Guest Fook_Hing_Ho Posted March 7, 2003 Report Posted March 7, 2003 "You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel." "There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighbourhood. Oh, look at that one!" "Homer! There's a man here who can help you stop the train!" "Batman?" "No. He's a scientist." "Batman's a scientist." "It's not Batman!"
Guest crandamaniac Posted March 7, 2003 Report Posted March 7, 2003 In the episode where Mr. Burns is trying to improve his public image. Homer and Mr. Burns are throwing down coins to people on the street. One hits Lenny. Lenny: Get it out! Get it out! *Carl pulls it out* Lenny: Put it Back in! Put it Back in! *lady walks by* Lenny: Hello Madam! *Pulls out coin, blood spurts* Carl: Maybe you should get that checked. ----------------------------------- Homer: Black people have names Like Carl, while White People are named Lenny.
Guest Texas Small Arms 09 Posted March 7, 2003 Report Posted March 7, 2003 I still love this one and use it from time to time Homer: I am so smart, I am so smart S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T!
Guest notJames Posted March 7, 2003 Report Posted March 7, 2003 From Marge vs The Monorail Marge:Homer there's a family of possum's living in there. Homer:I call the big one Bitey. Homer:Do you wanna change your name to Homer, Jr. Than all the kids can call you HoJu. Homer: You see son the trick of getting out of jury duty, is to say your racist against everybody. Homer: "Heh heh… mule." (I can't wait for all the seasons to come out on DVD.)
Guest Mole Posted March 8, 2003 Report Posted March 8, 2003 I don't know what episode this is from but: Homer:I'm not easly amused...hey look a blue car. That always gets me rolling.
Guest jm29195 Posted March 8, 2003 Report Posted March 8, 2003 What about in the episode where Marge is afraid of flying, the whole scene with 'guy incognito' up to where Homer walks up to him... Homer:Oh my god, my exact body double..... OH MY GOD a dog with a puffy tail, here puff, here puff He runs off chasing the dog... Hilarious
cawthon777 Posted March 8, 2003 Report Posted March 8, 2003 Bart looking at an assortment of name keychains. "Bort? Who would name their child Bort?" ... walks off Another kid walks up ... "Mom, look!" "Come now, Bort, we have to go!"
cawthon777 Posted March 8, 2003 Report Posted March 8, 2003 I still love this one and use it from time to time Homer: I am so smart, I am so smart S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T! That's gold. I use that a lot myself.
Guest EricMM Posted March 10, 2003 Report Posted March 10, 2003 "Tis a fine barn, but is no pool, English" D'ohith!
Guest crandamaniac Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 Bart looking at an assortment of name keychains. "Bort? Who would name their child Bort?" ... walks off Another kid walks up ... "Mom, look!" "Come now, Bort, we have to go!" There's a scene after that where Marge is being taken by security. Over the PA you hear We've ran out of Bort license plates, Repeat, we have ran out of Bort License Plates! ------------------------------------ What did Homer say to Flanders when he was trying to make him mad in that one episode?
Guest crandamaniac Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 I don't know what episode this is from but: Homer:I'm not easly amused...hey look a blue car. That always gets me rolling. Here's one like that one, from the movementarian episode Homer: Wait, I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up? Glen: What are you talking about? There is nothing like that in there! Homer: Oh, you see when I get bored I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span. Jane: But our point is very simple. You see, when-- Homer: Oh, look! A bird! [runs out of the room, laughing, and chases a bird.]
Guest Renegade Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 "Do we have to?" "No" "Then kiss my curvy BUTT, goooodbye" *Homer starts to chase squirrels* --- "Homer no function beer well without" --- "Hold me" "Only if you hold me" *Wiggun and Homer hug* --- "Lousy Flanders, I wish I dead. Then Marge would come back and say "I wish we never went to the flanders". And I'll be laughing, laughing in my grave." --- "Give your putter a name" "Like what?" "I dunno, just give it a name" "Mr. Putter" "Would you like to try a little harder? Think of girls name." "...Mom"
Guest notJames Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 What did Homer say to Flanders when he was trying to make him mad in that one episode? If you're talking about the Hurricane Neddy episode where we find out Ned grew up as a violent child: Homer: Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others. Ned: Well howdy, Homer! [partition slides up] Ooh, thanks for dropping by! Dr. Foster: Hmm. He's not responding. [into microphone] Proceed to level 2 antagonism. [slides down partition] Homer: Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. Ned: Oh, well, I'll just have to try harder. Heh heh. [partition slides up] Ooh! Thanks for dropping by! Foster: Ah, he's still repressing. [into microphone] Maximum hostility factor. [slide down partition] Homer: I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh?
Guest crandamaniac Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 That's what I'm looking for. Thanx notJames
Guest Crazy Dan Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 Homer - And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! --Homer Simpson Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is. --Homer Simpson Yes, honey...Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle. --Homer Simpson
Guest Crazy Dan Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 And my favorite Simpson's song is: Homer: Around the house, I never lift a finger/ As a husband and father I'm sub-par/ I'd rather drink a beer/ than win Father of the Year/ I'm happy with things the way they are Lisa: I'm getting used to never getting noticed. Bart: I'm stuck here till I can steal a car. Marge: The house is still a mess, and I'm going bald from stress -- Bart/Lisa/Marge: But we're happy with things the way they are! Flanders: They're not perfect, but the Lord says love thy neighbor- Homer: Shut up Flanders Flanders: Okely-dokely-do Shary: Don't think it's sour grapes but you are all a bunch of apes/ And so I must be leaving you! And of course this ends with Sherry Bobbins flying into the sunset and getting choped up in a airplane... great ending, if a little twisted
Guest Redhawk Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 Mo: The government wants to shut down my bar because the pipes in the bathroom don't lead nowhere. ============================================= (When Lisa's arch-rival's dad was playing that anagrams game) Dad: Ok, Lisa, your turn. Jeremy Irons. Lisa: Um....Jer-e-my...Irons. Dad: Oh! Look what I have. I have a ball. Would you like to bounce it? ============================================== When Homer was leading the union, and ran in circles on the ground in Mr. Burns' office. ============================================= (When the fish had like 3 eyes and stuff) Mr. Burns: Smithers, did my plant cause this? Smithers: There's no doubt about it, sir. Burns (sniffling): Excellent. ========================================= Burns: Homer Simpson doesn't say "P'oh" he says....(flips pages)..."D'oh"
Guest MaxPower27 Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 (When the fish had like 3 eyes and stuff) Mr. Burns: Smithers, did my plant cause this? Smithers: There's no doubt about it, sir. Burns (sniffling): Excellent. A bit off. The episode you're thinking of: KidZ NewZ: Bart: Some people think that the ducks flew south. Others think that the ducks died. Some others think that the ducks moved to that pond over there. Mr Burns: Smithers, is it possible that my plant killed those ducks? Smithers: There's no question about it sir Mr Burns (sniffling): Excellent Also from that eps. Lisa: They want sap? I'll pump 'em so full of sap they'll be blowing their nose with a pancake!
Guest notJames Posted March 12, 2003 Report Posted March 12, 2003 (When Lisa's arch-rival's dad was playing that anagrams game) Dad: Ok, Lisa, your turn. Jeremy Irons. Lisa: Um....Jer-e-my...Irons. Dad: Oh! Look what I have. I have a ball. Would you like to bounce it? Actually, Lisa says "Jeremy's… iron". See, the joke is… um, nevermind.
NYU Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 I forgot the exact lines, but it was at the end of an episode with that special Ned Flanders short. Chorus: And everyone loves Ned Flanders ! Homer: Not me ! Chorus: Anyone who matters loves Ned Flanders ! ---------------------------(cut to scene) Ned: Okay Rodd, Todd, time to get ready for church. Todd: We're not going to church today, daddy. Ned: What ?! Give me one good reason why not ! Rodd: It's Saturday ! Ned: Ha ha, okily-dokily-do ! ---------------------------------- Chorus: And everyone loves Ned Flanders ! Fox 5 hasn't played that episode in so long ! I'm dying to see that little skit again.
Guest JMA Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 "Homer! There's a man here who can help you stop the train!" "Batman?" "No. He's a scientist." "Batman's a scientist." "It's not Batman!" Ditto for me. I also like this one: "What's your religion?" "You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life. Christianity."
Guest JDMattitudeV1 Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Homer : Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. Lionel Hutz: Oh no, we drew Judge Jefferson. Marge: Is that bad? Lionel Hutz: Well he's kinda had it in for me ever since I ran over his dog once. Just replace the word once with repeatedly and the word dog with son. Mr Burns: (looks at medical questionaire) Cause of parents death? Got in my way.
Guest Vyce Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Fox never airs the older episodes. Shameful. There are so many great moments I can't possibly list them all. For whatever reason, this is a favorite: It's the episode where Homer & Marge go see a comedy psychic, who unlocks a repressed memory from Homer's past - the day he found the dead body of Smithers' father. The line I like comes when the Simpsons are traveling up the drainage pipe leading to Burns' "corpse hatch", and as they're wading through the ankle-deep muck, a dead rat floats by. Homer: NOW do you believe dead rats float, Lisa? Lisa (in small, frightened voice): Yes! And this isn't so much a great bit of dialogue, so much as a markout moment: they were airing an episode tonight on Fox where Homer was going to be executed in the electric chair.....and one of the witnesses was that goddamn screaming caterpillar!
Guest T®ITEC Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Vyce: The episode where Homer was to be executed was actually the same episode with the screamapillar. I *love* that damn little bug.
Guest El Satanico Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 From the parody of The Shining on one of the Halloween episodes... Homer: "All work and no beer makes Homer...something...something" Marge: "Go crazy?" Homer: "Dooon't mind if i dooo" From the Perfect Bowling game episode Homer: "I'm like Jesus" Marge: "Homer! Did you just compare yourself to OUR lord?" Homer: "Well...in bowling ability"
Guest T®ITEC Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 One line I always marked for, but I don't remember what episode it's from: "Wow, I'm really making record time! ...If only I had someplace to be." --Lenny That's philosophical, man. That's life.
Guest Vyce Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 Vyce: The episode where Homer was to be executed was actually the same episode with the screamapillar. I *love* that damn little bug. Ah, that explains it. My mistake was a combination of a) not remembering the ending of the screamapillar ending and b) turning on the TV tonight for that particular episode when it only had 5 minutes left. Thanks for pointing it out, though. The screamapillar is a fave of mine.
Guest crandamaniac Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 One line I always marked for, but I don't remember what episode it's from: "Wow, I'm really making record time! ...If only I had someplace to be." --Lenny That's philosophical, man. That's life. I know it's something to do with yellow lights, but I can't remember either
Guest notJames Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 I forgot the exact lines, but it was at the end of an episode with that special Ned Flanders short. Chorus: And everyone loves Ned Flanders ! Homer: Not me ! Chorus: Anyone who matters loves Ned Flanders ! ---------------------------(cut to scene) Ned: Okay Rodd, Todd, time to get ready for church. Todd: We're not going to church today, daddy. Ned: What ?! Give me one good reason why not ! Rodd: It's Saturday ! Ned: Ha ha, okily-dokily-do ! ---------------------------------- Chorus: And everyone loves Ned Flanders ! Fox 5 hasn't played that episode in so long ! I'm dying to see that little skit again. That would be The Front, where Bart and Lisa write an award winning Itchy & Scratchy cartoon in Grampa Simpson's name.
Guest T®ITEC Posted March 17, 2003 Report Posted March 17, 2003 One line I always marked for, but I don't remember what episode it's from: "Wow, I'm really making record time! ...If only I had someplace to be." --Lenny That's philosophical, man. That's life. I know it's something to do with yellow lights, but I can't remember either It was the damn MENSA episode! Yeah, They Saved Lisa's Brain, that's it... "C'mon, stay yellow, stay yellow! Man, I'm making record time! ...If only I had some place to be."
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