The SmartMarks Worst 100 Movies Of All Time

[Guest J*ingus]

I am yet another sick fuck who was reared on a diet of USA Up All Night as a young lad. Ah, for the days of Rhonda and Gilbert...

 

Anyway, I'm amazed that nobody has mentioned Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: The Next Generation as a contender yet. Ye gods, I've never met ANYONE who liked that flick, ever. And I inhabit a forum where there are actually people who will defend The Doom Generation and Gummo, so that's a pretty good indicator of just how shitty TCM4:TNG is.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

Brace yourself... I like TCM:TNG. I enjoy it as camp. It's just a train wreck, but I can't say no to a cross dressing Leatherface. And that wacky leg contraption. Gold.

[Guest C.H.U.D.]

Anyway, I'm amazed that nobody has mentioned Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: The Next Generation as a contender yet.  Ye gods, I've never met ANYONE who liked that flick, ever.

I do. Suprised?

[Guest Hogan Made Wrestling]

Eye of the Beholder

 

This movie is just so horrible it defies description.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

And I inhabit a forum where there are actually people who will defend The Doom Generation and Gummo...

AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!! Defend Gummo?!?! How... why? I can't believe I missed that in my earlier post. I guess it's one of those things that's just so horrid your brain gives you a mental block. I love exploitation and grotesque stuff as much as the next man, but it needs at least some semblance of plot, or at least be honest and present itself as a mondo-style film. Gummo did none of these, and I'm so messed up in the head I wasn't even that disturbed. So what did I get for it? Nothing! Why, why why? AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

 

I've actually never seen The Doom Generation, but if I'm thinking of the right movie, it at least has Rose Macgowan topless in it, right?

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

Dude, just get nice and fucked up on drugs, then watch Gummo. Whole other experience. Actually, that works with TCM:TNG as well.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Perhaps. But seeing as how I'm clean and sober (for the time being, though I'm going to get messed up on Valentine's Day for the first time hopefully), that is unfortunately how I have to see all my movies. Yes, I am a movie masochist.

[Guest Lethargic]

And I inhabit a forum where there are actually people who will defend The Doom Generation and Gummo...

AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!! Defend Gummo?!?! How... why? I can't believe I missed that in my earlier post. I guess it's one of those things that's just so horrid your brain gives you a mental block. I love exploitation and grotesque stuff as much as the next man, but it needs at least some semblance of plot, or at least be honest and present itself as a mondo-style film. Gummo did none of these, and I'm so messed up in the head I wasn't even that disturbed. So what did I get for it? Nothing! Why, why why? AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

 

I've actually never seen The Doom Generation, but if I'm thinking of the right movie, it at least has Rose Macgowan topless in it, right?

This thread is the first time since the movie came out that I've seen anybody say a bad word about the Doom Generation.

[Guest J*ingus]

Read Roger Ebert's zero-star review of Doom Generation, which I pretty much agreed with. Despite the lovely McGowan getting naked twice in the first twenty minutes, I still ejected the tape and took the damn thing back, it was so wretched.

 

As for Gummo, from everything I've heard, writer-director Harmony Korine is a total piece of shit. A guy who worked on the movie related the story about how Korine spiked the drink of an actor who was a recovering alcoholic, so that he could get a "more realistic" scene out of the guy (who went home and beat up his wife in a drug-addled haze later that night). After they completed the last shot of the last take, Korine went nuts and started smashing every single window and piece of furniture in the house they were shooting in, screaming "Free at last, free at last, I'm free of all you motherfuckers at last!" And when he once called another (male) actor friend of mine about working on a movie sometime in the future, one of the first questions out of Korine's mouth was: "So, how willing are you to do nudity?" Fuck him, and everything he's ever done.

[Guest Michael Joel Benoit]

The worst movie I'd ever seen is Invasion of the Neptune Men.

 

This piece of cinematic shit was on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. It is HORRIBLE. Just HORRIBLE! I know that 1950's Japaneese Sci-Fi movies aren't that great to begin with, but Damn! I didn't expect it to be that bad.

 

The plot is horrible. The dubbing is wretched. At some points I couldn't even understand what the hell they said. (one of the kids sounded like he said ROO-PAUL! in one scene) And one of the kids has a voice that sounds like a from The Simpsons dubbed his voice. And the music sounded as though a retarded monkey banged on piano keys! And the children. Those irritating, annoying little tight shorts wearing children! Thankfully, Mike and the bots riffing helped out ALOT but at one point they walked out as they couldn't take the crap anymore!

 

Even though the movie sucks, I recommend it, only, ONLY because of Mike and the Bots riffing.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation is redeemable only by Matt McConahey's (I know I totally butchered his name) performance.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

It'd be even funnier if Matthew McConaughey was Matthew Broderick.

 

Am I the only person who gets these two guys mixed up? Don't ask me how... but I always do.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

It was Broderick ruined Cable Guy! Jim Carrey was awesome in that.

 

I'll nominate Cable Guy though. It is the only Jim Carrey movie I do not own (I even have Rubberface for crying out loud), although I did go to see it on the day it opened (and watched as people left 20, 30, 40 minutes into the movie leaving me and like 2 other people in the theatre. I was gonna tape it off of HBO but then we stopped getting HBO.

[Guest El Satanico]

It'd be even funnier if Matthew McConaughey was Matthew Broderick.

 

Am I the only person who gets these two guys mixed up? Don't ask me how... but I always do.

What? You get them two mixed up?

 

I know you told us not to ask but I must know...how do you manage that?

[Guest MrRant]

Tank Girl.... GOD DAMN that sucked.

[Guest MarvinisaLunatic]

I personally don't know how you could confuse the two either. Except for the fact that they are both actors with the first name Matthew, I don't see how you could..

[Guest godthedog]

Read Roger Ebert's zero-star review of Doom Generation, which I pretty much agreed with. Despite the lovely McGowan getting naked twice in the first twenty minutes, I still ejected the tape and took the damn thing back, it was so wretched.

 

As for Gummo, from everything I've heard, writer-director Harmony Korine is a total piece of shit. A guy who worked on the movie related the story about how Korine spiked the drink of an actor who was a recovering alcoholic, so that he could get a "more realistic" scene out of the guy (who went home and beat up his wife in a drug-addled haze later that night). After they completed the last shot of the last take, Korine went nuts and started smashing every single window and piece of furniture in the house they were shooting in, screaming "Free at last, free at last, I'm free of all you motherfuckers at last!" And when he once called another (male) actor friend of mine about working on a movie sometime in the future, one of the first questions out of Korine's mouth was: "So, how willing are you to do nudity?" Fuck him, and everything he's ever done.

there's also the story of how he tried to make a documentary where he would go to different cities picking fights with strangers. he'd take a camera crew on the street with him, pick somebody who was bigger than him, and try to get in a fight with him. this went on for a few weeks until korine had to cancel the project, as he'd already been in the hospital 3 or 4 times by that point.

 

'gummo' got under my skin in a way that no other movie has ever done. it was obviously intentional, so i've got a tremendous respect for it. like it or not, it succeeded spectacularly at what it set out to do. the second time i saw it, it didn't seem nearly as bad. up until the end, it was actually kind of boring. i wrote a paper about it for feminist film theory class, and how it "frees the camera from any aestheticizing of its characters and frees the viewer from any scopophilia."

 

he came out with a book recently, i can't remember the title. anyone read it?

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

I like the Cable Guy, in fact it is the only Jim Carrey movie I own. I look at it on the same level as Dirty Work. I've heard people talk about why it's bad, but I just don't get it.

 

By the way, I always used to mix up Rod Stewart and David Lee Roth, but I've got them pretty much sorted out now.

[Guest JHawk]

I nominate "Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael". The short version: Some bitch is in a city that's famous for being the home of some chick named "Roxy Carmichael", and the bitch claims to be Roxy's daughter. "Hilarity" ensues.

 

Utter tripe.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

It'd be even funnier if Matthew McConaughey was Matthew Broderick.

 

Am I the only person who gets these two guys mixed up? Don't ask me how... but I always do.

What? You get them two mixed up?

 

I know you told us not to ask but I must know...how do you manage that?

I think it's because I've seen more Matthew Broderick movies than Matthew McConaughey, and there aren't really that many other actors/big name guys named Matthew that I see a lot, so when I hear actor and "Matthew", the first image that pops in my head is always Matthew Broderick.

 

Plus, Matthew Broderick always looks the same in all his roles. Matthew McConaughey at least looks different, so I further lack an image to go with his name. At least that's the closest thing to an explanation I can come up with.

[Guest MrRant]

I will repeat....

 

Tank Girl...

 

And Going Overboard the horrible... HORRIBLE Adam Sandler movie.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

Going Overboard had a certain charm in it's terribleness. I like Little Nicky, but other than that, I'd say pretty much all of Sandler's post Happy Gilmore work has been crap.

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Going Overboard had a certain charm in it's terribleness. I like Little Nicky, but other than that, I'd say pretty much all of Sandler's post Happy Gilmore work has been crap.

What are you talking about?

 

 

The Wedding Singer and the Waterboy were hilarious.

 

 

And Big Daddy was cute in a family-sorta way.

[Guest IDrinkRatsMilk]

I hate the Wedding Singer. It might fool you into thinking it's cool because it's set in the 80s, but I don't like it. The Waterboy was too juvenile for my tastes. Big Daddy was like Cop and a Half: The Next Generation, complete with urination bonding scene. Sorry, that's just my opinion.