The Road to AngleMania II - 3/22/03

[Guest The Superstar]

OAOAST Road to Anglemania II

March 22, 2003

 

Pyro explodes everywhere and everyone is having a jolly good time as Road To Anglemania II EXPLODES~ onto the airwaves. We see signs such as “I Want Evenflow in MY Coochi Snorcher” (by a girl of course), “Anglesault Retains at ‘Maina? Dream On!” and an entire row of fans holding a one-person-a-letter “A-N-G-L-E-P-L-E-X” sign! We finally pan over to our ever-present announcers, Michael Cole and The Coach.

 

 

Cole: Hello everyone and WELCOME to OAOAST Road to Anglemania II! I’m Michael Cole alongside…

Coach: Don’t even TRY, Cole! I pop all the ladies’ cherries and make ‘em scream, lick them down like dairy cream, suck and…

Cole: …AND WHAT A PACKED SHOW WE HAVE TODAY! Let’s head to the ring before Coach gets carried away.

 

Undisputed vs. The Cloud

 

“Red” hits and the crowd gives a good response for the OAOAST newcomer, Undisputed. He confidently marches to the ring, takes off his blue warm up jacket and prepares for battle. The Cloud is an odd fellow, with no entrance, who is clad in sky-blue short pants with…you guessed it, clouds on them. His personality clearly shines through.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Cole: And this should be an interesting matchup.

Coach: Yes! The Cloud is high!

Cole: Ummm….

Coach: In da SKY~!

Cole: Right!

 

The two lock up in the center of the ring, and Cloud pushes him down. He poses and flexes, but is met with a high dropkick from Undisputed, sending him down. Undisputed immediately picks him up and brings him down into a vertical suplex. Undisputed goes up top…Swanton Bomb. Cover: 1, 2, no.

 

Cloud shakes it off and stops an Undisputed charge with a super kick, and his signature move, the Gorilla Press Sit-Out slam. Cover: 1, 2, 3NO. Undisputed barely gets the shoulder up. Undisputed fights back, catches Cloud in a capture suplex, and waits for him to get back up…CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL.

 

Cover: 1, 2, 3!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

Coach: That match shows you exactly why Undisputed will be *THE* next OAOAST mega-star.

Cole: Indeed, as that was a fine match.

 

Winner: Undisputed (via the Championship Material)

 

We see a seemingly peaceful field, everything is serene. A tall man is standing in the center, looking down, his face is stoic. In his hand, is an ancient brass war helmet.

 

Man: You don't know what it's like... not having a past. I can feel voices inside me, that I have never spoken, I can remember sights, that I have never seen, I can smell the smells of war... and yet I know not why.

 

We see flashes of battle, swords crashing, horses neighing, men screaming in agony.

 

Man: On this day, many years ago, this field was the Gate to Hell for many a Persian. A man named Nemo was here. And he died, at the tip of a Persian blade. Why do I know this? Why are my only memories of death?

 

I don't know who I am.

 

I don't what I've done.

 

But know this... I am coming. And the OAOAST will never be the same... again!

 

THE GLADIATOR.

 

THE ETERNAL CONFLICT... COMES TO THE OAOAST.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

:: Shattered Dreams is seen sitting behind a news desk. He's wearing a blue suit, glasses and has his hair in a pony tail. ::

 

Shattered Dreams: Hi. I bet you were totally expecting me to like address the BK3's or something. But, like we have a more pressing issue to discuss. No, I'm not talking about someone wearing black socks with white shoes. I’m talking about the war on Iraq. Oh my god, it like totally sucks. People are going to like die and stuff. I have a rack in my basement and every time it falls over I just get my dumb ass butler to pick it up. I don't like bomb it with missiles. That's what we need to do with Iraq, like send our butlers to clean it up.

 

Ya know, I bet if Soda Hussein and that Bush dude went and got a facial together, they would be like such good friends. One time, J-Lo like ate all my tofu burgers. I was like so pissed! I didn't talk to her for like two hours. Then she gave me a surprise facial and now we're like such good friends!

 

Anyway, why don't we bomb a country that sucks, like San Diego. Oh my god, San Diego totally sucks. There are like homeless people all over the place. They always ask you for like money so they can catch a bus. It's like, oh my god, why don't you buy a car? Buy a house too. Like, we should put all the homeless dudes in a giant electric chair and just kill them. I told that to Kate Hudson and she's all like "You're such an asshole." I was like "What the fuck ever! You weren't saying that when I was masturbating in your kitchen." She was all like "Yes I was. You did it into my Lucky Charms box! You're such a dick!” Then I told her to get out of my house and she like hung up the phone. She probably went to like get me flowers and candy.

 

Anyway don't bomb Iraq anymore, because like my chef is one of those Mormons, or something and he'll like try to take off work. That would like suck, because he's the only one here who knows how to microwave macaroni. Anyway, this is Shattered Dreams signing off, or whatever.

 

Cole: Well, that was, um…

Coach: …unique.

Cole: That’s the word.

Coach: You know Cole, maybe I should make a reservation for a facial for the 2 of us?

Cole: I’ve had quite a few facials, and I’m not too fond of them.

Coach: I’m not talking about *THAT* kind, Cole.

 

ZsasZ vs. Donald “Red” Grant

 

Donald Grant comes out to "From Russia, With Love" by Matt Munroe. He gets no reaction, for while he may be good with a garrote wire; he's a jobber here.

 

The lights go out, the riff starts up, the fans can't decide. It must be ZSASZ! "Paint it Black" starts up, and the lights come back on, to reveal ZsasZ standing in the center of the ring. He slowly takes off his trenchc... NO! He throws it Grants face and begins wailing on him to thunderous applause!

 

Cole: WOW! This should be a fun match.

Coach: Grant seems so familiar...

Cole: You mean like every other jobber we see on Road to Anglemania?

 

They exchange rights and lefts. Grant seems to get the better... but ZsasZ gets a Cactus clothesline! They begin brawling again. ZsasZ smashes Grant into the steel guardrail, and then smashes his head over the steel steps. ZsasZ throws Grant into the ring and drops a quick elbow. He goes for the pin but picks Grant up at 2! He hits a backdrop suplex, and then a hanging vertical suplex.

 

Cole: Would you look at the strength and power of ZsasZ!

Coach: What else would I be looking at? Torrie Wilson Playboy pictures?

Cole: …that reminds me…

 

Grant comes back. He throws ZsasZ to the outside and hits a lariat. He smashes ZsasZ's head with the ring bell on the outside, managing to hide the shot from the ref, who was way out of position to see it.

 

Cole: That bastard!

 

Grant throws ZsasZ back in and begins to work the knee. He hooks in a single leg crab. When it looks like that isn't going to win it for him, he switches to an STF. ZsasZ makes the ropes.

 

Coach: I have ALL of the confidence in the world in ZsasZ right now. He’s kewl.

 

Both men get up and go toe-to-toe for another slugfest. Grant looks to get the advantage, until ZsasZ plays a little game of Iblockyourpunchyoudon'tblockmine.

 

ZsasZ hits the chokeslam. He signals for the end and gets the DRAGON SLEEPER~! Grant quickly taps out.

 

Cole: Wow! Great match! And ZsasZ gets ANOTHER tap out victory.

 

Winner: ZsasZ (via the Dragon Sleeper)

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

A lightning bolt hits the stage. The crowd pops but boos as "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine begins. Pyro goes off as the crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!". Smoke rises from the entranceway and two shadows come from it. The shadows turn out to be Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua. The crowd greets their arrival with boos. Puerto Rican Lightning removes his sunglasses and sneers at the crowd. He does the gum swat and begins walking down to ringside. He is carrying a sliver suitcase which appears to be weighning down PRL. Still, he manages to jaw with the fans at ringside. He gives Mr. Boricua the suitcase and sneers at the crowd before heading into the ring. He does the HBK pose as pyro goes off behind him. He laughs sinisterly and heads to the turnbuckle to pose. He heads to another turnbuckle to pose before heading outside to jaw with the fans some more.

 

He heads back into the ring with a microphone. The crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" as PRL begins to speak. He covers his ears in order to drown out the boos but it doesn't work so he smacks his head three times. The boos and the chants get louder so P.R. makes Mr. Boricua cover his ears. It works and PRL is able to compose himself. He begins to speak.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: How's everyone doing tonight?

 

Crowd cheers. You can heard some yell "Fine!"

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Yeah? Well FUCK YOU!!!

 

Crowd boos again. They begin chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL just sneers at them.

 

PRL: Just getting everyone in the mood. HAHAHAHA! Now, it seems like I have a date on March 30th. But it's not a date like you'd expect. There won't be no dinner and a movie. There won't be no dancing. There won't be no flowers or chocolate. There won't be no good night kiss. But, what the date will have...is pain. Pain that The Mad Cappa and NazMistry have never felt before. On March 30th, from the Tokoyo Dome, I will take on those two pieces of crap in a Triple Threat Match! And I will not go easy on them. Either of them. ESPECIALLY not on The Mad Cappa, for ruining a perfect situation last week on IntenseZone! TMC is just too damn selfish for his own good and its because of that that I got pinned by NazMistry!

 

Crowd cheers. They begin chanting "NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry! NazMistry!" PRL seems annoyed with the chants.

 

Puerto Rican: SHUT UP!!! So, because of this I needed to regroup. I needed to calm myself down. I needed to think things over. So I took a trip. I went home to San Juan, Puerto Rico. As I sat in my $20 million mansion, I reflected. I reflected on my roots and on myself. Even with my bulters, maids, and Olympic sized Swimming pool, it wasn't enough. With that, I decided to take a walk. As I walked, I came to a wrestling show being held at Roberto Clemete Stadium. Being that I'm so damn popular and infact a national hero in Puerto Rico, heh, I went and competed in a touramnent. In front of 40,000 screaming Puerto Ricans, I defeated 15 men in one night! 15! No one, and I mean NO ONE can do that. But me, Puerto Rican Lightning, defied the odds, and won. But the tourament wasn't there just cuz. Nope, there was a prize that I won in that tourament. A special, prestigious prize that I won that night. And it was....

 

THE PUERTO RICO CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

 

Crowd is confused.

 

PRL: Let me explain it to you pieces of trailer park trash. The Puerto Rico Championship is one, if not, THE most prestigious belt in the professional wrestling buisness. It has a long history dating back in Puerto Rico's entry as a commonwealth in the 1950's. It's more prestigious than the NWA Title, than the WWF Intercontinental Title, more prestigious than the King of the Death Match Trophy. It is the only belt worth fightning for. And I, Puerto Rican Lightning, have it! But, since I love each and every one of you, I talked it over with the officals, and they allowed me...to defend the Puerto Rico Championship RIGHT HERE IN THE OAOAST!!!

 

Crowd pops.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Now, then. It is with great honor, that I introduce to you, the belt more prestigious than the OAOAST Title. The belt that was once worn by Stone Cold Steve Austin, Pedro Morales, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, Edge, The Rock, and Tito Santana-The Puerto Rico Championship!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the silver suitcase. He opens it. Inside is a belt shaped like the last version of the WWE Intercontinental Title. The belt is black. The plate has a Puerto Rican flag covering it Written in script in red is "Puerto Rico Championship" with a nameplate that saids "Puerto Rican Lightning" on it. PRL takes the belt and puts it over his shoulder as the crowd boos him. He shows off the belt and laughs sinisterly. He begins to speak.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: But that's not all I found in Puerto Rico. For you see, after I won the Puerto Rico Championship, I went clubbin' to celebrate. And it was there, that I met the hottest Latino Chick I ever seen. She and I hit it off and we did it ALL NIGHT LONG and after some persuading, she agreed, and she is now my new valet. Ladies and gentelmen, put your stinky, sweaty, disgusting hands together for Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez!

 

"Higher Brain Pattern" ("My Time" Instrumental Version) hits. Spotlights circle the entire arena as a sultry mistress enters. She has long black hair, brown eyes. She is wearing hoop earrings and red lipstick. She is wearing a sleeveless T-Shirt cut to show the bellybutton. Wearing a black miniskirt and black boots, she begins walking down to the ring. The crowd gives whistles and catcalls as she enters the ring. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez poses for the crowd as she kisses PRL. She shakes hands with Mr. Boricua. PRL begins to speak as the music stops.

 

PRL: You probalby feel a little jealous you will NEVER get a girl like my over herre. Now than, for my match tonight, I have decided to bring over one of the toughest competitors in Puerto Rico! He is rough and is capable of beating anyone. He is making his U.S. TV debut so give him a warm welcome. Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up, for Puerto Rico's Toughest S.O.B.--Chico Fransico-Chavez-Hernandez-Gonzalez-Batista-Rodrieguez-Jose-Muniz.

 

"100%" by Big Pun hits. The crowd cheers as they wait the arrival of Puerto Rico's Toughest S.O.B. Instead, out comes a 5 foot skinny, little weakling. The crowd shows its disappointment by booing the kid. He has curly black hair, black eyes. He is wearing red trunks with black on the sides, and a Puerto Rico flag on the rear. He has black elbow pads, black wrist tape, and black boots. He walks slowly to the ring and has a look of FEAR on his face as Puerto Rican Lightning bends the ring ropes for him to come in. He hesitates but enters. Puerto Rican hits his back as the bell rings and the match begins.

 

Cole: Well, that’s certainly interesting.

Coach: ANOTHER Title? My brain can’t comprehend! Can’t…Comprehend! Comprehend…Can’t…

Cole: ONTO THE MATCH!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning (w/ Mr. Boricua & Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez) vs. Chico (Non-Title Match)

 

Puerto Rican Lightning begins stomping Chico non-stop as Mr. Boricua and Ms. Gonzalez leave the ring with the Puerto Rico Championship over Gonzalez's shoulder. PRL picks up Chico and whips him to the ropes. Puerto Rican does a leapfrog over Chico. Chico comes back and P.R. Lightning does a reverse leapfrog follow by a arm-drag once Chico hits the ropes again. Chico gets up and Lightning does a dropkick that sends Chico over the top-rope. The crowd begins booing Puerto Rican Lightning as he jaws witht the fans with an arrogrant look on his face. Mr. Boricua begins to beatdown on Chico some more. He grabs Chico and slams his back on the ringpost. He holds up Chico and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez gives him a hard slap. Mr. Boricua holds Chico in place and Puerto Rican Lightning heads to the ropes and hits a baseball slide on Chico which sends him over the barricade and into the crowd.

 

Cole: And we go into the crowd! I love stuff like this.

 

The crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" and it annoys PRL. He puts his fingers in his ears in order to drown out the noise but it doesn't work. He slaps his forehead several times than heads outside where he puts his head on Ms. Gonzalez's shoulder. The booing continues as PRL grabs Chico and throws him back into the ring. He goes for a cover.

 

1..2..Kick out!

 

PRL gets up and waits for Chico to follow. When he does, he hits the Shinning Wizard on him. He goes for the cover again.

 

1..2..Kick out!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning gets up frustrated. He grabs Chico by his hair and whips him to a turnbuckle. He follows with a Stinger Splash! He whips him to another turnbuckle, but Chico reverses and PRL does a Flair Flip into the corner! He lands on the apron and stops. He points to his head. "It's my intelliengence that led me to winning the Puerto Rico Championship!" he saids. Chico uses PRL's jawing to his advantage as he dropkicks Puerto Rican off the apron and into the barricade!

 

Coach: What a shot! Don’t count Chico-Something-Whatever out of this match!

 

The crowd cheers as Chico heads to the top rope. He goes up, but Mr. Boricua grabs him by his foot allowing PRL more time to get up. Chico is able to get his foot free from Mr. Boricua and goes for a double axehandle to the floor, but P.R. Lightning punches him on the way down and Chico does a somersault onto the floor. P.R. lays some boots in and follows with a hard whip into the ringpost. He follows with ANOTHER whip into the steps. He throws Chico back into the ring and heads to the top. Once there, he throws his left elbowpad to the crowd, does the "Up Yours!" sign, and hits a flying elbow drop. The FU Elbow Drop! He goes for the cover.

 

1...2...Kick out!

P.R. goes for it again.

1..2..Kick out!

Again.

1...2...Kick out!

One more time.

1...2...Kick out!

 

Cole: PRL is just Tenacious, Zee~!

 

Puerto Rican is pissed. He looks to Mr. Boricua to ask him why he's not getting the win. The crowd once again begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" This time, however, PRL ignores them. He grabs Chico and does a vertical suplex on him. He follows with an armbar. The crowd claps in unison and stamp their feet as PR continues with the armbar. Suddenly, Chico gets up. P.R. Lightning keeps the armbar. Suddenly, Chico punches Lightning several times and when he hits Lightning in the gut, the armbar is released and Chico heads to the ropes. He comes back with a crossbody and goes for the upset!

 

1...2...NO!!!

 

Coach: Whew! I almost lost it there.

Cole: And PRL almost lost it too! Heh…heh…heh…

 

Chico grabs P.R. Lightning and does a dropkick on him. He follows with the Rolling Thunder. He goes for the pin.

 

1...2...Puerto Rican Lightning kicks out and sends Chico halfway to the ring!

 

PRL grabs Chico but Chico punches him. Chico heads to the ropes but P.R. stops him with the Spinning Heel Kick. He goes for the cover.

 

1..2..PRL picks him up and laughs.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning does 5 German Suplexes on Chico as the crowd boos. PRL grabs Chico and whips him to the ropes. Chico goes for a running shoulderblock but PRL moves out of the way and Chico falls over the top rope. Mr. Boricua lays some kicks in on Chico as Puerto Rican Lightning does a tope sucicida onto Chico! Puerto Rican heads to the ring apron. He waits for Chico to get up....and hits a running clothesline from the ring apron!

 

PRL and Chico are both knocked out on the floor. The crowd begins chanting "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" P.R. Lightning gets up first, fatigued, and heads into the ring. Mr. Boricua throws Chico in. Chico gets up and Puerto Rican Lightning whips him and does a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on him. He goes for the pin.

 

1..2...He picks up Chico. PRL saids "More punishment!"

 

Cole: Stop the pain!

 

PRL does a DDT and picks Chico up again! He whips Chico to the ropes and follows with the Flying Forearm! He laughs at Chico and waits for him to get up. When he does, PRL hits another Flying Forearm on Chico. Chico falls and slides into the turnbuckle. PRL jaws with the fans as Chico uses the turnbuckles to pick himself up. PRL goes for another Flying Forearm...and it hits! Puerto Rican Lightning picks him up and whips Chico to the ropes and hits ANOTHER Flying Forearm on Chico. He does the "That's It!" sign to the crowd and heads to the turnbuckle. He begins stomping his foot a'la Shawn Michaels and tells Chico to get up.

 

Coach: Oh, you know what time it is!

 

1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3. 1,2,3.

 

Chico gets up and PRL goes for the Sweet Chin Music! However, Chico grabs Puerto Rican Lightning's foot! BUT! PRL comes back with the enziguri that makes Chico do two someraults before falling on the mat.

 

Cole: Doesn’t that defy the law of physics, or something?

Coach: I’m not sure…I only passed that class thanks to my mouth!

“…”

 

He walks around the ring and gets in position. The crowd stands up and begins booing PRL. They know what's coming up next. When Chico gets up, Puerto Rican Lightning kicks Chico in the guts...and does the P.R. Nightmare on Chico!!! He goes for the cover.

 

1...2...3! Puerto Rican Lightning wins!!!

 

Cole: What a move! And what a match!

 

Winner: Puerto Rican Lightning (via the P.R. Nightmare)

 

"Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against The Machine starts playing as the crowd boos and throws garbage in PRL's direction.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning grabs the Puerto Rico Championship and poses with it along with Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez and Mr. Boricua. He looks at the fallen and beaten Chico being helped by the referee. PRL gives a glance at Mr. Boricua...and ATTACKS!!! He lays a beating on Chico as the crowd boos some more.

 

He gives Chico another P.R. Nightmare! He follows it up with the Annexation of Puerto Rico! But he's still not done! He locks in the Crippler Crossface which he calls "Puerto Rico Hurricane." The bell continues ringing as the crowd boos and the referee tries to stop him. Mr. Boricua throws the referee out of the ring!

 

The beatdown continues. Suddenly, the crowd cheers as The Mad Cappa makes his way into the ring! He begins taking out Puerto Rican Lightning in the corner. He whips PRL into the ropes...and comes back with the BUST A CAP. Puerto Rican Lightning does a Rock-Like oversell of the move. TMC begins dancing as the crowd cheers. But it doesn't last forever as Mr. Boricua grabs TMC by his neck and does a CHOKESLAM on him!!! The crowd boos again as Mr. Boricua heads to the outside. He grabs a chair and begins using the chair on TMC! He continues the assualt as PRL gets up. He commands him to continue as he trash talks to The Mad Cappa.

 

He continues beating down and PRL helps but suddenly the crowd cheers agin. NazMistry runs into the ring. PRL stops what he's doing and begs off Naz. Naz doesn't care and begins hitting PRL. Mr. Boricua shortly stops it with a chairshot to the back. Naz no-sells and begins beating down on Mr. Boricua with shots to the face. One punch sends Mr. Boricua over the top rope! NazMistry picks up Puerto Rican Lightning and is about to do the Mistryfier on PRL...but Ms. Gonzalez does a low-blow! Naz no-sells THAT and begins to go after Ms. Lindsay as the crowd cheers. He grabs Lindsay by her hair but PRL clips him on his right foot and grabs Lindsay out of the ring. He also grabs the Puerto Rico Championship. Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez head to the entrance as NazMistry stands victorious over The Mad Cappa. "Chop Suey" by System of a Down plays as Naz poses for the fans and trashtalks with PRL.

 

Coach: CHAOS! CHAOS! CHAOS once again reigns supreme when it comes to these high-flying greats.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

THE MAD CAPPPA VS. VIRGIN ISLAND THUNDER

 

They return from commercial break as Virgin Island Thunder is already in the ring. Final Audition plays on the speakers, but quickly changes to Ode to Joy as The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco come out to boos from the crowd! Cappa has a determined look on his face. Rusco has a mic. He says, "Look here, my beef is not with you people! So I don't want any boos alright!" Crowd gives more boos! "Forget you then! Mr. Thunder, what you did last week was a grave sin by pissin' us off! Now you must pay the price! Naz, Lightning, this is what gonna' happen to ya' for messin' with the wrong people!"

 

Coach: I have to be blunt with you, Vince Rusco is a PRICK~!

Cole: OMG!

 

The Mad Cappa attacks Virgin Island Thunder before the bell sounds! Cappa keeps on pounding on VI Thunder to boos! Cappa Irish whips VI Thunder and dropkicks him when VI Thunder comes back! Cappa picks him up, tries to punch him, but VI Thunder blocks them! VI Thunder starts fighting back! However, Cappa ducks one punch and does a Fall From Grace! Cappa climbs the turnbuckle and does a legdrop from the top turnbuckle! Cappa goes for the cover. Vince Rusco tells him to make him pay for beating him the week before! Cappa gets mad!

 

Cole: Cappa is RELENTLESS, and he HAS to be after losing to this jobber last week!

Coach: Hey, that was ALL Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

The Mad Cappa picks Virgin Island Thunder up and VI Thunder flips out! VI Thunder starts punching away at Cappa to cheers! He pushes Cappa to the turnbuckle. They alternate chops as the crowd goes WOOO! everytime a chop is done!

 

However, The Mad Cappa grabs Virgin Island Thunder and does a Tornado DDT off the turnbuckle! Cappa quickly recovers and runs off the top turnbuckle into a side swinging moonsault! The crowd ooohs at this! Cappa goes for the pin cover, but VI Thunder's right foot is under the rope! Vince Rusco tries to push VI Thunder's foot away, but the ref stops him! Cappa gets VI Thunder back up, but VI Thunder does a Thunderkick on Cappa! VI Thunder goes for the cover, but Cappa kicks out at one. VI Thunder tries a Thunderclap, but Cappa blocks it and runs off the ropes. Cappa does an IMPACT! Cappa, still upset, picks VI Thunder up for a Cappabomb! As soon as the ref goes down to count, Cappa gets VI Thunder back up and BUSTS A CAP!

 

Cole: BUST A CAP! BUST A CAP! VI Thunder is legally UNCONSCIOUS~!

 

VI Thunder is out! Cappa then slaps on the Walls of Cappa to loud boos! The ref raises VI Thunder's right hand three times. The ref calls for the bell.

 

Coach: And with the devastating Walls of Cappa, The Mad One avenges his loss from last week.

 

Winner: The Mad Cappa (via the Walls of Cappa)

 

Final Audition plays up on the speakers as Vince Rusco comes in to celebrate! Suddenly, The Mad Cappa and Rusco start double teaming on VI Thunder. Then Naz Mistry runs out with a chair and smacks both of them out of the ring to loud cheers! Rusco and Cappa walk back slowly in pain to the backstage area to boos!

 

Cole: This feud gets hotter and hotter every time these guys are in the same vicinity!

 

The Purist and Jim Cornette are backstage, with a OAOAST banner behind them.

 

Cornette: Last Monday night, on the Intense Zone - the Purist and myself were threaten by the Sandman, so we acted like any normal person would do - we attacked him in self-defense. Then later on in the show, we issued an open challenge to Sandman but he kept refusing because he's scared of my wrestling machine, the Purist. But Sandman is running around saying he accept the challenge. At AngleMania, in front of all the fans in Tokyo, who appreciate wrestling - that's right, WRESTLING! they'll see you go down at the hands of the Purist!

 

The Purist whispers something to Jim Cornette.

 

Cornette: Ha ha. As a matter of fact, Sandman, in just a few minutes, the Purist will show you how "hardcore" he can get.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, already in the ring, from the deepest, darkest Africa, Mr. Big.

 

Crowd gives a mild reaction to Mr. Big.

 

Ring Announcer: His opponent, to be introduced by his manager...

 

Jim Cornette makes his way to the ring.

 

Cornette: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to, the man who at AngleMania II will be giving Mr. Sandman a dream... The Purist~!

The crowd boos as the Purist makes a slow walk to the ring.

 

Ring Announcer: And his manger, James E. Cornette.

 

Cornette: Woooooooo! haha

 

Cornette grabs the mic, and looks at Mr. Big.

 

Cornette: Pal, I know you come from the deepest, darkest Africa - so brother, I know you need the money. I'm going to offer you a proposal, I'll give you $1 American dollar if you agree to fight the Purist in a No-DQ match. Whatta 'bout it, huh?

 

Cornette shows Big the dollar.

 

Mr. Big looks for crowd approve; they say NO~!

 

Big shakes his head.

 

Cornette: Come on, Big. One American dollar.

 

Cornette shoves the dollar in his face.

 

Cornette: For your family!

 

Big accepts the dollar.

 

Cornette: Haha. Ring the bell.

 

* DING DING DING *

 

The Purist starts of fast-paced, as he quickly attacks Mr. Big with various kicks and punches. The Purist throws Big to the outside, and removes the mat from the floor. Purist bodyslams Big, then nails a piledriver on the concrete floor.

 

Cole: OMG! Was that dollar worth it, Big? WAS IT?!

Coach: I’m racially offended!

Cole: Don’t start…

 

Jim Cornette is shown laughing. "I can't believe that fool granted his own deathwish" says Cornette, to the camera. The Purist throws Big back into the ring and ties him up in the ropes. His manager, Jim Cornette grabs a chair from ringside and hands it to the Purist, who uses it to repeatedly bash Big in the head until Big is bleeding.

 

Cole: I thought he was a “wrestler”?

 

Cornette tells The Purist "That's enough. Finish him."

 

The Purist then locks on his trademarked old-school BOSTON CRAB. The ref checks on Big, who's out-cold. The ref calls for the bell.

 

* DING DING DING *

 

Ring Announcer: The winner of the match, The Purist.

 

James E. heads into the ring and takes away the dollar bill he gave Mr. Big.

 

Cole: What a bastard!

Coach: WHAT A WIN~!

 

Jim looks in the camera: "Sandman, that's just a little tease. There's more where that came from."

 

Winner: The Purist (via the Boston Crab)

 

*The Dream Machines, still seething from their loss, are standing next to a TV and VCR in their locker room. LPYC is looking down, and shaking his head while Shattered Dreams sadly plays with his ponytail with a frown on his face. Peter Knight is emotionless, as usual.*

 

LPYC: I want to refresh everyone’s memories with some footage. Shattered, cue it up.

 

*SD turns to the VCR, but seems to have trouble figuring out exactly how to use it*

 

LPYC: (under breath): Madre de Dios. Never mind. *pushes play and a tape of last week's IZ plays*

 

Parka puts the boots to the Poet savagely, and balls up his fist to jump and drop it on SP's head, but stops. On the outside, ZORIN has pulled Shattered Dreams down off the apron and is attacking him! Knight seems on his way to help, but KOTZENJUNGE slams him with a steel chair from behind!

 

Parka looks around, and seeing Kotzenjunge distracted, runs back to bounce off the ropes, presumably to baseball slide into Kotz on the outside. He forgot about SPIDERPOET, however, who kips up right in front of him and manages to hit a quick TILDEBANG~! SP makes a quick tag to Dandy, who hits the top rope. BIG AIR FROGSPLASH~! Dandy makes the cover, and once the ref is intent on Parka's shoulders, Dandy props his feet on the ropes and SP HOLDS THEM THERE FOR LEVERAGE. 1-2-3!

 

Kotzenjunge and Zorin are at the bottom of the ramp surveying the damage they've done with smirks. Kotz twirls a glowstick before pointing it at Parka, who is on his knees in the ring, SEETHING with rage at how this turned out. Kotzenjunge offers a grin and a wink before the Boogie Knights make their way back up the ramp.

 

*Tape is stopped*

 

LPYC: Those assholes. Interfering in OUR match like that and preventing us from getting some gold. (Chuckles) Pricks seem to be pretty sure of themselves, don’t they? (chuckles again, then yells at the camera) WELL I’M SURE OF SOMETHING!! I’M SURE THAT IF WE EVER MEET UP WITH THOSE TWO AGAIN, THEY WILL SURELY BE IN A WOLD OF HURT!!

 

SD: Like, they took away our opportunity, P. Money! The chance to get those shiny gold belts. I mean, I had a ton of outfits just WAITING for a belt to complete the ensemble. I had this nice pantsuit...(Parka interrupts)

 

LPYC: THE POINT IS….those Boogie Knights deserve to pay for what they have done. I realize that they have a match on Intense Zone this Monday for a shot at the tag team titles at Anglemania, OUR TITLES. That match is of great interest to us. Shattered, tell ‘em why.

 

SD: Actually, I want to see those cool odd dudes the Miracle Weirdness Connection mop the floor with those little bitches much like our boys in Iraq will with that awful, awful man, Soda Hussein. Ya know, I bet if Soda Hussein and that Bush dude went and got a facial together, they would be like such good friends. One time, J-Lo like ate all my tofu burgers. I was like so pissed! I didn't talk to her for like two hours. Then she gave me a surprise facial and now we're like such good friends! Anyway, what was I saying (lights sparklers and salutes)? Oh yeah, God bless America!

 

LPYC: (rubs mask) Yeah, that, but I was thinking of a little saying that my mama taught me while growing up. What goes around…

 

Peter Knight: …comes around.

 

*LPYC and PK chuckle as SD waves the sparklers around, starting a one-man “USA” chant.*

 

SD: Why don't we bomb a country that sucks, like San Diego. Oh my god, San Diego totally sucks. There are like homeless people all over the place. They always ask you for like money so they can catch a bus. It's like, oh my god, why don't you buy a car? Buy a house to. (PK and Parka decide to leave) Like, we should put all the homeless dudes in a giant electric chair and just kill them. I told that to Kate Hudson and she's all like "You're such an asshole." I was like "What the fuck ever! You weren't saying that when I was masturbating in your kitchen." She was all like "Yes I was. You did it into my Lucky Charms box! You're such a dick!". Then I told her to get out of my house and she like hung up the phone. She probably went to like get me flowers and candy…….

 

*Fade to black*

 

Cole: Am I losing my mind, or did Shattered Dreams say that stuff before?

Coach: Hey, it’s entertaining~!

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

We fade back in, on a darkened room, where one man sits, hunched over...

 

And then the lights turn on, and he looks up, a cheesy smile on his face as he grins like a nutcase into the camera!

 

"Hello, everybody. Tonight, Coca-Cola, in association with Skittles, XXX, which is now available on DVD and VHS wherever videos are sold, and Snickers Cruncher - Crunch This!, are proud to present to the OAOAST me, Calvin Szechstein."

 

Szechstein stands up, walking in a straight line very slowly and pronounced as the camera follows.

 

"Now, I'm sure many of you are wondering, "Gee, Calvin, why are you gracing the OAOAST with your presence?" Well, OAOAST fans, it's simple. I was playing Crazy Taxi Three - High Roller, now available on Xbox, and I turned it off, and I saw a commercial for Coca-Cola, which by the way is real. And I turned off my Sony 23" television and said to myself, "Calvin, you've got to let the entire world know about this." So I called up the OAOAST offices on my Nokia cell phone - can you hear me now? - and I said, "Listen, baby, I've gotta let the world know about how great this stuff is." And we engaged in a long conversation about Monopoly Party, now available on Playstation 2, and at the end of it he took a sip of his Sprite Remix, coming to stores this summer, and he said, "Calvin, I'm giving you a contract."

 

Calvin pauses next to a circular table with a single can of Coca-Cola on it.

 

"But you see, sports fans, Calvin Szechstein is not here because of Calvin Szechstein. No, Calvin Szechstein is being brought to you by Coca-Cola." Calvin smiles widely, picking up the can of Coke and opening it. "Can you hear that sound? That's the sound of freshness." Calvin raises the can to his lips and takes a long drink before putting the can back down on the table. "And that, my friends, is one excellent beverage. If only you could taste it - wait, you can! Just run out to your nearest grocery store and pick up a can of Coke. Tell 'em Calvin Szechstein sent ya."

 

Calvin smiles and continues his stroll, pausing again at a television set with a DVD case next to it. Calvin picks up the case, cradling it in his arms like a newborn baby and allowing the camera to get a close-up on the cover. "As you can see, this is Vin Diesel. Vin is someone that all of you should love and adore - just like me, only with bigger muscles. And he's a great actor, too - you should check out his latest production, Triple X, now available wherever VHS and DVDs are sold."

 

Calvin puts on a face like the Thinker and looks at the TV. "Hmm. I wonder what would happen if I pushed this button." Szechstein presses the on button, and the screen fires up, showing Calvin himself doing a 450 Splash.

 

"Ah, it's the Calvin Szechstein Highlight Video, only six ninety nine on EBay! And look, this is me doing the Four Hundred and Fifty Degree Splash, As Brought To You By Skittles."

 

On the video, Calvin pulls off a DDT.

 

"And Snickers Cruncher - Crunch This! Would Like To Present You With A Beautifully Executed DDT!"

 

Calvin now pulls off a springboard moonsault DDT.

 

"And there's the Springboard Moonsault DDT, As Brought To You By XXX, Now Available On DVD!"

 

The video fades out, displaying the Skittles logo.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you all to go out and buy Skittles now - you, too, can taste the rainbow! I'm Calvin Szechstein, As Brought To You By Coca-Cola."

 

Calvin's smiling face is brought to a close up as we fade out...

 

Cole: Well, that was bizarre.

Coach: Might I mention that while sipping at my deliciously refreshing Mountain Dew Code Red, I noticed that your Calvin Klein blouse was stained.

Cole: Because he didn’t use a Trojan Condom with Spermicide! Oh, wait…

“…”

 

K-NESS vs. Cherry Poppin' Daddy

 

Coach: Let's see here, we have a Charleston dancer and Philippian technical wrestler, I think we are going to see a clash of styles here.

Cole: I'm not sure about that, K-NESS is a very underrated dancer.

 

"Go Daddy-O" hits as Cherry Poppin' Daddy makes his way to the ring to a big pop with his red and purple suit on, dancing the Charleston as always.

 

Coach:MY GOD!, THE WHOLE ARENA IS DANCING THE CHARLESTON!,IM GONNA HAVE TO COME... AGAIN AND DANCE!!!

Cole:Yep, see ya!

 

The lights go out and Trans-Magic hits as a blue spotlight centers on K-NESS and he walks slowly to the ring, he removes the towel from around his neck and throws it away

 

Cole: And We're ON!

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

Cherry Poppin' Daddy immediatlely runs at K-NESS and gets armdraged as a result, but comes back with a dropkick.Big clothesline and he waits for K-NESS to get up and surprises him with the Charleston kick.

 

Cole: WHATAMANOEUVER!!!!!

Daddy covers.

Cole: One-Two-THREEHEGOTHIMNO!!!!!!

 

Daddy gets really frustrated and dances a bit to calm himself down, but doesn't realize that K-NESS is back up behind him and gets hit with an enziguri and before Cherry Poppin' Daddy can do anything about it K-NESS slaps on the Dragon Sleeper.

 

Cole: K-NESS seems to be going for the head & neck area, brillant strategy.

 

Daddy makes it to the ropes and both guys are back up. They exchange punches and Cherry Poppin' Daddy gets the upper hand with the Juke, Jive and Wail, but K-NESS isn't going down, big kick to the head followed by a SweetHeart Suplex and Daddy goes for the cover.

 

Coach: Daddy needs to Dance some to get his pace back

COLE: IT'S OVER, IT'S ALL OVER!

1.. 2.. 2.9, K-NESS kicks out.

 

Daddy whips him into the ropes and goes for the Whip it but K-NESS locks his arms around his waist and goes for the Rolling Backdrops as the crowd counts.

1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

He finally releases the hold and goes for the Sharpshooter, but gets rolled up!, 1.. 2.. NO!, he kicks out

 

Cole: Man, that was close!

 

Cherry Poppin’ Daddy moves quickly and before K-NESS knows it Daddy has him in a heel hold right in the center of the ring.

 

Cole: K-NESS can’t get to the ropes, he’ll have to counter with something quickly or he will have to submit.

 

K-NESS turns around, gets up on one foot, BANG!, enzuguri and we HIT THE CHINLOCK~!, Daddy fights his way out of it. Both guys are back up and they lockup, K-NESS pushes his opponent in the corner and they exchange punches, K-NESS whips Daddy into the ropes and hits the Western Lariat.

 

Cole:Cherry Poppin’ Daddy has to be groggy after all these high-impact moves to the neck.

 

As Daddy gets up K-NESS sets him up for a German suplex BUT NO!, Cherry Poppin’ Daddy goes for the Zoot Suit Ri... NO WAIT!, K-NESS throws him into the ropes!, he gets back behind him and hits the Release Tigah Suplex 85’.

 

Cole:MY GOD!, I’ve seen head-drops in my life, but MAN that one was vicious.

K-NESS goes for the cover. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!, IT’S OVER!!

 

Winner: K-NESS (via the Release Tiger Suplex ’85)

 

After the match, Cherry Poppin’ Daddy gets up with the help of K-NESS and they shake hands, Daddy is TOTALLY out of it but still has enought inside him to DANCE~!, K-NESS leaves and gets booed, he has this “meh... what the heck” look on his face and JOINS Cherry Poppin’ Daddy, Cole watches in awe, his mouth wide open, speechless.

 

COACH: OMG~! IM SOOOOOO JEALOUS!!!

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Cole: Well folks, we have some CANDID~ footage from the locker room earlier tonight, following The Mad Cappa’s victory.

 

They go to a private locker room in the backstage area as The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco are on the edge.

 

Vince Rusco: "You see! That was amazing on what you did out there! It should send a message to Naz and that Lightning guy!"

 

The Mad Cappa: "I can't wait to get my hands on those two punks!"

 

VR: "Yes, you shall! Let's face it! You're goin' to AngleMania II! The REAL showcase of the immortals! They will go down in the grandest stage of them all! We'll make NazMistry pay for meddling in our business! We'll make Puerto Rican Lightning pay for applying all those damn mind games!"

 

A door knocks. They open the door and see a Puerto Rican flag on the floor!

 

VR: "What the hell?!"

 

TMC: "Look, it has a note!"

 

They open up the note.

 

VR: (Reading) "See you at AngleMania, loser!"

 

TMC: (Fuming mad) "That asshole! He's really askin' for it!:

 

Vince Rusco sees a Puerto Rican Lightning look alike in the distance.

 

VR: "I bet you Lightning sent it! Look, he's right over there!"

 

TMC: "Let's get him!"

 

The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco run towards the Puerto Rican Lightning look alike. Cappa does an IMPACT! on him while Rusco hits him with a cane at the same time! They both kick on the PR Lightning look alike until his hood comes off!

 

TMC: "HEY! It's not Lightning!"

 

VR: "If it's not Lightning, then where is he?"

 

Puerto Rican Lightning sneaks in from behind to do a Puerto Rican Nightmare on The Mad Cappa! Vince Rusco runs away like a coward! However, a fist shows up out of nowhere to knock out Rusco! Mr. Boricua steps out of the corner! PR Lightning and Mr. B are about to leave, but a door opens. NazMistry runs out with a chair and clocks both PR Lightning and Mr. B! Naz keeps on hitting them with a chair until the security forces come in to subdue Naz! The segments ends as Naz tries to struggle away!

 

Coach: And now we’re back to REAL TIME~!

 

A door is shown. On the door is a nameplate. The nameplate is decked out in the Puerto Rico flag with Puerto Rican Lightning written on it. The door opens. Out steps Puerto Rican Lightning with his Puerto Rico Championship over his shoulder holding Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez's hand. Out also comes Mr. Borica. He is wearing a suit and tie and has taped fists. He is wearing sunglasses and is grunting.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Okay, Mr. Boricua. This is it. Your first ever professional wrestling match. Now don't be too nervous. Don't concetrate on anything else. Not on these stupid fans, not on NazMistry, not on Mad Cappa, not even on me. I want you to concetrate only, ONLY on Vince Rusco. Got that? Remember...Vince......Rusco. Not......me. Oooooooookkkayyyy?

 

Boricua nods and grunts.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: Don't worry, I'll take care of Cappa. Just destroy Rusco! Are you ready?

 

Boricua: YES!

 

PRL: Are you ready?

Boricua: YES!

PRL: ARE YOU READY?!!!

Boricua: YES! YES!! YES!!!!!!! I WILL DESTROY VINCE RUSCO BOSS!!!

PRL: Good job! Show him what happens when you mess with us! Show him Mr. Boricua! Show him!

Boricua: OKAY!!!

PRL: Alright! Lindsay! Let's go!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, and Mr. Boricua begin walking down to the entrance.

 

VINCE RUSCO VS. MR. BORICUA

 

Ode to Joy plays on the speakers as The Mad Cappa and Vince Rusco come out to boos! Cappa has a hesistant look on his face. Rusco has the mic again! He says, "Mr. Boricua, I have decided to forsake my time to diss the dimwitted simpletons (the crowd boos!) and I want to face you! (Cappa has a shocked look on his face!) So, Señor B, get your ass on out here!"

 

The arena turns dark as a lightning bolt hits the set. "Bulls on Parade" by Rage Against the Machine plays on the speakers. The lights turn back on as Puerto Rican Lightning and Mr. Boricua come down to boos! PR Lightning sneers at the crowd! The crowd soon starts chanting for NazMistry! Mr. Boricua has a mic and says, "ahora bendejo!"

 

"Chop Suey" by System of a Down plays as the crowd cheers loudly! NazMistry comes out to cheers! He has his own mic and says, "It looks like there is going to be a match without me involved! I can't let that happen! So, I have declared myself to be the special referee! So get to fighting!" The crowd cheers!

 

The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning go down to ringside as the bell sounds. Vince Rusco takes off his jacket and rolex watch and throws it to Cappa! Mr. Boricua dash kicks Rusco! Rusco gets back up and tries to throw a punch, but Mr. B grabs him and gorilla press slams him to show to the crowd! Rusco clutches back in pain! Mr. B bodyslams Rusco! Mr. B quickly goes for the cover.

However, NazMistry is reading Zack Attack's column in the OAOAST magazine!

 

Coach: OGM~! TEH ZAC KACTTAC MANIA SI SWPIENTNG DA NATION!

Cole: …I prefer Hot Newzwire, myself.

 

Mr. Boricua yells at Naz to count the cover. Naz slowly puts his knees on the mat. He then checks to see if Vince Rusco's arms are on the mat by placing his right hand to see if there is space! This takes about five seconds before he makes the first count! Rusco kicks out! Mr. B gets in Naz's face, complaning that he is counting too slow! Naz flicks him off! Mr. B is still in his face!

 

Coach: Why, how rude!

Cole: Since when did you become the master of etiquette?

 

Vince Rusco gets up behind Mr. Boricua and low blows him! Mr. B bends down in pain! Rusco then DDTs Mr. B! Mr. B rapidly gets back up and attempts to chokeslam Rusco! However, Rusco elbows him on the jaw and gets let go! Rusco then points his finger upward as Mr. B stares at it. Rusco eye pokes him to laughs! Rusco takes a step back and superkicks Mr. B! Rusco now goes for the cover. However, NazMistry takes his sweet time to go for the first count!

 

Coach: C’mon Naz, be a trooper!

 

Mr. Boricua kicks out at one! Vince Rusco is now in Naz's face! Mr. B gets up and headbutts him on the back of the head! Rusco goes down! The Mad Cappa gets up on the ropes and starts talking trash at Mr. B! Mr. B runs over to try to knock Cappa off, but Cappa jumps down! Rusco gets up and waits for Mr. B to turn around. Mr. B turns around into a SNEAK ATTACK from Rusco! Rusco goes for the pin attempt. Naz grabs a mic and starts counting loudly. He says, "1......2......Ah fuck this!" He drops the mic and starts attacking them to cheers!

 

Cole: CHAOS~! Once again, anything involving these parties is a powder keg waiting to explode!!

Coach: KEG?! WHERE?!

 

NazMistry hits a Mistryfier on Vince Rusco! Naz hits a Mystyfier on Mr. Boricua! The Mad Cappa and Puerto Rican Lightning run in the ring and they double team Naz! Cappa superkicks Naz into a German suplex from PR Lightning! Cappa starts to celebrate, but PR Lightning does a Puerto Rican Nightmare on Cappa! The security forces come down to break up the fight to boos! However, Naz flips back up and starts punching away on PR Lightning! The security forces do break them up as the cameras fade out!

 

WINNER: No contest.

 

Coach: Unbelievable. Absolutely.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Michael Cole: I'm Michael Cole, and I'm here backstage as I try to get a word with Puerto Rican Lightning following what has just occured in the Mr. Boricua/Vince Rusco match.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning shows up yelling and cursing along with a pissed off Mr. Boricua and worried Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez. He pouts and whines as he waves the Puerto Rico Championship around.

 

MC: Puerto Rican Lightning. Exscue me, Puerto Rican Lightning.

 

PRL: WHAT IS IT?

 

MC: Mr. Lightning, we would like to hear how you feel about NazMistry's bias refereeing in the Mr. Boricua/Vince Rusco match and how it's infected your prepration for your Triple Threat Match against him and The Mad Cappa at AngleMania II.

 

Puerto Rican Lightning: How do I feel? How do I feel? How do you think I feel you little prick! Hand me that microphone! Go back to crappy annoucing and let me do this on my own! Scram! Scram you second-rate Todd Pettengill!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning looks at the camera as he holds the Puerto Rico Championship over his shoulder.

 

PRL: NazMistry! Mad Cappa! You have annoyed me for the last time!!! I am sick and tired of you Naz, interferring in my buisness! I have made it my mission, that at AngleMania II, at the Tokoyo Dome, I WILL END YOUR CAREER! I will cripple you and I will enjoy seeing you in pain! Watch out when the Lightning strikes because you will experience a P.R. Nightmare!

 

And as for you! Mad Crappa! You little pussy! Like I have said a dozen times, I feel sorry that Vince Rusco has such a crappy wrestler as his client! I will show him just how bad you really are at AngleMania when I take you out forever!!! You are no better than NazMistry and I will use that to my advantage when I give both of you the P.R. Nightmare!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning sighs and cools down as chants of "P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks! P.R. Sucks!" PRL heards the chants and covers his ears. It doesn't work so he slaps his head three times.

 

PRL: Stop it. Stop it! STOP IT I SAY!!! STOP IT!!! I have had enough of both of you and at AngleMania, I'll take you out! Infact, let's make this match a little more interesting. How about I put the Puerto Rico Championship ON THE LINE!!! So on March 30th at AngleMania II, it's gonna be Puerto Rican Lightning with Mr. Boricua and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez on my side, vs. The Mad Cappa vs. NazMistry for the Puerto Rico Championship!!! And not only will I end Naz's career and cripple The Mad Cappa, but I will walk out of the Tokoyo Dome STILL the Puerto Rico Champion! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Naz, Crappa. Get ready. For you will experience the biggest and most painful night in your lives. Come on let's go!!!

 

Puerto Rican Lightning, Mr. Boricua, and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez leave.

 

Coach: Well, it looks like it’s official! That match is ON for AngleMania! And as for Cole…I’m sorry. But when we come back…DA BOMB! DA BOMB! DA BOMB! But first…a “classic” OAOAST Moment!

 

“Woohoo” hits and Agnes goes to the ring expecting his first win.

 

Finkle: “This Match will only end when one member of the Dungeon of Doom is pinned, or Agnes dies. Now introducing first, the jobber of the OAOAST, Agnes”

 

Fans boo.

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“The Thing That Should Not Be” hits. The Dungeon steps out, and goes to the ring.

 

Finkle: “And now introducing next, the Dungeon of Doom.”

 

Fans boo even louder.

 

Bell rings.

 

The Taskmaster steps in and starts the fight with Agnes. They fight for a while, Agnes runs back, and hits a spinning heel kick, which drops the Taskmaster. Agnes traps the Taskmaster in the Figure-Four leglock, but doesn’t tap out. He screams for a while, Agnes looks like he’s going to get the win, but……..

 

Deebo runs in and chokes Agnes. Agnes kicks him in the face, and runs out, he grabs the bell, and hits Deebo in the face repeatedly with the bell until the man with the crooked eyes is stunned. Agnes finishes him with a kick to the nuts, and Deebo drops. Agnes goes for a pin.

 

1! 2! And no!

 

The One Man Gang interrupts by dropping an elbow. Agnes tries to hit the slam on the Gang, but he’s too fat to slam. The Gang repeatedly punishes Agnes with his chain. Agnes kicks the Gang in the nuts, and whips him with his own chain for a while. The Gang, and Agnes are both busted open, the Gang retreats.

 

Zodiac sneaks up behind Agnes, and locks in the sleeper hold. Agnes swings the chain, back knocking Zodiac down. Agnes whips Zodiac with the chain, until he rolls out of the ring, and retreats. A rumble is felt.

 

FatBastard comes in for some reason, and fights Agnes. The Fat man squashes Agnes with an Avalanche, and hits legs drop on him. The Fatbastard walks all over Agnes, which causes him to cough up blood. FatBastard hits a banzai drop and refuses to get up.

 

Freddy runs in, and stabs the Fat man. Krueger stabs Agnes’s broken body. Agnes counters with a DDT, which knocks him out. Agnes covers him for the pin.

 

1! 2! And no!

 

John Tenta jumps around, causing an Earthquake which knocks Agnes off of Freddy. Tenta pounds on him for a while, Agnes kicks him in the nuts, and goes for a cross body. Tenta catches him, and powerslams him. Tenta starts the tremors, and hits an Earthquake splash, and then connects with an Aftershock. Tenta leaves for some reason.

 

Bane gets in and throws Agnes around. Bane plays with the device on his arm, and grows larger. Bane pummels Agnes, and then leaves. Ice starts to fall.

 

Sub-Zero gets in, and kicks Agnes repeatedly in the stomach, but Agnes catches him, and hits the Agnes on him, and covers.

 

1! 2! And no. Agnes is stabbed in the stomach.

 

The Shape chokeslams Agnes, and stands over his corpse. Agnes recovers, and gets a small package on the Shape. 1! 2! And no! The Shape kicks out, and Agnes performs a spinning Heel kick, knocking the knife out of the Shape’s hand. Agnes does the impossible, by Agnesing the Shape, and covers.

 

1! 2! And what the Hell was that!

 

A giant elbow crashes through the roof and lands on Agnes. Mr. Stay Puft grabs Agnes, and takes his clothes off. Mr. Stay Puft, plays dress up with Agnes, by putting a dress on him. Stay Puft leaves.

 

Jason lumbers in and repeatedly chokeslams Agnes. Jason stomps Agnes then traps him in the Cranium crunch. Frankenstein’s Monster runs in.

 

The Monster puts Agnes down with the AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHTHECHOKESLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The monster leaves as Jingus comes in with a sickle.

 

Jingus prepares to execute Agnes, but is interrupted by “Real American” playing.

 

Hulk Hogan comes out, and goes into the ring. Hogan rips his shirt and tosses it and Jingus. Jingus clawslams Hogan, and resumes the execution. Jingus is interrupted by the crowd cheering at Hogan’s Hulk-Up. Jingus pounds on Hogan, and Hogan gets up and shakes his head, and stomps around. Jingus jams the sickle in Hogan’s head, and Hogan stops, and shakes his finger at Jingus. Jingus swings his sickle at Hogan, but Hogan blocks, and punches Jingus three times. Hogan gives Jingus the Irish whip and the Big Boot, Hogan starts signaling for a slam, which the commentators refuse to believe that Hogan can do. Hogan slams Jingus and finishes him with the leg drop. Hogan covers him 1! 2! 3!

 

“Woohoo” plays, but s topped, by Finkle’s announcement.

 

Finkle: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has awarded the match to………The Immortal Huuulk Hogan!”

 

“Real American” plays and Hogan poses for five hours. Looks like Agnes didn’t win this time.

 

(Commercial Break)

[Guest The Superstar]

Angle-plex vs. Intensely Zoning Out

 

3…2…1…WHOO-HOO~! “Song 2” blasts through the speakers and the crowd goes apeshit for the man they CAME TO SEE~, Angle-plex! He shows off his beautiful, muscular physique, kisses his bicep, and runs into the ring to meet a man wearing an IntenseZone t-shirt and looking like a nerd, or BBP.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

IZO charges at AP, but just like IntenseZone itself, he trips and falls on his ass! The crowd laughs, and AP picks him up into a SNAP POWERSLAM! Agnes doesn’t hesitate at all, and hits a TIGER BOMB! Stupidly (just like IZ), IZO gets up, only to be met with a huge clothesline, which actually fractures his jaw.

 

Coach: My God, I didn’t know IntenseZone sucked THIS much.

Cole: Hey, I always knew the real talent was on the Thursday show.

 

Angle-plex picks up the poor jobber, and gives him a belly-to-back slam! AP holds onto a front face lock, brings him up, HANGING VERTICAL SUPLEX.

 

Coach & Cole: FEEL~ THE BLOOD RUSHING TO THE HEAD~!

 

AP drops an elbow on IZO, but as the ref begins to count, AP gets off and starts doing push-ups in the referee’s face! IZO gets up, and walks RIGHT into THE MUSHROOM CLOUD~!

 

Cole: Have I told you lately how much I love Angle-plex?

Coach: Great package.

 

ONE, TWO, THREE~!

 

Winner: Angle-plex (via the Mushroom Cloud)

 

Coach: AP is REALLY on a roll going into AngleMania!

Cole: He *IS* going to win the OAOAST World Championship!

 

After that exhausting match, Angle-plex grabs a mic!

 

“You know, we’re only 8 days away from AngleMania II. Anglesault, you think you can beat me? No, not at all. 8 Days until your reign as Champion is over. Tick tock, tick tock. Your time is up, so SUCK…My…CO-“

 

Cole: …AND WHAT A WONDERFUL SHOW WE HAD TODAY AT ROAD TO ANGLEMANIA~! I’m Michael Cole…

Coach: And I’m the Fun-lovin’ COACH~! We’ll see you next week on our VERY LAST EPISODE! Peace~!

 

[Guest The Superstar]

© 2002 OAOAST Productions

 

Director

 

The Superstar

 

Writers

 

The Superstar

Shattered Dreams

Mike Van Siclen - WELCOME BACK~!

Undisputed

Kanadian Krusty

Scott Keith’s Biggest Fan

The Mad Cappa

KingPK

Mario Logan

ZsasZ

Tony

 

Thanks to everyone for another great episode!

 

Let the feedback BEGIN~!

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

I thought it was an excellent show.

 

I don't think my work matched up that well, I'm afraid. My match was, in retrospect, a bit short and compared to SKBF's it seemed very short. Maybe his was just too long; I don't know.

 

Good show.

[Guest Angle-plex]

Now introducing first, the jobber of the OAOAST, Agnes

 

Was it REALLY necessary to use that segment again?

[Guest The Superstar]

Don't worry about it. Shows like Road to Anglemania are *MADE* for short matches...just look at Undisputed's and AP's squashes~!

[Guest The Superstar]

And by the way...I was MOST proud of this little segment:

 

IZO charges at AP, but just like IntenseZone itself, he trips and falls on his ass! The crowd laughs, and AP picks him up into a SNAP POWERSLAM! Agnes doesn’t hesitate at all, and hits a TIGER BOMB! Stupidly (just like IZ), IZO gets up, only to be met with a huge clothesline, which actually fractures his jaw.

 

Coach: My God, I didn’t know IntenseZone sucked THIS much.

Cole: Hey, I always knew the real talent was on the Thursday show.

 

And Shattered Dreams' stuff was absolutely GOLDEN.

[Patty O'Green 0]

Thanks for the compliment SS.

 

I liked Cole and Coach's commentary. They've really grown on me!

[Guest SP-1]

Good show from what I've buzzed through. SD, good stuff!

[Guest The Mad Cappa]

Once again, SD's stuff steals the show in my eyes! I thought the show was very good.

[Guest Big Poppa Popick]

SD stuff rocked

 

HD is ghey

 

and Van SICLEN returns~! OH MY GAWD~!!!

 

great effort actually...im liking the prl/tmc/naz feud thats been ongoing...really glad to have those guys on iZ, as well as loving the tdm/bk2k3 stuff

[Guest Undisputed]

Show was great...and even though I'm on the "Monday Show", Intensely Zoning Out was hilarious!