SNL review

[Guest bob_barron]

SNL Review- Salma Hayek/Christina Aguilera

 

Sports Report-

Nets- Ding dong the losing streak is gone. They’ve had two convincing wins and are starting to play much better. Hopefully they can stay ahead of Philly and stay in first.

Memphis Tigers- Okay- now that it’s March Madness I have to give props to Memphis. They’ve been amazing all season despite being overlooked by the national polls. They’re game on Friday against Louisville was one of the most emotionally exhausting games I’ve ever listened to. Memphis showed heart by rallying in the second half and almost beating Louisville in Freedom Hall. What a game and I hope the NCAA gives them the respect they deserve.

 

Barron Recaps the Trading Deadline-

Okay- I’m going to look at how my teams did at the deadline-

 

Toronto

Trades: Doug Gilmour for a 6th round pick

Phil Housley for a 4th and 9th round pick

Owen Nolan for a 1st rd. pick, Alyn McCauley, Brad Boyes

Glen Wesley for a 2nd round pick

Thoughts: They got 4 good players for only a couple draft picks and one player on the active roster. Gilmour’s injury stinks but he should back by playoff time which is when we really need him. I don’t really get the acquisition of Housley but it’s more defensive depth. He doesn’t really add playoff experience but maybe he’ll be a good mentor for the youngsters. And a little defensive depth can’t hurt. I really like the trades for Nolan and Wesley. Wesley has Stanley Cup Finals experience and is more defence that we need. Nolan is Nolan and has been fantastic since wearing the blue and white. I’m glad management seems like they’re committed to winning this year and hopefully one day we can raise Lord Stanley’s Cup.

 

Vancouver

Trade: Brad May for Conditional Pick

Thoughts: Well hopefully Brad May isn’t too hurt after being KILLED by Mats Sundin tonight. He’s the type of rugged enforcer you need in the playoffs. I don’t expect him to score but I do expect him to kick ass.

 

New Jersey Devils

Trades: Richard Smehlik and a conditional pick for a 4th rd pick

Grant Marshall for a conditional pick

Thoughts: They got a decent forward and a decent defenseman. Too bad they couldn’t swing a trade for Damphouse but they did alright. They got some decent guys without giving up anything- no complaints here.

 

 

Mailbag!!!!!!!

 

Stooge writes-

 

In your Queen Latifah review, you said about the Walgreens sketch:

"They did

a skit similar to this in the Ray Liotta episode- the infamous ‘Jimmy

and

Horatio crack up and completely ruin a skit’ skit." If you're

referring to

the Gary's Fish Tanks sketch, than that was actually from the Jeff

Gordon

episode. I agree that the surprise ending in both sketches were

similar.

 

--

Stooge

 

Yea- I thought it could’ve been the Jeff Gordon episode but I didn’t think the episode was THAT bad. I guess all that show did have was Avril. I like the twist ending in each skit but too bad neither skit could be any good.

 

Chad Ruffner writes-

 

Hi Bob,

 

 

I was wondering If you happen to know

why Norm MacDonald was replaced by Colin Quinn as

Weekend Update Anchor In The Middle of The 1997-1998

Season? Did It have anything to do with his eventual

firing by that NBC Exec who thought he wasn't funny?

 

 

Later,

Chad

 

 

Okay- here we go. First of all- Norm was not FIRED by SNL. He was fired from Weekend Update but was let out of his contract by Lorne Michaels on his own wishes.

 

The West Coast President of NBC Don Ohelemeyer had it in for Norm and Weekend Update producer James Downey from the very start. He just didn’t like Norm’s style of humour and reportedly didn’t like the numerous cracks at OJ Simpson. In early January Norm was called by Ohelemeyer and him and Downey were fired from Update and replaced by Colin Quinn. Ohlemeyer thought not many people would care and it would be swept under the bridge.

 

He was wrong.

 

Norm went on Howard Stern and David Letterman that week and told the story of his firing as people were in shock. Letterman even leaned over to Norm during the commercial break and asked if this was all a work.

 

NBC also got exposed for being a ratings obsessed soulless corporation. Conan O’Brien told stories of getting cancelled but then getting uncancelled when NBC had nothing to replace him with. He was told to never book guests who when they are on- the ratings dropped a smidge. It was a huge black eye for NBC and it completely backfired. Warren Littlefield, president of NBC, was kicked over the Seinfeld when he visited. Why? Cause of the Norm firing. Poor Colin Quinn was put in an uncomfortable position and caught in the crossfire.

 

Norm really didn’t want to stay on the air as anymore. He didn’t think he was good in skits and really had no interest in staying. Lorne Michaels sympathised with him realising he had gotten screwed and let him out of his contract. I cried that day.

 

So the bottom line-

Norm was fired from Weekend Update by the NBC West Coast President but was voluntarily let out of his contract by Don.

 

Wanna be in the mailbag??? Email me at [email protected]

 

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan Seth Meyers, Jeff Richards, Dean Edwards, Will Forte, Fred Armisen

Thoughts- Give it up already guys. Parnell’s Bush sucks. Its always sucked, it always has sucked and it always will suck. I like Parnell and all but he can’t just do it. That said this skit was pretty kick ass. A couple weeks ago we experienced the markout moment of DEAN!~ and Tina in a skit together. This week we had SETH!, TINA!~ and DEAN!~ all in a skit together. I know the premise of Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper and Three’s Company was two girls and one guy but I think a show where Tina, Seth and Dean were roommates and Don Knotts was their wacky landlord would rule all. I mean the sexual tension and the malt liquor (Dean IS on the show) would flow like wine. Throw in the John Ritter cameo and you got yourself a winner. This skit was pretty awesome as the questions had me laughing my ass off. Everyone here was pretty awesome and kept me rolling. Why would Tina mention Hosftra? I mean that school is on the rotting cesspool known as Long Island and is across from the building that makes the Boston Garden seem young. I mean saying your kid is going to Hosftra is like saying your kid goes to Trent- not something to brag about. Anywho- save for Parnell this skit was rocking and had me rolling. ****

 

Monologue

Cast- Edward Norton, Salma Hayek, Chris Kattan, Jimmy Fallon, Sanz, Parnell, Forte, Armisen, Morgan, Richards

Thoughts- David Spade mode on. Hi the Jennifer Garner monologue called. It wants its whole premise back. David Spade mode off. Oh and Salma Hayek- welcome to America sweetheart. It’s called English- learn it. This monologue was a direct rip-off the Jennifer Garner monologue which wasn’t that good either. This has two things going for it: 1)Salma Hayek leaning over twice. 2)EDWARD NORTON!~ The rest was pure drek. *

 

Top O’ The Mornin’

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Sanz, Darrell Hammond, Meyers

Thoughts- Congratulations guys on graduating to first skit. As much as I love Seth Meyers I don’t get what he sees in this skit. He always seems to be on the verge of breaking up. This wasn’t as good as the previous skits but had a couple funny moments like when Seth introduced Salma as his girlfriend and Jimmy punched the wall after Seth said ‘England’. Salma going crazy when being reminded of the World Cup didn’t work for me here- she’s not good at going crazy. She’s better at leaning over. *3/4

 

ABC Cartoons

Thoughts- Welcome back Smigel. I’m a huge cartoon fan so seeing all these old school cartoon characters was awesome and like a blast from the past. I especially loved the stuff with Droopey and Yosemite Sam. Marvin the Martian was also really funny. The only thing I didn’t like was the Bam Bam cameo but the rest of this was GOLD and a true blast from the past. ****1/2

 

Versace

Cast- Hayek, Aguilera, Maya Rudolph, Poehler, Armisen, Edwards

Thoughts- When will Lorne wake up and realise that just like Parnell’s Bush- Maya’s Versace has always sucked, sucks now and will always suck. It’s like Vince McMahon with A-Train- he just won’t give up. This was the usual horrible Versace with one bright spot. And that was the man, the myth, the legend- getting to do what he does best. MICHAEL F’N JACKSON! It wasn’t enough to save the drek that is Versace although Dean was a hoot in his short appearance. Why did Maya have to take off her shirt? You have Salma Hayek who is Mexican so all she needs is the threat of a deportation and you got a one hour Girls Gone Wild tape. You have Christina Agulera who is a walking $2 whore. And yet Maya Rudolph, the one who personifies the Michael Jackson song ‘Black or White’ gets to show off the skin. To quote the Undertaker “I’m not feeling it.” ¾*

 

Busted in the Box

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Forte

Thoughts- Just when I get really into my anti-Jimmy Fallon stage he has to go out and give Will Forte one of the funniest asskickings I’ve ever seen. This whole plot reminds me of the episode of Family Matters where Laura and Maxine go off on some cheerleading competition in Omaha, Nebraska. Waldo, Maxine’s boyfriend, decides to mail himself there so he could be with her. Hilarity ensues. Anywho- I must once again praise Jimmy for cracking me up big time by just beating the hell out of Forte. I mean yea- Salma’s cold hearted nature was pretty funny but it was awesome seeing Jimmy go out there and actually be really funny again. I also have to give props to Will Forte for being willing to be in a box. That had to hurt. Bottom line- Jimmy kicking ass is comedy GOLD. ****1/4

 

Chicago

Cast- Hayek

Thoughts- Salma’s pronunciations of Chicago had me rolling. This was too short but delivered on all of its jokes so I’d have to give it- ***1/4

 

Christina Aguilera

Thoughts- Grrrrr. Why couldn’t Christina play ‘Dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty’? Oh and I HATE STOOLS. If I was president or prime minister I would ban stools. WHY MUST YOU SIT ON A STOOL WHEN YOU SING??? Okay- ummm I get the song is about to be all nice and intimate by the way you sing. What does a stool do? Are you trying to connect to me or something? Does it make your bum feel comfortable? Seriously- why must artists sit on stools when they want to sing intimate songs? It is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of and if you want to make me angry- sit on a stool and sing. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. ¼*

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Hayek, Fey, Fallon, Poehler, Kattan, Armisen

Thoughts- Oh. My. God. I forgive Tina for all her stupid laughing. I forgive Jimmy- for well yea. They did it. Let’s start off the roll call of awesomeness. That rant to Americans thing was one of the funniest things they’ve ever done and even had the cameraman laughing. Then we get FERECITO!~. I know I maybe the only but I find Ferecito and Salma to be hilarious. Salma shaking her groove thang didn’t hurt either. All this while Tina and Jimmy were schooling the jokes and bringing the funny. I’ll admit that not all the jokes were hilarious but each one got a smile out of my face. And then Amy Poehler is all: Hey- remember why I kick ass? And I’m all: Yea- when you sweated on me back on that awesome May day. Amy was BRILLIANT as my punk princess Avril Lavigne. I couldn’t stop laughing at her dead on impression and the tears were starting to form towards the end. Tears of laughter at Amy and tears of joy at seeing Amy go out there and just bring down the house. I thought Kattan’s Gollum was much better then the Super Bowl one- especially the stuff on Julianne Moore. All this while some of the jokes should belong on a highlight reel. These jokes were funnier then some of the stuff in Problem Child 2. And this Update joins a club- and YOU KNOW what club that is. *****

 

And now for all the Ferecito fans I present a translation en espanol-

 

Oh. Mi Dios. Perdono Tina para todo su reír estúpido. Perdono la barreta para el yea bien. Lo hicieron. Let?s comienza la llamada del rodillo del awesomeness. Ése rant a la cosa de los americanos era uno del they?ve más divertido de las cosas hecho siempre e incluso tenía el cameraman el reír. Entonces conseguimos FERECITO!~. Sé I quizá el único pero encuentro Ferecito y Salma para ser hilarante. Salma que sacudaría su didn?t del thang del surco lastimó cualquiera. Todo el esto mientras que Tina y la barreta enseñaban las bromas y traían el divertido. I?ll admite que no todas las bromas eran hilarantes pero cada consiguió una sonrisa de mi cara. Y entonces el amy Poehler es todo: ¿Hey- recuerde porqué golpeo el asno con el pie? E I?m todo: Yea- cuando usted sudó en mí detrás en ese día impresionante de mayo. El amy era BRILLANTE como mi princesa Avril Lavigne del punk. La parada del couldn?t I que se reía de sus muertos en la impresión y los rasgones comenzaba a formar hacia el extremo. Los rasgones de la risa en el amy y los rasgones de la alegría en ver a amy salen allí y apenas traen abajo la casa. Pensé Kattan?s Gollum era mucho mejor entonces el tazón de fuente estupendo uno especialmente la materia en Julianne Moore. Todo el esto mientras que algunas de las bromas deben pertenecer en un carrete del toque de luz. Estas bromas eran más divertidas entonces algo de la materia en el niño 2 del problema. Y esta actualización ensambla a club y USTED SABE qué club que es. *****

 

Avril is French for April. Since Avril is Canadian and her name is French, I present a translation en francais-

 

Oh. Mon Dieu. Je pardonne Tina pour tout son rire stupide. Je pardonne le jimmy- pour le yea bon. Ils l'ont fait. Let?s commencent l'appel de roulement de l'awesomeness. Ce rant à la chose d'Américains était un du they?ve de choses le plus drôle jamais fait et a même eu le cameraman rire. Alors nous obtenons FERECITO!~. Je sais I peut-être le seul mais je trouve Ferecito et Salma pour être hilare. Salma secouant son didn?t de thang de cannelure a blessé l'un ou l'autre. Tout ceci tandis que Tina et jimmy instruisaient les plaisanteries et apportaient le drôle. I?ll admettent que non toutes les plaisanteries étaient hilares mais chacune a obtenu un sourire de mon visage. Et alors l'ami Poehler est tout: Hé rappelez-vous pourquoi je donne un coup de pied l'âne? Et I?m tout: Yea- quand vous avez sué sur moi en arrière ce jour impressionnant de mai. L'ami était BRILLANT en tant que ma princesse Avril Lavigne de punk. L'arrêt du couldn?t I riant de ses morts sur l'impression et les larmes commençaient à former vers l'extrémité. Les larmes du rire à l'ami et les larmes de la joie à voir l'ami sortent là et réduisent juste la maison. J'ai pensé Kattan?s Gollum étais bien mieux puis la cuvette superbe un particulièrement la substance sur Julianne Moore. Tout ceci tandis que certaines des plaisanteries devraient appartenir sur une bobine de point culminant. Ces plaisanteries étaient plus drôles puis une partie de la substance dans l'enfant 2 de problème. Et cette mise à jour joint un club et VOUS CONNAISSEZ quel club qui est. *****

 

 

 

Art of Seduction

Cast- Hayek, Sanz, Dratch, Morgan, Armisen

Thoughts- I enjoyed Salma’s cleavage and I thought Fred was totally schooling the skit with his awesome voice and kick-ass mannerisms. The rest of the skit was mostly filler even though Tracy had some alright lines. Fred carried the skit and made it watchable however.*1/2

 

Chee-cahgo

Cast-Hayek

Thoughts- What does Salma have against Chee-cahgo? It’s not like the Blackhawks are any good. I haven’t seen either film so I can’t comment but it sounds like Salma actually found a movie that was better then Fools Rush In. And that’s no small feat. Another solid funny skit as I am digging this recurring skit. ***3/4

 

King Kong

Cast- Hayek, Sanz, Fallon, Morgan

Thoughts- Watching this made me think of a Dudleyz match. D-VON! WHAT? GET THE CENSORS! Eddie Delahoussaye, the jockey of the horse Princess Rooney, the winner of the Distaff race at the 1984 Breeders Cup once said ,“A skit involving King Kong’s dick is not comedy gold.” Mr. Delahoussaye was most certainly right. Oh and what’s with ripping off the Barrymore show? If you’re going to rip off a show rip off something- you know- good. DUD

 

Christina Aguilera

Thoughts- Hey Christina- you’re not the first person to pen a ‘you broke up with me but I’ll be just fine song’- just thought I’d let you know. At least she was energetic considering the time of the song and was hot as hell despite not getting Dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty. *1/2

 

Frida v. Chicago

Cast- Hayek

Thoughts- Thanks chica- now I’ll never be able to look at my girl Renee again. Oh and Renee- EAT SOMETHING. I don’t see why you can’t figure out that you looked HOT HOT HOT in Bridget Jones when you were nice and plump and had this great figure on you. Then for some reason you didn’t agree with me and slimmed down. WHY? Sure you look hot still but skinny Renee is just not happening. I mean you were once the woman who hosted the SNL with the cut Arquette joke. Now you’re a shell of your former self and I mean that literally. If I ever see Renee Zelwegger I plan on kidnapping her and force feeding her hamburgers. In trying times like these- America can not afford to have Renee Zelwegger be skinny. Oh and once again this was very funny. ***3/4

 

Bottom Line- The avg. skit was **.5 making this a thumbs up show. I liked this show a LOT more then the average skit would indicate. There were a bit too many crap skits and Agulera only lowered the rating. I thought this show was really good so don’t let the avg. skit fool you. Weekend Update was brilliant and fantastic and the best Update I’ve seen in more then a year. There was also a lot of great material tonight- they just need to do a better job at weeding out at the crap. It seems like since the Walken show they’ve been on a nice roll of good shows and I hope the last five episodes all kick some ass.

 

Thumbs Up

Edited March 16, 2003 by bob_barron

[Guest treble charged]

Why would Tina mention Hosftra? I mean that school is on the rotting cesspool known as Long Island and is across from the building that makes the Boston Garden seem young. I mean saying your kid is going to Hosftra is like saying your kid goes to Trent- not something to brag about.

...

 

That skit sucked, anyway.

[Guest bob_barron]

No it didn't- All the questions were hilarious and easily took away from Parnell's awful Bush impression

[Guest MDH257]

Bob, the cameraman laughing during Update didn't ruin it for you? I mean how unprofessional can you get?

 

 

This was a good episode.

 

I wish Amy had made the face Avril made on the cover of Entertainment Weekly.

[Guest treble charged]

WU was great, if just for the Rant on America, which was hilarious. The box skit was good, too, and the sight of Jimmy beating the crap out of the box was hilarious, but that's all I liked about it.

 

Good show overall, though.

[Guest hardyz1]

I was LOL at Harry Knowles.

 

Good show. I actually like the Christina Aguilera song "Beautiful" but the version last night sucked. It didn't help that she looked terrible with her hair like that.

[Guest tank_abbott]

I turned the show off after the opening.... The show didn't do it for me at all.... It had been the 1st time I watched SNL in 15 months as well....

 

Oh Chris Farley How I miss ya!~

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan Seth Meyers, Jeff Richards, Dean Edwards, Will Forte, Fred Armisen

not bad...not great. Was that Seth that did the Tom Cruise thing? He seemed like he was going Ben Stiller's version of Cruise. **

 

Monologue

Cast- Edward Norton, Salma Hayek, Chris Kattan, Jimmy Fallon, Sanz, Parnell, Forte, Armisen, Morgan, Richards

-Gee, more singing to open the show, and unfunny singing none the less. DUD

 

Top O’ The Mornin’

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Sanz, Darrell Hammond, Meyers

-If you can't top "All Things Scottish" or "Soccer Hooligan Weekly" then don't try a skit. DUD

 

ABC Cartoons

-Just so-so. These use to be so much better. **

 

Versace

Cast- Hayek, Aguilera, Maya Rudolph, Poehler, Armisen, Edwards

-When has this ever been that good to where the writers have said "Gee, we gotta do that one again." Sucked. DUD

 

Busted in the Box

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Forte

-I give it points for being funny...but I take points away for Jimmy trying to do his best Adam Sandler, it wasn't as good. ***

 

Chicago

Cast- Hayek

-Cute...but the kind of thing I wouldn't want to see more then once...***

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Hayek, Fey, Fallon, Poehler, Kattan, Armisen

-I wasn't into this one near as much as you Bob. Amy had the Avril look down, but I don't think anything she said is anywhere near a direct quote. The jokes were alright, and the America thing was good...but Jimmy took WAY too long thinking he was Adam Sandler again. ENOUGH SINGING! I get it, you can take a recient song and write your own lyrics to the beat. I got the most enjoyment out of Kattan's way too convincing Golem. **1/2, I just wasn't feeling it.

 

Art of Seduction

Cast- Hayek, Sanz, Dratch, Morgan, Armisen

-Not much in the way of jokes. Sucks that they'd stuck Tracy in the bottom barrel of skits lately. Selma's clevage almost keeps it from getting a DUD...almost. DUD

 

Chee-cahgo

Cast-Hayek

-It's not working for me. The repeat skits aren't as good as they use to be. Remember Fred Pete? THAT was a good one. I'm giving this one lesser then the last. **

 

King Kong

Cast- Hayek, Sanz, Fallon, Morgan

-This was good for a laugh like a fart joke is good for a laugh...once. Ok, we got the joke, but it kept going and going and going to a . 1/2*

 

And that's when I fell asleep...and the sleep was much better then the show.

[Guest treble charged]

Did anyone else dig Tracy's 'Are you Chinese?' line in the seduction skit? That was probably my line of the night.

[Guest Youth N Asia]

Did anyone else dig Tracy's 'Are you Chinese?' line in the seduction skit? That was probably my line of the night.

I was so turned off by the skit as a whole that it didn't do anything for me.

 

Tracy and Hammond are the funniest ones on the cast, and they're just getting enough on the show to barely be considered cast members these days.

 

I am very unimpressed with the new batch of guys coming in. I don't think Seth, Dean, or Fred are anything special.

[Guest bob_barron]

MDH-

The cameraman is not an actor so it's all good when he laughs.

 

Hardyz-

I didn't like that the long hair was covering the cleavage- It's the only reason I was looking forward to her.

 

tank_abbot-

 

While I'll agree that Parnell's Bush is awful- everyone was so hilarious they made me forget how horrible it was for a minute.

 

YNA-

I'll respond to your review in another post but like I said- Seeing as how Darrell and Tracy are most likely leaving after this season they can't give them tons of airtime for the simple fact that the new guys need all the airtime they can get.

 

Fred is starting to grow on me because I like Ferecito and I thought he was hilarious in the Art of Seduction skit. Dean is a really funny but can't seem to get any airtime. He does the warmup for the audience and it's hilarious.

 

We all know that Seth Meyers is your Weekend Update Lord and saviour.

 

TC-

I didn't really notice that line too much but I do agree that it was a good show

[Guest bob_barron]

Cold Opening

Cast- Chris Parnell, Rachel Dratch, Amy Poehler, Horatio Sanz, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan Seth Meyers, Jeff Richards, Dean Edwards, Will Forte, Fred Armisen

not bad...not great. Was that Seth that did the Tom Cruise thing? He seemed like he was going Ben Stiller's version of Cruise. **

 

Seth's impressions did remind me of Ben Stiller's but since Stiller's was really good you got no complaints from me. I thought all the questions were hilarious and even Rachel Dratch had me laughing my ass off.

 

Top O’ The Mornin’

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Sanz, Darrell Hammond, Meyers

-If you can't top "All Things Scottish" or "Soccer Hooligan Weekly" then don't try a skit. DUD

 

I was dissapointed they couldn't have a blow away edition as it always makes me happy when recurring characters "graduate" to the first skit. I say scrap it or keep it at the end of the show when it can be more amusing.

 

ABC Cartoons

-Just so-so. These use to be so much better. **

 

I think Smigel still has his magic touch. Like I said- I LOVE old school cartoons and thought this was great. The Bam Bam cameo was so not needed and kinda killed it for me.

 

Busted in the Box

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Forte

-I give it points for being funny...but I take points away for Jimmy trying to do his best Adam Sandler, it wasn't as good. ***

 

Sandler mannerisms or not the site of Jimmy killing Forte is gold. Pure comedy gold.

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Hayek, Fey, Fallon, Poehler, Kattan, Armisen

-I wasn't into this one near as much as you Bob. Amy had the Avril look down, but I don't think anything she said is anywhere near a direct quote. The jokes were alright, and the America thing was good...but Jimmy took WAY too long thinking he was Adam Sandler again. ENOUGH SINGING! I get it, you can take a recient song and write your own lyrics to the beat. I got the most enjoyment out of Kattan's way too convincing Golem. **1/2, I just wasn't feeling it.

 

The David Bowie (Avril pronounces as spelled) was a direct quote from Avril. We get her on Much Music all the time so yea- She's kinda like that. If they really wanted to have me fall off my chair they could've had her sitting down considering how she sits with her knees up and rocks. SIT STILL GIRL! To be fair- Jimmy hasn't sang in a while (Idiot Boyfriend doesnt count since he wasn't trying to be funny) and it's one of the things I enjoy about him. Also-Adam Sandler would write his own songs while Jimmy just does parodies of them so it's sort of different. I found the parody of Lose Yourself to be the funniest- especially the hood.

 

Art of Seduction

Cast- Hayek, Sanz, Dratch, Morgan, Armisen

-Not much in the way of jokes. Sucks that they'd stuck Tracy in the bottom barrel of skits lately. Selma's clevage almost keeps it from getting a DUD...almost.

 

Fred was the only saving grace here. His voice was so annoying that it kept me from being completely bored with the skit.

 

King Kong

Cast- Hayek, Sanz, Fallon, Morgan

-This was good for a laugh like a fart joke is good for a laugh...once. Ok, we got the joke, but it kept going and going and going to a . 1/2*

 

I didn't even laugh once so you liked it more then me. You missed an energetic Christina and a skit that will scar me from looking at Renee Zelwegger btw.

[Guest starvenger]

Top O’ The Mornin’

Cast- Hayek, Fallon, Sanz, Darrell Hammond, Meyers

Thoughts- Congratulations guys on graduating to first skit. As much as I love Seth Meyers I don’t get what he sees in this skit. He always seems to be on the verge of breaking up. This wasn’t as good as the previous skits but had a couple funny moments like when Seth introduced Salma as his girlfriend and Jimmy punched the wall after Seth said ‘England’. Salma going crazy when being reminded of the World Cup didn’t work for me here- she’s not good at going crazy. She’s better at leaning over. *3/4

This was so much better when it was "Scottish Football Hooligans Weekly" with Myers and McKinney...

 

ABC Cartoons

Thoughts- Welcome back Smigel. I’m a huge cartoon fan so seeing all these old school cartoon characters was awesome and like a blast from the past. I especially loved the stuff with Droopey and Yosemite Sam. Marvin the Martian was also really funny. The only thing I didn’t like was the Bam Bam cameo but the rest of this was GOLD and a true blast from the past. ****1/2

This was fucking hilarious. Having Lorenzo Lamas as himself was a nice touch as well.

 

Christina Aguilera

Thoughts- Grrrrr. Why couldn’t Christina play ‘Dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty’? Oh and I HATE STOOLS. If I was president or prime minister I would ban stools. WHY MUST YOU SIT ON A STOOL WHEN YOU SING??? Okay- ummm I get the song is about to be all nice and intimate by the way you sing. What does a stool do? Are you trying to connect to me or something? Does it make your bum feel comfortable? Seriously- why must artists sit on stools when they want to sing intimate songs? It is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard of and if you want to make me angry- sit on a stool and sing. It’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.  ¼*

For some reason, her look for this song seemed like a cross between Madonna and D'Arcy...

 

Weekend Update

Cast- Hayek, Fey, Fallon, Poehler, Kattan, Armisen

Thoughts- Oh. My. God. I forgive Tina for all her stupid laughing. I forgive Jimmy- for well yea. They did it. Let’s start off the roll call of awesomeness. That rant to Americans thing was one of the funniest things they’ve ever done and even had the cameraman laughing.

Eh, it's still not as brilliant as Rick Mercer's rants...

[Guest subliminal_animal]

Bob, who/what do you write these things for? Your personal website or something?

[Guest starvenger]

Bob, who/what do you write these things for? Your personal website or something?

I know that he submits to saturday-night-live.com...

[Guest bob_barron]

I write them for-

www.voy.com/16069/

www.saturdaynightlive.tv

 

and the site starvenger mentioned

 

Starvenger-

Who is Rick Mercer? I've never heard of him before

[Guest starvenger]

Starvenger-

Who is Rick Mercer? I've never heard of him before

He stars in the series "Made In Canada" (aka "The Industry" on PBS) and used to be an "anchor" on "This Hour Has 22 Minutes", where he did his rants (on just about anything) and a popular skit called "Talking To Americans". He left the show in 2001 and was replaced by Colin Mochrie.