PROMO: Little League Assassins!

[Guest vitriol]

And so, as we fade in from teal, we are taken right back to the last time we saw Tryst in an Es Jay El promotional effort...New Age Sherwood! But this time, it’s a little bit different. The trees and bushes have not changed a bit, but Tryst has changed some things around, building a tree house in the middle of a few of the bigger trees. It appears that nobody is around again, and that Tristan Whitt is doing some sort of bizarre things. As the camera pans up, we watch as he shoots an arrow up into a higher tree and leaps off of the tree house as he does so, landing on the ground...but twisting his ankle as he does so!

 

“OWW! Heeeeeeeellllp!!!”

 

He jumps up onto one foot, spins in a circle, and then falls onto his back.

 

“Stillwell! Help me!”

 

Nobody comes, nor answers.

 

“STILLLLLLLWEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!”

 

Out of the distance, we hear the faint murmuring of a man.

 

“For the love of God....”

 

A man comes walking out of the distance, slowly getting closer to the downed hero. The man wears a tattered police uniform, and he is fairly dirty from being out in the forest for so long. He comes walking up to Tristan and looks down on him with an apathetic expression upon his face, and seems as if he’s about ready to start kicking.

 

“Stillwell! Where have you been, my good fellow? I am in need of assistance.”

 

“...my name isn’t ‘Stillwell’...it’s Jeff.”

 

Tristan rolls his eyes.

 

“We’ve been over this! Your name WAS Jeff, but I have purged you of your evilness! Jeff is an evil name, handed down to you by the Sheriff. And we shall have our vengeance on him, don’t you worry!”

 

Stillwell sighs and reaches down his hand to Tristan, who reaches up with his hand and is pulled up to his feet. He pats Stillwell on the back, and a cloud of dust begins to rise off of his clothing.

 

“My Lord! Stillwell, you’re filthy! Go wash yourself in the basin!”

 

Tryst points out his finger towards the north, and the camera pans to the side. The forest stretches out for a few hundred feet, but it ends as it fades into a courtyard type area, with a few benches in various places...and a giant 20 foot wide fountain in the center. The water rushes up the pipes in the middle and spurts out at the top, spraying out in all directions. And it is now, after a few seconds, that we get the delayed reaction that we expect from young Stillwell.

 

“Are you crazy? That’s a fountain, not a bath tub!”

 

The camera cuts back to Tristan, who has a disdainful expression on his face. He looks at Stillwell, and says...

 

“Stillwell, this is no time for one of your jokes. You need to cleanse yourself. Or perhaps you might like to fester in your own filth, like the creatures of the dark?”

 

He senses that he cannot win this discussion, and so he begins to walk with his comrade towards the fountain. As they approach it, Tristan begins to see people in the distance, moving through the area. There are some people sitting on the benches...reading a book, talking to another person, kissing, whatever. He also notices some people rollerblading through the area. He begins to get suspicious of their method of movement, and he begins to query his friend Stillwell about it.

 

“Do you see that? It’s miraculous! Those men have wheels for feet!”

 

“No, Tristan...they don’t have wheels for feet. They’re wearing rollerblades.”

 

“Roller...blades?”

 

“Hmm....well, they’re like shoes with wheels on them.”

 

Tristan stops, and thinks about it for a moment.

 

“Hmm...yes. I can see how that would work. He must have miniature carriages strapped to his feet. How very odd.”

 

Stillwell mentions something under his breath about the irony of Tristan calling someone odd, but it goes unnoticed as they continue their trek to the fountain. The people begin to look at the men as they reach the fountain, and they really begin to gawk as Stillwell and Tryst begin to argue about whether or not he can bathe in there. Suddenly, a baseball comes flying out of nowhere, headed straight for Stillwell’s head.

 

“Stillwell! Assassins!”

 

Tristan ducks down and pushes Stillwell into the fountain as the baseball cuts a hole in the air where his head would have been. Tristan immediately looks to his left to find the assassins, and sees some kids walking towards him. One of them has a bat.

 

“Fiends! You will pay for your treachery!”

 

Tristan gets to his feet as the children respond.

 

“Hey, we’re sorry about that, Steven hits kinda hard. Are you guys okay?”

 

Tristan puts his hand on the hilt of his sword as the children approach, but they stop when he does so. He looks at them as he squints a bit, eyeing the bat.

 

“What sort of weapon is that? I’ve never seen a sword like it.”

 

“Uh...it isn’t a sword, Mister, it’s a baseball bat. Here, look!”

 

The child begins to extend the bat towards Tristan, but he won’t have it. He screams out “fiend!” at the top of his lungs and draws his sword, reaching it high into the air as he continues to scream! The children shriek in horror, dropping their bats and gloves and whatnot, and simply running. Tryst follows right after them sword raised as he charges forward to defeat his nemesis’. They fade into the distance, and he fades into the distance not long after....as we fade to black.

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

...This guy is in the JL?

[Guest Aecas]

Very nice Tryst

 

I like it a lot

[Guest TheBostonStrangler]

Any promo that involves a grown man chasing after small children with a sword raised gets a big (Y)(Y) in my book.

[Guest Crowe]

...

 

Bahahahaha!

 

This guy is hilarious.

[Guest vitriol]

COMMENT YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

You didn't write a match, so no comments!

 

OH DISS!

 

OH SCHNAP!

 

(pssst it was quality + hilarious psst)

 

OH SCHNAP!

[Guest fosta]

I've read my share of 5000+ word roleplays that involve one or more of the following;

 

Driving fast cars

Having sex with Blonde Women

Acting like a stereotypical black criminal

Using illegal drugs, but not actually knowing how to smoke/inject/swallow/prepare them

 

This is a very, very nice change. I find myself looking forward to the next, which is odd as I have e-fed ADD, and can't usually concentrate long enough to read an entire roleplay.

[Guest Freakish_Twist_Of_Fate]

...

 

You are a bizarre motherfucker...

 

(Y)

 

Nice promo.