From the Annals of IGN...

[Guest Kibagami]

The wit and wrath of Brimstone!

 

K.

 

=========================

 

Promo: Vengeance

 

Night has fallen on the busy city of Dallas, Texas bringing out the nocturnal creatures of this place for a night of adventure, as a cold wind begins to stir. Overhead a fast moving storm seems to be moving in from the north, centralizing itself over one city block. Mostly over the Dallas Hard Rock Café, which is where one party out of the many in this city is taking place.

 

Inside the Hard Rock café, in one of the various enclosed rooms usually set aside for larger gatherings this party or celebration of sorts has already begun.

 

CLINK!

 

The sound of two glasses filled with sparkling Champaign vibrates through out the room as a toast to a job well done is made.

 

Munich: To the first celebration of a new booking committee!

 

Mistress Sarah: Indeed. I really had to rack my poor brain on a few of those matches, but all in all I think we will be giving the fans exactly what they wanted.

 

Munich: What about the hogpen match! Man that’s going to be classic!

 

Mistress Sarah: We are big headed F***s aren’t we?

 

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

 

The pair goes silent, surprised by the sudden scream that came forth, wondering what was going on. Munich looks to Mistress Sarah with a somewhat puzzled look on his face. Mistress Sarah simply shrugs her shoulders, implying that she hadn’t the foggiest notion of what was occurring in the restaurants main dining facility. The stained glass window gets Munich’s attention as a large shadowy figure appears before it.

 

Munich: Oh screams…Someone saw Jamie’s ugly face. Hehe!

 

CRRRRRRRASSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

Munich: WHAT THE F***!!!

 

The window shatters as a body tears through its fibers and after a few rolls comes to a stop at the foot of the table. Munich decides to investigate further and is rather shocked at what he finds. Laying on the floor, with slivers of glass penetrating through his bloodied face is Jamie Bjork. Mistress Sarah is almost delighted by the site. After all she may have put her differences aside with him for tonight but he was the one thorn in her side.

 

Jamie begins to try and speak, coughing up blood and teeth as he tries. Slowly and painfully he makes some sense.

 

Jamie:H-H-He shot ….. me… in…the nads….)

 

Jamie’s head sinks to the floor, the loss of blood sending him into a state of unconsciousness. Munich looks towards the broken window just as his ears catch wind of a streaking dart, landing in his arm.

 

Munich: AHHHHHH!!! Oh my god! What is that? What is that? Get it off me!

 

Water pours from his eye’s like never before. He looks on to Mistress Sarah stammering for words, then His eyes roll back right before his head comes crashing into the table. The dart, obviously a tranquilizer has done its job well. Mistress Sarah jerks her self from her seat, grabbing her whip in one hand and standing ready for any foe that would present itself. She looks to the window hoping to see someone, something, but nothing is there. A cold chill shudders through her body as she feels a drop of water on her shoulder. Not wanting to take her concentration off the front of the room she simply wipes it off her.

 

Mistress Sarah gasp when she looks at her hand, expecting to see water but instead it is blood. Slowly she turns around, horrified when she the cold eyes of a killer connect with hers. His face dripping with the blood of another. His teeth are gritted together so tight you could almost split an atom. The one man killing machine, the government project, Brimstone. A steady stream flows like a river down Mistress Sarah’s leg as She looks the killer on. Fear has begun to overcome her not knowing what he wants or what he will do to her.

 

Mistress Sarah: God Almighty!

 

Immediately she snaps her whip! It unravels and heads for its prey like a deadly cobra, only this time the prey is ready. He knew all the years of military training would come to use in this world of wrestling and today is the day. Like clockwork his reflexes take over as he snatches the end of the whip from the air! Mistress Sarah’s eyes widen with shock at the site. No one could do that!

 

But he did. Training takes over where reflexes left off as he winds the end of the whip around her throat, and snatches the rest of the whip from her hand.

 

WHAM!

 

A roundhouse kick plants itself on Mistress Sarah’s jaw, knocking her to the floor. The whip tightens, cutting off her circulation. She grabs at the tail of the whip hoping to loosen it some, giving her some room to breathe. His hand joins hers, wrapped securely around her neck. With one hand he lifts her feet a good foot off the ground. She struggles a bit, mostly for air as each breath becomes harder and harder to receive.

 

Brimstone: You ain’t so hot now are you? One thing is for sure, You don’t F*** with me and you don’t F**** with Red Storm Rising! I would tell the others the same but they seem a little out of it for right now. So pass the message along.

 

With that said he makes a thirty degree spin towards the front of the table, Bringing down his mighty arm, and sending Mistress Sarah right through the center of it.

 

CRASSSSHHHHHH!!!!

 

The table splinters in two, with Mistress Sarah coming to a halt in the middle. She can breathe now. The ends of the whip untangled. When she awakens, she will know fear. She will know it for many years to come, when she sleeps at night and is abruptly awakened by a strange noise outside. Mostly just wind, but she can never be for sure.

 

Brimstone: Welcome to Creative Control Bitch!

 

Brimstone turns and leaves his massacre for someone else to clean up. Just another war-zone, with its own special price to pay. Brimstone then stops and reaches into one of his many pouches and extracts a small bottle with a gas soaked rag hanging from its spout. It takes a try or two but the lighter in his other hand comes to life. He ignites the rag and tosses it into the room where three bodies lay.

 

End.

[Guest TheSatanicAngel]

And the infamous retaliation promo ... be warned, it's graphic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PROMO - The OTHER Military

 

We zoom in from the sky, flying around in our pretty little helicopter. Below us is what appears to be a base. Okay, it's obviously a base. How could anyone miss a bright pink base from the sky? So, let's go down, SHALL WE?!

 

Zooooooom!

 

Safe landing on the purple helipad ... it has to stand out for the pilots, you know. The chopper blades begin to slow as the door opens from one side and out comes ... me! Sarah. Oh, and behind me is Jamie Bjork and Munich. We all duck down as we jog out of the helicopter's range, then glance around at the ... very bright buildings.

 

Straight ahead is Administration. To the left is Special Operations. And to the right is Physical Education. Pretty easy. Barracks are behind the Special Ops building.

 

I finally glance at the camera and begin talking into a microphone hooked to the lapel of my jacket. "Hello, fans! I'm here on special report with Munich and Jamie Bjork. Together, we're delving into the ... 'dark' past of IGNJL wrestler Brimstone. Yes, that military created enhanced freak."

 

From the Administrative building, a man in pink, purple, and white fatigues sashays toward us, the trio of one time reporters. He carries a riding whip and wears a pink baret. Once he arrives in front of the IGNWFers, he comes to attention (one hand on hip, one leg posed) and salutes (other hand floppy and facing down). How faggish!

 

We look between the three of us, then at the queer. He releases his stance, somewhat, and smiles, "Welcome, boyth and girlth, to Camp Bootay. I'm Thergeant Firtht Clath Manuel. I hear your wantin' to thee what it'th like. Follow me." He whips around with a head bob from side to side, and struts toward the Physical Education center.

 

We look around again and follow the man. Jamie and Munich pass worried looks back and forth. Man, his hips are swinging more than I do mine! It's a short ... sashay to the PE building, and we're allowed entrance. Once in the door, our jaws all fall to the ground.

 

Around the walls of the building is a track, where a drill instructor is running a squad of ... pansies. They run with their hands loose and their arms flailing, all in synch, of course. Then, in the middle is an obstacle course ... a very small one. Another drill sergeant is arguing with a private who is complaining about going over the course.

 

"Oh. My God," I can barely say. Toward the back of the building, just out of the track, is a group of soldiers doing some physical training. They're all naked. Guys on the floor are doing crunches with their legs straight ... while men hoisted over them do push-ups ... the guys doing push-ups have their mouths open and around ... schlongs! Going up and down with their push-ups! The horror! The guys doing crunches are having a REALLY HARD time!!

 

The guys running laps have stopped, and stand ... at attention. The same faggish pose that the boss man gave us earlier ... the drill instructor has singled someone out. "You jock!" he shouts. "You're running around here like you're the baddest thing there is!! Drop and give me fifty!!"

 

The GI swiftly turns on his heel, bends over and grabs his heels. Meanwhile, the drill instructor begins whacking the private in the ass! The squad of 'soldiers' watching counts!

 

"Uh," Jamie interrupts. "Can we move on?" The sergeant first class nods and motions out the door. "After you," he says. Jamie quickly shakes his head, and the officer shrugs and heads out. We follow, barely holding in our stomachs.

 

Okay, outside. No queers-in-training out here. Whew! I talk quietly to the camera, "So this is where Brimstone got his start. Here, he was trained by ... 'skilled men' of the military. And I think we're headed toward the Special Operations building. Maybe we'll see how he became genetically enhanced and what he is today ... "

 

The sergeant holds the door open to the Special Operations building. Inside is a long hallway. Doors line the hall. Four in all. It's a small building. The first door has a plaque on it reading, "Special Ops: Insertion." The sergeant opens the door and allows the three of us to step into the room.

 

A group of 'soldiers' sits in the room, intently watching the screen as a movie plays on the large projector. A glance to the screen causes Munich to turn green and he quickly steps out. Jamie and I just watch with open eyes. The screen shows a very white, very scrawny ass. The cheeks are parted, revealing the asshole. To the side of the asshole, is a long, tan penis!

 

The movie narrator says, "And along the BUTT crack you travel. Thlowly and Thurely. Be careful, you don't want to mithhh it. Press against the crevathe ... "

 

WE BOLT!

 

Slipping out of that room, we find Munich leaning against the wall. The door across from us reads, "Special Ops: Probing." We all look at each other and shake our heads. The sergeant shrugs and motions further down the hall. The door on the left reads, "Special Ops: Extraction." Again, we look at each other and vigorously shake our heads. The final door reads "Advanced Training." From inside, we hear grunts and groans, and manly whimpers.

 

WE BOLT!!

 

The sergeant jogs after us, joining us outside the building. "What wath that all about?" he asks. "I thought you wanted to thee what Brimthtone went through."

 

I nod, "Oh, we do. It's just a little more horrific than we thought ... no wonder he's psychopathic ... "

 

"Yeth," the sergeant replies. "We do put our boyth through thome difficult training, here." He holds up a finger, then beckons the trio. "I have a thurprith for you."

 

Oh, scampers off toward the Administration building, skipping like a school girl. We look between each other, then at the camera. I shrug and we follow. I talk again to the camera, "Well. We've certainly learned a lot more about Brimstone's past than I'm sure he'd care to tell anyone. We are certainly glad that he attacked three straw dummies two nights ago, and not the real us!!"

 

We enter the Admin. building, and waiting there is a corporal. He stands and gives a faggish salute. The sergeant nods, "Well, that'th all I can give you. I hope you enjoyed your thay. Come back again." He glances at Munich and Jamie, eyeing them up. "Ethpethially you two."

 

They visibly blanch as soon as the sergeant turns and sashays into his office. The corporal smiles and looks between us. He begins talking right away. "My name'th Nathanial. I wath Brimthone'th f--- buddy. We are all athigned f--- buddies when we join. Brimthone wath tho good!"

 

We blink and continue to listen as Nathanial relates to us of Brimstone's private days in the OTHER military. He continues, "Man, with him ath a buddy, I wath alwayth mithfiring! I just couldn't reload fatht enough. He wath jutht tho prethithe. And thorough. I'm glad for him, that he'th playing around with all the boyth in that wrethling league. Well, I gotta go back to my Advanthed training. Nithe talking!"

 

He salutes his faggish salute and whisks himself away. We take a look around, at the pink carpets and purple walls. And run. We run to the purple helipad among the pink base, and take off as soon as we can. Once we're in the sky, I look back at the camera.

 

"Reporting from Camp Bootay, this has been Jamie Bjork, Munich, and Mistress Sarah. Don't be fooled by the military!! Good night."

 

OOC: Yes, this did happen. <e.g.>

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

Let it be known... I take no responsibility for that.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

a classic set of promos