Promo: The new beginning

[Guest Death by Numbers]

Through the hell’s fire of what are right and what’s wrong. The eternal battle between good and evil, innocence and guilty, walks one man, one myth, one urban legend. Collecting souls of the perpetual quiet and long deep sleep. Undistracted by the sinners and the preachers, the warriors and the weaklings. His mind was there for the assassination of Lincoln, his mind was there for the assassination of Kennedy, and he was physically there for the tragedy of 9-11. Seeing the inhuman brutal sequence of murder, tragic death, and suicidal accomplishments, he was there, first. Collecting souls from wars of the Civil, the British, and World 1 and 2. As he walks through the valley of what he created, the heat intolerable and the cold, unbearable. Shows no emotion, the joy of collecting, the agony of not, nothing. He continues to walk the path, narrow or wide as he collects souls from the rich, the poor, the healthy, and the sick. Many people say they faced him, eye to eye. Lies they say, because he has no face, has no soul but the ones that he collects.

 

He knew when and where death was going to occur, prophecies per say. The 16th leader of a great nation life taken away against his will. Another great leader of the same nation assassinated by more than one being. Two giant flying iron eagles crashing into two identical statues that identify the great city or York, causing a catastrophic event that will forever touch the heart of every human being. He was there, now as he walks through the city of sin, the city that never sleeps, and the city of politics, he stops collecting any soul as he now has a face and a body. He stands alone quiet…his physical body will now take the place of his faceless mind. Now he will have to take the souls physically, he continues to walk, new face, new body, new identity, but same mind.

 

He walks pass the dying, physically and mentally. Steps over the dead focusing on one thing…he has now a new name but still feels the same way. Taking people’s soul was a quiet adventure, as he pledges to continue that streak, ‘Quiet Death’ is what he is now known. Walking away through gun battle, knife fights, and a prostitute going away with a politician, but yet he is still focus on one thing only. He stops, he looks up at the skyscraper. That’s not where he is supposed to go, he looks towards his left and sees a beautifully designed arena. On the main entrance, in big bold red letter, which caught his attention said “Smarks Fed”.

 

“I’m here”

 

The whispers to himself caused a cloud of smoke releasing from his mouth as he walks towards the door. He stops in front of the door seeing physical beings that he knows aren’t going to last long in life. He now has a new body, new face and name, but has to act differently. He opens the door into a new beginning and steps through.

 

End

[Guest kelloggs]

I like this guy

[Guest fosta]

I don't. I'm scared... stay away from my soul you bastard!

[Guest Death by Numbers]

I was hoping I would get some more feedback. I want to see what I lack and what I do well. Please, any opinions will be grateful.

 

DBN

[Guest realitycheck]

Well, I'm scared.

 

Stylish, stylish, stylish, albeit a bit wordy, but still. This is the ideal debut promo: Short, to the point, sets the tone for a character, explains to some detail why he's here and what he's trying to accomplish.

 

Honestly, that might be my only real complaint. All those points were left a little too murky, perhaps a bit more than you intended. But hell, you no-doubt intend to expand on that, and I'll be watching very closely... good stuff.

 

Lord, all these really talented new guys. DBN... I wouldn't be wrong if I ventured a guess you've done this before, would I?

 

-Z

[Guest Crowe]

Hmm...

 

I think we have another smoker who can write good. I like it.

 

Stylish stuff, it was an interesting read and I look forward to reading a match of yours.

[Guest Death by Numbers]

To be honest, I've read a lot of matches in this fed. In the JL, WF, and it caught my attention. I wanted to come in earlier, but as usual, life detained me from it.

 

I am here now, and I'm just trying to be as talented or as good as anybody in the fed.

 

I've been reading this federation for about 6 months, and people like ELM, Frost, including yourself Crowe have always caught my attention which cause me to WANT to join.

 

No doubt it will not be an easy fete, but the challenge drives me.

 

I'm glad I got accepted, and I hope I can be a quality performer for this fed.

 

Thank you

 

DBN

[Guest Powerplay]

To be honest, I've read a lot of matches in this fed. In the JL, WF, and it caught my attention. I wanted to come in earlier, but as usual, life detained me from it.

 

I am here now, and I'm just trying to be as talented or as good as anybody in the fed.

 

I've been reading this federation for about 6 months, and people like ELM, Frost, including yourself Crowe have always caught my attention which cause me to WANT to join.

 

No doubt it will not be an easy fete, but the challenge drives me.

 

I'm glad I got accepted, and I hope I can be a quality performer for this fed.

 

Thank you

 

DBN

Well, on your promo, it certainly is one of the darkest things I've read around here. Like what's been said before, it's very stylish and to the point. Damn it, you guys taking away what little legacy I had with my first promo. Now everyone cuts something that is kick ass and deep.

 

6 months? Wow. Then again Zed(RealtyCheck) has you beat easily. I think he lurked something like two years?

 

But, to say the least, I wish you tons of luck. Continue to read other people's stuff, because it's the best way to improve on your own style.

[Guest realitycheck]

[sulky]Goddamn it, it was a year and a quarter, Mental.[/sulky]

 

-Z