The Weekly Hoss Report

[Guest TheSoleSurvivor]

Well shoot me in the head and call me Kennedy, it's the Hoss report!

 

Well, by God everyone, it's damn good to be back, I guess. All the same crap-faced scalawags are still making me sick, though. But enough about them, let's talk about me, the by-God Hoss!

 

Well, Jesus, you guys are all probably wondering why I bailed on this shit hole of a promotion. Well, it was a few things. For one, I had one HELL of a drinking problem, downing a few Jack Daniel's a day. I had to sort that out. In addition, I was making plenty of damn money working at a cattle ranch down in Texas over the summer, so I didn't need to bust my mittens hitting fist drops and clothslines on a bunch of northern spoiled rich boys. Like Angle-Plex. That son of a gun will be the death of me. Why dun he just quit runnin his mouth all the time, and let the Hoss occupy to the top spot in the promotion he so rightfully deserves? And Sandman, and all his damn hardcore horse shit. Hardcore is punchin' a man in the face, not shovin' light bulbs up his ass.

 

I do expect to be returning by Anglemania II, and expect to kick some ass!

 

-By GOD! I'll see ya'll next week!

 

_The Sole Survivor, the by-Diddly-Dang Hoss of the century