not working for me

(9:59pm) (Thor) wow...

(9:59pm) (Ash)WHAT?!?!?!

(9:59pm) (Thor) ever since this came up Bo hasn't said a word

(9:59pm) (Thor) http://66.111.43.11/reports/2003/WORLD/019...94/9031241.html

(9:59pm) (Ash) Fuck no...

(9:59pm) (Thor) yeah

(10:00pm) (Taamo_00503) Poll!

<Judge2284> It's amazing.

(10:00pm) (Taamo_00503) What colour is Funyon wearing tonight?

<Judge2284> Red

(10:00pm) (Ash) Shit

<Judge2284> They took it down off the Main Page to avoid a panic.

(10:00pm) (Taamo_00503) No, Ash, he's not wearing Brown

(10:01pm) (LDP_02785) ( DOGGAmp in the house!! ) ( Live - Lightning Crashes ) ( 5m23s ) ( "LDP Cloggers through 1 flaming tables!!" )

(10:01pm) (Thor) dude, who do we know who likes eminem ash?

(10:01pm) (Taamo_00503) ... holy shit

(10:01pm) (Thor) anyone in particular?

(10:01pm) (Taamo_00503) is that article for real?

(10:01pm) (Nick) (LDP_02785) (to) (LDP_02872)

(10:01pm) (Bo) I like eminem

<Judge2284> Yes, Tom.

(10:01pm) (Taamo_00503) holy god

(10:01pm) (Thor) it's friggin CNN

<Judge2284> I fucking can't believe it.

(10:01pm) (Taamo_00503) I mean, I don't like the guy, but....

(10:01pm) (Ash) Me either

(10:01pm) (Thor) shitty way to die

(10:01pm) (Bo) This can;t be happening

(10:01pm) (LDP_02872) You all right Bo?

(10:02pm) (Bo) he shouldnt have die

(10:02pm) (Bo) No

(10:02pm) (Bo) That's like my idol

(10:02pm) (Bo) and shit

(10:02pm) (Bo) he was my fav

(10:02pm) (Bo) what the fuck

(10:02pm) (Thor) this is freaky as hell

(10:02pm) (Bo) everytime I have a favorite something, they die

(10:02pm) (Bo) first Pun, now him

(10:02pm) (Ash) I feel for ya, Bo

(10:02pm) (Ash) I'm a big fan, too

(10:02pm) (TNT_05036) ...Who's Marshall Mathers?

(10:02pm) (LDP_02872) That's Eminem's real name

(10:02pm) (TNT_05036) ...Who's Eminem?

(10:02pm) (Ash) Oh shit... the other favorite one better not die now

(10:03pm) (Bo) Who's EMINEM

(10:03pm) (Action) * Ash refers to Kid Rock

(10:03pm) (Bo) WHOS EMINEM

(10:03pm) (Taamo_00503) Eminem's a skinny whit eguy who thinks he's an angry black guy

(10:03pm) (Taamo_00503) ... he was, anyway

(10:03pm) (TNT_05036) Oh, the 8 Mile guy?

(10:03pm) (Bo) STOP

(10:03pm) (Ash) Yes

(10:03pm) (Bo) He's the best rapper right now

(10:03pm) (Bo) wtf

(10:03pm) (Bo) and now he dies

<Judge2284> Fuck.... I mean, MVS is going to kill himself.

(10:03pm) (Ash) I know

(10:03pm) (LDP_02872) Someone's living under a rock.

(10:03pm) (TNT_05036) I don't listen to rap.

(10:03pm) (Bo) have you no feelings

(10:04pm) (Thor) yeah... man, i was talkin shit about him earlier this week and now i feel bad

(10:04pm) (Bo) I hate likin park...but I gon talk shit about them, I just dont listen to them

(10:04pm) (Thor) fuck...

(10:04pm) (Bo) why you gotta talk shit abou thim

(10:04pm) (Kick) (#SWF) (Judge2284) (Kicked) (TNT_05036) (Insensitive PRICK.)

(10:04pm) (Bo) he aint do shit to you

(10:04pm) (Join) (TNT_05036) (Uh...bong_@***.oc.oc.cox.net) (#SWF)

(10:04pm) (Bo) YOU KILLED HIM

(10:04pm) (Taamo_00503) sorry, sorry... that was insensitive.

(10:04pm) (Taamo_00503) I'm wrong.

(10:04pm) (TNT_05036) Wasn't he part of the Beastie Boys way back when?

<Judge2284> Yeah, you'd watch the fuck out, Taamo.

(10:05pm) (Bo) I WILL KILL YOU TNT

(10:05pm) (Thor) dude, that makes me feel like shit

(10:05pm) (Bo) Have ya no feelings

(10:05pm) (TNT_05036) Well, was he?

(10:05pm) (Ash) NO

(10:05pm) (Bo) NO

(10:05pm) (Bo) How dare you

(10:05pm) (TNT_05036) Oh.

(10:06pm) (TNT_05036) Well, the Beastie Boys were pretty good.

(10:06pm) (Bo) SLIM SHADY

(10:06pm) (Bo) THEY SUCK

(10:06pm) (Bo) WTF

(10:06pm) (Thor) the god damned man is dead and you make fuckin jokes?

(10:06pm) (Nick) (Taamo_00503) (to) (Taamo_00649)

(10:06pm) (TNT_05036) ...

(10:06pm) (TNT_05036) OK, YOU SUCK

(10:06pm) (Action) * Taamo_00649 is going fast. Oh yeah.

(10:06pm) (Thor) you sick fuck

(10:06pm) (Bo) HE JUST DIE

(10:06pm) (Bo) WTF

(10:06pm) (TNT_05036) Well, the Beastie Boys were good anyway.

(10:07pm) (LDP_02872) Eat a bag of dicks, TNT.

(10:07pm) (Action) * LDP_02872 blinks

(10:07pm) (LDP_02872) Sorry.

(10:07pm) (LDP_02872) I've just always wanted to say that.

(10:07pm) (TNT_05036) heh, stop stealing Edwin's insults.

(10:07pm) (Thor) Ash, who do we know that like, we need to call and tell

(10:08pm) (LDP_02872) ( DOGGAmp in the house!! ) ( The Offspring - Original Prankster ) ( 3m39s ) ( "LDP Cloggers through 3 flaming tables!!" )

(10:08pm) (Ash) I dunno

(10:08pm) (LDP_02872) \m/ .... Eric Moon!

(10:08pm) (TNT_05036) Why is he called Eminem?

(10:08pm) (Thor) i know there's like one of our friends that likes eminem

(10:08pm) (Ash) CNN.com is the only one currently reporting it

(10:09pm) (LDP_02872) My brother's a skinny white kid who thinks he's black

(10:09pm) (TNT_05036) Well yeah, they have an insider's scoop.

(10:09pm) (LDP_02872) I should tell him

(10:09pm) (Thor) wait... are you friends with Rocky, Ash?

(10:09pm) (TNT_05036) Ash has friends?

(10:09pm) (TNT_05036) THOR has friends?

(10:09pm) (Bo) why are ya so cruel?

(10:09pm) (Thor) fuck off cockass

(10:09pm) (Bo) The man just passed away

(10:09pm) (Bo) and he wasnt even killed

(10:09pm) (Bo) he die on surgery

(10:09pm) (Bo) and ya people make jokes?

(10:10pm) (Bo) ya...I can;t believe I'm even socializing with ya

(10:10pm) (TNT_05036) Meh, Tupac was cooler.

(10:10pm) (Bo) TnT...at first I thought you was a cool person, but right now...you're nothing to me..and that's word

(10:10pm) (Thor) do you have a soul boy?

(10:11pm) (Thor) the man is dead

(10:11pm) (Thor) dont you feel anything for him?

(10:11pm) (Thor) at all?

(10:11pm) (TNT_05036) Well, I didn't really know who he was.

(10:11pm) (Bo) but dont make fun of hiom

(10:11pm) (Bo) him*

(10:11pm) (Bo) that's not right...

(10:11pm) (TNT_05036) I didn't.

(10:11pm) (Thor) then shut the hell up

(10:11pm) (Taamo_00649) Geez, TNT

(10:11pm) (Bo) What happen if YOU die

(10:11pm) (Bo) and I make fun of you

(10:11pm) (Bo) I be fucked up right

(10:11pm) (Taamo_00649) I bet you thought Mass Transit jokes were funny, too.

(10:11pm) (Thor) chat will be a lot funner

(10:11pm) (Bo) Cuz I really didnt know you

(10:12pm) (TNT_05036) Mass Transit. Ahahahahahaha.

(10:12pm) (Thor) dude, this just isn't even cool

<Judge2284> That's just wrong.

(10:12pm) (Ash) WAIT A SECOND

(10:13pm) (Ash) Wait, never mind

<Judge2284> What?

(10:13pm) (LDP_02872) ?

<Judge2284> What was it?

(10:13pm) (LDP_02872) ( DOGGAmp in the house!! ) ( Stone Sour - Bother ) ( 3m59s ) ( "LDP Cloggers through 11 flaming tables!!" )

(10:13pm) (Ash) http://66.111.43.11/

(10:13pm) (TNT_05036) WHAT WAS IT, ASH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!????????????????

<Judge2284> They took it off the main site. I went back, it was gone.

(10:13pm) (Ash) IT'S A FAKE NEWS GENERATOR

<Judge2284> No, it's the archives.

(10:13pm) (Ash) Oh

(10:13pm) (TNT_05036) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(10:13pm) (TNT_05036) IT IS!?!?!?!?!?

<Judge2284> No, it's the archives.

(10:13pm) (Ash) Oh

(10:13pm) (TNT_05036) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(10:13pm) (TNT_05036) IT IS!?!?!?!?!?

(10:13pm) (TNT_05036) OH

(10:14pm) (Ash) Well, there's a fake news generator, too

* Judge2284 smacks TNT.

(10:14pm) (Action) 9* TBS_Away is away. Reason: Does it look like I'm here? (P/Off) (L/Off)

(10:14pm) (Thor) why would they put it in the archives if its recent

(10:14pm) (LDP_02872)

(10:14pm) (Thor) wait...

(10:14pm) (TNT_05036) WHEW

<Judge2284> ... Fake new Generator?

<Judge2284> Because they took it off the main site, Thor.

(10:14pm) (Thor) is it to handle the massive news flow or something?

<Judge2284> I went back, it was gone.

(10:14pm) (Thor) the flood of people?

<Judge2284> To avoid a mass panic, yeah.

(10:14pm) (Ash) Someone got 'em good before with Jay-Z's death

(10:14pm) (Ash) http://www.thesmartmarks.com/forums/index....08b7acd32969014

(10:14pm) (Thor) god damn

(10:15pm) (Ash) Read

(10:15pm) (Action) 9* LDP_02872 slaps everyone around

(10:15pm) (LDP_02872) y'all are so damn gullible it's funny

(10:15pm) (Ash) And I just posted on the Music Board

(10:15pm) (Action) 9* Ash runs to delete message

January 29, 2003

As funny as this is, What going to happen is this,A real musician will die and we're just gonna assume it's a hoax like this.

January 29, 2003

When a real musician dies, it will appear on the CNN site, in their story-naming format, without factually incorrect information. It will also not bear a striking similarity to the article on Maurice Gibb's death.

January 29, 2003

I think the majority of us are intelligent enough to tell the difference between a real news story and a fake one. Real news stories look like they're written by professional journalists, while fake ones look like they're written by second graders. Real news stories are reported in several different venues, rather than on one isolated and blatantly fake CNN mirror site. If someone actually died, we'd be able to tell the difference.

January 29, 2003

I was over at the Pitchfork board when the Jay Z story "broke." One person said their local hip hop station had a tribute going.

There's a Pitchfork message board? Kweh?

*refuses to discuss the topic at hand*

January 29, 2003

My condolences go out to

ANY IDIOT WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL

...I can't be the only one who reads this, notices the "edited by bob_barron", and is somewhat suspicious

January 29, 2003

My college dorm was all abuzz about the Jay-Z one, and I can say from experience that it's easy to get caught up in a story like that and not notice the flaws in the style or other things.

But as a Journalism student, I feel weird about letting myself get caught up in it.

January 29, 2003

TOTALFARK!

Im actually quite tired of the stupid fake articles..

January 29, 2003

Heh. Three of these things got through to regular Fark yesterday. Two about the Olsen Twins and one about CNN suing the makers of the fake news generator, which was a pretty good idea.

Not to mention all the ones in TotalFark

January 29, 2003

My condolences go out to

ANY IDIOT WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS REAL

...I can't be the only one who reads this, notices the "edited by bob_barron", and is somewhat suspicious

I was here when he posted the original one, the last sentence of which read "ANY IDIOT WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS DEAD." I took note of it because I was preparing to make fun of him.

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