Ever said anything you wish you'd take back

[Guest Pa|adin]

Marvel at my copy and paste skills! You may have read some of these before...

 

 

Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words

back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who

do....

 

 

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids

in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a

blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My

husband didn't say a word... he knew better. Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin,

TX

 

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I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was

unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for

several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen

who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking,

I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with

men's balls."

Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI

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Nuts about You

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store

that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the

boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm

just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the

boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my

sister has never let me forget. Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD

 

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While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler

decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able

to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from

other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right

now" she would be punished.

 

 

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice

just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell

Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence

was deafening after this enlightening exchange.

 

 

Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered

up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in

tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams

of laughter. Amy Richardson, Stafford, Virginia

 

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A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When

she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had

no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the

intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE

THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the

rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for

"THUMBTACKS."

 

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the

intercom.

"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE

KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

Diane E. Amov

 

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Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty

training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell

for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full

dining room.

 

 

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of

course I checked my seven-month-old daughter and she was clean. Then I

realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him

if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that

child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I

said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he

replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the

smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you

have an accident?"

 

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over

and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30

people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled

up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking

me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

 

=================

 

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days

and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future,

likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but

don't get any....a true story...

 

 

We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have

snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's

 

that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to

leave

the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

I sometimes speak before I think.

 

That's why I have this handy dandy Edit button.

[Guest Thoth]

I once asked someone for their grape soda my asking if I could drink their sweet purple liquid of power.

[Guest CED Ordonez]

"The Bemani Cross Wizards are dead."

 

Quite possibly will be taken back come May.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

"Ash Ketchum is in XF9? I'm THERE!!"

 

 

Note: I may have not actually said that.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

Note: Yes, you did.

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Not in that manner.