Sjl metal - tuesday, march 19th

March 19, 2002

Nothing fancy happens because I've got class in 15 minutes!

And, uh, if anyone knows why the title of the post won't let me use more than one capital letter, tell me in a PM...

Your card!

SJL Metal, Tuesday March 19th

Arena: The Superdome, Sydney, Australia!

Singles Match - Send to Zero_Cool

"Deathwish" Danny Williams vs. Cutthroat

- Both men are yet to pick up a win in the SJL as of yet. This is about to change though. Fight!

- Word Limit: 3000

Tables Match - Send to Edwin MacPhisto

"The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs. Z

- Two very impressive newbies. So impressive, that get to fight each other in a tables match! Muaha! To win, you must put your opponent through a table. Have fun. Wah.

- Word Limit: 4000

No DQ Match - Send to HVilleThugg

Ced Ordonez vs. Kojack

- Kojack has been in Ced's face over the last week. I'm sure Ced will find the chance to beat Kojack around with a chair great stress relief.

- Word Limit: 4000

Singles Match - Send to Zero_Cool

Mike Van Siclen vs. The Dark Reaper

- Erm... I'm running really low on descriptions these days.

- Word Limit: 4000

MAIN EVENT

The Last EVER Tag/Stables Title Match - Send to Suicide King

XF9 (Erek Taylor/Low Brass/Ash Ketchum) © vs. The Clan (K-Os/Lady Red/Shawn Brody)

- Due to the almost non existent interesting in the tag/stables titles, they are to be retired after this match. This also happens to be a nice little warm up for the tourney finals on Crimson. The brackets are subject to change. Yes Low Brass, I know you can't be booked for Metals but you have teammates. Anyway, onto match rules. One person per team in the ring at a time. Tag format. The winner becomes the last ever tag/stables champions. Good luck.

- Word Limit: 7000

March 19, 2002

The SJL Metal Logo appears, the theme music plays, some cheap fireworks goes off, as the camera spins around the arena showing the cheering fans. After about a minute of this nonsense, the camera cuts to the announce table.

Axis: Welcome wrestling fans, to SJL Metal were coming to you live on tape delay from The Superdome in Sydney, Australia!

Edwin: Finally our last show on this god forsaken island.

Axis(annoyed): Australia is a continent.

Edwin: Hey, don’t you try to mess with my head. I know my geography. If its surrounded by water, its in island.

Axis(more annoyed): Anyway, We have a great show booked tonight, and were kicking off the action tonight with Cutthroat taking on “Deathwish” Danny Williams.

Edwin: Both men are coming off disappointing losses last week, and are looking for a win here tonight. They are hungry, desperate, and out for blood.

Axis: Yes, they both really want to win. But you have to wonder about the mental state of Danny Williams. He is a ticking time bomb, just waiting to explode.

Edwin: You could tell that by that freaky shirt burning promo. What was that all about.

Axis: He has had problems in the past, and overcame a lot to be here. Flesher spoiled his return to the ring, with a metaphor for the cause of his untimely exit a year ago. As if the use of a beermug was intentional somehow to get into his head.

Edwin: You mean bust open his head. But of course he intentionally hit him in the head with the beermug. You think it was an accident?

Axis: I’am speaking on a much deeper level here. I mean the use of a beermug was intentional, to somehow remind Williams of his troubled past.

Edwin: I think you are way over analyzing this. Look, Funyon’s ready with the introductions.

(camera cuts to Funyon standing in the ring)

Funyon: Introducing first, weighing in at 243 lbs, he hails from Greenwich, Connecticut, he is Cutthroatttttt!

(There is an instantaneous blackout with a electric sound and a pause. Then...a huge explosion fills the stage with enchanting light and the lights come back on and Cutthroat come out as "Dirty Day" by U2 fills up the arena, coming out of the sound system. Cutthroat flips into the ring, jumps up onto the second rope with his arms up in the air. Then he tosses his orange unbuttoned shirt with a dragon design onto the turnbuckle and throws his sleek sun glasses into the crowd.)

Funyon: And now his oppenent, weighing in at 235lbs, he hails from Louisville, Kentucky, his is “Deathwish” Danny Williamsssss!

(The heavy grinding grooves of Dillinger Escape Plans "Calculating Infinity" blasts over the loud speakers. The Smarktron simply says Deathwish in white letters and follows that with highlights of Dannys Indie and New Japan Matches. Danny comes out on to the platform. He simply looks around, and shakes his head to a mix chorus of boos and cheers. He walks to the ring with a focused, no nonsense look on his face. He gets in the ring and just warms up.)

Funyon: Our official tonight, Matthew Kivell.

(Funyon leaves the ring.)

Axis: This should be an interesting matchup. The larger man, Cutthroat, is actually more of a speed based high flyer. While the smaller man, Danny Williams, is more of a power based mat wrestler.

Edwin: Cutthroat is one of the fastest big men in the SJL. He is one of the fastest big men, anywhere period. But Danny Williams just has to much skill and power if you ask me.

Axis: Well, were about to find out as the ref calls for the bell.

DING, DING, DING.( Both men circle each other in the middle of the ring. They quickly lock up in a grapple. Deathwish powers Cutthroat into a corner. Referee Kivell steps in and breaks them up. Deathwish surprises Cutthroat with an insulting slap to the face. Deathwish smirks as a chorus of boos echoes through the arena.

Axis: A much more aggressive Danny Williams tonight.

Edwin: I like his attitude, it looks like were gonna see a fight tonight.

His smirk doesn’t last long, as Cutthroat responds with a slap of his own. The crowd applauds as Deathwish holds his stinging face in shock. His shock quickly turns to rage, as he gives Cutthroat an even harder slap. Cutthroat rubs his face, and smiles at Deathwish, before he quickly shoots out of the corner with a vicious Slice Punch cracking Deathwish on his jaw. The impact knocks Deathwish on his ass. Cutthroat celebrates as the crowd cheers on. Rather than capitalize he taunts Deathwish, telling him to “Get up!” Kivell warns him for the closed fist punch. Deathwish calmly gets up, holding his chin. He doesn’t seem shaken at all. Cutthroat takes notice, and quits playing the crowd. )

Axis: Both men are playing mind games, in the early moments.

Edwin: You call it mind games. I call it a bitchslap contest, and Cutthroat cheated.

(The two men circle each other once more, as the crowd chants “Cutthroat, Cutthroat, Cutthroat”. They lock up, Deathwish gains the advantage with a side headlock. Cutthroat walks him to the ropes, and shoots him off. Deathwish grabs on to Cutthroat’s arm, reversing the Irishwhip. Cutthroat comes off the ropes, and is scooped up into the tombstone position. Cutthroat kicks his legs violently and escapes Deathwish’s hold. Both men stand face to face. Deathwish holds his pointing finger and thumb together in Cutthroat’s face, motioning “you came that close”. Cutthroat just shakes his head at him.)

Edwin: WHOA! Cutthroat is lucky Deathwish showed mercy and let him out of that tombstone.

Axis: No he didn’t. Cutthroat escaped the hold himself. Give the man some credit.

Edwin: Your so biased, Axis. I give Deathwish all the credit he deserves for sparing poor Cutthroat’s life.

(Controlling their tempers, they tie up again. Deathwish, again comes out with a side headlock. He applies pressure, as Cutthroat lets out a scream. Frustrated, Cutthroat delivers two quick elbows to Deatwish’s gut. Deathwish spins out of the side headlock, in favor of a hammerlock. He smiles, thinking he outsmarted Cutthroat. Cutthroat proves him wrong, giving him two elbows to the face. Deathwish has enough of this, and floors Cutthroat with a drop toe hold. Cutthroat tries to escape, but Deathwish traps him with a leg grapevine. Deathwish drops back locking on an inverted STF. Straining to hold the move, Deathwish screams at Kivell, “Ask Him”. Kivell knells and asks Cutthroat “Do you give?” Cutthroat fighting the pain, yells “No!”. Cutthroat reaches out with his arms in search of the ropes. He realizes he is to far away, and there is no escape. In desperation, Cutthroat rakes Deathwish’s eyes right in front of Kivell.)

Edwin: Did you see that? He raked his eyes, DQ him ref.

Axis: Sportsman like or not, it got Deathwish to break the hold.

Edwin: This is an outrage, closed fist punching, and now eyerakes. Why is the match being allowed to continue?

Axis: Matthew Kivell is quite capable of making that decision himself. If Deathwish wanted a wrestling match, he shouldn’t have slapped Cutthroat in the face. He knows Cutthroat has a temper.

Edwin: Maybe this is some type of strategy by Deathwish, to lure Cutthroat into a more physical match?

Axis: Yes, but it may have worked to well. As Cutthroat takes control.

(Deathwish breaks the hold, rolls on his belly, and lies there holding his eyes and kicking. Cutthroat gets to his feet holding his neck. Kivell gives him a warning for the eye rake. Deathwish slowly gets up, winking his eyes, but is put back on the mat with a well timed Slice Kick from Cutthroat. The kick makes a loud smack against his jaw, drawing a “Oh” from the crowd. Cutthroat than climbs to the top turnbuckle with ease. Deathwish lays motionless on the mat. Flashes from cameras light the ring, as Cutthroat comes off the top with a beautiful Shooting Star Press! Cutthroat remains on Deathwish with the vertical press. Kivell counts.)

One....

Two...

Thr.......

(Kivell halts the count and points to Deathwish’s leg laying on the bottom rope.)

Axis: What an amazing display of athleticism from the big man. I thought for sure he had him, with just the first pin attempt of the night.

Edwin: Oh any snot nosed rookie can do that. Its nothing’s special at all.

(Cutthroat pulls the leg off the rope and hooks it. Kivell counts.)

One.....

Two.......

(Deathwish lifts his arm up, but it drops back lifelessly to the mat. Kivell pauses and counts again.)

One....

Two........

(Deathwish raises his shoulder, and keeps it up.)

Edwin: He should just give up. No fancy acrobats is gonna put a wrestler of Deathwish’s level down for the three.

(Cutthroat violently lifts Deathwish up and Irishwhips him into a corner. Deathwish just lays their dazed. Cutthroat charges him and drills him with the Slicer! The crowd gives a hudge pop. After taking the impact Deathwish falls face first into the mat. Cutthroat turns him over and covers. The crowd counts with Kivell.)

One....

Two.....

Thr...........

(Deathwish kicks out. The crowd gives a disappointed “Ahhhhh”.)

Axis: He came this close to putting him away.

Edwin: Nonsense, he is just playing possum, and waiting for Cutthroat to make a mistake.

(Cutthroat pulls up Deathwish and gives him a hard headbutt to the nose. Deathwish slumps back into the corner. Cutthroat points to him, as if to ask the crowd “do it again”. The crowd goes nuts with encouraging cheers. Cutthroat goes to the opposite corner. He charges full speed and gives the Slicer..........to the ring post! Deathwish spined out of the corner just in time.)

Edwin: OUCH! He hit hard. Why would he try to Slice the ring post. Hahahahaha! Seriously, I told you so.

Axis: Attempting the same move twice, against a harden veteran like Williams, is a big mistake indeed. This could play right into Williams hands and be an easy setup for the headlock chickenwing.

(Cutthroat hunches in the corner holding his left shoulder. Deathwish staggers around a bit, before realizing he has to capitalize on the mistake. He gives Cutthroat an armwrench and locks on a wristlock. He walks the grunting Cutthroat to the middle of the ring. He gives his tender arm another armwrench. Cutthroat grinds his teeth, from the intense pain. From the armwrench, Deathwish spins behind Cutthroat and slams him to the mat with a back suplex! The ring shakes from the impact.)

Axis: What a back drop suplex from Danny Williams.

Edwin: The ring is still shaking, if Williams goes for the pin he could 10.

( Deathwish doesn’t go for the pin, but immediately tries to lock on a cross armbreaker. Cutthroat lock’s hands with his good arm to prevent Deathwish from falling back. It doesn’t work as Deathwish just overpowers him, and falls back locking the submission hold. Deathwish isn’t even screaming for the ref to “ask him”. He just has a sick smile on his face, enjoying Cutthroat’s agonizing screams.)

Axis: No pin attempt, he just goes right back to work on that injured shoulder and arm.

Edwin: Williams is like a shark smelling blood, his attack tonight is relentless. More people should hit this guy with beermugs, if its gonna get this type of performance out of him.

(Thinking he has done enough damage, Deathwish releases the hold but still grips Cutthroat’s arm. He holds the arm down flat on the mat. He lifts his legs high in the air, almost doing a hand stand. Deathwish comes down driving the knee into the arm. Cutthroat screams, as the knee connects. Deathwish drives the knee into the arm, again. Deathwish keeps going, driving about 10 knees to Cutthroat’s arm. Cutthroat screams as if, each knee is going to break his arm off. Deathwish locks on a kneeling armbar. He drives a couple knees into the injured shoulder. Cutthroat somehow finds the strength to push them back up to the vertical position. But things gets only worse as, Deathwish delivers a snapping armbreaker. Cutthroat closes his eyes and grinds his teeth, as he knows another one his coming. Deathwish doesn’t disappoint and gives him another crunching armbreaker. Deathwish pulls the injured arm behind Cutthroat’s back and locks on the Headlock Chickenwing! )

Edwin: This is it, its all over with folks. Go take your bathroom break.

Axis: If he can take him to the mat, and trap him with a body scissors, you could very well be right.

(The crowd explodes with excitement. Cutthroat fights with his last ounce of strength for the ropes. The crowd cheers Cutthroat’s heroic effort. He walks, shaking with each step, fighting the numbing pain in his arm and shoulder. Deathwish strains, trying to pull him back and down to the mat. Cutthroat stretches out his free arm. His fingertips glance the toprope. Deathwish yells “NO!”, as Cutthroat grips the rope with his free arm. Deathwish tries to pull him free, but Cutthroat locks his feet around the bottom rope. Kivell steps in and begins counting. Deathwish slowly releases the hold. Cutthroat holds his left shoulder, as his arm lifeless hangs to the ground. Deathwish smacks Cutthroat’s chest with a brutal knife edge chop. The crowd gives a “Whooo”. Deathwish gives him two more, and Irishwhips him into the ropes. Deathwish swings a clothesline, only to be ducked by the on coming Cutthroat. Cutthroat bounces off the ropes, and Deathwish turns around and eats a spinning heel kick to the mouth! )

Axis: What a heel kick. Can Cutthroat recover and take control of this match.

Edwin: No way. His left arm is virtually useless, of course he can’t comeback and win.

Axis: Regardless the outcome, I have a whole new respect for Cutthroat.

Edwin: Give me a break. My respect goes to the victor who took Cutthroat apart piece by piece tonight.

(The crowd cheers Cutthroat’s mounting comeback. Deathwish struggles to his feet, but Cutthroat drills him to the mat with a DDT! Cutthroat hooks the leg and covers. Kivell counts) One.....

Two.........

Thre..

(Deathwish wiggles a shoulder up. Cutthroat pulls him up and pushes him near a corner. He gives him a kick in the gut and locks on a front headlock. The crowd knows whats next and gives the loudest pop of the match. He runs his legs up the ropes executing the Final Cutter...........but Deathwish bends his back, reversing Cutthroat’s fall into a northern lights suplex pin! The crowd “boos” as Kivell counts)

One.....

Two.....

Thre.....

(Deathwish can’t hold, as the crowd cheers. )

Edwin: Yahoo, did you see that. He reversed the Final Cutter, into a..........suplex of some kind.

Axis: Northern lights suplex maybe?

Edwin: Don’t you start with the geography stuff again. This match is heating up.

(Deathwish is in shock and argues with Kivell. Cutthroat staggers up, Deathwish turns around and scoops him up for the tombstone. Cutthroat wiggles out and kicks Deathwish in the gut. Cutthroat again sets him for the Final Cutter. The crowd goes nuts.)

Axis: He’s gonna try it again. This kid has got guts.

Edwin: No! Deathwish, you were so close to getting your first SJL win.

( He runs his legs up the ropes, but Deathwish catches him with his right arm. Deathwish holds him in the air for several seconds, as the crowd’s cheers turn to heartbreaking “boos”. He than splats Cutthroat’s head on the mat with a stalling brainbuster! Deathwish lays on him with a effortless cover. Kivell counts)

One.....

Two......

(Deathwish lifts up Cutthroat and shakes his head. The crowd “boos” with disapproval. )

Edwin: What a nice guy Willliams is, giving Cutthroat a second chance.

Axis: Or to deliver more punishment to an already beaten man. This makes me sick.

Edwin: Don’t blame me, blame these idiot fans, for giving Cutthroat false confidence. Listening to them will you get you killed in this ring. Just be like Williams, and ignore them.

( Deathwish than scoops up Cutthroat’s lifeless body for the tombstone and walks to the center of the ring. After stalling he drills his head in the mat with the jumping tombstone! The crowd “boos” as Deathwish smirks and stands over the motionless Cutthroat. He than knells down and locks on the Headlock Chickenwing! He wraps his legs around his waist with the body scissors. The pain wakes Cutthroat up. He tries to inch his way to the ropes, but the pain is to great. He taps out, and Kivell calls for the bell. DING, DING, DING. The crowd erupts into a frenzy of “boos”.)

Edwin: Wow, all that heart and guts got him nowhere, Axis.

Axis: I have a lot of respect for Danny Williams as an athlete. He has a good reason to be angry, with the interference in his debut last week. But there was no point in continuing the abuse. Somebody has got to pay for what happened, but it wasn’t Cutthroat’s fault.

Edwin: Oh well at least it was violent and entertaining.

(Deathwish keeps the hold on, but Kivell convinces him to release it after a few seconds. Deathwish doesn’t celebrate he just climbs through the ropes and walks to the locker room. The crowd “boos” but he pays no attention. Cutthroat finally staggers to his feet shaking his head and holding his injured arm. The crowd gives him an applause as he walks to the locker room. The camera cuts to fans holding big paper purple letters spelling CUTTHROAT.)

March 19, 2002

The camera fades to a close-up shot of the new SJL TV title with the new Smarks logo at the top. The title glistens in the light as the camera pulls back showing more. The nameplate at the bottom is still that of the first man to hold this treasure since it was updated. The man, Shawn Brody...

Axis: “That is the Smarks Junior League Television Title. All now plates and logos since the crossover...”

The camera continues to slowly pull back and soon shows the title’s owner, clad in his black robe. Melissa can now be seen, held at the arm she isn’t struggling anymore and has seemed to give up the fight. The camera’s view widens enough so that Flesher is in view.

Axis: “Tom Flesher, a new name in the halls of the League and a very impressive one at that.”

Edwin: “You could even call him... Superior! ZING!”

Axis: “...”

Edwin: “...”

Axis: “Anyways, he’ll be facing the lucky Z tonight in a Tables match.”

Edwin: “I booked that match, Axis.”

Axis: “I know. I was just saying...”

Edwin: “Do you ...uh like my booking, Axis?”

Axis: “It’s okay. Why do you ask?”

Edwin: “I dunno. So do you really like it ...or are you just trying to be nice?”

Axis: “Edwin, I...”

Edwin: “Because if your just trying to be nice I can...”

Axis: “Edwin...”

Edwin: “I don’t need you padding the truth for me if that’s what your doing because...”

Axis: “I’m not, Edwin, now...”

Edwin: “I’ll be okay. I can handle the truth... no matter how much it hurts, Axis.”

Axis: “Edwin just chill...”

Edwin: “You know, I should get a ‘How’s my Booking?’ bumper sticker!”

Axis: “I think you just need to calm down there, Edwin. A little less coffee...”

Edwin: “Really? You think so? I don’t know... do I seem a bit uppity?”

Axis: “Yes.”

Edwin: “I don’t know, I don’t feeeeeeel uppity...”

Axis: “Well you are.”

Edwin: “Feel. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel. Feel.”

Axis: “Umm...”

Edwin: “Maybe ‘uppity’ isn’t a feeling, Axis, maybe it’s a ‘being’...”

Axis: “As in ‘you’re being uppity, Edwin?’”

Edwin: “Yes, Axis... wait, or no?”

Axis: “Uhh... you okay?”

Edwin: “I don’t know, maybe I need some fresh air... the walls...”

Axis: “They’re closing in?”

Edwin: “Yup.”

Edwin crawls under the commentary table as Axis shakes his head in shame.

Axis: “Well there you have it, the crap I put up with...”

Edwin: “I can still hear you, Axis.”

Axis: “No you can’t... and stop moving around under there.”

Edwin: “Sorry, it’s just a little cramped under here, that’s all.”

Axis: “No more talking from you.”

Shawn takes his free hand and pulls his hood down. One of his braids fall in front of his eyes and he brushes that back.

Shawn: “Maybe some of you are wondering why I helped Flesher. Why? It’s because I see potential in him. When I first came here I proved myself on every chance I had but was ignored until joining the Clan and showing the force that I truly am. Now I’m doing for Flesher what the Clan did for me.”

The camera turns to Flesher, ready as he locks eyes with the camera.

Flesher: “What an amazing ride this has been. I can't believe how great this is. I mean, first, the SJL's nice enough to give me a few warmup matches against the cream of the crap. Danny Williams? Tuneup. And tonight? Z? [Tom breaks out laughing, and can't stop for a moment or two. Finally, he wipes a tear from his eye and is able to calm down a bit.] As I was saying... oh, god, this is too great. [Tom starts laughing once again, but mercifully, he cuts it short this time.] Not only are they letting me tune up, but they're letting me practice my table-smashing skills on this glorified ragdoll. The fans have been so good to me, I just can't believe it. And now Shawn Brody, the reigning TV Champion and the man Melissa loves, SHAWN FREAKING BRODY decides he wants to buy a share in my success by helping me out early. This is amazing. Z? Man, you're not even worth worrying about when it's going this good.”

Shawn: “And now onto Mike Van Siclen... I’ve taken your title, I even talked your own friend and tag partner to split up with you and now I’ve taken your woman along with any strand of dignity you had. I have a question for you: What do you value more: this belt... or Melissa? I won’t make you choose just yet but the trial will surely come soon enough when I give you the chance to reclaim both of them. Right now, I hold all the cards. I have everything you want and you’ll do what I say if you are to get either of them back. You will face me... in a Stairway to #### Match!”

Cheers shake the arena as Brody points upward to the ceiling.

Shawn: “Suspended twenty feet above the ring there are coils of barbed wire that you can use in any way to win the match!”

Axis: “That is right. Barbed wire suspended twenty feet about the ring and only way to get it is with a ladder.”

Shawn: “So I’ll see you come Crimson if you value Melissa or this title.”

The picture fades out with Axis’ voice the last thing heard...

Axis: “So there we have it, Mike Van Siclen takes on the Fallen Angel for the SJL Television Title ...AND Melissa!”

March 19, 2002

[The cameras pan the crowd as SJL Metal returns from commercial. The chant of "Axis, Axis!" is going again, and Axis gruffly acknowledges the crowd as Edwin encourages them to chant louder and louder. Finally Edwin calms down as the camera zooms in on the announce table.]

Edwin: So, really, Axis, what do you think of my booking?

Axis: This looks to be an interesting match, with two rookies stepping up. We've got the talented "Superior One" Tom Flesher looking to prove his superiority against the...

Edwin: The tough as nails, no-selling spot machine, Z!

Axis: This is going to be a tables match. The winner, of course, is the first wrestler to put his opponent through a table. Edwin, do you think that Z's going to be strong enough to actually BREAK the table?

Edwin: Of course! Although it will be difficult, considering that these are high-quality tables constructed with lumber from Mr. Second, Second-Rate Lumber serving the greater Sydney area.

Axis: What on earth is wrong with you?

Edwin: Baby, if I'm wrong, I don't want to be right.

Axis: What the... Do you even... [sigh] Interestingly, Flesher's alliance with Shawn Brody won't come into play in this match. Shawn is in the back room, guarding Mike Van Siclen's girlfriend Melissa, so he won't be interfering in this match!

Edwin: Let's go to the ring!

[Funyon enters the ring, and Faith No More's "Epic" begins to play. Z enters slowly, wide-eyed. He's not entirely sure if he wants to go through with this. He slides under the ropes with no fanfare, and slinks into the corner.]

Funyon: From Trenton, New Jersey, and weighing in tonight at 229 pounds, Z!

Z gets a huge pop from the crowd, which degenerates into loud booing as the drumbeat of "The Gauntlet" starts to play over the PA. Complete with pyro explosions, Tom Flesher walks to the ring energetically, waving to the fans and just looking generally ecstatic. Flesher slides into the ring and drops to his knees with his arms in the air as the fans' boos get even louder. Eventually, the music is cut and the booing subsides.

Funyon: And his opponent, from Buffalo, New York, and weighing in at 213 pounds, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher!

Flesher sets his beer mug down in the corner and turns to wave at a throng of fans, none of whom are wearing a Tom Flesher t-shirt.

DING DING DING!!!!!!

Flesher doesn't notice the bell as he's too preoccupied pointing at his t-shirt while grinning stupidly at the fans. Z proceeds to take advantage of the diversion by charging him from behind and nailing several elbow strikes.

Axis: Z's opening the match up with a great deal of initiative, slamming his elbows into Flesher's back and neck.

Edwin: That's gotta hurt!

Flesher turns around, looking slightly irritated, and smacks Z crisply in the cheek with the back of his hand. Z grabs his cheek and lets out a girlish scream as Flesher turns back around. Z starts throwing elbows at Flesher again, and Flesher turns right back around, looking much like someone being pursued by a mosquito at a picnic.

Edwin: Look at Z, showing Flesher who's boss! He's not going to stand up to any crap in this match!

Flesher shoves Z backwards lightly. Z, perhaps too weak to stand up to the shove, perhaps just ridiculously overselling, stumbles backward and performs a full backward roll, finally crumbling into a heap in the corner.

Edwin: I'll tell you, this Z is one tough customer! He's going to give Flesher a run for his -

Axis: For God's sake, where's your sense of dignity?

Edwin: I sold it to buy this panda! This one, right here!

Flesher sighs heavily, clearly frustrated to be seen in the same ring as Z, and sulks over to the corner. He grabs Z by his camouflage coat and lifts him to his feet, only for Z to tie up and attempt to whip him into the opposite corner. Flesher looks at him disgustedly and nails him in the face with a palm strike before whipping him into the opposite corner. Flesher runs in and nails him with a running palm to the chest, knocking what little wind Z ever had straight out of him. Z stumbles forward out of the corner and flops straight down onto his face, at which point Flesher drops to one knee on Z's back and does a double biceps flex.

Edwin: Flesher, in an amazing display of luck, manages to -

Axis: Oh, for the love of god, grow up! Flesher's embarrassing Z! Z's straining to get up, and Flesher's just kneeling on him, posing for the crowd! Flesher stands up, and... OUCH, elbow drop across Z's neck!

Z rolls away from the action and slides out of the ring. Flesher slides out after him. Z sees this, and hightails it back into the ring. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Axis: Flesher's just chasing Z in and out of the ring! Z goes in and out, and finally Flesher stops outside. He turns around -

Edwin: My GOD! There's actually - I'm speechless.

Axis: He's talking to a woman who's wearing a Superior One t-shirt!

Z slides back into the ring and collapses in the middle, content for the moment that Flesher isn't pursuing him. He lays on his back, his chest heaving visibly, as Flesher chats up the girl in the front row. The camera's mic catches such snippets as, "Yup, I can drink anyone under the table," and "Why thanks, my hair DOES look great."

Z finally gets his second wind and slides out to the apron, where he mounts the second turnbuckle and dives off, nailing Flesher in the back with a double axehandle. Flesher stumbles forward into the guardrail, causing the fan to spill her beer all over her shirt.

Axis: I bet she's not happy about that!

Edwin: I know! Those beers are really expensive here, down under!

Axis: [visibly agitated] Are you insulting Australia?

Edwin: Zing! Zing! Zingzingzingzingzingzingzingzingzing!!!!!!!!

As Edwin continues to irritate Axis, Z rains elbow strikes down onto Flesher's neck. Z steps out to the side and executes a Russian leg sweep, bringing Flesher down on the side of his head.

Axis: Looks like Z caught a little bit of that one.

Edwin: A little bit? Z caught a lot of it! Look at him rolling around holding the back of his head! He looks like Lady Red after a Death Knell!

Flesher rolls over and shakes off the cobwebs as Z mutters, "Holy smurf! That hurts like a baglady!" Flesher looks down and sighs before booting Z in the chest. He drops an elbow across Z's chest and then rolls him over and applies a mounted choke.

Axis: Of course, since this is a tables match, that hold is legal. The referee can't disqualify either wrestler, so Flesher can choke away as long as he likes.

Edwin: Choke away? Long? *giggle*

Axis: Get your mind out of the gutter!

Edwin: What? I'm just thinking of the restaurant I was in last night!

Axis: Let me guess. You saw an old lady choking on a long strand of spaghetti.1163

Edwin: She wasn't old! She was actually quite young and buxom! And she had a panda t-shirt on!

Edwin sighs wistfully and melts into his chair as Flesher releases the choke. Impatiently, he kicks Z, who passed out from the choke moments ago, and then slides a table out from under the ring. Flesher shoves the table into the ring, slides in after it, and sets it up. All the while, the camera catches Z slyly watching with one eye open while still playing possum.

Axis: Well here's where we get into the human game of chess that is professional wrestling. Z has obviously faked Flesher out, although I'm not sure how he managed to make it through that mounted choke. What do you think, Edwin?

Edwin doesn't bother to respond, choosing rather to sigh happily once more and mutter something about spaghetti. Flesher, meanwhile, has set the table up in the ring and slid back out to pick Z up.

Axis: Flesher picks him up like a sack of potatoes, and just dumps him into the ring. I know he choked him out, but you'd think that Flesher would understand that Z's a tough customer. He's also unbelievably lucky.

Edwin: Lucky as a ducky, Z is. Lucky as a ducky named Chucky on a yucky mucky pond looking for a -

Axis: STOP IT!

Edwin: Crust of bread?

Axis sighs, clearly wanting to put Edwin through the announce table. Back in the ring, Flesher lays Z roughly on the table and climbs to the top rope.

Axis: We don't see Flesher come off the top much.

Edwin: Well, he's coming off now. Look at him.

True to Edwin's word, Flesher thinks better of it and climbs on top of the table itself. He grins, points to the crowd, and then points to himself. Slowly, letting each joint go through its full range of motion, Flesher kneels down and straddles Z's chest, still pointing to himself and smiling at the fans. After finally assuming the position on Z's torso, he does a double biceps flex. The crowd responds by booing him, and, as usual, Flesher looks thrilled.

Edwin: Listen to the crowd reaction! Flesher loves the crowd, and they're especially hot tonight for their hero.

Axis: Pardon me?

Edwin: The guy they're here to see!

Axis: You don't mean Flesher?

Edwin: What? Flesh- Tom Fle- *BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!* The crowd's hot for the master of flash and panache, the one and only Edwin MacPhisto!

Edwin stands up, turns around and starts to lead the crowd in an "ED-WIN, ED-WIN, ED-WIN" chant as Flesher continues posing up a storm in the ring, moving through various upper-body poses while still kneeling on Z. Flesher sells the chant as if it were his own, and Z remains still beneath him. Finally, Flesher gets to his feet and starts assuming a full-body "most muscular" pose. As he does...

Axis: Edwin, what's Z doing?

Edwin: Looks to me like he's rocking back and forth, Axey buddy.

Axis: Well I KNOW that. I mean why do you -

Axis is cut off mid-sentence as the table goes crashing onto its side. Flesher lands stiffly on his back and shoulders, his legs kicking straight up in the air before they crash to the mat leaving him motionless. Z, meanwhile, rolls over and lands almost harmlessly on his hands and knees. He looks around nervously before seeing Tom laying motionless on the mat, and then sprints over, obviously as excited as a schoolgirl drinking espresso. He takes both of Flesher's arms and wraps them behind Flesher's legs, then rolls Flesher through onto his knees. With Flesher wrapped securely around himself, Z sits down on his back and goes through the exact series of poses that Flesher just did on the table! The crowd cheers louder and louder for each pose, from the double biceps to the "raise the roof" to the throat slit. At the announce table, Edwin is giggling like a madman, and the camera catches a quick shot of his face, which is beet-red from all his laughing.

Edwin: Nelbina! Nelbina! Nelbi- *KIYAHAHAHAHAHA* Look at that!

Axis: [attempting to control his own laughter] Z executing one of the more... technically sound maneuvers of this contest, locking up his signature Nelbina submission on "The Superior One" Tom Flesher.

Edwin: He's no- bwahaha, he's looki- hahahaha, not very super- ohhhh, mercy me, Axis, I may need a mop over here!

Flesher starts to wriggle free. Z makes an exaggerated sighing motion, wipes his brow, and finally dusts his hands off before releasing him by stepping off and running under the bottom rope, ducking outside and sliding under the ring. Flesher jumps to his feet, obviously mad beyond belief at the embarrassment he just suffered, and storms out of the ring. He slides to the outside and looks under the ring, but can't find Z. He crawls halfway under as Z slides out the other side, climbs into the ring, runs across and dives over the rop tope to drop a knee on Flesher's back. Flesher's scream can be heard from under the ring as Z slides back into the ring.

Axis: What a display of ring awareness by Z! This kid's showing real balls, taking Flesher on and giving him such a hard time!

Edwin: I think Z's my new favorite wrestler! Well, aside from me. And that guy who says "Mothernature says this, Mothernature says that."

Axis: Z's setting that table back up!

Edwin: And Annie Eclectic... Sydney Sky... Mistress Sarah...

Z gets the table set up and then pulls it into the corner. He tips it onto its edge, the tall way, with its legs pointing toward the cornerpost. Z grabs the sides of the table, pulls it down over him and crouches in the corner behind it. Flesher slides out from under the ring, limps up to the apron and slides into the ring, still obviously mad as a hornet. He looks around briefly before the mental lightbulb comes on, and then takes a running charge at the table. Z peeks out the side, sees Flesher coming, and kicks his legs out, sending the table careening into Flesher.

Axis: Oh my GOD! Z's really impressing me tonight!

Edwin: Didn't I tell you he was going to give Flesher a run for his money?

Axis: Perhaps.

Edwin: That would mean that I was right, and you were....

Axis: [sighs heavily] Wishing I was in my hotel room.

The table lifts off the ground slightly, thanks to Z's coiled-up, springloaded position behind it, and it hits Flesher flush on the front. Stunned, Flesher stumbles back into the corner and the table bounces back, landing upright. Z charges in with a running elbow strike, which somehow manages to connect despite Z tripping on the way into the corner and losing his balance just before contact.

With Flesher stunned, Z sprints to the opposite corner and faces the crowd, once again looking as excited as can be at the prospect of getting some offense in. He bounds backwards into a wobbly handspring, bounces through and follows it up with a flying elbow strike to...

THE AIR!

Axis: It looks like Z didn't measure that one up properly, as he landed in center ring after that attempted handspring elbow. He's okay, folks, getting up and dusting himself off.

Edwin: I taught him everything he knows.

Axis: Oh, you did not! That's ridiculous!

Edwin: Hey, I didn't say I taught him everything I know!

Z is, of course, used to failing miserably, and charges to the opposite turnbuckle to pick up speed. This time, he doesn't attempt a handspring, opting instead for a....

Edwin: GALATEA SPECIAL! GALATEA SPECIAL! Z wins the penant! Z wins the penant!

Axis: [mutters under his breath about coffee, and then...] Edwin, all he did was kick him in the crotch.

Edwin: And it was the most technically-sound groin kick I've ever seen! This kid deserves a title shot!

Flesher doubles over in pain, unable to protect his groin as Z picks him up - not without a great deal of effort, despite Z's 16-pound weight advantage - and ties him to the Tree of Woe. Z sets the table on edge in front of Flesher, jumps pathetically, and executes a weak dropkick which sends the table - er... tottering into Flesher, who is able to block most of the impact and send the table back at Z. Z sees the table coming back at him, but curls into the fetal position rather than try to roll out of the way. The camera zooms in on Z shivering uncontrollably, forgetting that the legs of the table were pointing at him. The table lands harmlessly over Z, and Flesher sits up to try to untangle himself from the Tree of Woe position. Z rolls out from under the table just as Flesher gets completely untangled and rolls down the turnbuckle into a heap on the mat.

Axis: Flesher's looking a bit frustrated, Edwin. He was planning to walk all over the person that he called "The World's Bitchboy," and here Z is putting up a serious fight.

Edwin: He's certainly carrying Flesher to a great match.

Axis: Pardon?

Edwin: Can't you just feel the workrate surging out of Z's body?

Z cowers in the corner as Flesher stomps toward him. Flesher starts to chase. Z has a speed advantage which frustrates Flesher for a moment, until it occurs to him to just throw a tackle and catch Z that way. Flesher trips Z and applies an ankle lock to keep him grounded, and then drops an elbow on the back of his neck. Flesher grabs Z by his jacket, lifts him to his feet, and nails a superkick, sending Z backwards into the corner. Flesher charges in and nails him with a Yakuza kick, backs out, and charges in with a second Yakuza kick. Z flops comically forward, and Flesher drops a diving headbutt onto the back of his head.

Axis: It's looking like Flesher's really kicking it into gear here.

Edwin: Z's just creating suspense. He wants to give the crowd a reason to think Flesher's going to win.

Flesher lifts Z up again and lifts him into vertical suplex position before dropping out to his back, nailing a solid brainbuster.

Axis: And there's Flesher's brainbuster. He hasn't been able to hit it as yet, but it's usually the start of his high-impact offense.

Edwin: What are you, some kind of amateur psychologist or something?

Flesher steps off to the side and yanks Z to his feet. He headbutts Z in the ribs, hooks the near leg and the head, and arches his back into a textbook Lotus suplex. Flesher doesn't release the cradle, though, and kicks through over Z's limp body. He stands back up, lifts Z again, and this time slams him into the head with a devastating Lotus driver. This time Flesher releases Z, who lays motionless, face-down on the mat. Flesher drags Z back to his feet and whips him into the corner, then walks in and lifts Z up. He sets Z slumping over the corner, creating a flat surface with his back, and proceeds to climb up the ropes and stand on Z's back, posing for the crowd. The crowd is so hot after the beating that they boo Flesher even louder than before.

Axis: Flesher's in quite a precarious position there. You'd think he'd have learned from his experience doing the table dance.

Edwin: The table dance that led to the NELBINA!!!! *BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA*

As if he were listening to the commentators, Flesher jumps off and locks his hands around Z's waist. He bridges back, throwing a released German suplex that sends Z bouncing into the table. The Superior One strolls nonchalantly over to Z's limp body and kicks him a few times idly before slapping on a mounted double chickenwing submission.

Axis: He's just not cranking on those arms the way he should be. When you apply a hold like that, even if it's just to get a breather, you can't be lazy about it.

Edwin: Lay Z?

Axis: Lazy!

His arms tied up, Z tries to sit through. Flesher responds by shoving Z forward, knocking his head into the mat. Z bangs his head against the mat again, and repeats, banging his own head against the canvas in rhythm. The crowd follows suit, standing up and stomping, clapping and chanting "Z! Z! Z!" in rhythm with his headbanging. The chanting and clapping grows louder and louder as Z slowly gets to his feet, limps his arms out of the double chicken wing, and stares Flesher down. Z has a look on his face that spells sheer anger mixed with desire, power and any number of other qualities. Flesher wears a derisive smirk.

Edwin: He's hulking up! Z hulked right out of the double chicken wing!

Axis: He's getting his second wind right now, Edwin. It looks to me like he's realized that Flesher's about to put him through the table. What Z is thinking right now is, "My god! What do I have to do to keep from getting murdered?!"

Edwin: Ah yes, sweet protection of life. That's kicked in so much in my time here in the outback...

Axis: EXCUSE ME?

Edwin: What? A wallaby tried to steal my roast beef sandwich this week!3389

Z shoves Flesher, who shoves him back, causing him to tumble backwards. Z pops back up and charges full-speed at Flesher, who nonchalantly side-steps. Z careens into the corner, turns around, and meets a Flesher superkick to the chin. Z stumbles to the corner, bounces out, and stumbles across the mat, where he manages to trip over the upside-down table, with its legs pointing into the air.

Axis: Tom kicks Z a few more times, and it's evident that Z is just out of gas. Stamina or not, a wrestler can only accept his threshold. Z's chest is rising shallowly, but as tough as he's been, the last superkick just took the starch right out of him. Flesher locks his hands around Z's waist, lifts him up for a gutwrench suplex, and...

HE SAT DOWN! Flesher just sat straight down out of that gutwrench suplex! Ego Buster on the table! Ego Buster on the table!

Edwin: Just listen to the crowd booing. All 229 pounds of Z just came crashing down on his neck, and he's not moving.

Flesher kicks Z off the table, and, just for good measure, dives down onto him with a flying headbutt. He throws a few downward palm strikes into Z's chest and kicks him swiftly in the ribs to make sure he's down for good. Still eyeing his opponent suspiciously, Flesher walks over to the table and very carefully sets it up, close to the turnbuckle.

Axis: Flesher's being very cautious about this. He had a bad experience with the table earlier, and I don't expect him to take any chances here.

Edwin: But WILL Z STAY DOWN?! You can't trust him to stay down. I know Brody's watching this on monitor in the back and wishing he were here to add moral support, but Flesher's on his own for the first time.

Flesher whips Z into the corner and charges in with a Doc Marten to the face, looking very stressed. He throws a few more palms to Z's neck, then lifts Z to the top rope. Flesher climbs to the second rope facing Z, but, instead of looking for a vertical suplex, he simply nails one more palm blow to the chest. He jumps off looking slightly paranoid, turns around, and reaches up to grab Z's arms. He jerks them downward, causing Z to somersault forward onto the table in an Iconoclasm.

Z expells a burst of air violently as he hits the weak pressboard table.

THE TABLE DIDN'T BREAK!

Axis: My god... it's like Z's luck rubbed off on the table!

Edwin: He's not moving, and he STILL gets lucky!

Flesher mounts the top rope, raises his arms for extra momentum, and leaps off. As if in slow motion, Flesher hangs in the air for a moment before falling out, almost straight down in a freefall. Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Flesher's skull crashes down onto Z's sternum.

Z screams out loud. Flesher screams out loud, and falls to the mat clutching his forehead.

The table shatters.3891

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!

Funyon: The winner of this match, "The Superior One" Tom Flesher!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd boos mercilessly as the groggy Flesher grips the ropes and gets to his feet. His theme music starts to blast over the PA, but it's clear that Flesher's head is throbbing for a different reason.

Axis: What a finish! A Superiority Complex through the table! Even Z can't get up from that!

The SmarkTron shows Brody sitting next to Melissa, looking very pleased that his protege picked up the win. Flesher stumbles to the back, holding his beer mug in one hand and his forehead in the other.

Edwin: Off to commercial. We'll be back in just a moment.

March 19, 2002

Edwin: Welcome back to Metal. We are to see a groin grabbing good match!

Axis: It is Ced against Kojack in a No D-Q match.

Edwin: I can sense blood that is going to come out of these wrestlers.

*The arena goes dark blue as the crowd starts booing. Then Boom by P.O.D comes up on the speakers.

“BOOM!”

“Here comes the”

“BOOM!”

*With that second boom, gold pyro goes up as Kojack walks down the ramp and the crowd starts to boo more. Kojack stops at the ring apron and pulls out some toys. Kojack pulls out: 2 trash cans with lids, couple of signs, kendo stick, and several steel chairs.

Axis: Kojack already pulling out the weapons.

Edwin: Well Kojack is eager to fight Ced tonight.

*Grand Sword kicks up as Ced runs out and down the ramp to fight Kojack. Both men start exchanging fists as the ref rings the bell.

Ding, Ding, Ding.

Axis: Both men are already fighting at ringside. They are exchanging fists right now.

*Kojack grabs the advantage by kneeing Ced in the mid section. Then Kojack throws Ced in the ring and slides in himself. Ced quickly gets up and grabs a sign. The sign is smashed into Kojack’s face with a huge Crack. Kojack wobbles and looks fine as he takes another sign shot. Kojack falls to his knees as Ced drops the sign. Kojack’s arm is grabbed and is whipped into the ropes by Ced. When Kojack comes back, he feels the arm of Ced hit his neck area and sending him down with a clothesline. Ced grabs a trash can lid as smashes it against Kojack’s skull. The lid becomes dented with an imprint of Kojack’s skull. Ced lifts the trash can lid to his face area and is ready to hit Kojack with it again but feels the lid go into his face instead with a thrust kick. The trash can lid becomes mangled with imprints of skulls and a foot. Then Kojack places a trashcan in the centre of the ring and whips Ced into the ropes. The body of Ced is lifted up and sent flying into the air with a back body drop by Kojack. The body of Ced falls on the trashcan on his landing. The trashcan flattens by the weight of Ced and now looks like a pancake.

Axis: OHHHH! That Trashcan is now flat as a pancake.

Edwin: These men are getting hardcore already.

*The body of Ced is thrown outside and lands on the concrete. Ced pulls himself up with the barricade. Ced looks up and sees a blur image of Kojack flying off the turnbuckle and about to land on Ced. Ced sees this and jumps out of the way as the head and throat of Kojack hits the barricade instead. Kojack falls down and tries to regain his breath as Ced grabs the ring bell. Ced charges Kojack with the ring bell and smashes the skull of Kojack. The sound Ding fills the arena as the crowd cheers. Kojack falls down but regains his composure. Kojack feels the fists of Ced driving into his gut shortly after the ring bell shot. Then Kojack feels the cold hard steel chair sacking into his skull. The head of Kojack busts open as blood drips down. Kojack falls hard on the concrete as the red warm blood continues to pour down the face of Kojack. Ced grabs the hair of Kojack and throws him into the ring. Kojack gets up and sees a chair flying right at him. Kojack uses his quick reflexes and catches the chair and is ready to hit Ced when the chair goes into his own skull by a roundhouse kick. Kojack goes down and feels the body of Ced going over him and hooking the leg.

One, Two, T…..

Axis: Kick out! Well Edwin Kojack lost some weight and height lately.

Edwin: Must have drunk too much coffee cause that stunts your growth and hasn’t been eating.

*Kojack is lifted up as Ced holds the chair up. It is a swing and a miss with the chair by Ced because Kojack ducks under it. Then Kojack uses his acrobatics and hits a springboard elbow on the chair into Ced’s face. Ced drops the chair as Kojack crawls to the top rope. The big agile man jumps off the ropes with his body spread out. The body of Kojack lands on the body of Ced resulting in a big splash. Kojack feels some pain from the move and is not able to make the pin. Kojack rolls around the ring, as Ced lays there still like a rock. Kojack manages to get up slowly and pulls Ced to a corner. Then Kojack flips Ced over so he is lying on his stomach and puts a chair on the back of his head.

Axis: What is Kojack trying to do?

Edwin: I don’t know but I bet its going to cause major damage to Ced.

*Kojack goes up to the top rope and starts to walk on the ropes. Kojack uses his balance to stay up and move to Ced. Then Kojack bounces off the ropes and hits a leg drop on the chair that smashes into the back of Ced’s head. Kojack looks in pain with his right leg as Ced still stays still.

Axis: GOOD GREIF! Kojack just landed on that chair that smashed into Ced’s head.

Edwin: Ced aint moving. This isn’t good.

*The ref checks on Ced as Kojack has a evil grin on his face as he slowly gets up. Then Ced starts slowly moving as Kojack has a look of disbelief on his face. Ced gets on his knees and shakes the stars off and gets up. Kojack charges Ced and misses by a mile. Then when he turns around he sees the foot and leg of Ced hitting his face with an enzigri. Ced rolls out of the ring and searches under the ring apron. Ced pulls out 2 tables and throws them in the ring. Then Ced reaches way back and pulls out a ladder and throws that into the ring. The crowd starts cheering, as they know that it is going to pick up.

Axis: Ced is going to do something harsh and painful.

Edwin: The warm up is done. Now its time of the real thing.

*Ced sets up the ladder and the tables as Kojack manages to get up. Kojack grabs a street sign and whacks it into the head of Ced. Kojack drops the sign and puts Ced on the table. The ladder shakes as Kojack climbs up the ladder. Ced opens his eye and sees this and quickly gets off the table and climbs the ladder too. Kojack is stopped with shots from Ced. The legs of Ced wrapped around the neck of Kojack. Then Ced uses all of his weight to pull Kojack off the ladder and hitting a thunderous hurricrana and missing the table by and inch. Both men fall to the mat with Kojack getting the worse of it. The crowd cheers at this awesome move by Ced.

Axis: OUCH! Ced just hit a hurricrana off the ladder!

Edwin: Kojack’s head must be hurting now.

*Ced rolls out of the ring still in pain but carries on. Ced grabs another table and sets it up at ringside. Kojack is pulled out of the ring by Ced and placed on the table. Kojack still isn’t moving as Ced moves the ladder to the ropes. Ced climbs the tall ladder as Kojack lies still. When Ced reaches the top, he turns around and stands up. The crowd cheers as Ced jumps off the ladder and rotates in mid air for a moonsault. The body of Ced meets the body of Kojack as the table breaks. Kojack’s body is folded up and he looks pretty bad. Both men lye on the concrete as the ref looks shocked.

Axis: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! CED HIT A MOONSAULT FROM THAT LADDER IN THE RING TO THAT TABLE ON KOJACK!

Edwin: We need some help out here. Both men are broken in half.

*The ref lifts Ced to his feet but is pushed away as Ced gets up on his own. Ced grabs Kojack and throws him in the ring. Ced rolls in the ring and doesn’t go for the pin because he wants to punish Kojack more. Ced grabs another table and pulls it to him. Then he puts the cold body of Kojack on the table and climbs the ladder again. Ced slowly climbs the ladder with a smile and finally gets on the top. Kojack opens his eyes and sees a object jumping off the ladder and coming right at him. Kojack rolls out of the way as Ced goes for another moonsault but lands on the table instead. The table snaps as Ced’s body lies broken and folded in the rubble. The ref is in shock again as Kojack slowly gets up.

Axis: CED MISSED! What are these men trying to do?

Edwin: These men have a extreme hatred!

Axis: These men are going to kill themselves if this keeps on going.

*Kojack takes to last table and places it clothes to a turnbuckle. Then Kojack lifts up Ced and places him on the top rope. The Kojack climbs it himself and sets Ced up for a superplex. Ced is lifted to his feet and then in the air as Kojack lifts him up and falls back. Both men go into the table with a huge CRASH! Table bits are on the men as they lie there. Kojack stirs around a little but is not able to make a pin or get up.

Axis: GOOD GOD! These two men are destroying each other.

Edwin: This is utter suicide!

*Kojack rolls out of the mess of tables and slowly gets on his knees. Ced moves around a little as Kojack very slowly gets up with major help from the ropes. Kojack grabs a steel chair and folds it and puts in a corner. Kojack continues to do that for every chair. The end result is a row of chairs that are placed 2 by 2. Then Kojack moves the ladder close to the row of chairs and goes back to Ced. Kojack hits a few stomps and picks up Ced. Kojack lifts Ced up and places him on the ladder in the middle. Then Kojack goes under Ced and puts Ced’s head under his arm. Kojack goes for a superplex but isn’t able to lift Ced off the ladder. Ced battles back with some shots to the ribs and Kojack looses his footing on the ladder. Ced takes advantage by pushing Kojack off the ladder on onto the row of chairs. Kojack falls down and into a row of chairs. All the chairs a dented with a part of Kojack’s body. Kojack feels the leg of Ced hitting his neck area right after by a leg drop off the ladder. Kojack is bruised and broken after the mighty fall as Ced slowly reaches his arm over Kojack or the pin.

One, Two, Thre…..

Axis: It’s over…… wait NO! Kojack got his foot on the rope!

Edwin: Smart move by Kojack. He just saved himself there.

*A tired and injured Ced slowly and sluggishly crawls out of the graveyard of chairs. A chair is picked up and set up by Ced as Kojack still lies there like a rock. Ced backs up to a corner and then blasts off with speed. The wind hits Ced’s face as he jumps off the set up chair. The wind changes to blood as Kojack counters the aerial move with a steel chair shot to the head. Blood flies up as Ced is busted wide open like a watermelon. The warm blood drips down the face of Ced as Kojack is on his knees and taking a break. Kojack pulls himself up and grabs the set up ladder. Slowly putting it back to its orignal state he folds the two sides up. Then he places Ced between the two halves of the ladder face down. Kojack has a sick smile like he is enjoying this blood and pain that both of them have suffered. Slowly Kojack climbs to the top rope and stands up. Then Kojack jumps off like a bird as he extends his elbow towards the ladder. The elbow and the body of Kojack hits the ladder and Ced causing it to snap on Ced’s body. The elbow of Kojack hits the hard steel on impact. Both men are in extreme pain as the lye still.

Edwin: What a move by Kojack!

Axis: What Impact!

*The ref doesn’t know what to do as Kojack rolls around the bloody ring. Kojack drags the mangled body of Ced to the edge of the ring. Then Kojack pushes Ced who is still in the ladder out of the ring so Ced is now lying diagonally. The Ced opens his eyes to see a horrible sight. The sight is Kojack flying off the top rope onto the ladder at full speed. The ladder snaps as Kojack hits a splash on the ladder Ced is sandwiched in. The mid section of Kojack takes shape of the ladder. Ced slides out of the ladder after the impact as Kojack falls on his head. Ced is the first one to get up as Kojack feels the effects of landing on his head. Kojack is thrown into the ring as Ced dashes into the ropes and launches off beside Kojack. Ced gets major airtime as he extends his knee. The knee of Ced is driven deep in the heart of Kojack. Ced manages to crawl over Kojack to make a cover.

One, Two, Thre…..

Axis: KICK OUT! Kojack managed to kick out from Ced.

Edwin: Both of these men better go in high gear to become victorious.

Axis: I think Kojack got the worse of his little stunt that he did.

Edwin: Well this is a new Kojack. He doesn’t give a #### about his body.

*Ced pounds the mat in frustration as the ref looks on. Kojack feels himself getting pulled up in a rough manner. Kojack is in some sort of trance from all this pain and barley moves. Ced pulls back his foot and then launches it forward to kick Kojack in the gut. The arm of Ced is placed over Kojack’s head and he grabs Kojack’s tights. Then Ced snaps back quickly and lifts Kojack in the air and sends him down for a snap suplex. The back of Kojack is slammed into the mat by this move. Kojack feels the body weight of Ced go over him for a pin.

One, Two, Thre…

Axis: Another near fall! Kojack aint staying down.

Edwin: Well both these men have lots of pride and they want to keep theirs.

*Ced grabs Kojack and sets him up for another snap suplex. Ced takes too much time and Kojack rolls down and hooks Ced’s legs for a pin.

One, Two, Thre….

Axis: NO! Close call there by Ced.

Edwin: Ced took too much time right there.

*Kojack jumps up for the advantage and cracks his fist on the face of Ced. Kojack pulls back and launches his fist again and hits Ced right in the nose. Kojack checks his hand and spots some warm blood from the busted nose of Ced. Kojack steps back from some room and flies off with his arm out and it slams into Ced’s neck for a clothesline. Kojack uses his speed to run to a corner and then jump off the second turnbuckle and makes a 180 in mid air and extends his leg. The leg of Kojack falls onto Ced’s neck causing a springboard leg drop. Kojack slides off Ced a little to go for the pin.

One, Two, Thre…..

Axis: NOT YET! Ced got his shoulder off the mat.

Edwin: Kojack was one second away from winning this match.

*Kojack quickly rises and starts stomping Ced. Kojack grabs a dented steel chair from earlier and smashes the chair on the back of Ced. Then Kojack walks over to the top left turnbuckle and takes off the padding of the middle turnbuckle. Kojack grabs a fallen Ced and hoists him up and puts him on the top turnbuckle. Another chair shot to the back to Ced for good measure and then Ced is pulled down so he is facing the exposed turnbuckle. Then Kojack places the chair up and down so it covers Ced’s head. The crowd looks on as Kojack goes to the opposite corner. Then Kojack goes off with a burst of speed and jumps in the air. Kojack goes flying and he extends his legs to the head of Ced and puts all of his power in his legs. The legs of Kojack nail the steel chair right into the back of the head of Ced. Ced’s head also smashes into the exposed steel as his foot falls off.

Edwin: WHAM!!!!!! The head of Ced just smashed into that exposed steel.

Axis: Blood is dripping even more from Ced’s head. Wait Kojack is going for the pin!

One, Two, Three

Axis: WAIT! NO! Ced got his foot on the ropes! How he do that!

Edwin: Wow I thought he was out cold from that move.

*Kojack looks at the roof in disbelief and then gets up. Kojack grabs a bloody Ced and throws him out of the ring. Ced is placed on the announce table as Axis and Edwin move out of the way. Kojack walks around the apron until he finds a ladder and goes back to Ced. The ladder is set up and is shaking as Kojack climbs it rung by rung. Kojack finally makes it to the top as he sees Ced still lying there and bleeding from the head. Kojack slaps his elbow before standing up. The crowd goes wild as they see Kojack jump off the ladder and extending his elbow for an elbow drop on Ced. The elbow of Kojack hits the announce table instead and snaps the table in half. Kojack also lands on the hard concrete as Ced lies beside the table and safe from the elbow. The crowd goes wild as Axis shows the replay.

Axis: Look at this folks. Ced moves out of the way in the nick of time as Kojack goes off the ladder.

Edwin: This is sickening. Can we get some help out here?

Axis: Wait look! Ced is slowly getting up.

Edwin: It’s not Ced who went through that table.

*Ced looks to the crowd and raises his left arm. Then Ced thrusts him arm to the ring apron and signals for a table. Two tables are pulled out and both of them are set up with some space in between. Kojack is grabbed and is in a rock bottom position. The crowd goes wild, as they know its time for Final Surge. Ced lifts his leg in the air and is about to hit it when the elbow of Kojack goes straight in the temple of Ced. Ced looses his grip and is kicked in the mid section. His head is put between Kojack’s legs and is lifted high into the air. Then a horrible sight comes as they see Kojack drop Ced onto the table for a Jack Bomb. The head of Ced hits the wood of the table and snaps the wood and continues to bend the steel. The table is mangled now with the body of Ced in the middle of the mess. Kojack falls in desperation as the ref looks on in disbelief.

Edwin: W H A M! Ced is driven through that table! Oh the horror!

Axis: I can’t believe what these two men have done. It is a no-DQ match not a bloody hardcore match!

Edwin: Well the hatred has boiled over now.

*Very slowly Kojack gets up from desperation Kojack throws Ced in the ring but not far. Kojack crawls into the ring and drags his left arm over Ced.

One, Two, Three

Axis: NO! WAIT! CED GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!

Edwin: Ced aint going to go down.

Axis: Kojack is in complete shock!

*Kojack smashes the mat hard with his fist in anger and looks sky wards. Kojack shakes his head as he stands up and picks up the chair. The tattered and broken body of Ced is up with the help of the ref. Kojack swings the chair and feels the air go by him as he misses. Kojack drops the air and turns around to see the arm of Ced go around his neck and is whipped to the floor and then feels his neck being damaged again as Ced flips over him for a Double Strike. Kojack goes down and holds his neck as Ced goes for the pin.

One, Two, Thre….

Axis: NEAR FALL!

Edwin: Well Ced bounced back from the Jack Bomb and is looking to end it here.

Axis: Well this match had everything from tables to ladders to signs.

*Ced picks up Kojack and throws him intot he corner but is reversed and sent in the corner instead. He sees Kojack charging at him and quickly dodges and catches a wozzy Kojack. Ced places his arm around Kojack’s neck and brings his leg up. Then with lighting speed, the leg comes down to hit Kojack and sweeps Kojack to hit Ced’s finisher: Final Surge. Ced does a lateral press over Kojack.

One, Two, Three

Axis: WAIT! NO! KOJACK! KOJACK GOT HIS LEG ON THE ROPE!

Edwin: Desperation by Kojack to get enough energy to get his foot on that bottom rope.

Axis: Look at Ced! He is in disbelief!

*Ced stomps Kojack and eventually picks him up. Ced flings his leg at Kojack and is caught. Then a smile goes over Ced’s face as he flips his other leg in the air and goes for an enzigri. The smile on Ced is turned to horror as Kojack ducks the other leg and lets Ced fall the mat. Kojack goes down and wraps his legs around Ced’s leg like a snake. Kojack uses his last bit of energy to grab the ankle and lock in the hold.

Axis: TORQUE! TORQUE!

Edwin: Bad news for Ced!

Axis: Will he tap?

Edwin: TAP BABY! TAP!

Axis: Look at the look of pain on Ced’s face.

*The ref checks on Ced as his hand is extended and is trying to grab the rope. Ced is like a animal being caught by its predator. Kojack puts his last bit of strength and energy to put more pain on this hold. Ced moves his legs but can’t get out of this hold. Ced really extends his arm like a rubber band but to no avail. Ced thrusts his arm to the rope one more time before smacking his hand to the mat.

SMACK!

Axis: ITS ALL OVER!

Edwin: That was one #### of a match with Kojack coming out on top.

Axis: Well Ced made an awesome effort but Kojack still beat him tonight!

Edwin: Well the crew has to get out here and clean this mess up.

*P.O.D’s boom comes out of the speakers as Kojack rolls out of the ring. Kojack slowly walks up the ramp as Ced lies there.

Axis: What a match!

Edwin: Well blood was every where here.

Axis: I bet Sacred could do something evil right now.

*At that the arena goes dark as you see Sacred on the Smark tron.

Sacred: “I AM EVIL! MUHAHAHA!”.

Edwin: WHAT THE ####!

Axis: Well it looked like Sacred made his appearance on Meta.

Edwin: Well stay put cause we are about to have another match after this!

March 19, 2002

We're joined in progress as the Mike Van Siclen and Dark Reaper match is already underway!

Axis: And there's The End, literally--no, wait folks, who's that running out of the crowd!

Edwin: It's...uh, someone.

Axis: He looks rather...plain?

Edwin and Axis suddenly have a revelation! Together! Wheee!

Edwaxis: IT'S JOHNNY GENERIC!

The crowd boos or cheers and Johnny Generic runs into the ring. He plants each man with a powerful scoop slam and hooks both their legs...but no, Xero and Mafia are running down the ramp!

Edwaxis: XERO AND MAFIA ARE RUNNING DOWN THE RAMP!

The two guys booked next on the card charge into the ring, looking to break up Generic's double pinfall--but suddenly "Antipop" by Primus hits as Mr. Galatea explodes up through the bottom of the ring, his skin green and his shirt torn as he bellows "GALATEA SMASH!"

Edwaxis: IT'S THE INCREDIBLE GALATEA! GALATEA SPECIAL SQUARED!

The ref counts three on Generic's two pinfalls, and then falls right back to the mat as the nut-shotted Xero and Mafia crumble into Mr. Galatea's arms!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

Edwin: You guys suck. JOBBER CRUSHERS WIN!

Something stupid happens, not unlike the rest of this vignette.

March 19, 2002

As SJL Metal prepares to end with about 15 minutes of air time, the commercials finally end and brings one last clip of the Sydney Superdome in Australia. These "Down Under" fans are on their feet, weeping and wailing, seeing that this is the second to the last show in the SJL Australian Tour. Axis and Edwin are commentating tonight's action, without the constant outbreaks of Sacred. The camera pans the arena, potraying the thousands in the complex, as well as the thousands of posterboards that these fans are holding up to honor their heroes.

"(Axis) Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes to the Superdome in Sydney!"

"(Edwin) Yes, if only you would take up the time by actually saying a thousand welcomes."

"(Axis) Oh quiet you.... Ladies and gents, our Australian tour is nearing to an end and I am going to miss my home greatly."

"(Edwin) Heh, that was definetly a lie."

"(Axis) Quiet! Seeing that the tournament for the SWF Contract is nearing to an end, we have decided to take a break from the competition and bring in a regular but spectacular show."

"(Edwin) So far it's been off the charts but since we've only got *so* much time left, we're finishing off with the retirement of the SJL Stables/Tag Championships. This means, the current Champions, X Force 9, will defend the title against long time rival stable, The Clan!"

"(Axis) Oh, I remember the days........"

"(Edwin) I sure do too. But this is a new breed of XF9ers and Clanites, I might add. Both with talent and both with power. It's also interesting to see how the Clanites will work together, seeing as this is their first cooperative matchup."

"(Axis) ENOUGH TALKING!"

"(Edwin) Indeed. Let's get down to Funyon!"

Funyon takes his mark at the center of the ring as the lights in the arena slowly dim, with spotlights of all sorts of colors making their appearance, enchanting the fans with the movement. The Smarkstron rips open and in bold, red, and gothic letters, the giant screen potrays the simple words that have made them so famous........

"So Says The Clan"

The fans in the Superdome immediately copes with anger and hatred, pouring down infinite boos for the Clanites. "You Were" by DJ Foxx begins playing over the speakers and a mysterious mist of smoke shrouds the ramp in conspiracy.

"(Funyon) The following match is a 3-man Tag Match for the SJL Stables/Tag Championships!! Introducing first, the challengers, weighing at a combined weight of 630 pounds, the SJL World Champion K-Os, Lady Red, and the SJL TV Champion Shawn Brody.......... THE CLAANNNNNNN!!!!!"

The Sydney fans boo in unison once more as the mysterious Lady Red, in her long kimono, leads the TV Champ Shawn Brody and fellow World Champ K-Os out to the squared circle, the arena for another battle for the already long XF9/Clan war. Lady Red majestically steps up the steel stairs as Brody sits on the middle rope, enlarging the entrance gap for the fellow Clanite. The World Champ simply rolls in, avoiding dozens of soda cans thrown at him.

"(Axis) Ah yes, the Clan has been hated ever since their debut. It's no doubt."

"(Edwin) They may be hated, but they are respected. All members of The Clan that started in the minors have already been promoted to the WF."

The three Clanites stand patiently for the XF9ers to appear. The lights transform into futuristic green as the Smarkstron potrays a revolving "X", enchanting the fans who leap in excitement, throwing their arms in the air and cheering loudly for the XF9ers. "Operate, Annihilate" begins to eroticate the arena with its bass beat.

"(Funyon) And their opponents, weighing at a combined weight of 703 pounds, Ash Ketchum, Low Brass, and the SJL European Champion Erek Taylor, they are the SJL Stables/Tag Champions....... X........ Foooooorrrrrcccccceeeeeeee..... Niiiiiinnnnnneeeeee!!!!!!!!!!"

The music gets louder and the fans get crazier but nobody, not even a little mouse, appears from the back. The whole arena stares in confusion, referee, Clan, and all. Where are those XF9ers? The music even stops! The referee gathers the Clanites together and mentions for the ten count. The Clan nods in approval for the countout but before the referee can even start, "Operate, Annihilate" blasts out of the speakers yet again.

"(Axis) What's happening?!"

"(Edwin) I don't know but I think we're about to find out!"

The sounds of engines roaring blasts through the arena, surprising all the Clanites. They look to the top of the ramp, and in a split second, a trio of Honda Motorbikes speeds down to the ring, Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum riding on the sides while Low Brass takes the center. The trio of bikes brakes to a stop and all 3 XF9ers jump off their suave bikes. The Clanites waste no time and quickly slide out of the ring, lunging towards the XF9ers with pure force. K-Os and Low Brass begins exchanging rights while Ash and Erek team up to deliver a double clothesline to Shawn Brody, only to get knocked back by a diving Lady Red with a cross body!

"(Axis) They're going at it now!"

"(Edwin) No time wasted? That just shows how much these two groups want to be the best."

Taylor and Ketchum regroup, holding their chests as they move forward and deck Red back with a double punch. Lady Red staggers back, colliding her back with the apron. Brody slowly staggers up but is quickly overwhelmed by the numbers, getting pummeled down with hard rights before getting thrown into the ring. Low Brass and K-Os have a battle of their very own, both can't seem to overpower the other. Finally, Ketchum comes in and tips the tables, nailing K-Os from behind with a high forearm. Erek Taylor slides in and the referee wastes no time to separate the two groups. Lady Red and K-Os obediently stroll to The Clan corner while Brass and Ketchum to the XF9 corner.

***Ding ding ding!!!***

Brody scurries back up to his feet in a hurry, glaring at the European Champion intensely. Taylor and Brody begin circling the ring before locking up at the middle. However, Taylor dodges the initial punch and drives a knee into Brody's gut. Brody doubles over, allowing Taylor to rebound off the ropes and nailing an easy spinning neckbreaker.

"(Axis) XF9 taking the early advantage here, with the Euro Champ taking on the TV Champ."

"(Edwin) So long have we seen this classic XF9 versus Clan war. This match is actually to see who will be the most dominant. Right now, XF9 and The Clan are at two titles apiece. XF9 has more to lose than to gain."

"(Axis) Very nicely put."

Taylor grabs Brody by the hair and drags the TV Champ back up. With the stroke of the fist, Taylor knocks Brody staggering towards The Clan corner. K-Os and Lady Red immediately ready up, watching as Taylor assumes the crouching stance. Lady Red looks to K-Os, who looks to Brody, who looks to Red. The Clanites nod in unison and Brody tags in Lady Red! The once bright and charming Annie E takes into the ring, her kimono sweeping the floor as she moves towards her former friend. Red swings a hard right but Taylor blocks it and lashes out with a hard chop!

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

Taylor speaks out some inaudible words before knocking Lady Red with another hard chop!

"(Crowds) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!"

Taylor grabs Red by the wrist and whips her to the ropes. Red rebounds and immediately ducks a clothesline from Taylor and the momentum carries her to the second ropes. Red rebounds again and almost majestically, leaps into the air and brings a high heel kick coming down!

"(Axis) Lady Red with the martial arts ki- WAAIIITT!!!"

Taylor catches the kick, but not before the force of the kick sends him down on his knees. Lady Red, no emotions on her face, leaps up again, and brings her free leg across Taylor's face before landing perfectly on her two feet, careful not to dirty her kimono. Taylor holds his cheek in pain as he staggers to his feet, hearing the fans' cheers and Ketchum with Brass asking of his condition.

"(Axis) Taylor caught the kick but I don't know if he's going to last long."

"(Edwin) Certainly not against the wicked high kicking of Lady Red.... BOOYAH!!"

Lady Red gently brings Taylor back up with her hand under Taylor's chin. And just as violently, Lady Red strikes again with another bonecrushing kick! Taylor gets pummeled back to the corner, his head in Disneyland and his body begging for a chiropractor! Lady Red comes rushing in with another of her deadly kicks but Taylor quickly ducks under and dives forward, tackling Red to the ground! Taylor rolls off Red and dives towards his corner, lunging toward the nearest XF9er, Ash Ketchum!!

"(Axis) I guess Taylor couldn't handle the kicks but let's see how Ketchum will fare against Lady Red."

"(Edwin) Fare? When did you start saying words like that?"

"(Axis) When my girlfriend said I was dumb."

"(Edwin) Oh well, she speaks the truth."

Ketchum, the more built of the XF9ers, races forward and pummels Lady Red with a hard right, staggering her to the ropes. Ketchum quickly grabs Red by the wrist and whips her to the ropes. On the rebound, Ketchum dives ahead for a clothesline but Red ducks under, slams on the brakes, and spins around, tripping Ketchum down with a sweeping kick across the mat! Ketchum falls hard and Red wastes no time to cover the Pokemaster.

ONE!!

TWO!!

THRE- but Ketchum kicks out just as he's getting his head straight.

Red grabs Ketchum by the hair and drags him over to The Clan's corner. The feminine Clanite brings Ketchum back up to his feet and tags in the World Champ! K-Os enters the ring to a wave of boos but no matter, he makes his business known as he knocks Ketchum down with a hard clothesline. Not the like who take defeat lying down, Ketchum scurries back up to his feet, only to get knocked back down by the dominating JL Champ. K-Os pummels Ketchum with a flurry of rights, backing the Pokemaster to the corner.

"(Axis) K-Os is just monstrous. He's proving why he hasn't been defeated in 1 on 1 combat since he returned to the JL."

"(Edwin) Well, like I always say, there will be a first time for everything."

With nowhere to go, no place to hide, Ketchum tries retaliating but K-Os easily blocks the punch and sends a harder, faster, and deadlier one into Ketchum's skull. Ketchum staggers forward and the momentum of K-Os sends Ketchum whipping to the corner. K-Os, angry like a bulldog, charges in at top speed but Ketchum dives out of the way just in the nick of time, sending K-Os crashing into the padding. Erek Taylor hops off the apron and sneaks over without getting caught by the referee. Holding on to K-Os' legs, Taylor pulls it as hard as he can, tripping K-Os forward! Taylor innocently races back to the XF9 corner, whistling as high as he can. Ketchum moves towards K-Os, but stops. He looks towards Brass....

"(Ash) I think I'm about to throw up."

"(Erek) Really? Because of a punch? I thought people were supposed to bleed."

"(Ash) Someone come in."

"(LB) Here, tag me."

Ketchum tags in Brass and the Funky Monkey, shocked by his own stablemate past Crimson, races towards K-Os and decks K-Os with a clothesline. The JL Champ staggers forward, dizzy and all as Brass steps to the side and picks K-Os up before planting him to the mat with a clutch sidewalk slam! Brass picks the leg up for the cover......

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THR- No!! K-Os kicks out at the last second!

Brass brings K-Os back up but gets raked in the eye for all his troubles. K-Os, like any other JL Champ, knows when it's time to hang up the shoes and quickly brings Brass over to the Clanite corner before tagging in Brody. Lady Red circles an arm around Brass' neck, applying the sleeper hold while Brody and K-Os lay a batch of shots into Brass' gut!

"(Axis) Now that's just cheating."

"(Edwin) Cheating is part of the game. Always has, always will. Now if they wanna even it out, I say XF9 take that Humvee and run those Clannies down."

"(Axis) You're kidding, right?"

"(Edwin) *sighs* Of course I am."

The referee restrains the Clanites but Brody gets in the official's way, blocking him from seeing the assault that his fellow Clanites are giving to Brass. Taylor and Ketchum scream out in rage, trying to get into the fray but the referee cuts their path off and coincidentally, gives a few more seconds of beating time for The Clan. K-Os steps out to the apron and Brody grabs Brass by the hair before pulling him to the center of the mat and flipping him down with a snapmare. Brody quickly cranks in the pressure, locking in the Sleeper Hold as Brass grimaces in pain. The referee asks Brass for submission but the Funky Monkey stubbornly refuses. Brass tries turning, tries elbowing his way out but there's no use, the TV Champ has his grip too tight. Taylor leans on the ropes, clapping simulateously with his stomping, trying to cheer Brass on. Ketchum motions for the crowds to get in, and before long, the fans in the Superdome all clap and stomp, chanting "Low Brass! Low Brass!"

"(Axis) Sleeper Hold applied."

"(Edwin) No, it's a Sharpshooter!"

Brass continues to crunch his fist in agony, trying to break out of the hold but can't. Brody pushes Brass down even further, blocking the veteran from making any sort of comeback. The referee begins to count it out but before he can, Erek Taylor comes racing into the ring, leaping into the air and performing a dropkick to Shawn Brody! The TV Champ gets knocked back as Erek Taylor gets restrained and ordered back out to the apron.

"(Axis) Oh, Brass has got to make the tag!!"

"(Edwin) But how?! HOW?! HOW?!!!!!"

Brass, still hurt from the sleeper, takes a while trying to push himself up. Taylor and Ketchum all stretch their hands out forward, trying to tag in to get Brass out. But the Clanites know too much to let that happen. Brody, after recooperating himself, grabs Brass by the leg and pulls him over to the Clanite corner before tagging in Lady Red! The crowds erupt in massive waves of boos as Lady Red comes in, joining Brody as the two Clanites start to deliver kicks of all sorts into LB's gut. The referee steps in and orders Brody out, but no matter, The Clan has Brass where they want him. Anni- er, Lady Red hurls LB to the ropes and on the rebound, floors him with a spinning heel kick. Lady Red bends down and covers LB.

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THRE- YES! Low Brass kicks out but doesn't have any energy to fight back!

"(Axis) Low Brass with the miraculous kickout! Lady Red was just shooting kicks here and there!"

"(Edwin) And might I add, those kicks are deadly fast."

Lady Red shouts in anger, but in the end, gives into the count and brings Low Brass up. Brass tries to retaliate quickly with a right but Lady Red anticipates the manuever, blocking it in the air and thrusting her fist into Brass' throat. Brass holds his throat in pain, trying to get in as much air as he possibly can. Red doesn't stop there, pushing Brass over to the corner and laying a batch of kicks to Brass' body. The Funky Monkey tries to block the lightning fast kicks but only gets his arms hurt instead.

"(Axis) If Brass stays in the position he's in, this match is over."

"(Edwin) C'mon! He's gotta make a comeback! He's all about comebacks!"

Red pauses, and in this brief moment, Low Brass dives forward, tackling Red to the ground and mounting himself on the Majestic's chest. With only revenge on his mind, Low Brass lays down a flurry of hard rights to the emotionless Lady Red. Red's head goes popping left and right, and eventually, the referee calls the attack off. Low Brass grabs Red by the hair but doesn't expect a counter. With this, Red sneakily shoves Brass over to the Clanite corner, where he is knocked in the back with two punches, one from Brody and one from K-Os. Brass staggers forward, and Red takes advantage of her cult's actions, delivering a kick into Brass' gut that doubles him over. The momentum carries Red forward, and the Majestic female plants Brass to the canvas with a DDT that shakes the ring! Red goes for the cover yet again......

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THRE- but still! Low Brass won't give up!

"(Axis) YES! No way will XF9 give up this early!"

"(Edwin) They won't give up. They can only be beaten."

Brass gets brought back up but breaks Red's grip in desperation. LB fights Red back, shooting fists to the ex-friend's face, pummeling her to the corner. LB grabs Red by the wrist and hurls her to the ropes, bending down for a back body drop. Red sees the opportunity and leaps over LB before instinctively bouncing back into the air and shooting a pair of boots into LB's back! The dropkick staggers LB forward hard and K-Os pulls the top rope down, causing LB to stumble out of the ring! Brody and K-Os all jump down from the apron, moving towards LB and laying dozens of stomps to the XF9 leader. The referee doesn't see it, getting caught up by Lady Red's distraction.

"(Axis) Now that's just bull!"

"(Edwin) It's a good move, getting the referee's attention so the fellow teammates can lay down some more damage to the enemy."

Erek Taylor and Ash Ketchum all enter the ring, trying to go to their friend's aide but the referee stops them in their tracks. The referee screams at the two XF9ers, ordering them to get back to their corner as Brody and K-Os roll LB back inside. Lady Red crawls down and goes for the cover.........

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THRE- NO!! Brass won't stay down!!

"(Axis) And again! BRASS KICKS OUT!!!"

"(Edwin) I think we're beginning to see the impatient side of The Clan."

Red shrieks in anger once more and drags Brass to the Clanite corner before tagging in the unexperienced but talented Shawn Brody. Brody takes Brass back up and whips the Funky Monkey to the ropes before racing in and bouncing back with a kitchen sink attack! Brass flips over but manages to stagger back up in seconds, amazing the TV Champ. Brody lunges forward, pummeling Brass with a hard right that staggers the JL veteran to the corner. Brody shoots another fist but Brass knows that it's time to make a run and blocks Brody's shot. Brass retaliates with a gut punch, following up with a headbutt and flooring Brody with a clothesline! Brass scurries over to make the tag but Brody quickly manages to hold on to Brass' leg!

"(Axis) Brody has Brass on tight. Come on!"

"(Edwin) Brody is unexperienced but he can really make a difference."

Brody holds on for his dear life as Brass tries reaching and reaching, trying to stretch out his arm to tag in the nearest XF9er! Brody holds on tightly, getting back up to his feet while doing so. Brass looks back at the rookie, and out of desperation, spins in the air and brings a flying foot across Brody's face! Brody's grip gets knocked off and Brass lunges forward, slapping the nearest XF9er in the hand.......

EREK TAYLOR!! Taylor slingshots inside and makes like a bird, leaping into the air and flooring Brody with the patented Diving Adelphia Forearm. Still moving, Taylor races over to the Clanite corner and drills a fist into K-Os face before heading back. K-Os quickly enters the ring but the referee pushes him back, the two now engaging in a struggle. With the referee distracted, Taylor brings Brody back up and plants him to the mat with a scoop slam. Ketchum enters the ring as well and the two XF9ers drop a double elbow attack on the TV Champ! Ketchum scurries out of the ring as soon as possible while the referee turns back and drops to make the count.

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE- OOOH!! K-Os dives for the save, laying across a forearm across Taylor's head.

"(Axis) Erek Taylor with that high clothesline but K-Os breaks up the cover at the last second."

"(Edwin) You gotta be kidding me."

Ketchum enters the ring in an instant, racing towards K-Os and pummeling the Champ back with a clothesline. Lady Red tries to get involved but as she nears Ketchum, Brass dives in and nails a spear on Lady Red! Ketchum and Brass both get their opponent out of the ring, engaging in a fistfight outside. Inside, Erek Taylor brings Brody back up to his feet and delivers a kick that doubles the TV Champ over. Taylor grabs Brody by the head and starts wrenching it until their backs are face to face!

"(Axis) FAME AND FURY!! It's coming!!"

"(Edwin) Oh, I dig that move."

But Brody knows that it's still early and quickly breaks free of Taylor's grip, making a run towards the ropes. Brody rebounds with force and catches the unexpected Taylor with a clothesline! Taylor ducks under at the last second, shoving Brody to the ropes. Brody rebounds for a second time and this time there's not such luck as Taylor grabs Brody around the waist, hoisting the TV Champ into the air before planting him to the ground with a diving spinebuster! Taylor places Brody's legs into a "V" formation before crossing it up and spinning around to lock in the Sharpshooter.

"(Axis) Sharpshooter! Brody looks like he's going to tap!"

"(Edwin) No! The Clan is back!"

Lady Red manages to get the upper of Brass, knocking the veteran into the steel stairs. Upon seeing Taylor with the Sharpshooter, Red rolls back in and quickly knocks the XF9er down with a clothesline from behind. Taylor holds his head in pain as he slowly staggers up. Red shoots a fist right into Taylor's face, pummeling the XF9er back to the corner. Red grabs Taylor by the wrist and whips him to the corner before racing in and swinging a hard right! YES! Red miscalculates her swing and Taylor takes the time to run up the corner before backflipping over Lady Red. And just as Taylor's falling, the High Flying Prince manages to deliver a dropkick into the backside of Lady Red's head before finally crashing to the mat.

"(Axis) What amazing acrobatic ability!"

"(Edwin) He timed it perfectly."

Taylor gets up, and attempts to go for the assault on Lady Red but his feet are quickly entangled by the JL Champ's enormous hands! K-Os pulls the Euro Champ out, and decks him with a hard right, staggering him past a fallen Ash Ketchum and a fallen Low Brass! K-Os grabs Taylor by the hair and throws him hard into the announcer's table! The High Flying Prince stumbles over, almost falling on to the laps of Axis and Edwin! K-Os strips the table of its padding before climbing up the table, only pain and suffering on his mind.

"(Axis) I guess we better move out of the way!"

"(Edwin) I guess so. This better be good."

K-Os grabs Erek Taylor by the hair and slides the head in between his legs. K-Os grabs Taylor around the waist and proceeds to flip the Euro Champ up! The fans' gasp with horror as K-Os prepares to waste Erek Taylor with a powerbomb through the table..... K-Os lifts Taylor up high and........

CRAAAAASSSSHHHH!!!! All eyes peel away from the damage but when they turn back, an unexpected thing! K-Os is through the table, head pierced with blood and Erek Taylor, dazed, slowly staggers up to his feet, trying to make it back into the ring. The replay on the Smarkstron shows everything: K-Os trying for the powerbomb but at the last second, Erek Taylor dazzles them all with a counter hurricaranna!

"(Axis) DEAR GOD!!!"

"(Edwin) That was amazing!!"

"(Axis) Couldn't have put it better myself."

Erek Taylor slides into the ring and crawls over Shawn Brody, as the referee scrambles down to make the count.

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE- NOOOOO!!! Lady Red interferes once again! The feminist Clanite pulls Erek Taylor off Shawn Brody, preventing The Clan from losing this one! Taylor angrily pushes off to his feet, much cheers from the fans. But the cheers quickly die down and swerve into hatred. Why? Taylor and Lady Red surprisingly looks around, up the ramp to find a figure racing down, wielding a steel chair in hand.

"(Axis) It's him! ONCE MORE!"

"(Edwin) SPIDER NEKURA!!!"

The Clanite Supreme Leader slides in, and raises the chair up high but drops it as Taylor delivers a boot to stun Nekura. Taylor tries for an assault but he is quickly brought down by Lady Red. The feminist holds Taylor by the arms as Nekura rises once again, and this time, there's no missing.

CLANG!!! Nekura floors Taylor and the referee sees it, trying to signal for the bell but he's just too slow.

CLANG!!! The referee goes down for all his troubles. Nekura rips off his robes, revealing a referee's tie-dye shirt! Lady Red nods in approval and goes down, covering Erek Taylor for the pin.

"(Axis) Spider Nekura has just put himself as the referee! This was a setup all along!!"

"(Edwin) NOOOOO!!! #### Clanites!!"

Nekura drops to his knees and quickly slaps the mat as fast as he can.

ONE!!

TWO!!

THRE- OOOOOOOOOH!!!! Ketchum grabs Lady Red by the leg and pulls her off Taylor before flooring her to the mat with a clothesline outside! Nekura growls in rage, racing forward and slingshotting off the ropes, colliding a dropkick with Ketchum's face! The impact sends Ketchum stumbling over the barricade into the stands. Nekura grabs Lady Red by the hair, showing no mercy to his enemies as well as his subjects, and rolls her back into the ring. Lady Red awakens in a second and obediently goes for the cover again.

ONE!!

TWO!!

THREE- OOOOOOOH!!! Nekura gets pulled out of the ring at the last second by the one and only, Low Brass!! Brass battles the Clanite Leader outside, but his experience proves inferior to that of the Clanite. Nekura blocks a shot and battles back with his own, pummeling Brass to the barricade.

"(Axis) Spider Nekura, the infamous Reaper, taking it to Low Brass. This is too one-sided!"

"(Edwin) OOooooOO, that Nekura just makes me so......"

"(Axis) So what?"

"(Edwin) SO ANGRY!"

Nekura tries to finish Brass off with a clothesline but Brass ducks under and spins around, decking Nekura with a ferocious right! Lady Red tries to help out, rolling out of the ring and knocking Brass from behind with a forearm. Even Brody takes part of the beating! Shawn Brody rolls out of the ring and proceeds with his fellow Clanites, taking it to Low Brass with shots of all sorts. Too into the beating, the Clanites don't even notice that Erek Taylor is slowly rising to his feet.

"(Axis) The fans are up, they're booing, they hate The Clan!"

"(Edwin) And who wouldn't? They've destroyed all hope that we possessed!"

Taylor breaks off into a desperation run, jumping on the top rope and leaping into the air! And for a split second, all motion stops as Taylor falls down at top speed, into the three Clanites, into the enemy, into the opposition, into Evil. Taylor knocks down all three Clanites with a cross body, saving Brass from anymore punishment. Brass wastes no time, taking Lady Red by the hair and tossing her into the stands. Brass then grabs Nekura and rolls the Clanite leader into the ring while Taylor does the same with Brody.

"(Axis) It's down to 2 on 2!"

"(Edwin) FAIR GAME!! That's what The Clan always hates!"

Nekura tries to battle back, his energy level still high, and succeeds. The Clanite Leader single handedly pummeling Erek Taylor and Low Brass back. Nekura grabs Taylor by the hair and throws him into Brass, knocking both XF9ers into the buckle. Nekura backs up and drags Brody back to his feet, ordering for an assault. Brody obediently follows, running in and knocking Brass and Taylor with a body splash. Brass staggers forward as Nekura squares up.

WHAM!! Nekura floors Brass with a superkick! The Clanite Leader squares up again as Taylor staggers forward. The Euro Champ proves no challenge as Nekura shoots up a kick at lightning speed......

BUT TAYLOR DUCKS UNDER!! Erek Taylor moves forward and snatches Nekura by the head and pulls the Clanite Leader down, head colliding with shoulder, and nails the Fame and Fury!!! The impact sends Nekura bouncing into the air until gravity takes over and pulls Nekura down. Taylor bounces right back up to his feet and ducks a Brody clothesline, spins around and drills Brody with a kick to the gut. At this point, the fans are going wild, beserk, deafening! Taylor grabs Brody by the head and wrenches it until their backs are face to face. And like his leader, Brody gets pulled down and gets drilled with the Fame and Fury. Brody, stunned, crumbles to the mat as Taylor rolls the junior Clanite over and goes for the cover.

"(Axis) EREK TAYLOR! FAME AND FURY TO NEKURA! FAME AND FURY TO BRODY!"

"(Edwin) But there's still no referee!!!"

"(Axis) NOOOOO!!!!"

"(Edwin) WAKE UP YOU #### MORON!!!"

Taylor looks up and there's no referee!! Taylor does the next best thing, grabbing Nekura by the hands and using it to slap the mat accordingly to the count! The crowds are wild as they scream the count........

ONE!!!

TWO!!!

THREE!!!

***Ding ding ding!!!***

"Operate, Annihilate" begins to play but it is faded by the sounds of the screaming fans. Erek Taylor rolls off Brody and lets go of Nekura's hand. Ash Ketchum slides in the ring, and to his surprise, gets handed the Stables Title, XF9's Stables Title. Ketchum raises it in the air and pumps up the crowds.

"(Funyon) THE WINNERS OF THIS MATCH AND THE LAST EVER SJL STABLES CHAMPIONS...... X FOOOOOORRRRRCCCCCEEEEE NNNIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEE!!!!!!"

"(Axis) They did it!!!"

"(Edwin) YESSS!!!!"

Ketchum tosses the belt aside, helping Brass to his feet as they roll out of the ring. Taylor follows after. Brass grabs the belt and nails it in front of his Honda, a symbol of victory, of good, of X Force 9.

"(Axis) After overwhelming odds, X Force 9 managed to pull out with the victory."

"(Edwin) It's like that sometimes."

"(Axis) Are you crying?"

"(Edwin) *sobbing* I'm just no good at these retirements....."

Taylor, Ketchum, and Brass all hop on their bikes, starting the engines and roaring up the crowds. They speed up the ramp and leave the arena like how they entered: a team, XF9ers, and more importantly, friends.

March 19, 2002

Quick n' dirty results!

Deathwish wishes death upon Cutthroat, and his wish comes true!

Brody calls out MVS for mean stuff and stuff!

Tom Flesher tableifies Z!

Kojack pulls a big upset over Ced!

Jobber crushers Johnny Generic and Mr. Galatea rape and pillage Xero, Mafia, MVS, and the Dark Reaper!

And XF9 are your final tag/stables champs!

Write matches, you losers!

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Sjl metal - tuesday, march 19th

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