OAOAST IntenseZone - 3/17/03

March 17, 2003

Last Week on IntenseZone

AS and AP lock eyes. AS has a WTF where you doing look on his face.

JR: Those two men will go at it in 20 days at AngleMania II for the OAOAST title.

Jesse: There's some questions that need to be answered here. When Tony clotheslined AP & SS over the top, why didn't AP try to break the pin after Tony nailed AS with the Out of Body Experience?

AS gets a mic.

AngleSault: Angle-Plex, what the fuck where you thinking?! You almost cost me my fucking title! I'm sick of you screwing up everything!

Plex lowers his head in shame. AS throws down the mic and SLAPS~ AP. AP looks up at him with a crazy look on his face. Sault pushes AP out of his way, and starts walking up the ramp with his OAOAST World Title over his shoulder. AP picks up the mic.

Angle-Plex: You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of you!

Crowd pops.

Angle-Plex: Every since I've entered this company, you've treated me like a piece of shit! You've NEVER thought I was on your level. Well come Anglemania II, I'm going to prove to you that I'm not only as good as you, but that I'm BETTER than you......

Anglesault starts to walk back toward the ring, but stops himself from entering.

Angle-Plex: .....because at Anglemania II, not only am I going to kick your ass, but I'm also going to become the NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion!

"Woohoo" by Blur hits as AS and AP start yelling at each other. Refs and Road Agents run out to prevent any type of physical confrontation as the show fades to black.

::Fade to Black::

JR: Fans, last week Big Poppa Popick challenged Sandman to meet him at his “house of pain.” We have camera crews standing by as Big Poppa Popick is set to meet Sandman in this incredible match. Circumstances seem to have aligned these two men to feud, and we’ll have that for you next!

::Roll IZ opening::

::13 Days till AngleMania::

Big Poppa Popick

Height: 6’1”

Weight: 225 lbs

Hometown: Atlanta, GA

Finisher: Finality/Deliverance

Career:

- Two Time USTV Champion

- Current OaOasT Commissioner

- Former Leader of the Deadly Alliance

- Has teamed with Sandman in the past

Analysis:

- Crowd Favorite

- Technical style wears down opponents

Sandman

Height: 6’1”

Weight: 220 lbs

Hometown: South Philly, PA

Finisher: Psycho Drivah

Career:

- Former X-Title and OAOAST Tag Team Champion

- Former aWo henchman

- Runner up in King of the Deathmatch

- Has teamed with BPP in the past

Analysis:

- Most skilled in brawling/hardcore

- Nearly impervious to pain

House of Pain Match

Sandman9000 vs. Big Poppa Popick

“My Hero” hits as the sold-out crowd stands and cheers for the one, the only, Big Poppa Popick! However, there is no BPP to be seen. The music keeps playing, but no one is coming out of the entrance. The music stops as silence and confusion fills the arena.

JR: “Where is BPP?”

Jesse: “Who cares?”

JR: “These fans do Jess.”

Jesse: “No they don’t.”

JR: “You’re not going to tell them what they like and what they don’t like, are you?”

Jesse: “Sure I can.”

“My Hero” hits a second time to a smaller pop, but still, no BPP. There is confusion all around, until the picture on the OAOASTron switches, to the inside of a church?

BPP is kneeling in one of the pews, head bowed. He is mumbling something inaudiable, but ends with “So help me God.” BPP stands, only for Sandman to rush out of the shadows and clobber BPP from behind!

JR: “What the hell? They’re fighting in a church!”

Jesse: “The Vatican is gonna sue us again!”

Sandman is kicking away at the stunned and downed BPP, unwilling to let BPP back up to his feet. BPP, stunned by Sandman’s sneak attack, is trying to scramble away and collect himself, but Sandman’s onslaught is preventing him from doing so.

BPP crawls out into the aisle, as Sandman hops onto one of the pews and comes off with a stomp to BPP’s back. As BPP writhes in pain, Sandman grabs a choir book and throws it at BPP, the book hitting BPP’s tricep. Sandman grabs more choir books and bibles and throws them at BPP, the books either missing or doing only minute damage.

Sandman returns to BPP and tries to drag him up by his hair, however BPP counters that with a shot to the stomach. BPP grabs a bible and cracks Sandman over the skull with it, the thick book doing more damage then Sandman anticipated. With Sandman dazed, BPP drags Sandman up the aisle, to the altar!

JR: “What is BPP going to do next?”

Jesse: “Convert the heathen?”

JR: “Stop that.”

BPP tosses Sandman down in front of the altar, so that Sandman is on his knees. BPP orders Sandman to repent, yet Sandman refuses. BPP stomps on the back of Sandman head, yet he says nothing.

Jesse: “Told you.”

BPP grabs Sandman’s hair and orders him to worship, but Sandman tries for a low blow to counter, but BPP blocks, then hits a straight right to Sandman’s face. With Sandman down, BPP grabs some of the holy water, holds Sandman’s head up, and trickles some of the water down onto Sandman, baptizing him. Smoke suddenly starts coming up from Sandman’s face, as he clutches his skull and starts rolling around in front of the altar, screaming in pain. Stunned, BPP comes over to check on Sandman, but Sandman snaps and goes berserk on BPP, jumping up to his feet and nailing BPP with multiple punches and kicks, before flooring BPP with a Yakuza Kick.

Sandman rolls BPP onto the altar, then climbs up himself! With both men standing on the rickety wooden structure, Sandman pulls BPP into a powerbomb position and lifts BPP, but BPP slips out from behind Sandman when Sandman tries for the Messiah Bomb. BPP kicks Sandman in the stomach and hooks Sandman for a suplex, possibly the Fallen Angel, but Sandman hits BPP in the throat as BPP lifts Sandman up. Back in control, Sandman hooks BPP up, and piledrives him through the altar!

With both men down in the wreckage, an OAOAST official comes running down the aisle. This being a falls-count-anywhere match, we could actually have a pin in a church! Instead, both men roll over and try to climb back onto their feet. Sandman is up first, but instead of attacking BPP, he breaks off a hunk of the broken altar, and starts to carve open BPP’s face!

BPP is starting to bleed after having the jagged wooden shards driven into his flesh. Still dazed from going through the altar, he was unable to defend himself from Sandman’s attack. BPP is trying to regain his senses, when Sandman drops a candle onto his back! The flame and hot wax burn BPP, though not severely, but enough to cause BPP to cry out in pain. Trying to figure out exactly what is going on, BPP rolls away from the altar, but Sandman keeps throwing lighted candles at him! A couple of the candles catch the wood and the carpet, but the OAOAST official managed to stomp them out before Sandman can burn the church down.

Sandman pulls BPP up by his hair, gets a running start, and THROWS BPP THROUGH ONE OF THE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS, OUT OF THE CHURCH! The OAOAST official looks stunned as Sandman calmly knocks out some of the remaining glass shards before climbing out the window himself, as the church is conviently located across the street from where IZ is happening tonight!

JR: “Sandman just tossed BPP out a window!”

Jesse: “It’s like those two were in a bar! The holiest bar on Earth!”

JR: “Ugh.”

Sandman picks up BPP, who is bleeding heavily now and holding the back of his neck, and starts dragging him across the lawn, heading towards the arena. A Jeep Cherokee barely avoids hitting both men, but Sandman uses the opportunity to bounce BPP’s face off of the grill of the Jeep. The driver climbs out of his car to yell at Sandman, but one Satanic look from Sandman scares the driver back into his car. Sandman picks BPP back up and continues dragging him into the arena.

The official holds the door open for Sandman and BPP as they enter the arena. Sandman shoves BPP into a wall, which he crumples against, leaving a blood trail as he falls. Sandman covers BPP, 1….2…BPP kicks out. Sandman lifts BPP back up to his feet, as BPP is bleeding severely from the wood and the glass. Sandman appears to be bringing BPP towards the ring!

JR: “They’re coming out way!”

Jesse: “Duh, he just said that.”

JR: “Who’s he?”

Jesse: “He!”

JR: “What?”

Jesse: “DON’T start that crap!”

Sandman drags BPP through the entrance, then tosses BPP’s injured body down the ramp. BPP rolls and rolls, before coming to a crashing hault in front of the ring. BPP keep clutching at his neck, as Sandman calmly starts digging around under the ring. Sandman pulls out a ladder and throws it into the ring, before tossing BPP in as well.

Sandman leans the ladder up against the corner, then pounds on BPP before bringing BPP to the opposite corner. Sandman whips BPP across the ring as BPP crashes hard into the ladder, but manages to stand on his feet. Sandman charges in, but BPP moves and Sandman smashes face-first into the ladder! Sandman stumbles backwards as BPP schoolboys Sandman, 1…2….Sandman kicks out.

Still smarting from the ladder collision, Sandman is up first and puts the boots before BPP can capitalize on his offense. Sandman lifts BPP up, but slams him back down with a body slam. Sandman lays the ladder across BPP, then climbs the ropes, coming off with a corkscrew moonsault onto the ladder and BPP! BPP shoves the ladder off and holds his neck as Sandman clutches his back. Sandman crawls over and covers BPP, 1…2….BPP kicks out again.

Hurting from all off the ladder impacts, Sandman hauls BPP back up to his feet, hooks BPP up, and delivers a piledriver. Sandman holds on and hits a second piledriver, making it locomotion style. Sandman lifts BPP up for a third, but noticing how close the ladder is, Sandman shifts his location around to make the third piledriver crush BPP’s skull into the ladder! Sandman covers again, 1…2…BPP still kicks out.

Completely pissed now, Sandman exits the ring and tosses in two chairs, followed by a trash can. Sandman rolls back in and cracks BPP over the back of his neck with one of the chairs, softening up that weak spot even more. Sandman opens up both chairs and sets them next to each other, before placing the trash can on top of both chairs, open side up. Sandman lifts BPP up to his feet, gets BPP into burning hammer position, then hits a PSYCHO DRIVAH~! INTO THE UPSIDE-DOWN TRASH CAN, KNOCKING IT OVER~! BPP is caught inside of the upside trash can as it tips over from the impact, while the crowd leaps up to their feet.

Sandman tosses the chairs out of the way and pulls BPP out of the trash can, when THE PURIST AND JIM CORNETTE come down to ringside? Cornette jumps onto the apron to distract Sandman, while Purist digs into his tights. Sandman goes to put his hands on James E., but Cornette jumps down from the apron. Sandman turns around, into a handful of salt from The Pursit! Blind, Sandman staggers around before being hit by a brass knucks shot! Sandman plummets to the mat, as The Purist drags BPP’s limp body over and places him on top of Sandman while the official counts, 1…2….3!

Winner: Big Poppa Popick in 16:66

Via: Pinfall, Pursit brass knucks shot.

Post match, Sandman tries to get to his feet, while Cornette and the Pursit mock him on the mic.

Cornette: “You people need to see this. This man, this glorious man, is the one who is here to save the OAOAST from crap like this. What happened to “wrestling?” Why to we need to have chairs in the ring, and garbage cans, and that crap we just saw back there in the holiest of places? Why do we need that kind of B.S. in our wrestling shows? Well, the answer is, we don’t. And thanks to this man here, The Purist, we will never have to worry about this kind of crap, that you people just had to suffer through, ever again.”

Cornette and The Pursit turn to leave, but Sandman has the mic.

Sandman: “Hey asshole! You got a fucking problem with me? You got a fucking problem with the way I wrestle? You got a fucking problem WITH HARDCORE? Guess what bitch, you want a fucking challenge for AngleMania, your bitch fucking ass just fucking got one!”

The crowd explodes, as Cornette and The Purist both look stunned. Sandman rolls out of the ring after the two as they hightail it up the ramp.

JR: That was one hell of a brutal match

JESSE: And it appears we have a match now brewing between Sandman and the Purist

JR: Talk about a clash of styles

JESSE: Hold on, its Alfdogg!

Alfdogg runs into the ring where BPP is still slowly getting up…Alfdogg runs in with a SHINING WIZARD~! And scales the top turnbuckle as the crowd again rises… FIVE STAR ALF SPLASH!

Alfdogg: Don’t you ever forget about me!

::FEED CUTS::

HARE SIM Y PRONO~!!!!!!!

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HOTNEWZWIRE~!!!!!!!!!!!! iz TEHRE!!!!!!!!

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]FOR my OaOaTtOasT PeepZ n FrEEkzSA, Imma giev U a OHT NEwz!~~ EXPCLUSIVE~!K!!!!!!!! it US a PIxTRUE of ZAC KATTACK~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 her it IZ!;

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ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

March 17, 2003

JR: We’re back, and it looks like we’re about to be interrupted

JESSE: by the GREATEST WRESTleR OF ALL TIME

CUE: "Simply Ravishing"

Crowd pops.

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Tony "The Body~!"

Tony comes out -- now only wearing a small band-aid on his forehead -- wearing black jeans and an AngleMania II t-shirt, slightly limping after the damage his knee received last week.

JR

Here he comes, Jess. As you folks at home can tell, Tony is still showing some effects from that unbelieve OAOAST championship match against Anglesault, last week. And on Sunday night, March 30th, live, only on pay-per-view -- Tony "The Body" vs. The Superstar in a "respect vs. career" match.

JESSE

I hate to say this, but we won't be seeing Tony around after AngleMania.

JR

Wow. I know you're a big Tony "The Body" fan, what makes you think that?

JESSE

Superstar is younger and quicker than Tony. The wear and tear of this sport is clearly shown on Tony, look at the knee. And to tell you the truth, Ross, Tony lost his edge. Before he wouldn't care what the fans thought, now he's their puppet. Superstar has the edge as he don't care what the fans think of him.

JR

Tony's about to speak.

TONY

I normally come out here and cut a 20 minute promo putting myself over, but tonight, I'm a little pissed off. Over the past few nights I've had trouble sleeping because of the fact I was screwed out of the OAOAST championship. I know a lot of people threw around the word "screwed" but last week two guys who had nothing to do with my match got involved.

JR

Talking about The Superstar and Angle-Plex.

TONY

I highly doubt either guy was out there watching my back. I understand Angle-Plex has a OAOAST championship match against Anglesault at AngleMania, but he should of kept his ass in the back, keeping the curtain jerkers warm.

JR

Wow. Strong words there.

TONY

I should be standing here as the new OAOAST champion! I'll be damned if my last days in the OAOAST will have a huge cloud over it because two guys couldn't stay in the corner and wait till the teacher told them their time out was over.

Angle-Plex, I know you're backstage, so get your ass out here so I can shove my foot up your ass and my fist down your throat.

CUE: "Song 2"

Half the crowd pops, while the other half boos.

Angle-Plex walks out from backstage, wearing his ultra cool sunglasses and windpants, with a small smile on his face. He stays on the ramp, going from side to side.

ANGLE-PLEX

Tony, Tony, Tony. C'mon man. You come out here and you blame Plex Da Bomb for your loss. You blame Superstar for your loss. Well Tony, you lost for one reason and one reason only; You're too old.

Ten years ago you were like a roll model to me. You used to beat everyone's ass. Hell, you were a ten time, TEN time, World Champion. Well Tony, this isn't 1993, and you aren't the same wrestler that you once were.

So if you want Da Bomb to beat your ass from one side of this arena to the other, that's fine. In fact I'm glad you challenged me tonight. Just do me a favor and shut the hell up. Nobody wants to listen to you complain. Nobody wants to listen to how you were screwed over. And nobody sure as hell wants to listen to you bitch!. The only thing........the only thing the fans here tonight want to hear about is.......my match at Anglemania II.

Angleplex vs Anglesault. One on one. OAOAST World Heavyweight Title. The greatest match in OAOAST history! And you know why it's going to be the greatest match in OAOAST history? Because it's the match, where I not only give Anglesault the ass kicking that he deserves, but it's the match where the OAOAST crowns a NEW OAOAST World Champion.......Angle-Plex.

TONY

After 3 boring minutes, I'm begging for some originality. "Too old"? The last guy who told me I was "too old" is sleeping with the fishes. He isn't dead, he just build an underwater tank, but you get the point. I can't wait for later, get your ass in this ring NOW.

JR

Oh yeah, they're gonna get it on now.

AP points to himself then runs towards the ring.

Tony & AP exchange punches. OAOAST officials quickly rush to the ring to break up the fight.

JR

The officials are finally breaking this up. Tonight, AP vs. Tony. What a night it's going to be.

JESSE

No Kidding! And now we have a disturbance backstage…It’s ZsasZ up to no good. You know he faces Zack tonight!

(ZsasZ is in the room stading over Yuna Firerose who is on the ground, understandably scared of the almost 7 foot tall big man. We can clearly see Yuna's slashy entourage is laid out and ZsasZ has a chair in his hand.)

Y: Please...don't do this!

Z: Maybe next time you'll think twice before you barge in during my meditation!

(ZsasZ raises the chair high above, but it's stopped! Zack Malibu looks pissed, he wants answers and he still hasn't forgotten ZsasZ from the THINK-TANK.)

Zack: What the hell is this?

Z: I get it, you want to play Prince Charming. By the way... why are you wheezing?

Zack: I'm not wheezing.

(ZsasZ kicks Zack in the gut before putting his neck over the top of the chair and bringing it down HARD. The impact leaves Zack's face blue and his breath unstable. Yuna tries to tend to him as he begins to vomit.)

Z: You do know. See you in the ring, I have to get some air. GET IT? Get some air! HA! I kill me!

March 17, 2003

Classic HeldDOWN! Moment

May 9, 2002

The Beginning

QUOTE

::The opening to HeldDOWN! airs, followed by pyro. CWM is standing mid-ring with a Championship belt::

CWM: "Welcome to the debut show of the OAOAST HeldDOWN! [Crowd Pops] At this time, we're going to present an Honorary Championship Belt to a man many of you know [Crowd chants TONY! TONY! TONY!]. Ladies & Gentleman, would you please welcome to HeldDOWN! The man who tells it like it is...Tony "The Body"!

::"Simply Ravishing" hits:: "The Body" walks down to ringside to a THUNDEROUS ovation.

::Tony "The Body" & CWM shake hands::

CWM: "Welcome to HeldDOWN!, Tony.

"The Body": I'll tell you what Cobain. There's no other place in the World "The Body" would rather debut than in Philly, baby! [MASSIVE POP] It's no secret "The Body" has stayed away from such high profile events. But there's only one man who can make an impact on a debut show, and that's "The Body". [Crowd Pops] I'm excited for HeldDOWN! What a main event we got. We have you Cobain & Angle-Plex vs. Zack Malibu & Evenflow DDT. That's going to be a helluva fight, right Cobain. HA-HA! But there's one event "The Body" can't wait for. And that's AngleSlam, May 20. Especially War Games. You have the aWo, the In-Crowd, the Deadly Alliance & The Faces of Fear. Those men will go in 100%, but come out with a lot of pain, and a helluva lot of blood-loss. You know Cobain, we might be able to open up our own blood-bank after War Games. [Crowd laughs] I'm glad I'm not involved in that match. Now present me with the belt. Why did you take so long to present me the belt Cobain?"

CWM: "I was waiting for you to finish." [Crowd boos]

"The Body": HA-HA! It seems the fans didn't appreciate you slamming "The Body".

CWM: "Ok, Tony. Now is the time I will present you with the belt. On behalf of the OAOAST & HeldDOWN! I present you with an Honorary Championship Belt. [Crowd Pops] ::CWM gives title to Tony:: ::Tony holds up the belt:: [big Pop]

::Faith No More's 'Epic' hits::

::Caboose heads to the ring::

Caboose: "Hold on a minute, I wrestle day in, day out, kick ass all over the arena, make people sigh, make people cry and almost make people die, but here I am with no belt.

Yet this bum overlooks the thread and he gets an honorary belt. WHATSUPWITDAT?!? [Crowd chants ASSHOLE]

Caboose: "SHUT UP! Fine if you all want to kiss up to this SOB then fine, but Tony149, 'The Body', the ScumHole or whatever you call yourself, watch your back because by the end of the show, that belt will be the Honorary Caboose Belt!

And another thing..." ::"The Body" punches Caboose. [HUGE Pop]

"The Body": "Caboose, you've just found out the hard way that you don't mess with "The Body" you little bastard! "The Body" is back, and so are we after this commerical.

HELDDOWN, COMING BACK APRIL 10th~!~!~!

Announcer: The following was a paid advertisement by HeldDOWN, the show for all your Unmanly Smooth Legz* and Ghey Wrestling needs.

::tag line – product not endorsed by the FDA, use at your own risk::

March 17, 2003

JR: And now that we’re back, let’s get some more wrestling. This is the first semi-final to advance to AngleMania for a chance at Tag Team Gold~!

Los Infernales

Team: El Dandy~! And Spiderpoet

Finisher: El DandyNator / SpidahSault

Career:

- Former Tag Team Champions

- Blood-feud with Mystery Weirdness Connection

- Newfound vicious streak

Analysis:

- Experience Edge

- Attitude creates opportunities for opponents

The Dream Machines

Team: La Parka and Shattered Dreams

Finisher: Dream Catcher/Deep Sleep

Career:

- Feuding with Boogie Knights 2K3

- Winning Tag Team Record

- Has yet to taste Tag Gold

Analysis:

- Peter Knight a big factor

- Tag Team finishers are deadly

A single BLONG from a monstrous bell hits before SHORT STORIES WITH TRAGIC ENDINGS hits hard over the system. EL DANDY and SPIDERPOET emerge from the back with BLACK WIDOW between them, smirking. POET wears a white, plastic mask now, perhaps as a precaution in line with the events of his last promo on ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA. The three come down to the ramp, Widow in front with Spidey and Dandy side by side. Spidey and Dandy raise their outside arms and the stage EXPLODES and flares pulsingly in a Booker-T-like display of fire pyrotechnics. The three continue on down to the ring, Dandy sliding in while Poet sits on the middle rops and holds the top up a little for Widow to climb in before climbing through the ropes himself.

CALIFORNIA LOVE~!

The Dream Machines emerge from the back, Parka at the wheel of an El Camino with Shattered Dreams and Peter Knight as passengers. Bubbles rain down from the ceiling as they pull to the end of the ramp, lower the car, and emerge. The three make their way to the ring, and the ref checks with both teams as the lights come up.

DING~!

El Dandy and Shattered Dreams to start off, and Dandy goes straight fo the knee, diving in a shoulderblock. Dreams flips over and lands hard, immediately drawing his knee up to nurse it out of instinct. Dandy takes the opportunity and starts putting the boots to Dreams, but Dreams quickly rolls under the ropes to escape and collect himself. Dandy waits inside the ring, ready to pounce as Dreams slowly climbs back up the steps and climbs in between the ropes. As soon as he's in, Dandy charges, but Dreams sidesteps and RAMS Dandy into the turnbuckle! Dandy hits hard and reels back a few steps, and Dreams falls, reaches, and ROLLS EL DANDY UP IN THE SCHOOLBOY~!

1-DANDY kicks out. He's on his feet as quickly as Dreams is, only Dandy acts quicker. Boot to the stomach, and DDT! Dreams is stunned, and Dandy is on his feet as Dreams tries to gather himself to his feet. Dandy runs back to the ropes and SHINING WIZAHD~!.Dandy goes for the quick pin, but Knight runs up and lands a quick right hand to Dandy's face under the ropes to break it. Furious, Dandy looks to be on his way to the outside, but SP heads him off by running the apron and DROPKICKING Knight, who falls back over the steps! Poet looks to Dandy and nods, but Dreams takes advantage and is on his feet. FULL NELSON SLAM to EL DANDY! Cover - 1-2-NO, Dandy kicks out, and gets to his feet quickly enough to put the boots to Dreams. Dandy goes to pick him up but Dreams sees the ref is looking towards Knight on the outside and hits a LOW BLOW~!, and scrambles over towards his corner to tag in PARKA.

Parka is in, and Dandy makes a quick tag to Poet, who blazes in on FIRE~!. He goes for a clothesline on Parka, but Parka ducks, and whirls around. Poet charges back to clothesline again, but Parka siezes the opportunity to hit a FLOATOVER DDT~! Poet is back on his feet quickly, however, and this time he connects with three right hands before he shoots Parka off into the ropes. Poet seems poised for a tildeBANG , but switches tactics when Parka tries to use the momentum for a clothesline attempt. Poet sidesteps, falls, and twists, and lurches Parka back into a schoolboy as SP hits the mat. 1-2-NO, Parka was stunned but only for a second. Both men back up, and Parka scores a quick Belly to Belly Suplex on SP. Parka puts the boots to the Poet savagely, and balls up his fist to jump and drop it on SP's head, but stops. On the outside, ZORIN has pulled Shattered Dreams down off the apron and is attacking him! Knight seems on his way to help, but KOTZENJUNGE slams him with a steel chair from behind!

Parka looks around, and seeing Kotzenjunge distracted, runs back to bounce off the ropes, presumably to baseball slide into Kotz on the outside. He forgot about SPIDERPOET, however, who kips up right in front of him and manages to hit a quick TILDEBANG~! SP makes a quick tag to Dandy, who hits the top rope. BIG AIR FROGSPLASH~! Dandy makes the cover, and once the ref is intent on Parka's shoulders, Dandy props his feet on the ropes and SP HOLDS THEM THERE FOR LEVERAGE. 1-2-3!

Winners: Los Infernales via BIG AIR FROGSPLASH courtesy EL DANDY in 4:13.

Infernales advance to the Tag Championship match at AngleMania II!

Dandy and SP retreat from the ring, and make their way back up the ramp with Widow holding their arms up. Kotzenjunge and Zorin are at the bottom of the ramp surveying the damage they've done with smirks. Kotz twirls a glowstick before pointing it at Parka, who is on his knees in the ring, SEETHING with rage at how this turned out. Kotzenjunge offeres a grin and a wink before the Boogie Knights make their way back up the ramp.

Dandy and SP are walking in the back when a TV turns on, and a tape begins to play

It shows Mystery Eskimo in the OAOAST gym, sparring lightly with JINGUS. The camera pans around and Eskimo stops, and walks over.

Eskimo: A few words? Sure. I have a few words for Los Infernales,

Fire. Ice. Blood. Loss. Regret.

I damn glad you made it to Anglemania, because we'll be there waiting, and you're going to experience all of these things.

You can be proud about your little trick last week. Sure, well done. Take cheap shots. You know you can't beat us in the ring. You never have, you never will.

Eskimo looks at JINGUS, who is glowering and looking even more monstrous than usual.

Eskimo: You pissed him off, guys. You pissed me off. Tonite, Im taking a little time out from you to face Evenflow. But we watched your match...

The camera zooms in to capture the steely, icy eyes of the Eskimo below his mask.

Eskimo: We'll always be watching...

March 17, 2003

JR: And now Ladies and Gentlemen... Zack vs. Zsasz!

Zack Malibu

Height: 6’0”

Weight: 195 lbs

Hometown: Providence, Rhode Island

Finisher: School’s Out/P.O.P. Drop

Career:

- Flirted with OaOasT gold many times

- Defeated the aWo at Wargames

- Former Leader of the In-Crowd

Analysis:

- Crowd Favorite

- Injured pre-match by ZsasZ

ZsasZ

Height: 6’11”

Weight: 295 lbs

Hometown: Cabo, TX

Finisher: Fearful Symmetry/Triangle Choke

Career:

- Faces Reject at AngleMania for X Title

- Has Issues with BPP

- Has beaten several top OaOasTers

Analysis:

- Cocky Attitude may help/hinder

- Crowd will not be on his side

The antimosity between these two superstars began weeks ago on THINK-TANK, which was cancelled because of it's controversial nature, when ZsasZ verbally provoked Zack. Zack retaliated and the brawl engulfed the set. Tonight, ZsasZ rekindled the feud with one of the most henious, most awful attacks that I have ever witnessed. I dearly hope that Zack isn't making a mistake by going through with this match.

Jesse: This match was signed by BPP prior to the show so Zack could "beat some sense" into ZsasZ. before the show I would have considered ZsasZ winning an impossibility, now, he's the definite favorite.

(We cut to Zack's locker room as we see him look at himself in the mirror. His face is still red. He looks royally pissed. He walks out.)

JR: I just hope Zack isn't making the mistake of his career tonight. He should be in the hospital, but he's out there in the ring with the most cunning and cold man in the history of the OAOAST.

(But there's no more time for hyperbole as Die Another Day hits the speakers. You can barely hear Madonna's subpar vocals on the song because the INSANE pop. Zack is focused. We see none of his humor, he is a man posessed.)

Jesse: Look at Zack's face he looks like he wants to kill ZsasZ.

(The opening riff to "Fade to Black" by Rolling Stones hits, and the lights go out. To everyone's surprise, the crowd pops huge for it. The OAOAST fans are the most bloodthirsty in the world. I mean, they'd cheer the hunter who shot bambi's mother. When the lights are back on ZsasZ is standing in the center of the ring. Zack gets right in his face and a shoving match ensues.)

JR: Oh and the fireworks have begun.

(ZsasZ slaps Zack right across the face.)

Jesse: A cheapshot; I love it!

(ZsasZ kicks to the gut, he whips Zack into the ropes but Zack comes back with a spear and punches to the face. he gets up and stomps, the crowd is behind him and he gets fired up.)

JR: Zack is in control! Go Zack! You can beat him!

(Zack hits three straight German Suplexs and goes for the pin, he only gets two. he picks up ZsasZ and hits a Vertical Suplex. He goes to the top rope for an elbow drop...and misses!)

Jesse: He missed! He missed!

JR: Now that damned ZsasZ is in control! Damn you ZsasZ; damn you to hell!

(ZsasZ body slams Zack. He then chokes Zack on the ropes drawing huge heat, he hits a Bossman Straddle.)

JR: Just stay down Zack! You did all you could do! You made us all proud! It's not worth it!

Jesse: He's going for the pin 1...2...NO! How the hell did he kick out?

(ZsasZ Stun-Guns Zack on the ropes, Zack again clutches at his neck desperate for air. ZsasZ gets overconfident and Zack catches him with a Small package)

JR: He could have him! 1...2...NO! Dammit, Zack won't quit he's got more heart than any worker I have EVER seen. But he can't win this one.

(ZsasZ gets super pissed and begins pounding on Zack. Zack does a MANLY bladejob, and ZsasZ throws him to the outside. He whips him into the steel steps...but it gets reversed.)

JR: Yes! Yes! Zack is on the attack!

Jesse: He threw him into the steps, he should get a DQ.

JR: How can you say that? How? He's fighting for survival out there! And you'll just kiss ZsasZ's ass!

Jesse: It's about Respect JR, something you don't know much about!

(Zack picks up ZsasZ and lays some stiff rights in, but ZsasZ kicks to the gut and throws him in. ZsasZ hits the FLIP LARIAT for 2! He drops the knee on Zack's throat twice. Zack's face is turning blue beneath the blood. ZsasZ throws Zack into the corner and chokes him with the tag rope. The ref breaks it up. Suddenly Zack comes to life! He gives straight right hands. ZsasZ is reeling, and Zack hits a superkick. He goes to the top rope, but falls off!)

JR: Dammit, Zack looks like he's going to pass out!

(ZsasZ, pissed that nothing is working, goes under the ring to pull out a chair wrapped in Barbed-Wire...As Zack is recovering outside...ZsasZ runs in with a vicious swinging shot to the head, busting Zack wide open)

::Official signals for a bell::

JR: That Damn ZsasZ he knew...wait, what's this?

(Reject comes running from the backstage area. ZsasZ see the look on his AM2 opponents face and hightails it out of the crowd, with Reject in hot pursuit.)

Jesse: He may not have won, but ZsasZ sure left an impact on the fallen Zack.

Winner, via disqualification, in 6:01, Zack Malibu

March 17, 2003

JR: Oh Boy, we haven’t seen this in awhile…It’s time for MarioLogan

“Iron Man” plays, and Mario steps out with druids who are carrying a large stone to the ring.

Fact #1: Mario eats once every few days.

Fact #2: Mario thinks Hair Bands rule.

Mario helps the Druids with the stone into the ring. Mario grabs the microphone.

Mario: Good riddance that I killed Jingus, he’s gone for good now. Now I will make life easier, but first I will tell you my plans.

[Tony and JR nod off]

Mario: There is one OAOAST executive who tends to cut me off at every corner, his name is Zack Malibu. Zack has booked me to face Jingus in a no Disqualification match at Anglemania, and if I lose I will only be able to keep two monsters. I have instructed the Faces of Fear to handle Zack. Just watch, Preppy!

Mario gets an evil smile.

Mario: Kotzenjunge, you are another thorn at my side. I will deal with you later. I have one more thing to say, if Agnes gets banned……..

Mario pulls out sacrificial dagger.

Mario:.people will pay. Therefore I’m starting my most horrifying idea to date. “The Don’t Ban Agnes Campaign!”

Fans evacuate the building.

Mario: And now to make life easier.

Mario starts carving the Infinity symbol in the stone, but is stopped by Jingus and Jamie Vick.

Jingus: I’ve been waiting eight long months to do this.

Mario kicks Jingus in the nuts, and he sells. The Faces of Fear come in and absolutely kill Mario’s attackers. Mario wraps Jingus’ legs around the post and traps him in the figure four leglock. Jason puts Jamie in the torture rack. The other two Faces kill OAOAST officials who try to stop everything. The Phantom runs in and bashes Jingus with a chair while he is still trapped in the painful hold.

Fat Bastrd takes Jamie Vick down and puts her in a bag. Fat Bastard puts the bag down and jumps around it causing massive tremors. Fat Bastard bounces off the ropes, and jumps up near the bag……….

[Cut to backstage]

David Lee Roth: Ewwwwwww!!!!

Slash: I can’t believe he did that to someone.

DLR: No we saw up his kilt.

Slash vomits in his hat. H.P. Lovecraft shows up.

HPL: I found a way out of here, no one is guarding it.

Sammy Hagar: What are we waiting for, it’s freedom time!

Suddenly Elvis shows up.

Elvis: What are you guys doing.

Slash: Freedom!

Slash puts his hat back on, and runs out with the rest of the Mafia. They steal Tony’s car and drive off, away form the OAOAST and Mario.

All: Freedom!!!!!!!!

Elvis: It looks like I’ll have to take care of things myself.

Elvis pulls out a gun.

[back to the ring]

The Conspiracy celebrates over Jingus’ fallen body. Jingus gets to the bag, and has a look of disgust on his face. Jingus stands up, and destroys Fat Bastard and Sub-Zero with Clotheslines from a place far worse than Hell. Freddy puts a sign on Jingus’ back reading, “I download music!”

A furious Lars Ulrich runs out, and bashes Jingus’ head with a hammer.

Lars: You never learn.

Mario stops Lars after Jingus’ skull is no linger recognizable. Mario then electrocutes Jingus. After a while, Mario stops, and his group leaves, except for the now dead and non-pushed Sub-Zero and overly pushed Fat Bastard. Jingus is carried out by the EMTs.

[After commercial break]

[in the parking lot]

The EMTs load the burnt Jingus into an ambulance truck, and Jamie in a hearse. Both trucks leave, but a re blocked , by this object:

user posted image

The Faces of Fear pull the drivers out. Freddy gets in a large semi turck. The Metalli-posse load nitro glycerin on the back of the truck. Elvis Presley load a heavy metal box on to the truck, the box reads St. Anger.

Elvis: This abomination must never be released on to the world.

Elvis backs away.

Mario: Go!

Freddy: Don’t drink and dream! AHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Freddy sounds the horn, and drives into the ambulance truck at full speed, causing a massive explosion.

Freddy steps out unharmed.

Mario: Good riddance.

JR: And next…AngleSault vs. Superstar IV~!

March 17, 2003

The Superstar vs. Anglesault

The Superstar

Height: 6’2”

Weight: 224 lbs.

Hometown: Naples, FL

Finishing Move: The Downfall

Career Accomplishments:

- Former OAOAST X Champion

- Former OAOMEF X Champion

- Has defeated Anglesault more than anyone in the OAOAST

Anglesault

Height: 6’3”

Weight: 250 lbs.

Hometown: New York, NY

Finishing Move: SaltSault

Career Accomplishments:

- 2 Time Current OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion

- First ever King of the OAOAST

- Leader and Founder of the aWo

CUE: “Big Long Now”

The crowd jeers their disapproval for the man who vows to retire Tony “The Body” at AngleMania II, The Superstar.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following non-title contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Making his way to the ring, from Naples, Florida, weighing in at 224 pounds, THE SUUUUUUPERRRRSTAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!”

He confidently walks to the ring, and awaits the man he has faced on many an occasion.

CUE: “Dream On”

The crowd boos even LOUDER as the Anglesault strides to the ring, and does his trademark entrance. Sault may have to wrestle TWICE at AngleMania II, that is, if he can get past Angle-plex.

“Next, approaching the ring, from NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, weighing in at 250 pounds, he is THE OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOORLD…AAAAAAAAAANGLESAULLLLLLLLLLLT!!!!!!”

The two men stare holes in each other as the referee checks both men for foreign objects. After what seems like an eternity, the bell finally rings.

*DING DING DING*

They immediately lock up, and Anglesault grabs a side headlock. Superstar tries to fight out by using the ropes, but Sault tenaciously holds on. After 30 seconds, Superstar breaks free by reversing the move into a high-angle backdrop~!

Both men are up at the same time, and AS immediately charges and takes Superstar’s HEAD OFF~ with a lariat. Sault covers for a one count. The champion picks Superstar up and sends him into the ropes, but AS telegraphs a backdrop, and Superstar grabs a front face lock, and nails a vertical suplex. Superstar holds onto the front face lock, however, and grinds it in as Sault tries to fight it.

Anglesault eventually reaches his feet again, so Superstar tries to fight it with a DDT. However, Sault doesn’t leave his feet, and instead brings Superstar down into a Northern Lights Suplex!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Superstar gets the shoulder up and uses the turnbuckle to stand up and regain his composure. This time Sault charges at Superstar, but Superstar ducks, and hits a crescent kick to the back of Anglesault. Superstar goes to cross-corner whip Anglesault, but the champion reverses, into a SWEET EMOTION~!

AS takes stomps at Superstar while he’s down, and brings him to his feet…GERMAN SUPLEX!! Sault holds on, into a pinning predicament!

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Superstar rolls out of the ring to recover, as he’s not quite sure where he is at the moment. However, Sault goes outside with him, and continues to pepper him with right hands. He then picks up Superstar, and brings his abdomen down HARD on the guard rail! AS then grabs Superstar by the hair, and runs him towards the ring post. However, Superstar spins around, and sends ANGLESAULT’S head into the ring post! While the champion is dazed, Superstar grabs his arm and whips him HARD into the ring steps!!

Superstar rolls AS back into the ring, and sets himself up on the second rope. From there, he DRIVES his elbow into the throat of Anglesault! Superstar covers, applying pressure on the face, a la Regal.

ONE!

TWO!

NO!

Superstar stays right on him, however, with stomps. Superstar taunts the crowd as he waits for Anglesault to get up, and when he does…TEARDROP SUPLEX~~~! Anglesault landed right on his head! Superstar hooks both legs!

ONE!!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

Frustrated, Superstar puts Anglesault into a front face-lock again, and hooks his leg for the STAR POWER! However, just as he goes for the move, Anglesault reverses, and hits his own…THE SALT SHAKER~! Both men are down, and the referee starts the count-out.

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

Both men are up at eight, and go right at each other with wild punches. Superstar takes Anglesault down with a haymaker, and climbs to the top rope…but Anglesault was playing possum, and climbs up the ropes with cat-like quickness…GUT WRENCH SUPERPLEX~!!!!!!!!!! With one last ounce of energy, Anglesault lays an arm over Superstar:

ONE~!

TWO~!

THREE~!

NO!!!!!! At 2.99999, Superstar got his shoulder up! Despite this being a heel/heel match, the fans are getting very into it. Anglesault then makes a “That’s It!” signal, and with Superstar still down, locks in the SCREAMS OF NO REPLY!!

Superstar is SCREAMING (with no reply!) in pain, but slowly crawls to the ropes. He gets there, but Anglesault won’t relinquish the hold! Superstar then begins to crawl UNDER the ropes, and using his leg strength, throws Anglesault through the second rope to the outside!

Superstar follows him out, gingerly using his ankle. He then signals for the ANGLESAULT KILLER~ Tombstone! He sets him up…but Anglesault breaks free and grabs the ankle! SCREAMS OF NO REPLY ON THE OUTSIDE!! Sault has it locked in, but the ref has begun the 10-count!

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

Anglesault realizes he could be counted out, so he lets go, and heads back into the ring to let Superstar be counted out.

SIX!

SEVEN!

Superstar is finally, slowly, and painfully reaching his feet.

EIGHT!

Superstar is using the guardrail for support.

NINE!

Superstar finally realizes what’s going on, and rushes the short distance to the ring.

TE-

Superstar BARELY gets back into the ring, and is met with stomps from the Champion. Sault goes for the Screams of No Reply AGAIN, but Superstar immediately twists so he is on his back, and shoves Anglesault off. Anglesault goes into the turnbuckle, which allows Superstar to reach his feet. Once AS comes bounding back, Superstar brings him up and over…TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! TOMBSTONE! Superstar is barely able to hook a leg…

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-NO~!!!!!!!

With any energy he has left, Sault bails and grabs his Championship belt. He goes back into the ring, and the ref is trying to take it away from him. Sault is arguing with him, but Superstar is up and catches Sault with a dropkick! The referee grabs the title and sets it down in a corner of the ring, but stupidly, it’s the one that Anglesault is closest to. Behind the referee’s back, AS grabs the Title belt, and charges at Superstar! But wait, Superstar pulled the referee in front of him, and SAULT BELTSHOTS THE REFEREE!!

With the ref down, SS tries to capitalize. He grabs the Heavyweight Championship away from Anglesault, and swings, but AS ducks…LAST CHILD!!! There’s no referee to count, so Anglesault heads to the top rope for the SALTSAULT~!

But wait! Anglesault spends too much time on the top rope, and Superstar is up! He bounces off the ropes, which causes Anglesault to crotch himself. Superstar then turns AS around so he’s facing the ring, and climbs to the top rope himself. He hooks him up for a superplex…but wait, as they go down, Superstar turns it into a…

TOP

ROPE

BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sault is legally DEAD, but there’s no referee to count the pinfall! Dazed, Superstar tries to wake the ref up, when…

CUE: “Simply Ravishing”

TONY IS HERE~!

Tony runs into the ring, and immediately nails Superstar with a double leg takedown and a flurry of right and left hands! Tony poses to the crowd, before waiting for Superstar to reach his feet…

OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tony places Sault on top of Superstar, and leaves the ring! The referee goes back into position, and slowly counts:

ONE!

TWO!

THREE!!!!!!!!!

*DING DING DING*

“Here is your winner, AAAAAAAAANGLESAULLLLLLLLLLLT~!!!!!!!”

Winner: Anglesault (via an Out of Body Experience)

Tony is backing up the ramp, proud of costing Superstar the match. Once Superstar reaches his feet, he is furious, and nails the referee! He stays in the ring, but menacingly stares at Tony. He mouths “13 Days.” As Tony just smiles and nods.

JR: Up next, newcomers PRL and TMC~!

March 17, 2003

"Chop Suey" by System of a Down plays on the speakers as NazMistry shows up to cheers from the crowd! He walks down to the ring. He has a mic on his hand.

NazMistry: I know I made a lot of mistakes last year. I wasn't exactly kind to all you people. I didn't endear myself to you. I would like to say, 'I'm sorry!' (Crowd claps in respect.) As you all know, I'm retired. Or now, WAS retired! I made myself a little comeback! Last Monday, I came back and kicked some ass! (Crowd cheers!) I heard some loud mouth two weeks ago coming out with this open challenge! Naturally, this was some oppourtunity I couldn't pass up! So I came to Intense Zone last Monday, getting ready to answer the open challenge. However, before I could get out there, I got punked out backstage! I know it was...

Final Audition plays up on the loudspeakers to interrupt NazMistry's speech, but quickly changes to Ode to Joy as The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco come out to boos! They stay on the top of the set as Rusco has a mic.

Vince Rusco: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who in the hell do you think you are to come out here to talk to these morons out there! (Crowd boos!) This is supposed to be my time time to show out here, but you can't seem (Points to his head.) to get this through your pea sized little brain! Haven't you done enough already?! You not only attacked us last Monday, but you also had the gall to attack us again on Road to AngleMania II! Look, we're more focused on that Puerto Rican Lightning guy, but you keep getting involved!

NM: I wasn't gonna' attack you guys, but didn't you say some remarks? I think you called me the dumbest luchador, a joke! I am not a joke you little prick! I am NazMisty damn it! The best damn luchador the OAOAST has ever seen! Hey Cappa, why don't you leave that piece of trash you call a manager and fight your own battles! That is, unless you are Rusco's bitch!

VR: Hey, you look here...

The Mad Cappa: (Interrupts by grabbing the mic.) You look here NazMistry! I ain't somebody's bitch! I am The Mad Cappa! I will make you regret coming back to the OAOAST after you retired ever since Caboose exposed you as the joke that you are! I'm gonna' make you pay for making me look a fool last week.

VR: (Takes the mic from The Mad Cappa) I know you had a bad week Cappa and we would all like to forget about it.

NM: (Interrupts) No! We will not forget that you lost to a jobber on Road to AngleMania II! Ha! We will also not forget that you got beaten up by me! It seems like I have a mission. It looks like I'm gonna' need to teach these new punks about respect!

TMC: (Grabs the mic from VR.) Why in the hell should I respect ya'!

NM: Why don't you get your lazy ass down here for a lesson in respect!

The arena turns dark as a lightning bolt hits a section of the set away from The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco. The lights turn back on. "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine plays on the speakers as Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua come out to boos! Cappa and Rusco are keeping their guards up! PR Lightning sneers at Cappa and Rusco! PR Lightning has his own mic.

Puerto Rican Lightning: Now, now, now, now. Why all the bickering? NazMistry, what do YOU have to do in me and Mad Cappa's buisness?

NazMistry: I'll tell you what I have to do in it. It was YOU, Puerto Rican Lightning, who punked me out backstage! It was you! You punked me out last week on IntenseZone and that's why I attacked you after your match!!!

The crowd boos. They begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Lightning puts fingers in his ears to drown out the booing, but the booing just gets louder. He slaps himself in the forehead twice then begins to speak

P.R. Lightning: SHUT UP!!! Yes, Naz, I did attack you backstage. I did the dirty deed but it was only because I had to! I will take down each and every OAOAST superstar I encounter in my quest to become the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! Heh, you were just backstage, you're apart of the OAOAST, so I attacked you. It isn't rocket science. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH!

The crowd continues booing, as P.R. sneers at them. Mr. Boricua motions to the crowd to shut up

P.R.: And I do it again. But, I won't since you're not my buisness, my buisness is...

NM: I AM YOUR BUISNESS YOU NO GOOD PUERTO RICAN BITCH!

Crowd cheers

P.R. Lightning: As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, my buisness is with you (points to TMC) Mad Cappa. You prick! You deserved to lose to Virgin Island Thunder on Road To AngleMania last week! You know why? Because you're weak. You're pathetic. I have no idea how you were allowed into the OAOAST. Infact, you're probalby just a janitor who signed up when noone was looking. HA! I made a joke!

The crowd boos as P.R. Lightning laughs but turns serious and stands face-to-face with Mad Cappa

PR: So I say, how about we settle this. How about me and you have a match at AngleMania II. Puerto Rican Lightning vs. The Mad Cappa. I...hate...you. You...hate...me. How about it?

The crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as Mad Cappa thinks about P.R.'s challenge

NazMistry: I got a better idea! Since, none of these fans will pay their hard earn money to watch you two jobbers fight, how about you two face me at AngleMania?! I hate you! (points to The Mad Cappa) and I hate you! (points to Puerto Rican Lightning) Let's make that match a Triple Threat Match? Puerto Rican Loser vs. The Mad Crappa vs. The Fightingest Luchador of all time-NazMistry! Do you have the balls to face me? Do you?

The crowd cheers and begin chanting "NazMistry!" "NazMistry!" "NazMistry!" The Mad Cappa, Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Vince Rusco. TMC looks like he's trying to persuade P.R. not to do something, but Puerto Rican takes the mic

Puerto Rican Lightning: Me vs. The Mad Cappa vs. You at AngleMania II? Well, it would be an honor to retire you permantley, so...YES!

The crowd cheers. TMC looks less than thrilled with that decision

NazMistry: Well than it's settled. I'll see you two pieces of crap at AngleMania!

"Chop Suey" begins to play as NazMistry poses for the crowd. Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua begin to leave but are stopped by Vince Rusco

VR: Hey look Lightning, even though we hate your guts, I think we need to get together to take out NazMistry out of the equation! Make no bones about it, we have a score to settle. But for tonight, you and me against that joke in a 2-on-1 handicap match! What do you say?

P.R.: Take out Naz BEFORE AngleMania? Well Mr. Rusco, you are a very smart man. It's ashamed that you got The Mad Crappa as your client. I accept! Naz, be prepared to have a P.R. Nightmare! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine plays as Puerto Rican Lightning and Vince Rusco shake hands. They all leave together leaving Naz by himself in the ring.

JR: Next is an Impromptu Challenge, Evenflow vs. Eskimo

Evenflow

Height: 6’1”

Weight: 225 lbs

Hometown: Atlanta, GA

Finisher: SONG OF THE WEEK DDT

Career:

- Former IC member

- Former IC/HardKore Champ

- KODM winner

Analysis:

- Suffering from a losing streak

- Has nothing TO lose

Mystery Eskimo

Height: 6’0”

Weight: 235 lbs

Hometown: Depths of the Arctic

Finisher: Frostbite Facelock

Career:

- Former TV Champ

- Former Tag Team Champ

- MWC is considered one of the greatest tag teams of all time

Analysis:

- Normally wrestles in tag matches

- Mind isn’t as fucked up

"I'm Only Shooting Love" plays and the crowd erupts......with laughter as evenflowDDT appears on the stage.

evenflowDDT

"OK, seriously, will somebody please try and tell me what the HELL happened on Saturday night? I get booked for a match I don't even want to participate in, I get JUMPED in a match I don't even want to participate in, I get made a fool of in a match I don't even want to participate in. Zack, you're really out to ruin me aren't you? Ahh, but it's all in fun, right? Because everyone knows I'm not a threat, right? I was the weak link in the In Crowd, the coward, I mean I couldn't even take my own ass beating two weeks ago, right? WRONG! I'm there Zack, I'm always there. I always have been. But first, if I may be allowed to be selfish for an instance, you FAILED Zack! I'm not embarrassed, I'm not disturbed, I'm not thrown off my guard - I'm still here, still here in your head, and I'm ready to regain my footing coming into the greatest show on earth. See who I'm booked against? Yea, the same guy who cried last week over spilt fish. Yea, like THAT'S a challenge; no hard feelings Eskimo, it's really nothing personal. I'll make it quick, I just need to show Zack I've still got it. In fact, I'll calm your fears, unlike Zsasz last week, I don't hate fish at all. Not in the slightest. In fact, I love fish. I love the smell, and I love the taste. I take every opportunity to relish in that fishy taste. Mrs. Eskimo can attest to that personally."

evenflowDDT starts laughing until a pyro goes off and he gets clotheslined from behind by Masked Mystery Eskimo! A delayed "Ice Ice Baby" plays as MME grabs evenflowDDT in a headlock and runs with him down the ramp, eventually whipping him into the ring steps! evenflow barely gets a chance to recover before being met with a Penguin Kick to the face by MME! evenflow recovers and frantically stretches one of his arms around under the ring, and as MME charges at him, on a fluke evenflow whips out a board carelessly left under the ring by the maintenance crew! MME looks to be knocked out! The ref chastises evenflow for it but can't call for the bell because the match hasn't technically started yet!

evenflowDDT rolls MME into the ring, and taking his sweet time, taunts the crowd and puts one foot on Eskimo's chest for 1...2...Eskimo kicks out! It ain't that easy to thaw the Eskimo! MME gets up as evenflow lunges at him, knocking him back down again and unleashing a flurry of punches! The ref forces evenflow off MME, giving MME the few seconds he needed to recover. And recover he did, as he catches evenflow with a Northern Lights Suplex, bridging it into a pin for 1...2....evenflow barely gets out, and looks noticeably distraught. He yells "That's Zack! You can't get me Zack!", and gets caught in a Blizzard Bomb! evenflowDDT rolls out of the ring to regain himself, stalling the match as the ref begins the count-out. evenflowDDT rolls back in at five, and teases a lock-up, only to deliver a knee to MME's gut and roll him up for 1...2...MME reverses the roll-up for 1...2...evenflow reverses the roll-up again but MME gets a foot on the ropes!

evenflowDDT grabs MME for a German suplex, but MME flips out and delivers a series of his own Killer Whale Plexes! He whips evenflow into the ropes and runs into the corner... SPRINGBOARD NECKBREAKER~! MME covers, 1...2...evenflow gets a shoulder up, and, whipping MME into the corner, goes for a SPEAR~! but MME dodges and catches evenflowDDT on the rebound with the Frostbite Facelock! evenflowDDT struggles to make the ropes, crawling, inch by inch, until finally he can't take any more and taps out!

Post-match, evenflowDDT motions for a mic: "Ha! You're still trying to throw me off my game Zack! But I'm still there... deep in your head and deep in your heart! I'm the voice inside your head that'll be there, when you're one step from glory, and when I don't say 'thou mayest', you'll fall. I'll deny you, as you've denied me. You'll be devoted to me, as I was to you. Wait for me Zack, and watch me take something of YOURS. Watch. You made me lose Saturday night, and you made me lose tonight, but on the day of judgment, before our Father, when it truly counts... not even the Devil himself will be able to stop me Zack! Remember that at Anglemania... thou mayest not! I command it!"

JESSE: Wait, we’ve got Cole backstage listening in too two newcomers, the I.O.U!

j.o.b. squad : "listen k-ness who are the most important people in wrestling?"

k - ness : "the superstars."

j.o.b. squad : "no kness you are wrong. the most important people are the undercarders. tell me what are superstars?"

k - ness : "an ugly ass clown."

j.o.b. squad: "no that is who the superstar is. Superstars are just merely the best of the uppercarders who are in turn the best of the undercarders. Therefore without the undercarders there is no overcarders and inturn no superstars. So therefore the undercarders are the most important thing in wrestling!"

k - ness: "What are you talking about."

j.o.b. squad: "the undercarders are the foundation of a federation. Without a foundation a building can not be tall and strong. Just like without undercarders a federation can not grow and become sucsesful. So that is why you the beast from just south of the far east k-ness and me the highflying submissionist j.o.b. squad the International Orginization of Undercarders are coming to oaoast. to save it and turn it into a strong orginization"

JR: Job faces Brockk Ausstin next~!

March 17, 2003

War ensamble by slayer plays and brock ausstin comes out to universal condemnation. While brock is waiting in the ring. Just a little crazy by fight plays and j.o.b. squad comes out acompanied by fellow IOU member k-ness to little to no reaction. for some unknown reason j.o.b. squad is hideing his right hand under his shirt.

jr exclaims : "This boy is nuttier than a pet coon if he thinks he can defete the oaoast's next best thing brock ausstin. Also why is he hiding his hand under his shirt"

J.O.B. squad enters the ring and brock goes straight to Killing Hulkamaniacs. jobsquad reverses by pulling out his right hand from under his shirt reveling that it is wraped in exploding barbwire with thumbtacks attached. J.O.B. squad then grabs brocks head in the iron claw of ultraviolent mass mega torment~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!.

jr exclaims: bah gawd

brock no sells the iron claw of ultraviolent mass mega torment~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!. he then reverses it into dragon sleaper.

J.O.B. squad after selling brocks crappy version of the dragon sleaber flips over and locks brock into one of his own but not quite as crapy dragon sleaper. job squad then bends his head down and bites brock on the nose.

jr : that boy just aint right

brock then powers out of the dragon sleper and lifts j.o.b. squad up and into a power slam brock then stomps a mud hole in J.O.B. squad but before he can walk it dry k ness gets on the ring apron cousing brock to charge him

J.O.B. squad then pins brock with a school boy and barely gets a 1 count.

brock goes for the Clothesline of Mass Destruction but JOB squad ducks and brock nails the ref. brock then puts j.o.b. squad up for the F-Stunner-5. brock then goes for the cover but their is no ref brock goes to wake the ref but he walks into a chair shot by k-ness.

J.O.B. squad goes to suplex brock but realises he doesent know any suplexes since his entire moveset is submision moves and jumping off stuff.so instead JOB squad locks in a jobber lock on brock forceing brock to his knees the ref finaly awakes he raises brocks hand and it falls back down he does it again and the hand falls down again the ref raises his hand a third time but this time it stays up brock powers up to his feet. then unseen by the ref k-ness shoots brock with a tranquilizer dart brock then goes back down to his knees this time when the ref goes to raise brocks hand it falls all three times

winner by submision J.O.B. squad

<<Commercial Break>>

A lightning bolt hits the entrance. "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts playing. The crowd begins booing as they know who is now coming out. Smoke fills the entranceway as two figures step out. Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua come out as the crowd greets both with boos and insults. P.R. Lightning and Mr. Boricua stare at the crowd and sneers at them. P.R. does the gum swat and starts walking to the ring as he sneers and jaws with the fans. He heads to the ring and sneers at the crowd one more time before entering. He jaws at the fans than does the HBK pose as pyro goes off behind him. He poses on the turnbuckle and than goes outside to jaw with the fans.

"The Final Audition" by Banya plays as the crowd cheers. The crowd has a mixed reaction for The Mad Cappa as he appears with his manager, Vince Rusco who jaws at the fans. TMC is very excited and dances his way to the ring as the crowd cheers. Vince Rusco tells The Mad Cappa to relax and head to the ring. Puerto Rican Lightning is just relaxing on the ropes and has a cold, hard stare on Cappa. His eyes never leave him as TMC enters the ring and does a staredown with him. The two seem to be planning a way of attacking NazMistry as P.R. does most of the talking in his cool and cocky style. He takes off his Puerto Rican FUBU jersey and hands it to one of the staff members at ringside.

"Chop Suey" by System of a Down plays and the crowd EXPLODES! The lights go out, and pyro explodes at the entrance and from it jumps out NazMistry. The crowd cheers the moment he shows up. He slaps hands with the fans as the fans chant "NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry!" and heads into the ring as P.R. and The Mad Cappa head to the outside. He poses on the turnbuckle as the fans cheer. He jumps back onto the mat and stares at Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa. They stare back at him. The bell rings and P.R. and TMC head back into the ring.

Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa head to the corner of the ring as Naz stares at both. P.R.,TMC, Vince Rusco, and Mr. Boricua talk in one corner of the ring as the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" Puerto Rican stares at the crowd than puts his fingers in his ears in order to drown out the crowd but it doesn't work so he slaps his head four times and Mr. Boricua calms him down. NazMistry stares at them both. Puerto Rican and TMC are discussing who should go first. They decide to do rock-paper-scissors. P.R. has scissors, TMC has paper. P.R. goes first as TMC heads stands on the ring apron. Vince Rusco offers him some words of encouragement and the bell rings again to start the match.

Puerto Rican Lightning and NazMistry circle each other in the ring. They lock up and here we go! Puerto Rican Lightning gets a headlock out of Naz but Naz pushes him to the ropes. P.R. hits the ropes and leapfrogs over Naz. P.R. does a reverse leapfrog and when Naz hits the ropes again, gives him an armdrag follow by a dropkick that knocks NazMistry to the mat.

Puerto Rican takes Naz by his mask and gives him a vertical suplex. Rusco keeps telling P.R. to keep attacking Naz so P.R. obliges and gives Naz an armbar. He starts working on the arm by dropping several knees on it as the crowd claps in order to bring Naz back. P.R. picks up NazMistry, Irish whips him to the ropes and comes back with a Spinning Heel Kick. He goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out.

P.R. grabs Naz again and whips him to the ropes, he bends down and this allows Naz to slide over P.R. and come back with a clothesline. He picks up P.R., whips him to the ropes, and hits a flying lariat on him. The crowd cheers as NazMistry picks up Puerto Rican Lightning and takes him to a turnbuckle. He puts P.R. on top and goes for a Top Rope Super MystryCanRana, but Puerto Rican Lightning blocks it, takes off his right elbow pad, does the "Up Yours!"sign to the crowd, and jumps up the ropes with an elbowdrop! The FU Elbow drop. P.R. goes for the cover...

1..2...kick out!

Puerto Rican gets frustrated as the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as Puerto Rican tells the crowd to shut up. He tags in Mad Cappa. P.R. Lightning grabs NazMistry's right arm and TMC kicks him in the gut. The Mad Cappa takes control of NazMistry with several Lightning kicks and finishes off with a spinning wheel kick. He goes for the cover.

1..2..No.

TMC does a snap suplex on Naz. He then gives Naz an abdomiable stretch as he tries to take off NazMistry's mask. Naz keeps fightning back but TMC keeps going for the mask. The crowd chants "NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry!" P.R. holds TMC's unuse arm to make the abdomiable stretch more painful. TMC has 1 string left to take off on Naz's mask but Naz kicks TMC in the face and comes back with a shinning wizard on NazMistry. He goes for the cover...

1..2..nope.

Naz grabs The Mad Cappa and whips him to the turnbuckle, he runs but catches a boot to the face. TMC tags Puerto Rican Lightning and the two of them whip NazMistry to the other turnbuckle. TMC than whips Puerto Rican Lightning into NazMistry who does a Stinger Splash on him. Puerto Rican Lightning whips NazMistry to the other turnbuckle, but Naz reverses, and P.R. does a Flair Flip onto the ring apron! He stops to tell the crowd how intelligent he is but Rusco tells P.R. to look out as NazMistry gives Puerto Rican Lightning a clothesline that sends P.R. to the floor. NazMistry plays to the crowd and does a tope sucicda onto Puerto Rican Lightning to the floor. The crowd begin chanting "NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry!" Vince Rusco throws P.R. back into the ring while Mr. Boricua comes from behind...and nails Naz with a lariat. He begins stomping the boots to him as the referee begins a ten count. Mr. Boricua sends Naz back into the ring.

P.R. makes the tag to The Mad Cappa. P.R. picks up TMC in a Gorilla Press Slam position, and slams him onto NazMistry who covers.

1..2..Kickout.

The Mad Cappa picks up NazMistry and whips him to the ropes and comes back with a Spinebuster. He goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out.

TMC goes for it again.

1..2..Kick out.

He still stays on Naz.

1..2..Kick out.

One more time.

1..2..Kick out.

TMC grabs Naz and does a reverse DDT on him. He grabs him again and does a X-Factor. He heads to the top rope, waits for NazMistry to get up...and does a missle dropkick on him. He goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out!

The Mad Cappa becomes frustrated as the crowd boos him. Vince Rusco tells him to ignore him and "Go up to the top rope again!" TMC heads to the top rope...and comes down with a top rope legdrop. He goes for the cover, but Vince tells him to keep attacking so he picks up Naz at one and heads to the turnbuckle. He begins chopping NazMistry as the crowd goes "Wooooo!" each time. He tags in Puerto Rican Lightning. TMC holds NazMistry in postion with his head on the ropes. Puerto Rican runs to the ropes, leapfrogs over TMC, and slams him down! NazMistry rests on the ropes, which gives Puerto Rican Lightning enough time to do the 6-1-9 on Naz! He heads to the ropes...and does a moonsault onto Naz. He goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out!

Frustrated, P.R. Lightning goes for a bodyslam on Naz...but Naz holds on and goes for a rollup on P.R.

1..2..The Mad Cappa comes in for the save.

Mr. Boricua and Vince Rusco come onto the apron and distract the referee. Meanwhile, The Mad Cappa comes in. Puerto Rican Lightning holds up NazMistry, TMC superkicks Naz in the face, and P.R. Lightning does a German Suplex. 1..2..kick out. Rusco and Mr. Boricua finally get off the apron as Puerto Rican Lightning applies a headlock on NazMistry. He begins ripping off the mask as the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" He actually suceeds in ripping off half the mask! This someone must have energized Naz as he gets right up and does a backdrop onto P.R. Lightning. Naz heads up to the top rope...and does a 720 Splash onto Puerto Rican Lightning. He goes for the cover.

1..2...The Mad Cappa comes in to stop the count.

NazMistry picks up P.R., but P.R. lowblows Naz and continues going for the mask. He tags in The Mad Cappa. Puerto Rican Lightning scoops up Naz. The Mad Cappa heads to the ropes and comes back with the Hart Attack! TMC goes for the cover.

1..2..Kick out.

TMC tags Puerto Rican again. TMC whips Naz to the ropes, picks up Naz, and Puerto Rican does the 3D onto Naz! Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa proceed to do several double-team moves until Puerto Rican whips Naz to the ropes and comes back with a Flying forearm. He waits for NazMistry to gets up...and does another flying forearm. He heads to the turnbuckle..waits for Mistry to get up...and does ANOTHER Flying Forearm. He picks up NazMistry one more time, whips him to the ropes, and comes back with another Flying Forearm. He kips up as the crowd boos. Puerto Rican yells out "That's it!" and heads to the turnbuckle.

He begins stomping his foot a'la Shawn Michaels. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. NazMistry begins to get up. When he does, Puerto Rican Lightning comes out and hits the Sweet Chin Music on NazMistry. He goes for the cover.

1..2...Kick out! The crowd cheers.

Puerto Rican Lightning tags in The Mad Cappa. Cappa whips Naz to the ropes and does The BUST A CAP! He tags in Puerto Rican Lightning who is in position. Naz gets up...and gets hit with the P.R. Nightmare!!! He goes for the cover. He than tags in Mad Cappa again. He heads to the top rope...and hits It's ShowTime! onto NazMistry. He goes for the cover.

1..2..And Puerto Rican Lightning pulls The Mad Cappa off of Naz.

Puerto Rican Lightning goes for the pin.

1..2..And The Mad Cappa pulls Puerto Rican Lightning off of Naz.

TMC goes for the pin again.

1..2..And Puerto Rican Lightning pulls TMC off of Naz.

Puerto Rican Lightning goes for the pin.

1..2..And TMC pulls Puerto Rican Lightning off of Naz.

Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa engage in a staredown. They begin arguing over who should pin NazMistry. The crowd gets hyped up as to the immient confrontation. Vince Rusco keeps trying to tell the two to "Stay together! Take out Naz! Take out Naz! Damnit, listen to me! Stay together!" Puerto Rican shoves TMC. TMC shoves back. And the two engage in a slugfest. Back and forth it goes until Puerto Rican goes for the P.R. Nightmare on TMC, but TMC pushed P.R. who heads right into a Mystryfier on Puerto Rican Lightning! TMC saids "Good! You deserve that you piece of crap!" Naz goes for the pin.

1...2...3! NazMistry wins! The crowd EXPLODES!

"Chop Suey" by System of a Down plays as Naz celebrates his win with the crowd. He covers the parts ripped up from his mask and leaves the ring as Vince Rusco, Mr. Boricua, and The Mad Cappa argue. Puerto Rican Lightning is still knocked out. NazMistry sees the three arguing, and runs back into the ring.

He hides behind Vince Rusco, Mr. Boricua, and The Mad Cappa. When Rusco turns, Naz hits him with the Mystryfier! He begins beating down on him until Mr. Boricua hits him on his back. Mr. Boricua whips Naz into the ropes but Naz comes back with a MystryCanRana! TMC attacks Naz from behind. He stomps the boots to him and whips him to the ropes. He goes for the BUST A CAP but Naz reverses and does the Mystryfier on him also! The crowd explodes and breaks into chants of "NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry!" He heads to the outside and grabs a microphone. He stands over the fallen Puerto Rican Lightning and The Mad Cappa.

NazMistry: Puerto Rican Loser. The Mad Crappa. I'll see YOU BOTH AT ANGLEMANIA II!!!

"Chop Suey" by System of a Down plays as NazMistry stands victorious over Puerto Rican Lightning, The Mad Cappa, Vince Rusco, and Mr. Boricua. He heads out through the crowd.

JR: And fans, it appears The Dream Machines have followed the Boogie Knights to a club…Here we go~!

::All three Dream Machines are seen at the club "Absolutely Flawless" for a rave. Peter Knight is wearing sunglasses and a black suit. The Parka is wearing white pants and a shirt that says "Raves aren't gay." He's also wearing a black baseball cap that features the statement "I luv RAVERS" Shattered Dreams is wearing a pink "Hello Kitty" T-shirt baggy jeans and his hair in pig tails. ::

The Parka: All right, boys. This is our time to shine! We've got to find the Boogie Knights and beat them within an inch of their lives. We took them down on Road to Anglemania. We beat them. We embarrassed them. We made them cry like babies. They're wounded. They're weak. They're suffering. Tonight we move in for the slow, painful kill.

Peter Knight: I just want to get away from all these dancing queers. Don't touch anything. You might get AIDS.

Shattered Dreams: I have aids.

Knight: What?!

SD: Well, like I don't have it really. But, I totally tell all the hot girls that Parka has aids, so they'll have sex with me and not him. But, like it totally makes zero sense. You can't get aids from having sex. You can only get aids from hugging someone! Mandy Moore told me that. She's so sweet.

Knight (smiling): You know, the chicks here are pretty hot. You know what? I bet their bisexual. All raver chicks are bisexual. It's a federal law. Plus the ecstasy makes them act like freak hoes. You tap them on the shoulder and they have an instant orgasm.

The Parka: There they are!

::Parka points at the BK3's. The BK3's are sitting on a lime green leopard print couch. They're wearing matching wide-leg zebra print pants, and black T-shirts that say the word "OBEY" in big yellow letters. They're surrounded by attractive, but underage girls. They're all blowing bubbles and laughing hysterically. Zorin stands up and starts to do something that can vaguely be described as dancing::

SD: Who?

The Parka: The BK3's!

SD: Huh? I only see Max Zorin and Kotzenjunge. Sweetie, isn't it a little early to be wearing white? I mean talk about a fashion faux pas! You're soooo living on the edge of the fashion mountain. You're about to fall into a little place where the sun has never shone and children have never loved. It's called Walmart. It's the ninth level of hell.

:: Parka clinches his fist and starts to shake violently::

The Parka: I don't care about when to wear white. I want the BK3's. Zorin and Kotz are the BK3's!!!!!!

SD: Oh yeah! Duh! Hey! That bubble blowing looks sooooooooooo cool! Let's see if we can join them! That would be like totally fun!

:: SD tries to run off, but Knight grabs his arm before he can go any where::

The Parka: No! We came here to start violence and inflict suffering on our miserable enemies. We did not come to blow bubbles and eat marijuana. We are on a never ending mission of pain, not a mission of peace. The BK3's must pay a heavy price for interfering in our quest for attractive ladies and immortal fame.

::The trio walk through the rave, totally ignoring their surroundings. The Parka lights a cigar. A petite girl with shoulder length brown hair and bright pink lips, stumbles in front of him. She's holding bright pink glow sticks in her right hand ::

Girl: Man! What's up with the cancer shaft?

The Parka: It's a cigar. A mark of sophistication. Something you would know little about. Women like you have ruined this country for men like me. We can barely light a fine cigar without some skank hood rat like you raining on our parade. You are a disgrace to the human race and a plague upon society and I pity the woman who had to have you grow in her womb. Now move out of the way before I put you out of the way.

::The girl yanks the cigar out of Parka's mouth and throws it on the ground. She angrily stomps it out::

Girl: Maaaaaan. It's a representation of corporate villainy and greed. The same greed that's oppressing our Muslim brothers in Saudi Nigeria. Peace to the middle east!

::The Parka raises his fist as he prepares to hit the young raver. Knight tries to hold him back but Parka just pushes him aside. SD quickly intervenes. ::

SD: Hiya sweetie! What's your name?

Girl: Melanie.

SD: That's a mega-cute name! My name is Shattered Dreams. Hey, Melanie. Those are some mega-cool glow sticks you have.

Melanie: They're pink. I love pink. Pink is grooooovy.

SD: Can I have them?

Melanie: Of course maaaaaan! Glow sticks are for everyone!

:: Melanie hands the glow sticks to SD, who kisses Melanie on the cheek. Melanie flutters away from the Machines. ::

Knight: Don't forget to sterilize those.

:: The Machines continue to walk through the club. Parka stops his team mates and sets his eyes on the BK3's who for some reason are now down to their under wear. ::

The Parka: This is it. This is the moment of truth. This is the moment we've been waiting 8 hellish minutes for. We cannot blow this. We cannot let this opportunity slip away. This is our time to shine! We need to proceed with caution. We've got to ambush them. We have got to use stealth tactics. We have got to approach them...

SD (shouting): YO BITCHES! THE D.MAC'S ARE IN THE HIZZOUSE. IT'S ON NOW, YOU BROKE ASS MILLI-VANILLI BITCHES. I'VE GOT TAMPONS AND HAMMERS I GRABBED OUT OF THE DUMPSTER AND WE FUNNA FUCK YOU HOES UP!!!!

The Parka: ...Quietly.

:: The BK3's look at each other in horror. They quickly sprint out the back door. Zorin is still in his dark blue underwear but Kotz is BUTT naked. ::

Knight: Let's go get those ass holes. Don't touch Kotz without wearing rubber gloves!

SD: I was quite impressed with Kotz's package.

Parka: Excuse me?

SD: Um, I was like impressed with his wrestling package. Like his kicks and stuff, ya know.

Parka: Let's just go find them.

:: The Machines walk into the street where a green 1967 Mustang GT Fastback pulls up next to them. The window rolls down and Kotz sticks his head out. ::

Kotz: This car has a MUTHAFUCKIN COBRA JET 427 ENGINE! You'll never catch us. And you'll never beat us at Anglemania!

:: Kotz spits on Knight, who falls to ground. The car drives off as the Dream Machines are left in its dust::

Knight: He hit me with his AIDS juice!

:: SD starts clapping his hands and jumping up and down::

SD: Oh my God!!! I have an idea! Let's play truth or dare! Me first!

:: The Parka pauses for 10 seconds::

Parka: I hate you.

:: Scene fades to black::

JR: Up next, our main event!

March 17, 2003

Tony the Body

Height: 6’6”

Weight: 292 lbs

Hometown: San Antonio, Texas

Finisher: Out of Body Experience

Career:

- 10 Time Former Champion

- Member of Team OaOasT

- Formerly Directed the OaOasT

- Faces Superstar at AngleMania

Analysis:

- Vast Experience edge

- Old age a minus

Angle-Plex

Height: 6’0”

Weight: 235 lbs

Hometown: Elon, NC

Finisher: Mushroom Cloud

Career:

- Royal Rumble winner

- Former aWo henchman

- Former North American Champion

Analysis:

- Has something to prove

- Adjusting to new wrestling style

To my knownledge, this is the first one-on-one meeting between Angle-Plex and Tony "The Body." The only time these two men have been in the same ring at the same time was at "Breakdown" during the 6-Pack Challenge match for the OAOAST championship.

RING ANNOUNCER

The following contest is set for one fall.

CUE: "Song 2"

RING ANNOUNCER

Making his way to the ring, Angle-Plex.

AP appears on the stage, flexes, then kisses his biceps.

JR

As you saw earlier tonight, this match was demanded by Tony "The Body," who's upset that AP got involved in his match against Anglesault for the OAOAST championship, last week. Tony believes he should be here tonight wearing the 30 pounds of gold.

JESSE

Keyword: Believes. But he ain't holding the title, that belongs to Anglesault. But I admit, that was one helluva match, last week.

JR

Indeed, it was. Incredible effort by Tony and AS last week, they should why the OAOAST is number 1 in parody e-fed entertainment.

CUE: "Simply Ravishing"

RING ANNOUNCER

His opponent, from San Antonio, Texas... Tony "The Body~!"

Tony "The Body" receives a thunderous ovation.

JR

That may be one of the last times we see Tony on the Intense Zone, as he prepares to face The Superstar at AngleMania II in a "respect vs. career" match. If Tony loses, "The Body's" career is done. If SS loses, then he must humble himself by saying "I respect you" to "The Body."

As Tony is about to enter the ring, AP uses the ropes as a weapon by lifting the second rope up, which groins the legend, sending him to the mat.

JR

Those aren't jump ropes, folks. The ropes are steel wire covered by a thin piece of covering, that won't protect you much.

JESSE

He should of worn a cup.

JR

How do you know he isn't?

JESSE

Why do you want to know?

JR

You said "he should of worn a cu..."

JESSE

Don't you dare quote me, mama's boy! Isn't it clear, that if Tony was wearing a cup, he wouldn't of been affect?

AP gets behind Tony in a camel-clutchlike position and delivers hard shots to the head using his forearms.

AP picks Tony up, knee to the stomach; irish-whip to the ropes, back bodydrop, kick to the face... 1-2-kickout.

JR

AP showing more of a harder edge than normal.

JESSE

Even though you no-sold my last question, I agree, AP is showing some emotion. He's tired of being treated like a bastard stepchild. And with AngleMania coming up, he better show some toughness. I think he will, since he wants to tear one of the abusers, AS, up.

Belly-to-belly suplex by AP followed by an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. AP goes for the cover...1-2-NO, kickout. AP whips Tony into the turnbuckle. Hard knife-edge chops in the corner makes the crowd "Whooooooooo" after each chop.

Crowd starts chanting YOU'RE NOT STEINER! to AP.

AP grabs the mic.

ANGLE-PLEX

Hell no, I'm not Steiner. Unlike him, I entertain you people. Why? Because I'm destined to thrill 'cause I got mad skill.

JESSE

Haha. I love that saying.

JR

All you ego-manics do.

AP then hits Tony in the head with the mic, once again, sending him to the mat.

Irish-whip sends Tony to the ropes; clothesline by AP misses as Tony ducks then bounces off the ropes and hits AP with a crossbody block, which only gets a 2 count.

JR

Tony starting to fight back.

A punch from AP is block, Tony then throws some punches of his own, rocking AP. Tony whips AP towards the ropes and nails a spin wheel kick, which gets a two count. Tony looks at the crowd and says: "It's time!"

JR

Is it time for the Out of Body Experience?

AP is sent towards the ropes, Tony picks up AP in the spinbuster position but AP floats over, turns "The Body" around and hits THE MUSHROOM!

The crowd gasps.

JR

A counter! What a counter by Angle-Plex.

The crowd starts to boo.

JR

I'm not sure what the crowd is booing at.

JESSE

They're probably booing because AP is about to make the pin. They think it's over.

JR

It may be.

AP goes for the cover... 1.....2.....3--NO! Anglesault broke up the pin by hitting AP in the head with the OAOAST championship belt. The referee calls for the bell.

* DING * DING * DING * DING *

JR

No wonder the fans were booing, they saw AS running out from the entrance. What a horrible way to end what was turning into a great match.

AS picks up AP then hits him in the head again with the OAOAST championship. AS then starts drilling AP in the head with punches, busting him wide open.

Chairman of the OAOAST Board of Directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts and OAOAST officials rush to the ring to break this up.

JR

AP is busted wide open.

The camera gets a shot of AP on the mat bleeding. Watts is

then shown talking with the referee and ring announcer. The ref and ring announcer nod their head.

JESSE

What's Watts talking about with the ref's?

The OAOAST officials are shown taking AS to the back.

JR

Your guess is as good as mine, Jess.

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentlemen, I've been informed by the Chairman of the OAOAST Board of Directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts, that this match MUST continue.

Crowd pops.

JR

Yeah! Great move by Bill.

JESSE

I'll admit it, good to see old man Watts allowing this match to continue.

* DING * DING *

Tony gets up first and quickly goes after the wounded AP, going right after the gash on his forehead.

JR

Tony is like a man possess.

JESSE

With the biggest event of the year coming up, it's great to see these guys raising their intensity another level.

Piledriver by Tony. Tony heads to the top rope and delivers a big time elbow drop. 1-2-kickout. AP kicks out. Ap is whipped to the ropes and is put into a MAIN EVENT SLEEPER!

JR

Oh, what a message Tony is sending to the Superstar. He likes to use the Out of Body Experience, so Tony is using the Main Event Sleeper.

JESSE

With AP bleeding, this could cause a major problem.

JR

Indeed, it can. I'm sure the referee is well aware of the risks.

Crowd starts booing again... with good reason, too. The Superstar has entered the ring and whacked Tony in the leg with a steel chair, sending "The Body" down in pain.

Ref calls for the bell.

SS starts bashing the chair against Tony's head, busting him wide open.

* DING * DING * DING * DING *

JR

Come on, somebody stop the Superstar. What a jerk this kid has becomed.

Watts and the OAOAST officials come out again to stop this.

JR

Both AP & Tony are bleeding.

Watts is talking with the ring announcer and the ref again.

JESSE

No way.

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentlemen, once again, I've been informed this match MUST continue!

JR

Come on, somebody stop the damn match. I appreciate the level of competition Bill likes to have in promotions he's working for, but both guys are bloody, battered and beaten.

JESSE

I don't say this often, but I agree with you. Watts shouldn't put these two men in a spot where they might not make it to AngleMania.

* DING * DING *

Both men stagger to their feet. AP swings but misses. Tony swings but also misses. The signs of fatigue is clear, both men are tired.

JR

Man, oh, man. These two warriors deserve credit for even trying to continue the match after the encounters they've had tonight on the Intense Zone. There's no telling how huge AngleMania II will be on March 30th, live, only on pay-per-view.

AP rakes Tony in the eyes, then whips him to the turnbuckle. AP then charges towards Tony but "The Body" lifts his foot up, nailing AP in the face. Tony proceeds to drive AP's head into the turnbuckle as the crowd counts along -- 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10! AP hits Tony with an elbow to the gut, then places him on the top turnbuckle.

JR

What's he gonna do?

AP places Tony on his shoulders and falls back -- Somoan Drop from the top rope. AP goes for the cover.....1-2...KICKOUT!

JR

How did he kick out? Unbelieveable.

AP tries to whip Tony into the ropes but Tony counters, sending AP into the turnbuckle. Tony charges towards AP but AP moves then locks on THE COMBUSTION.

JR

The Combustion -- Dragon Sleeper.

JESSE

What a big win this would be for Angle-Plex -- it would be a big win for either man, but with AngleMania II coming up, even the smallest of victorys could do a lot for one man's confidence.

JR

The blood pouring from both mens heads, my God.

The ref begins to check Tony to see he can still continue. The ref lifts Tony arm, it goes down. The ref does it again, and once again, Tony's arm goes down. One more time and it's over; arm goes up and STAYS UP.

The crowd pops.

JR

It's not over yet.

Somehow, someway, Tony counters the Combustion into the OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE~! Both men are down on the mat.

JR

What a move!

JESSE

Haha. Wow.

JR

This is what the OAOAST is all about. Nowhere else except the OAOAST and the Intense Zone will you see such action.

The referee starts the 10 count. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9...both men get up before ten.

All of a sudden, AS & SS run out to the ring. Almost simultaneously, SS hits Tony in the head with a chair, while AS hits a VAN SAULTINATOR on AP.

JR

No. These two jerks are attacking their AngleMania II opponents respectfully.

* DING * DING * DING * DING *

AS is hammering away on AP; same goes for SS, punching and kicking Tony.

JESSE

Respectfully? That don't look to respectful. And those "two jerks" happened to be the OAOAST champion, and the biggest thing to come out of Hollywood, since Pamala Anderson's breast implants -- The Superstar.

"Cowboy" Bill Watts and OAOAST officials rush out to the ring again.

JR

Don't tell me they're going to let this continue. A horrible way to end this great match -- yes -- but don't put these men careers at further risk.

JESSE

Why not? Tony may not have a career in two weeks. And some say, AP hasn't even had a career.

Watts tells the ref and ring announcer something.

The OAOAST officials take both AS & SS to the back.

RING ANNOUNCER

Ladies and gentleman, due to the disruptions of this match, the Chairman of the OAOAST Board of Directors, "Cowboy" Bill Watts, has decided to rule this match a no contest.

Crowd boos.

JR

The crowd doesn't like the ruling. A shame to end the match this way, but it's the right call. Wait a minute. Bill Watts is telling me he has an announcement.

BILL WATTS

Ladies an gentlemen, I understand you're upset at the finish to this exciting match. The OAOAST prides itself on delivering the most action-pack show every week. You folks pay good money to see the OAOAST wrestlers hook 'em up every week. I don't care if the suits have a problem with this; next week on the Intense Zone we're going to debut something called "No Deal, Wildcard" match. In tag team action, it will be the team of Tony "The Body" & Angle-Plex vs. The Superstar & Anglesault! Next week, "No Deal, Wildcard" match, those four men will hook 'em up!

Crowd pops.

JR

Whoa! What an announcement.

JESSE

This isn't fair to AS & SS. They have to fight each other tonight, then team up next week.

JR

Aww, that's too damn bad. Next week on IZ: "No Deal, Wildcard" tag match; Tony "The Body & Angle-Plex vs. The Superstar & Anglesault. What a way that will be to enter AngleMania II weekend. Good night from the OaOasT!

March 17, 2003

Slave-Driver

Big Poppa Popick

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Sandman

Zack Malibu

ZsasZ

Spiderpoet

Eskimo

LaParka

J.O.B Squad w/K- Ness

KotzenJunge

Supershit

Tony Da Body

Caboose

Scott Keith's Biggest Fan

OAOAST CONFIDENTIAL COMING SOOOONNN~!!!!!

And other people

OAOAST IntenseZone - 3/17/03

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