The Road to Anglemania II - 3/15/03

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOAST Road To AngleMania 2~!

March 18, 2003

 

Pyro explodes as the rabid fans go absolutely CRAZY for the start of OAOAST Road To AngleMania! We head over to our always-jubilant, always hip, and always happening announcers, Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman!

 

 

Cole: OH GOD MY Hello everyone and welcome to ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA! I’m Michael Cole…

Coach: AND I’M YOUR HIP AND HAPPENIN’ SAVIOR, WOMAN-PLEASIN’, CROWD APPEASIN’, MASTER DEBATOR, DA COACH~!

…

Cole: We are just TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM ANGLEMANIA, and I can’t BELIEVE IT!

Coach: Oh yeah, and today! Today is another action packed edition of WRESTLING. We will have appearances from The Superstar! Angle-plex! Spider-Poet!

Cole: As well as newcomers Kotzenjunge! The Mad Cappa! Puerto Rican Lightning! Undisputed! And don’t forget the main event! Evenflow vs. Sandman, in a BRA AND PANTIES MATCH!

Coach: I knew YOU’D be the one excited about that.

 

Undisputed vs. Dave Matrix

 

“Red” hits and the crowd gives a decent reaction for the newcomer, Undisputed. This is his OAOAST debut, as we saw a promo video for him on the IntenseZone. He’s wearing a blue-velvet, Team Angle-like warm up jacket, with short red tights underneath. He is extremely focused, and ready to do battle with his opponent.

 

Already in the ring is an odd-looking Dave Matrix. He has jet black hair, a long black trench coat, black shirt, and black pants, with a red pill on the anus.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Undisputed and Matrix circle each other, before locking up. Dave forces Undisputed into the corner, but we get a clean break. Dave tries whipping the newcomer to the ropes, but he telegraphs a backdrop, and Undisputed flips over him, and dropkicks him right in the back!

 

Cole: Great move by this rookie.

Coach: Would you STOP calling people rookies? They have more experience than you EVER will!

 

Matrix, fazed, tries charging at Undisputed, but showing strength he shouldn’t have, Undisputed gives Dave Matrix a big tilt-a-whirl slam! Undisputed runs to the ropes, and gives Dave a big senton splash. Cover gets two.

 

Coach: Undisputed is giving his larger opposition a run for his money in the early goings.

 

Undisputed sits on the second rope, waiting for Matrix to get up. When he does, he charges at Undisputed, but he sees this coming and flips over Matrix again. As Dave turns around, Undisputed catches him in a big CAPTURE SUPLEX! Trying to showcase his alleged toughness, Dave Matrix struggles right back to his feet, but walks into an Undisputed fisherman’s suplex! One, two, NO!

 

Cole: Matrix hasn’t gotten in ANY offense since the opening bell. It’s been ALL Undisputed.

Coach: I’m impressed, and he almost put Dave Matrix away right there.

 

As Undisputed picks up Dave, he gets an undetected low blow. Matrix runs to the corner and takes off the turnbuckle pad! However, Undisputed spins Matrix around, and attempts to hit the CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL! But wait, Matrix pushes Undisputed right into the exposed turnbuckle! As Undisputed is slumped in the corner, Matrix charges…but Undisputed moves! Matrix hits the steel bolt, and with cat-like quickness, Undisputed scales the other turnbuckle…MISSILE DROPKICK!!

 

Cole: Oh God My! What a move!

Coach: Undisputed calls that the FINAL ROUND, and that may very well be it!

 

Undisputed hooks a leg: ONE! TWO! THREE!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: Undisputed (via the Final Round)

 

Coach: What a win for the OAOAST newcomer, Undisputed.

Cole: If he keeps racking up wins like that, he’ll be “Championship Material” in no time!

 

(We see a darkened locker room where ZsasZ sits; he's dressed in an all-black suit with a purple necktie.)

 

Z: Reject, I've been to hell and back, and you're nothing but a stone in the road. At Angle-Mania, inside the greatest wrestling arena in the world; the Tokyo Dome, not only will I beat you. I will crush you, I will destroy your will to fight, I will make you suffer the shame I suffered, I WILL BREAK YOU! At Angle-Mania II, you and I will face each other...in a SUBMISSION ONLY MATCH. I will see you tap, I will hear you beg, I will know your pain. And if you can prove me wrong... I will leave the OAOAST FOREVER!

 

You think I fear you?

 

You think you know fear?

 

I *am* fear.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Cole: Well folks, we’re back, and what a chilling promo by ZsasZ!

Coach: Indeed. He could very well be the next OAOAST X Champion, come AngleMania.

 

THE MAD CAPPA VS. VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER

 

Virgin Island Thunder is already in the ring with a puzzled look on his face.

 

Final Audition plays on the speakers, but changes to Ode to Joy as The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco come out to boos! Cappa has a look of determination on his face.

 

Vince Rusco has the mic. He says, "Normally, I would be out here to talk to you morons, but I got more important matters to attend to!" The crowd boos! "Don't try me", Rusco says. "I said don't try me!" More boos from the crowd! "Screw you people! I've got something to say off my chest! Those two little punks on Monday just had to stick their noses in someone's business! You guys betta' realize just who you are dealing with! Cappa, I want you to visualize your opponent as if he was that Puerto Rican Lightning guy! Show no mercy!"

 

Cole: I can’t stand that Rusco guy. He needs to let Cappa do his own work in this company.

 

The Mad Cappa clotheslines Virgin Island Thunder as soon as the bell sounds! Cappa gets VI Thunder back up and Irish Whips him. VI Thunder bounces back into a dropkick from Cappa! Cappa then does a couple of legdrops. Cappa then climbs the turnbuckle and points down on VI Thunder. Cappa does a legdrop from the top turnbuckle! Instead of going for the cover, Cappa gets VI Thunder back up and debuts the Cappabomb! Cappa goes for the cover, but Cappa gets up at two while holding on VI Thunder for a snap suplex! Rusco is telling Cappa to do more new moves he learned to use on Puerto Rican Lightning. So, Cappa runs off the top turnbuckle and does a side swinging moonsault! The crowd goes, "oooooooo!"

 

Coach: WHAT AN AMAZING MOVE BY MAD CAPPA~! Oh my God, that’s gotta be it!

 

The Mad Cappa goes for the cover, but lets go at two to boos from the crowd! He tries to go for another snap suplex, but Virgin Island Thunder blocks it to cheers! So, Cappa then BUSTS A CAP! on VI Thunder! VI Thunder bounces off the mat from the impact of the BUSTS A CAP! So, Cappa uses the momentum into a Fall From Grace! Vince Rusco tells Cappa to continue the assault! Cappa gets VI Thunder back up. Cappa runs off the ropes, but runs right into a hurracanrana from VI Thunder! The crowd is cheering on for VI Thunder. However, Cappa bounces right back up and x-factors VI Thunder! Cappa gets VI Thunder back up, attempts to throw some punches, but VI Thunder blocks them all and does a Thunderkick on Cappa! VI Thunder then tries to do a Thunderclap, but Cappa ducks to kick him to the ropes! VI Thunder bounces off the ropes right into a rollup into a Walls of Jericho by Cappa! It looks like Cappa is going to win as Rusco celebrates on the outside!

 

Cole: There is NO WAY VI Thunder can escape from the Walls of Jericho! Cappa has this one in the bag!

 

Suddenly, the arena turns dark as a bolt of lightning hits the set! A Puerto Rican flag is dropped from the rafters! Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua show up on the entranceway as the lights turn back on! Vince Rusco is challenging them to come on down! The Mad Cappa lets go as he gets distracted!

 

Cole: How about they just leave Cappa alone?! Dammit, why did they have to show up?

 

Then, Virgin Island Thunder school boys Cappa: ONE…TWO…THREE~!

 

Cole & Coach: OH GOD MY!!

Coach: I just can’t believe it! Mad Cappa got beat by the…uh…

Cole: Jobber?

Coach: Yeah.

 

Winner: Virgin Island Thunder (via a fluke rollup)

 

The crowd cheers as The Mad Cappa has a shocked look on his face! Virgin Island Thunder quickly flees the ring! Cappa is pissed off! Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua run down to the ring. PR Lightning attempts a PR Nightmare on Cappa, but Vince Rusco comes in and smacks him with his cane! Then MR. Boricua punks out Rusco to cheers! PR Lightning and Cappa start brawling away! This goes on for a minute. Then suddenly, NazMistry runs in from the crowd and starts attacking PR Lightning! Cappa holds on PR Lightning as NazMistry attempts to kick PR Lightning. However, PR Lightning ducks as NazMistry kicks Cappa! Now NazMistry is attacking Cappa! It has now turned into a three-way! The security forces come in to break up the fight to boos! Rusco rolls Cappa back out to escape! NazMistry runs away from the security right back into the crowds! PR Lightning gets on the top turnbuckle and does a slow cut throat motion towards Cappa and Rusco!

 

Cole: It’s absolute CHAOS here at Road to Anglemania! Now, excuse me for being alone, but my colleague Coach just went to interview someone…I’m not sure who. Let’s go back there!

 

~DA COACH~ is standing by when a 1920' Roadster pulls up to his interview location. Stepping out into the lights is a man decked in a full color baby blue ZOOT SUIT~!

 

Daddy-O: How Ya Doin Coach?

 

Coach: Mighty fine there...say what's with the dress, are you a new talent to OaOasT?

 

Daddy-O: Coach, I will be before the night is out your favorite wrestler, and in time, everyone's party host. See, the OaOasT has lacked me. They've lacked my dancing.

 

Coach: Dancing?

 

Daddy-O: Yeah, you like to dance right? I saw you on Raw, doing the Charleston

 

Coach: Heck yeah

 

Daddy-O: How about an OaOasT first...Let's Charleston~! Somebody better call my Manager and turn on the music~

 

::Go Daddy-O plays as Coach and CPD get into position...and bam~ there goes the Charleston line...Coach is having a time of his life.::

 

Daddy-o: That's right, I'm here to teach everyone to dance~...and if any of these wrestlers think they’re more man than I, cause I've heard people he saying dancing is ghey~...well let them step right up so I can step all over them. Ernest~ Lets go!

 

::Ernest Miller pops out from the Roadster...looks at Coach "He Da Greatest!"::

 

Coach: There you have it, the newest Superstar on the OaOasT and my FAVORITE wrestler!

 

Cole: *Forced uncontrollable laughter*

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

The Mad Cappa, Vince Rusco, and Virgin Island Thunder are walking down the hallway backstage. Rusco keeps slapping VI Thunder on the back of his neck!

 

Vince Rusco: (Furious) "That was NOT part of the plan! Damn it, you were NOT supposed to win! I hired you to make my guy show how dangerous his new moves are! We were supposed to make fun of Puerto Rican Lightning by saying that The Mad Cappa can crush him! Not for YOU to win!"

 

Virgin Island Thunder: (In a thick Caribbean accent) "Hey man, I'm sorry! I really was knocked out by that guy's moves! I thought he was gonna' kick out of my pinfall attempt!"

 

The Mad Cappa: (Furious) "I got distracted by that damn lightning guy! He and that Naz Mistry fellow made a fool out of me again! I have to DO something about this!"

 

VR: "It was just like Monday when those same two dumbass yahoos stuck their noses in our business! Except, that this is worse! On Monday, that open challenge wasn't supposed to turn out that way! It was supposed to be your glorious hour! But NOOOOOOO! They decide to ruin it!"

 

TMC: "But what are we gonna' do?"

 

VR: "Don't worry. We are going to make them pay for messing with the wrong people!"

 

(Segment ends as the camera zooms on Vince Rusco.)

 

Cole: Yet another cryptic Rusco message! But hey Coach, how was it?

Coach: Oh man, I loved it, Cole! I haven’t had so much fun in my LIFE~!

 

Kotzenjunge vs. KingPK

 

The almost inaudible chatter of the arena is shattered as the lights go out and a voice says, "WHOO-AH HA HA HA!!!! YOU'VE JUST ENTERED A NEW DIMENSION OF SOUND... 'CAUSE TONIGHT... THE DEVIL IS A DJ!!!!" The arena is turned into a sea of strobes and laserlights as Kotzenjunge emerges onto the ramp, tracing intricate paths with his glowsticks. The crowd pops, but only because it's a pretty damn phat entrance. He dances all the way to the ring, then does the chain-sticking inside.

 

Grunts and groans, foreign to Kotzenjunge's usual music, are heard over the PA system. The AngleTron shows Max Zorin getting pounded in tune with the music! The music stops and Kotzenjunge runs back down the entranceway to the backstage area, but halfway down the ramp, Endo's "Malice" plays over the system, and out comes Kingpk!

 

Cole: Well, here comes Kingpk, but what’s that beating of Max Zorin all about?

 

Kotzenjunge almost crashes right into him, but begins to back off, and eventually turns and runs back to the ring.

 

Coach: I think the Dream Machines want an easy 3-on-1 advantage over Kotzenjunge!

 

He slides in, with Kingpk following close behind, so he just slides out the other side and keeps running after hesitating for a moment, during which the bell rings while both men are in the ring.

 

Cole: The match HAS BEGUN~!

Coach: This should be a great contest.

 

As Kingpk chases Kotzenjunge around the ring, the other two Dream Machines come out. Kotzenjunge VERY audibly says "OH SHIT!" and starts to run back towards the ring, but Kingpk is in his path. The entrance ramp is blocked by the Dream Machines. THE BELL RINGS? The referee has counted both men out!

 

Cole: WHAT THE…?! I had completely forgot that the match HAD BEGUN~!

Coach: And it’s a shame. This could’ve been a great contest.

 

This prompts Kotzenjunge to pull out his chained glowsticks in an attempt to defend himself. He rushes at the Machines. He nails Shattered Dreams with a glowstick to the face, but LaParkaYourCar catches him from behind and delivers a DAY OF THE DEAD~! on the entrance ramp!

 

Coach: That move is called the DAY OF THE DEAD, and hell, Kotzenjunge may very well BE dead after that!

 

Shattered Dreams gets back up and spits on Kotzenjunge's limp body on the ramp. They all leave, with Kingpk laying in some heavy boots before he leaves.

 

Cole: That makes me sick to my stomach. Damn those Dream Machines to hell!

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Puerto Rican Lightning (w/ Mr. Boricua) vs. K-Ness

 

A Lightning bolt hits the entrance and pyro goes off. "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts as the crowd begin booing. Out from smoke comes Puerto Rican Lightning along with Mr. Boricua as the crowd welcomes him with boos. P.R. just sneers at the crowd and begins walking to the ring cool and cocky as if he ruled the world. He does a gum swat and enters the ring but not before sneering at the crowd. He enters the ring and does the HBK ring pose as pyro goes off behind him. He climbs a turnbuckle and poses than grabs a microphone.

 

He sneers at the crowd one more time as the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" P.R. Lightning covers his ears as he tries to drown out the boos. Mr. Boricua helps him out but P.R. regroups and begins to speak.

 

"Now before I crush my first insignificant spect in the OAOAST, I just like to say one thing: NazMistry, you had NO RIGHT! NO RIGHT! To come and interfere in my match against Mad Cappa last Monday on IntenseZone! You're suppose to be retire! What were you doing in the damn building in the first place!"

 

The crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as Puerto Rican Lightning sneers and Mr. Boricua stands around looking menacing.

 

"A word of warning, you no-good piece of crap. Next time, you interfere in my buisness, me and Mr. Boricua will tear you limb from limb and you'll retire crippled!"

 

Crowd boos.

 

"And as for you Mad Cappa, ha! I showed you you were nothing on IZ didn't I? I showed the world what happens when you step in the ring with Puerto Rican Lightning and now tonight, I will continue in my quest to become the OAOAST Champion! And as for your manager, Vince Rusco, I feel sorry for you. You deserve to be managing a world class athlete. Someone with a future. Maybe if I weren't with Mr. Boricua, I'd let you be my manager. But alas, you're with some weak punk. *Sigh*Oh well, maybe the next time me and Cappa meet, I'll MAKE HIM into a world class athlete after he has a P.R. Nightmare! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!

 

The crowd boos and begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!"

 

"Now, bring on my next victim."

 

Cole: P.R. Lighting is nothing but trash!

Coach: *Chants “P.R. Sucks!” with the crowd*

 

The lights go out and Trans Magic hits and the crowd pops as K-Ness enters. A blue spotlight centers on K-Ness as the crowd cheers. Puerto Rican Lightning is shown laughing at his oppoent along with Mr. Boricua. Meanwhile, in their lockerroom, Vince Rusco and The Mad Cappa are shown watching the match. K-Ness enters the ring and poses for the crowd then removes the black towel around his neck and throws it to the crowd. The bell rings and we're under way.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning removes his Puerto Rican FUBU jersey and hands it to Mr. Boricua then moves around the ring keeping his eyes on K-Ness the whole time. He trashtalks to K-Ness than laughs but K-Ness flips him off making the crowd pop.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning and K-Ness lockup. P.R. gets a headlock and trashtalks to the crowd, but K-Ness throws Lightning to the ropes. P.R. comes back with a leapfrog, follow by a reverse leapfrog, then gives K-Ness an armdrag. K-Ness gets up and P.R. Lightning hits a dropkick on him sending him out of the ring.

K-Ness regroups, but Mr. Boricua gives him a forearm to the back. He begins beating down on K-Ness but suddenly he comes back with several shots to the face. Then P.R. Lightning jumps on the top rope and does a tope sucicida on both K-Ness and Mr. Boricua!

 

Cole: WHAT A MANUEVER!

Coach: That was absolutely DELICIOUS~!

 

(The camera cuts back to Vince Rusco and Mad Cappa watching on the monitor.)

 

P.R. Lightning and K-Ness are both down on the floor. Both begin to get up with Puerto Rican Lightning being up first. He grabs K-Ness but K-Ness kicks P.R. in the gut and gives him a dropkick. K-Ness grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and whips him to the stairs with Lightning hitting his knee on the steps. Ness grabs Lightning again by his dreadlocks and whips to the other set of stairs but P.R. reverses and Mr. Boricua gives him a clothesline that spins him around before falling to the floor!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning throws K-Ness back into the ring and does a Vertical suplex on K-Ness follow by a cover.

 

1....2...Kick Out!

 

Coach: Damn that Mr. Boricua! Can’t he let this match go fairly?

 

Puerto Rican than does a Sharpshooter! K-Ness is in pain! The crowd encourages K-Ness to crawl to the ropes. He begins to crawl but P.R. pulls him back.

 

K-Ness crawls again and grabs the ropes. He relaxes on the ropes for a few seconds. Just enough time for P.R. Lightning to come back with a 6-1-9!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning covers for a pin.

 

1..2..Nope Kick out.

 

Cole: Close near fall there.

 

P.R. gets a crazed look in his eyes as the fans begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Puerto Rican Lightning covers his ears to drown out the noise.

 

He grabs K-Ness and whips him to the turnbuckle. He follows up with a Stinger Splash! He whips him to the other turnbuckle but K-Ness reverses and Puerto Rican Lightning does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! He stands up and points to his head and saids "You see that Mad Cappa! I'm smart!" But K-Ness clotheslines him and P.R. is flat on the mat.

 

Coach: Ha! P.R. Lighting…SMART? You’ve got to be kidding me!

Cole: That’s like saying my penis is big!

…

Coach: Um…yeah.

 

K-Ness grabs Puerto Rican Lightning as the camera cut to Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco watching the match. Dragon Screw Leg Whip! He grabs P.R. Lightning again and does a Western Lariat! Cover.

 

1..2..Kickout!

K-Ness covers again.

1..2..

K-Ness tries AGAIN!

1..2...Kickout.

 

K-Ness grabs Puerto Rican Lightning and applies a Dragon Sleeper! Puerto Rican Lightning looks like he's about to submit. The referee grabs his arm. It falls. 1. He grabs it again. It falls. 2. He grabs it again, but it DOESN'T fall and Puerto Rican Lightning fights back to a chrous of boos. He whips K-Ness to the ropes and comes back with a spinning heel kick! Cover. 1..2..Kick out!

 

Coach: What athleticism in this contest!

 

A boot to the face and P.R. Lightning jumps off the ropes. Asai Moonsault! 1..2..No! Puerto Rican has a look of frustration on his face. He decides to head to the top rope. He takes off his right elbow pad. He does the "Up Yours!" sign to the crowd and follows with an elbowdrop off the top rope. The FU Elbowdrop! Cover. 1..2..Kick Out!

 

Cole: Well, that wasn’t very nice.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning begins to cry but Mr. Boricua tells him to control himself. The crowd begins chanting "K-Ness! K-Ness! K-Ness!" Puerto Rican Lightning does the Shinning Wizard on K-Ness. He grabs K-Ness and whips him to the ropes and follows with a Flying Forearm! P.R. goes to the corner and waits for K-Ness to get up. When he does, Puerto Rican Lightning comes back with another flying forearm! P.R. Lightning gets up and gets in position to nail K-Ness with another Flying Forearm! He picks up K-Ness by his head, Irish whips him to the ropes and hits ANOTHER Flying Forearm! Then he kips up! He yells to the crowd "That's It!" And heads to a corner. He begins stomping his foot 'ala Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3.

 

Cole: Here we go, this could be it!

 

He continues stomping his foot as the crowd showers him with boos. K-Ness gets up, and Puerto Rican Lightning goes for the Sweet Chin Music! However, K-Ness grabs his left foot, and does the enziguri on Puerto Rican Lightning!

 

Coach: K-Ness is NOT out of the picture yet, folks!

 

K-Ness heads to the top...and comes back with a top rope legdrop! K-Ness grabs him up and begins doing Rolling Back Suplexes! The crowd counts along with each suplex. He then does a Jugigatame follow by a High Angle Exploder. P.R. Lightning does a Flair Flop. He signals to the crowd that he is about to do his finishing move. However, Mr. Boricua gets on the apron and begins arguing with the referee. This allows Puerto Rican Lightning enough time to get up. He sneaks up behind K-Ness....and delivers the P.R. Nightmare on him!!!

 

Cover: 1...2...3. Puerto Rican Lightning Wins!

 

Cole: Wow, what a match! I’m impressed with both of these rising stars.

 

Winner: Puerto Rican Lightning (via the P.R. Nightmare)

 

("Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine plays. Puerto Rican Lightning looks at the camera and begins talking trash about The Mad Cappa. The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco are shown leaving their dressing room.)

 

P.R. is about to leave the ring, but he sees K-Ness, weak and beaten, and, after talking to Mr. Boricua, begins beating down on K-Ness! He puts the boots to him. He gives K-Ness another P.R. Nightmare. He then follows with a STF or as he calls it The Annexation of Puerto Rico!

 

Cole: STOP THE PAIN~!

 

Suddenly, the crowd begins to cheer, as Mad Cappa runs in to the ring and begins beating on Puerto Rican Lightning!

 

TMC does the BUST A CAP and the Fall From Grace on P.R.!!!

 

Suddenly, the crowd cheers AGAIN! Naz Mistry shows up and runs into the ring to beat on Mad Cappa! He and TMC engage in a slugfest!

 

However, NazMistry is low-blowed by Puerto Rican Lighting. P.R. gives NazMistry the P.R. Nightmare!

 

P.R. tells Mad Cappa to help him beat up Naz. TMC is hesistant but Rusco persuades him and Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa do a beatdown on NazMistry!

 

TMC scoops up Naz, and P.R. follows with the Hart Attack Clothesline! P.R., TMC, Mr. Boricua, and Vince Rusco stand tall over the fallen Naz Mistry as they are showered with boos from the crowd. "Final Audition" plays but changes to "Ode To Joy" as Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa leave the ring seperately.

 

Coach: CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS!

Cole: I can’t believe it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, earlier this week we caught up with Spiderpoet. What follows is an extremely emotional and moving interview. We hope you enjoy it.

 

::Scene opens with SP sitting in his hotel room, presumably after some OAOAST event recently. The view is behind him, as he looks into a mirror, rubbing his face. We cannot see his face, as his long hair is somewhat frizzed, and our view is directly behind so the mirror's reflection is blocked. The room is dark, and the only light is coming from candles set strategically around. The poet continues to rub his face::

 

"Masks. Some of us in this business wear them all the time. It's part of how we present ourselves in the show. Nothing more. Nothing less. It is a tool of the suspension of disbelief, an aid that we provide our audience free of charge. We say, 'I am not a mortal man. I am immortal, I flip and kick and I fall from such heights. My body is sacrificed everytime I walk through the curtain, upon an altar built of tables, ladders, chairs, barbed wire, and a squared circle. Built upon the base of thousands of people's hopes and fears in the arena and at home watching."

 

::Poet stops and sets a bristled sponge down on the table. He picks up a nearby towel and gently pats the side of his face he has presumably scrubbed the face paint off of. He sets the towel down and picks the sponge back up again, and begins scrubbing the other side of his face.::

 

"And we fly. We soar, and we eventually come crashing back down. Dandy and I did this, and we did it well. We gave our all for the OAOAST several times over, and the fans turned their backs on us. Called us names. We showed them. We picked one of them, we projected each and every fan in the world onto him, and then we beat him down. We beat him bloody, yes we did. And it was fun. It was a release! I . . . enjoyed it. How dare they, after our battles with Jingus and Eskimo . . . how dare the fans ever down us. How dare the fans ever judge what we did, what we do.

 

"And then there are the others I give myself for. Once, I did not wear a mask. Oh, no. Once I wrestled with my face free! And I fell in love and I had my big chance and I still could not find fulfillment. Something I could not grasp. I could not lie flat on my back night after night, the BUTT of an orchestrated joke. I had to leave, to strike out on my own. And my heart bled. Oh, how did it bleed, it bled so well. So red, so thick, and when it splattered on the ground of my soul, it ran in streaks . . . it ebbed and flowed together and I saw my destiny. The spider's web. I would fly, I would crawl, I would be too fast both in the ring and in my words, and I would spin a web for my enemies. Yes . . . this was my destiny. This was my mask. I could not, would not hurt any longer. I would go on, I would prevail. I would wear my mask proudly, not only as a cover . . . but as my weapon. If I didn't have to feel . . . it was one less hindrance to keep me from my goals."

 

::SP finishes scrubbing and sets the bristled sponge down. He picks up the towel again and pats his face dry. When we set it down, we see not the paint he normally wears but a darker shade of red. Blood.::

 

"Altars . . . Heavens. Immortality. Salvation. At AngleMania, I will construct an altar to pain, to sacrifice, to hopelessness."

 

::SP gets up, still hiding his face, and walks back in the motel room, and kneels down beside a bed where Black Widow sleeps peacefully. He whispers.::

 

"I will build an altar to love. And above it, will suspend my salvation. It will be so terrible and beautiful at the same time. Dandy and I shall sacrifice Jingus and Eskimo inside this altar. My actions will be sacrifices for love, and for salvation. Yes, they will. And I will climb to the top, and I will cling to my salvation like the precious thing it is. It will be an act that will ultimately be so brutal that it will be hard to believe. I will crawl from this altar and I will hug my woman. I will wear my salvation and it will shine as gold, and I will leave the bodies of my enemies strewn in this altar. And the world will know . . . "

 

::The camera pans around, and we see SP's face now. It has no paint but it is still red . . . scrubbed bloody.::

 

" . . . that the mask has come off."

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

The Superstar vs. Hedge

 

Coach: And the hits just KEEP ON COMIN’~! Here we have the man who VOWS to retire Tony the Body at AngleMania, the Superstar!

 

“Big Long Now” hits and there’s an initial pop, but it immediately turns into showers of boos as The Superstar makes his way to the ring. He’s decked out in a Tony “The Body” t-shirt, with a big X through it. He calmly steps into the ring to face Hedge, which is NOT Edge, in case you were wondering.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Superstar immediately rushes Hedge, and gives him a big clothesline. He whips Hedge into the ropes, and as he comes back, hits a big SPINNING DDT! Without hesitation, Superstar picks up Hedge and gives him a gut wrench suplex. Superstar then picks up the left leg of Hedge, and kicks it a few times.

 

Cole: Well, I guess we know the target of Superstar for this match.

 

Superstar gives the jobber a dragon screw leg whip, and locks in a spinning toe hold. Hedge tries to fight it, but Superstar just lets go. Superstar with a cross corner whip, but a blind charge meets boot, and Superstar stumbles backwards! Hedge with a dropkick!

 

Coach: DON’T COUNT HEDGE OUT!

Cole: I don’t think so…my money’s on the guy I actually know about.

 

Hedge waits in the corner, apparently for a SPEAR~! However, as he charges, Superstar moves, and Hedge goes tumbling outside of the ring! Superstar laughs, and decides to let Hedge be counted out.

 

Coach: What’s the matter? It’s not like he’s afraid of Hedge.

 

The ref counts: 1…2…3…4…5…6…7…Superstar decides against it, and goes to the outside. He brings Hedge back into the ring, and gives him a GERMAN SUPLEX! He picks him up and gives him a KNEEBUSTER! Finally, as Hedge is doubled over, Superstar runs to the ropes…THE DOWNFALL~!

 

Cole: THE DOWNFALL! That’s it folks, count that man out.

 

One!

 

Two!

 

Thr-NO! WTF?! Superstar lifts Hedge up at two, and instead, goes to his legs…INDIAN DEATHLOCK~! After 5 seconds of screaming in pain, Hedge TAPS OUT!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Winner: The Superstar (via an Indian Deathlock)

 

Coach: Well, there you go, another win for The Superstar as he heads into AngleMania.

Cole: I can’t WAIT until Tony finally shuts that man up for good. And it WILL happen!

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

::scene fades in from commercial to the inside of a lockerroom, where a woman is leaning on a medium sized desk. Her dark blonde hair is tied into pig tails, and she appears to be wearing a SCHOOL GIRL OUTFIT!~. She is looking at a clipboard and is talking into a cell phone. Yes, it's JOSIE!~::

 

Josie: "...So basically, it would be best if you got the signing on a Friday instead of Monday...what do you mean someone already has that spot booked?"

 

::Josie pauses and listens. Her eyes suddenly go wide::

 

Josie: "ANGLESAULT?! You booked Anglesault to sign on that day instead of My client?! How in the hell do you expect to get any business with him?!"

 

::She listens again::

 

Josie: "SO?! He's the OAOAST Champion, woooooow! Nobody cares about him! He's washed up! My client is the fucking future, and you give ANGLESAULT, of all people, a signing on Friday?! Well Fuck you! Lets see how well Anglesault will get customers at your run-down establishment!"

 

::Her face turns even more angry as she listens::

 

Josie: "Oh yeah, THAT'S mature...Fuck off"

 

::Josie angrily pushes a button on the phone and slams it down on the desk. She quickly picks up a pen and starts crossing off something on the clipboard::

 

Josie: "Anglesault...jesus christ, does Anybody have class anymore?"

 

::suddenly the door opens. Josie looks up and smiles slightly. She slowly stands and walks over towards....THE TEMP!~. Yes, the temp that put the moves on her awhile back is now wearing a neck brace, a cast on his arm, and is sporting some major black eyes. He tries not to look at Josie while he speaks::

 

Temp: "Was that him?"

 

Josie, in an innocent voice!~: "Was that who?"

 

Temp: "C'mon...please don't mess with me...do you know when he'll be arriving?"

 

Josie, seductively: "Why...yes...let me just...reach over here and get this chart..."

 

::Josie slowly bends over the desk, picking up the clipboard. Her skirt rises slightly, and the temp starts to sweat. She turns back around and smiles seductively at him::

 

Josie: "He should be here in Sixty...Nine...minutes..."

 

::Josie smiles seductively as the temp closes his eyes, now sweating profusely. She slowly moves closer to him. Her breasts now close to his face::

 

Josie: "Anything...else...I can do for you?"

 

Temp: "....no...please...no..."

 

::Josie smiles as she takes his hand, then quickly puts it on her ASS!~. The temp has a look of fear on his face as Josie's face switches from seductive to scared::

 

Josie: "What are you doing?! No! HELP!"

 

::suddenly, the door swings open and in walk PAUL LONDON!~ and AJ STYLES!~. The Temp looks at them in complete horror as he pulls his hand off of Josie. Josie backs away, slightly cowering::

 

Josie: "Please...get him out of here!"

 

Paul: "With pleasure..."

 

AJ: "C'mon, Perv!"

 

::AJ and Paul quickly grab the temp and pull him off camera. The camera then switches to Josie as she smiles wide. A blood curdling scream is heard of camera. Josie chuckles slightly::

 

Josie: "Ahhhh...that was fun..."

 

::The screen fades to black as she goes back behind the desk::

 

Angle-plex vs. Unnamed Jobber~~~!

 

3…2…1...WHOO HOO~! “Song 2” blares through the arena and the crowd goes crazy for Angle-plex! He comes out, kisses his bicep, and immediately goes after the unnamed one.

 

AP hits a clothesline on the jobber! And another one! STALLING VERTICAL SUPLEX~!

 

Coach & Cole: FEEL~ THE BLOOD RUSHING TO THE HEAD~!

 

Agnes drops an elbow on jobber, and pins him, but as the ref begins counting, AP gets off and starts doing PUSH-UPS~ in the referee’s face! AP whips Jobber into the ropes…belly to belly overhead suplex! He picks him up, POWERBOMB! Finally, AP kisses his bicep, and as Jobber gets up…THE MUSHROOM CLOUD~!

 

Coach: Angle-plex is GOD!

Cole: …and the NEXT OAOAST CHAMPION~!

 

AP covers:

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

Cole: As if there was any doubt!

 

Winner: Angle-plex (via the Mushroom Cloud)

 

After the match, Angle-plex grabs a mic!

 

“Anglesault, you actually think you can beat DA BOMB~? I’m the most popular OAOAST Superstar evaaaa, and I’m destined to thrill cause I got mad skill! Anglesault, there’s only 2 weeks until AngleMania. Tick tock, tick tock. Your time is up, so suck my Co-“

 

Coach: WHOA WHOA WHOA! Let’s not start that again.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

MAIN EVENT TIME~~!

 

Evenflow DDT vs. Sandman9000

BRA AND PANTIES MATCH

 

Coach: Well folks, this match will be…

Cole: MOST UNIQUE.

Cole: Enjoy it…without our Commentary!

 

"I'm Only Shooting Love" hits and the crowd erupts into laughter as evenflowDDT, a bit bothered, and rather confused, heads down the ramp.

 

Fink

"The following contest, because no one demanded it, is a braaaaa and panties match! Making his way to the ring, evenflow D-D-T!"

 

evenflowDDT hits ringside and grabs a mic.

 

evenflowDDT

"Wait a second, wait one damn second! Sandman, did YOU sign us up for this match? Because I know I didn't. I wouldn't degrade myself in such a disgusting spectacle. And yet my name appears right on the dotted line. Yours does too. Coincidence? Hmmmm, I think just for tonight we should put aside our differences and get back at one man... the only man with the money, the backstage pull, and yet the cowardice who's afraid to face e..."

 

"White America" cuts him off, as Sandman, always hungry for blood, and even hungrier for his arch-nemesis', rushes down the ramp with his typical menagerie of razor-blade-dotted-barbed-wire-coated-explosive-light-tubes, ready to rip not just clothing, but flesh as well. With a maniacal glare in his eyes, he's all set to make this the first ever HARDCORE bra & panties match, when he's ambushed by... the XPW Tag Champs Youthanazia!

 

Youthanazia catch Sandman off-guard, and rush to the ring to perform some devastating high-risk maneuvers, but the only risk involved here is on the top rope, which breaks due to their incompetence, sending both men tumbling to the floor! Now having no basis for being "hardcore", both men brush themselves off and leave, but Sandman recovers quickly, and shows them the true meaning of "Xtreme" with razor-blade-dotted-barbed-wire-coated-explosive-light-tube shots to the back! Being "fake hardcore" pusses and all, the "team" goes down quick, and Sandman has TWO BELT~! once more. Rather than disgrace himself with these trashy titles, however, he gathers a handful of shattered glass and a handful of tacks from the remains of the tubes, places them on Josh's crotch, applys tag belt, and stomps. Repeatedly. Josh screams and eventually goes hoarse, while his tights become soaked with blood and other fluids from his... nether regions. The in-house crowd is disgusted, the ratings go up, and the network executives faint at their desks at the spectacle occurring on this "Saturday night family show". Sandman's not done however, he has ONE BELT~! left, as well as ONE SELL-OUT~! How convenient... the man formerly known as M Dogg 20, the worm currently known simply as "Matt", begins to stir, but Sandman is quick to drill him with a yakuza kick, sending him into the ring barrier. Sandman finds a table conveniently at ringside (in a bra and panties match?!), and whips several more razor-blade-dotted-barbed-wire-coated-explosive-light-tubes out of his pants (so THAT'S where he keps them) and places them on the table. Matt tries to get up, but Sandman keeps him down with boot scrapes until he can drag the groggy "Matt" onto the table. Sandman climbs up the ring steps, up to the top rope, CORK SCREW MOONSAULT! Matt is impaled on the tacks whilst simultaneously shattering the glass and being forced through wood onto concrete. And you thought YOU'D have a bad hangover Sunday morning? Sandman spits on the other XPW Tag Belt, and tosses it into the crowd, the only thing he hates almost as bad as XPW, and takes a breather.

 

Meanwhile, evenflowDDT keeps talking in the ring, about Zack Malibu or something, but really, who wants to hear somebody bitch and whine when you can see Sandman destroy two men? evenflowDDT has finally had enough, slipping out of the ring, and sneaking up behind his foe, making a grab at his shirt. Sandman instinctually grabs his hand, as if to say "I don't swing that way..." evenflowDDT smirks and runs, straight into... a ZAKC ATTACK~! waht now pukn? teh numbah-1 smarkz on da intrenet maeks a big debut givin evenfLOSER da dropkix of dooooooooooooom cuz itz n my touhg enouhg contract i gota do dat moev n evenfLOSER gotz 2 sell n da devastatin-dot-BICTH~! headscizzerz onto da concerte evenfLOSER triez 2 regane som efootin agenst da n00b and catchez me off gaurd w a spinebustre and goez up top for a forg splash but gess what evenfLOSER u sux so bad it only getz FORE STARZ n ZA EAZLY dodgz. evenfLOSERs haed iz busetd open n i garbz a mic n sez "WAHT NOW~? U KNO Y U DUN GET NO SPOTLIHGT?!?!?! NOT CUZ ZACK STOLEZ IT CUZ UVE ALWAYZ MAD SUXED~!" n den i gievs evenfLOSER some rihgt handz ! "DIS IS FOR MY MANI MAN ZACK DA KING MACK WHO WORKZ BETTAH DEN U~!" i addz an extar closed fist cuz THATS A SHOOT BRUTAH~! n den im abotu 2 laeve but den i getz a sikc smile and lookz under da ring for da supah-dupah-fly-HARDKOAR-KOAR-KOAR spachula i found in bpps dresing room befor da show n i stix it in evenfLOSERS mouth cuz datz BRUTAL n ax handel down on it sendin teeht n blood flyin n evenfLOSESR cryz liek a baby so i pikc up his teeth n SHOEV DEM IN IHS "IZ" n sez "WWW-DOT-HOTSULTTYXXXGAYNEWZ-DTO-CUM TAHTZ A TAESTE OF WAT IM GONA DO 2 U AT ANGELMANIA!" n den i laevez n comz bakc for da cahtchfraze cuz smarkz liek me kno if u getz a cachtcfrase u getz a puhs so wiht oen mo soht i hitz mah own evenfolw ddZ (dun diss zack!) n sez "BICTH~!" n da crodw goez OMG~! IM A STUPED MARKZ BUT DAT WAS AWESOME n i jest waeve n LOL n laeve thru da corwd liek ddp.

 

It isn't shortly after Sandman sent evenflowDDT into, erm, that that he feels another grab, this time at his pants. He spins around in disgust and finds himself toe-to-toe with the Hardcore Homo, XPW's Angel! A freaked out Sandman shoves him away into the ring-steps, but Angel comes back for more, locking Sandman in the French Tongue-Lock! Sandman looks about to submit from the pain, but he breaks the hold with a razor-blade-dotted-barbed-wire-coated-explosive-light-tube-shot to the crotch! But Angel... likes it? And keeps pawing for Sandman, who lashes out with some desperate kicks and somehow applies the H8 Lock, but Angel... likes it? Sandman then holds his breath and sticks his hand into Angel's pockets, and whips out a cell phone? He dials a number, then makes Angel "deep-throat" the phone, but Angel... likes it? Suddenly a mock-SWAT-team dressed in black rushes down the ramp and subdues Angel with tazers, but Angel... collapses from endless orgasms of pleasure! The team unmaskes themselves - it's GLAAD! They thank Sandman for reporting this blatantly homophobic gimmick and match and go along their merry little way. Sandman shrugs his shoulders and turns to see his opponent still unconscious from that vicious fan-boy assault. The match hasn't even officially started yet, so he drags evenflow's body into the ring hoping to end this embarrassment, totally oblivious to yet ANOTHER interferer coming in through the crowd, this time it's....

 

SHANE DOUGLAS~! The crowd, sitting on the edge of their hands in all this confusion, erupts for The Franchise! Since the match isn't going anywhere, we cut backstage where a passing Zack Malibu drops what he's doing and runs up to the monitor! He screams at the top of his lungs, and calls up Alison on his cell phone, and from her secret hiding place we can hear her screaming too! And Zack MARKS THE FUCK OUT as Shane gives Sandman a single-arm DDT and a belly to belly suplex! But evenflowDDT recovers, and pulls Shane off Sandman and brings him crashing to the mat with a German suplex! He then busts out a Primadonna, and the camera cuts back to Zack watching the monitor, who becomes FURIOUS! He grabs the monitor and tosses it across the room and dashes off!

 

Meanwhile, Sandman starts to recover, and evenflowDDT turns to face him. The two are face to face, and evenflowDDT offers... an UNEASY HANDSHAKE? Huh? Sandman extends his hand... but both retract and start double-teaming Shane Douglas! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WTF? Are these two arch enemies working together for this one match? Sandman removes two more razor-blade-dotted-barbed-wire-coated-explosive-light-tubes from his pants, handing one to evenflow, when "Die Another Day" BLASTS OVER THE HOUSE SPEAKERS and one PISSED OFF PREP runs into the ring, blasting both men with one School's Out! He rushes to help Shane Douglas to his feet! Shane Douglas is up, but motions to Zack to turn around... both men barely miss razor-blade-dotted-barbed-wire-coated-explosive-light-tube shots! Both look at each other, and each grab one of their foes - stereo PITTSBURGH PLUNGE & POP DROP~! Shane keeps Sandman down as Zack rips off evenflow's shirt, waves it around, and tosses it into the crowd to a huge pop! He grabs a nearby mic:

 

"Hey buddy, if I'm the coward - why are YOU the one with the yellow belly? I ain't touching the pants, I'm not THAT desperate to see your yellow streak. See you at Anglemania."

 

Zack drops the mic as he and Shane leave the ring! evenflow gets up, fuming, and shakes his fist and shouting threats, but Sandman is back to his feet and lunges at evenflow as we go off the air! Some things will never change...

 

Cole: INCREDIBLE. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.

Coach: But that’s all for this week. Folks, we hope you’ve enjoyed this crazy week, and we’ll see you next Saturday. Remember TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM ANGLEMANIA~!

 

[Guest The Superstar]

Leave feedback HERE PLEASE~!

 

Director

 

The Superstar

 

Writers

 

The Superstar

The Mad Cappa

EvenflowDDT~~!

Scott Keith's Biggest Fan

SpiderPoet

MrZsasZ

What?

Kotzenjunge

Big POPPA~ Popick

Undisputed

 

©2003 OAOAST Productions

[Guest SP-1]

Good show all around. LOL, a Jobber won for once!

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

A good show that was almost great. I find the use of real wrestlers in the OAOAST to be very bush-league. I wish we could be a bit more serious.

 

 

But on the whole, a very good show.

[Guest The Superstar]

Chill out...we're doing this for fun. RTA isn't even a "Serious" show anyway...just look at the main event! I think the inclusion of WWE/implied WWE characters adds flavor to the show and makes it more interesting.

[Guest SP-1]

I used HHH to add an air of continuity to SP and to provide motivation for future events. *shrugs*

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Chill out...we're doing this for fun. RTA isn't even a "Serious" show anyway...just look at the main event! I think the inclusion of WWE/implied WWE characters adds flavor to the show and makes it more interesting.

I'm not angry. I know we don't always need to be serious. I was just saying that I find it preferbale to use OAOAST characters, especially with the recent influx of new talent.

 

If you feel differently; that's fine.

[Guest The Superstar]

Well, with this show, just like Tony's WCW was when OAOAST started, we just build people up. Besides SKBF vs. K-Ness, these matches are designed to be Wrestler vs. Jobber in order to build the person up. What good would, say, Cappa serve on the show if he was beaten by Angle-plex? This way, everyone benefits.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Even if you use them for the express purpose of jobbing, you could argue that the just creating a fictional "Jobber X" type would make it easier for someone to take the actual match seriously because using celebs inevitably turns into a bashing session for that guy.

 

 

As I said, if you feel differently that's fine. I don't think it hurts the show *too* much.

[Patty O'Green 0]

SP's promo was great. It almost makes me wish my character was a serious one. Almost.

[Guest The Superstar]

Now for ME~ to leave feedback.

 

I thought this was a great RTA show, probably our best one yet. "Match" of the night goes to EVENFLOW~~~~~!!!!!!!!!! for the hilarious and amazing bra and panties match. Zack Attack~! Surely will be going placez! "Segment" of the night goes to SpiderPoet for his outstanding promo. Solid effort by everyone, and thanks for contributing.

[Guest Angle-plex]

I thought this was a great RTA show, probably our best one yet.

No way. The one I posted was obviously the best. This one was very good though.

 

Seven Thumbs Up.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

I'm definitely impressed with SpiderPoet's promo, I enjoyed it a lot.

 

I told this to Superstar on AIM, and I honestly believe this is my "best match". It's by far the one I've had the most fun writing. The reason I used real wrestlers for all the interference was simple: I hate it when people misrepresent me, so I don't want to misrepresent anyone (err, lest that statement be amazingly hypocritical and ironic, anyone who knows me who could possibly care) without their permission, and since I wrote that main event at 2:30PM on Friday afternoon (damn you finals! I wanted to write it earlier in the week), I decided to have all the interference be from XPW guys (which I shouldn't have to explain to anyone who knows Sandman) and from Zack Malibu and ZACK ATTACK~! because I got permission from them beforehand.

 

That being said, I wonder if ZACK ATTACK~! has the balls to give a FAIR assessment of his own performance. Because that has to be one of the worst beatdowns I've ever taken. Half of it didn't even make sense (I'll ignore the spelling errors because misspelling stuf = ratings?)! I mean how does one take a "devastatin-dot-BICTH~! headscizzerz onto da concerte" anyway? Really!

[Guest Undisputed]

Yay for me! Although the match was short, I think it got the point across

 

Good show overall, great job, Evenflow!

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

Undisputed, I like the idea behind your character, and if you come to HD maybe we could have a short program after my feud with Angle-Plex.

[Guest Hot NewzWIRE~!]

fcuk U ZAC KACCTAK@ P$@#&() Q@ $!!!!!!

[Guest Sandman9000]

Good show all around.

 

Thankfully, the bras and panties match lacked both bras and panties. I'm surprised Evenflow didn't have Juicetice Pain do a run-in, seeing how I killed him along with those other two sell-outs.

 

BTW, finally, SANDMAN vs. ROB BLACK NEXT WEEK~!

[Guest What?]

SANDMAN vs. ROB BLACK!~ FINALLY!!

 

Great show, Reeeeeeallly good promo by SP.

 

 

Where in the fizuck is the Zack Attack!~ Recap!~!~?

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

I loved thhe Cherry Popping Daddy~!

 

i wonder who he faces next week~!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

If you want serious, Zsasz, you'd better jump to IZ.

[Guest Angle-plex]

Well HeldDOWN will still be semi-serious. It will just be more laid back than IZ.

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Thankfully, the bras and panties match lacked both bras and panties. I'm surprised Evenflow didn't have Juicetice Pain do a run-in, seeing how I killed him along with those other two sell-outs.

You KILLED Josh & Matt? I thought you just seriously maimed and tortured them. I know you out and out killed Justice Pain, which is why I didn't use him. But I thought the other two were still alive. Whoops...

[Guest Sandman9000]

Nope, you got it backwards. I killed sellouts 1 and 2, but left Juicetice alive. Figured him being in XPW was enough torture.

 

Ah well, it's all fiction anyway.

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

If you want serious, Zsasz, you'd better jump to IZ.

Don't take that tone with me, young man.